Seriously. If my freakish ass can get some pussy... happy birthday, dude.

But for reals.

What's the problem, dude? Just gotta be chill, man. Put it out there.

Not literally.

Any woman can get laid. The same doesn't go for guys.

Happy burpday,Snarf.

that makes no sense, if you know a woman and she likes you and you ask her to have sex, she will have sex with you. i think the problem some guys have is not asking.

Nervousness (snarf) scares women. What he needs to do is stop being himself and he'll get laid.

That's the one obstacle Snarf has to overcome, after that, it's smooth sailing.

Yeah, it's just a minor issue.

http://snarf.urbanup.com/3992963
13. Snarf 2 thumbs up love it hate it

A complete and utter retard of the highest order, often altered to the word Snarftard.

Snarfs generally talk out of their arses, and make comments that make little or no sense.

They also tend to be pathetic individuals, who whine that life has been tough for them.
That makes no sense at all, why must you be such a Snarf?
snarf retard idiot turd crap
by Mr. Samoa Joe May 25, 2009 share this

Now, was this sixty-nine oral stuff, or was there some scissoring and strap-ons involved?

I ask for research purposes only...

:D

I *wonder*!

For the record tho, my tits are bruised to hell again.

And as for "any woman can get laid" I must posit; how many people can tell I'm a woman?!

Your giant boobs give it away.

You'd be very VERY surprised then to know that a good eighth of the people I meet are either startled to find out I'm a chick or just never catch on.

Joe Mama has giant boobs.

I also live in a place where I see women who dress and look like you. I've got an eye for it.

Well, i live in the City of Churches. Fags still draw a lot of eyes.

heh. I live in the county that has the lowest amount of churches per capita in the entire country.

heathens!

This elegantly explains why you're pure evil.

And a basement vagrant.

I had an varmint in mah basement once! Yella-belly varmint!

BTW rex, you keep saying "even I'M almost-kind-of-about-to get laid" to Snarf. How's that action? Got any amputees tied up under the stairs yet?

gotsta waits until they is RIPE, Precious!

Abortion?

No, silly! I don't fuck asians!

Too soon?

I have a girlfriend that I met online. She doesn't live in the area but she's moving here in a couple months. She has all her limbs and all of her senses work fine.

wait until the meat is DRIPPING off the bones!

Now, now, I've now come to realize that any evil tendencies are due to his (probably) gangster family. Said family keeps him forcibly locked in the basement while they plan their next crime wave. It's tragic.

Snarf, you remember when I made that thread "Snarf, you're an okay guy"?

I'm beginning to regret that...........

I regret nothing. Ever.

Go ahead.

Go ahead and ask me.

Ask me if I regret WWII.

Russian mail-order? It's finally come to that?

BECAUSE I DON'T!

I made a very lovely roads system!

Do you regret WWII?

Yeah, but you fucked up hating Jews for the rest of us...

No, you're thinking of wonder mcgroin. This is just a normal girl who for whatever reason is attracted to me.

She'll probably say something like "Only that it wasn't longer", and then she'll cue up the rimshot smiley.

This gave me a nosebleed trying to read...

No. You ever hear of French Fries? I was working on something similar...

You can still hate Jews! Only the Jews will be offended!

I know...but, its just.....well, now it's been done, you know? I mean, where's the cutting-edge in just hating people that have already been hated before? And, may I say, by someone far more versed in hate than I'll ever be, mind you!

It just kind of.....you know....takes the fun out of it....

You can hate Scientologists! There hasn't been any organized hate against them yet, to my knowledge. Unless you count the various investigations when they committed the largest theft of government documents....

you met her in WoW didnt you?

So basically, you are saying his parents are criminals and could go to prison.
Not hypocritical at all there Snarf.

Not allowed to say your brother is a turn coat, but you can quite happily accuse a mans family of criminal acts!

Ahhhhh..... You've moved on to the mentally disabled then, huh?

But Elsia is married!

Ah, the old "I have a girlfriend in another state that I've never actually met" claim. A real classic. Used it in "Weird Science" as I recall.

I am really gonna hate myself for saying this, but I actually cant see any reason to mock rex over this.

Although obviously, it all depends on how it works out....thats a whole different load of material there!

Since you decided to bring me into this, let me tell you what else I have:

1) Dropped 10 pounds in the last month

2) A girlfriend who will be my wife by the end of June

3) Money and time to do the things I enjoy

4) A house for the times I don't want to go out

5) Regular, satisfying, heterosexual sex

That's just off the top of my head. I'm sure I can come up with more. What's the magic number that'll make you eat a bullet?

The waiting is the hardest part.

a "couple months"?

geebus, rex. wasn't there an "expedited shipping" option?

says here they're california based, so even UPS ground shoulda been like two weeks tops

and, a hidden 6th bullet point

Mail order brides, I assume, are a slow process. They have to get all their shots, and then all the paperwork has to be in order. Hell, a passport here might take as many as two months to acquire. How long d'you think it'd take in some third world shithole country like, say, Hoboken or Rwanda?

Give the little gaylord a cigar!
Well played, Kamperdoodle!

Why, I oughtta...

pssst Joe, he was pointing out that you have hair.

Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Yeah. That.



Well played, Rober'.

Congrats!

LMFAO!!!

Wow, Snarf........ ......just run, dude....

Yeah!!

(Jeff and I say, a single tear we call Freedom quietly rolling from the corner of our eye...)

No, she just works with them. Probably one of the reasons she's attracted to me.

Look at it this way. You're in for a lot of ice cream, finger painting, and hugs.

Get you some, rex...

well done joe


im gonna crash the wedding as shonuff

ill bet all the other retarded kids think shes their girlfriend too...

Get you some, Knut!

I did over the weekend actually. gotta love the three day weekends

Three days of finger painting...well done!

Christ, dude, that makes me actually want to have a full ceremony instead of the quick, JP-style deal we're doing (after 10 years together, neither of us feels the need to have a big wedding, and a church wedding seems hypocritical as neither of us is religious).

Can you get ordained as a minister? I'd love to be married by Sho Nuff!

next week: knurkel hops a plane to vegas with life savings in hand, intent on realizing his dreams of starting his own wedding chapel...

Hilarity ensues.

Only on Fox.

Congratulations on the wedding, Joe. Be glad you skipping out on the full ceremony. My brother's wedding was a huge pain in the ass. Of course, it was two days after Christmas, so that didn't help....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ringer_(2005_film)

anal sex counts as sex. snarf isn't a virgin anymore.

shit!

2 asians, 1 cup!