Dating and racism...

RKMBs

Does purposely NOT dating outside one's own race (or purposely not dating people of a particular race) make that person a racist?

Discuss.

Wouldn't that depend on what the individual's motivation for not dating outside their race was?

I'm really only attracted to white boys....Does that make me racist? I don't dislike people of other colours, and have freinds all over the spectrum....but I'm not attracted to others.

I don't think not fucking someone makes you racist. You can't help what pops your cherry.

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harleykwin said:
Wouldn't that depend on what the individual's motivation for not dating outside their race was?

Well, if the person is purposely not dating people outside their race (or people of a certain race) then I suppose we should assume that race is the issue.

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Wednesday said:
Well, if the person is purposely not dating people outside their race (or people of a certain race) then I suppose we should assume that race is the issue.

But does that make them a racist? You start dating someone who draws your eye...and one thing leads to another. If someone doesn't give off that spark for you, can that be called a deliberate action? Can it be slapped with a lable as harsh as 'racist'?

See, when I think of the word "racism" and all that word encompasses, I would think of someone who won't date outside of their race for all the ugly reasons behind what makes one a racist to begin with. So, if someone won't date a person solely because of their skin color and has all the feelings that go along with racism, then yes, they are probably racist. But going on what klinton said, if one is attracted to a certain type then how can that be considered racism? People like what they like.

If a person doesn't date a certain race because of hate, then it's racism.

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klinton said:
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Wednesday said:
Well, if the person is purposely not dating people outside their race (or people of a certain race) then I suppose we should assume that race is the issue.

But does that make them a racist? You start dating someone who draws your eye...and one thing leads to another. If someone doesn't give off that spark for you, can that be called a deliberate action? Can it be slapped with a lable as harsh as 'racist'?

I'm not saying it is or isn't. I'll probably take up the view holding the least amount of support, though, just because I like playing Devil's Advocate and it keeps the convo going.

My brother has said on several occasions that he's never dated a black woman because he's never met one that he found attractive. But his circle of friends, male and female, comes from almost every race. I've never dated a woman outside my own race and/or religion - I've just never had the opportunity. Would I? Absolutely.

Do I think that one's dating perspective can be racially guided? Sure. But so can one's weight preference. So can one's need for intelligence. Or a certain hair color. Or a certain body of interests. I don't think one can be considered racist because of one's dating preference. That seems too narrow. Racism is a worldview - it's a belief that one race is inherently inferior in all aspects. Just because you may not find Asians attractive doesn't make you racist. But if you find Asians inferior to you, well then...

I've dated some black,some asian & some American Indian females......believe you me,it's ALL good!!A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman,regardless of race.

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Wednesday said:
Does purposely NOT dating outside one's own race (or purposely not dating people of a particular race) make that person a racist?

Discuss.

i dont think it does

I'd say not dating outside you race is not racist.
Not being attracted to someone because of skin colour,shape of eyes or nose etc,is no different to not being attracted to someone because they are fat or too skinny.
You can only be attracted to what attracts you.
If you dont find dark skin attractive,then thats your thing!

Now,if you dont wanna be friends with someone because of race,then thats racist!

My personal thing is that I dont tend to be attracted to black women,or Indian asians for example,but am quite often attracted to oriental asians & sometimes hispanic women as well.
That said,I will usually be attracted to more white women than anything else.

My wife is Dutch/Asian/Spanish/Jew and may also be part black. I've covered most of the bases.

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Nowhereman said:
I'd say not dating outside you race is not racist.
Not being attracted to someone because of skin colour,shape of eyes or nose etc,is no different to not being attracted to someone because they are fat or too skinny.
You can only be attracted to what attracts you.
If you dont find dark skin attractive,then thats your thing!

Now,if you dont wanna be friends with someone because of race,then thats racist!

My personal thing is that I dont tend to be attracted to black women,or Indian asians for example,but am quite often attracted to oriental asians & sometimes hispanic women as well.
That said,I will usually be attracted to more white women than anything else.

i totally agree.
personally i prefer indian, hispanic and white women, add black in there for men, i avoid asians and some of middle eastern decent all together.

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Joe Mama said:
Racism is a worldview - it's a belief that one race is inherently inferior in all aspects.

Sneaky aint down wit da brown. Aint that some bullshit.
I'm pretty open minded. But I really do like fucking cracker bitches.

I don't think most people who don't like dating outside their own race are racist as such....

Limited perhaps?

What about the opposite? What if you think women (or men) of one "race" (for example people from Asea) are more sexy than women (or men) from other "races"?

i always thought i sounded racist when i would say i never found black men attrative. now i think asian men are, diffeantly white. i think as long as you have nothing against the color of there skin for one reason or another then its not being racist. i mean sometimes there are just that one person you cant get along with no matter what, but thats not being racist either just persoanlity conficting. i think most of you have put it better.

thats a very good question wednesday

Race is just another thing you may or may not find attractive about someone. At one time or another I have found most races attractive. The only problem I've had is some cultures are assbackwards in the way they treat women, which makes it impossible to date certain women from those cutlures.

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klinton said:
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Wednesday said:
Well, if the person is purposely not dating people outside their race (or people of a certain race) then I suppose we should assume that race is the issue.

But does that make them a racist? You start dating someone who draws your eye...and one thing leads to another. If someone doesn't give off that spark for you, can that be called a deliberate action? Can it be slapped with a lable as harsh as 'racist'?

Is racism always deliberate? I'd say no.

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harleykwin said:
See, when I think of the word "racism" and all that word encompasses, I would think of someone who won't date outside of their race for all the ugly reasons behind what makes one a racist to begin with. So, if someone won't date a person solely because of their skin color and has all the feelings that go along with racism, then yes, they are probably racist. But going on what klinton said, if one is attracted to a certain type then how can that be considered racism? People like what they like.

But maybe you're basing that on an incorrect assumption. I mean, who's to say that all racism is ugly. Perhaps, this is an example of racism that isn't necessarily so.

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The Watcher said:
If a person doesn't date a certain race because of hate, then it's racism.

Obviously, but is all racism based on hate? Again, I'd argue no.

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Joe Mama said:
I don't think one can be considered racist because of one's dating preference. That seems too narrow. Racism is a worldview - it's a belief that one race is inherently inferior in all aspects.

Or maybe it's your definition of racism that's narrow.

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Wednesday said:
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Joe Mama said:
I don't think one can be considered racist because of one's dating preference. That seems too narrow. Racism is a worldview - it's a belief that one race is inherently inferior in all aspects.

Or maybe it's your definition of racism that's narrow.

No, my posted definition of racism is short. Given time, and inclination, I could give a longer, more wordy, definition of the term. But to assign racism to dating is narrower than assigning it to a worldview - which includes but does not exclusively refer to dating.

Or maybe you're playing Devil's Advocate to further the discussion, which is your perogative. Have you discovered whether or not air is tangible?

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Joe Mama said:
No, my posted definition of racism is short. Given time, and inclination, I could give a longer, more wordy, definition of the term. But to assign racism to dating is narrower than assigning it to a worldview - which includes but does not exclusively refer to dating.

What?

If anything, assigning racism to dating in addition to all the other things we associate it with would only broaden its scope. What I'm getting at is this:

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Joe Mama said:
...it's a belief that one race is inherently inferior in all aspects.

I say THAT'S too narrow. It's more than just the belief that one race is inherently inferior in all aspects. There's a lot more to racism than that.

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Joe Mama said:
Or maybe you're playing Devil's Advocate to further the discussion, which is your perogative. Have you discovered whether or not air is tangible?

Oh, I already know the answer to that one. There's no solid argument against the tangibility of air. That's just fact.

Get it? SOLID argument!

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Wednesday said:
If anything, assigning racism to dating in addition to all the other things we associate it with would only broaden its scope.

Dating + "all the other things we associate it with" = worldview.

When I say "worldview", I'm not talking about this group of people or that country's citizens. I'm talking about how we, as person and as people, view our personal worlds and the world at large. My life experiences and upbringing create a different worldview from yours. They may overlap, and they may differ.

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What I'm getting at is this:

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Joe Mama said:
...it's a belief that one race is inherently inferior in all aspects.

I say THAT'S too narrow. It's more than just the belief that one race is inherently inferior in all aspects. There's a lot more to racism than that.

Again, I defined the term with an eye for brevity. As it's a discussion that you're leading, why don't you define the term and we can discuss the question of "dating and racism" from there. Very Socratic, methinks.

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Oh, I already know the answer to that one. There's no solid argument against the tangibility of air. That's just fact.

Get it? SOLID argument!

Ugh. Bad joke, Wednesday. No "wakka wakka" for you. Though I do have a gift to give you in my "10,000th Post Celebration" thread.

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Joe Mama said:
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Wednesday said:
If anything, assigning racism to dating in addition to all the other things we associate it with would only broaden its scope.

Dating + "all the other things we associate it with" = worldview.

When I say "worldview", I'm not talking about this group of people or that country's citizens. I'm talking about how we, as person and as people, view our personal worlds and the world at large. My life experiences and upbringing create a different worldview from yours. They may overlap, and they may differ.

You lost me at hello.

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Joe Mama said:
Again, I defined the term with an eye for brevity. As it's a discussion that you're leading, why don't you define the term and we can discuss the question of "dating and racism" from there. Very Socratic, methinks.

Okay.

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Joe Mama said:
Ugh. Bad joke, Wednesday. No "wakka wakka" for you. Though I do have a gift to give you in my "10,000th Post Celebration" thread.

Yay!

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Merriam-Webster Online said:

Main Entry: rac·ism
Pronunciation: 'rA-"si-z&m also -"shi-
Function: noun
1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race
2 : racial prejudice or discrimination
- rac·ist /-sist also -shist/ noun or adjective

Definition 1 follows the definition Joe and a few others gave. The belief that one race is inherently superior to another is racism.

However, definition 2 says racism is also "racial prejudice or discrimination." Now, if I say I won't date someone because she is white, then I'm exhibiting racial prejudice AND discrimination in my choice not to date her, right?

I understand how you are discriminating against white girls, but how are you exhibiting racial prejudice?

Hmm... Is it "an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge"? I suppose that's case by case. But it's definitely "a preconceived preference or idea."

I know I'm not racist in the slightest. How can I be when I'm so fucking MIXED?! But these girls, man... they find out I'm part this or that, and their personalities change like THAT. The strangest thing. Especially coming from such a "liberal" state as California. It's usually the Asian ethnicity. But I think that the girls' reactions are mostly familial-based; it's learned from an early age within most Asian families I've observed and known that they would prefer (with great influence and admonishment) the kids to stay within their own ethnicity. Kinda xenophobic and kinda moronic.

Black Girls... they're just fuckin' rude and snobbish to me.

Jewish Girls liked me for a while. Until I cut my locks.

Aussies? Brutal. Germans? Stoic. French? Pretentious. Jamaicans? Too much cheeba. Cookie Cutter American Whitegirls are pretty much the safe bet.