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It's much more fun reviewing crappy comics than good ones. Plus they're much easier to find. In Supergirl #1, Jeph Loeb accomplishes something very impressive: he manages to get the reader confused on a first issue.
When the new Supergirl first appeared in Superman/The Bat-Man, it seemed like DC was leaving the name's convulted backstory behind and giving the character a clean start. It's a character with a simple origin (relatively, especially when compared to past Supergirls) and no relation to the previous incarnations. But Jeph Loeb does the opposite of leaving the confusion behind: he deliberately brings it back and, while he's at it, creates some more.
The story begins with Supergirl in the place of the average Supergirl reader: she's confused about her previous incarnations, so she wants to meet them. So, she starts with the one who has the most in common with her: Power Girl... who shares her exact same origin. Power Girl is Superman's cousin from Krypton... yet she's not related to Supergirl in any way. Maybe they're from different sides of the family?
Wasn't the post Crisis Power Girl the grand-daughter or Arion of Atlantis, or something? Since when is she a Kryptonian? Did she live in Krypton for a while like this new Supergirl or was she launched as a baby? Does Superman even know the chick with the big boobs from JSA is his cousin? Does he feel dirty for looking at her boobs all these years? Would he not have looked at her boobs if he knew they were cousins? How could he possibly not look at those boobs? None of this is addressed in the issue, and, though the omission of a recap of Power Girl's origin is one of the things that makes the issue confusing, I think including it would have actually made things worse, so Loeb probably chose the less confusing option. Or he was just lazy and didn't bother looking it up.
So, Supergirl and Stargirl (or whatever) are watching the JSA get their asses kicked by none other than Solomon Grundy (they're old fucks, after all), then Power Girl shows up to save them, then Supergirl shows up to save Power Girl. Supergirl approaches Power Girl to bond and stuff, since they have so much in common, but then the unexpected happens: Power Girl's powers go out of control and they start fighting!
The bulk of the issue is the two spandex blondes fighting and bouncing their boobs. Speaking of boobs, in order to give the characters more individuality, Mike Turner made sure there was an evident difference between their boobs. It's not just the size (Supergirl's are small now, and we all know Power Girl's...), it's also that Supergirl's are very pointy, while Power Girl's are perfectly round. Now that's characterization.
The obligatory uninentional fight is stopped by the always convenient "scientific" explanation, courtesy of the otherwise useless (in this issue) Mr. Terrific. It's actually all very simple: since Supergirl and Power Girl have the same origin, when they get together it's like they're the same person trying to occupy the same space, so, obviously, that means they start shooting heat vision rays at each other, like two magnets of the same charge who shoot heat vision at each other. Those crazy magnets, always shooting heat vision. Which Power Girl isn't supposed to have. Which Supergirl didn't lose control of. But don't let details like those bother you, there's more confusing stuff going on.
Power Girl decides she doesn't wanna be around Supergirl, not just because they lose control if they get near (wonder if they'd end up making out?), but also because this caped teenage with small pointy boobs (and, apparently, no bra, did I mention that?) has her same origin and makes her feel redundant in the DCU. Or just confused, I forget which. In other words: let's avoid the subject until I get my origin retconned, because right now I'm between origins and it's all mess.
Thankfully, the fact that Power Girl's origin is getting retconned right now means this issue will be out of continuity in no time. Which could be confusing, given that it's #1 of an ongoing series. Unless, they decide to reveal that the Power Girl in this issue was actually a thanagarian spy...
The very end of the story is another masterful touch of confusion by the master of convulted storytelling (you know, the key player in DC's crossover event who signed an exclusive with Marvel but will continue to write Supergirl for DC... hey, maybe making this issue suck was in his Marvel contract!)... where was I? Yeah, the ending: crazy looking power suit wearing Luthor from Superman/The Bat-Man (not to be confused with cool looking business suit wearing Luthor, from Villains United and other books) is spying on Supergirl and saying "Hmm, she's looking for a friend... time to introduce myself!" Introduce yourself where, you perv? This is specially disturbing if you consider that he was banging protoplasm Supergirl for a couple years, back when he was his own long haired australian son.
Oh, yeah, there's spoilers in this review... but I think we'll all agree that if you wanted to read this comic I actually did you a favor...
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Regenerated 15000+ posts
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Best. Review. Ever.  
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Quote:
Im Not Mister Mxypltk said:
boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs etc.
Are you certain you didn't miss the part about Kara being in her teens? Or do you purchase comics for something other than reading them?
This is the craziest thing I've seen since Gravedigger Lad switched my model airplane glue with his eyedrops! How dare you not leave cleavage contests to Wednesday and sneaky bunny! Off with your head!
Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps! Cross-eyed mosquitoes, and bow-legged ants! I come before you to stand behind you. To tell you a story I know nothing about.
One bright morning, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, drew their swords, and shot each other. If you do not belive this lie, it's true! Ask the blind lady on the corner! She saw it, too!
It's a Joker world, baby, you just live in it!
Kaz said: Emperor Joker, you rule.
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I found this review to be very confusing.
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/blogban3.jpg) [/center] [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/jlamiska.jpg) [/center]
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Now, didn't Supergirl #0 come out before this? Maybe the answers are in there. Though I will admit maybe a little editor's note referring to issues of JSA to at least clue in the reader somewhat about Power Girl's current status would've probably helped....
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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"Durh, or at least her cup size and if they're real or not, durh!"
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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mike turner didn't draw it, ian churchill drew those weird calves..........
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mike turner draws weird bodies.........
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I'm just sayin' 10000+ posts
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It's a dog eat dog world & I'm wearing milkbone underwear.
I can get you a toe.
1,999,999+ points.
Damn you and your lemonade!!
Booooooooooooooobs.
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weird but awesome bodies, ian churchhill draws weird *and* ugly bodies. i flipped through this book out of curiosity. wish i hadnt.
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Quote:
Luthor is spying on Supergirl and saying "Hmm, she's looking for a friend... time to introduce myself!" Introduce yourself where, you perv? This is specially disturbing if you consider that he was banging protoplasm Supergirl for a couple years, back when he was his own long haired australian son.
...now that's characterisation...
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Quote:
Im Not Mister Mxypltk said:
boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs etc.
Quote:
Emperor Joker said:
Are you certain you didn't miss the part about Kara being in her teens? Or do you purchase comics for something other than reading them?
This is the craziest thing I've seen since Gravedigger Lad switched my model airplane glue with his eyedrops! How dare you not leave cleavage contests to Wednesday and sneaky bunny! Off with your head!
I'm sorry if it offended you, I'll replace it for something you'll like more:
Quote:
Im Not Mister Mxypltk said:
cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock etc.
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1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
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Quote:
Im Not Mister Mxypltk said:
Thankfully, the fact that Power Girl's origin is getting retconned right now means this issue will be out of continuity in no time.
Bow ties are coool.
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No harm done, my good man. If I was offended I'd have changed your PC settings so that you couldn't post here anymore. Thanks anyway!
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I dunno understand...I dunno understand...
-----once over and twice twisted---------
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Quote:
Emperor Joker said:
No harm done, my good man. If I was offended I'd have changed your PC settings so that you couldn't post here anymore. Thanks anyway!
Gee, Mr Moraline, that sounds kind of illegal...
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or like a typical geek bluff!
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Don't say that or he'll change your PC settings so your font size goes up to 12.
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I don't understand why people don't take comics more seriously. Cleverly addressing fine points of continuity, as well as lots of images of tightly packed breasts, make this an profound yet entertaining genre.
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i agree, but that's why the elseworld's rips are disturbing?
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....too delphic for me, Piggo.
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Quote:
Im Not Mister Mxypltk said:
The bulk of the issue is the two spandex blondes fighting and bouncing their boobs. Speaking of boobs, in order to give the characters more individuality, Mike Turner made sure there was an evident difference between their boobs. It's not just the size (Supergirl's are small now, and we all know Power Girl's...), it's also that Supergirl's are very pointy, while Power Girl's are perfectly round. Now that's characterization.
This is the only thing I noticed and the only thing I remember from this comic.
I'd say it was a successful debut...
Oderint, dum metuant.
You are a god damned idiot, you know that? You ought to be smacked upside your dumb-fuck head, even after all these years. Shame on you! -USCHI showin' some love
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Funny art by Turner: Is it just me or has she had plastic surgery around the mouth, and does she need to go on a thickshake diet?
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dave im reporting you to the moderator.
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why, you...hey, wait a minute....
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Quote:
First Amongst Daves said:
...and does she need to go on a thickshake diet?
NO!
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1. You do not talk about snarf. 7500+ posts
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Quote:
Im Not Mister Mxypltk said:
It's much more fun reviewing crappy comics than good ones. Plus they're much easier to find. In Supergirl #1, Jeph Loeb accomplishes something very impressive: he manages to get the reader confused on a first issue.
When the new Supergirl first appeared in Superman/The Bat-Man, it seemed like DC was leaving the name's convulted backstory behind and giving the character a clean start. It's a character with a simple origin (relatively, especially when compared to past Supergirls) and no relation to the previous incarnations. But Jeph Loeb does the opposite of leaving the confusion behind: he deliberately brings it back and, while he's at it, creates some more.
The story begins with Supergirl in the place of the average Supergirl reader: she's confused about her previous incarnations, so she wants to meet them. So, she starts with the one who has the most in common with her: Power Girl... who shares her exact same origin. Power Girl is Superman's cousin from Krypton... yet she's not related to Supergirl in any way. Maybe they're from different sides of the family?
Wasn't the post Crisis Power Girl the grand-daughter or Arion of Atlantis, or something? Since when is she a Kryptonian? Did she live in Krypton for a while like this new Supergirl or was she launched as a baby? Does Superman even know the chick with the big boobs from JSA is his cousin? Does he feel dirty for looking at her boobs all these years? Would he not have looked at her boobs if he knew they were cousins? How could he possibly not look at those boobs? None of this is addressed in the issue, and, though the omission of a recap of Power Girl's origin is one of the things that makes the issue confusing, I think including it would have actually made things worse, so Loeb probably chose the less confusing option. Or he was just lazy and didn't bother looking it up.
So, Supergirl and Stargirl (or whatever) are watching the JSA get their asses kicked by none other than Solomon Grundy (they're old fucks, after all), then Power Girl shows up to save them, then Supergirl shows up to save Power Girl. Supergirl approaches Power Girl to bond and stuff, since they have so much in common, but then the unexpected happens: Power Girl's powers go out of control and they start fighting!
The bulk of the issue is the two spandex blondes fighting and bouncing their boobs. Speaking of boobs, in order to give the characters more individuality, Mike Turner made sure there was an evident difference between their boobs. It's not just the size (Supergirl's are small now, and we all know Power Girl's...), it's also that Supergirl's are very pointy, while Power Girl's are perfectly round. Now that's characterization.
The obligatory uninentional fight is stopped by the always convenient "scientific" explanation, courtesy of the otherwise useless (in this issue) Mr. Terrific. It's actually all very simple: since Supergirl and Power Girl have the same origin, when they get together it's like they're the same person trying to occupy the same space, so, obviously, that means they start shooting heat vision rays at each other, like two magnets of the same charge who shoot heat vision at each other. Those crazy magnets, always shooting heat vision. Which Power Girl isn't supposed to have. Which Supergirl didn't lose control of. But don't let details like those bother you, there's more confusing stuff going on.
Power Girl decides she doesn't wanna be around Supergirl, not just because they lose control if they get near (wonder if they'd end up making out?), but also because this caped teenage with small pointy boobs (and, apparently, no bra, did I mention that?) has her same origin and makes her feel redundant in the DCU. Or just confused, I forget which. In other words: let's avoid the subject until I get my origin retconned, because right now I'm between origins and it's all mess.
Thankfully, the fact that Power Girl's origin is getting retconned right now means this issue will be out of continuity in no time. Which could be confusing, given that it's #1 of an ongoing series. Unless, they decide to reveal that the Power Girl in this issue was actually a thanagarian spy...
The very end of the story is another masterful touch of confusion by the master of convulted storytelling (you know, the key player in DC's crossover event who signed an exclusive with Marvel but will continue to write Supergirl for DC... hey, maybe making this issue suck was in his Marvel contract!)... where was I? Yeah, the ending: crazy looking power suit wearing Luthor from Superman/The Bat-Man (not to be confused with cool looking business suit wearing Luthor, from Villains United and other books) is spying on Supergirl and saying "Hmm, she's looking for a friend... time to introduce myself!" Introduce yourself where, you perv? This is specially disturbing if you consider that he was banging protoplasm Supergirl for a couple years, back when he was his own long haired australian son.
Oh, yeah, there's spoilers in this review... but I think we'll all agree that if you wanted to read this comic I actually did you a favor...
Mxy really loves us! Protecting us from this sort of Crud!
I was at the Wizard Panel where Jed Loeb announced his exclusivititititititis with Marvel. To say we were non-plussed would be a understatement. Although it was much more of a reaction than to when we learned of Turners exclusivititititititis !
Great review.
Thank you Mxy.
Love you.
Me No Rikey Rob, he's a banana queer!
I shit on Hogan!
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Bow ties are coool.
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Thing is- I can’t spell or type. I spell so badly my spell check doesn’t even know what I was trying to spell. And I have five Eisners HAHAHAHHA!!
-Brian Michael Bendis
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Quote:
britneyspearsatemyshorts said:
Bitch!
Lay off my sweet ROY!
Quote:
Danny said:
I wanna read Supergirl!
In Bizarro World (a.k.a. Australia) that means he hates Superboy.
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The art was great but MAN that was a shitty issue.
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This is sad, cause I really like Supergirl's new look.
Bob Burden said:
Pie for the pirates,
wine for the dogs.
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mxy i'll punch you in the stomach!
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Quote:
Im Not Mister Mxypltk said:
Quote:
Danny said:
I wanna read Supergirl!
In Bizarro World (a.k.a. Australia) that means he hates Superboy.
I have therefore proven I am straight!
Thing is- I can’t spell or type. I spell so badly my spell check doesn’t even know what I was trying to spell. And I have five Eisners HAHAHAHHA!!
-Brian Michael Bendis
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Its a love-hate relationship.
I'll lay decent odds that the series will be cancelled in under 3 years and the character will be relegated to a team book like Outsiders.
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Good review, thanks for taking the plunge for us all mxy.
Comics are supposde to combine storytelling with art, and if this issue is all art and not much of a story I won't be needing it.
Her eyes are too light of a blue and her costume is too showy (not that thats a bad thing by itself). If I did not know better I'd swear she was Velorian.
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You mean she's a car in which Doc Brown and Marty travel through time???
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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