RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The G-man’s Lament

The G-man’s Lament

(featuring The G-man on vocals)



Lead Kamphausenette (speaking):


Ladies & gentlemen.
Tonight it is a very special privilege
to have with us in the house
a number one soul brother.
A stand up Bush-Leaguer.

While all you white-bread Republicans out there
were wondering if you could ever
find a Presidential candidate
stupider than Bill Clinton,
he was burning the midnight oil
going through the lists of draft dodgers
and the records of Yale and Harvard
to find a man
with an IQ to match his position
as 43rd President of the United States of America.

And on that historic day
of January 20th 2001
he stood in the oval office
alongside President George Bush Jnr
and smoked one of Bill Clinton’s cigars.

But tonight he’s here with us
so Ladies and Gentlemen
Won’t you show your appreciation
and give up for:

The G-man!!!



The G-man (singing):

Well I’m hiding in the bushes
And I’m dancing to a tune
Played by armies
I can’t see

Well people say
There’s no one there
But Lord I know


The Kamphausenettes:

Lord, I know


The G-man (singing):

The knives are out
And my enemies
are all around me

The liberals want to pry my guns
From my cold dead hands
I’ve got 1 billion Muslims
all pounding at my door
Say, oh lord, oh lord, oh lord
when will you give me some relief
From these people with their olive skins
and strange beliefs.


Rob Kamphausen’s ansaphone

Hello,

You’ve reached the home of Rob Kamphausen.
I’m out at the moment,
saving New York from liver failure,
one beer at a time,
so leave a message
and I’ll call you when I get back.


The G-man (speaking):

Hello Rob.

It’s me.

The G-man.

Your number one soul brother,
making a late night booty call.

I’ve drawn up a list of posters
who I think we should incarcerate
in a separate board,
on the suspicion that they might
spam the Deep Thoughts forum.

Also I think that it will help me
when I interrogate Rex
if I can flush a copy ‘Atlas Shrugged’
down the toilet,

because Rob you know…


The G-man (singing):

The people here just want
to tear you down
I try to bring them into line
all they do is moan and bitch

And there may be some
who will accept
the odd dropped stitch

I pull the thread
Cut the ties
Watch the whole thing
Come unravelled
right before me eyes


The G-man (speaking):

Sing it back to me sisters


The G-man (singing):

U.S.A


The Kamphausenettes:

U.S.A.


The G-man (singing):

U.S.A


The Kamphausenettes:

U.S.A.


The G-man (singing):

Land of the free


The Kamphausenettes:

Land of the free


The G-man (singing):

Home of the brave


The Kamphausenettes:

Home of the brave



Fade out. Also some gunfire is heard.

woo-sa...

GO FUCK YOURSELF ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!

Do you have a sample? Can I buy it for 99 cents on iTunes?

I find myself strangely...flattered.

SUPERMAN

Real name: Kal-El (Kryptonian name)/Clark Joseph Kent (Earth name)
Occupation: Reporter for the Daily Planet
Base of Operations: Metropolis
Marital Status: Married (to Lois Lane)
Height: 6' 3"
Weight: 225
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Black
First Appearance: (historical) ACTION COMICS #1 (June, 1938); (current) THE MAN OF STEEL #1 (June, 1986)

Among Superman's extraordinary powers and abilities, the greatest may be his compassion for the world that has adopted him. An orphan of the doomed planet Krypton, Kal-El was rocketed to Earth, and discovered in Smallville, Kansas, by farmers Jonathan and Martha Kent. Naming him Clark and raising him as their own, the Kents instilled within the maturing boy a sense of moral responsibility, while Earth's yellow sun imbued his cells with unparalleled strength and energy. By adulthood, the combination would transform Clark into the greatest hero who has ever lived-the Man of Steel, Superman.

Though he lives in Metropolis and is often considered the city's protector, Superman is truly champion of Earth. There are those, however, conspiring to expose him as a menace whose alien origins will destroy the world he has saved countless times.

For all his might, Clark's one constant source of strength is his wife, Lois Lane, with whom he also works as a reporter for the Daily Planet. But if U.S. President Lex Luthor has any say in the matter, Superman's never-ending battle will be fortressed in solitude in the days ahead.