RKMBs
Posted By: Wonder Boy "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-18 5:26 AM
A new beginning !

In an effort to preserve some of the fun topics from the old DC boards (prior to the dismantlement of DC's infopop boards, and their replacement with new boards that went up a few days ago) I thought I'd attempt moving a few of those topics here, that would otherwise be lost.
I really wish I'd known how to save "Why don't superheroes have sex?" Part 1 (the best DC topic ever!), and Part 2.
Batwomanamy has told me between her and Tobor8, they've been able to somehow salvage much of the 38-page original topic.

I love the wide-ranging conversation of the first topic, which has continued through these (now four) topics, an online-coffee-shop type of atmosphere, which represents the absolute best of the DC Boards and its appeal for many of us.
A mixture of playful innuendo, discussion of sex as portrayed in comics, the roles of men and women in our culture, and how that is portrayed in comics, movies, television, and other popular culture, attitudes about religion and sex, and how those attitudes about religion and sex are portrayed in comics and other entertainment, playful anecdotes that border on fan-fiction, and much more.


Here is the first half of page 1 of the topic,"Why Don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 3, to get things rolling:


Quote:

NEW MEMBER,
posted October 09, 2001 09:19 PM:

.
Due to tech problems, pt 2's thread was dropped. Rob did say that it could be restarted.
So, without further ado...
.
--------------------
.

It's not JUST a message board , it's
also a way to stay in touch - proven 9/11/01.
.
not available, but if you'd leave a message at the tone...





Quote:

NEW MEMBER,
posted October 09, 2001 09:28 PM:

.
For this board, what is the purpose of sex?
There's, what, half a billion people in the U.S.? I'll give you that people know what sex is, but they have different priorities on what it's for.
.
Sharing intimate feelings or making babies
is not the same as "a physical hug" that says you're not alone or that you're not a failure.
.
For others that don't want to get involved, ok, just have physical stimulation for fun. (especially if you're a playboy or playgirl.)
.
These are just a few basics. But there are many different values to sex! It may simply come down to what is in each person's life and what do they need from it.
.

Could be a reason why they don't show super heroes having sex - they don't want to show how vunerable the hero is/could be. Look at how the JLA have changed in treating Batman since they found out he is Bruce Wayne.
The AWE is gone.





Quote:

SilentBobWooHoo,
posted October 09, 2001 09:30 PM:

.
There was plenty of lovin' in Mike Grell's Green Arrows...
.
------------------
.
R.I.P all who were lost in the attacks 9/11/01
.
~~~~~~~~~~~
.
Snooch To The Nooch

~Daniel~
.
Check out my page @ http://www.expage.com/taprootkid for Jay and Silent Bob quotes, comic quotes (upcoming), music stuff, and much more!!!

.
Originally Posted By JGoldman10...
"Yes, there are dozens of streetfighting cats and dogs I'm developing for and are going to be in "Tuffy and Bull", but shhhh! I don't want to give too much away!"
.
That's just too funny!






Quote:

batwoman,
posted October 10, 2001 01:39 AM

.
Aw come on! Bring back part 2!
I want to continue with part 2. That and I want a copy of it.






Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted October 10, 2001 01:06 PM

.
Quote:

Originally posted by batwoman:
Aw come on! Bring back part 2! I want to continue with part 2. That and I want a copy of it.





First pt 1 was so long, it was slowing down the service.
.
Now, part 2 had technical problems? OK, can I have dibbs on pt.4 ???
.
And, the last thing in part 2, was about Luke Cage and possible stereotyping.





Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted October 10, 2001 01:13 PM :


Quote:

Originally posted by TOBOR8:
.
First pt 1 was so long, it was slowing down the service. Now, part 2 had technical problems? OK, can I have dibbs on pt.4 ???



.
Correction, the last things in part 2 were:

  • Luke Cage and possible stereotyping
  • TV's Sheena having sex after identifying
    a condom [because she reads a lot ]








Quote:

batwoman,
posted October 11, 2001 01:39 AM :

.
I think it's a conspiracy. People want us to stop talking about sex and just talk about war. Although the two are very comic-related.
.
OK, there's a poll on the JLA board and I'll bring it here, since we talked about violence in the first part of this thread.
.
Do you think 9/11 should be brought into comic books? why or why not?






Quote:

Steven Utley,
posted October 11, 2001 07:16 AM:


batwoman, I know how you feel about sex before marriage, but what about war? Do you think people should wait until they're married to go into combat? Is extra-marital combat a sin? What about pre-martial sex? Set us straight, babe.





Quote:

Iron Sun,
posted October 11, 2001 10:22 AM:

.
It's a conspiracy all right, but not what you think. I revealed the truth about sex in comics and suddenly the thread disappeared. They just want to keep their dirty little secret to themselves.
.
------------------
.
GENERIC CLEVER QUOTE






Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted October 11, 2001 10:33 AM


.
Quote:

Originally posted by batwoman:
.
I think it's a conspiracy.
.
People want us to stop talking about sex and just talk about war. Although the two are very comic related. OK, there's a poll on the JLA board and I'll bring it here, since we talked about violence in the first part of this thread.
.
Do you think 9/11 should be brought into comic books? why or why not?





.
Yes, but at this point, it's going to have a whole different value, Batwoman.
.
In the midst of the War of the Worlds, and all the damage that was done (like Kansas),
an enemy regime sends terrorists to attack
the U.S.
.
It may be something where EVERYONE
calls for the Spectre to avenge the people
killed by the terrorists. If the Spectre refuses, anything might result.





Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted October 11, 2001 10:34 AM

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Iron Sun:
.
It's a conspiracy all right, but not what you think. I revealed the truth about sex in comics and suddenly the thread disappeared. They just want to keep their dirty little secret to themselves.




.
No, they'd simply sell more 1/2 size ad pages that way.






Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted October 11, 2001 01:32 PM:

.
DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS COVERED -no pt 1 or pt 2.
.
Image had "Superstar". A guy who absorbed the life energies people donated to him for his work.
He had a girlfriend who was using him to write a book about their affair.
.
I've got a question:
.
During the 1000 years Superman and Wonder Woman were in Asgard,
would she have wanted any sex with anyone at anytime besides the last night with Clark? I know we weren't shown, but would she have?
.
------------------
.
Be careful what you wish for: you might get it and then some !
.
"This is America. Just because you get more votes doesn't mean you win."

--X-Files 4/8/2001





Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted October 11, 2001 01:36 PM:

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Steven Utley:
.
batwoman, I know how you feel about sex before marriage, but what about war?
.
Do you think people should wait until they're married to go into combat? Is extra-marital combat a sin?
.
What about pre-martial sex?
.
Set us straight, babe.





Does doing it with your in-law count?






Quote:

Lildeath,
posted October 11, 2001 06:18 PM:

.
As usual, Mr. Utley, you rock.
.
I was forced to think, though, about how it's actually the opposite of the joke you were telling.
.
Think about it. When some sort of dangerous situation comes up, who is always considered the most expendable in the group? Unmarried men without children. "You can't throw yourself on the grenade, Bob, 'cause you've got a wife and kids! I'll do it, because women hate me and I'm sterile."
.
Superheroes seem to fall under this rule as well. In general, they're single and childless. Great lengths are often gone to in order to keep them this way, up to and including the most drastic and unfair measure of all, not allowing the poor suckers any nookie.
.
Is it because superheroes have to throw themselves on grenades?
.
------------------
.
Tom rose carefully, never drawing bead away from the surviving Gubru. "Drop your weapons belt and stand away from the transmitter. Slowly. Remember, we humans are wolflings. We are feral, carnivorous, and extremely fast! Do not make me eat you." He grinned his broadest grin to display a maximum of teeth.

--Startide Rising by David Brin



The conclusion of page 1 of the previous topic (part 3):



Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy,
posted October 21, 2001 03:00 AM

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Steven Utley:
.
batwoman, I know how you feel about sex before marriage, but what about war?
.
Do you think people should wait until they're married to go into combat?
Is extra-marital combat a sin?
What about pre-martial sex?
.
Set us straight, babe.



.

No war before marriage?
.
A guy has to live a little before he dies. He has to live, because he hasn't lived long enough to have a life yet.
.
And conversely, a guy with a wife and kids has too much to live for to die.
.
So who fights, who dies?






Quote:

Lildeath,
Member posted October 21, 2001 04:30 PM :

.

Practically speaking, however, the opposite argument could also be made, that men who have already sired children should be the ones to throw themselves on the grenades and go to war. They're the ones that have already contributed to the gene pool, after all.
Poor, virginal Private Bob, on the other hand, is only eighteen and hasn't made his contribution yet.
.
Now, somebody's gonna come up with some argument regarding survival of the fittest, and how war can be used as a tool to weed out the weak (I have super-hearing when it comes to people saying that ... I can hear it in New Jersey). Poppycock. The healthy kids get drafted and chewed up by tanks, the sick kids stay home and make babies. Violence as a method of natural selection is a failure, I'm afraid. Now somebody tell the cheerleaders.
.
Perhaps part of the problem is that we're obsessed with keeping our superheroes young. Even Superman and Batman are about the same age as the characters on Friends (and younger than the cast).
.
You would think, since most superheroes have powers that make them physically tougher than normal people, that the prime age for superheroing would be around the age of fifty or so. That's old enough to have raised a family. You've made your contribution to the gene pool, now you can out and risk your life more responsibly.
.
Y'see what I mean?
.
------------------
.
"Great Krypton! Allen Funt's caught me switching into my Superman uniform!"
-- the cover of Action Comics #345





Quote:

Iron Sun
Member posted October 21, 2001 09:57 PM:

.
Actually, Lildeath, in a way war is a natural selection against war.
Why?
.
The first people who go to the front lines are professional soldiers, namely those who want to fight to defend the country.
Next to go up are the young men who were drafted and were willing to fight.
.
Those who have strong beliefs against war will choose to be conscientious objectors. Namely they'll be given non-combat duty.
.
Finally, the ones left who will never go to war are the ones too sick to fight, or who are smart enough to figure a way around the draft but stay in the country.
And finally those who go to other countries to dodge the draft.
.
The bottom line is the ones most likely to be killed are those who are most likely to be involved in war.
And those least likely to die are those who avoid war at all costs.
.
Eventually we'll breed ourselves into pacifists.
.
------------------
.
GENERIC CLEVER QUOTE






Quote:

Steven Utley,
posted October 21, 2001 10:15 PM

.
In a world where wealth is equitably distributed, we'd all have daddies who could get us cushy duty.







Quote:


William A. Owens,
unregistered, posted October 21, 2001 11:26 PM:

.
Lois and Clark...
Kyle and Jade...
.
Pete and Mary-Jane...
.
Dick and Babs...
.
Bruce and Talia (They had a child in Son of the Demon)...
.
You just ain't payin' attention, Bub...






Quote:

JerichoFan,
posted October 21, 2001 11:54 PM

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Iron Sun:
The bottom line is the ones most likely to be killed are those who are most likely to be involved in war and those least likely to die are those who avoid war at all costs. Eventually we'll breed ourselves into pacifists.



.
Except that genes only code for proteins, not political beliefs, so we won't be able to breed ourselves into pacifists. We might be able to breed ourselves into weak, unhealthy mental midgets* because the (physically) strongest of our gene pool got killed off in a war, though. Not something I'd look forward to, personally.
.
(*based on your correct statement that most of those left out of the war, besides objectors, are those unfit for service, either mentally or physically.)





Quote:

Shazamgrrl,
posted October 22, 2001 12:06 AM

.
I was going to say something about Pt. 2's disappearance, but I'm in a reasonably good mood, so I won't.
There's a tiny bit of controversy on the Captain Marvel boards about whether or not Mary Marvel would still be a virgin if Mary Batson made love (and vice versa).
.
I still say that due to her unique nature (she rarely referred to her other form as "she"), if one got some, the other would also not be virgo intacto.
.
------------------
.
"Did she say "APPLESAUCE"?!"
-- Mr. Mind, The Incredible Sinking City
.
Join the Capt. Marvel Jr. Club at: http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/captainmarveljr and the Mary Marvel Club at: http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/marymarvel
.
Thanks for the dance, but I never French kiss on the first date.
-- Captain Marvel, from The Yucatan Adventure, by me.






Quote:

Lildeath,
Member posted October 22, 2001 02:22 AM:

.
For some screwy reason, I've been thinking a lot about martial arts lately.
Dunno why.
'Cause all this fighting's going on all the time? Maybe.
.
Anyway, there's one funny thing that everybody that's ever taught me anything on the subject of fighting seems to agree on. My dad, Sensei Kinion, Leighgion, my freaky Special Forces roommate ... sooner or later, they all mention the same thing.
.
The toughest people in the world, the ones who can basically splatter people at will, never fight. Ever.
.
At a certain level, every fight is considered a sign of weakness. Every confrontation is an admission of cowardice.
.
Trippy, huh? I still don't get it, really. Probably 'cause I don't think I'm getting to that level in this lifetime. In the chess game of life, I'm not even on the board.
.
Still, it's something to think about.
.
------------------
.
"Great Krypton! Allen Funt's caught me switching into my Superman uniform!"
-- the cover of Action Comics #345







Quote:

NeoMotion,
Member posted October 22, 2001 05:33 AM :

.
You see, this has always bothered me. HOW can Superman have sex?
.
1) He is alien, so God knows what the reaction would do to Lois. She might die delivering a freak mutant/monster or whatever it would be.
.
2) Being Superman, if he came, he would shoot his semen right through Lois.
.
So I do not see how that is possible. Any comments?
.
------------------
.
NeoMotion
.
"Sung in the cathedrals, whispered in the shadows...ever unchanging, seldom unchanged...bright incandescence, the black of the pit...
such is the stuff of Legends"

.







Quote:

Richey,
posted October 22, 2001 10:01 AM:


.
Kryptonite spermicide?
.
If he pulled out he would shoot holes in the wall! Bwaa-hah-haa!
.
Here's a good one - seeing as most (I think around 2 thirds) of American men of Supes' age are circumcised, how could they do that to him?
.
Even when he was a baby he was invulnerable, so the surgeon would never have been able to whip it off. So I guess Superman would be a Cavalier and not a Roundhead.







Quote:

Lildeath,
posted October 22, 2001 02:07 PM:

.
I can't speak for old continuity, but that was in a time that Superman wouldn't have been likely to be circumcised anyway.
In current continuity, Superman's powers didn't develop until he was older. Though his invulnerability seems to have been the first of his powers to appear, and was sufficient to keep him from being trampled to death by a charging bull at the age of six, he also managed to break his arm when he was about three or four, I think.
.
As for the business with Superman's high-pressure ejaculation, there's never been any evidence to indicate that this would be the case. He doesn't cause hurricanes every time he breathes, does he? Not unless he wants to, at any rate. His sweat doesn't go zinging out of his pores, does it?
.
It would appear that most of Superman's biological functions work pretty normal, albeit much better and more efficient than a normal person's.
.
Regarding the possibility of Superman and Lois having children, I would suspect that it wouldn't be possible without some sort of help. Fortunately, they have the Fortress of Solitude, created by the technology of a species that was obsessed with cloning and scientific reproduction. The Eradicator, who made the Fortress, is apparently obsessed with preserving Kryptonian life, and so must have a few schemes in mind for making more of it.
.
Also, I bet there's something in the birthing matrix that might help. Jor-El was a pretty smart guy, after all, and must've anticipated this problem coming up. No doubt, there's something in there that'll be of use.
.
------------------
.
"Great Krypton! Allen Funt's caught me switching into my Superman uniform!"
-- the cover of Action Comics #345





And that concludes page 1. The floor is open for comments.
Posted By: PJP Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-18 6:39 AM
The real reason why.......do you really want to know......huh.......do you.........Spandex stains very easily. [...rassamnfrackin...]
Posted By: profh0011 Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-22 11:19 PM
WHAT-- the teeny tiny font at the NEW DC boards was too big for you?? You had to go and copy a bleeding TON of text in an even SMALLER font??? You don't really expect people to read through all that, do you?? Huh, huh, HUH?????

But to answer the question... "Why don't super-heroes have sex?" Hmm. WHO SAYS they don't?


They sure as hell do in MY comic... [mwah hwah haa]
Of course super heroes have sex.

Just check out Adventures of Superman #505... and where do you think Lana's and Lucy's babies came from, the stork? :)

I do wonder how many heads exploded upon the realization that Lois and Clark had sex before getting married...
quote:
Originally posted by ManofTheAtom:
Of course super heroes have sex.

Just check out Adventures of Superman #505... and where do you think Lana's and Lucy's babies came from, the stork? :)

I do wonder how many heads exploded upon the realization that Lois and Clark had sex before getting married...

Really? Heh.
quote:
Originally posted by Dave:
Really? Heh.

I dare anyone to see Adventures of Superman #505 and not come to the conclusion that they had sex, lol.
quote:
Originally posted by ManofTheAtom:
quote:
Originally posted by Dave:
Really? Heh.

I dare anyone to see Adventures of Superman #505 and not come to the conclusion that they had sex, lol.
Did they have sex before or after he revealed his identity?
A whole thread devoted to asking why Super-Heroes don't do the nasty? Wonder Boy, you are one cutting edge mother-fucker for certain. And you're right: this thread does remind me of a pleasant coffee house chat--- I mean it's absolutely fucking uncanny! [wink]
quote:
Originally posted by Dave:
Did they have sex before or after he revealed his identity?

I don't remember if they ever had sex before Adventures 505 but it's clear that they did here and this took place after he revealed his secret ID.
Posted By: JASON TODD Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-23 11:40 PM
i just want to know if robin and spoiler are having sex, cause if they are i want in on it, a threesome all the way
quote:
Originally posted by JASON TODD:
i just want to know if robin and spoiler are having sex, cause if they are i want in on it, a threesome all the way

That would be necrophilia, lol.
Posted By: PJP Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-24 3:03 AM
I'm a Superhero....and I have sex. [biiiig grin]
Posted By: Lor Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-24 3:28 AM
The reason is probolly because of the following factors;

A: Their just to darn busy.

B: Its tireing saveing people all day, how the heck are they saposto have enough energy to do the bad thang

In short: Their to tired to. :)

C: Those who ware full body suits have trouble with the equipment and are afraid of the identy risk.

D: Cant find someone to score with, sad but it happens.

E: Those whome are married, dont have understand other halfs and are in the dog house alot. I mean alot!

F: and lastly, It's to dangerous. example: Cumming Superman and his SuperSpeeding "little supermen".

One word boys, Ouch. :)
Posted By: JASON TODD Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-24 10:29 AM
i would make love to robin and spoiler in our 3some...my god that would be heaven
quote:
Originally posted by JASON TODD:
i would make love to robin and spoiler in our 3some...my god that would be heaven

i have the hots for both of them lol and i would hate to chose one over the other, so i will take them both
Posted By: JASON TODD Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-26 12:06 AM
bump
Posted By: PJP Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-26 3:45 AM
[no no no]
Posted By: Wonder Boy Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-29 11:51 AM

 Quote:
Originally posted by profh0011:

WHAT-- the teeny tiny font at the NEW DC boards was too big for you?? You had to go and copy a bleeding TON of text in an even SMALLER font??? You don't really expect people to read through all that, do you?? Huh, huh, HUH?????

But to answer the question... "Why don't super-heroes have sex?" Hmm. WHO SAYS they don't?


They sure as hell do in MY comic... !


I changed my templates to the "old style/DC" Infopop screens that Rob set up for us, and also clicked "Hide Avatars", which VASTLY speeds up these boards for me.

With these changes, the visuals are virtually identical to the old (and much beloved) DC boards!!!!!!!!!!
(Thank you, Rob !)
I clicked "edit" for each of my posts above, and it re-posted them in the "old school-DC" format, which enlarged the text to a more desireable size.
The posts above where (for example, T-Dave's) that were posted in the non- "old school-DC" template still appear in the smaller text, as do exerpts quoted from them. But if these posters change to the DC-style template (in the >>VIEW/EDIT PROFILE<< screen) and then click EDIT and re-post these posts with no other changes, the text will automatically enlarge to the DC-format sized text, as mine did.

And did anyone who made the same template change and hide-avatar change I did notice the "RK MESSAGE BOARDS" logo in the upper left of the topic? Man, what a scream !
\:lol\:

Too funny, Rob !

I'm glad you're here, Profh.
You're consistently one of my favorite posters on the DC boards. You share my love for Silver Age fun and nostalgia. Along with India Ink, schatzie, Linastrick, Steven Utley, Lady Obie, Lllance43, Cave Carson, Ace Arn, The Anti Life Equation, Casselmm47, Carlo, BlackHawwk, Koppy McFad, Shazamgrrl, Steve Chung, Daytripper, Greene, ?, Old Dude, Dumas, TC, Positronic, Jack Frost, Aaron, Wayne1776, and many others who I hope will join us.

And also, Profh, please post a link to Amazon.com or wherever, for a link to where everyone can purchase your comic. You did this once on the previous DC boards, and if you post it here, it's good and appropriate, and the link will last a long time with this topic.




--------------------


"This Man, This Wonder Boy..."


I got so frustrated with the New DC Boards, when I got here, the first thing I did was set it up like the Old DC Boards. Honestly, these boards are an IMPROVEMENT on the Old DC Boards. That puts them at least 2 steps above in quality over the NEW DC Boards! (There's just no excuse for that kind of corporate blindness & stupidity.)

I still post at the New DC Boards, but only because the crowd & the interesting threads seem to have split up between the 2.

Thanks for the comments. I'll happily post, as long as you realize that while this is NOT a nasty book-- it's an EXTREMELY "naughty" one! My site has links to take you direct to my Amazon page, where most of the info is posted, and also has links to a few other stores currently selling it. The number should be increasing, as I recently signed with a distributor in Rhode Island who deals with adult book stores both here and in Europe!

http://www.webspawner.com/users/zodiaccomics/
Well, Reed and Sue Richards had Sex!!!
There's Proof!!!

Franklin Richards.
Posted By: Batwoman Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2003-05-31 4:12 AM
Let's not forget their daughter. Although after reading the issue where the last time she was pregnant and the baby died, I thought they'd never have any other kids. So I'm really lost on this one.


I think Bouncing Boy, married to Triplicate Girl, is the luckiest guy in the DC Universe.

Man, is that a superhero sex adventure waiting to be told !

Even having one of her selves killed off and becoming Duo Damsel (in the old Legion continuity) leaves him a pretty lucky guy.

I'd be bouncing off the walls too. \:lol\:



One has to think Sue Richards is one VERY happy lady, too...

..and the OTHER Sue, too-- Dibney, that is.

Ever think there's an alternate world where Mr. Fantastic & The Elongated Man live on the same planet, and their wives regularly meet for lunch to compare notes...??
...and speaking of Superheroes & sex, I've just updated my website! (Don't worry-- the ad's on the "clean" side for something as naughty as the book it promotes is!)

http://www.webspawner.com/users/zodiaccomics/
 Quote:
Originally posted by profh0011:
.
Ever think there's an alternate world where Mr. Fantastic, The Elongated Man live on the same planet, and their wives regularly meet for lunch to compare notes...??


Now THERE's a story waiting to be told !


In Silver Age stories, DC's couples are always meeting for lunch or dinner. That would be a fun expansion. It could be played well with innuendo, and still be a Silver-Age type story.
From "Why Don't Superheroes have sex?", Part 3,
the first half of page 2:

Quote:

batwoman,
posted October 22, 2001 11:07 PM:

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Lildeath:
.
"For some screwy reason, I've been thinking a lot about martial arts lately. Dunno why. 'Cause all this fighting's going on all the time? Maybe.
.
Anyway, there's one funny thing that everybody that's ever taught me anything on the subject of fighting seems to agree on.
My dad, Sensei Kinion, Leighgion, my freaky Special Forces roommate ... sooner or later, they all mention the same thing.
.
The toughest people in the world, the ones who can basically splatter people at will, never fight. Ever.
.
At a certain level, every fight is considered a sign of weakness. Every confrontation is an admission of cowardice.
.
Trippy, huh? I still don't get it, really. Probably 'cause I don't think I'm getting to that level in this lifetime. In the chess game of life, I'm not even on the board.
.
Still, it's something to think about."




.
You know, come to think of it, I can only think of one actual fight that one of the many martial artists I know was in. That was my older bro and that was only after 3 punks jumped him while he was in his car. Man, I wish I was there to see that, it was a good fight from what I've heard.
.
As to the comics aspect, how do you explain all the heroes that know martial arts and use them while in batlle? For that matter, what about, say, Lady Shiva? They use their fighting skills all the time, yet according to what you've said, that would make them cowards...






Quote:

Lildeath,
posted October 23, 2001 01:19 AM:

.
In Lady Shiva's case? Sure, no problem. She's a grown woman, a trained killer, challenging teenage girls to deathmatches. This is not exactly the height of courage, here.
Besides, I can't really say I understand the idea that well. Not even enough to express it properly. It's just been on my mind lately, y'know?
.
------------------
.
"Great Krypton! Allen Funt's caught me switching into my Superman uniform!"
-- the cover of Action Comics #345




Quote:


Iron Sun,
posted October 23, 2001 05:34 PM :

.
I understand the concept. Think about your typical bar fight. Its usually about 2 drunks trying to prove how they're "real" men.
.
The fear is not fear of the fight, but fear of seeming less in the eyes of your peers. You're afraid to look like a wimp, coward etc. so you fight. Its takes more bravery to walk away and not care if others think you're not strong than to get in the fight.

A true expert in fighting doesn't need to prove himself, but even more so, it takes courage and a certain higher level of thinking to walk away and not sink to the level of the one threatening you.






Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy,
posted October 27, 2001 12:51 AM :


.
Here are links to the previous incarnations of this thread:
.
Part 1:
http://dcboards.warnerbros.com/files/Forum94/HTML/005183-2.html
.
and
.
Part 2:
http://dcboards.warnerbros.com/files/Forum94/HTML/009504-2.html
.
[ ******* Links no longer active ******* ]








Quote:

batwoman,
Member posted October 27, 2001 12:54 AM:

.
Thanks Dave!





Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted October 30, 2001 07:57 PM:

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Dave the Wonder Boy:
.
"Here are links to the previous incarnations of this thread:
Part 1...
Part 2... "




.
Dave, how long did it take to find them?





Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy,
posted October 30, 2001 10:49 PM :

.
Not long at all.
.
I keep a composition notebook, and write down the threads I enjoy most, so I don't have to constantly go through endless pages of topics to find them.
.
I write them like this:
.
Superhero Sex thread, part 1
5183
.
Part 2
9504
.
All DC UNIVERSE/ODCU topics begin with: http://dcboards.warnerbros.com/files/Forum94/HTML/00----.html
.
In the last four blanks before [.html] at the end is the part that specifies the thread, and page of the thread. Plugging in [5183.html] takes you to page 1 of the first thread. Plugging in [5183-2.html] takes you directly to page 2 of the thread. Plugging in [5183-37.html] takes you directly to page 37. And so on. It's not hard.
.
If I don't write down a 4-digit thread number, it's a lot harder.
.
~
.
Getting back to sex, I think the current Dark Age of comics might open the door to a lot of wild and bizarre superhero sex, which has never really been explored in the 60-plus year history of superheroes.
.
I actually prefer half-baked tongue in cheek innuendo to a deep exploration of superhero sex, although in the right creative hands, it could be a fun or even thought provoking story idea.
.
Maybe a story with Sue Dibney or Sue Richards waking up with a very contented smile on their face, having their super-elastic husband step out of the next room in a silk robe with a breakfast tray, giving veiled reference to the satisfyingly wild and impossible contortions that went on the night before.
.
Brody's ramblings in Mallrats, about the Thing's thing, and Mr Fantastic's elastic endowment were questions that occurred to me, and I think most fans, from the time I began reading comics, almost 30 years ago.
.
But the mystery of these secrets, I think, are more intriguing than a fully realized story explaining them would be. "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" and Mallrats both seem to realize preserving a degree of mystery when answering these questions.






Quote:

batwoman,
posted October 30, 2001 11:04 PM :

.

What about all the innuendos that were made during Giffen's JLI? Now you've done it. I can't get that image out of my head. LOL That would be so funny.






Quote:

batwoman,
posted October 30, 2001 11:07 PM:

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Dave the Wonder Boy:
.
"I actually prefer half-baked tongue in cheek innuendo to a deep exploration of superhero sex, although in the right creative hands, it could be a fun or even thought provoking story idea. "




.
I agree.
.








Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted October 30, 2001 11:53 PM

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Dave the Wonder Boy:
.
"Not long at all.
I keep a composition notebook..."




.
Thank you, Dave.






Quote:

xdestroymyfivex,
posted October 31, 2001 01:03 AM:

.
I'm reminded of the armageddon superman annuals... i think maxima understood, beyond the genetic level, the need for metahumans and the like to have comparable levels of powers. how on earth could superman get any pleasure out of gettin' it on with lois if he can't exert himself?
or, yknow, wouldn't she get crushed or ripped to shreds at the conclusion of such a sexual episode? i'd really like to think otherwise but i just can't see it working...






Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy,
posted October 31, 2001 01:26 AM:

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Dave the Wonder Boy:
.
"Maybe a story with Sue Dibney or Sue Richards waking up with a very contented smile on their face, having their super-elastic husband step out of the next room in a silk robe with a breakfast tray, giving veiled reference to the satisfyingly wild and impossible contortions that went on the night before. "



.
Despite my saying it's better left unsaid, come on, admit it, we'd all like to see it attempted.
.
I doubt seriously it would live up to expectations, but would be fun to see it attempted.
.
Many undergrounds have done unofficial versions. I'd guess as explicit as they can do without getting sued.
.
I've never read CHERRY (the pornographic Archie spoof) but it's out there.
.
The best I've seen, as I said early in the first Sex Thread (Part 1), is XXXENOPHILE.
.
Another in the 1981 underground, ALIEN ENCOUNTERS, had a spoof by Mike Zeck of Superman's origin, where his parents were named Lyk-Ter and Klyt-Sor. But no sex.
.
I think anyone who messes with Superman's phallus is in for a super-duper legal castration.





Quote:


NEW MEMBER,
posted October 31, 2001 10:36 AM :

.
Ya know, I just thought of something a little different.
Let's say that a DC "Special Graphic" got the go ahead to include "real bedroom activity".
.
How would you want it accomplished?
A couple of panels? a couple of pages, or
much of the book?
.
Simple stuff or "evolution" in activity?
If it were Diana & Clark, her ripping off his clothes? Ripping off each others'?
.
Someday, it may happen (rrriigghhhtttt.).
If so, "instruct" your future writer/artist
on how you want it accomplished.






Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy,
posted October 31, 2001 02:16 PM :

.
An extremely graphic Graphic Novel.
.






Quote:

batwoman,
posted October 31, 2001 10:46 PM

.
LOL
.


From "Why Don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 3,
second half of page 2:

Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted November 01, 2001 07:26 PM:

.
Would that make this a BUMP, then Grind?






Quote:

TOBOR8
Member posted November 03, 2001 08:47 AM:

.
After 2 or 3 (?) threads, it seems that no one has anything else to say about why super-heroes don't have sex.
Is that good or bad ???




Quote:

Steven Utley,
posted November 03, 2001 01:31 PM

.
"Love walks out your door when money comes innuendo." -- Groucho Marx






Quote:

batwoman,
Member posted November 04, 2001 12:17 AM:


.
I think we have more to say about it, just that we're busy and tired to say anything right now.
.






Quote:

mxcorp,
posted November 04, 2001 03:40 AM

.
Ho-kay.. Why don't Super-heroes have sex?
.
I'm a virgin myself. I don't do it because I don't crave it, and I don't crave it because I don't do it. No temptation or any of that p****whipping penguin s*** to distract me from my job, my goals, and my collection.
.
I work my untainted booty off and I save my money in my own pocket, and it drives the gold diggers nuts that they can't do a damn thing about it! My baby sister was a pregnant teenager, she explained all the tricks to me.... besides, a woman can get herself killed that way.
.
What if a Super-hero is doing the same thing I am? Isn't that a tad bit reassuring? Or would you want the fate of the world resting on the shoulders of a Kryptonian who says "She's cute" every 5 seconds? Not me.
.
------------------
.

M: "You have vanquished my champion, slave! Now kill him and have the privilege of presenting to me his head!"
.
S: "My name, tyrant, is Superman-- and I DON'T KILL!"
.
M: "Your refusal leaves me no recourse but to kill you both myself!"
.
S: "I'm not afraid of you, Mongul! Come down from that throne of yours and face me one on one!"

.
(from Action Comics Annual #2, 1989)





Quote:

Lildeath,
posted November 04, 2001 03:16 PM :

.
Laudable, mxcorp. But when all the superheroes do that, it makes me lift my eyebrow like this.

~
.
------------------
.
They're off to find the hero of the day.
But what if they should fall by someone's wicked way?

-- Metallica, Hero of the Day






Quote:

Leah,
posted November 04, 2001 09:58 PM:

.
Quote:

Originally posted by Lildeath:
"Laudable, mxcorp. But when all the superheroes do that, it makes me lift my eyebrow like this.

~ "





*snork*

But I guess the question begs itself:
Are the characters not engaging in sexual activity, or are we readers just not privy to seeing it or (what we'd most likely see), the aftermath?
.
There are certain characters we know must be 'having relations', as the expression goes...any married character and their spouses, certainly.
.
By implication or 'showing aftermath' or discussion with other characters, there would be others. I think it's safe to say, for example, that Oliver and Dinah were sexually intimate over the course of their relationship. Dick and Kory (in that now infamous 'in bed the morning after' scene) were intimate. And can we say Huntress, anyone?
.
Roy Harper? He's got a child, so yes indeedy do. Was doing the horizontal two step with Donna just recently. Ladies love red-headed men, it seems...
.
Garth and Tula (before her untimely demise)? Not only by implication (as in the 'no swimsuit' scene in ToTT #50, at Donna Troy's wedding), but also in the TEMPEST mini series (issue #2) where there's a 'morning after' where it's quite apparent that they're not wearing anything (and I saw the preview copy of this and Phil had to add some coverings -- he had a scene of a reverse angle on Tula where she was clearly devoid of clothing clear down to her tuchas -- the printed version only shows her bare back to the waist), but there are several panels of Tula getting dressed. Now, Garth's married and has a child, so he fits into both categories.
.
Wally West? Married. Used to be TitanSleazeBoy. Definitely has had his share of bootilicious action.
.
Donna Troy? Married. Widowed. Had a child. Spent a few issues being a 'bad girl' with Roy, including an 'in bed' scene. Haul out the chastity belt.
.
(As I'm typing this, it really seems as if the Titans get more than their fair share o'good lovin' -- all the Originals are either
a) married, or have been...
b) have, or in the case of Donna, had a child, or
c) have been shown in a post-intimate moment sequence.)
.
Let's hear it for the younger generation!
.
Enough of the Legionnaires have been married, both with and without children, that I think it's safe to say that most of them don't have celibacy issues, either.
.
And I think virtually every member of the JLA through its various incarnations has either been involved a long term relationship, has been or is married and/or has or had a child(ren).
.
So, is the issue really 'Why don't superheroes have sex?' but 'Should we, the reader, be witness to them having it?'
.
Me, I can live without graphic scenes of characters being intimate. I do like the 'post (or even pre-) intimate scenes', and done well, can serve to enrich the characters' lives and how we perceive them. I think one of the reasons readers would like to see such scenes is because we like to see their lives outside of the 'spandex world'.
.
But maybe that's just me.
.
Leah







Quote:

Lildeath,
posted November 04, 2001 11:38 PM:

.
I'm not thinking they need to be terribly graphic. Just graphic enough that this discussion becomes moot, because we'll know the answer.
.
------------------
.

They're off to find the hero of the day.
But what if they should fall by someone's wicked way?

-- Metallica, Hero of the Day





Quote:

TOBOR8,
posted November 05, 2001 10:35 AM:


.
Quote:

Originally posted by Leah:
.
"But I guess the question begs itself: Are the characters not engaging in sexual activity, or are we readers just not privy to seeing it or (what we'd most likely see), the aftermath?
So, is the issue really 'Why don't superheroes have sex?' but 'Should we, the reader, be witness to them having it?'
.
Me, I can live without graphic scenes of characters being intimate. I do like the 'post (or even pre-) intimate scenes', and done well, can serve to enrich the characters' lives and how we perceive them. I think one of the reasons readers would like to see such scenes is because we like to see their lives outside of the 'spandex world'.
.
But maybe that's just me."
.
Leah




.
Leah, a sample of "difference" is Wonder Woman's 2 fantasy marriages to Clark.
.
In #300, she dreams being married to Clark. There's a scene where she's doing
a nude wing walking, Clark gives her his cape
and she says Why?.
.
Compare that to the Trinity storyline a couple years ago when she dreams about being married to Clark. The first scene out of spandex is a lunch with them & Bruce.
But there's more on how she feels
having Clark.
.
There's more of the inner person revealed,
not the outer person. Would you count that
the same way?





Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy,
posted November 08, 2001 10:36 PM :

.
I enjoyed the scenes between Superman and Lois in SUPERMAN:WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE MAN OF TOMORROW? (originally appearing in SUPERMAN 423/ACTION 583, released a year or two ago as a trade with better printing).
Alan Moore scripts the story as if Superman and Lois live out their passions for each other on pretty much a nightly basis, tucked away quietly in middle-class suburbia. (For me this pretty much WAS the "Last Superman story" it was touted as. I haven't liked any storyline since then as much as the Swan era stories that Moore's story was a tribute to.

.
I think the wildest, wettest, most passionate romance in comics --at least at DC-- was between Adam Strange and Alanna, in MYSTERY IN SPACE 53-91.
Many of these issues reprinted in STRANGE ADVENTURES 218-244, and their wedding in a new story in JLA 120 & 121 (1975).
Of course, it was very innocent in the way it was portrayed in the 60's and 70's, but I think you can easily read between the lines that these two love birds were white-hot with desire for each other, on occasions the Zeta-beam allowed them to re-unite.
.
( While I have high praise for much of Alan Moore's 80's work, I hated what Moore did to Adam Strange, in SWAMP THING 57 & 58.
Instead of the celebrated hero of Rann that Adam Strange was in the 60's and 70's under Infantino and others, Moore's version of Adam Strange became more dark and brutal, mindlessly attacking instead of using his wits as he always had in past stories. Instead of being the hero of Rann loved by its people, Moore's version of Adam Strange became someone the people of Rann sneered at behind his back and regarded as subhuman.
There were similar dark corruptions of Adam and Alanna's idyllic love.
.
All appearances since have handled Adam Strange and Alanna in a similar dark manner, and I choose to think of these stories as apocryphal and not part of the continuity that is such a wonderful cornerstone of the Silver Age. )
.
I'd like to see a writer who has an appreciation of that bygone era to pick up the scripting reins of Adam and Alanna as I know and love them. I've also often dreamed of being that writer.



RE: Moore and Adam Strange.

Yeah, Moore is a great writer most of the time, but he really screwed the pooch with Adam Strange. Just goes to show that everyone has an off day or inability to handle a given character once in a while.
Yes, G-Man, it definitely wasn't Moore's finest hour, in SWAMP THING 57 and 58.
It set a bad precedent for awhile in subsequent Adam Strange stories, including a horrible 1990 miniseries by Richard Bruning, Adam Kubert and Andy Kubert.

On the subject of the Elongated man and his wife's sex life, there was some allusion to this in the new FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE miniseries # 1.

While I liked the first issue, I don't think the new series is as strong as the previous regular series was. But I felt it picked up more momentum in the second half of the first issue. Hopefully that trend toward better storytelling will continue over the remaining issues of the miniseries.

But so far, I like Profh0011's idea better.
I was thinking, there are great porn-addiction story possibilities with IRON FIST.

\:lol\:




Posted By: TK-069 Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-01-02 5:34 AM
I betcha Catwoman has sex...
Posted By: Pariah Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-01-02 6:44 AM
Yep, with that old guy Slam a bunch a times. I guess her tenure as a whore got her prepared for injections from putrid visions of unadulterated and wrinkly disgust.
Posted By: TK-069 Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-01-02 6:50 AM
Holly's lookin' good.
Quote:

A new beginning !

In an effort to preserve some of the fun topics from the DC boards, I thought I'd attempt moving a few of them here. I really wish I'd known how to save Part 1 (the best DC topic ever!), and Part 2. Batwomanamy has told me between her and Tobor8, they've been able to somehow salvage much of the 38-page original topic.

I loved the wide-ranging conversation of the first topic, which has continued through these topics, an online-coffee-shop type of atmosphere, which represents the absolute best of the DC Boards and its appeal for many of us.

Here is the first half of page 1 of Part 3, to get things rolling:


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NEW MEMBER
posted October 09, 2001 09:19 PM
Due to tech problems, pt 2's thread was dropped. Rob did say that it could be restarted.
So, without further ado...

_______________________________

It's not JUST a message board , it's
also a way to stay in touch - proven 9/11/01.

not available, but if you'd leave a message at the tone...

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">NEW MEMBER
Member posted October 09, 2001 09:28 PM
For this board, what is the purpose of sex?
There's, what, half a billion people in the U.S.? I'll give you that people know what sex is, but they have different priorities on what it's for.

Sharing intimate feelings or making babies
is not the same as "a physical hug" that says you're not alone or that you're not a failure.

For others that don't want to get involved, ok, just have physical stimulation for fun. (especially if you're a playboy or playgirl.)

These are just a few basics. But there are many different values to sex! It may simply come down to what is in each person's life and what do they need from it.


Could be a reason why they don't show super heroes having sex - they don't want to show how vunerable the hero is/could be. Look at how the JLA have changed in treating Batman since they found out he is Bruce Wayne.
The AWE is gone.


</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">SilentBobWooHoo
Member posted October 09, 2001 09:30 PM
There was plenty of lovin' in Mike Grell's Green Arrows...
------------------
R.I.P all who were lost in the attacks 9/11/01
Snooch To The Nooch
~Daniel~

Check out my page @ http://www.expage.com/taprootkid for Jay and Silent Bob quotes, comic quotes (upcoming), music stuff, and much more!!!

Originally Posted By JGoldman10...
Yes, there are dozens of streetfighting cats and dogs I'm developing for and are going to be in "Tuffy and Bull", but shhhh! I don't want to give too much away!

That's just too funny!

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batwoman
Member posted October 10, 2001 01:39 AM
Aw come on! Bring back part 2! I want to continue with part 2. That and I want a copy of it.
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TOBOR8
Member posted October 10, 2001 01:06 PM
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by batwoman:
Aw come on! Bring back part 2! I want to continue with part 2. That and I want a copy of it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First pt 1 was so long, it was slowing down the service. Now, part 2 had technical problems? OK, can I have dibbs on pt.4 ???

And, the last thing in part 2, was about Luke Cage and possible stereotyping.


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TOBOR8
Member posted October 10, 2001 01:13 PM

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by TOBOR8:
First pt 1 was so long, it was slowing down the service. Now, part 2 had technical problems? OK, can I have dibbs on pt.4 ???

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Correction, the last things in part 2 was: *) Luke Cage and possible stereotyping
*) TV's Sheena having sex after identifying
a condom [because she reads a lot ]


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batwoman
Member posted October 11, 2001 01:39 AM
I think it's a conspiracy. People want us to stop talking about sex and just talk about war. Although the 2 are very comic related.
Ok there's a poll on the JLA board and I'll bring it here, since we talked about violence in the first part of this thread. Do you think 9/11 should be brought into comic books? why or why not?
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Steven Utley
Member posted October 11, 2001 07:16 AM

batwoman, I know how you feel about sex before marriage, but what about war? Do you think people should wait until they're married to go into combat? Is extra-marital combat a sin? What about pre-martial sex? Set us straight, babe.
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Iron Sun
Member posted October 11, 2001 10:22 AM

It's a conspiracy all right, but not what you think. I revealed the truth about sex in comics and suddenly the thread disappeared. They just want to keep their dirty little secret to themselves.
------------------
GENERIC CLEVER QUOTE

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TOBOR8
Member posted October 11, 2001 10:33 AM


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by batwoman:
I think it's a consperacy. People want us to stop talking about sex and just talk about war. Although the 2 are very comic related. Ok there's a poll on the JLA board and I'll bring it here, since we takled about violence in the first part of this thread. Do you think 9/11 should be brought into comic books? why or why not?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, but at this point, it's going to have a whole different value, Batwoman.

In the midst of the War of the Worlds, and all the damage that was done (like Kansas),
an enemy regime sends terrorists to attack
the U.S.

It may be something where EVERYONE
calls for the Spectre to avenge the people
killed by the terrorists. If the Spectre refuses, anything might result.


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TOBOR8
Member posted October 11, 2001 10:34 AM

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Iron Sun:
It's a conspiracy all right, but not what you think. I revealed the truth about sex in comics and suddenly the thread disappeared. They just want to keep their dirty little secret to themselves.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nah, they'd simply sell more 1/2 size ad pages that way.
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TOBOR8
Member posted October 11, 2001 01:32 PM

DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS COVERED -no pt 1 or pt 2.
Image had "Superstar". Guy absorbed the life energies people donated to him for taking care of his work.
He had a girlfriend who was using him to write a book about their affair.
I've got a question:
During the 1000 yrs Superman and Wonder Woman were in Asgard,
would she have wanted any sex with anyone at anytime besides the last night with Clark? I know we weren't shown, but would
she have?

------------------
be careful what you wish for ~ you might get it and then some !

"This is America. Just because you get more votes doesn't mean you win."
X-Files 4/8/2001

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TOBOR8
Member posted October 11, 2001 01:36 PM

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Steven Utley:
batwoman, I know how you feel about sex before marriage, but what about war? Do you think people should wait until they're married to go into combat? Is extra-marital combat a sin? What about pre-martial sex? Set us straight, babe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does doing it with your in-law count?
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Lildeath
Member posted October 11, 2001 06:18 PM
As usual, Mr. Utley, you rock.
I was forced to think, though, about how it's actually the opposite of the joke you were telling.

Think about it. When some sort of dangerous situation comes up, who is always considered the most expendable in the group? Unmarried men without children. "You can't throw yourself on the grenade, Bob, 'cause you've got a wife and kids! I'll do it, because women hate me and I'm sterile."

Superheroes seem to fall under this rule as well. In general, they're single and childless. Great lengths are often gone to in order to keep them this way, up to and including the most drastic and unfair measure of all, not allowing the poor suckers any nookie.

Is it because superheroes have to throw themselves on grenades?

------------------
Tom rose carefully, never drawing bead away from the surviving Gubru. "Drop your weapons belt and stand away from the transmitter. Slowly. Remember, we humans are wolflings. We are feral, carnivorous, and extremely fast! Do not make me eat you." He grinned his broadest grin to display a maximum of teeth.

Startide Rising by David Brin
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JLI/JLE had some great sexual humor.

I love this cover of Blue Beetle, with far more woman than
he can handle:






And the odd gender definition problems with the new Dr Fate
(where Kent Nelson and his wife Inza shared the power of a
sometimes male/sometimes female Dr Fate):
"Him... uhh, her... whatever..."







Although for Blue Beetle and Booster Gold, it seemed to be
more about the prestige of being surrounded by gorgeous
women, than actually doing anything with them:







One of my favorite images by Alex Ross. The Ross Report on his site says that AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO was commisioned as a prop, for the skit of the same name on Saturday Night Live.

Aside from the obvious humor of it, it's also a nice tribute to the Silver Age DC covers :


http://www.flickr.com/photos/urbanbohemian/112913483/
Posted By: Fused Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-04-13 12:07 PM
That's awesome.
Yeah the whole damned site is pretty awesome. And I'm not even that much of an Alex Ross fan. I generally think his pencil pages are much nicer than the paintings he does.
But regardless of your preferences, this site is a treasure-trove of beautiful art.

Here are a few other choice small images from the site, with links below each one, to the larger images:


Superfriends pencil drawing (March 2001)

http://www.alexrossart.com/rossreport/march2001/img/hannabarberaLG.gif


Superfriends lithograph (April 2001)

http://www.alexrossart.com/rossreport/april2001/img/hanbarrossLG.jpg




Perez/Ross CRISIS poster

http://www.alexrossart.com/gallery/publishers/warnerbros/img/crisisLG.jpg



Plastic Man poster

http://www.alexrossart.com/gallery/publishers/warnerbros/img/plasticmanplateLG.jpg



Avengers poster

http://www.alexrossart.com/gallery/publishers/warnerbros/img/mrvlgoodLG.jpg



JSA poster

http://www.alexrossart.com/gallery/publishers/warnerbros/img/jsaLG.jpg



Here's the pen and ink version, which I like 10 times
better than the painted final version above:
JSA pen & ink sketch

http://www.alexrossart.com/store/sketches/dc/jsaLG.gif




Promethia (to toss in a sexy/good girl art page... )

http://www.alexrossart.com/gallery/publishers/abc/img/Promethea_sk.gif



And there's plenty more where these came from !

www.alexrossart.com





I love this 1977 cover from AMAZING WORLD OF DC COMICS # 17,
by Al Weiss:





I know it's perfectly innocent, but with amusement, I read
into it that old Shazam is pretty frickin' turned on by
having Mary Marvel sit in his lap, thinking:
"Sha-ZAM" !!!
\:lol\:

I always loved Mary Marvel as a character. Sweet and
innocent, but also very sexy. Her role in the recent
FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE was very well played
along these lines.





I also really enjoyed this pseudo-"1953 Annual" DC released
about a year ago. The cover is originally from
CAPTAIN MARVEL ADVENTURES 18.



Posted By: Batwoman Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-05-08 7:27 AM
Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy said:
I love this 1977 cover from AMAZING WORLD OF DC COMICS # 17, by Al Weiss:



larger/clearer image:
http://image.milehighcomics.com/istore/images/fullsize/03235151950.17.GIF

I know it's perfectly innocent, but with amusement, I read into it that old Shazam is pretty frickin' turned on by having Mary Marvel sit in his lap, thinking: "Sha-ZAM" !!!





Leave it to my overly tired and warped brain to go the gutter route and not think of any other 'meaning' for that cover. I should go to bed.
And here's a big, fat bumperoonie from the gal who's written some pretty NAUGHTY stuff in her time.

BTW, we used that Alan Weiss piece as our May "Pic of the Month" over on the Marvels of SHAZAM!
Hey, Shazamgrrl's here !

Welcome to the RKMB boards, it's really great to
have you here.
Now we're cookin'.

Glad I'm not alone in appreciating that AWODDC cover he
did. I think it really captures the personality, fun and
camaraderie of the Marvel Family.

I was thinking a really fun and playfully suggestive story
would be one where Captain Marvel (the 15-year-old kid in
a man's body) loses his viginity in a JLI/JLE style
story.

Holy moley !!

Maybe afterwards, instead of a cigarrette, they could share
a glass of warm milk and some cookies.



--------------------


"This Man, This Wonder Boy..."
Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy said:





A's left hand is funny .
Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy said:
I was thinking a really fun and playfully suggestive story would be one where Captain Marvel (the 15-year-old kid in a man's body) loses his viginity in a JLI/JLE style story.

Holy moley !!

Maybe afterwards, instead of a cigarrette, they could share a glass of warm milk and some cookies.


--------------------

"This Man, This Wonder Boy..."




Welp, someone got on their computer and beat me to that one. It's on Adult Fan Fiction under "Justice League", titled "The Captain and the Canary". Would you settle for me writing Billy's first time at 18?

One caveat: the author who wrote "The Captain and the Canary" has posted quite a few other stories that have the same themes, character lines and actions, especially with anal sex. They read like they've been written from a template.
BTW, I'm posting that story here: Superhero Shangri-La
Posted By: TK-069 Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-06-27 5:35 AM
A whole new venue to explore...

I couldn't get the Superhero Shangra-La link to work, Shazamgrrl. Maybe it's temporarily down.

But I like the idea of a story where Capt Marvel loses his virginity. I picture him all redfaced with initial embarrassment, and then getting excited and into it, with a lot of funny/innocent facial expressions.
I favor a playfully suggestive (rather than an explicit) approach with Cap.

With some similarities to a scene where Matthew Broderick's character loses his virginity in the movie Biloxi Blues.
Man, what a funny movie ! With a great cast.

I'm not into the whole anal sex portayal, especially for an old fashioned character like Captain Marvel.


When the Floronic Man gets a woody... is it real wood ?




Posted By: Batwoman Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-06-28 9:59 PM
Oh that was bad
 Quote:
Wednesday said:
 Quote:
Dave the Wonder Boy said:

AMIGUOUSLY GAY DUO cover, by Alex Ross

A's left hand is funny.


I finally figured out what you're referring to, Wedneday.
The positioning of A's left hand is rather... suggestive.


Posted By: McGurk Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-07-01 9:40 AM
My fault for thinking this was over, but oh well. Here's my two cents.

Why don't superheroes have sex?

Because it's way down the list.

Because some people have a hard time having open discussions with the ones they're acquainted with, and assume telling 50 other uninvolved people is going to make things any better. Anything you say to them just goes in one ear and over the back fence, and doesn't always come around back to you. Yet, when it comes to letting their guards down with each other, it doesn't happen.

It's like those people who used to call that MTV show "Loveline" with stuff like "My girlfriend of three years just asked me if I'd like to join the Columbia Record Club. How do I tell her 'no thank you, sweetie pumpkin' without upsetting her?"

It's so September 10th.

Some of them, unfortunately, are masked superheroes.

It's called expression and sharing of thoughts an feelings. It's merely a way of keeping you from scratching your head and wondering why I hadn't seen you online in what seemed like ages, among other things. It's also what you time and time again advised me to do with others. Maybe if you took your mask off and glanced in the mirror once a millennia you wouldn't be in the predicament you're in. Now you claim I'm "dumping my thoughts on you", even though you continue to "dump" certain thoughts on me about your predicament, knowing where I stand on the whole situation which is still going nowhere fast, day after day, year after year, and you broadcast that claim and much else about ME right here, dragging the internet into this? Why don't you just sell tickets while you're at it?

I could go on also, but I won't. Heck, at this rate I'll probably see the rest of this on Montel, with the people involved in the back room completely oblivious to what awaits them.
Nah, Montel wouldn't touch this with a ten-yard pole.
Posted By: Wonder Boy Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-07-10 10:33 PM



Does anyone remember in CEREBUS, with the Woman Thing and
Sump Thing (issues 23-25, which parody Man-Thing and Swamp
Thing, and the Marvel/DC rivalry regarding which created
their character first).


And the two beasts begin a collossal fight, which turns
into... something else...

SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK
SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK
SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK !

CEREBUS: " 'Battling?' Cerebus doesn't think 'battling'
is quite the word you're looking for... "

\:lol\:


Posted By: TK-069 Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-07-11 8:17 AM
Quote:

SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK
SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK
SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK!




"Sounds" juicy and bacteria-ridden...
Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy said:
Does anyone remember in CEREBUS, with the Woman Thing and
Sump Thing (issues 23-25, which parody Man-Thing and Swamp
Thing, and the Marvel/DC rivalry regarding which created
their character first).


And the two beasts begin a collossal fight, which turns
into... something else...

SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK
SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK
SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK SHLUCK !

CEREBUS: " 'Battling?' Cerebus doesn't think 'battling'
is quite the word you're looking for... "






Posted By: Wonder Boy Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-07-22 10:27 PM
Yeah, great stuff, Shazamgrrl.

CEREBUS has a lot of great sexual humor.

Another I recently read was "Swamp Pud" in
ANTON'S DREKBOOK, that has pornographic versions of a
number of comics characters and genres, although this one
is clearly of Alan Moore's SWAMP THING and Abigail Cable.

From the story:

 Quote:

SWAMP PUD:
"I must f--k the Earth."
.
"I must bury my root in the swampy moss !!"
.
"Fertilize the rich loam with my Giant-size Man-Thing!"
.
"AHHH! AHHH!"
.
SPURT !





Anton Drek is the pseudonym used by Don Simpson when he
does pornographic comics.

He also does a WENDY WHITEBREAD: UNDERCOVER SLUT series
that I've seen advertised but never read, about a rather
adventuresome lady police detective.

The books I like Don Simpson best for are his MEGATON MAN
series ( a great tribute/parody of 60's Marvel, particularly spoofing the Lee/Kirby FF run).
And BORDERLANDS, a science fiction series (which also had some very graphic sex scenes.)
And Simpson's story I mentioned earlier, from ANYTHING GOES # 2, "Pictopia", written by Alan Moore.



Posted By: McGurk Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-08-20 7:43 AM
In Action Comics Weekly #620, there's a Blackhawk story that gets quite steamy after a while. Almost could make one wish for an indoor swimming pool, even though the coloring was terrible.
Posted By: Wonder Boy Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-08-22 10:12 PM



I remember there was some major sex going on in the 1988
three-issue BLACKHAWK miniseries by Chaykin. Nice art,
but a rather choppy and incoherent story.



Although there's always some major sex going on in
Chaykin's stories.

Chaykin also has a thing for pulp-era style heroes in
double breasted suits, including:

"Iron-wolf" in WEIRD WORLDS 8-10(1973),
THE SCORPION 1-3 from Seaboard-Atlas (1975),
A short piece in EPIC ILLUSTRATED # 2 (1980),
THE SWORDS OF HEAVEN THE FLOWERS OF HELL graphic novel(1979),
THE STARS MY DESTINATION graphic novel(1979-1980),
Dominic Fortune in THE HULK magazine (1979-1981),

and especially:

AMERICAN FLAGG (1983-1987),
THE SHADOW four-issue miniseries (1986)
and
BLACKHAWK (1988).

I think AMERICAN FLAGG was Chaykin's best, funniest and
most imaginative work.
And Chaykin's painted art in the prior late 70's/early 80's period is gorgeous.
I also enjoyed his Dominic Fortune stories (also painted
art) in the HULK and BIZARRE ADVENTURES magazines, written by Dennis O'Neil.

After BLACK KISS (1989), I kind of felt Chaykin had already done all the original material he was going to do, and was
going to just keep repeating.

But regardless, there's always some no-holds-barred sex
going on in Chaykin's books.


--------------------


"This Man, This Wonder Boy..."

Two very amusing offshoot topics of the superheroes and sex concept:

A great topic by G-Man:

Doctor Octopus, meet Dr. Freud
http://www.robkamphausen.com/ubbthreads/...=13&fpart=1


and also

Marvel Max and anal sex
http://www.robkamphausen.com/ubbthreads/...e=0&fpart=1

I especially enjoyed the suggestiveness of this image Stupid Dogg posted:

Yeah, that pic's pretty funny.
Posted By: TK-069 Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-10-31 11:14 AM
Hulk hasn't been same since Betty left!
Posted By: URG Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-11-24 11:50 AM
Spidey wishes like hell Betty would come back!
Posted By: NON Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2004-11-25 8:21 AM
Posted By: URSA Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2005-01-01 9:12 AM
Like the General says, Hulk must be the whore of the Marvel universe!
There's a seinen (or men's) manga I like called City Hunter. The lead character, Ryo Saeda, is called both "the #1 hentai (pervert) in Japan" and the "Stud of Shinjuku" (the district he lives and works in).

He's a bigger lech than Miroku from InuYasha, has the goods to back it up and unbelievable sexual energy, often having sex with a client (all of whom are female) in lieu of monetary reward. He's also been know to crack walls, shatter bulletproof windows and even hold up a 225 lb. weight ... with his "member".

There's also some full frontal nudity (female and male) in the book.

Some more comments on Ryo: He's probably the ideal man by Japanese standards: tall, handsome (but not to the point of looking like a sissy), strong (but not to the point of being grossly over-inflated), has great sexual prowess and a soft heart. Sensitive to others and sometime acts really out of character (say, the lecher part) so he won't hurt the ladies' feelings.

Here's a picture. Doesn't he look kinda like Don Newton's updated Captain Marvel from World's Finest?
Posted By: Wonder Boy Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2005-01-30 10:25 PM
Quote:

ShazamGrrl1 said:
There's a seinen (or men's) manga




Sounds kind of like "semen". Pretty funny, considering the sexual content.



Quote:

ShazamGrrl1 said:
City Hunter. The lead character, Ryo Saeda, is called both "the #1 hentai (pervert) in Japan" and the "Stud of Shinjuku" (the district he lives and works in).
.
He's a bigger lech than Miroku from InuYasha, has the goods to back it up and unbelievable sexual energy, often having sex with a client (all of whom are female) in lieu of monetary reward. He's also been know to crack walls, shatter bulletproof windows and even hold up a 225 lb. weight ... with his "member".





This sounds a lot like Tim Vigil's work, from the two series I've seen his work in, EO and FAUST.
Tim Vigil is one sick bastard. He draws his hero having sex with women and ripping them to bloody shreds during sex.

I think the world would be a safer place if this man were locked up in a secure mental facility.





Quote:

ShazamGrrl1 said:
Here's a picture. Doesn't he look kinda like Don Newton's updated Captain Marvel from World's Finest?
. http://www.photodump.com/direct/ShazamGrrl1/gruppo2.jpg





He looks a bit more like Speed Racer to me.

But the art is very clean and nice to look at.

I'm not overly into Japanimation or Manga. Although AKIRA and a few other series have some beautifully detailed art.
Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy said:
Quote:

ShazamGrrl1 said:
City Hunter. The lead character, Ryo Saeda, is called both "the #1 hentai (pervert) in Japan" and the "Stud of Shinjuku" (the district he lives and works in).
.
He's a bigger lech than Miroku from InuYasha, has the goods to back it up and unbelievable sexual energy, often having sex with a client (all of whom are female) in lieu of monetary reward. He's also been know to crack walls, shatter bulletproof windows and even hold up a 225 lb. weight ... with his "member".





This sounds a lot like Tim Vigil's work, from the two series I've seen his work in, EO and FAUST.
Tim Vigil is one sick bastard. He draw his hero having sex with women and ripping them to bloody shreds during sex.

I think the world would be a safer place if this man were locked up in a secure mental facility.




Yep.

City Hunter has a pretty good sense of humor about Ryo's sexcapades. He enjoys making love to the ladies, but he's not into physically hurting them.
Quote:

Dave the Wonder Boy said:
Tim Vigil is one sick bastard. He draw his hero having sex with women and ripping them to bloody shreds during sex.





Necro? Man, dat's out the do'!
Good news! This topic has sort-of been revived on the DCMBs, only it's called "Superhero Sex Questions". Still the same "Sex in the City" style kaffeklatch "atmosphere" and humor, though. It's a lot of fun.
Bump.


I was just over on the DC boards, Shazamgrrl, and didn't see it. Was it deleted?


Regarding superhero sex, I always found it easier to believe superheroes were getting some when Adam Hughes was drawing them.
Like Hughes' many enticing WONDER WOMAN covers, for example.



Hughes draws a wonder-butt to die for !

Found it & bumped it. It was buried back on page five.

Here's a link: Superhero sex questions
Posted By: rex Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2005-02-20 8:50 AM
Why don't superheroes have sex?

Because the writers don't want to alienate their readers.
Posted By: McGurk Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2005-02-20 9:43 AM
Sure they do. What about those that send out the message "outsiders not welcome" to new readers?
Posted By: Wonder Boy Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2005-03-12 12:33 AM





A somewhat interesting sex story is in ACTION COMICS 592 and 593, both issues scripted and illustrated by John Byrne in 1987.
Which presents a new character from Apokolips named Sleeze, who brainwashes Superman and Barda and has them making porn movies together.

Not a great story, but the awkwardness of the whole thing makes it interesting.


--------------------


"This Man, This Wonder Boy..."

Posted By: Phillip Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2005-03-16 10:27 AM
Shameless plug warning!

*fart*

Posted By: Terrance Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2005-03-16 10:28 AM
Phillip, now YOU farted on the old superhero sex thread!
Posted By: Phillip Re: "Why don't Superheroes have sex?" Part 4 - 2005-03-16 10:30 AM
I have, haven't I, Terrance?



Hey, what the...

somebody farted on my topic !!
Whoa! Aim that jyaki the other way, man! Phwee!!
Yaaaaaaaaaay!! The smell's finally gone!!


"Ten Shocking comic book hook-ups" (Newsarama)
http://www.newsarama.com/15428-graphic-novels-10-shocking-comic-book-hook-ups.html


Of the 10 of them:

 Quote:



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