It doesn't look like my wife's car enjoyed it. The car was seriously humped on the rear back fender.

It presently looks like a half-opened sardine can.

I was supposed to drive some distance to a client meeting today in my wife's car but I've skipped that. I think the police might have something to say about its roadworthiness.

This is not a bad thing as my wife's car is a Honda Jazz. It looks like a small purse. Or maybe a toaster. I feel like my masculinity withers everytime I put my foot on the accelerator and hear the meek whirr of the engine.

As my client is based in an industrial area I'm concerned that by driving such a girly car I'm asking for my manhood to be challenged by burly sheet metal workers, heckling things like, "Hey mate, leave your balls in your other car?" and "Want some help putting on your lipstick, prettty boy?"

So perhaps the car humping is not a bad thing.

How much did you pay the other driver to wreck your wife's car so you didn't have to drive it?

If the guy was Asian, he only needed to treat him to a bowl of noodles, and to give him face next time they meet.

That's what SoM charges me.

Dave was your wife injured?

She was unconscious.

...that is to say, asleep in our house. Car was parked on the street.