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Several explosions and pyro go off inside the CheeseDome as the familiar voice of Mike "The Mouth" Monroe welcomes us.
Monroe: Fans, we hope you had a wonderful 4th of July, and we want to welcome you to tonight's big ass Havoc bash! We've got no less than ten HUGE matches for you on tonight's extra length show!
MarcuM: TEN matches?! Ohmygob!
Monroe: In our main event, The Donkey Lovin Tag Titles will be on the line in a three way match!
MarcuM: That's right! King Snarf and Joe Mama defend against not only PenWing and Sammitch, but also the Allied Powers who are undefeated as a team!
Monroe: The Master of the Domain tournament continues with MOD Pool B! Grimm vs. Darth! Balls Nasty vs. Pig Iron! Two-Ton Tommy vs. I-Man! and Johnny Evil vs. PJP!
MarcuM: Who will be named Master of the Domain? We've also got a Hell in the Cell match! Two of the young lions here in RDCW James Fantastic and Charlie will go head to head inside the brutal cage! My money's on Charlie. The Company Pitbull is one tough customer.
Monroe: Tommy Savitz vs. El Superbeasto! Sneaky Bunny vs. Harleykwin! and the Lipstick Lesbian Tag Titles! It's Tuesday Night! It's time for Havoc!
Two Ton Tommy (27%, 9 Votes)
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Captain Howdy (73%, 24 Votes)
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Pig Iron (40%, 17 Votes)
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Balls Nasty (60%, 25 Votes)
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El Superbeasto (63%, 27 Votes)
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Tommy Savitz (37%, 16 Votes)
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PJP (42%, 19 Votes)
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Johnny Evil (58%, 26 Votes)
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PrincessElissa / Batwoman (64%, 29 Votes)
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Meeko / Terri Savitz (36%, 16 Votes)
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Two Ton Tommy (32%, 14 Votes)
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I-Man (68%, 30 Votes)
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Darth (36%, 15 Votes)
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Grimm (64%, 27 Votes)
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Harleykwin (44%, 20 Votes)
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Sneaky Bunny (Champ) (56%, 25 Votes)
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Charlie (69%, 29 Votes)
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James Fantastic (31%, 13 Votes)
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MisterJLA / Capt. Howdy (47%, 21 Votes)
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PenWing / Captain Sammitch (11%, 5 Votes)
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King Snarf / Joe Mama (Champs) (42%, 19 Votes)
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The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 739
Fuck off! 500+ posts
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Fuck off! 500+ posts
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 739 |
Well,well,well Two Tone Timmy,you fucked up didnt ya pal.
Tonight both you n I were already booked in matches but I went to thedoctor & appealed to his better side,and guess what. You n I both have an extra match tonight.
You wanna invade the ECW PPV,well now you are gonna learn what ECW was all about.
Now,enough of that fat bitch,I want everyone to know that this ECW rulez invitational is gonna be a regular thing for me.
My next invite goes out to another little bitch in the RDCW,and he'll learn later who he is!
I hope he appreciates all the trouble I'm going to!
You cant stop rock n' roll!
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Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Chesty Lerou is wearing an almost-fitting red dress in the middle of the Cheesedome ring.
Chesty: Ladies and gentlemen, last week I broke the story about the signing of harleykwin to the RDCW! And for the second week in a row, I am the only one who can deliver…the Allied Powers!
Rob’s Killer Instinct Rip-Off Theme Music echoes throughout the walls of the Cheesedome. Captain Howdy emerges from behind the curtain first, waving the Union Jack flag. Harleykwin is seen next, and the sold-out crowd roars their approval. Harley does a cute little bow, and finally, MisterJLA takes the ramp, holding an American flag with a pissed-off look on his face.
The three partners slowly make their way to the ring. While Harley shakes the hands of a few fans, other fans extend their middle finger to Howdy and JLA. The three finally enter the ring, and JLA rips the microphone out of Chesty’s hand and begins to speak. Chesty runs for cover, while the Allies place each flag in an opposite corner...
JLA: Balls Nasty…
JLA looks frustrated, and can’t speak anymore. He throws the mic to the canvas and attempts to leave the ring.
harley: Wait MisterJ! You just can’t leave! Not now!
The crowd…cheers?!?
Monroe: I don’t believe it! Has MisterJLA finally won the crowd over, or are they cheering for harley?
Marcum: Of course they are cheering for the ch…former champ! Now shut up, Monroe! It looks like he’s ready to speak again!
JLA: Balls Nasty…I’ve got some friendly advise for you. <pauses> Pick a baseball game, and bet on it… buy some lotto tickets… fly out to Vegas, and bet your measly life saving on a game of roulette: Do some serious gambling now, because you are the luckiest bastard on the face of the planet!
The crowd cheers!
JLA: You are a lucky one, Balls Nasty. That’s the only explanation for you…defeating me last week. That and the fact that you are a shameless cheater!
The crowd boos!
JLA: Play my footage!
The lights on the Cheesedome dim, and footage from last week’s DCMB World Heavyweight Title match is shown. The footage is set-up to show Balls Nasty illegally hitting MisterJLA over the head with a metallic jock cup!
JLA: Did you all see that?!? A shameless cheater, who couldn’t take my belt without, well, cheating!
Monroe: Isn’t JLA the one who wins practically every singles and tag match using an illegal kick to the goods?
Marcum: Quiet, you!
JLA: So there you have it: proof that Balls Nasty has no respect for the rules. Now all of you have a cheat for a champion. I was the greatest DCMB Champion that the RDCW ever seen, but now look at the tarnish that Nasty will bring to my beloved title!
Monroe: Wasn’t JLA the only DCMB Champion we ever saw?
Marcum: Quiet, you!
JLA: But as I said last week, I have plans to get my championship back. Somewhere down the road, whether it is Hell in the Cell, or a Last Man Standing match, I will get my rematch, and my revenge!
The crowd cheers!
Monroe: I must admit it, he was won the crowd over…most of them.
Marcum: They finally realize what a great champion they had in MisterJLA!
JLA: I’ve said what I wanted to say about Balls Nasty. I hope he enjoys his time as Champion, because his reign will be over before he knows it. Now on to the Tag Championship!
Tonight…T…L…C!
The crowd begins to chant TLC! TLC!
JLA: This is more evidence that RDCW hates Captain Howdy and myself. Not only do we have to beat the paper champions, Joe Mama and Queen Snarf, but we also have to beat Penwing and Sammitch!
But that’s OK, because in case anyone has forgotten we are undefeated as a tag team!
Monroe: How could we forget? He reminds us every week!
JLA: Our undefeated streak is as impressive as the steak the Red Sox had without winning a World Series! It only took them 80 some years, eh Joe Mama?
Penwing, Queen Snarf, Joe Mama, Joe Daddy, Joe Sister, Sammitch, Bagel, Hoagie, bring them all on! Tonight the Allies take our rightful spot as World Tag Team Champions!
The crowd chants TLC! TLC!
JLA: I know the rules to a TLC match…the first person that climbs the ladder, reaches up, and grabs the belts win the match for his team.
I’m glad to say that I have practiced for this event. I want all of you to know that I’ve been climbing all over Balls Nasty’s mother each and every night, and I’ve become quite good at it!
When I climb her, I even have to fight off other men, but I always finish the evening…on top!
The crowd laughs…
JLA: And tonight will be no different! Finally, last but not least, the lovely and talented harleykwin makes her debut as a wrestler!
Even though the RDCW championship committee has been doing their best to hold Howdy and I back, even they couldn’t prevent harley from getting a Booby Title match in her first outing!
I’m proud to say that she is ready tonight! And to make sure that nothing goes wrong, I will be in her corner to…root her on!
Unless of course sneaky bunny wants to do the honorable thing. That’s right, bunny, I know you can hear me. If you’d like to save us the trouble of seeing harley humiliate you in front of a sold-out crowd, you can walk that aisle, and hand harley the championship, right now!
Howdy! Hold the ring ropes open for sneaky bunny! Bunny? I know you’re back there. Why don’t you…hop on down, and give harley the belt!
After a few moments, sneaky bunny walks down the ring aisle, without her theme music, but with the Women’s Booby Title in her hands. She looks very sad, and enters the ring through the ropes that Captain Howdy is holding open for her.
She takes the mic from a smiling MisterJLA…
sneaky bunny: This is a very sad day for me. I heard what you had to say, JLA, and it makes sense.
MisterJLA and Captain Howdy smile, and nod in agreement.
bunny: I’ve decided to give you the belt harley. Come closer, so I can... give it to you.
harleykwin walks toward bunny, who blasts harley with the championship belt! Bunny throws the belt to the canvas, straddles harleykwin, and begins to pull her hair through her harleykwin costume!
Monroe and Marcum: CATFIIIIIIIIIGHT! CATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
JLA: Uh, Captain? Shouldn’t we break this up?
Howdy: Are you kidding me? This is wonderful!
Howdy and JLA watch in glee as the two ladies roll around the ring, until security breaks up the fight. Both ladies are taken back to the dressing room, while JLA and Howdy stand in the ring exchanging high-fives…
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
*After a short promo for the RDCW/RDLL When Worlds Collide pay-per-view,we cut to a video package of various highlights from Chris Oakley's RDCW career,playing with AC/DC's "For Those About To Rock" as the background music. It starts with his Robblemania XX bout against the Captain of Outer Space, continues through his reigns as RDCW hardcore and IC champ,moves on to his Guantanamo cage bout against Sandalman at One Night Stand,and wraps up with his XPW world title victory over Darien Irons on the June 14th "Tuesday Night Havoc".*
*Camera fades to the backstage area at the Cheesedome; we see XPW commentator Joey Biles standing beside a granite tombstone inscribed with the words "XPW: Rest In Pieces/June 14th, 2005."*
JOEY: You may be wondering what I'm doing on RDCW's Tuesday Night Havoc seeing that I've been an XPW announcer from the time XPW began. Well, just two weeks ago an event happened which will have a profound impact on the future of both RDCW and XPW, and the man who you just saw in the previous video clip is at the center of that event. Ladies and gentlemen, the new XPW world heavyweight champion, Chris Oakley!
Huge pops from the fans watching Biles on the Cheese-O-Tron as Chris enters the backstage area with a mic in one hand and the XPW world heavyweight title in the other.
CHRIS: Thanks for coming, Joey.
JOEY: Chris,for years you've mocked XPW and repeatedly rebuffed XPW owner Rob Blackandblue's attempts to sign you to a contract with our federation. Yet you agreed to face Darien Irons for the XPW world heavyweight title and subsequently defeated him. What was your motivation?
CHRIS: It was twofold Joey. First, I wanted to avenge RDCW's honor after Rob Blackandblue and his little goon squad tried to wreck "Havoc".... (Applause from the Cheesedome crowd) second, I wanted to prove to the fans and my peers that I'm still bona fide champion materal. And I'd say I've succeeded on both counts, wouldn't you? (More applause as Chris grins)
JOEY: Aren't you worried that you may become a target for would-be challengers to your title--including the former champion, "Big Man" Darien Irons?
CHRIS: That's exactly what I'm hoping for, Joey....the more people come after my belt, the more solidly I'm entrenched at the top of the RDCW ladder! Because if so many people want to take me down that bad, it just proves beyond a doubt that I'm a legitimate champion and main eventer--
*PenWing comes running down the hall and interrupts Chris in mid-sentence.*
PENWING: You cowardly piece of crap!
*PenWing swings his Sherwood hockey stick at Chris, who barely gets out of the way. The Sherwood shatters over the tombstone, at which point Chris punches PenWing in the gut and throws him into the wall. Joey races down the hall looking for help as PenWing and Chris attempt to tear each other apart. PenWing finally gets the upper hand and throws the XPW world champion face-first into the tombstone; he kneels down to punch Chris but the now bloody champ is able to get a leg up and he sends PenWing back into the wall. By this time, Captain Sammitch and Meeko come racing down the hall from one end and Ian Bond comes from the other. Before they can lock up again Sammitch and Meeko pull PenWing back to restrain him and Bond does the same for Chris. As Sammitch and Meeko pull PenWing down the hall, PenWing yells at the XPW world heavyweight champion.*
PENWING: Oakers,when I'm through with you, you're going to wish you had signed with Blueballs!
CHRIS: You're just lucky I don't have a chair with me or I'd bash your skull in with it!
*As PenWing and company round the corner, the camera cuts to Monroe and Marcum at ringside.*
MONROE: What has gotten into PenWing?
MARCUM: Maybe there is more to the knucklehead than we've been led to believe? I'm not sure who to feel more sorry for here! These two have a long history,and it looks like it's about to explode!
MONROE: Folks,we'll try and get to the bottom of this before "Havoc" ends tonight!
Last edited by Mike The Mouth Monroe; 2005-07-06 2:09 PM.
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Joined: Dec 2004
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25+ posts
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*Bad Company plays as Balls Nasty walks down the ramp to the ring. Cradled in his right arm is the DCMB belt covered with a cloth. Ring announcer and interviewer James White is waiting in the center of the ring.*
James: Before we start the interview, I want to thank the RDCW for that vacation they sent me on. And to the Roboken District Courthouse, I'd like to say that I've complied 100% with the terms of my plea bargin.
So, Balls, Mister JLA had some intense remarks for you out here earlier tonight. What do you say to his accusations of cheating and his remarks about your mother?
Nasty: James, if JLA wants to steal his promo material from Oakley, that's fine by me.
As far as his whining about the match and losing his belt, I have two things to say to him. First, this is wrestling. This isn't you playing in your grandma's attic, putting on her old dresses, and pretending to be a fairy princess like you're used to, JLA. Save that for your weekends. This is sport of strength, discipline, and fortitude. When you step into the ring, it's time to put up or shut up. Not acting like some damned circus clown. It's about wrestling. Something you know nothing about. Something that obviously isn't a priority at the DCMB.
I understand what this is really about, JLA. You are a one trick pony. You do your song and dance routine for the audience and then go for your finishing move. I did what any real wrestler would have done. I cut you off from the only weapon in your arsenal. You can't make it on your own without it, so now you feel your own uselessness creeping up on you. Pay attention, JLA. Consider it an omen for the future of your career.
Secondly, of course I cheated, you little shit. Haven't you ever seen one of my matches?
James: I noticed a little reluctance for you to accept your title at the end of your match.
Nasty: James, I went back and listened to what I said prior to that match. How I talked about the DCMB title as nothing but an ad space for the huge conglomerate that does its best to run wrestling into the ground. Since winning it, I've thought long and hard about what I said and what this title means. I've decided to treat it with all the respect it deserves and display it in a fashion befitting its legacy.
*Balls Nasty removes the cloth from the belt. In the center of the belt is a poster that says "EAT AT JOES".*
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. This week's sponsor of the DCMB title is Joe's Chicken and Donut Shack. Roboken's premier stop for fried chicken and donuts. How can one place offer such a great choice between deep fried poultry and the sugary goodness of donuts? It's simple. They cook it all in the same grease. Joe's Chicken and Donut Shack. Just five miles south of the Cheesedome.
James: You're using the belt to sell ad space?
Nasty: I said it on the last Havoc, James. This belt is nothing but a billboard, and I'm going to treat it as such. After all, this belt doesn't mean anything else. I might as well get something for my troubles, having to carry it around in public. I decided that I'd much rather get paid for selling shitty goods than have to bear the humiliation of being the DCMB champion.
Now, I have to go gear up for my MOD match against Pig Iron. Tonight, this little piggy is going to the hospital.
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*Backstage, Slick Willie Williams flanked by Annie and Sindy. Next to then is Darth, who is flanked by two women, both painted from head to toe in red and black, and scantily clad (if that) in red and black. Both Annie and Sindee are holding mics.*
Annie: Slick, as a businessman, what do you think of Balls Nasty selling add space on his DCMB title belt?
Slick: Annie, dahlin', Mistah Nasty made a brilliant business decision. He say the dollah signs, and he took advantage. That's what the Company is all about.
Sindy: Slick, what about Charlie's match against James Fantastic?
Slick: Mah boy Charlie has some unfinished business with Mistah Fantastic. What bothahs me about that boy, is that he has the nerve to call himself Fantastic! What has he done? If he's so "fantastic," where are his women? Bah!
Annie: Okay, now for the hard question.
Sindy: Yes. Slick, how were you able to convince Darth to join the company?
Slick: Girls, Ah could not have done that without the two of you. And to keep him, while these fine young ladies standing next to him seem to help, the real secret is this little phone right heah in mah pocket. As long as Ah have this, Darth must do as Ah say. And what Ah arranged for him to do tonight, is eliminate Grimm from the MOD tournament. One way, or the othah.
Marcam: This is the end for Grimm tonight! No more Dark Lords! I love it!
Monroe: Don't get your hopes up just yet, Madman! Grimm didn't get the title "Dark Lord" for being nice. And tonight, I have a feeling he's going to get down right nasty.
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Monroe: Folks, we've got video of the SD-6 locker room immediately after PenWing and Chris Oakley had to be separated.
*The Cheese-o-tron comes to life to show the video from earlier in the show.*
Meeko: What the hell do you think you're doing? You think that belt gives you the right to just attack anyone at random?
PenWing: Random!? You call Oaker's actions random? The bastard pulled Nuriko, still recovering from injury, into his little war with XPW! She's our teammate! Did you know she was going to be at One Night Stand? Because when I spoke with her she made no mention of it!
Meeko: No, I didn't know she would be there. But Tommy was there with her, so it's not like she wasn't protected.
PenWing: Right. Until Darth showed up! The Family Business has never been stronger, and now we've got Oakers picking away at our own faction!
Meeko: You let me worry about our faction! That's my job! Your job is not to make trouble with our allies!
PenWing: He's not our ally! Oakers is out there for himself! You see the way he carries that XPW title around? He thinks he owns the place! He thinks a fallen company's gold makes him a contender!
Meeko: That's right! He does think that! And then you go and talk about facing him in a match! You just added to his credibility!
PenWing: Added to his credibility!? I called his bluff!
Meeko: No, you took his bait! You don't have time to be dealing with this! You've got a match tonight! You've got a chance to take back the Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Titles from King Snarf and Joe Mama! That's what you need to be focused on!
*There is a pause, and when PenWing speaks again, his demeanor changes. This becomes obvious not just by the look in his eyes, or by the expression on his face, but by the tone of his voice, which he lowers. When he speaks, he sounds cold and calculating.*
PenWing: Oh, I'm focused on that match. I won't let either of you down. You know that. What JLA and Howdy did last week, they will pay for their interference. And King Snarf will regret ever laying a hand on you. That, I guarantee. But Oakers...someone has to deal with him. Would you rather it be the Bastardo Family? Would you like King Snarf to beat his ass for the XPW title? Do you really want to hear them talk about how that will be the new RDCW championship belt? This title, the Big Cheese Belt, stands at the top of the pyramid. There is no greater title in all of wrestling. Everyone wants it, but only one person gets to wear it. Just look into Sammitch's eyes everytime he sees the belt. They say it all. He wants it almost more than anything in the world. And if he had it, I'd have the same look in my eyes. This MOD tournament, it could give him the chance to win this belt, and that would be a hell of a match. But before I can start worrying about who I'm going to face at SummerScam, I have to make sure that I'm worthy of defending this title at SummerScam. When we formed SD-6, we did it to stand against everything that was wrong in wrestling. We are here for one reason, and that is to give the fans what they want. And what they want, is a champion who is willing to put it all on the line, no matter the cost, be it physical, or emotional. I will be damned if I will not be that champion. So here I am, and this is the way it has to be. Because this is the only way it can be.
*There is another pause.*
Meeko: You're right. This is why we're here. Do what you have to do.
*PenWing looks over to Captain Sammitch, who has been standing quietly by the door.*
PenWing: Sammitch?
Sammitch: (shrugs) Kick his ass, man.
*Havoc goes to commercial.*
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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200+ posts
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As we come back from commercial, 'Take Me Out' Plays and Tommy Savitz, James Fantastic and Two Ton Tommy hit the ring. Tommy Savitz has a microphone, and he yells into it as the trio make their way to the ring
Tommy Savitz: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, children of all ages, put your hands together for the new sensation that is rocking the nation, THE SD ROCKERS!
The crowd cheers, pretty clearly enjoying the spectacle as the trio enter the ring
James Fantastic: That's, that's right! Three for one and one for three, we are he and he is me! Giving it up for The Croatian Sensation, Tommy 'I'm that DAMN GOOD!' Savitz!
The crowd cheers again, and Tommy boys modestly.
Tommy Savitz: Thank you, thank you. Tonight, people, you will see me go one on one with El Superbeasto, the Gian Luchadore! Now, I was planning to hold back a little, maybe give him some space to breathe, 'cos y'all know how bad I could break him!
The crowd laugh, and chant 'TOMMY! TOMMY!
Tommy Savitz: But you heard what he said last week about my wife, and I don't take kindly to that kind of talk. El Superbeasto, you touch one hair on her head and I swear to god, you'll be leaving the Cheese Dome in an ambulance!
The crowd fall silent, somewhat surprised at Tommy's harsh words
Tommy Savitz: But enough about me! It's time to hand over to the Two-Ton Titan of Terror, the Wrestling Ronin that'll blow your mind, Two-Ton Tommy!
The crowd cheers once again, and Fantastic hands Tommy a mic. He looks reluctant to speak, but Fantastic encourages him, and he raises the mic
Two-Ton Tommy: I'd like to start by being man enough to apologise to Captain Howdy for appearing at ECW One Night Stand. The fact is, I went along to ensure Nuriko's safety, and I didn't mean to cause any offence. That said, you better get ready for the fight of your life, 'cos I'm not going easy on you!
Fantastic pats his tag partner on the back, and takes the mic
James Fantastic: Now it's time for a few words from the original SD Rocker himself, The One and Only James Fantastic!
The crowd give a pretty major pop here, as Fantastic bows
James Fantastic: Tonight, I'm up against The Company Pitbull, and tonight I will wipe him off the face of professional wrestling! Charlie, you dumb two-bit jabroni, you think you can beat me? I've stepped into a steel cage with Son of Mxy, one of the greatest wrestleers ever to step into this ring, and you don't even compare to him! So, BOY, you bet get ready to pick up your backbone, 'cos I am going all out to take you down!
The crowd cheers and applauds, and the three wrestlers pose in the ring before heading to the back
Last edited by James_Fantastic; 2005-07-08 10:11 AM.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera cuts to the Bond Brigade locker room,where Ian Bond and new Bond Brigade member Mario Barini are attempting to calm down a still visibly upset Chris Oakley.
IAN:Old chap,get a hold of yourself...
CHRIS:To hell with that!I want to get a hold of PenWing's lousy little throat!Did you see the way he dissed me during my interview with Joey Biles?!!!
MARIO:Paisan,now isn't the time for a confrontation with Signor PenWing....
CHRIS(vein starts to stick out of his forehead):Wrong!Now's the PERFECT time for a showdown with that Sherwood-swinging bastard!!Now if you'll excuse me....(he grabs an "RDCW/RDLL When Worlds Collide" cap from his locker)...I'm heading down to the ring.I have a few words for PenWing about the price he can expect to pay for that little stunt he pulled during my interview.
Chris then picks up a folded chair from the hallway outside and leaves the Bond Brigade dressing room;in his wake,Mario and Ian turn to each other with worried expressions on their faces.
IAN:Well,Mario,what do we do now?
MARIO:That depends on Signor Oakley,I think.
Both men glance in the direction of the dressing room door as the camera cuts back to Madman Marcum and Mike "The Mouth" Monroe at ringside.
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Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
Cut to Family Business' Locker Room. King Snarf Rules is interviewing Joe Mama...
KSR: Champ, tonight you're defending your Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Titles. Not just against PenWing and Captain Sammitch, but against the Allied Pow...
Joe Mama snatches the microphone from King Snarf Rules' hand.
JM: MisterJLA, can you hear me? Captain Howdy, do I have your attention? Pay attention, boys; I don't want you to say you weren't warned! Because last week, you made the worst damn mistake of your lives!
Last week, you interfered with Family business! You stuck yourselves in to something that you REALLY want NO part of! Because who have you beaten? What contenders for these Tag Team titles have you managed to defeat? Did I blink and miss your epic match against a newly re-formed Hellions - have they even reunited? Was I napping when you crushed PenWing and Sammitch? Was I out getting dinner while you destroyed the Dark Lords? Fantastic and Tommy? The Legbreakers? WHO HAVE YOU BEATEN?!?
The truth is that you've done nothing but lurk around the RDCW, taking out whatever jobber you could get a match with. You've lost a title that you brought into this promotion to a man who doesn't remotely care about it. You've won NOTHING! You are entitled to NOTHING! But, now that you've decided to make demands that should've gotten you laughed out of the Championship Committee's office, let me tell you what you've EARNED!!!
Captain Howdy, you and I know each other from our ECW days. I know what you're about. I know how you work. And I know what to expect from you. What I DON'T know is why you've hooked up with an irrelevance like MisterJLA! Is your career going so poorly? Did Nowhereman break your heart when he left you? Are you lonesome, Captain Howdy? Well, big man, tonight you'll be getting all the attention you apparently crave and more! If SD-6 doesn't get you, the Family will!!!
And what can I say about MisterJLA? The man with the title no one wanted. The man with the "devastating" ball-shot for a finisher. The man who was supposed to arrive with a great manager - whatever happened to your manager, JLA? Did he realize what you were getting into and head for the hills? Is he watching you from Heaven? Is that why you hide behind Captain Howdy? Let me fill you in on something - tonight, you are not just going to be defeated in our match. Tonight, you are going to be SOUNDLY beaten! At some point in our match, whether you like it or not, I WILL get my hands on you and I WILL cut years off your career! You wanted to face the Champions? You got your chance! Tonight, when I get you in the ring, I'm going to make my ECW match against Tommy Sleeper look like a WWE match! Prepare to bleed HEAVILY!!!
KSR (slightly off-mic): What about PenWing and Sammitch?
JM: PenWing, best of luck in your match against Oakley. Family Business standa by its "non-interference" policy. But, guys, if your smart, you won't show up for the Tag match tonight. There's blood in the water and the sharks are starting to frenzy. The Allied Powers are going to fall tonight - don't get in the Family's way.
Cut to commercial...
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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*We return to Havoc as Del Castillo's "Back From the Grave" is playing. El Superbeasto stands in the ring flanked by the Legbreakers. Superbeasto has the mic.
ES: "So, El Fantastico, Surgeon Savitz, and One-Ball Tommy want to come out here and run their little mouths like little yapping dogs? Tonight, Surgeon Savitz, you and your pretty little wife will understand why El Superbeasto es muy macho! Already I have defeated Fantastico and One-Ball. Tonight, you will join them in defeat under the tread of El Superbeasto! I break you all like pinatas. And if you think you are really, truly tough. . .then next week, we challenge the three of you to a lucha libra trios match!"
"Back From the Grave" picks up again as the three Bastardo Family members laugh and high five each other.
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
*Grimm walks into the backstage area from the parking lot. He is still wearing his outfit from the Evil Cunt Wrestling show and is covered in dried blood and dirt. He has his ECW Tag Title wrapped around his waist and is carrying a shovel over his shoulder. He's extremely pissed off.
Monroe: By Gawb, Madman! It's Grimm!
MarcuM: It looks like he hasn't showered or slept since the ECW pay per view!
The Crotch and King Snarf Rules run up to attempt an interview, but Grimm sends them scurrying away with a swing of the shovel that leaves a hole in one of the walls. Grimm continues on, walking past the trio of Wednesday, Rex, and PJP, who are sitting at a folding table playing poker.
W: Where do you think he's going?
R: Ask him.
PJP: You ask him. Grimm scares me.
A couple of RDCW officials attempt to stop Grimm, but he shoves them aside and continues on. Lothar walks up to him and attempts to keep pace.
L: Hey there, buddy. What's going on?
Grimm: Bad things are about to happen. Very bad things.
Lothar stops and ponders this for a moment as Grimm continues on. Finally Lothar seems to come to a decision and runs down a side hallway.
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
*Returning from the world's longest commercial break, we see Grimm now standing outside the Company locker room, being prevented from entering by several security guards. Slick Willie Williams is standing behind the guards, and trying to provoke them into arresting Grimm. They are all shouting and arguing as the Doctor and Lothar arrive.
Doctor: GOBDAMMIT! What the hell is going on here?
*The Doctor motions for help as several wrestlers and security guards pile onto Grimm and try and hold him back. The Doctor tries to get Grimm's attention.
Doctor: Grimm! Grimm! GRIMM! Dammit, look at me!
*Grimm looks up at him as if just now seeing him for the first time. His expression doesn't change.
Doctor: Let him go.
*A confused look crosses the wrestlers and guards faces collectively. The Doctor reassures them.
Doctor: It'll be fine. Let him go.
*The guards and wrestlers release their holds and move away as Grimm grips his shovel in his hands and looks at the Doctor menacingly.
Doctor: Do you want to take a swing at me with that shovel now? Well go ahead and do it. And tomorrow morning you can start calling for independent bookings or go fly down to Stamford and start begging at Billionaire Vince's doorstep!
*Grimm looks as if he is still seriously considering taking a swing at the Doctor.
Doctor: Why don't you go to your dressing room and save all that anger and fire for your match tonight? I'm sure after the match. . .
Slick Willie Williams: That's right! Save all that aggression foh yoah match, cuz yoah gonna need it!
Docotor (to SWW): You shut the hell up and go back in your dressing room!
*Slick cautiously backs inside the door and closes it, never taking his eyes off of Grimm the whole time. The Doctor and Grimm return their attention to each other.
Doctor: I've known you too damn long to just let you fuck your career up like this. I've seen you do some stupid things but this just takes the cake. Go back to your damn locker room and wait for your match.
*Grimm looks at the shovel for a moment, then back to the Doctor. He starts to turn, but pauses, and speaks.
Grimm: This isn't over.
*Grimm turns and heads towards his locker room.
Doctor: And take a shower for Gob's sake! You reek!
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ECW Rulez Match: Captain Howdy versus Two-Ton Tommy
Tommy’s inexperience in this style of match plainly showed. Captain Howdy ultimately got the pinfall victory using all of the following items: steel chair, bamboo cane, street sign, lead pipe, brass knuckles, tire iron, hubcap, 2x4, leather belt, cinder block, and a six-pack of Budweiser longnecks. Two-Ton Tommy was carried out of the ring area on a stretcher…
MOD Tournament: Balls Nasty versus Pig Iron
Seeking revenge for his loss at the ECW Reunion PPV, Captain Howdy distracted Pig Iron just enough for Balls Nasty to hit the Camero Cut and secure his victory, moving on in the MOD tournament. After Balls Nasty left the ring, Captain Howdy took his opportunity to attack Pig Iron.
Grudge Match: Tommy Savitz versus El Superbeasto
"I'M THAT DAMN GOOD!" could be heard as "Lyla" began to play, signaling the arrival in the CheeseDome of Tommy "The Surgeon" Savitz and his lovely wife, Terri. The happy couple entered the ring to the applause of the fans, welcoming them back from their hiatus.
The cheers quickly faded, however, as Del Castillo's "Back From the Grave" started up and the Giant Luchador, El Superbeasto entered the arena, accompanied by Louie Bastardo and Grace. The trio entered the ring where Superbeasto glared lecherously at Terri.
As the giant motioned at her, Tommy jumped his much larger foe, attempting to lift the beast up in a Scalpelplex. But Superbeasto halted the attempt with a pair of crushing forearm blows to the Surgeon's back. Superbeasto then whipped Savitz into the ropes and caught him in a massive bear hug!
Savitz struggled to escape the maneuver as the RDCW fans cheered him on, lead by Terri at ringside! Sensing that her husband was in danger, Terri climbed up onto the ring apron and began waving at Superbeasto.
Distracted, the Giant Luchador dropped Tommy to the mat and walked over, despite the protestations of Louie and Grace at ringside. Savitz recovered and, as Terri distracted Superbeasto, Savitz locked the giant in the Cardiac Arrest!
Monroe: Cardiac Arrest! Buhgawd!
Savitz actually managed to bring the giant down onto the mat, but Superbeasto's height advantage came into play, as he was able to drape one of his long legs over the bottom rope. As Lothar ordered Savitz to break the hold, Grace walked to the other side of the ring and began verbally assaulting Terri!
The two then got into a physical confrontation, pushing each other and rolling around on the floor!
Marcum: CATFIGHT! CATFIIIIGHT!!!!!!
Monroe: Would you stop?
As Tommy and Louie attempted to get the women apart, Superbeasto brought down a pair of Giant Headbutts upon the Surgeon, knocking him to the mat! Superbeasto dropped a Giant Elbow on Savitz, for good measure!
Superbeasto then began running in place, in signal for one of his feared giant lucha maneuvers.
Monroe: Oh, Gob, no...he can't. He wouldn't.
Marcum: He is! He's going for the GiantSault!
*Superbeasto bounded off of the ropes on each side of the ring, and springboarded off of the middle rope, almost causing it to separate from the turnbuckles as he went for his GiantSault. Savitz managed to roll out of the way at the last moment, however and Superbeasto hit the mat hard!
The ring shook and trembled as the Giant Luchador crashed down upon it!
Monroe: BUHGAWD! Did you hear that?!?
Marcum: Did you SEE that?!?
*With both men lying on the mat, Lothar began the ten count. As Lothar counted, the two began to make their way to their feet. At the count of eight, both men stood. Savitz grabbed one of Superbeasto's arms and attempted to apply the Surgeon's Knife! But the Giant Luchador was too quick and wrapped his hand around Savitz' throat!
Superbeasto lifted Savitz high into the air and delivered his patented Chokeslam to Oblivion! The Giant Luchador then pinned his foe to end the match! As Superbeasto, Louie, and Grace were celebrating, Terri Savitz slid into the ring to tend to her fallen husband.
Noticing this, Superbeasto walked over to the girl and began making advances to her. Fearing for her life, Terri backed into a corner as the Giant advanced on her. All looked lost until James Fantastic slid into the ring, guitar in hand!
Monroe: FANTASTIC!
Fantastic took a swing at Louie and Grace, as the two ducked and quickly slid out of the ring! Fantastic then nailed Superbeasto in the back with a flurry of guitar shots, bringing the giant to his knees!
Fantastic's music began to play, as he held up the remnants of his guitar for the cheering fans, while Superbeasto rolled out of the ring, holding his back. Terri and James attempted to help Tommy to his feet when Charlie attacked Fantastic, hitting him with a particularly brutal Tower of London!
As Fantastic and the Savitz's went down, Charlie gloated over his foe, promising more brutalization to come in their match later!
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MOD Tournament: Johnny Evil versus PJP
The RDCW’s friendliest wrestler was no match for its evilest. PJP was so busy making friends with the referee, the ring announcer, the timekeeper, the fans, and the turnbuckles that he was an early victim of the Making Of Flubber. Johnny Evil moves on in the MOD tournament.
Lipstick Lesbians Tag Division: Meeko/Terri Savitz versus The Bible Babes
This was a brutal match. Both teams showed why they’re the top competitors for the Lipstick Lesbian Tag Titles. But PrincessElisa was able to force Terri Savitz to tap out to her finisher: ABSOLUTION!!!
MOD Tournament: I-Man versus Two-Ton Tommy
Unfortunately, SD-6’s largest member was not able to compete due to injuries sustained by Captain Howdy. I-Man was named the winner by forfeit and moves on in the tournament.
MOD Tournament: Grimm versus Darth
*La Grange begins to play as Slick Willie Williams, along with Annie & Sindy make their way to ringside. Slick holds up the Cell to Hell to a rousing chorus of booes from the fans. Slick dials as the CheeseDome darkens. The Imperial March cues up as Darth and his Darkside Divas rise up from the depths.
Darth begins to head down the ramp way, as the fans continue booing him. He pauses for just the briefest of moments, as if registering this response, but as Slick yells at him and waves the Cell, he snaps back into attention and waits for his former partner's arrival on the ramp way.
"Black Wedding" starts as the lights darken again. Slick and the girls wait smugly in the ring while Grimm's matte black, Giger-esque sarcophagus wheels out onto the ramp way. Darth makes his way up to the sarcophagus and waits.
As "Backstage Pass to Hell" kicks up, the sarcophagus doors open to reveal...no one! The sarcophagus is empty! Darth looks around it in confusion, peering inside it.
As Slick yells instructions from the ring, Grimm slips out from under it and attacks him from behind! Grimm pulls Slick's coat off, as the Company manager struggles to escape! Slick and the girls flee the ring as Darth runs back down and slides inside to confront his former partner. And the clash begins!
Locking up, the two monsters jockey for position as Slick yells instructions at Darth from ringside. The two hit the ropes and Darth Irish whips Grimm across the ring. The two collide in mid-ring, with neither man going down. Circling each other, they hit the ropes again and hit again. Same effect.
They then try for a test of strength, each attempted to outmuscle the other, and for a moment, we get a split screen shot of Chesty Lerou watching the match backstage. She has a very concerned look on her face.
Monroe: Chesty watching backstage, Madman! She looks very upset!
Marcum: Of course she is! Darth loved her and left her! Just like he left Grimm for the Company! Because they're both losers!
Monroe: They are not!
Slick says something to Darth via the phone and Darth responds by kicking Grimm in the midsection! Grimm drops to his knees, as Darth now stands over him. Darth picks him up and whips him into the ropes and delivers a brutal flying lariat!
Monroe: BUHGAWD! He almost took his head off!
Darth starts working over Grimm with Sith-spawn DDTs. Darth went for a running bulldog, but Grimm recovered and shoved him off and into the ropes. As Darth rebounded, Grimm hit a forearm to the head, and both men hit the mat!
Grimm was up first and maneuvered Darth into the turnbuckles. Striking him with several quick kicks to the midsection to keep him off balance. Pulling Darth back to center ring, he hit a brutal piledriver!
Acknowledging the cheering fans, Grimm paused for a moment to hit his familiar crucifix pose. However, he failed to notice Darth quickly rise from the piledriver. Grimm turned and was face to face with his foe!
Monroe: It's gonna take a lot for either of these two to be put away!
Marcum: They might still be fighting next week!
The two Dark Lords began slugging away at each other with thunderous right hand punches! Darth hit Grimm with a throat thrust, and lifted him up for a gorilla press! Pressing Grimm overhead several times, Darth dropped him to the mat and headed for the ropes.
Darth launched himself off of the middle turnbuckle with a devastating leg drop! He went for a pin attempt, but Grimm lifted his shoulder at the two count.
The camera then focused on Chesty, now standing at the entranceway to the arena. She held her hands to her face as she watched the carnage unfolding before her.
Monroe: Chesty can't believe this is happening! She's severely upset!
Marcum: I'll gladly comfort her.
Monroe: I just bet you would.
Marcum: Whaaaaaaatt. . .
Darth went to powerslam Grimm, but Grimm reversed and lifted his former student up for an inverted atomic drop! Grimm lifted Darth up upon his shoulder and placed him on the turnbuckle!
Monroe: KOBE SPECIAL! KOBE SPECIAL!
Marcum: They're coming this way!
The announcers quickly moved as Grimm chokeslammed Darth from the turnbuckles and through the arena announce table! The fans got to their feet with a chant of "RDCW! RDCW!"
As the referee began counting, Slick exhorted Darth to get to his feet. Groggily, Grimm made his way up and rolled into the ring at the eight count. Darth was counted out as Slick attempted to lift him up. Lothar raised one of Grimm's arms as he held his ribs with the other.
Monroe: Grimm has advanced in the MOD tournament!
Marcum: He might have won this battle, but it looks like he's gonna lose the war!
As Grimm rested on one of the ropes, Slick ordered his charge to attack! Darth slid back into the ring and delivered a brutal Sabreslam, followed by a pair of Darksideslams! The Imperial March began to play in the arena, as Slick and the girls joined Darth in the ring to celebrate.
Sobbing, Chesty turned and walked into the backstage area. Darth paused and looked towards the ramp way, shortly before his similarly painted divas took his attention back.
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Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
*"Rooster" blasts over the speakers and Chris comes out to the ring minus Ian Bond or Mario Barini, looking like he wants to kill somebody. He grabs the mic and angrily gestures to the sound technicians to kill his entrance music.*
Oakley: Nobody humiliates me the way PenWing did and gets away with it! NOBODY! Louie Bastardo tried to take me out...he couldn't do it! Rob Blackandblue and Darien Irons tried to take me out....they couldn't do it! So I'm sure as hell not going to let PenWing get off scot-free after that crap he pulled during my interview!
*Chants of "Penwing!" mingle with "CKO!CKO!" in the Cheesedome crowd.*
Oakley: This...(points to the cut on his forehead left by PenWing's chair shot)....is nothing compared to what I'm going to do to him when I get my hands on him! The time is here for somebody to beat that little Gordie Howe wannabe at his own game--SO I'M CHALLENGING HIM TO FACE ME IN A TITLE VS. TITLE MATCH NEXT WEEK INSIDE A FIFTEEN-FOOT HIGH STEEL CAGE!!!!
*The stomping beat of "We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers and the fans roar to their feet and sing along as PenWing, with the Big Cheese Belt around his waist and his Sherwood in hand, makes his way to the ring.*
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Everybody
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Alright
*PenWing is handed a mic as he enters the ring. He waits for the fans to quiet down before speaking.*
PenWing: Oakers...have you taken so many shots to the head that you've finally lost your mind? You're challenging me to a title match!? Oakers, last week, I was the one who challenged you! And that little...incident in the hall earlier...that was me reminding you that you hadn't accepted my challenge yet! So, I'll take this little...challenge of yours as a yes! Because, anytime, anywhere-
*"War Pigs" blasts over the speakers and The Doctor makes his way to the ring.*
The Doctor: My, oh, my, how times never change. I seem to remember, Oakley, at the first Havoc of this year that you and Joe Mama did this very same song and dance in that this very ring. I also remember a stipulation I put on your Rumble match against Joe for the IC title. It said that the loser of the match would lose his shot for one full year at the IC title as well as the Heavyweight Cheese title. If memory serves me, you lost that match. You then lost your only chance of regaining a title shot by being eliminated from the Rumble. Since a year has yet to pass, Oakley, you are not eligible for a shot at the belt around PenWing's waist. This match isn't happening.
*The crowd errupts in booes. Oakley tries to speak, but the crowd won't quiet down. It's not long before they start chants of "Asshole!" Finally, PenWing raises his Sherwood and waits for the crowd to quiet down.*
PenWing: Did you hear that, Doc? The fans don't give a crap about previous stipulations. They don't care about Oakley's past screw ups. They don't care about your rules and regulations. There's a new rule book in the RDCW. It took King Snarf a while to figure out. It won't be long before Joe Mama starts to understand it. But first, I'm going to explain those rules to Chris Oakley. And I'm going to do it in a fifteen foot barbed wire steel cage.
*Huge pops from the crowd.*
The Doctor: Penwing, whatever you do to your body in whatever type of match you want is up to you. But that belt around your waist is the property of Rob's Damn Championship Wrestling. Therefore, it falls under the rules and regulations of the RDCW. The one responsible for enforcing those rules is me. You want to fight Oakley, then go ahead; but the title will not be on the line.
*Oakley Speaks before the crowd can boo.*
Oakley: In that case, let's make this a Last Man Standing bout...winner's the first guy who can get to his feet before the count of 10!
*The crowd cheers until they see the Doctor shake his head no. Their cheers quickly turn to booes.*
PenWing: We'll make this a ladder match!
*Again, the Doctor shakes his head, and the crowd's cheers quickly turn to booes.*
Oakley: If that doesn't suit you,Doc,how about an anything goes hardcore rules match?!!
*The crowd cheers for a moment and then quiets down, waiting for the Doctor's reply.*
The Doctor: Let me get this straight, Penwing. To put your title on the line, you're willing to fight in a barb-wire enclosed steel cage, in no-holds barred hardcore match with ladders and whatever the hell else we throw in there, and no pinfalls. Just Last Man Standing rules?
*Penwing nods and says "yes". The fans cheer louder.*
The Doctor: Alright. I tell you what. Next week on Havoc you'll have your match. The Cell from Hell. Steel cage, barb-wire, and all.
*The crowd goes wild.*
The Doctor: But I have a few conditions of my own. First off, to ensure no interference there will be a special official of my choosing to guard the only entrance into cage.
*Oakley and Penwing agree.*
The Doctor: Secondly, this is the RDCW and not some failed, half-assed promotion. There is no XPW anymore; therefore, it can't have a champion. After this match, the XPW belt is no more.
*Oakley seems apprehensive for a moment. Then he nods in agreement.*
The Doctor: Lastly, in the event that the two of you batter each other to the point that neither of you are left standing and the match is called a draw, Penwing, you will vacate the Heavyweight title.
*Penwing loses the smile on his face.*
The Doctor: That means that whoever wins the current MOD tournament will not be the number one contender for the Heavyweight Cheese Championship. The winner will be the Heavyweight Cheese Champion. So now that you've got the match you've wanted, I hope that you actually make it to the ring Tuesday.
PenWing: (smiles) Doc, I wouldn't have it any other way. The anytime, is next Tuesday.
*Pops from the crowd.*
PenWing: The anywhere, is this very ring.
*More pops from the crowd.*
PenWing: And Oakley, I hope this is exactly the way you want it. Because next week, you're going to learn that SUDDEN (the crowd joins in) DEATH RULES!
*"Gonna Fly Now" blasts over the speakers as PenWing and Oakley stare each other down.*
Monroe: Buhbawb! Next week PenWing defends the Big Cheese Belt against Chris Oakley in the Cell From Hell! It's gonna be total carnage!
Marcum: This is the end for the knucklehead for sure! Even if he wins the match, he won't be in any condition to defend the title again! And if both wrestlers are counted out, the MOD winner will be come champ!
Monroe: It's going to be the greatest Havoc ever! But it won't happen until next week! Up next, it's TLC III!
Last edited by Mike The Mouth Monroe; 2005-07-12 3:57 AM.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Women’s Boobie Belt Match: Sneaky Bunny versus HarleykwinMisterJLA’s protégée and newest RDCW Diva, Harleykwin, did her best to unseat the Bastardo Family’s own Diva. But Sneaky Bunny used moves from her own playbook, as well as those from her teammates, to keep her opponent off-balance and at a disadvantage. A Wildsault set Harleykwin up for the Taxidermy. A three-count later and Sneaky Bunny had retained her title. Hell In A Cell: James Fantastic versus CharlieThis was another brutal match. These longtime foes spent more time brawling and using the cage as a weapon against each other than on any semblance of the technical wrestling they are famous for. By the end of the match, both wrestlers were covered in blood and barely able to stay on their feet. But Charlie was able to hit his Pitbull DDT to secure the victory. TLC III: Joe Mama/King Snarf versus SD-6 versus The Allied PowersMonroe: It’s time! It’s time! It’s Main Event Time! Rob’s Killer Instinct Rip-Off Theme Music plays, and the crowd respond with cheers! MisterJLA and Captain Howdy emerge from behind the Cheesedome curtain, and Ring Announcer James White makes the intro from the ring, which has a table in one corner, a ladder in another, and a chair in each of the remaining corners. James White: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Main Event, TLC-III for the Donkey Lovin’ Tag Titles!
First, from London, England: Captain Howdy! And his tag team partner, from somewhere in the United States, MisterJLA! Together, they are the Allied Powers! The Powers quickly take the ring, and JLA takes the mic from James White. JLA: This is bull! Why are we introduced first? We are undefeated! We should be introduced last, since we are the best team to --- MisterJLA is interrupted by “Let’s Get It Started” as Captain Sammitch and PenWing enter the ring area and walk down the ramp. James White takes the mic back from a frustrated JLA and introduces the pair. As PenWing and Sammitch enter the ring, a disgusted MisterJLA leaves the ring, followed after a moment by an apathetic Captain Howdy. Moments later, “Ecstasy Of Gold” plays and the Tag Team Donkey Lovin’ Champions make their way down the ramp and enter the ring. King Snarf points to PenWing and starts lambasting him and Captain Sammitch while Joe Mama stares down MisterJLA before pointing to him, grimacing, and dragging a thumb across his throat. MisterJLA steps behind Captain Howdy, and then starts yelling at Joe Mama. Finally the teams go back to their corners and the bell rings. The match is underway, and JLA charges at Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion Joe Mama! Howdy attacks Captain Sammitch, and former RDCW Champion King Snarf lunges at the man who took his title, current Champ PenWing! JLA throws a punch which Joe Mama blocks, and then reels off punches of his own. JLA staggers back, and tries to connect with Final Justice, his illegal finisher, which is a kick to the balls, and the only move in JLA’s arsenal. Joe Mama catches his enemy’s foot, spins JLA around a few times, and delivers an East Coast Hammer! JLA appears to be knocked out, and Joe covers him, and continues to tap the canvas 1…2…3! Joe completed a mock three count of JLA! Marcum: Here in the opening stages of the match, Joe has counted JLA out!
Monroe: But that doesn’t mean anything! This match is all about climbing to the top of the ladder, and grabbing the Tag gold! First person to do that wins the Tag Championship for their team! With the other four participants brawling, Joe grabs the ladder, and stands it up right under the Tag Belts, which are hanging from a cable attached to the Cheesedome ceiling!  Joe quickly climbs the ladder, as JLA struggles to get to his feet! Just as Joe Mama climbs to the top of the ladder, JLA kicks it over, and Joe is sent flying to the canvas! Monroe: It looks like JLA just gave the ladder a Final Justice! JLA quickly grabs a chair, and waits for Joe to get to his feet. Once he does, JLA delivers a vicious chair shot!  JLA stands over Joe, waiting to hit him with another brutal shot to the head! Monroe: He may not know how to wrestle, but he sure can swing a steel chair! Meanwhile, while Captains Sammitch and Howdy battle outside the ring, King Snarf sends PenWing to the mat with a chokeslam, and sees that his partner is in trouble. He sneaks up behind JLA, and gives him a German suplex that buys Joe time to recover!  But PenWing quickly recovers and attacks both King Snarf AND MisterJLA! PenWing dropkicks MisterJLA out of the ring, then turns his attention back to King Snarf, assaulting him with a brutal series of punches and kicks. But King Snarf manages an eye gouge, followed by a low blow. Then he grabs PenWing and tosses him out of the ring just as Captain Howdy dispatches Captain Sammitch and enters the ring himself. Joe Mama has slid JLA on top of a table, and JLA looks to be out! Joe then slowly climbs to the top of the ladder, and is in arm’s length of the tag championships! But he pauses…! Monroe: Why doesn’t he just grab the belts and end the match?
Marcum: I think we’re about to find out! Instead of ending the match by grabbing the suspended Tag Championships, Joe jumps off the top of the ladder, and hits his nemesis with a Flying Tea Bag Slam, which puts JLA through the table! Marcum: Damn! Both Joe and JLA are slow to get to their feet, with MisterJLA clearly feeling the worse of the two! Captain Howdy and King Snarf are the only two men in the ring, as the others are fighting all over the Cheesedome! The Captain takes a wild swing at Snarf with a chair, but misses! King Snarf takes advantage of this, by kicking Howdy in the stomach, and then using The Bastard Bomb to stun Howdy! King Snarf looks around, and sees that this is his chance to win the match! He sets the ladder up, and due to his weakened condition, slowly climbs to the top! Referee Lothar watches King Snarf from a distance, and Howdy stumbles to his feet. Howdy sees that he is too far away to stop King Snarf from grabbing the Tag Belts, so he picks up a chair, and hits Lothar over the head with it, knocking him out! Lothar is knocked out, and doesn’t see Snarf grab the belts, and fall off the ladder with them! Marcum: That’s it! Joe Mama and King Snarf retain the championships!
Monroe: But Lothar didn’t see it, and the bell never sounded! King Snarf stands up with a Tag Title in each hand and starts to jump up and down in jubilation! He’s celebrating so much that he doesn’t notice Captain Howdy walking up next to him! Howdy hits King Snarf with…a Final Justice! Marcum: Look at that! A vicious kick to the balls, JLA style! JLA must have taught the Captain how to execute his feared finisher! With Snarf doubled over in pain, Howdy uses a Howdyslam: his devastating chokeslam! Monroe: He gave him a Howdyslam…right onto a steel chair! Howdy sees that a bloodied Lothar is regaining his senses…so Howdy quickly picks up the Tag Belts that King Snarf grabbed. Howdy then lies down on the canvas. Lothar walks over to Captain Howdy, and sees him holding the belts. Lothar calls for the bell! After talking to Lothar for a few moments, James White makes the announcement: White: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of TLC III…and NEW Donkey Lovin Tag Team Champions: MisterJLA and Captain Howdy: The Allied Powers! JLA separates himself from Joe Mama, and rushes into the ring! Both he and Howdy stand in the middle of the ring, with each member holding a tag belt high over their head. The Allied Powers’ theme music begins to play, and Joe Mama, King Snarf, Captain Sammitch, and Penwing look on in disbelief as this week's Havoc ends...
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