There you go.

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for rexy, the human shit stain!

See you tomorrow, rexy.

Zzap!

I feel so special

http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

That girl could be my TWIN! Fo shizzle.


P.S.-When DID you get your dick surgically removed?

P.S.S-Do you miss him?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=




http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=






http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=






http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=






http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=






http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

uhk,ffukvuhkvkvhkvhkvhkyjsdystd7yifotpd7yizuzxtuofofudizedt

That's my second cousin's name!

My second cousins name is mildred, that's her picture above!

Oh, almost forgot

http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Thank Gob you remembered! Your posts aren't the same without the broken youtube links.

If you look in my sig, you can watch the vids



http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Wha? I only see

http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

That's strange,I see a baby tiger learning to potty and a bunch of savages dancing? I'll check again

http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

And now there's nothing.

Well I can see it.

:/

Well if you wanna see the vids, here

http://youtube.com/watch?v=f
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_sdsd





http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Why is his pee blue? That can't be healthy.

You mean your pee isn't blue? You'd better get that checked out?



http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

I can't be arsed?

No seriously, urine is by nature blue. You seriously need to check that out, maybe get some more antifreeze in your diet.



http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

wait this...this isnt a shrine at all!!

Thanks for the advice! I'm glad you're staying here, we didn't have a urine expert.

Urologist


http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

No, I'm Mxy.

no youre not.

a little louder please?

Loud enough? Hardcore name BTW!


http://youtube.com/watch?v=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

show tit!

Ehh...I'm going to need a little bit more worshiping before that, darling.

WE WANT T3H B00BZ.

More begging damn it! I want to smell the desperation!

SNARF!

but I'm not desperate.

just curious. I bet five dollars that my tits are bigger.

p.s. - if Llance offers that bet, DO NOT TAKE IT.

you are probably going to lose five dollars, uschi. I'm just trying to save you a fiver here.

but I have giant tiattay.

AND have shown PROOF of said giant tittay.

Lol, its not always the size that counts...but the quality. Wanna squeeze them?

that'd be nice. not as nice as my dearest Kwink's, though. Her's are top Q. High class. Black taxi tittays.

This is now one of the better threads I've started. You girls have the potential to make it the greatest.

Oh rexy my darling...you get Eskimo kisses for starting this thread.

I finally did the same thing. Fucking images got annoying real quick.

Intriguing....

Rob, thank you for reminding me what's important in life.

http://www.adblockpro.com/

I got that a week after BallonKnot registered.

Firefox doesn't do anything like that? Seriously, can't we just kill bionic redneck? No one would miss him.

Jeremy, if you kill a person, that would make you almost as bad a rex.

almost.

though its on par with the nazi's

hahaha

the SS makes it funny!

everyone please pay attention to the details, and then raise a hand in salute to the basams!

drzsmith. 12-31-05

bump for moar tit pics.

We want the boobs!

awww, look at'em. poor lil guy.

c'mon, mocha. for snarf!

You want more already? They aren't THAT marvelous!

For Snarf or for YOU Bobbert? Lol

for the good of the people, damnit.

Bobbert...Im just going to need you to admit you want to see my boobs.

don't i already give off that odor?

Bobbert. Im gonna need you to say it. In fact, Im gonna need you to just come out and admit that you are completely crushing on me. Its better for all of us.

are there boobies at the end of this?

what are the terms on the table.

do it rob. for the sake of the boards.

Lol, you never know what is at the end of this. That would be telling. Don't make me bring out the bull whip.

so there could be murder at the end of this, thats what you're saying. my murder?

Quite possibly. If you don't answer me. Meow.

that would make her better than rex...

potential murder if i don't answer. potential murder if i do answer.

huh.

and what of the boobies?

potential boobies if i do answer ... is there potential boobies if i don't answer?

No...the boobies will be gone forever if you don't answer. And THAT might start havoc on your boards, Bobbert.

damn you, minx!

you will show us said boobies, and you will love doing so!

and we'll love you doing so also!

Not until you saaaaay what you need to saaaaaaaay.

sorry. robs a little busy reading some of the long ass post that zzap and w&c left in the random chat area. youll have to bear with him...

Rob can make time for me. I'm more important. Right Bobbert?

boobs always come before war. they helped us to enjoy one of the more peaceful times around here just a few days ago...

i forget what im sposda say here. isn't the command "reveal to me your mounds of happy?"

Score! I win. Maybe I will be nice and put another boob shot up.

that is what the boards collectively ask of you

yeah. shes already fitting in...

every male and female here. and those insurgent chaps probably too

Well, I still didn't see Bobbert say it.

boobies are on the line and rob is fucking up...

i said the reveal! happy joy mounds! its just a few posts up.

Lol...no no no, you're getting it all wrong. I want you to admit that you would beg to see my ta-ta's...and then actually beg. And then admit your huge forum boner for me.

Forgive Kampy. He's an engaged homer-sexual. He's uncertain of how to ask what you're asking of him.

hahah you said huge.

wait--!

there will be no begging. lots of "show them now"s, sure. maybe even some "seriously, SHOW THEM NOW"s. but no begging.



see, really, its snarf that i'm asking for.

lookit'em, mocha. LOOKIT'EM!

the man needs to see boob. its like walking past a dying man, and you've got the medicine. its inhumane.

There. He said it.

wow, i haven't throat punched in years.

excellent reference, snarf.

Quite. Now, make with the begging.

rob. dont fail...snarf is counting on you

Post edit!

See now Bobbert...you've gone and pissed me off. Begging is required. Or I bring out the bull whip...and put away my boobies. I'm won't even DARE to take pictures of me in a Power Girl costume. Hmph!

... You have a Power Girl costume?

you shoulda said batgirl costume. that would work better with rob.

oh lord...

Mochahontas User does the body good
25+ posts 06/13/08 11:56 PM Viewing a private message

damn snarf you didnt waste any time after that powergirl post...

Quiet, knurkel! Or I'll serve you up a knuckle sammitch! Super-Sized, even!

Wasn't me. Maybe Bobo finally broke down and begged.

Lol, no I don't actually have one, but I have to make a superhero costume for work for a party. Sammitch however refuses to consider any other option other than Power Girl for me.

do you see mocha? this is why we try to help the man. please dont leave him in the cold.

you have the knut and the ksnarf for begging pleasures. i am but a mere observer and occasional command deliverer.

That's King Snarf, Kampy.

meh. shell show em or she wont. if she doesnt im sure i can find some place on the intraweb that has boobies...hmmmm....

You mean to say the internet is full of smut?!? Goodness gracious, I hadn't the foggiest!

*Rolls eyes*



Happy now fuckers?

It's a start....

hot, boobs, and attitude, like a superheroine from the 90s.

well played, mocha.

Or like Wonder Woman during the feminist movement where suddenly she's wearing a dumb white outfit and she's lost all of her powers.

No one takes away my Lasso of Truth.

Well, now I know whose face I'm masturbating to this week.


Chapter I

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In October, 1805, a Russian army was occupying the villages and towns of the Archduchy of Austria, and yet other regiments freshly arriving from Russia were settling near the fortress of Braunau and burdening the inhabitants on whom they were quartered. Braunau was the headquarters of the commander-in-chief, Kutuzov.

On October 11, 1805, one of the infantry regiments that had just reached Braunau had halted half a mile from the town, waiting to be inspected by the commander in chief. Despite the un-Russian appearance of the locality and surroundings- fruit gardens, stone fences, tiled roofs, and hills in the distance- and despite the fact that the inhabitants (who gazed with curiosity at the soldiers) were not Russians, the regiment had just the appearance of any Russian regiment preparing for an inspection anywhere in the heart of Russia.

On the evening of the last day's march an order had been received that the commander in chief would inspect the regiment on the march. Though the words of the order were not clear to the regimental commander, and the question arose whether the troops were to be in marching order or not, it was decided at a consultation between the battalion commanders to present the regiment in parade order, on the principle that it is always better to "bow too low than not bow low enough." So the soldiers, after a twenty-mile march, were kept mending and cleaning all night long without closing their eyes, while the adjutants and company commanders calculated and reckoned, and by morning the regiment- instead of the straggling, disorderly crowd it had been on its last march the day before- presented a well-ordered array of two thousand men each of whom knew his place and his duty, had every button and every strap in place, and shone with cleanliness. And not only externally was all in order, but had it pleased the commander in chief to look under the uniforms he would have found on every man a clean shirt, and in every knapsack the appointed number of articles, "awl, soap, and all," as the soldiers say. There was only one circumstance concerning which no one could be at ease. It was the state of the soldiers' boots. More than half the men's boots were in holes. But this defect was not due to any fault of the regimental commander, for in spite of repeated demands boots had not been issued by the Austrian commissariat, and the regiment had marched some seven hundred miles.

The commander of the regiment was an elderly, choleric, stout, and thick-set general with grizzled eyebrows and whiskers, and wider from chest to back than across the shoulders. He had on a brand-new uniform showing the creases where it had been folded and thick gold epaulettes which seemed to stand rather than lie down on his massive shoulders. He had the air of a man happily performing one of the most solemn duties of his life. He walked about in front of the line and at every step pulled himself up, slightly arching his back. It was plain that the commander admired his regiment, rejoiced in it, and that his whole mind was engrossed by it, yet his strut seemed to indicate that, besides military matters, social interests and the fair sex occupied no small part of his thoughts.

"Well, Michael Mitrich, sir?" he said, addressing one of the battalion commanders who smilingly pressed forward (it was plain that they both felt happy). "We had our hands full last night. However, I think the regiment is not a bad one, eh?"

The battalion commander perceived the jovial irony and laughed.

"It would not be turned off the field even on the Tsaritsin Meadow."

"What?" asked the commander.

At that moment, on the road from the town on which signalers had been posted, two men appeared on horse back. They were an aide-decamp followed by a Cossack.

The aide-de-camp was sent to confirm the order which had not been clearly worded the day before, namely, that the commander in chief wished to see the regiment just in the state in which it had been on the march: in their greatcoats, and packs, and without any preparation whatever.

A member of the Hofkriegsrath from Vienna had come to Kutuzov the day before with proposals and demands for him to join up with the army of the Archduke Ferdinand and Mack, and Kutuzov, not considering this junction advisable, meant, among other arguments in support of his view, to show the Austrian general the wretched state in which the troops arrived from Russia. With this object he intended to meet the regiment; so the worse the condition it was in, the better pleased the commander in chief would be. Though the aide-de-camp did not know these circumstances, he nevertheless delivered the definite order that the men should be in their greatcoats and in marching order, and that the commander in chief would otherwise be dissatisfied. On hearing this the regimental commander hung his head, silently shrugged his shoulders, and spread out his arms with a choleric gesture.

"A fine mess we've made of it!" he remarked.

"There now! Didn't I tell you, Michael Mitrich, that if it was said 'on the march' it meant in greatcoats?" said he reproachfully to the battalion commander. "Oh, my God!" he added, stepping resolutely forward. "Company commanders!" he shouted in a voice accustomed to command. "Sergeants major!... How soon will he be here?" he asked the aide-de-camp with a respectful politeness evidently relating to the personage he was referring to.

"In an hour's time, I should say."

"Shall we have time to change clothes?"

"I don't know, General...."

The regimental commander, going up to the line himself, ordered the soldiers to change into their greatcoats. The company commanders ran off to their companies, the sergeants major began bustling (the greatcoats were not in very good condition), and instantly the squares that had up to then been in regular order and silent began to sway and stretch and hum with voices. On all sides soldiers were running to and fro, throwing up their knapsacks with a jerk of their shoulders and pulling the straps over their heads, unstrapping their overcoats and drawing the sleeves on with upraised arms.

In half an hour all was again in order, only the squares had become gray instead of black. The regimental commander walked with his jerky steps to the front of the regiment and examined it from a distance.

"Whatever is this? This!" he shouted and stood still. "Commander of the third company!"

"Commander of the third company wanted by the general!... commander to the general... third company to the commander." The words passed along the lines and an adjutant ran to look for the missing officer.

When the eager but misrepeated words had reached their destination in a cry of: "The general to the third company," the missing officer appeared from behind his company and, though he was a middle-aged man and not in the habit of running, trotted awkwardly stumbling on his toes toward the general. The captain's face showed the uneasiness of a schoolboy who is told to repeat a lesson he has not learned. Spots appeared on his nose, the redness of which was evidently due to intemperance, and his mouth twitched nervously. The general looked the captain up and down as he came up panting, slackening his pace as he approached.

"You will soon be dressing your men in petticoats! What is this?" shouted the regimental commander, thrusting forward his jaw and pointing at a soldier in the ranks of the third company in a greatcoat of bluish cloth, which contrasted with the others. "What have you been after? The commander in chief is expected and you leave your place? Eh? I'll teach you to dress the men in fancy coats for a parade.... Eh...?"

The commander of the company, with his eyes fixed on his superior, pressed two fingers more and more rigidly to his cap, as if in this pressure lay his only hope of salvation.

"Well, why don't you speak? Whom have you got there dressed up as a Hungarian?" said the commander with an austere gibe.

"Your excellency..."

"Well, your excellency, what? Your excellency! But what about your excellency?... nobody knows."

"Your excellency, it's the officer Dolokhov, who has been reduced to the ranks," said the captain softly.

"Well? Has he been degraded into a field marshal, or into a soldier? If a soldier, he should be dressed in regulation uniform like the others."

"Your excellency, you gave him leave yourself, on the march."

"Gave him leave? Leave? That's just like you young men," said the regimental commander cooling down a little. "Leave indeed.... One says a word to you and you... What?" he added with renewed irritation, "I beg you to dress your men decently."

And the commander, turning to look at the adjutant, directed his jerky steps down the line. He was evidently pleased at his own display of anger and walking up to the regiment wished to find a further excuse for wrath. Having snapped at an officer for an unpolished badge, at another because his line was not straight, he reached the third company.

"H-o-o-w are you standing? Where's your leg? Your leg?" shouted the commander with a tone of suffering in his voice, while there were still five men between him and Dolokhov with his bluish-gray uniform.

Dolokhov slowly straightened his bent knee, looking straight with his clear, insolent eyes in the general's face.

"Why a blue coat? Off with it... Sergeant major! Change his coat... the ras..." he did not finish.

"General, I must obey orders, but I am not bound to endure..." Dolokhov hurriedly interrupted.

"No talking in the ranks!... No talking, no talking!"

"Not bound to endure insults," Dolokhov concluded in loud, ringing tones.

The eyes of the general and the soldier met. The general became silent, angrily pulling down his tight scarf.

"I request you to have the goodness to change your coat," he said as he turned away.

comics + boobs= win

Yup.you can always click the post and see what they have to say with the tard sigs.

http://adblockplus.org/en/

Welcome to the boards Ms Mochahontas. If you ever get tired of Sammitch and decide you want a forty year old broke dentally challenged slightly balding over weight white male...than I'm your guy. Otherwise stay with Phil Sandwich.

Now why that offer sounds SO tempting...I just can't seem to pull myself away from Philliam quite yet. But man oh man. If he fucks up, you'll be the first one I call.

Only if you have a hairy back that I can shave though.



Haven't you figured it out yet? I'm kind of awesome K-nut, silly rabbit.

1. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little

2. If you're only masturbating to my face...I'd check and see if you're gay or not. Just saying.

he's an insurgent, he's gotta be gay.....

it's a b00bie trap!

Hah, that just reminded me of that kid off of the Goonies. Booty Twap.

does that earn me a private tickle?

As a matter of fact, YES. Don't forget the ball gag.

well, I get to be the dom, right? and... you don't actually UNDERSTAND German, yes? It's better if you don't understand.

Lets take TURNS being the Dom. Phil gets scared when I whip him too hard. I have to get that aggression out SOMEWHERE.

oh, I'm not saying I don't like to get hurt, I'm just saying I get a boner making people do things.

indeed.

Just as long as you know, darling!

sammitch, I salute you

In his pants!

added to the shrine...

Thanks for the mammaries!

yeah. good times...

if a dork like me can land a ridiculously hot chick like her, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

um...i dont. but thanks?

What can I say? I've got a huge thing for dorky white guys who like to role play LOTR with me during sex.

you and rob share similar interests!

Thats what I've heard.

we both love basams!

IN HIS ASS!

Awwww Bobbert, I love you in your ass too

then you truly are an official poster here

Hell, I thought I was an official poster the moment I showed my ta-tas.

You haven't shown them yet.

Ok, forgive...I thought I became an official poster the moment I showed my cleavage!

That made you a double secret probationary poster.

shes got a long way to go...

Nah, you guys adore me too much to make me work for it! I will just cut a few corners.

I say we put it to a vote. All in favor of making her work for it (meaning showing us many, MANY boobie photos), say aye.








AYE!

Awwww don't be mean!

you actually read what snarf posts?

Don't be jealous, Sammie :-P

oh, if only we were all whiny, hairless karaoke addicts in hawaiian shirts!

point made.

Snarf gonna steal your woman,Sammitch. Or is Blossom the one your poking.

Oh no, Im the one he's banging...I'm more than enough woman for him

And that's why he's jealous.

Yellow Blossum innocent User I'm delightful
400+ posts 06/17/08 11:13 AM Reading a post
Forum: Women
Thread: A shrine for Mochahontas

After the pic with you and Sammitch sorry for saying you weren't real. You're just so girly!

VERY "girly..."

and i might add: DAYUM!!!

ps. please tell me you have a twin that goes for black dudes...

I've got a split personality! Her name is Boniva! That's swahili for trash can.

I like...your wallpainting. *blush*

Zowie...

yeah. thatll work...

i wonder what wankys gonna say about this...?

thank you, blossom my love! I painted it myself...mwah hahahahahahahah!

Nothing. That's a female. Tommy has no interest.

Okay, maybe he'll manage an, "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"

He's probably gonna do a whole lot of this .

Then he's probably gonna say I'm some altered image that all of you worked on. Then he'll probably wank while crying

to said altered photo. for shame wanky. for shame...

Show us the tits!!!

Show us the tits!!!

Show is the tits!!!

rex has a new desktop....... and sock.

Hotchie motchie!

very well boobied, mocha. you have received full approval.

there's some sorta mistake, though -- this copy has some annoying sign or something in front of them. please advise.

Oh I know! I can't seem to get rid of it...its some sort of camera glitch I think.....HELP!

JM has all video and photography rights. You'll need to go up to Hyde Park-Boston.

Hear that Philliam?!?! We're going to Boston!

Nice tits.

aweshome. I need all these caps and jerseys and stuff signed.

This is why you're my Executive Assistant and may move into my shed, Bunny.



I like both your attitudes!

Mocha's kewl. She may stay.

Mocha's ok and all that but I like my women a little whiter if you know what I mean.

I'm guessing more docile, too?

rohypnol is my friend y'all.

She has big muffins!

You must have very flat muffins. You sound bitter.

Hell yes! And I need more beeeeeeeans so I can toot!



Oh you know it has everything to do with my boobs.



I like my men how I like my coffee: ground up in a sack.

and COVERED IN BEES!

'amazing!'

nice tits!

Bah hahahah...Ciao!

Who do you think you are, the President of Burundi???

(If you get a chance to see his latest tour, do not hesitate - CATCH IT. I saw it opening night and it was fucking AWESHOME!!!)

You got to see him?!?!?!?!? I now officially freaking hate you. A lot. Yet love you at the same time...but only if you get me tickets. Because I wanna go see him. Pretty please?

I've seen him twice, actually. Your love-hate is delicious to me.

You know its not actual food right?

never stops him from trying though...

I'd eat her.

I'd eat Bunny.

Too bad Joe in no way means either of those statements in a sexual sense.

Lookit me, I'm Tommy!

You forgot to talk about how you have the moral high ground.

in case you need a visual reference to get in character:

Thanks, Sammitch.





Ta-dah!!!

Acting! GENIUS!!!

"acting!"

good job on the new chickie, Sammitch.

Hey G, this should be frontpaged. Mebbe with a line from a ZZ top song. Not that I'm telling you how to do your job and all...

You're forgetting...I'm a tranny supposedly!

And imaginary.

it's rally a dream come true for halo and whomod, mystical trannies!

King Snarf content User 7500+ posts Tue Jul 15 2008 12:24 AM Reading a post
Forum: Women
Thread: A shrine for Mochahontas

this "shrine" needs more pics. mocha, make it so!

she gave me about eight! nekkid in one, almost nekkid in most of the rest!

thats not helping this shrine out much is it? and how the hell do you always get pics of the other chicks on the boards?

I'm an artist, what can I say?

also, I'm smoother than the end of a fiber optic strand for a sonic arterial hard catheter. Which is, trust me I did it as a job for three days, pretty goddamn smooth.

Juche content User The Idea
few posts Fri May 15 2009 10:57 PM Reading a post
Forum: Women
Thread: A shrine for Mochahontas

Quit jacking off.

I can't believe this is real, that woman is of a species I assumed to be extinct a long time ago. The forum whore.

Actually, you should know better. Syd filled that role at multiple boards long before Mocha ever showed up.

I don't think Syd ever posted pics of herself of that calibre though. To type stuff is one thing, to put your boobs behind a piece of paper to post it on some Comic forum is a whole different thing.

Oh, yes, so different.

Sammitch, you ever find out if you really knocked this whore up?

Allegedly, it was a hoax. Allegedly.

Jealousy and bitterness are so unbecoming.

You were one of the guys who alleged it was a hoax!

Dont be a dumbass Snarf.

Well in that case allegedly, it was true. Allegedly.

You have no proof one way or the other, so stop being a bitter little prick because you thought you made a witty joke about Sammitch recently, only to find out you didnt know half as much as you though you did.

Did you get a little upset cause Sammitch didnt tell you personally?

He didnt alledge, he stated!

dumb fuck.

I'd let her piss in my bed if she would give me the last 1/4 of a blowjob!

- King Snarf