RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Trippin' Tuesday 06.14.05

Welcome to this special Flag Day edition of Havoc, Trippin' Tuesday! We've got an action packed show for you tonight!

Heavyweight Match single choice

Captain Sammitch (50%, 21 Votes)

Balls Nasty (50%, 21 Votes)

Total Votes: 42 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-01 5:51 PM

XPW Title single choice

Darien Irons (Champ) (20%, 8 Votes)

Chris Oakley (80%, 33 Votes)

Total Votes: 41 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-01 5:51 PM

Hardcore Porn Series Match 3 single choice

Wednesday (Champ) (40%, 17 Votes)

TK-069 (60%, 26 Votes)

Total Votes: 43 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-01 5:51 PM

Lightweight Faggot Title Table Elimination single choice

Spandex Monkey Man (Champ) (29%, 12 Votes)

James Fantastic (14%, 6 Votes)

Charlie (14%, 6 Votes)

Johnny Evil (43%, 18 Votes)

Total Votes: 42 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-01 5:51 PM

Women's Booby Title single choice

Sneaky Bunny (Champ) (58%, 25 Votes)

Meeko (42%, 18 Votes)

Total Votes: 43 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-01 5:51 PM

Bodyslam Match single choice

El Superbeasto (61%, 25 Votes)

Two-Ton Tommy (39%, 16 Votes)

Total Votes: 41 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-01 5:51 PM

Title Unification Match single choice

Joe Mama (IC Champ) (62%, 26 Votes)

Nowhereman (EuroTrash Champ) (38%, 16 Votes)

Total Votes: 42 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-01 5:51 PM

Tag Division Match single choice

Dark Lords (29%, 12 Votes)

Allied Powers (71%, 29 Votes)

Total Votes: 41 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-01 5:51 PM

Ladder Match Big Cheese Title single choice

PenWing (Champ) (56%, 24 Votes)

King Snarf (44%, 19 Votes)

Total Votes: 43 Voting on this poll ends: 2024-06-01 5:51 PM

*The words Evil Cunt Wrestling: One Night Standappear on the Cheese-O-Tron as familiar music begins to play and Paul Hyman walks down the rampway. Following him are several ECW wrestlers, including Hippo, Tommy Sleeper, Sandleman, the Dud Boys, Malls Balloney, and Axl & Ian Cotton. The ECW group gets a mixed reaction from the crowd, who is not sure of their intentions.

Monroe: "Oh, what is this now? First it's Billionaire Vince, then Rob Blackandblue, and now Paul Hyman! What next?"

Marcum: "Eric Ripoff?"

Monroe: "Gob, I hope not."

Hyman: "Thank you, thank you, thank you, and fuck you! You all know who that last statement was directed to!"

Monroe: ". . .I don't. . ."

Hyman: "Now I know you're all wondering what we're doing here since the Evil Cunt Wrestling: One Night Stand show isn't until June 26th. Well, the owner of RDCW, Rob Kamphausen, and the GM of RDCW, the Doctor, have both sent invitations to ECW to be present here on this show tonight and to promote our show next week. Now unlike Rob Zuchinidick and his ECW wannabe promotion. We accepted these offers with grace and diplomacy. Because many of the current RDCW stars were once ECW stars and will be returning to their roots next week at One Night Stand!"

*Crowd applaudes this announcement.

Hyman: "I look forward to seeing you all there, but most of all, I look forward to facing off against Rob Blackandblue in the Porno Theatre Free For All and sticking his ugly, disgusting, putrid, pus ridden face into a stinky, smelly bucket of jizzmop!"

Monroe: "That's just disgusting."

MarcuM: "That's fucked up. That ain't right. But I'd still like to see it."

*The ECW theme music plays again as Hyman and Co. leave the ring. The crowd chants "Evil Cunt! Evil Cunt!" as they make their way to the back.

(Backstage,Lizzie Boring watches Hyman's commentary in undisguised contempt and makes a rude gesture at the TV screen.)

LIZZIE:Just you wait,you little toad...my Robbie will chew you up and spit you out like old gum!XPW's gonna OWN this sport--

Her ruminations are interrupted by the appearance of reigining XPW world heavyweight champion Darien Irons,who's wearing his trademark leather jacket and an "OAKLEY SUCKS AND SO DOES RDCW" T-shirt.

LIZZIE:Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for your match against Oakley?
IRONS(snickers):Relax,babe--this match is gonna be a piece of cake.Oakley won't last two minutes in the ring once I get my hands on him.Hell,if a jobber like Mister JLA can beat him,it should be a cinch for XPW's main man.

Huge Rick Fudley walks toward them for the far end of the hallway and high-fives Irons.
FUDLEY:That's right,brother...XPW rules,RDCW drools.

We then fade to commerical.

*The stomping beat of "We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers and the fans roar to their feet and sing along as PenWing, with the Big Cheese Belt around his waist and his Sherwood in hand, makes his way to the ring.*

Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day

You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace

Kickin' your can all over the place

Singin'
'We will we will rock you'

'We will we will rock you'

Everybody
'We will we will rock you'

'We will we will rock you'

Alright

PenWing: Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on around here!? I mean, I can deal with losing the Tag Team Donkey Lovin' belts. Fact is, that was a hell of a match, and last week, King Snarf and Joe Mama were the better team. I won't take that away from them. And, on the bright side, The Family can actually call King Snarf the champ without making everyone spit their drinks out in laughter. Thing is, I can't deal with some third rate wrestling promotion inviting themselves into our house and kicking us around!

*Pops from the crowd.*

PenWing: You may be wondering why SD-6 stayed out of that mess last night. Quite simply, not only did we have a match, but it became very clear that our RDCW brethren didn't even need us out there to kick XPW's asses! And it looked like the only reason some members of the Family got involved was because they wanted a little warm up before our match!

*The crowd booes the mention of the Family Business.*

PenWing: But that's not what has me pissed off. If someone is stupid enough to walk in here and pick a fight, well, look what we did to Worst Wrestling Ever!

*The crowd Cheers.*

PenWing: Thing is, Billionare Vince didn't start harassing me with contracts to join his company. He was honest with us. All he wanted was to squash us. And I can respect that. After all, we are the greatest threat to every wrestling promotion across the globe, because we do everything for you!

*More cheers.*

PenWing: On the other hand, Rod Blueballs and his whore, Lezzie Barfing, have been running around trying to get every wrestler in the RDCW to jump ship. Now, is it just me, or does this remind everyone of a guy named Louie Bastardo?

*The crowd booes.*

PenWing: Hold on, before everyone starts the justified "asshole" chants, I'd just like to make something clear. At least the Family Business can back up it's talk. Blueballs can't even get his own wife to screw him!

*The crowd laughs.*

PenWing: Blueballs, to answer your question, NO, I will NOT be joining your sorry ass promotion!

*The crowd cheers.*

PenWing: What I am going to do, is enter myself in the Junkyard Invitational at Evil Cunt Wrestling's One Night Stand! I may be fairly new to wrestling, and I've never participated in and ECW event, but I can tell you this, it looks like it's going to be a whole hell of a lot of fun!

*The crowd roars.*

PenWing: But what to do between now and then? That is the question. And the answer is quite simple. Captain Sammitch and I are issuing a challenge to the new Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Champions: Next week, on Havoc, we want a rematch! But not just any kind of rematch. With the RDLL show coming up next month, we challenge you to a Lucha Libre style tag match for the Donkey Lovin' titles!

*More cheers from the crowd.*

PenWing: And that just leaves tonight. Snarf, last week, with a little help from Loosie, you were able to grab the Donkey Lovin' titles. But that was last week. Tonight, it's just you...and me. And the last time it was just you and me, championship gold was just out of reach! You can forget about last week, Snarf, because tonight, there aren't any tables, and there aren't any chairs. Tonight, there aren't any distractions. Tonight, the rules are very simple. Tonight, SUDDEN (the crowd joins in) DEATH RULES!

*The crowd erupts in cheer as "Gonna Fly Now" blasts over the speakers and PenWing leaves the ring.*

*Two black stretch limos pull up into the CheeseDome and park. Female chauffers step out of both and open the doors as the Bastardo Family step out. The Legbreakers (Stupid Doog and Winged Creature), Johnny Evil and Ariel, El Superbeasto (lifting up the Fear and Loathing trophy for the cameras), Women's Booby Champion Sneaky Bunny, Louie Bastardo and Grace, and finally the brand new Donky Lovin Tag Champs King Snarf and IC Champ Joe Mama.

MarcuM: "Business is really gonna pick up now, Monroe! The Family has arrived!"

Monroe: "Great."

MarcuM: "You know you secretly want to be just like Louie Bastardo and the Family members. Successful. Nice clothes. Lots of money. Women. Power. Fame. I know you get lonely in your little apartment late at night, drinking cheap beer and crying into your pillow."

Monroe: "Madman, what the hell are you going on about now?"

MarcuM: "Don't blame me because your personal life sucks!"

"Ecstasy of Gold" is soon heard. The Family is making their way directly to ringside!

Monroe: "Don't change the channel, fans, they're headed to the ring!"

*The Family heads into the ring amidst booes from the crowd. A few Bastardo fans in the front row get drowned out by the massive jeering of the Family. One guy in an XPW shirt gets punched by a familiar looking fan in a hawaiian shirt and a straw hat. Security removes the two as the Family look on in amusement.

LB: "So it's finally here. Trippin' Tuesday. The night the Family resolidifies it's grip upon the RDCW and the championship gold!"

*Crowd booes ever louder, but Louie continues on.

LB: "Johnny Evil. C'mere, boy."

*Johnny and Ariel step up onto either side of Louie.

LB: "Tonight Johnny Evil reclaims the Lightweight Faggot title for the Family! I mean, let's face it, his only competition tonight is Charlie. Charlie's tough, but he's no Johnny Evil, is he? Spandex Monkey Man? He got lucky. That's all. Jimmy Faboo? He's a non factor. I don't even know why he's in this match, to be honest with you. I guess Bobo and the Doctor felt sorry for him. Or he's blowing them. You decide which."

*Crowd chants "Fantastic! Fantastic!" as the Family laugh to themselves.

LB: "El Superbeasto! Come on down!"

*Superbeasto stands next to Louie, as Louie looks up at his protege.

LB: "Damn, you're tall. Tonight, El Superbeasto ends Two-Ton Tommy in a bodyslam match. There is no way that gimped out loser can slam the Giant Luchadore! No way in hell!"

*Crowd chants "SD6! SD6!" and "Tommy! Tommy!"

LB: "Keep chanting. They know better. This is Family time."

LB: "Sneaky Bunny. Ahh, the lovely Bunny."

*SB stands next to Louie and hugs him, kissing him on the cheek.

LB: "I told you'd get you title, did I not? The title you deserved. And now, you are the Women's Champion. Tonight, you finish Meeko for good."

*An evil smile comes across Bunny's face as she runs a hand down the Women's Booby title belt and nods her head.

LB: "Joe Mama."

*The crowd erupts in a frenzy as JM steps up, a belt on each shoulder and a sadistic grin on his face.

LB: "Tonight, Joe Mama will once again become the Euro-Cuntinental Champion, putting that limey poofter, Nowhereman where he belongs! In the garbage!"

*JM motions around his waist and lifts his titles up in the air as the crowd throws a few cups at him. Security quickly wrestles the fans down.

JM: "I'll take care of you outside, after the show. Right before the Family goes back to their room to drink like Kennedys and party LIKE ROCK STARS!"

LB: "And finally. . .last, but most certainly not least. . .YOUR World Heavyweight Cheese Champion. . .the man of the hour, the tower of power, too sweet to be sour. . .KING SNARF!!!!"

*Snarf steps up as the crowd erupts,screaming at him and flipping him off. Snarf sneers at them and shows off his Donkey Lovin Tag Belt.

LB: "Tonight, you will reclaim the belt and retire that guy, what's his name? PinkyWinky? once and for all!"

KS: "That's right! PenWing stole my belt at Rehash! I am the one, true Big Cheese Champion! And PenWing, last week was just a preview of what the Family has in store for you! Tonight, Sudden Death taps out to the headlock!"

*"Ecstasy of Gold" plays again as Trippin' Tuesday goes to commercial."

**We come back from commercial to see Ian Bond roaring down the aisle to the ring area on the back of a Triumph motorcycle,dressed in what looks like a Formula 1 racer's jumpsuit.After popping a few wheelies at ringside for the entertainment of the fans,he neatly slides off the cycle's seat,climbs into the ring,and picks up a mic to address the crowd.**

Well,ladies and gentlemen,as you may guessed by my choice of attire,I've just returned from Europe after selecting the newest member of the Bond Brigade.

**Major pops fron the crowd.**

I will,of course,give him a proper introduction next week,but suffice it to say he's carved out a most successful grappling career over there and he is now hoping to make a name for himself in the States as well.Right now,however,my first and best-known protege has a few words to say not only to all of you,but also to his peers here in RDCW.

**More pops from the crowd.Bond points in the direction of the Cheese-O-Tron and the image of Chris Oakley comes into view...**

We see Chris standing at the doorway of the Bond Brigade dressing room,wearing combat fatigue pants and a "SCREW XPW" T-shirt.He's holding a mic in one hand and an RDCW superstars group portrait in the other.

Well,folks,tonight I'm taking to the ring for what may be the most important match of my career.I'll be facing XPW's world heavyweight champion,Darien Irons,in a bout that for sheer brutality promises to top even my ladder match with the Captain of Outer Space at Robblemania XX.You're probably wondering why I'm putting myself through this torture,why I've agreed to take this match to wrestle for the heavyweight crown of a federation I've said over and over again I don't want to be part of.There's a lot of reasons...

Chris picks up his "Bond Brigade" baseball cap and puts it on.

For one thing,I want to prove that my stints as RDCW hardcore and IC champion weren't a fluke.For another,I'd love to wipe that smug smirk of Rob Hasnoclue's face.But the most important reason?

Holds up the RDCW superstars group photo.

These guys.When Rob Blackandblue and his XPW goon squad showed up at last week's "Havoc",they basically perpetrated an attack on RDCW's honor and I just can't let that go.So I'm making it my business to give Darien Irons the ass-whipping he so richly deserves.When I ram his swollen,arrogant head into the ringpost,I'll be doing it for SD-6.When I suplex him through the table,I'll be doing it on behalf of the Company.When I kick his teeth in with the Kill 'Em All,I'll be thinking of the Dark Lords and the Anibabes...

INSANELY loud pops from the crowd;elsewhere in the backstage area,the rest of the RDCW roster is listening in admiration to Chris' passionate declaration of devotion to RDCW.Madman Marcum just stares at the Cheese-O-Tron,for once having nothing to say.

When I drill him with the Full Metal Jacket,it'll be in the name of the Allied Powers,Team GOP,the Liberal Conspiracy,the Bastardo Family,the Bible Babes,Two-Ton Tommy and Nuriko.When I clamp the Snuff the Rooster on him,I'll be applying it for the sake of Spandex Monkey Man and Los Monstros Azules.When the match is over,and I've beaten "Big Joke" Darien Irons for his XPW world title,I'll take the belt to the Divas and tell them:"This is as much your championship as it is mine."And then I'm going to find Ian Bond,Louie Bastardo,Insane Liberal,Sweet Willie Williams,Terri Savitz,Meeko,Grace,and Brian Owlmouth and bring them with me down to XPW headquarters so we can all have the pleasure of laughing in Rob Blackandblue's face over the fact that we destroyed his penny-ante fed's biggest star.

The loudest pops from the crowd yet.Back in the locker room,RDCW superstars are high-fiving one another in anticipation of Darien Irons' imminent destruction;Fat Retard and Llarry "The Queen" Llawler are going around the backstage area interviewing various RDCW stars and officials for their reaction to Chris' speech.Camera then fades back to Madman Marcum and Mike "The Mouth" Monroe at ringside.

MARCUM:Wow.I just...I don't know what to say.
MONROE:I do--KICK HIS ASS,OAKLEY!TEACH THAT BROOKLYN SON-OF-A-BITCH THAT NOBODY SCREWS WITH RDCW AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!

'High Voltage' hits the sound system, and Charlie comes down to the ring. The crowd immediately gets down to a chant of BAS-TARD!, but Charlie merely flips them off before getting into the ring, mic in hand

Charlie: Tonight the Lightweight title will be back in the hands of the Family Business. Tonight, that belt gets BACK WHERE IT BELONGS!

The crowd boos, and continues their chanting

Charlie: Spandex Monkey Man? That man is a JOKE! And as for Fagtastic, tonight I will destory him and send his career back to the pit where it belongs! Who know, maybe he'll have a future in XPW! He'd fit right in!

The Heat charlie receives for thisl ast remark is staggering, as the fans go psycho, booing and throwing trash at him. Snapping, Charlie runs to the turnbuckle and leaps into the crowd, flattening a young man and laying into him viciously. The Cheesedome security run to restrain him, but Charlie lays about them viciously and they attempt to haul him away.

'Peter Gunn' plays, and James Fantastic runs down to the ring, guitar in hand. He smashes it over Charlie's back. Charlie staggers back, and Fantastic grabs a microphone

JF: You think you're big, huh, Charlie? Ooh, check out the hard man, he beats up a FAN! You got a problem with me, you take it out on me, right?!

Charlie launches himself at Fantastic, and the two lay about each other furiously. Security attempts to restrain them, but they shake them off and continue trading blows. More and more security men run down, and eventually the pair are separated. The pair stare at each other with unrestrained hatred as The Doctor makes his way to the ring, mic in hand.

The Doctor: You two got such an issue with each other, how's about we settle it the proper way, in the ring!

The pair both nod, but the security men don't release them

The Doctor: And to make sure you two can work it all out, your match is gonna be this: A Hell in a Cell match at the enxt official RDCW Pay-Per-View!

Charlie nods first. Fantastic pauses, but nods as well

The Doctor: Great. Now get the hell out of my sight before I fire both your asses!

Security escorts both men from the ring, and The Doctor follows

*Grimm is walking down a hallway when he bumps into, literally, Chesty Larou.

Chesty: "Ahh!"

Grimm: "Excuse me."

Chesty: "Oh, hi, Grimm! I didn't see you! Hey, while you're here, have you seen Darth? I've been looking for him all day."

Grimm: "No. No I haven't. Actually, Chesty, the last time I saw Darth was Friday when the two of you disappeared."

*Chesty blushes a bit at the mention of this.

Chesty: "Tee Hee! Please don't say anything about that to anyone yet."

Grimm: "I won't. I'm sure he's around here somewhere. He's probably getting ready for our match tonight. He knows the Allied Powers aren't to be taken lightly and that whoever wins tonight will be in position for a Donkey Lovin Tag Title match."

Chesty: "You're probably right. I have to go. Thanks, Grimm!"

*Chesty waves and walks off down the hallway. Grimm stands for a moment, as if in thought. He shakes his head.

Grimm (to himelf): "Didn't see me?"

*Then he continues walking down the hallway as Havoc hits a commercial break.

*El Superbeasto is seen backstage, conversing with Los Monstrous Azules.

SB: "Amigos, tonight is not our fight. For the moment, I agree to set aside our differences until this chihuahua and his puta XPW are dealt with, si?"

SP: "Si. We deal with this treacherous stain on wrestling. But then, we have score to settle."

*Perdicion and Daga stand nose to (almost) nose with Superbeasto.

SB: "Si."

*A large, muscular arm grabs Superbeasto and turns him around as Two-Ton Tommy steps up into the Giant Luchadore's face.

TTT (through clenched teeth): "But tonight most definitely is our fight. I'll never forgive you bastards for what you've done to Nuriko."

SB: "You want it, Senor Tomas. You got it. You will be slammed. Then I will chokeslam you to OBLIVION!"

TTT: "Not in this life, pal!"

*Balls Nasy is lacing up his boots when Slick Willie comes walking up.*

Willie: Boy, Ah expect you to take out that Sammitch in your match tonight. The Company is counting on you. Once Charlie wins the Lightweight belt, I want to make sure the competition is well aware of the danger involved in trying to take it from us.

*Slick pats Nasty on the shoulder.*

Balls: Don't worry. No matter how the match is called, Sammitch isn't walking out tonight. I guarantee that. *(He looks at Slick's hand. The tycoon removes it from Nasty's shoulder.)* And another thing. Don't you dare call me boy again.

*Backstage*

Fat Reatrd:"Buhdawd Nowhereman tonight you go one on one with Joe Mama for what will be the last time we see the Euro trash title. Does it bother you that if you lose,it will give the Bastardos even more gold?"


NM:"Firstly Fats,when it comes to a member of the Bastardo family,theres no such thing as a 'one on one' match,cause you know the rest of the family cant help but get involved. Secondly does it bother me that they will hold all the gold? Nope,you should all know full well that I cant give two shits about titles these days,so if I lose,it wont bother me at all............but that said,I aint gonna lose!"

FR:"But as you say the Bastardos might just make sure you dont win!"

NM:"Oh,I'll win. Maybe I'll get pinned & lose the belt,but with the damage I am gonna do to Joe Mama tonight,there is no way anyone would be able to call me loser!"

*Backstage*

King Snarf Rules: Champ, you've just heard Nowhereman's comments. What is your response?

JM: First of all, with the ECW Reunion PPV coming up, I have to give my props to my opponent. No one has done more to bring me to this point in my career than Nowhereman himself. He gave me a great opportunity in Evil Cunt Wrestling. He brought me into the RDCW after ECW folded. If I have a mentor in this business, Nowhereman is that mentor.

KSR: Getting a little nostalgic as the PPV gets closer?

JM: Just stating the facts, boyo. Here's another set of facts. Nowhereman, the last time you and I faced each other in a match, I was the Eurotrash Champion and I took the Inter-Cunt-Inental Championship away from you. I did it solo, I did it decisively, and we both know that the Joe Mama-Lock forced you to tap out. Tonight, we face off for the second time and it's clear to me that you haven't learned from the past. You can play off what these titles mean to both of us, but you can't ignore what Joe Mama/Nowhereman II means to this promotion and to the ECW Reunion. It's student versus teacher again. It's the same titles on the line. And you KNOW I'll be bringing every move and every trick in my arsenal! I beat you before. I'll beat you tonight!

KSR: You seem to be pretty confident, Champ. Any final thoughts?

JM: The titles were unified by me once. Tonight I'll unify them again. It's not a matter of "Will I beat Nowhereman?"! It's a simple question of "How badly will I beat Nowhereman?"!!!

*Joe Mama walks off-camera...cut to Marcum and Monroe*

Madman: That's it! That's two damn scoops I gotta get!!!

http://www.rkmbs.com/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/440786/an/0/page/0#440786

DCMB World Heavyweight Champion MisterJLA is seen watching footage of famous Dark Lords matches. JLA looks impressed, and is writing notes down.

In walks backstage interviewer "King Snarf Rules"

King Snarf Rules: MisterJLA? A moment of your time, please?

JLA: Can't you see that I'm busy? Who are you anyway?

KSR: King Snarf Rules!

JLA: No he doesn't. He blows.

KSR: No...King Snarf Rules.

JLA: Listen. I just told you. King Snarf blows.

KSR: NO! King! Snarf! Rules!

JLA: If you say that again, I'll give you a Final Justice that you'll never, ever forget. King Snarf blows.

KSR: NO! My name is King Snarf Rules!

JLA: What?

KSR: No. James White is the ring announcer. King Snarf Rules.

JLA: MOTHERFUCKER!

JLA winds up his leg, and connects with a devastating Final Justice. He then leaves his own locker room, with "King Snarf Rules" in a heap.

JLA walks some more to cool down, and walks into Chesty Lerou.

Chesty: Oh! Hello JLA!

JLA: Save it. I was hitting you with some of my best lines and moves next week, but you went off with that tosser Darth. You must have really wore him out, because I saw that Grimm doesn't even know where he is.

But now at Trippin' Tuesday, the Dark Lords are going to pay the price. They stand in our way of World Tag Team Titles, and Darth is appearantly standing between me and your pants.

Howdy and I will show no mercy at Trippin' Tuesday!

MisterJLA storms off...

<"Let's Get it Started" blares over the speakers as Captain Sammitch makes his way to the ring amid the cheers of the crowd. Sammitch slips between the ropes, acknowledges the crowd, and is handed a microphone.>

CS: I'm feelin' good tonight.

<Cheers from the crowd.>

CS: It was unfortunate that I lost the tag titles for myself and PenWing last week. I wish I could make it up to PenWing somehow, but I think the best way I can make it up to SD-6 and to you fans out there is to officially enter the heavyweight division.

Marcum: Is he crazy? There's no way Sammitch can stand up to the superstars in the Heavyweight Division!

CS: I know there are some of you out there that may not think I stand much of a chance here. But let me assure you that I've been preparing for this for some time. And I think my victory at INVADED! shows that it doesn't matter if I'm the biggest guy in the ring or not. Archie Griffin said "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." And believe me, I've got more than enough fight for this division.

<Pops from the crowd.>

Monroe: Captain Sammitch is showing very little fear of the heavyweights here tonight.

Marcum: He'll learn his lesson once Balls Nasty gets through with him!

CS: Tonight, I am going up against Balls Nasty, who is, as his name suggests, a pretty tough guy. I'm not gonna lie - Balls Nasty can dish out punishment with the best of 'em. But while Balls has his strengths, I have mine.

Marcum: Heh. And what might those be?

CS: You'd better believe I'm gonna be on my toes tonight, like every other night. Because even though I might've let SD-6 down last week, I'm more than capable of redeeming myself in the ring against any opponent. And Balls - if you have any plans for making trouble outside the ring, I'd warn you not to underestimate SD-6. You have your friends, I have mine. I'll see you back here in a little while.

<"Let's Get it Started" hits again and the crowd cheers loudly as Captain Sammitch exits the ring and heads out of the arena via the ramp.>

We come back from commercial to find King Snarf standing in the ring with a ladder propped up in the center.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to take this time to say a few words about tonight's match. Y'see, for the past few months, things haven't been going so well for me. And that is all owed to one man- Penwing.

At the Rumble, I was one of the many competitors. It was my dream to win it, being the first RDCW World Champ to compete in and win the Rumble. I even made it to the final four. Yet, the ultimate victory was taken away from. Taken by PenWing.

At Robblemania, all I wanted was to defend my title and celebrate in style. Yet the actions of PenWing and his little band of misfits resulted in a no-contest, even though it was clear who the ultimate victor would be.

And then at Rehash, PenWing besmirched my image, leading some to say that he beat me.

And it goes beyond matches. He has gone out of his way to belittle my accomplishments. I've beaten the likes of BSAMS, TK-069, and Kristogar Velo with nothing more than a headlock, which is not as easy as it sounds. And, I am the longest reigning Big Cheese Champ in history. Yet, to hear Penwing tell it, I'm a putz who got lucky.

Yep, things haven't gone well for Snarf. But like the song says... *At this point, Snarf starts climbing the ladder till he's sitting on top of it.* Like the song says, I will be sittin' on top when it all goes wrong again.

Yeah, Penwing's taken from me. But something happened last week. Last week, I started to take it back. Joe and I beat six other men to become the Tag Champs. Last week, last week Penwing said the match would be a preview of tonight's match. Well, you know what Pen? I think you are absolutely right. You said earlier, it's a question of who wants it more. Well, after all you've put me through, I want it pretty damn badly. Not just so the Champ can have his belt again, but to take something from you. To show these people I am not some ham-n-egger like you want me to be. Tonight, there will be no "Sudden Death Rules". Tonight, only King Snarf rules. *King Snarf sits on the ladder as we fade to commercial.*

*Backstage in the XPW dressing room,XPW world heavyweight champion Darien Irons scowls at the monitor in disgust.*

IRONS:Shut the fuck up,Snarf...nobody gives a shit what you think and you're making me late for my appointment to kick Oakley's ass.

*Irons' manager,Moronica Lame,comes up to him in a dress even sluttier than Lizzie Boring's(if that's possible).*

MORONICA:Forget about Snarf,champ....Just think about the victory party we can have when your win your match against Oakley and retain the XPW world title.

*Moronica starts to put on a striptease act straight out of one of her porn videos,at which point the show cuts to a promo for the Rob's Damn Lucha Libre show.*

We come back from commercial to see Chris Oakley in the Bond Brigade dressing room swapping his customary "KILL 'EM ALL/LET GOD SORT 'EM OUT!" T-shirt for one that reads "EC F'N W";his face is liberally covered in camoflage paint and he has a glare in his eye that would intimidate King Kong.He's loaded for bear and looking to shred Darien Irons like wet paper.Lacing up his boots,he slams his locker door with determination.

Chris:Tonight I'm going to crucify you,Irons.

Ian Bond walks up to Chris and hands him a "SCREW XPW" cap.

Ian:Thought you might want this,old sport.
Chris:You thought right.(grins as he puts the cap on)Now let's go give Mr.Irons a crash course in RDCW Ass-Kicking 101.
Ian:My sentiments precisely.

With that,Chris and his manager start making their way to the ring.

Tag Division Match: Dark Lords vs. Allied Powers

The CheeseDome darkens as "Black Wedding Intro" plays. The matte black, Gigeresque sarcophagus is rolled out onto the rampway. "Backstage Pass to Hell" kicks in as the sarcophagus opens and Grimm emerges to the cheers of the RDCW fans.

Grimm heads down to ringside and climbs atop the turnbuckles, in the crucifix pose as flashbulbs pop. In the ring, he pulls out the Cell to Hell, holding it up for the fans to see. He points to the entranceway and dials.

Nothing happens. He pauses for a moment, before dialing again. Again, nothing happens. Grimm looks down at the phone in his hands and realizes it's a fake.

As Rob's Killer Instinct Ripoff music begins, the Allied Powers enter the arena and head to ringside. Grimm looks up and utters one word: "Fuck."

JLA notices this, and begins to do a very arrogant, and comical dance. He even starts to do a little bit of breakdancing, and even the stern and usually angry Captain Howdy can’t help but laugh.

Grimm knows that he’s in for it. JLA motions for Howdy to take the ring from the right, and JLA slowly enters from the left.

Grimm takes a stance in the middle, and nervously looks from side to side, trying to anticipate which opponent will enter the ring and challenge him first.

In a move based on perfect timing, both MisterJLA and Captain Howdy slide under the bottom rope at the exact moment, and charge at Grimm.

JLA tackles Grimm around the legs, Howdy pushes Grimm over, and begins to stomp him while JLA holds onto his legs. Referee Lothar orders JLA out of the ring, and the match has begun!

Captain Howdy, the UK representative of the Allied Powers, starts off with a clear advantage over the fallen Grimm. Howdy reels off a series of knee drops, each one carefully set-up to land on Grimm’s head. Howdy then pulls Grimm up, and executes a textbook brainbuster.

Howdy again pulls Grimm up off the canvas, and this time Irish Whips him into a neutral corner. He runs full speed at Grimm…but Grimm moves! Howdy hits the turnbuckles, and staggers out of the corner. Grimm seizes the opportunity, and hits Howdy with a belly-to-belly suplex!

Grimm realizes that to defeat a team by himself, he must go for broke…so Grimm climbs to the top rope, waits for his enemy to stand up, and then connects with a beautiful flying clothesline that catches Howdy flush in the chest! Grimm then picks up his opponent, and merely delivers a simple body slam…but it looks like a set-up for another dangerous top rope maneuver!

Grimm again climbs to the top rope, and crashes down on Howdy’s chest with a flying elbow drop! Two high impact top rope moves in a row, and now Grimm is taunting JLA, and apparently feeling good about his chances for a win.

Grimm understands however, that the match is far from over, so his continues the attack on Captain Howdy. He backs his opponent into the corner, climbs the second turnbuckle while Howdy is pressed against the turnbuckles, and fires off punches to his head. The crowd chants the number of each punch (1, 2, 3…). Grimm, like all seasoned wrestlers stops at ten, and Howdy then falls face first out of the corner, to the cheers and laughs of the crowd.

Again Grimm pushes the Captain into the corner, but this time he places him on the top rope. Grimm follows him to the top, and appears to be setting him up for…yes, he delivers the feared “Triple 6 Bomb”, a vicious top rope powerbomb!

Grimm goes for the pin, but JLA breaks the count at two! Referee Lothar begins to shove JLA back to the Allied corner, and Grimm punches the canvas in frustration. He knows that if Darth were here, he could have neutralized JLA.

Grimm pulls Howdy off the canvas by his hair, and Howdy sees that Lothar is still trying to get JLA back onto the ring apron. Howdy cleverly (and illegally) his Grimm with an uppercut to his package. Grimm falls down in pain…could Howdy be setting up Grimm for a Final Justice?

Howdy has now turned the tables, and drags his opponent over to the Allied corner, where he tags in JLA. With Howdy refusing to take the ring apron, poor Lothar again has his back turned to the action in the ring. JLA looks around, stands Grimm up, and goes for the Final Justice, his crippling finisher which is a swift kick to the nuts, and the only move in JLA’s wrestling arsenal. He goes for the kick…but Grimm catches his leg in mid-air!

Holding JLA’s leg with one hand, he pushes JLA down with the other! Still clutching his leg, Grimm applies the Grimmlock, his painful rendition of a sharpshooter!



JLA is trapped in the middle of the ring! Lothar asks JLA if he wants to quit, and JLA yells out in pain “NOOOOOOOOOO!” Later on, Lothar looks concerned, and glances at the ring announcer’s table. He may stop the match.

JLA finally screams at Captain Howdy “Get me out of this, you meff!”

Howdy rushes in, and hits Grimm with a clothesline to the back of the head, breaking the hold.

Lothar has had it! He shouts at Howdy “One more run-in, or if I have to warn you guys about returning to your corner again, I’ll call for a DQ, and the Dark Lords will get the win!”

During this time, Grimm and JLA pull themselves off the mat. JLA makes sure that Lothar is distracted, and hits Grimm with the Final Justice, just as Grimm turns to face his challenger.



JLA makes the quick tag to Howdy, and places Grimm on his own shoulders, as Howdy climbs to the top rope.

Captain Howdy lands a top-rope clothesline, completing the “Allied Assault”.



JLA quickly leaves the ring to avoid the DQ, and Howdy goes for the pin.

1…2…Grimm kicks out!

The crowd goes wild, and Howdy has a look of utter disbelief on his face!

Howdy makes a tag into JLA, who still appears to be in severe pain due to the time he spent in the Grimmlock.

Howdy sets Grimm up in a piledriver position, and nods to JLA.

JLA and Howdy complete a double powerbomb, which they refer to as the “Allied Bombing”


Howdy rushes out of the ring, while JLA goes for the pin.

1…2…3

The Allied Powers remain undefeated, but their celebration is cut short when "La Grange" starts playing, and Slick Willie Williams walks out to the stage, flanked by two of the most gorgeous women ever seen. The Allied Powers quickly exit through the crowd, as Slick turns on the mic in his hand.

Slick: Girls, say hello to Grimm.

Girls: Hi Grimmy!

Grimm slowly brings lifts his head up, and when he sees the girls, a look of shock comes over his face.

Slick: Ah see you recognize Annie and Sindy.

Monroe: Annie and Sindy?

Marcum: Those are the girls Grimm took on his double date!

Slick: Ah'll let you in on a little secret, Grimm. It was no accident that you happened to take out Annie and Sindy last Friday night. Ah arranged it. Ya see, Grimm, these girls...are on mah payroll!

Marcum: Slick set Grimm up on a date? But, could that mean-

Slick: And now...

Slick pulls out a cell phone from his pocket and proceeds to dial.

Slick: So is he!

The lights in the Cheesedome are replaced with a red glow as the "Imperial March" starts playing over the speakers and Darth rises from beneath the stage. Grimm slowly gets to his feet as the Sith Lord enters the ring.

Slick: Darth, FINISH HIM!

Darth gives a swift kick to Grimm's belly, and lifts him into the Sabre Stretch. He then swings him out, executing the Darkside Slam. Slick and his girls enter the ring, and Darth stands before him.

Slick: Now, kneel before your master.

Darth kneels before Slick, who then holds up the cell to hell. The crowd can only boo their displeasure, as Slick laughs triumphantly in the ring.

Captain Sammitch vs Balls Nasty

Company,
Always on the run.
Destiny,
is the rising sun.
I was born 6-gun in my hand,
Behind a gun, I make my final stand.
That's why they call me...
Bad Company. And I can't deny,
Bad Company, til the day I die. til the day I die. til the day I die...

Balls Nasty makes his way to the ring. After he has made it halfway down the ramp, Slick Willie enters and makes his way to the announce table. He picks up a set of headphones and sits down.

Monroe: What in the hell do you think you’re doing here?

Marcum: Ignore him, Slick. He’s just afraid of being upstaged even more than usual. Personally, I’m honored to have you with us tonight.

Slick: Well, Ah do appreciate the kind words there, Madman. Ah am just here to show my unwavering support for one of my wrestlers.

Marcum: As a fantastic manager like you should.

Monroe: Could you ever be a bigger brownnoser than you are right now?

Marcum: That’s insulting. I haven’t even gotten warmed up yet.

Captain Sammitch makes his way to the ring as “Let’s Get It Started” plays. He acknowledges the crowd has he walks down the ramp, choosing to ignore Balls Nasty’s yelling and taunting. Finally, captain Sammitch enters the ring.

The bell sounds and Nasty charges. Captain Sammitch ducks out of the way and is able to pull off a drop kick on Nasty’s back. Sammitch takes his boots to Nasty’s side while the big man is down on the mat.

Monroe: Doesn’t look like Balls Nasty is doing very well, Slick.

Slick: That’s Mr. Williams to you.

Sammitch pulls Nasty off the mat and sets up for a DDT, but Nasty reverses and suplexes Sammitch. Nasty gets up and drops a couple of quick elbows drops into Sammitch’s midsection. He then gets up and struts for the audience before putting Sammitch in a figure four.

Slick: See, that’s what we in the Family Business call tactics. You take out Captain Sammitch’s legs, and you’ve eliminated the threat.

Marcum: Why, that is brilliant planning!

Monroe: Would you stop?!?

Sammitch grimaces as he reaches for the ropes. Slowly he inches towards it. His hand reaches out and finally grasps the bottom rope. The ref has to force Balls Nasty to break the hold. As Nasty walks over to pull Sammitch up, the SD-6'er kicks Nasty in the knee. Sammitch bounces off the ropes and it’s a flying cross body.

Both men get to their feet. Sammitch runs into the ropes again. He leaps into the air for another cross body, but Nasty catches him and executes a spinebuster.

Slick: We in the Family Business have an aggressive acquisition plan for the RDCW. Once Charlie acquires the Lightweight belt, Joe Mama will consolidate the IC and Eurotrash belts; and King Snarf will once again be the Big Cheese Heavyweight Champion. In one night, the Family Business will display why it is the premier faction in all of wrestling.

Nasty is now in a corner, removing the padding from a turnbuckle. The ref attempts to stop him, but Nasty just pushes him down. Once the buckle is exposed, Nasty returns to Sammitch and picks him up off the mat. Looking at Slick at the announce table, Nasty Irish whips Sammitch into the corner. Nasty then picks Sammitch up and drives his back into the buckle again. The ref yells for the bell. Slick takes off his headphones and leaves the table.

Monroe: He’s up to no good.

Marcum: You’re just jealous because he’s a better play-by-play man than you.

Nasty has laid Sammitch out in the ring. The ref tries to pull him back. Nasty picks up the ref and tosses him over the ropes and into the audience. Slick Willie has jumped into the ring and hands a steel chair to Nasty. Nasty snatches it and lays it across Sammitch’s face. He then climbs one of the turnbuckles.

Monroe: Oh my Gawd! He’s going for the Kentucky Falls with that chair right across Captain Sammitch’s face.

Marcum: This’ll be fantastic. Sammitch’s head will pop like a zit!

RDCW security has now entered the ring and block Nasty’s descent. Slick Willie dives out of the ring as he notices Penwing running to ringside. Penwing reaches in and pulls Sammitch out by his leg and carries him to the back. Balls Nasty is now standing in the middle of the ring, covered by RDCW security as the picture fades to commercial.


XPW Championship: Darien Irons vs Chris Oakley

Darien Irons struts down to the ring with no entrance music, Rob Blackandblue by his side. He enters the ring and tries to taunt the crowd by briefly pulling his tights down and whipping out his penis, but the ref – Lothar – stops him by telling Darien that he’ll declare him the loser before the match has even begun if he pulls a stunt like that. Darien is openly annoyed and about to get into a shouting match with Lothar, but his manager pulls him aside and calms him down. Darien, instead, stands in the center of the ring and yells at the crowd to 'Suck this, bitches!' As he stands and gloats Alice In Chains’ “Rooster” starts and the Cheesedome lights abruptly go out; when they come back up moments later, Irons finds himself on the wrong end of a barrage of roundhouse rights by the challenger, Chris Oakley. He then gets nailed by back-to-back WMDs. Chris executes the Lock and Load on the XPW world heavyweight champion before clamping him in the Snuff the Rooster.

As the XPW Champion thrashes in pain and desperately tries to get to the ropes, Rob Blackandblue tries to enter the ring and interfere in the match only to have Ian Bond nail him in the chops with a karate kick. Darien Iron, seeing his manager lay out by Ian Bond, tries to claw his way anywhere to get the hold broken but Chris tightens up the submission hold. Darien’s hand drops once, then twice, and then a third time – he’s tapped out!!! Referee Lothar calls for the bell to end the match. “Rooster” starts again as Lothar hands Chris Oakley the XPW Championship belt. The crowd applauds and chants Chris’ name as he stands at each ring corner and raises his newly won title. Then he joins Ian Bond outside the ring and the pair leaves the ring area as Rob stands in the ring, alternately berating Chris, Ian, and even Darien.


Hardcore Porn Series Match Three: Wednesday vs TK-069

TK-069 swept this series and won the Hardcore Porn Title from Wednesday in the final meeting of hardcore-style matches with an excellent balance of martial arts ground attacks and high-risk high-flying air attacks. Another Orchepocalypse sealed the victory for TK-069.

Lightweight Faggot Title Table Eliminations Match: SPAMM vs James Fantastic vs Charlie vs Johnny Evil

Monroe: And now, folks, it's time for four of the RDCW's most talented lightweights to go head-to-head in a table elimination match!

Marcum: The Doctor has ruled that the match will also run a rumble-style entry system, to minimize the violence brought about by Fantastic and Charlie's feud!

Monroe: Man, those two really hate each other!

SPAMM was the first down to the ring, followed by Charlie. The Company Pitbull proceeded to dismantle the champ, whipping him into the corner and brutally pummeling him before lining him up for a superplex through a table. However Spandex Monkey Man leapt off the ropes into a Lou Thesz Press, knocking Charlie to the mat but failing to put him through the table. SPAMM then went to the top rope and hit a Spandex Monkey Drop before setting up a superplex of his own. However at that point the bell went and Johnny Evil came down to the ring with Ariel at his side. SPAMM turned his attention to his old foe, and hit Johnny with a Spandex Monkey Slam before locking in a Monkey Wrench.

Marcum: What is Spandex Monkey Man doing! The only way to eliminate competitors from the match is to put them through a table!

Monroe: He's softening Johnny Evil up for a table smash!

However Charlie had got to his feet, and mule kicked SPAMM in the back of the head before picking him up and hitting SPAMM with a Big Business in an effort to put him through a table. However he misjudged the move and SPAMM managed to miss the table by inches. A visibly pissed Charlie then proceeded to cut loose on SPAMM, viciously pummeling before going for The Tower of London. However the RDCW's resident superhero managed to squirm free of the move before dropkicking Charlie into the table, eliminating him just as Fantastic arrived in the ring.

Monroe: Charlie is not pleased at being the first to be the first to be eliminated!

Fantastic and SPAMM then ganged up on Johnny Evil, hitting him with a double dropkick and double suplex before Fantastic went for The One and Only. However Charlie knocked him off the top rope, and entered the ring as Ariel leapt up onto the apron to distract the ref. Charlie hit Fantastic with The Tower of London, and threw Johnny a chair.

Marcum: Johnny's getting ready to Make Flubber!

Sure enough, Johnny threw the chair into Fantastic's face before hitting the hook kick to stun him. However SPAMM hit a spinning Atomic drop to put Johnny through the table. Ariel, in a desperate effort to distract the ref, flashed him and Charlie dragged Fantastic into the wreckage of the table, leading the ref to assume that Fantastic had been put through the table and eliminate him.

Monroe: That's not fair! Johnny Evil went through the table, not Fantastic!

Marcum: The ref's just calling it as he sees it! And talking about what he can see, Ariel should do that more often!

Charlie dragged Fantastic out under the rope, and proceeded to pummel him at ringside whilst SPAMM and Johnny Evil faced off in the ring. SPAMM initially had the advantage, using his speed to blitzkrieg Johnny with a series of chops before bouncing off the ropes and hitting a spear. He then went to suplex Johnny through the table, but Ariel once again distracted the ref, allowing Charlie to enter the ring and hit SPAMM with the chair Johnny had used earlier. However Fantastic had come too at ringside and hit Charlie with The One And Only, knocking him too the mat. The ref forced both men to exit the ring, but as he was distracted Johnny hit the Making of Flubber before locking the CTX. As the ref turned back to the match Johnny broke the hold and hit SPAMM with a WEDway PeopleMover, but once again SPAMM managed to avoid the table.

Monroe: Spandex Monkey Man just won't go through the table! He might just come back yet

Marcum: Against The Family Business? You must be joking!

Right on cue, The Legbreakers ran down to the ring. Fantastic attempted to prevent their interference, but Charlie grabbed him and hit a Pitbull DDT, clearing their route to the ring. Charlie distracted the ref by brandishing a chair at no one in particular whilst The Legbreakers Took Out The Trash on SPAMM. Johnny then grabbed a table and smashed it over SPAMM’s head, garnering the victory. Charlie promptly handed his teammate the belt.

Marcum: Spandex Monkey Man has been defeated! The Lightweight belt is back in the hands of the Family Business!

Monroe: They cheated their way to that belt! Just like they cheat every time!

Marcum: You just can't stand the fact that the Family is so successful!


Women’s Boobie Belt: Sneaky Bunny vs Meeko

Without actually getting in the ring and interfering, Grace made her presence felt in this match and was able to distract Meeko enough so that she was never able to mount any serious offense. Sneaky Bunny took various plays out of her teammates’ books, utilizing King Snarf-inspired headlocks, Stupid Doog’s original brawling style, and Joe Mama’s hardcore mat-wrestling to dominate Meeko. But it was Sneaky Bunny’s own finisher – Taxidermy – that ended the match and helped her retain her title.


Body Slam Match: El Superbeasto vs Two-Ton Tommy

El Superbeasto’s size and strength advantages led to his victory. What made this match interesting were the numerous variations on the simple body slam that the Giant Luchador employed to seal his win.

Eurotrash/Inter-Cunt-Inental Unification Match: Nowhereman vs Joe Mama

“Faded” played as Joe Mama, with a grim, serious look on his face, walked down the ramp to the ring. The crowd was divided between support and derision, but the Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion paid to attention to the fans. He entered the ring, removed his title belt from around his waist, and held it in front of him, just staring at it for a few moments before finally relinquishing it to the referee. Then he stepped back from the center of the ring and waited for his opponent to arrive.

Monroe: It’s obvious that Joe Mama knows that he’s got a lot on the line tonight. And his opponent is one of wrestling’s elite.

Madman: Take a look in his eyes, Monroe. No one has as much intensity as the Family’s Enforcer! Nowhereman may be the bigger dog in this fight, but Joe Mama has proven that he has the will to win!

“Creeping Death” finally started. Joe Mama glanced all around him until he finally saw Nowhereman walking down the ramp, dragging the Eurotrash belt behind him and spewing obscenities at him. Nowhereman entered the ring and tossed his title to the ref while stepping right in front of Joe Mama and continuing the tirade. Joe Mama seemed to be quietly taking the verbal abuse, glaring into his opponent’s face the whole time. Finally, Nowhereman slapped Joe Mama in the face, screamed “I made you and I’ll break you, CUNT!”, and stepped back to flash a two-finger salute.

Madman: Nowhereman’s making it clear that he has no regard for either title or his opponent!

Monroe: But why is Joe Mama just taking it? Could Nowhereman actually be intimidating him?

Madman: I’ve gotta believe that he’s storing his rage, waiting for the bell to ring!

The bell sounded and, uncharacteristic for both competitors, the pair slowly circled each other. Neither man seemed willing to make the first move in this match. Nowhereman continued to berate Joe Mama, who stayed silent. Finally they locked up, with Nowhereman getting the first advantage by way of a headlock that he used to hold Joe Mama while driving punches into his face. Joe Mama was able to lift Nowhereman and deliver a belly-to-back suplex, but Nowhereman kept the hold locked in. The two manage to their feet and Nowhereman Irish whipped Joe Mama into the ropes. Nowhereman tried for a Cunt-Fu Kick, but Joe Mama ducked under the big boot, swept Nowhereman’s other foot out from under him, and tried to lock in the Joe Mama-Lock. Nowhereman struggled against it, eventually getting hold of the ropes and forcing his opponent to break the hold. As Nowhereman stood Joe Mama motions “by that much”.

Madman: Joe Mama’s definitely in the game, Monroe!

Monroe: We’re getting treated to a hell of a match!

The pair prepared to lock up again, but Joe Mama drove a knee into Nowhereman’s gut and proceeded to work on the back of his head with closed fists. Joe Mama flung Nowhereman into a corner and then hit him with a running clothesline. After an eight count’s worth of driving Nowhereman’s head into the top turnbuckle, Joe Mama set up a standing suplex – maybe a Brain Buster for a quick win? But he wasn’t able to complete the move because Nowhereman clamped a hand on his throat. Nowhereman dropped to his feet and delivered a Fuck Off Slam, driving Joe Mama to the mat. Then Nowhereman flipped Joe Mama to his stomach and locked in a Cuntface Crippler.

Monroe: Folks, we may be seeing the end of this match! Nowhereman has his finisher locked in tight!

Madman: Joe Mama has never tapped out to anyone! He’s got too much fight in him!

Joe Mama crawled towards the ropes, but Nowhereman pulled him back away and stopped any more attempts to reach the ropes. But Joe Mama was able to get to his hands and knees and execute a basic Greco-Roman sit-out and shoulder roll to get a quick pinning combination. Nowhereman kicked out of it and was the first to his feet. He started to work over Joe Mama with punches and kicks, eventually hitting a few Fucking Cuntlines. Nowhereman set Joe Mama up for a Poof Smasher but, as he brought his opponent up to drive him back to the mat, Joe Mama assaulted him with more closed fists. Nowhereman fell to his back, but the momentum caused Joe Mama to stumble forward, falling through the ropes and to the ring floor.

As Joe Mama got to his feet, Nowhereman met him outside the ring. The two competitors traded punches and Nowhereman Irish whipped Joe Mama into the ring stairs. As Joe Mama stumbled forward, Nowhereman went for a Fucking Cuntline but Joe Mama was able to turn it into an Enforcer. Before the ref could count to ten, Joe Mama rolled into the ring, then quickly rolled back out and started hammering Nowhereman with his fists. Joe Mama lifted Nowhereman to his feet and drove his back into the ring steps three times. Nowhereman raked Joe Mama’s eyes, rolled him into the ring and then entered the ring himself.

Back in the ring, Nowhereman and Joe Mama continued to brawl. Joe Mama gained the upper hand, Irish whipping Nowhereman into the ropes, hitting another Enforcer, and applying the Joe Mama-Lock in the center of the ring. Nowhereman tried to crawl to the ropes but, with Joe Mama’s knee planted in the back of his neck, he wasn’t going anywhere. Somehow, though, Nowhereman was able to power out of the hold, breaking Joe Mama’s grip on his legs. Joe Mama pulled Nowhereman to his feet again, but Nowhereman drove a knee into his gut and set up what looked to be an East Coast Hammer.

Monroe: Nowhereman’s using Joe Mama’s own finisher on him!

Madman: Nooooooooooo!!!

Joe Mama broke the set up, landing on his feet. Nowhereman was about to hit another clothesline, but Joe Mama clamped a hand on Nowhereman’s trachea.

Madman: Joe Mama’s gonna hit a Fuck Off Slam!!!

Monroe: Don’t be so sure, Marcum!

Nowhereman grabbed a rope, which kept Joe Mama from lifting him for the big choke slam, and whipped him into the ropes. But Joe Mama kept a grip on the ropes as Nowhereman ran in for another clothesline, drove a shoulder into Nowhereman’s gut and, as Nowhereman stumbled back, grabbed his head, set him up, and hit the Brain Buster. Joe Mama rushed to a ring corner and hit a Flying Tea Bag Slam. Finally, Joe Mama hooked a leg and the ref counted the pinfall.

Madman: Yes!!! Yes!!! YES!!! Joe Mama won again!!!!

Monroe: What an incredible match! These guys gave heart and soul to this match and to this crowd!

Madman: We have our NEW Euro-Cunt-Inental Champion! What a match! What a victory!!!

Monroe: I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing a rematch! And I’m looking forward to it!

“Faded” played as the ref raised Joe Mama’s arm in victory. Joe Mama could barely get to his knees, much less his feet, so the ref draped a title over each shoulder and helped him to his feet. Joe Mama leaned against a corner and raised the titles to a surprisingly appreciative crowd. He turned around to see Nowhereman stand and face him. Nowhereman gave Joe Mama a two-finger salute and said, “Cunt!” Joe Mama smiled back, flipped Nowhereman the bird, and said “Fag!” Nowhereman pointed to him and said, “You better have something in the tank for The Reunion, Papa Joe!” to which Joe Mama replied, “You know I will, Boss!” Nowhereman left the ring and, after a little more celebration, Joe Mama followed suit.


Heavyweight Cheese Championship: PenWing (Champ) vs. King Snarf

"When It All Goes Wrong Again" blasts over the speakers as King Snarf makes his way to the ring, ladder at hand. Snarf brings the ladder into the ring and leans it against the corner ropes. "Gonna Fly Now" hits, and the fans roar to their feet as the Big Cheese Champ, PenWing, makes his way to the ring, Sherwood held high. PenWing hands the Sherwood to a kid reaching over the barrier, and enters the ring. He raises the Big Cheese belt for the crowd, and hands it to Lothar, who places it on the hook and signals for the belt to be raised. Before the bell rings, Snarf, who quietly moved near the ladder, takes it, and swings it into PenWing.

Monroe: Snarf is wasting no time in his attempt to win the Big Cheese belt back from PenWing!

Marcum: Win it back? Snarf is defending HIS title!

Snarf lays the ladder over PenWing and climbs the corner turnbuckle. He jumps off to execute the Wildsault, but PenWing manages to get out from under the ladder, and Snarf is the only one to feel the effects of the devastating move. PenWing pulls Snarf to his feet, and quickly whips him into the corner ropes. He then picks up the ladder, and runs at Snarf to spear him. But Snarf gets out of the way, and as the ladder gets tangled in the ropes, Snarf hits PenWing with a running clothesline, sending him hard to the mat. Wasting no time, Snarf hits PenWing with a Bastardbomb, onto the ladder. He then rolls out of the ring, and reaches under to pull out a new ladder.

Marcum: Snarf is getting down the business tonight! All he has to do is set up that ladder, and he will have successfully defended his title!

Monroe: Don't count the champ out until the match is won.

Snarf sets the ladder up inside the ring and begins to climb. When he's almost near the top, PenWing finally stirs, and looks up to see Snarf getting ready to reach for the belt. PenWing uses the ladder Snarf is on to help get himself back his feet. This causes the ladder to shake a bit, and Snarf almost loses his balance. Looking down, Snarf yells to PenWing, who is picking up the other ladder.

Snarf: It's too late, Pinkywinky!

PenWing holds the ladder horizontally in front of him, and rams it into Snarf's ladder, knocking it over, and sending Snarf flying to the ground outside the ring. PenWing then sets up the ladder he is holding next to the ropes.

Marcum: What is he doing?

PenWing climbs the ladder, and leaps off of it, hitting Snarf with the High Holy Howe outside the ring.

Monroe: Buhgawd! They're both insane!

After a few moments, the two begin to stir. PenWing gets to his feet first, but Snarf isn't far behind, and he sneaks up to him to lock in the Headlock. PenWing struggles, but he can't break out.

Marcum: Once PenWing passes out, it will be nothing for Snarf to climb up and reclaim his title!

PenWing manages pull Snarf so they are facing the ring. He then uses the ring apron to help as he flips himself over Snarf, breaking the hold, and landing on his feet behind him. PenWing then dropkicks Snarf into the apron.

Monroe: PenWing broke the Headlock! Again!

PenWing climbs into the ring, and quickly sets up the other ladder underneath the belt. As PenWing begins to climb, Snarf gets back in the ring, and starts climbing the other side of the ladder. They reach the top at the same time, and begin trading blows. Snarf disorients PenWing with a quick punch to the stomach, and begins setting him up for the Bastardbomb. However, when Snarf lifts PenWing up, PenWing somehow manages to take control of the momentum, and he pulls Snarf off the ladder with him. Both wrestlers fall hard to the mat. This time, when they get back to their feet, they just start punching each other. Snarf grabs PenWing's arm, swinging him into an Irish Whip, but PenWing reverses it, and whips Snarf into the ladder, still set up along the ropes. Snarf bounces off of it, stunned, and PenWing hits him with Sudden Death. Not done, PenWing closes the ladder, and drops it on top of Snarf. He then resets the other ladder over Snarf, and begins to climb.

Monroe: Snarf is trapped!

Marcum: That's fucked up! That ain't right!

PenWing reaches the top, and grabs the Heavyweight Cheese Championship title. He then drops to the ground as Lother signals the bell. "Gonna Fly Now" blasts over the speakers, and SD-6 runs out to celebrate with the champ as Trippin' Tuesday comes to a close