RKMBs
Posted By: harleykwin Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 5:15 PM
Yeah, yeah, I know we get a bad rap, but this one was brilliant. Got it in an e-mail and it made me giggle...

Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in
Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be
granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being
offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which
took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to
the FHA, he received the following reply:

(Actual letter):"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's
loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title.

While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented
the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual Letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been
received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194
years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated
person in this country, particularly those working in the property area,
would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in
1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification
of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership
was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from
Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about
titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope
before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as
I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and
God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world
called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His
origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it
AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now,
may we have our loan?"

He got the loan.









Posted By: Pig Iran Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 5:21 PM
at least he was thorough the second time around....
Posted By: Nöwheremän Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 5:35 PM
Funny lawyer story!

A lawyer was knocked down by a car!

Posted By: Glacier16 Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 5:40 PM
 Originally Posted By: harleykwin
Yeah, yeah, I know we get a bad rap, but this one was brilliant. Got it in an e-mail and it made me giggle...

Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in
Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be
granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being
offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which
took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to
the FHA, he received the following reply:

(Actual letter):"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's
loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title.

While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented
the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual Letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been
received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194
years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated
person in this country, particularly those working in the property area,
would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in
1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification
of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership
was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from
Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about
titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope
before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as
I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and
God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world
called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His
origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it
AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now,
may we have our loan?"

He got the loan.











\:lol\:
Posted By: sneaky bunny Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 5:45 PM
 Originally Posted By: Nowhereman
Funny lawyer story!

A lawyer was knocked down by a car!


and then went gay.
Posted By: THE Bastard Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 8:16 PM
 Originally Posted By: harleykwin
Yeah, yeah, I know we get a bad rap, but this one was brilliant. Got it in an e-mail and it made me giggle...

Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in
Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be
granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being
offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which
took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to
the FHA, he received the following reply:

(Actual letter):"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's
loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title.

While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented
the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual Letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been
received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194
years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated
person in this country, particularly those working in the property area,
would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in
1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification
of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership
was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from
Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about
titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope
before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as
I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and
God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world
called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His
origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it
AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now,
may we have our loan?"

He got the loan.











Cound't be arsed...
Posted By: sneaky bunny Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 8:18 PM
well least you took the time to click quote and type just to increase your post count.
is Harley a real lawyer, or a fake one like G-man?
Posted By: THE Bastard Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 9:03 PM
 Originally Posted By: sneaky bunny
well least you took the time to click quote and type just to increase your post count.


exactly
Posted By: THE Bastard Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 9:05 PM
 Originally Posted By: Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man
is Harley a real lawyer, or a fake one like G-man?


The real question is: are Harley's tits real or fake ones like G-Man's?
Posted By: big_pimp_tim Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 9:45 PM
why did i see harley's tits and gman's name in the same senteence?
Posted By: thedoctor Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 9:46 PM
 Originally Posted By: big_pimp_tim
why did i see harley's tits and gman's name in the same senteence?


Because you were looking at G-man's tits.
Posted By: big_pimp_tim Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 9:47 PM
gobdammit!

people should trick me with a harley boob talk
Posted By: PJP Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-21 9:50 PM
no offense to anyone, but I hate lawyers.
Posted By: harleykwin Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-22 1:09 AM
 Originally Posted By: Nowhereman
Funny lawyer story!

A lawyer was knocked down by a car!



By a Welshie who drove on the wrong side of the road!
Posted By: Nöwheremän Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-22 1:31 AM
Nothing can distract from the humour of a lawyer laying in a pool of their own blood.
Especially as (unlike roadkill), the car reversed back to make sure they finished the job!
Posted By: Uschi Re: Funny lawyer story... - 2007-06-22 1:41 AM
oh yeah, I remember that one!

What's the difference between a dead snake on a road and a dead lawyer? Tire-skid marks in front of the snake.
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