RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Women Erotic Writing, RKMB Style

No, no.... fuck YOU, Klinton.

That's where all the good parties are.

oh well then your chances of him fucking you there increase by..... 1/1000

Go yell at elisa - she promised us in the chat last ight that she'd write something for us. but now that she's gone to church she has to be pure.

this pains me so much.

It pains us all.

its worse than that time in nam when i lost my legs

hi oakley

I win!

Yeah. Fucking while watching TV is just too CRAZY to believe!

uuuuh...sorry i could boff someone while watching 24

Drunk Dave is in a bar rubbing some babe's ass, and she likes it.....then he goes down the back of her pants somehow and ends up in her crack..whoops she smiles and gives him the "hey" eye.....he stops a few few minutes later he goes back to rubbing her ass and does the same fucking thing and the same mishap happens...he then says "I'm fucking drunk and I need to go sit at the bar, sorry".

End of night.

I bought a new pair of socks from Wal-Mart.

I fucked them and then washed them.

They're on my feet now and I've got half a slim jim in my pants just thinking about that.

The End

Pretty long but hey.....

After feeling someone's arm around her waist, April
turned in shock to find Eric standing behind her.
Letting his arms reach around her she laid back in his
arms as he whispered about how much he had missed her.
"One whole week without him, How did I last?!?" she
wondered quietly to herself as his lips caressed her
neck and his hands traveled down her back. Her body
quietly quivering beneath the feel of his hands,
she closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment. Lifted
onto the bed she gasped when she felt how excited he
was before he had even begun to kiss her.

Pulling off his shirt to reveal his muscular body, he
whispered, "I've missed your eyes" as he softly kissed
her eyes, "I've missed your lips." She smiled as she
saw his handsome thick lips press lighly on top of
hers. Reaching for her face as he straddled her, he
kissed her again as his tongue slid into her mouth and
started to explore it. Tasting his mouth sparked a
fire within her body and April's legs wrapped around
Eric as she kissed him deeply. Feeling her body melt
in anticipation of what was to come, he began his
decent of kisses down from her mouth.

"If you only knew how much I missed your body" Eric
moaned as he kissed her skin. Slowly he began
unbuttoning her blouse while his other hand caressed
the outside of her frame. Arching her back against his
touch she closed her eyes as she felt the flicker of
his toungue launch against her breasts. Feeling both
of his hands on her breasts almost drove her over the
edge.

When she could take it no longer she rolled over and
straddled him. Taking the rest of her clothes off, she
whispered, “I missed a lot of things about you too
like your arms and especially your body.” Smiling
seductively, she let her hands cascade down his torso. S
he followed them with the slow flickering movement of
her tongue. Stopping just short of his pants she
remarked, “and I really, REALLY missed this part of
your body.” Noticing his body writhe in anticpiation,
she slowly took off the belt of his pants, undid the
zipper, and then in one swift movement the pants came
off.

Lowering her mouth to kiss his naked flesh she noticed how hot and throbbing he alrady was. Slowly french kissing the inside of his thighs, she could feel his body brace against the feel of her mouth against his skin, the stiffining of his cock against her face and esepcially his reaction to her hands running up and down his pubic area. After making him agonize in expecation for a few minutes, she took all of him into her mouth she began to suck slowly in and out letting her tongue flicker over the body of his penis. As he began to moan, she could tell he was going to explode at any moment so she increased her speed. As his back arched, and his head tilted back she ran her fingers seductively across the inside of his thighs and stomach. Bracing herself as she heard him moaning her name louder and louder, she took one final,long suck as he let himself go into her mouth. Before she had time to swallow and let her hands travel back to the shaft of the penis, he turned her over, arched her legs and ripped her underwear and skirt off.

"That was amazing....but I can tell you've missed me: you are SO wet." Plunging his fingers into her vagina, she closed her eyes and let him feel his way around her. He whispered to her as she gasped and moaned for him to enter her, "I'm going to make you miss my mouth as bad as my body." As he expertly began his trip from her belly button with his tongue down to her clit, she opened her legs wider and wider. Placing her hands on the bedposts to hold on when the orgasm came she braced herself as she felt him hit that one spot of pleasure that could not be matched. He slowly ate his way around it until he finally began to suck slowly right on top of it. It didn't take much for her to come feeling his mouth on her clit, his nose brushing against her thighs, his fingers traveling in and out of her vagina. Her body was at his every command, her nerves felt like tidal waves crashing faster and faster against the shore. Not being able to hold it in any longer, she screamed, arched herself back and orgasmed against his mouth.

Smiling ever so seductively as he sucked the fluid off her throbbing clit, he made his way back up to her mouth. Barely giving her time to recover he whispered in her ear (as she felt his lean, musuclar figure and hands race against her breasts), "I've missed the feeling of me being inside you..." And with that he lowered himself on top of her, and entered her. This iginited a feeling of pleasure surging through her body she never felt before. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she thrust with him up and down up and down. She felt his chest rub against her breasts which excited her even more. Feeling him inside of her, she began to moan louder and louder. Eric, knowing that he would come at any moment, placed his fingers right on her clit. Sending her over the edge he rode her, faster, and faster, and faster until finally their bodies clashed with pleasure at the same time.

Lowering his face to hers, he kissed her deeply, and whispered, "But I've missed you the most...". .

I give that tale three and a half boners...

I'd give it "Penissa has an Identity Crisis."

The cold wind whipped around Harley Quinn's bedraggled, spandex clad body and she cringed, her teeth chattering
uncontrollably. Snow fell heavily around her as she walked, her gait having an obvious limp, down the sidewalk, the
frozen crystals stinging as they landed on the open wound across her left cheek.

"Oh hells bells...” she groaned, leaning against a brick wall, taking weight off of her twisted ankle, "Of all the nights for
a heist to go wrong." She sniffled wiping at her steaming eyes, smudging her already tear streaked make up. "Mistah J
was so mad," she shuddered, "and it wasn’t all that bad..."

It wasn't that bad though. It was only the Gotham Toy Company Vault. Located in the biggest toy store in the city. On
Christmas Eve when it would be pack full of cash from all the holiday purchases, not to mention several charities. Harley
groaned again. She hadn’t meant to mess things up of course. She hadn't meant to knock over the laser tag display. And she
certainly hadn’t expected the toys to make that kind of racket when they clattered across the floor, emitting all kinds of
electronic beeps and sirens.

But of course that had tripped the store's sound activated alarm. Which had summoned the police, as well as Batman.
Harley scowled; didn’t that overgrown flying rat-man ever take a night off? It was Christmas for gosh sakes! But things
had gone to hell from there. Bennie and Pete, two of the Joker's best henchmen had been gunned down on the spot, the
Joker himself nearly took a bullet; luckily it merely grazed his shoulder.

She could still here his enraged screaming ringing in her ears, "HARLEY YOU LEFT-FOOTED BOBBLE-HEADED
MORON!!!"

They had fled from the store dodging bullets, and the different gadget assaults from the Bat, Harley was struggling to
keep up with her pallid skinned boss, but to no avail as when he reached the purple Cadillac parked in the nearby ally he
simply revved the engine and tore off into the night, leaving his stunned girl-friday behind and virtually stranded.

It was all a blur from there on, some how she had managed to escape the police, the Bat of course had gone in pursuit of
the clown prince, obviously considering Harley far less of a threat, leaving the GCPD to tend to her. Chumps, they
couldn't hit a brick wall if their guns were glued to it. And now she was here, wandering the cold, snow drifted
sidewalks of downtown Gotham on Christmas eve. She drew a labored breath, the chattering in her teeth becoming
painful now, she was going to freeze if she didn't find shelter soon.

Harley was already starting to feel numb, outside as well as in. She looked around desperately and noticed the brick wall
she leaned against belonged to a run down apartment building. She ducked into the alley beside it and found a door that
lead into the lower level of the building. She easily picked the lock and hurried on in finding herself standing in what
looked like a storage room. It was dimly lit and hardly much warmer.

Harley shivered again, sighing hopelessly but she blinked as a thought came to her and she smiled slightly. "It's Christmas
Eve..."she said slowly to herself, "someone oughtta be away for the holidays!" She giggled softly leaping to her feet in
this new light of hope, wincing only slightly as she was reminded of her injuries, she hurried to find stairs that would
lead her to the upper levels. Luckily for her the building was just as rundown on the inside as it was out and had virtually
no security except for the locks on the doors, which Harley picked just as easily as she had the first.

And she found what she was looking for. On the third floor she found a door with a note taped under the peep-hole that
read:

Gone for the Holidays. Please slip and mail that will fit under door.
-R

"Well Mistah R, thank you, who ever yah might be, for you're hospitality," Harley grinned to herself as she slipped into
the apartment, relocking the door behind her. It was a dull, sparsely furnished place. The room she walked into was both
kitchen and living room and what looked to be the bedroom behind the door at the back of the room. Harley sighed,
dropping her duffle bag full of artillery and gags on the floor. The room was still slightly chilly but a lot better then
before and she quickly found the thermometer, jacking the heat up to eighty.

"Sorry bout the heating bill Mistah R," she muttered as she made her way through the second door, finding her guess was
correct; beyond it lay the small, equally dull bedroom, with a tiny adjoined bathroom. Seeing the shower stall Harley
sighed longingly and rushed into the bathroom and got the hot water running as she stripped out of her wet, stained and
torn harlequin costume. She pulled her headdress and mask off as well. her sweaty blonde hair was plastered to her head
and slightly cow-licked.

She cringed at her reflection. "Belch! Talk about scary!"

Quickly she jumped into the shower; steam had already begun to billow out from the stall, fogging up the mirror. She
sighed as the hot water streamed over her frozen body, finally taking the edge off of the deep chill. Harley bowed her
head, letting the water pour over her, watching as it ran down the drain, tinted grey as her make-up was washed down
along with it.

Slowly as the numbness in her body began to ebb away, the numbness in her mind did as well and she moaned, leaning
against the wall of the shower stall, sliding down despairingly till she was sitting beneath the downpour of heat water,
drawing her knees up as she pressed her forehead against them and began sobbing. "I messed up s-so baad this t-time,"
she hiccupped, the tears running down her face were quickly swept away by the water, "Mistah J's n-nevah gonna take me
back this time. An' I d-don't blame him neither!" she whimpered.

She sat like that for quite awhile until the hot water began to run out and her back ached from being pressed against
the hard wall for so long. She picked herself up and turned the water off, quickly drying herself off with a nearby
towel, she wrapped her self in it and ventured back into the bedroom in search of clothing. She found a large dress shirt
that would do for her to sleep in, as well as a role of ace bandage to wrap her ankle in. She leaned in close to the mirror
that stood over the dresser to closely inspect the cut that ran across her cheek. Now that the blood had been cleaned
off it didn’t look so bad. At least she didn’t think it would need stitches.

"Last thing I want is an excuse for people to start calling me Miss Scarface,"she said absently poking at the cut and
cringing as it still stung a little. She turned away from the mirror then to take a better look at the room. It was cramped,
the full sized bed taking up most of the space, the dresser sat across from it, an old model TV the only thing that
accompanied it besides the mirror. And next to the bed, beside the drawn, colorless curtains sat a simple desk with a
typewriter sitting on it. A few crumpled pieces of paper lay next to it and the wall above it had several newspaper
clippings tacked to it.

'Looks like Mistah R's a writer," Harley mused as she took a closer look at the clippings and squealed slightly recognizing
her own face in one of the faded black and white photographs. Underneath it were the head lines that read "Joker
Escapes Batman Again, Aided By New Harlequin Accomplish."

Harley giggle, clapping her hands, that had been several months ago, not long after she had sprung the Joker from
Arkham Asylum, thus giving up her life as Dr. Harleen Quinzel. That heist had been so much fun...and so much more
successful. Harley sighed sadly, shaking her head. But a smile tugged at her lips as she picked up a red pen that lay next
to the type writer and leaning over the desk, she wrote "Hey Mistah R! Thanks for letting me use your place!" then signed
her name under the photograph along with several X's and O's.

"That oughtta be good for a laugh or three," she grinned, before yawning widely as she felt exhaustion beginning to set
into her body. Flopping over onto the bed and burrowing her way under the covers, she yawned again and stretched
leisurely. Harley was warm and comfortable now, but the silence was starting to set in uncomfortable. She spotted a
remote control on the bed stand beside her and snatched it up, turning the TV on. The reception was fuzzy, and the
picture would occasionally switch from color to black and white and back, but it was better then nothing.

Harley flipped through several channels before stopping when she was delighted to find that the old cartoon version of
Dr. Seuss’s The Grinch Who Stole Christmas was on. She grinned and settled back to watch it.

"And then he got an idea," the narrator was saying, "An awful idea! The Grinch got a wonderful AWFUL idea!" Harley
squealed in delight at the Grinch's grin, lips curled into a twisted evil smile. "Awwww... he looks just like Puddin'..." she
sighed, turning on her side and snuggling up against the pillow, wishing her Puddin' really was there to hold her, and
comfort her, and tell her she wasn’t a complete screw up. That would be the one and only thing she wanted for Christmas.

The movie played on and Harley slowly drifted off, humming softly as sleep took her.

"Fah who for-aze...
Dah who dor-aze...
Welcome Christmas,
Christmas Day..."


*****

Harley groaned and rolled around in her sleep. She was dreaming that Diane Lewis, the Gotham Local news anchorwoman
was chasing her, wielding a frying-pan full of sizzling bacon while shouting the weekly weather forecast. "Tomorrow will
be cloudy with a chance of snow, high's reaching 28 degrees with a windshield of 15!!" she hollered as she flicked her
spatula, sending half cooked bacon flying at Harley.

"AACK!" Harley yelped sitting straight up in the bed. it took her a minute to gather herself, and remember why she was
waking up in a strange bedroom. The TV was still on, at a soft volume and sure enough there was Diane just finished up
with the weather forecast.

Harley laughed at herself, funny how dreams can be affected by things like that. She stopped laughing suddenly
noticing another element from her dream was also present. the unmistakable smell of bacon wafted through the air.
'What the hell...?" she whispered in confusion. where could that smell possibly be coming from..."Oh shit!" she hissed,
throwing back the covers of the bed. Had Mistah R. come back suddenly? What would he do if he found her here? She
looked around in panic, the window crossing her view as she saw the new blanket of snow covering the nearby rooftops
and the last thing she wanted was to go for another scantily clad run through the icy streets of Gotham.

"Hmmm" she thought through her situation, looking down at herself, clothed only in the large dress shirt, with only a few
buttons buttoned to conceal her small but curvedly formed body. "Maybe I can flaunt my way outta this one?" She nodded
to herself, thinking that would be the best idea, "I just hope he's not fat...or old...or ugly,” she groaned softly, creeping
up to the door and opening it slightly, peeking out.

There was defiantly the smell of bacon, assaulting her senses, making her mouth water as her stomach rudely reminded
her she hadn’t eaten since breakfast the day before. She shook her head, reminding herself she had to keep her wits
about her and not be led around by her stomach. She tried to peer into the kitchen, but her view of the stove was
blocked by the refrigerator. But she could defiantly hear someone moving around in there as well as a voice singing what
sounded like jingle bells. As Harley crept closer, the words became clearer.

"Jingle bells, Batman smells, Bird-Boy laid and egg, Bat-Mobile lost a wheel, and yours truly got awaaay!"

Harley gasped not quite able to believe here ears, but sure enough from around the corner came her beloved clown
prince, the Joker himself, wearing a white apron with the words "Kiss the Kook!" stitched across it, and carrying a big
plate of pancakes in one hand and a plate of bacon in the other.

"Morning there Harley-Babe! Bout time you got up, I was worried you'd spend Christmas day drooling all over some
stranger’s pillows," he said cheerfully, his usual carefree, overly-wide smile in place upon his crimson lips, all the malice
from the night before seeming to have disappeared completely. He had hardly set the plates down on the card table
before Harley had leapt gleefully into his arms.

"Oh Puddin'!! I can't believe you found me!" she squealed wrapping her arms around her neck adoringly," I mean I had
no idea where I was and after all the bad stuff that happened..." she trailed off suddenly, once again recalling the
events of last night. She pulled away from him then, crossing her arms. "You left me!" she stated staring at him accusingly.

The Joker who had at first looked relieved at being released from her strangle-hold of a hug, raised and eye brow and
averted his eyes as he coughed and fidgeted with his tie, "Yes well, I wasn’t exactly in the best of moods, I’m sure you
would agree, and of course I figured that Bat-moron would go after me so you were probably better off..."he stopped
seeing her darkening pout, signaling she wasn’t buying his story.

"Well I'm sorry Harl! But I'm here now aren't I? And look! I even brought you presents! I'm a regular jolly saint Nick!"
he gave her a cheesy grin, pointing over to the living room where Harley was surprised to find had been rearranged to
accommodate a short but very fat Christmas tree, adorned with overly large ornaments and a fancy looking star that was bigger then Harley's head. Sure enough piled beneath it
was a generous pile of packages wrapped in purple and green paper and ribbons.

"Ooooh Mistah J!" She gasped, all disdain she had previously held for him melting away as she looked over the presents
hopping from one foot to another in excitement, "Are they all for me!?"

"Mmmhmmm," the joker nodded grinning, "all of them of course, except for the ones that are for me which I wrapped to
make the pile look bigger. But you can open those too."

Laughing giddily Harley plopped herself down in front of the tree. She paused in her glee for a moment look back at him
over her shoulder, "How did you know where to find me Mistah J?" she asked looking at him curiously.

The clown shrugged his shoulders, sticking his pale hands into the pockets of his apron, "Bruno was in the car when I
took off, I kick him out and told him to go after you, and to tell me where you ended up." he shrugged again, "I had
figured I would be picking you up from the police station, and of course when I say 'picking you up' I do mean busting
you out. I was actually quite pleased to find that wasn’t the case."

Harley felt her heart swell in her chest, 'He really does care about me!' she thought dreamily. She sighed softly then,
looking up at him. "I'm really sorry about last night, Mistah J," she said sulkily, "I really messed up back there. I mean,
Bennie and Pete, and all that money..."

"Oh don't worry about it, "Joker waved a hand nonchalantly, which struck Harley as quite odd that he was so easily
letting the incident go, "I was about ready to off those two anyway, they were planning to leave the gang after they got
their cut and 'go straight' "Joker made quotation signs with his fingers.”And besides, "he grin took on a darker, more
sadistic tone, "I got something much better then money..."

"Whazzat?" Harley asked, her interest certainly peeked at the prospect of something better then money.

"Oh nothing..."the Joker grinned even wider, "just the site of old Batsy's batty-mobile careening over the bridge into the
icy east river is all." he finished, his smile spreading so wide his lips almost touched his ears.

"Oh Mistah J!!! You think he's..." Harley tailed off.

"Here's hopping!" the Joker laughed, pulling a cigar from his pocket and biting the tip off of it before lighting it and
taking a long breath, blowing the cloud of smoke over his head.

Harley sighed adoringly, reveling in the happiness of her clown prince, until a loud snarling sound startled her out of her
daze. The package nearest to her, a big purple one with holes punched into the lid quivered menacingly, emitting more
low growls and yips.

The Joker raised and eyebrow and grinned, "better get that one first before it eats its way out," he waved his cigar as
she pulled the acid green bow that fastened to lid down loose and removed the lid.

"Oh no..." the Joker remarked half-heartedly as he reached into the box and pulled out a stuffed likeness of everyone's
favorite Bat in black. Only the one of the legs had been completely ripped off and the head was dangling by a few
threads, "sorry Harl, guess it's ruined." he grinned shrugging as Harley squealed with delight as two of the most
adorable balls of fur (as adorable as hyena pups get that is) poked their heads out from the box, both adorned with big
red ribbons around their neck, and one had the bat-dolls missing arm sticking out from between its tiny pointed teeth.

"Oh Mistah J!" Harley gasped scooping the pups into her arms and cuddling them close, “They are just the most
precious, most adorable-"

"Now Harley, you better take proper care of those beasties," Joker said in a fatherly tone, "I don’t want them running
wild around the lair, gnawing on chairs, tables, henchmen's legs...that is of course I specify otherwise, "he added.

"Oh Puddin' I promise I’ll take the bestest care of them evah! I'll walk them every day, and play with 'em and train 'em
to be good little attack hyenas, and feed them yummy little bat-bits whenever they become available!" she giggling as she
nuzzled noses with one of the pups who rewarded her with a lick and a toothy grin.

The morning passed and afternoon found Harley lounging on the living room couch. She had changed out of the dress
shirt into a pair of commercial Batman PJ's that Joker had taken a can of red spray paint to, the bat emblem across the
tank top and the rear of the bottoms having been marked with a big O and a slash going through it. She swung around,
hanging upside down as she assembled her new MP 136 semi-automatic, humming along with the Christmas jingles emitting
from the radio.

The card table was scattered with the remains of breakfast, most of the food having been eaten except a few pieces of
bacon that had been fed to the hyena pups who had finished them off in record time and were now working on the plate
itself. The Joker had spent the last few hours lounged back in one of the plastic chairs, his legs crossed and his feet
resting on the surface of the table as he made calls to several people in the guise of well-wishing which usually ended in
reminders of debts that were due as well as a few death threats. A box of Bolivar Cuban Cigars sat in his lap, a last
minute present Harley managed to find in the drawer of the nightstand.

"Hello Vinny? It's your old pal, Joker! How's the family? Were you able to buy the kiddies all kinds of shiny new noise
making devices with that five grand I lent you? Oh good, goood....so about the 5 grand...yes I know you know it was due
back two weeks ago....yes I know its Christmas. And you know what that means to me, Vinny? That means the water will
be twice as cold when we take you for a swim with the fishes...this Tuesday you say? Oh very good Vinny, just as long as
that includes the extra five-thousand dollar late fee. Merry Christmas!" he finished gleefully, hanging up before the
voice on the other end had a chance to protest.

He giggled tossing the cordless phone back onto the card table and jumping to his feet, "Oh I do love the "bringing good
tidings' part of this holiday, don’t you, Harlekins?" He flopped down onto the sofa beside her.

"Oh yes Mistah J!" she exclaimed pulling herself back up onto the couch and crawling into his lap like an adoring kitten,
"sounds like things are going just peachy for yah!"

"Oh yes, "the Joker cackled maliciously, "this is our busiest time of the year in the loan department. All those poor
shmucks, desperate to make ends meet for the holidays. And it’s always most fun when they can’t make the paybacks."

"Cuz then we can kill them and take aaall of their stuff, right Mistah J!" Harley chirped, nuzzling her nose against his
neck, purring into his ear suggestively as she wound a hand through his toxic green locks of hair.

"Mmmhmm", he replied smirking moving his hands up over her thighs as she moved to straddle his waist. Harley grinned and
she was about to lean into a kiss when the chiming notes of Carol of the Bells on the radio was cut off, as a male voice
spoke up.

"This just in, our studio has just recived information stating that little less then an hour ago the wreckage of the
infamous bat mobile was pulled out of the east river, caught in the nets of a fishing boat. Police were notified, but
Commissioner Gordon was quoted saying that there was no need to raise alarm concerning the well-being and
whereabouts of Batman, for the mysteriously masked vigilante checked in with the Commissioner earlier this morning...."

Harley winced, feeling the Jokers fingers digging painfully into her thighs. She tried to pull away from him, but he held
tight, he jaw clenched tight, a twitch developing in his right eyebrow. "Umm...Mistah J? ...Puddin?"

The radio DJ continued with his report, "The wreck was said to have occurred late last night when Batman rushed in
pursuit of one of Gotham's most fear felons, The Joker, who had attempted a robber at the Gotham City Toy Company.
Luckily Batman was able to thwart The Jokers attempts and over 250 thousand dollars in Charity money intended for
Gotham's Orphanages and children's hospitals was saved!" The DJ chuckled happily adding, 'I guess those kids will know
this as the year Batman saved Christmas! Now back to your regularly scheduled program..."

Harley yelped as the Joker stood up quite suddenly, sending her rolling heels-over-head off of his lap as she landed
with a thump on the thread-bear carpet. "Ooooowww," she yowled rubbing her bruised bottom. "Puddin' that hurt!" she
began to whine but was abruptly cut off as a torrent of curses began to emit from the Jokers lips.

"That infernal, interfering, rubber clad, sad excuse for a superhero BATMAN! He's not a bat he's a cockroach!" the
Joker spat, stamping his foot, and Harley had to duck out of the way to avoid being trampled. "Cockroach man! That's
what they should call him! What I reeeeally need is a GIANT can of pesticide!" he declared, wringing his hands
agitatedly.

"Calm down Puddin'!" Harley pleaded, picking herself up, "you're scarin' the babies!"
The hyena pups who had been dozing under the Christmas tree raised their heads, looking up at their enraged master,
giving him reproachful looks for waking them before they both yawned and went back to dozing.

The Joker ignored her, muttering angrily to himself and she crept up to him cautiously. "Puddin'?" she called softly,
putting a hand on his shoulder, "are you ok?"

He didn't answer. She stepped a little bit closer, "Anythin' I can do ta make yah feel bettah?"

She jumped back as he suddenly whirled on her, glaring at her dangerously for a moment before he paused and seemed
to consider her offer. "Yes..."he nodded, "yes there is."

He reached up and grabbed her chin, his fingers squeezing her lips into a forced pucker, bringing them against his own
crimson stained lips in a hard kiss. She made a surprised, muffled noise against his lips, and he pulled back before she
had the chance to respond to his kiss. And before she had time to collect herself, he wrapped an arm around her thighs
and took her up over his shoulder. He grinned widely as she gasped in surprise.

"I think I'll work on my Harley for a bit, "he leered like a jackal, as he walked towards the bedroom door, giving her a
swift slap on her bottom, emitting a startled "eep!" from her, "you know, work out a little pent up aggression by revving
up the engine?" He kicked the door open and carted her in.

Harley squealed giddily, "Vrooom vroom, Mistah J!" He flung her onto the bed and she giggled as she landed on the stiff
mattress, bouncing slightly.

"Careful, Puddin'!" she exclaimed, grinning, "this ain't our place, someone might come and investigate if we're too
noisy."

The Joker was loosening his tie and he let out a low chuckle, "My dear sweet Harley, is that genuine concern, or just a
ploy by you to get me to go easy on you?"

Harley blushed, having been caught, she opened her mouth to deny it but the Joker had taken that moment of hesitation as
an open opportunity to begin his assault on her, grabbing her shoulders and pinning her back against the mattress as his
mouth ravaged her ear and neck, kissing and biting along her pale skin. Mean while he slipped one of his calloused hands
up underneath her tank top and grabbed a handful of her decently sized cleavage, groping her thoroughly and drawing a
sharp gasp from her as he seized one of her nipples, pinching it and rolling it between his fingers.

"Ooh! Mistah J!" she moan softly, her back arching up underneath his rough touches, and she pushed her self up slightly,
running a hand over his pallid cheekbone, drawing his mouth down onto hers in a slow, soft kiss, sighing as she did so. His
eyes narrowed mischievously but he allowed her the gentle kiss for a moment, enjoying the feel of her soft little tongue
dancing playfully over his thin red lips. He used his own tongue to lure hers farther into his mouth.

She yelped suddenly as his teeth sank into her tongue and she tried to pull back, but his hand rushed to the back of her
head, entangling his fingers in her pale blond locks, holding her pressed against him, his lips crushing against her, his
tongue now snaking into her mouth, tasting the slight tang of copper-blood that now flavored her. Her hands gripped the
fabric of his shirt as his moved his mouth over hers, his hand under her shirt giving her nipple one last squeeze, before
sliding down over her tiny stomach and slipped past the elastic waist band of her pants.

She jumped, her eyes going wide as she moaned softly into his mouth as she felt his long, talented fingers, slip over her
most sensitive spots, touching her in a way that spread warmth through out her entire body. The Joker broke the kiss
and grinned broadly, feeling her warm wetness, confirming that she did in fact enjoy his rough treatment of her, despite
her subtle protests. Of course it wouldn’t have really mattered if she didn't enjoy it either.

He ran his fingers over her a few more times; enjoying the soft noises he drew from her pleasure, before he slipped two
long fingers deep inside her. Harley cried out, her breath quickening as her hips bucked up against his hand, her arms
wrapping tightly around his neck and she grabbed a hand full of emerald hair, panting against his neck. Smirking he gave
her a few quick thrusts, before drawing his hand back out of her pants. She whined in protest.

"Awwww, that ain't nice Puddin'!" she whimper, pouting up at him, her sky blue eyes bright and filled with lust.

The Joker chuckled again as he flipped her over onto her stomach, place a hand between her shoulder blades and
pressing her face against the mattress, muffling her protests, "Harley my sweet, you never were the patient type, "he
tsked, as he grasped the waist band of her pants and pulled them down, swiftly removing the garment, before turning his
hands on himself, unbuckling his belt, soon his shirt and pants joining hers on the floor of the bedroom.

Harley sighed longingly as she felt the warmth of his body pressed against her, felt his hardness hovering over her as his
hands took a firm grip on her hips drawing her back painstakingly slow until she felt the tip of him slip inside her, she
drew a breath readying herself to take him deep inside her, but he stopped moving. His hands held her hips in a vice like
grip, preventing her from moving farther back against him.

"Umm...Puddin'?" she attempted to look over her shoulder at him. He seemed to be deep in thought. "Puddin' what are
you-"

"How is it, "he cut her off, "that you came to knock over that display and cause all that racket in the first place, huh
Harl?

"I- what??" she couldn't hid the utter confusion in her voice, "I mean- errr," she struggled to gather her thoughts and
ignore the aching need that was threatening to envelope her and drive her mad...err, "I-I suppose I was just curious you
know?"

"Uh huh...curious, "the Joker repeated, shifting slightly, so she could feel him move inside her, but the movement didn’t bring
him in any farther, just simply reminded her he was still just barely out of reach, "and what have I always said about
curiosity? Hmmm?"

Harley groaned, gritting her teeth in frustration, "Curiosity kills the bat..." she whimpered.

"Mmmmhmmm, so let's try to keep that urge to touch and tamper with just about everything under control, eh Harl?" he
traced a finger lightly over her tail bone.

"Ookay," she answered breathily.

"Okay?"

"Okay Mistah J, boss-man, sir!" she added in a rush.

He grinned; feeling satisfied he's gotten his point across, "Good girl,” he said softly, pulling her hips back against his,
burying himself deep inside her.

Harley let out a long moan, finally feeling whole as she felt him drive himself inside her. She panted, her cheek pressed
against the mattress as he began moving, thrusting in and out of her in a slow, deep rhythm. She groped blindingly for
something to grab a hold of, her hands finally seeking out the wooden bars of the headboard. Gripping them tightly, she
wished she could hold on to him instead. But this current position made that pretty much impossible, which she supposed
was his motive behind it. It gave him the most control. The Joker always preferred to be the one in control. With his gang,
with the Bat, and with her.

Maybe one of these days she'd manage to turn the tables on him. But for now she would enjoy herself. His rhythm began
to pick up, harder and faster and she heard his slightly labored breath, felt it against her back as he leaned over her. His
teeth nipped at the back of her neck and she panted feeling herself growing warmer and warmer around the place where
their bodies connected, knowing it wouldn’t be long now, wondering which of them would manage to outlast the other.
She managed a grin, hearing him groan, thinking perhaps for once she would be the one to come out on top, so to speak.

The thought had barely formed as she felt his hand snake around her slim waist, his fingers expertly seeking out the one
place left that was needed to complete her. She shuddered, gasping as she felt him stroke her and within seconds she
was sent soaring over the edge, heat bursting with in her and enveloping her whole body as she cried out long and loud
against the mattress.

He came right after her, his fingers digging almost painfully into her hips, and she knew their would be bruises there by
tomorrow. She sighed, just a few more seconds and she would have beaten him. It was always a silent competition
between them, seeing who could last the longest. It certainly made things more interesting, and there was always next
time. She smiled softly; she would always be ok with it as long as there was a next time.

The Joker pulled away from her and she sighed in relief, flopping over onto her side, her legs had begun to ache dully.
Smirking slightly, obviously pleased with himself, the Joker flopped over on his stomach next to her, one of his arms
draping over her waist.

She giggled and curled up against him, sighing adoringly at him, "I love it when we cuddle, Puddin." she sighed happily.

The Joker groaned, "This is not cuddling," came his muffled voice from where his face lay buried in the pillow, "this is
me being too tired to move my arm and make you go and make me a sandwich."

She simply sighed again, grinning from ear to ear. "Merry Christmas Mistah J, "she yawned.

He turned his head slightly, staring at her with one eye.

"....Merry Christmas Harley."

*****

Master Bruce was sitting in his lounge, staring decrepitly as the TV when Alfred walked in, carrying his evening tray of
tea. As he set the tray down on the coffee table in front of Bruce he noticed his employers glower. And glanced at the TV
which was set on the local news channel.

"Something in the news troubling you Mister Wayne?" He asked, as he poured Bruce a cup and handed it to him. Bruce
scowled, taking the cup gently.

"It just figures, "he grumbled, that every time I put a stop to one of that Joker's schemes, he goes and does a simple,
subtle retaliation that just makes it all seem pointless."

"That's quite a dour outlook; don't you think so Mister Wayne? I mean you stopped him from robbing that store and got
back all the money those poor children need. What could he have done to dampen your mood after that?"

Bruce scowled again and waved a hand at the TV. "Ahh," Alfred nodded as he watched the clip they were now showing of
the Gotham City Christmas tree, located in the city square outside the mayor’s office building. To give the clearest
description, the tree had been beheaded, the top most part had been removed along with the traditional Gotham
Christmas star.

"Well, "Alfred said, keeping a straight face, although the corner of his mouth twitched up slightly, "at least he left more
then a crumb of food too small for a mouse."

THE END!

Rating: PG-13, language and violence

Disclaimer: Harley Quinn, The Joker, Batman and the City of Gotham created and owned by DC Comics and I am only borrowing them for a short while with all intentions of returning them in (almost) perfect condition. Honest! Also some references from the Mad Love comic (you'll know them when you see them) accredited to Paul Dini.

Copyright: Copyrighted December 2004 by Sarah Pettis.

[SPOILERS!!!}

heh. Pettis.

Pariah User Pedophilia=Gay Thu Sep 29 2005 05:13 PM Reading a post in flat mode
Erotic Writing, RKMB Style

Not bad "bassgirl_30"

HEH....

"PLUNGING"

HEH......

Erotic fiction.
Isnt that Snarfs sex life?

Hence the use of the word "fiction"

Rack the Uschi.....wow girl you have a future in EF ya know

Quote:

---

I give that tale three and a half boners...

---

Just three and a half......come on now :P

I still say Uschi's is the best though..........even if I didn't want to hear about Jokers and Harley Quinn's sexual relationship :P

Yes only three and a half.

She didn't use the phrase "slowly plunge".

I give it four out of five socks.

He'll give you the fifth one when he's good and done.

SCORE!!!! No competition from Usch

I appreciate the sugar coating, Uschi, but you forgot to mention that Nygma promised us we'd get a sliver of seclusion when we borrowed his room. Who in Rob's name does he think I am? Anne Frank? PJPervert and his twirling buttknocker groin stalkers are going to have a blood orgy with this one.

You're a dead man, Nygma! Forget decapitation, I'm sending you to Apokolips where Darkseid will make you give Granny Goodness a full body massage!

It was midnight before he finally returned to the watchtower.

Dark Knight made sure no one was watching before rubbing his tired eyes. This had been another one of those weeks. Too many crimes committed at once. All of the things happening in Gotham doubling with the JLA missions lead to a weary, and very cranky Batman.

He sighed, looked at the clock, and cursed. It was midnight. He should get some sleep, or at least meditate as his training had ht hht him. His unrelenting thirst for justice would never be quenched if he caught his death of exhaustion.

Batman stripped his cloak from his shoulders, baring the muscular, sculpted back veiled in a thin layer of spandex and lightweight armor. He threw it absently aside onto one of the computer chairs. The Dark Knight then made it a point to double check the locks on his Watchtower quarters before literally collapsing onto his bed.

Her raven black hair washed down her back like spun silk. He wove it between his fingers and brought it to his nose; relished the scent of her. His shielded eyes raked her undressed form, finally locking with her own. She approached him, perfect posture and stance, her eyes blazing with a familiar desire he had longed to quench for so long.

Batman closed his eyes and slid his hand beneath the fabric of his costume. As the fantasy began to play out in his mind, and he felt himself beginning to relax. He only did this for tension release, he told himself. Not for pleasure. But that voice in the back of his mind, nagging, unrelenting, told him that perhaps it was more.

Her slender fingers caressed his chest, gently sweeping down over his rippled stomach and then back up across his shoulders. Her touch contained both softness and strength combined that no other woman had shown. Selina couldn’t hold a candle to the woman he addresses now.

It couldn’t be more. He was the Bn. Hn. His hand slipped up and down his manhood, now beginning to swell and expand with his heightening arousal. He would get this over with.

His lips are on hers. Their breaths mingle with desire for the other. A jolt of pleasure runs through him as he feels her hand upon his hardened sex. He gasps and the small, mischievous smile plays upon her face. She strokes him slowly, evenly, her eyes locked with his.

His jaw tensed as the hold on himself tightened. He stroked harder, in time to the motions of the woman thriving in his daydream. His breath began to come in quick, soft pants, heart hammering in his chest.

Her hand released him, eyes never leaving his as they went to her own top. She pulled the bustier, exposing soft, round breasts topped with peaked nipples. His hunger grew furiously for the woman before him. Her body was perfect. Fluid.

His stroking continued. His pleasure elevated, thinking of her touching him, the soft jiggle of those breasts, deep blue eyes, the flesh of a woman that he desired so badly it was almost tangible--

Beep Beep

Cursing, Batman slipped his hands from inside his tights to snap open the communicator.

“WHAT?” he snapped.

He was shocked to see the woman from his daydreams on the communicator’s screen. He felt a pang of discomfort, and also a flood of shame, for only moments earlier thinking of his teammate as…more than a teammate. However, the grim façade of the Bat blocked out his startled thoughts and replaced his mind with his usual, calculating calm.

“Batman, I’m sorry for disturbing your rest, but—“

“I wasn’t resting.”

Which was true, he thought. I was thinking of you, naked.

“What do you NEED, princess?” he said curtly.

“There’s a strange light signature, near the Earth’s moon,” Diana explained. “J’onn found it on Monitor Duty. I tried to persuade the League not to bother you, but Kal insisted.”

Batman sighed.

“Are you sure you’re feeling all right?” Diana asked, concerned. “You look a little flushed.”

“I’m fine. Batman out,” he said quickly, then cut the connection.

Batman eased himself off his bed and stood as if under a heavy weight. His cape returned to his shoulders, and after a quick glance in a mirror, he left his quarters.

Not a moment’s peace. Not even on the moon.

Author:Batman