Brimstone Match
Darth vs. Pig Iron
Hot coals are placed in a pile in the center of the ring. They are smoking as flames can be seen beneath them.
Sirens blared throughout the CheeseDome as the new Hardcore Porn Champion, Pig Iron, entered the arena along with Heidi Schwarz.
Monroe: Well, he fooled us all at last week's Rumble!
Bastardo: He certainly did! I wonder what Darth is thinking.
Monroe: Pig Iron accused Darth of being the weak link in the Dark Lords! Darth responded by accusing Pig Iron of being afraid. He said he would burn the fear right out of Pig Iron in this match!
Then the CheeseDome goes dark as Darth enters the arena, rising up from below the stage. Chesty LeRou accompanies him, as always. Darth makes his way down to ringside as Pig Iron starts trash talking him and holding up the Hardcore Porn belt.
Monroe: He's showing off that belt. Darth said Piggie couldn't win it.
Bastardo: Pig Iron proved him wrong there!
Pig Iron hands off the belt to Schwarz and steps up into Darth's face. Darth is fuming quietly. Piggie hauls off and slaps Darth right in the face! Darth angrily grabs PI by the throat and picks him up in a chokehold!
He tosses PI backfirst into the ring post and goes for a running boot, but PI drops down. Darth narrowly avoids hitting the post and turns as PI tries for a clothesline, but Darth hits an armdrag, sending him into the ringsteps!
Monroe: The stairs go flying!
Bastardo: Both of these men have spent time fighting in the hardcore division, Monroe! This match is gonna get real ugly, real quick!
Darth picks PI up and positions him on the ring apron and goes for a legdrop off of the apron! PI is stunned and rolls over as Darth prepares to inflict more punishment!
Schwarz tries to attack Darth from behind with her nightstick, but it has no effect! Darth glares at the ex-cop, but before he can do anything, Chesty grabs Schwarz by the hair and the two start going at it!
Monroe: CATFIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!
Bastardo: YESSSS!!!!!
Chesty and Schwarz fight around the ring as the two struggle for control. Schwarz takes a shot at Chesty with the nightstick, but Chesty ducks and spits Hellfire into Schwarz' face!
Monroe: Hellfire!!!
Darth goes for a running shoulderblock, but PI steps aside, as Darth smashes into the guardrail! PI dives off of the ring apron, hitting a flying Pig on the Wing, sending both men over and into the crowd! They land direcly on the lap of an old woman in the front row!
Monroe: It's take a wrestler home with you day here in RDCW!
Bastardo:
Chesty has now handcuffed Schwarz's arms around one of the ringposts, preventing her from further interfering. Chesty starts pounding on the mat, attempting to rally Darth.
Darth and PI brawl back around the ring as both men attempt to force the other into the bed of hot coals! The smoke is filling up the CheeseDome as it becomes difficult for people to breathe!
Monroe: I wish Rob would get us a new air vent!
Bastardo: That cheapskate? We'll be lucky if he springs for pyro next week!
Darth goes for a Sithspawn, but PI escapes and hits an elbow to the gut, causing Darth to inhale a large amount of smoke. Darth staggers for a bit, but PI goes for a Pork U, dropping Darth directly onto the pile of coals!
The bell rings, as Lothar signifies Pig Iron has won the match! Darth quickly rolls off of the coals as Chesty and several EMTs check on his condition!
Grimm's music begins to play as he walks out onto the rampway with a mic.
Grimm: Are you two done now? Are you finished? Because I've had just about enough of all of this! You are going to cooperate with each other if it kills you! That's why I've entered the two of you as a tag team in next week's T.I.T.s matches!
Monroe: Oh my!
Bastardo: These two guys just tried to kill each other! Now they have to work together? They won't be able to do it!
Monroe: We'll find out next week, Louie! Fans, we'll see you then! Goodnight!