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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
*Mike Monroe's image greets us as we see the CheeseDome dressed up like a shabbily lit Tijuana beer joint.
Monroe: Buhgawb! Fans, this is a historic date! As Rob's Damn Championship Wrestling unites with Rob's Damn Lucha Libre for a historic card blending the best of both american and mexican wrestling worlds! It's Worlds in Collision!
Sneaky / CJ / Bianca (54%, 19 Votes)
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Lor / Meeko / Terri (46%, 16 Votes)
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Homeland Security (61%, 20 Votes)
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El Caliente Merdes (39%, 13 Votes)
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Miguel Peterson (48%, 16 Votes)
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El Guano (52%, 17 Votes)
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Los Vatos de Fuego (Champs) (52%, 17 Votes)
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Chris Oakley / Hombre Lagarto (48%, 16 Votes)
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James Fantastic / Los Cazadores (50%, 17 Votes)
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Los Diablos (50%, 17 Votes)
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Los Monstrous Azules (32%, 11 Votes)
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Legbreakers (68%, 23 Votes)
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Balls Nasty (Champ) (37%, 13 Votes)
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MisterJLA (63%, 22 Votes)
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Nowhereman / Grimm / Darth (56%, 20 Votes)
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Snarf / Superbeasto / Johnny Evil (44%, 16 Votes)
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Joe Mama (Champ) (66%, 23 Votes)
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Captain Howdy (34%, 12 Votes)
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Juan "Jefe" Diablo (Champ) (17%, 6 Votes)
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PenWing (46%, 16 Votes)
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Senor Muerte (37%, 13 Votes)
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The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Monroe: Coming up next, we have for you..wait, what’s all of that commotion?
Marcum: It’s…MisterJLA!
MisterJLA is walking down the aisle, and the crowd starts to notice…
Monroe: But how come we don’t hear his theme music? And where’s the rest of the Powers?
MisterJLA, wearing his ring attire which consists of black boots, and black full length wrestling pants with the words “RACK me” written in blue across his ass, takes the ring, armed with a microphone…
JLA: Tonight…LAST…MAN…STANDING!
The crowd roars…!
JLA: Tonight…MisterJLA vs Balls Nasty II!
The crowd roars again!…
JLA: For the DCMB World Heavyweight Championship!
The crowd responds with…dead silence…
JLA: Is this thing on? I said: For the DCMB World Heavyweight Championship!
More silence from the crowd…
JLA: (Muttering to himself) : What the Hell?
JLA: Oh, come on! Who here loves the DC Message Boards? Give me an OH FUCK YEAH!
Nobody makes a sound…until one person from the crowd stands up and shouts “I love the DC Message Boards!” Seconds later, this fan is beaten up, and pelted with cups of soda. He would later be identified simply as “Lildeath”
JLA: (To himself) Rough crowd…
JLA: Well, two out of three ain’t bad! Tonight it’s going to be MisterJLA defeating Balls Nasty in a Last Man Standing match!
JLA has once again won the crowd over, as they cheer!
JLA: And as you can all see, tonight…I stand alone. No Rob’s Theme Music. No Captain Howdy. No Jeeves. No harleykwin. No Drzsmith. No World Tag Titles. Tonight, I get my revenge on Balls Nasty, all by myself.
Now I am well aware that Balls Nasty is connected. He has a great manager, and a man that I respect, in Slick. He’s aligned with the Legbreakererseseseseseses, a team that has designs on Howdy’s and my tag gold. He’s even on the same team as Joe Mama, the little coward who blindsided me last week, after my record-setting tournament match.
But you see, I’m not here to talk about all those other people. I know I’ll have to deal with them all down the road, but that’s not what tonight is about. Tonight is all about Nasty and I fighting each other until the finish. One on one. So I’m asking you, Nasty, to keep those clowns in the back. Tell them to sit back, and watch you get brutalized on their monitors in the locker room. I want you and I to settle this, man to man.
Marcum: He wants to keep the stables out of this! How noble!
Monroe: Or maybe he realizes how badly the Allied Powers are outnumbered!
This is a match so brutal, it cannot end until one of us is knocked off their feet for ten seconds. In a normal match, all it takes is a three count. But with tonight’s match, I have to knock that grimy scumbag out for a ten count…and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is the match I asked for, and I got it.
Tonight, anything goes! Steel chairs, tables: anything can be used! No DQ’s! But of all the objects and weapons that can be used, the one thing that Balls Nasty should be most fearful of is…my Final Justice! I don't have to wait for the perfect moment to use it this time! I can use my Final Justice at will!
Last time you used it against me, but this time, I have a plan!
And that plan will make sure that I am the two-time, two-time, two-time DCMB Champion!
Monroe: Why did he say “two-time” three times? Wasn’t he just supposed to say it twice?
Marcum: Shut it!
JLA:Tonight, it’s personal. Balls Nasty, you were the only person to ever…defeat me. But that wasn’t enough. You had to go and make a mockery of my belt. You used the center of my belt as ad space for Joe's Chicken and Donut Shack?!?
What a shameful thing to do! You could have at least sold the space to Wendy’s or Arby’s!
JLA pauses for a moment, and scratches his head...
JLA: No, that would have been wrong, too. You shamed my belt, and never even defended it! When I get my championship back, I will make sure I never lose it again. This is your first…and LAST title defense! Because I will be…the Last Man Standing!
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera cuts to the backstage area, where Chesty LeRou is standing beside Chris Oakley; in place of his normal mercenary-style attire, Chris is wearing cargo pants and a T-shirt with the words "YOU MISSED" on the front.
CHESTY: Chris, before we talk about your tag team match with Hombre Lagarto against Los Vatos de Fuego tonight, could you explain the meaning of this T-shirt you're wearing?
CHRIS: It's a little message to everybody who tried to take me out the last few months....No matter how many times guys like Louie Bastardo, Darien Irons, or PenWing try to knock me down, I pop back up again and come out swinging!! (huge pops from the crowd watching the interview on the Cheese-O-Tron.)It's also my way of hammering the final nail in XPW's casket.
CHESTY: You often teamed with Hombre Lagarto during your RDLL days--tell us how it feels to be reuniting with him tonight.
CHRIS: It feels dynamite, Chesty. Half of what I know about this business I learned from him, and the only thing that's going to be better than teaming up with him in the ring once again is--
Chris is abruptly interrupted in midsentence as the reigning RDLL tag team champions, Los Vatos de Fuego, blindside him in a two-on-one assault. Dropping her microphone, Chesty runs for her life as Oakley fights off both Vatos at once; as one of the Vatos tries to hit Oakley with a trash can, Hombre Lagarto rushes in out of nowhere and knocks him flat with a devastating forearm shot while Chris lays the other Vato out with the Red Alert. As the RDLL tag team champions lie unconscious on the arena floor, Chris picks up Chesty's mike and glares down contemptuously at both of them.
CHRIS:Congratulations, boys...you just made it easier for us to become the new RDLL World Tag Team Champions.
LAGARTO:Estas finitas,putas!
INSANE pops from the Cheesedome crowd as Chris and Lagarto walk off camera. Fade to commercial.
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*Balls Nasty is standing in his locker room in his street clothes with his bag sitting on the bench in front of him.*
Before I get to tonight's mandatory promo, let me first say a few words about the best DCMB sponsor yet.
*He picks up the belt.*
Strippers and Waffles. That's right. The only place in Hoboken where you can get both breakfast and a hard-on. Only the women with the biggest boobs and the smallest brains are hired. They have seven different kinds of syrup. And don't forget Thursday night is Two for One night. Buy one waffle or lapdance and get the second one free. Strippers and Waffles. Let them get you sticky.
Now, to the business at hand. JLA wanted a rematch so he can try and get his so called title back. He wanted to be able to use his Final Justice at any time without worrying about being disqualified. So he makes it a No DQ/Last Man Standing match. He has just put Balls Nasty in a match with no rules.... no limits..... *laughs*.... and he thinks he's the one with the advantage.
JLA doesn't want the Family Business involved. That's fine by me. I don't remember them at ringside when I took this belt from you. The way I remember it, it was your friend and tag partner who tried to influence the match. But this match will be different. It's just going to be you and me. Think you can handle it? Do you think you have what it takes to go one on one with me, JLA?
I warn you. I'm not one of these average wrestlers you're used to who lays down at the slightest punch or gives up when their backs are on the mat. I was born to fight, and it's what I do best. You can run your mouth all you want. When that bell rings, your well scripted words won't do you any good. It's put up or shut up time. Be ready, JLA, because tonight I put you back in your place.... again.
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Posts: 1,020
1000+ posts
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Backstage, The Crotch is interviewing Senor Veneno, the sinister black masked and black cloaked leader of Los Diablos. His cronies El Asesino (a huge man with shoulder length blonde hair and black tatoos) and Rey Locura (a shorter man in a dark blue mask) stand by
The Crotch: Tonight, Senor Veneno, you're facing off against Los Cazadores, who have united with James Fantastic for this one-off match.
Senor Veneno: Senor Veneno does not care for these...little men. El Aguila Joven thinks to restore his father's honour? Little men have no honour. Senor Veneno is the greatest wrestler there has ever been, as proved when he took El Huracan's mask. Los Cazadores may unite with the little Puta James Fantastic, but they will fail. Senor Veneno swears, and when he swears, it is so.
Crotch is more than a little confused by Senor Veneno's archaic way of speaking
The Crotch: Eh...okay. Rey Locura, you're the newest member of Los Diables after The Black Viper was retired by El Aguila Joven. What've you got to say about this feud?
Rey Locura: Non sono chi dico che sono! Sono il superhero di RDCW's!
The Crotch: What the hell did he just say?
El Asesino: Rey Locura speaks Italian when he wishes not to be comprended by little men, Senor Entrepierna. Now go, before I see fit to destroy you
The Crotch squals like a little girl and runs
OOK OOK ACK EEK!
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Posts: 5,000
5000+ posts
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*"Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" hits the sound system, and the SD Rockers hit the ring, with Terri Savitz. The quartet boogie along to the song, and the audience join in. Making their way to the ring, The SD Rockers pose for the audience before Fantastic producies a mic and speaks.*
James Fantastic: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of All Ages, put your hands together for the new sensation that is rocking the nation, coming soon to a Cheese-Dome near you, THE SD ROCKERS!
*The crowd whoops and cheers, going crazy for the team.*
James Fantastic: Thank you, Thank you. Now tonight we have the greatest crossover in wrestling history, as I team up with Los Cazadores to take on Los Diablos. You'll be hearing from Los Cazadores later in the evening, but for now, I think it's time for you to hear from The Sensational Surgeon, Tommy 'I'm that DAMN good!' Savitz!
*The crowd chants Tommy's name as he takes the mic.*
Tommy Savitz: Didn't I tell you, El Superbeasto? Last week, you tapped out to the Surgeon's Knife, and that time you had your cronies with you! What does that tell you, other than that I'm (the crowd joins in) that DAMN good!
*Tommy gets major pops from the crowd.*
Tommy Savitz: Thanks, guys. Tonight, I'd like to say only one other thing, and this is this: Johnny Evil, you are going down, brother! You are looking at the man who will be taking your belt, and his shapely wife, who is one half of the future Lipstick Lesbian TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!!!
*Terri blushes, but Tommy and James hoist her onto their shoulders and the crowd chantsher name. Two-Ton Tommy, meanwhile, has taken the mic, and speaks.*
Two-Ton Tommy: There's a member of the Family business I'd like to have a few words with. Last week, Charlie attacked James Fantastic, and alright, he got his ass handed to him...
*The crowd laughs, but Two-Ton Tommy motions for silence.*
Two-Ton Tommy: But I don't like it when my buddies get attacked, so I'm issuing a challenge to him. Charlie, you got an issue with SD-6, you settle it in the ring, okay? BRING IT!
*The crowd pops Two-Ton Tommy, and he hands the mic back to James Fantastic.*
James Fantastic: Now, folks, it's time to hear from the original Sudden Death Sensation, your Big Cheese Champion, and his compadres! Ladies and Gentlemen, THE ORIGINAL CLIQUE OF SD-6!
*The stomping beat of "We Will Rock You" blasts over the speakers and the fans roar to their feet and sing along as PenWing, with the Big Cheese Belt and the XPW World Championship belt both around his waist and his Sherwood in hand, Captain Sammitch, holding a breifcase, and Meeko make their way to the ring.*
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Everybody
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
Alright
*At the ring, PenWing and Captain Sammitch hold the ropes open for Meeko, and then enter after her. James hands PenWing the mic.*
PenWing: I missed, Oakers? Are you sure I was the one who missed last week? You might want to take another look at the footage, because I wasn't the one who missed the Kill 'Em All last week. And I wasn't the one who put myself through a table!
*Pops from the crowd.*
PenWing: I clearly hit the mark last week, Oakers! And look what it got me...
*PenWing removes the XPW World Championship belt from his waist and holds it up.*
PenWing: Take a good look, Oakers. This is the last time you're ever going to see this belt.
*PenWing hands the mic to Captain Sammitch.*
Sammitch: You're all probably wondering why I'm here tonight, since I don't have a match. Well, it is my distinct honor to call to the ring the Roboken Bomb Squad!
Marcum: The bomb squad? Here? What are the delinquents up to now?
*Several members of the Roboken Bomb Disposal Unit make their way to the ring with an Explosive Containment Box. Sammitch hands the mic to PenWing.*
PenWing: Gentlemen, if you would please open the box.
*PenWing places the XPW Wold Championship belt into the box. The explosive's technician seals the box, and hands a remote to PenWing. PenWing presses the button, and a muffled "boom" is heard from the box.*
Monroe: Buhbawb! Did they just blow up the XPW title belt?
*The technicians open the box and dump it's contents onto the mat.*
Marcum: I don't believe it!
PenWing: Take a good look, Oakers! And while we're at it, Juan "Jefe" Diablo and Senor Muerte, you had better take a long look at this as well. Because that is exactly what's going to happen to the RDLL championship belt after I win it tonight!
*Huge pops from the crowd.*
PenWing: As for the briefcase in Sammitch's hand, tonight will also be the last time you will see this Heavyweight Cheese Belt around anyone's waist!
Marcum: What!? Is the knucklehead going to blow up the Cheese Belt, too!?
*PenWing removes the Big Cheese Belt from his waist and holds it up.
PenWing: Tonight, this belt will be retired to the RDCW Hall of Fame!
*PenWing hands the title belt to James White, who places it in a briefcase of his own. Sammitch then opens the briefcase in his hands, and PenWing raises the new Heavyweight Cheese Title above his head.*
PenWing: From now on, this will be the Big Cheese Belt! And this belt says it all, because, anytime, anywhere, (the crowd joins in) SUDDEN DEATH RULES!
*PenWing hands the mic to Meeko.*
Meeko: Last week, the Bastardo Bunny thought it would be fun to interfere in our tag match. But the little Bunny didn't know we'd be ready for her. What happened last week was no accident. My job as a manager is to find the best talent available and to try and recruit it. And I've done just that! I scouted every wrestling company all across the globe, but it was in a little known company in Pittsburgh that I found exactly what I was looking for. Ladies and Gentlemen, our partner in the Trios match later tonight against Sneaky Bunny and the Anibabes, the Real Harlequin, Lor!
*"Revolution" by Aimee Allen blasts over the speakers and Lor makes her way sexily down the ramp to the ring. This time, she's sporting jeans, a black 'n' red "Harlequin" t-shirt, and cowboy boots.*
Monroe: Buhbawb! It is Lor!
Marcum: I don't think Meeko has any idea what she's about to unleash on the RDCW Women's devision! Lor was banned in half the promotions across the globe!
Monroe: But she's here now! And she couldn't have picked a better time to make her debut!
*Lor enters the ring, and Meeko hands her the mic.*
Lor: That was a very nice introduction, Meeko, but I want to make it clear that I didn't come to the RDCW to make friends. This team up tonight with SD-6, it's a one-time deal. I'm only here for two reasons. One: Sneaky Bunny, that Boobie Belt you wear around your waist? It doesn't belong to you, hun. It belongs to me!
*(Pops from the crowd)*
Lor: And two: I'm here because there's a cheap, fake, lesser quality copy of me running around the Cheesedome... Harleykwin! There can only be one Harlequin! And that's me!
*Lor drops the mic and exits the ring seductively while her music plays over the speakers.*
Monroe: Buhgawb! Lor just called out Sneaky Bunny and Harleykwin in almost the same breath!
Marcum: She's declared war on both the Bastardo Family and the Allied Powers, and she hasn't even had a match yet!
*The members of SD-6, still in the ring, give each other confused looks as the show goes to break.*
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
"Faded" plays over the CheeseDome speakers. Joe Mama walks to the ring, microphone in hand. He has a disconcertingly cheerful smile on his face. He enters the ring and faces the crowd.JM: You people have no idea how truly happy I am to be here! Not because I support our sister promotion south of the border. Frankly, I didn't know we HAD a sister promotion south, north, or west of the border. I'm happy because our "honorable" GM actually thought that he was gonna give me the night off! You see, the RDLL doesn't have a title that equals my Euro-Cunt-Inental Title, so Doc thought it'd be unfair to "force" me to compete against someone either too small or too inexperienced to be worth my time! So he was just happy to give me the chance to rest and recover from any lingering injuries. Isn't that funny? Fortunately, at last week's Havoc, I laid the groundwork for my match tonight by showing MisterJLA why it's never a good idea to speak ill of the Bastardo Family in general, and the Family's Enforcer specifically! How are the ol' HUEVOS, JLA? Still REVUELTOS? (Laughs) Now, MisterJLA COULD have demanded a shot at me and my Title. But I guess the chance to regain his DCMB Title was FAR too important!!!  So he sent his AMANTE ALEGRE to challenge me! Who's the COBARDE, SENORJLA? PENDEJO! (I like this whole Spanish thing!) MisterJLA, you said something about keeping various partners and factions out of your match with Balls Nasty. Well, when I face off against Capitán Howdy later tonight, I hope you do the smart thing and follow your own advice! Because, let me promise you something: If you show your Cara Fea in my match, I WILL beat the unholy INFIERNO out of you! Got it, PUTO?!? Captain Howdy, I know you. I know your reputation. I know that you are a brutal competitor. And I know that about 75% of what's whispered about you is the truth, with the other 25% being too mild to be the truth! What I don't know, Howdy, is why you're letting MisterJLA ride your coattails! How does the hardcore legend - the scourge of the Hardcore Ranks - Captain Howdy allow himself to be lessened by someone as laughable as MisterJLA??? I suppose the answer - in the end - is who give a damn?!? The only important fact is that you had a hand in stealing the Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Tag Titles from me and King Snarf. And, for that, you and I have some business to finish. You may have an eye on the Euro-Cunt-Inental Title, but the only thing on my mind is inflicting pain on you. Whether I win this match tonight or lose it, you're sorry self is leaving this arena in an ambulance! COUNT ON IT!!! "Faded" starts again as Joe Mama leaves the ring and heads back to the locker rooms...
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 257
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Monroe: Buhgawd! Those were certainly strong words from Joe Mama!
Marcum: Captain Howdy doesn't stand a chance! Joe Mama's going to run riot tonight!
Monroe: I wouldn't be so sure, Marcum! Their match is ECW Rulez, and Captain Howdy is unbeaten in his run so far!
Marcum: Maybe, but he hasn't faced anyone of Joe Mama's ability! Joe Mama single-handedly retired The rWo! He's held the Tag belts multiple times! He unified The Intercuntinental and Eurotrash belts-twice! Nobody can beat him
Monroe: Shut up Marcum! People, I've just received word that James Fantastic is backstage with Los Cazadores, and has a few words for Los Diablos
The Cheese-O-Tron goes to the backstage, where James Fantastic is standing with EL Aguila Joven and El Huracan
James Fantastic: When I was young, I spent several years of my life in Mexico. One week, my dad decided to take me to see an RDLL show in our home-town. That show left a lasting impression on me, in fact it's safe to say that I wouldn't be here if I hadn't seen that show, but it was one wrestler in particular that impressed me. That man was El Aguila, and he was and is the greatest Luchadore Mexico has ever seen.
El Aguila Joven takes the mic, and speaks
El Aguila Joven: I am deeply honoured by Senor Fantastico's words, and I am sure that if my father were still with us he would be touched. But, alas, he has recently met his end, due to a weak heart condition. But, Senor Veneno, I know the truth.
El Aguila's pauses for breath, and a hush falls over The Cheese-Dome
El Aguila Joven: My father died of dishonour, caused by your unlawful taking of his mask, Senor Veneno. Nothing mattered more to me than my father, and I have already sworn vengeance on your unworthy skin. But I also add this vow: if I win tonight, you will unmask. I challeneg you to make this match Mascara contra Mascara, Mask against Mask.
Monroe: Buhgawd! Folks, this match just got bigger than ever!
El Aguila Joven: My name is El Aguila Joven. You killed my Father. Prepare to die.
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*Cut to the Bond Brigade dressing room,where Los Monstros Azules are warming up for their steel cage bout against the Legbreakerses for hire.*
Senor Perdicion:Tonight,amigo,we will destroy the Legbreakerses and show the people why we are the greatest tag team in the world!
El Daga(nods):Si!And then we will break that cabeza de mierda Louie Bastardo in two like the little perro that he is!
SP(raising his fist):Viva Los Azules!
EP(stamping his foot on a cardboard cutout of Louie Bastardo):Y muerte a la Familia Bastardo!
Estamos El Equipo Mas Grande En El Mundo!
VIVA LOS AZULES!
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
Women's Trios Match
Sneaky Bunny (captain), Cowgirl Jack and Bianca versus Meeko (captain), Terri Savitz, and Lor
The match started off with one high flying move after another, and it never let up. Meeko-plexes, huracanranas, and bulldogs kept being hit to perfection, but both teams took advantage of Trios rules, rolling themselves, or pulling their teammates out of the ring so that a fresh wrestler could hit her move on the woman in the ring.
Finally, the match turned into a brawl, with Terri and Lor battling the Anibabes outside the ring, and Meeko fighting Sneaky Bunny inside the ring. The two captains kept going at each other, but Sneaky Bunny finally got the upper hand and hit the Taxidermy to pin Meeko for the win.
As the referee raised Sneaky's hand, Lor attacked her from behind and hit the Punch & Judy, before locking the Women's Booby Champ in La Pagliaccia. The referees and Terri Savitz tried franticly to pull Lor off of the champ.
Terri finally convinces Lor to release the hold and tries to calm her down, but gets hit with Punch & Judy for her efforts. Then Lor leaves the ring and heads to the back, to the confusion of the fans.
Tag Match
Homeland Security (G-Man and Wbam) versus El Caliente Merdes (Senor Baggocrappo and El Asso Wippo
Homeland Security hit the ring and immediately took a mic. As the G-Man stated their focus towards keeping the RDCW free from anymore of the recent "invasions" that had taken place and that tonight they would start with the RDLL stars!
El Caliente Merdes took exception to this and blasted the neocons with double dropkicks, knocking them to the arena floor! The match was underway with lucha rules, and the lucha stars kept their foes at a disadvantage early on.
The right wingers quickly rebounded, however and hit Asso Wippo with a devastating WMD! Homeland Security took the win, but afterwards Senor Baggocrappo nailed both with his trademark bag of crap, sending them to the arena floor.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
Singles Match
Miguel Peterson versus El Guano
The match began as popular Miguel Peterson made his way to ringside, complete with bagpipes, kilt, and his yarmulke. Many fans held up signs with Peterson's trademark catchphrases such as "Yo no es un fagoto" and "Puedo grabar et buttockos?" As he began to play his traditional Canadian highlander theme music, the hated El Guano made his way to ringside. As the fans booed the foul smelling Guano, he attacked Miguel with his own bagpipes!
Peterson recovered and managed to catch Guano in a powerslam.
MarcuM: Did he just touch Guano's ass?
Monroe: He's not gay.
MarcuM: Are you sure?
Peterson: Yo no es un fagoto!
Peterson went for a tackle off the ropes, but Guano ducked it and hit his finisher, the 1000% Guano (Rock Bottom) for the win!
RDLL Tag Titles
Los Vatos de Fuego defend against Chris Oakley and Hombre Lagarto
The action starts with Chris and Hombre Lagarto coming down to the ring to their old RDLL entrance theme "Shot In The Dark";as they're playing to the crowd Los Vatos de Fuego blindside them with the RDLL tag team title belts.From there,it's a Pier 6 slugfest that sees Chris and Lagarto seize the momentum halfway through the match.Chris gets Vato #1 set up for the Red Alert,but just as he's about to deliver it a masked figure calling himself the Killer sprays him in the face with what looks like baking soda,allowing Vato #2 to get the pinfall and the victory.
Just as the Vatos are celebrating, Homeland Security hits the ring and delivers double WMDs upon them and seizing the RDLL tag titles! The neocons leave the ring with the belts, promising this is just the beginning!
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Trios Match
James Fantastic/Los Cazadores vs. Los Diablos
This match would see honour, vengeance and justice all go on the line as El Aguila Joven faced off with long-time foes Los Diablos.
The match started with a flurry of high speed moves as El Huracan and Senor Veneno kicked off the match. Eventually Senor Veneno got the upper hand and attempted to lock in his finisher, a deadly camel clutch known as La lengueta del Veneno (the poison tongue), but El Huracan fought free of the move and hit a missile dropkick before tagging in El Aguila Joven, whilst Senor Veneno was replaced in the ring with El Asesino.
Monroe: Senor Veneno's got to be scared of facing El Aguila Joven!
Marcum: He's just playing clever, trying to tire him out before going for the finish!
El Asesino dominated his smaller foe, slamming him around the ring before picking him up and flinging him over the top rope. However this enabled James Fantastic to enter the ring.
Monroe: The SD Rocker's in the house!
Fantastic quickly dominated the match, using his speed to keep one ahead of El Asesino before scoring a two count with a roll-up. However, El Asesino fought back, using his strenght advantage to keep Fantastic grounded, hitting him with powerslams and chokeslams every time The SD Rocker went to the top rope. This didn't last, however, as Fantastic reversed an irish whip into an irish whip of his own, followed by a drop toe hold. He then locked in the SD Rocker, attempting to force El Asesino to tap out. Senor Veneno attempted to distract the ref, but El Asesino eventually tapped out, eliminating him from the match.
Monroe: The faces are ahead! If they score one more fall they've won the match!
Senor Veneno attempted to persuade Rey Locura to enter the ring, but the crazy Italian refused to enter the ring, and Senor Veneno was forced to go in himself.
Marcum: What's wrong with Rey Locura? Why won't he go into the ring?
Monroe: Ask anybody who speaks Italian, Marcum! I think Veneno's in for a nasty surprise!
However, it looked as if the Evil Luchadore's experience would turn the tide, as he quickly gained dominance over Fantastic before locking in La Lengueta del Veneno. Fantastic looked as if he would tap, but managed to grab a rope and break the hold. He then tagged in El Huracan, who floored Senor Veneno with a flying forearm smash before hitting Death to the Gringos. Veneno kicked out of the pin, but stayed on the ground, enabling El Huracan to hit the Triplesault.
Monroe: Here comes the second pin!
Marcum: I wouldn't be so sure, Mouth! LOOK!
Sure enough, The Gardiera brothers, El Millonario Enojado, El Ángel Caído and El Hijo Del Lobo ran down to interfere in the match. Whilst arena security attempted to restrain them, it served to distract the ref, allowing Senor Veneno to attack El Huracan with a steel chair before choking him in The Tree of Woe. When the ref returned his attention to the match Senor Veneno locked in La lengueta del Veneno, and El Huracan lastly only a short while before tapping out, levelling the two sides.
Marcum: Los Diablos just levelled the match! And with those boys at ringside they've got this in the bag!
Monroe: Don't be so sure Marcum! Rey Locura's yet to get involved, and I'm sure you won't like it when he does!
El Aguila entered the ring, and Senor Veneno went to tag in Rey Locura, but Locure dropped to the arena floor, stopping Senor Veneno from getting him involved in the match. This left Veneno to face El Aguila Joven alone, and the two foes rapidly got down to business. All attempts at sublety and technique were forgotten, as the two got down to pummelling each other.
Marcum: Senor Veneno's got to take control of this match! If he just brawls with El Aguila Joven he's doomed!
Just as it looked like El Aguila Joven might have beaten Senor Veneno down enough to pin him El Millionario Enojado entered the ring and hit the Millionaire Drop (Sitout Facebuster). Fortunately Fantastic was able to make the save before climbing the turnbuckle and leaping into the wrestlers at ringside, flattening several of them but unfortunately taking himself out of the match at the same time. This left a now exhausted El Aguila Joven to face off with Senor Veneno, who had gained his second wind, and went for a Phoenix Splash. However, as he went to the turnbuckle Rey Locura entered the ring and hit him with a Spinning Superkick.
Marcum: What's Rey Locura doing? He just hit...wait a minute, I know that move!
Monroe: You sure do, Madman! It's the Spandex Superkick!
Sure enough, Rey Locura peeled off his mask and robe to reveal the familiar figure of Spandex Monkey Man, who issued his trademark cry before climbing the top rope and hitting a Spandex Supersault.
Marcum: It CAN'T be! Johnny Evil retired Spandex Monkey Man months ago!
Monroe: Well he's back!
As Senor Veneno struggled back to his feet SPAMM went to hit The Might of The Monkey but was stopped by El Millionario Enojado. As a brawl broke out in the ring the ref order the bell to ring, disqualifying both sides and declaring the match a draw.
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Steel Cage Match
Los Monstros Azules (Senor Perdicion and El Daga) versus The Legbreakers (Stupid Doog and Winged Creature) with Louie Bastardo
As Los Monstros Azules came to the ring, it was clear that they were the fan favorites. The Legbreakers came out with Louie Bastardo amid boos and hisses from the crowd. When both teams were in the ring, the cage door was closed and the match began.
Los Monstros Azules, had control of the match early on and were feeding off the crowd. After two Asesinos del Tijuana, Los Monstros thought the match was finished and made their way to the cage door. But Louie Bastardo fought with the ref to keep it closed and, as Los Monstros yelled at both of them, The Legbreakers were able to shake the cobwebs off. They assaulted the Luchadors and then climbed the cage on opposite sides and exited the cage, winning the match.
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MisterJLA promo:
Chesty Lerou is seen standing outside MisterJLA’s locker room, waiting to get some final comments before his match with Balls Nasty. JLA steps out of his locker room, and Chesty catches him by surprise…
Chesty: MisterJLA, one final interview before your match with Balls Nasty?
JLA: I’ve said all that I care to say. Now if you’ll excuse me…
Chesty bats her eyes…
Chesty:Awww…please…?
JLA: Oh, all right. Because it’s you.
Chesty: Terrific! You must have heard Joe Mama’s comments earlier. What do you have to say in response?
JLA: I’m promised myself I wouldn’t get distracted with that. I need to focus on Nasty…
Chesty bats her eyes again…
Chesty: I really could use an exclusive statement about Joe Mama. And since this event features Rob's Damn Lucha Libre, can I get the comment in Spanish…I love it when guys speak Spanish!
JLA scratches his head…
JLA: ¡Joe de Mama, vestiré como un payaso, visitaré su hogar en la noche, y le forzaré comer habas mientras que le canto!
Chesty:…?
JLA: And to think that I failed Spanish in High School! Suck on that, Mrs. Thompson! Who’s laughing now!
And if you like that Chesty, there’s more, much more where that came from…
JLA looks at Chesty’s…chest, winks, then leaves for the ring. As the camera pans away, an image can be briefly seen in an un-lit corner of the hallway, which appears to be Darth…
DCMB World Heavyweight Championship: Last Man Standing
Balls Nasty (Champion) vs. MisterJLA (Former Champion)
MisterJLA walks down the Cheesedome aisle, staying true to his word: he walks alone, without his trademark music. Just as he approaches the ring, Balls Nasty runs up behind him, hitting him across the back of the head with the DCMB Belt!
Monroe: The champ sneak attacked him! Lothar has called for the bell, and we’re underway!
Seizing the opportunity, Nasty kicks JLA while he’s down, several times. He then picks up his enemy by the hair, and places him in a side headlock.
Monroe: I never thought we’d see a simple headlock in a match that’s guaranteed to be a war!
Marcum: I don’t think that’s what he has in mind!
Nasty takes JLA, and runs toward the outside ring post…
Marcum: He wants to use JLA’s head as a battering ram! If his head hits the post at that speed, the match may end that quickly!
JLA however, pushes Nasty off of him at the last moment, and sends Nasty into the ring post instead.
Monroe: That had to hurt! Oh no…JLA’s heading for us!
MisterJLA walks slowly toward the announcer’s table. He stops in front of Madman Marcum, and simply says “Chair”.
Marcum quickly gets to his feet, folds his chair, and hands it to MisterJLA.
Marcum: Here you go, sir!
Without saying a word, JLA walks over to where Balls Nasty is struggling to get to his feet.
Monroe: “Here you go, sir!” What a wimp!
Marcum: You would have done the same thing!
As Nasty gets to his feet, he is greeted with a vicious chair shot…
Marcum: Damn!
Nasty falls to the arena floor, and JLA stands over him…
Monroe: I think he wants to go for it again!
Monroe is correct. As Nasty gets to his feet, he is hit over the head with a steel chair for the second time.
JLA then places the folded chair under his opponent’s head, and walks over to the announcer’s table for a second time. This time he approaches Monroe, and again simply says one word: “Chair”
Mike “The Mouth” Monroe quickly gets to his feet, folds his chair, and hands it to MisterJLA.
Monroe: Here you go, sir!
Marcum: Ha. I told you so.
JLA walks over to where Nasty is lying, and holds the chair high above his head. Moments later, he brings it crashing down on Nasty’s face.
Marcum: Nasty’s face just got sandwiched in-between two chairs! He’s now busted open!
As Balls Nasty rolls around in pain, JLA points to Lothar and says “Count”. Lothar counts to four, but Nasty gets to his feet. JLA then tries to hit Nasty in the head again with the chair, but Nasty catches it on the way down, kicks JLA in the stomach, and hits him with the The Camero Cut, the very move used to win the DCMB Title.
Nasty then carries JLA over to the announcer’s table, and places him on top. Fearing the worst, Marcum and Monroe run for cover. After catching his breath, Nasty sends JLA through the table with “The Tavernsmasher” his version of the Death Valley Driver. Nasty then points to Lothar and says “Count”
Lothar counts to four, until JLA is standing on both feet. A frustrated Balls Nasty then takes a cable from one of the cameras, and begins to choke JLA with it. JLA fights his way free, but Nasty stays on the attack by Irish whipping him into the barricade, and then following up by picking up the challenger and dropping his neck across the barricade.
Next, Nasty sets up for a DDT, but as he tries to drill JLA’s head into the outside floor, JLA grabs the barricade, and Nasty sends himself crashing to the floor. JLA follows with an Irish whip to the ring post, and Nasty hits it full-speed. Seeing that his enemy is propped up against the post, JLA grabs a chair, and smashes his enemy across the face with it, sending blood flying. The Champion starts to crawl away, while digging in his tights for something…
JLA: Now’s not the time for that you perv!
He then drops the chair, and picks up Nasty by his hair…only to be greeted with a punch that sends blood spraying out of his nose! Nasty lets loose with a laugh, and holds up his hand…he is wearing a pair of brass knuckles! He then urges JLA to get up, and he measures him up for another punch. JLA does get up after a some time, and Nasty winds up for another punch with the knucks…but JLA ducks it, and connects with The Final Justice!
As he hits his finishing move, a loud “KLANK” sound is heard throughout the Cheesedome! Nasty then slumps to the arena floor!
Monroe: It appears that our audio is working for the moment, ladies and gentlemen! No chairs, and without a table, we’re going to try to finish this play-by-play! What kind of a weird sound was that, Madman?
Marcum: It sounded like metal hitting metal! That was strange! We know that Nasty wore a steel cup last match, so does that mean that JLA is wearing steel boots? If so, he just drove Nasty’s cup into his…you know…
With Nasty reeling in agony, JLA taps his boots that are lined with some sort of metal, laughs, and asks for a count from Lothar. Lothar counts to seven this time, before Nasty is up on both feet. Remembering that Nasty is wearing the brass knuckles, JLA shoves him to the ground, and then stomps on his hand!
Monroe: He could have just broken his hand! This guy is vengeful!
Nasty screams in pain, and quickly takes the brass knuckles off, and throws them into the crowd. JLA capitalizes on this distraction, and delivers another “Final Justice”…”KLANK”!
Lothar immediately begins his count, and while it looks like Nasty is finished, he barely gets to his feet at the count of nine. JLA goes for the kill, but walks right into a kick to the stomach: and for the second time, Nasty completes The Camero Cut: the Samoan Drop converted into a deadly stunner!
Realizing that it will take more to earn a ten count, Nasty rolls JLA into the ring, and then follows after him.
Monroe: The match has been going on for some time, but this is the first action that we’ll see in the ring.
Nasty then hits a belly-to belly suplex, followed by a powerful superplex off the top rope!
Marcum: That superplex appears to have hurt Nasty as much as JLA! I bet he regrets doing that!
Nasty gets to his feet, holding his back. He then rolls out of the ring, and looks under the ring apron. He soon finds what he was looking for: a table. He slides it under the bottom rope, but as he tries to re-enter the ring, JLA hits a third Final Justice! <Klank>
The bloodied JLA screams “That’s it!” and orders Lothar to count.
1..2…3…4…5…6…7
At the seven count, Nasty grabs the ring ropes, and attempts to pull himself up…
8…9…
Nasty, using the ropes for support, just beats the ten count. An enraged JLA picks up the table and tries to hit Nasty with it, but Nasty kicks the table into the challenger, stunning him.
Nasty then grabs JLA by the neck, causing him to drop the folded table, and then hits a second Tavernsmasher, barely missing the folded table.
Covered with his own blood and exhausted, Nasty slides the table out of the way. He then points to the top rope…
Marcum: I think he’s calling for it!
Nasty slowly makes his way to the top turnbuckle. He pauses, looks to the crowd, then looks at his fallen enemy. Next, he launches himself off the top rope, and drives his knee into JLA’s head.
Monroe: The Kentucky Falls! That has to be the end of the match!
But Nasty isn’t done. He grabs the table and unfolds it near the same corner he just dove from. He then places MisterJLA on top, and again climbs the turnbuckles…
Monroe: What could he possibly go for now?
Nasty gets to the top, and wastes no time in jumping off the top, and hitting JLA with a frog splash, breaking the table.
Marcum: The Flying Tea Bag Slam! Joe Mama must have taught him that! He drove JLA through the table, but Nasty is clutching his stomach! He hurt himself!
Both wrestlers are unconscious on top of the broken table. A confused Lothar begins to count…
1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!
Monroe: What?!? We can’t have a draw!
Lothar motions toward announcer James White, and says something to him. White makes the announcement:
White: Ladies and gentlemen, Lothar has counted to ten for both men. However, since this is a Championship bout, whoever gets to both feet first is the winner, and Champion!
The crowd cheers wildly, and Lothar stands in the middle of the ring, waiting for one man to climb to his feet.
MisterJLA slowly crawls to one side of the ring, with Balls Nasty crawling toward the opposite side.
Monroe: These guys have had it! They know they will have to use the ropes are leverage to pull themselves up!
Marcum: I hate to admit it, but you’re right! They could never get to their feet on their own power!
With both wrestlers on an opposite side of the ring, the tension mounts. JLA grabs a hold of the second rope, and tries to pull himself up. Nasty does the same. However, JLA slips off the rope and falls to the canvas, while Nasty maintains his hold.
Monroe: JLA just fell to the canvas! He’ll have to start all over again! Meanwhile, Nasty is almost there!
JLA begins to crawl back to the middle of the ring, where Lothar is standing. JLA sees that Nasty is almost to his feet. JLA then grabs a hold of Lothar’s referee shirt, spinning him around.
Monroe: Look at him! He’s trying to pull himself up by Lothar’s shirt! He’s trying to use him as support!
Marcum: Brilliant!
Monroe: “Brilliant” my foot! The referee is there to make the call, not to be used as leverage!
JLA continues to try to pull himself to his feet using Lothar as an anchor, and Lothar continues to try to break free from JLA’s grasp. As this is going on…
Monroe: He did it! Nasty finally pulled himself off his ass, and is standing on both feet! Nasty retains the title!
Marcum: Not so fast! Lothar’s back is turned as he is still tying to breakaway from the challenger! He hasn’t noticed that Nasty is on his feet!
Monroe: This match should be over!
Marcum: But it isn’t!
After a few more moments of JLA and Lothar struggling, Nasty falls to the canvas.
Monroe: He blacked out again!
Lothar finally pries JLA’s hands off his referee’s shirt, and JLA is sent to the mat again. Lothar turns around and see Nasty on the canvas.
Monroe: He missed it!
JLA crawls over to where Nasty is, and rolls him out of the ring. Moments later, he latches onto the second rope, and pulls himself to both feet. Lothar calls for the bell…
White: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this special Last Man Standing match…and NEW DCMB World Heavyweight Champion: MisterJLA!
Lothar hands JLA the DCMB Title, and when he sees the ad placed over the centerpiece, he looks down at it with disgust.
JLA then motions to James White, who hands JLA the mic.
JLA: Nasty: get in here! I’ve got something to say to you!
Balls Nasty gets to his feet, and enters the ring.
JLA: You gave me one Hell of a match. I still think you’re a piece of trash…but I have to get credit where credit is due. Here.
JLA extends his hand.
After looking around at the crowd who are chanting “No!”, Nasty shakes JLA’s hand, and heads for the locker room.
JLA: Not so fast.
Monroe: Oh no! He never should have trusted JLA, and turned his back to him!
Nasty slowly and carefully turns around. MisterJLA surprises him, by handing him the DCMB Belt.
JLA: Here. A little token to remember our match by.
Nasty nods his head in appreciation.
JLA: Oh yeah, I’ve got one more thing to remember our match by…
<KLANK>
Monroe: I don’t believe him! Another Final Justice! What a creep!
The crowd boos JLA loudly.
JLA: Did you think I’d want that belt after what you did to it? And did you really think I’d want to be your pal? Dumbass!
I already placed the order: next week, a new DCMB Belt will be here! And I’m going to show these people what a real championship, and a real champion, is supposed to look like!
Hit the music!
Rob’s Killer Instinct Rip-Off Theme Music plays, and JLA staggers back down the aisle...
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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Trios Match
Nowhereman and Dark Lords (Grimm and Darth) with Chesty Lerou versus King Snarf, El Superbeasto, and Johnny Evil with Louie Bastardo
"Ecstasy of Gold" played as the Bastardo members hit the ring first. Grace, Ariel, and Louie did a quick "rock, paper, scissors" to determine who would second their team and Louie won. As the girls headed backstage, El Superbeasto took the mic.
ES: I have something to say! First, it is good to be back with my lucha brothers! Second, Chesty Lerou. . .I am big fan of your giant. . .interviews. 
*Johnny, Louie, and Snarf laugh at this.
ES: Chesty, after match tonight. . .you have free pass to Bastardo locker room, where El Superbeasto will show you meaning of "true lucha style!"
*The Bastardoes laugh even harder at this.
Monroe: I still don't know what that means!
ES: And then, Chesty, when I am done with you. . .I break you like pinata!
Monroe: That's sick! He's a maniac!
MarcuM: He's a wildman from the jungles of South America! What do you expect?!
The arena lights darkened as "Black Wedding" began to play. Fog filtered out through the entrance as TWO sarcophagi wheeled out onto the stage. The lights started to go up again as Chesty Lerou stepped out between the sarcophagi, wearing a black robe. Chesty began to tease taking off the robe, as the fans went wild. The Imperial March cued up and Chesty pulled off the robe, to reveal a black leather dominatrix outfit!
The fans screamed as the sarcophagi opened and the Dark Lords stepped out, joining Chesty on the rampway!
Monroe: I think the Dark Lords took exception to Superbeasto's comments, Madman!
MarcuM: Chesty, you got some splainin to do! 
Monroe: What?! 
"Creeping Death cued up as Team Captain Nowhereman joined his allied on the rampway, and the three stormed the ring, and a full on brawl was underway!
Darth went straight for Superbeasto, as the two behemoths battled to the outside of the ring! Grimm and Johnny Evil fought in one corner of the ring as Nowhereman and Snarf renewed their rivalry! Louie Bastardo exhorted his men to work together and fight, as Chesty whipped the fans into a frenzy!
Outside the ring, Superbeasto chokeslammed Darth through a table, and began stalking Chesty. Superbeasto chased her around the ring. The Giant Luchadore almost had her, but was hit by a flying axehandle from behind by Grimm! Grimm attempted to ram the beast's head into the ringpost, but Superbeasto gripped the post and resisted. Darth recovered and went to help but was hit with an Evilsault (Asai Moonsault) as Johnny Evil landed on the Dark Lord!
Nowhereman and Snarf brawled furiously in the ring as both attempted to lockin their submission maneuvers! Snarf went for a Wildsault, but was hit with a Cunt Fu Kick! Nowhereman bounded off the ropes, but Louie Bastardo attempted to trip him. Nowhereman grabbed the manager and pulled him up onto the ring apron! Snarf went for a running elbow, but Nowhereman stepped aside and Snarf crashed into his own manager, knocking Louie to the arena floor! Louie rolled on the floor in pain as Grace returned to ringside to check on him.
Superbeasto attempted to chokeslam both Dark Lords, but was hit by a low blow from behind by Chesty!
Monroe: Apparently Chesty's refused Superbeasto's offer!
MarcuM: She doesn't know what she's missing!
Monroe: I think she does!
The Dark Lords hit Straight to Hell on Superbeasto on the arena floor and dragged Johnny Evil out of the ring for the same!
Monroe: Buhgawb! What a brutal match!
The Dark Lords slid back into the ring as Nowhereman locked the Crippler Cuntface on Snarf directly in the center of the ring!
Monroe: Nowhere for Snarf to go! He's got it locked in!
Snarf finally relented and began to tap out, as the ref signalled for the bell! Nowhereman's music hit as he, the Dark Lords, and Chesty celebrated their victory, while the Bastardoes collected themselves at ringside and made their way backstage.
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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ECW Rulez Inter-Cunt-Inental Title Match
Joe Mama versus Captain Howdy
Captain Howdy was the first to the ring. Before actually entering, though, he reached under the ring and started tossing various “foreign” objects into the ring: Steel chair, fire extinguisher, street signs, Singapore cane, 2x4, and other items. Then Captain Howdy entered the ring himself to wait for his opponent.
Monroe: Well, say this for Captain Howdy: he’s dispensing with any pretenses. Tonight, Captain Howdy will use any weapon and do anything to win the Inter-Cunt-Inental Title from Joe Mama!
Marcum: I think I’m actually worried for the Bastardo Family Enforcer! This is a match specifically geared to Captain Howdy!
“Faded” played as Joe Mama stepped out from the back, his duffel bag in one hand and the Inter-Cunt-Inental Title draped over his shoulder. He placed the bag down, unzipped it, and withdrew Loosie – his barbed wire-wrapped Louisville Slugger. Then Joe Mama stood, pointed to Captain Howdy and then to the stands.
Marcum: I take back what I said! Joe Mama is DEFINITELY ready for this match!!!
Monroe: Joe Mama is calling his shot, making it clear that Captain Howdy doesn’t intimidate him…
Captain Howdy motioned to Joe Mama to “bring it on”, so Joe Mama made his way to the ring, tossing his title belt to the timekeeper before entering the ring. The match had barely begun when the two competitors clashed. Captain Howdy brandished a 2x4 against the Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion and his faithful “sidekick”. Howdy’s first blow struck Joe Mama in the ribs as he raked the barbed wire across Howdy’s face, immediately cutting him open. But the blow had its effect, as Joe Mama stumbled back from the shot. Captain Howdy pressed forward, taking swings that Joe Mama was able to dodge…barely.
Monroe: Joe Mama may have drawn first blood, but Captain Howdy may have delivered a crippling blow!
Marcum: Don’t say that! Joe Mama has suffered worse injuries and finished the match!
Seeing Joe Mama back into a corner, Captain Howdy dropped the 2x4, his face a grim, grinning death mask. Howdy motioned him to get out of the ring and face him. Joe Mama dropped the bat and came at Captain Howdy. Howdy quickly picked up a “Speed Limit” sign and swung, but Joe Mama ducked under it, spun around, and chop-blocked Captain Howdy, taking out his right knee and sending him to the mat.
Joe Mama, still favoring his ribs, grabbed the Singapore cane and started going to work on Captain Howdy’s back and ribs. Captain Howdy kept trying to get up but each blow sent him back down. Finally, Joe Mama tossed the cane aside and went for the steel chair, allowing Captain Howdy to slide out of and under the ring. Joe Mama turned to continue the attack, but his foe was gone! He rolled out of the ring to hunt for his opponent. Captain Howdy slid out from under the ring on the other side, rushed at Joe Mama, and delivered a brutal clothesline. Then Howdy crouched over Joe Mama and started raking something across his face.
Marcum: MY GAWD!!! Captain Howdy is tearing Joe Mama’s face apart with a piece of barbed wire!!!
Monroe: Turnaround is fair play, Marcum! Now they’re BOTH bloody messes!!!
After alternating between the barbed wire and punches to the head, Captain Howdy got off Joe Mama and Irish whipped him into the ring steps. Then he rolled into the ring and grabbed Loosie. He took a few practice swings and then rolled back out of the ring, grinning maliciously. Joe Mama was back on his feet, wiping blood from his eyes, when Captain Howdy got to him. He stumbled back as Captain Howdy took his first swing, just barely missed.
Marcum: STRIKE ONE!!!
Captain Howdy took another swing that Joe Mama, which he was able to dodge…
Marcum: STRIKE TWO!!!
…And move in to hit Captain Howdy with Final Justice!
Monroe: FOUL BALL!!!
Howdy dropped the bat as he doubled over in pain. Joe Mama scooped him into a suplex position and then delivered a Brain Buster, driving Captain Howdy headfirst to the ring floor. Then Joe Mama rolled his stunned foe back into the ring. His ribs still hurting, Joe Mama took a moment to catch his breath before grabbing the bell and rolling into the ring himself. Captain Howdy had just gotten to his feet when Joe Mama hit him upside the head with the timekeeper’s bell. As Captain Howdy stumbled back into a corner, Joe Mama grabbed the fire extinguisher, aimed it at Captain Howdy, and blasted him with its contents.
Monroe: Why doesn’t Joe Mama just finish him with an East Coast Hammer?
Marcum: That’s Captain Howdy! The greatest Hardcore Wrestler EVER!!! The Champion isn’t taking any chances!!!
Joe Mama moved in and started delivering blow after blow to Captain Howdy’s head, opening him up further. He pulled him out of the corner, flung him into the ropes, and drove his back into a “Stop” sign with an Enforcer. Joe Mama tried to execute an East Coast Hammer, but the pain in his ribs wouldn’t allow for it. So he adjusted his hold and drove Captain Howdy’s head into the sign with a Tombstone Piledriver. Then he covered Captain Howdy for the victory. As “Faded” started again, Joe Mama took his title belt from the ref, slowly got to his feet and made his way out of the ring and up the ramp to the back.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
RDLL Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Elimination
Juan "Jefe" Diablo w/ "Dirty" Pete Sanchez defends against PenWing and Senor Muerte
The popular RDLL fan favorite, Senor Muerte was first out to ringside, handing out his sugar skull candies to the kids at ringside. He was soon followed out by the RDCW Champ, PenWing. As the two fan faves shook hands in the ring, the RDLL Champ made his entrance.
Juan "Jefe" Diablo, accompanied by his manager, "Dirty" Pete Sanchez. Diablo hit the ring and went into a staredown with his former partner, Muerte. As the skeleton costumed luchadore whipped his opponent into the ropes and PenWing followed with an enziguiri, taking down the RDLL Champ.
Diablo rolled out to ringside, to confer with his manager. Muerte followed with a plancha, taking both heels down. As the three got to their feet, they were knocked down again as PenWing sprang off of the ropes with a bodypress on them!
Monroe: BUHGAWB!!!!
MarcuM: Is that all you know how to say?
PenWing rolled Diablo back into the ring and went to work on him with a fast paced moveset of clotheslines, dropkicks, and bulldogs! PenWing placed Diablo on the turnbuckles and climbed up for a superplex, but Muerte dropkicked him in the back, knocking him to the mat and climbed up to drop Diablo off!
But Diablo knocked his former partner to the ground and hit a flying elbow! As Diablo set up Muerte for his Vaya Con Diablo (crucifix powerbomb) finisher, PenWing recovered and hit him with Sudden Death!
Monroe: SUDDEN DEATH! SUDDEN DEATH! PENWING! SUDDEN DEATH!!!!
MarcuM: When did you turn into Fat Retard?!
PenWing got the pin and the Champion was the first man eliminated!
Monroe: Diablo's not happy! Now it's PenWing and Senor Muerte for the RDLL Title!
MarcuM: PenWing's already absorbed the XPW belt into the Big Cheese title! Now he might take the RDLL title as well!
Monroe: Isn't it great?
MarcuM: Great? That Chucklehead as the Unified Champion? What are you smoking?
PenWing and Muerte continued the fast paced, high flying action that typifies the RDLL as they traded maneuver after maneuver, thrilling the fans and giving them their best.
The end came when Muerte missed a top rope missile dropkick, landing on his back. As he writhed on the mat in pain, PenWing quickly applied the sharpshooter!
Muerte struggled in the middle of the ring, but PenWing had the move applied and locked in. After a few moments, Muerte finally submitted to give PenWing the win and the championship!
The show closed as PenWing stood atop the turnbuckles holding the championships high in the air!
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