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*Link Wray's "Rumble" echoes to life in the CheeseDome as pyro begins to go off and the fans jump to their feet, screaming!
Monroe: Welcome to the Randy Rumble! The Road to RobbleMania starts here, tonight!
Bastardo: Thirty men will fight it out for the right to face the Champion at RobbleMania!
Monroe: Let's get to the ring!
Captain Sammitch (55%, 6 Votes)
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Doc. Mid-Nite (C) (45%, 5 Votes)
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Outcasts (Oakley / Superbeasto) (55%, 6 Votes)
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Tuesday Night Rockers (Fantastic / Big T / Savitz) (C) (45%, 5 Votes)
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Pig Iron (55%, 6 Votes)
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Charlie (C) (45%, 5 Votes)
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PenWing (55%, 6 Votes)
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Spandex Monkey Man (45%, 5 Votes)
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Harleykwin / Heidi Schwarz (55%, 6 Votes)
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Lor / Meeko (45%, 5 Votes)
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Nowhereman (55%, 6 Votes)
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Grimm (C) (45%, 5 Votes)
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I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Mar 2005
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"Breakin the Law" cues up as El Superbeasto steps into the CheeseDome. He is wearing his usual wrestling gear, but has a red tshirt with "Outcasts" written in black on the chest.
ES: El Fantastico! Last week, the Outcasts are destroying your friends, including your mentor Aguila Joven. Tonight, we destroy you and other pathetic Rockers and take your tag team titles! Then, we will be winning pathetic Randy Rumble and going to RobbleMania to win World Heavyweight title! VIVA LOS OUTCASTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Superbeasto signals for the chokeslam as the Outcasts new theme music cues up again.
Monroe: The Outcasts are on the lookout for some gold, Louie!
Bastardo: They're dangerous and aggressive, no doubt. I wouldn't want to go against that team.
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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*Superbeasto's theme music is quickly interrupted as "Ode to Joy" replaces it and Dr. William Paragon heads down to the ring in his wrestling gear and robe.
DP: Now, hold on just one moment, El Superbeasto. There is no way that the BBN would support a freakish monstrosity like yourself or a mental deficient like your partner as RDCW Champion. Which is why I, Dr. William Paragon, have entered and will win the Randy Rumble tonight!
Crowd is booing heavily, though it's hard to tell who they hate more.
D: Now while I'm happy that you and Chris have found some sort of. . .solace. . .together. . .I do not consider either of you proper championshiuurrrkk!!!
Paragon is interrupted as an irate Superbeasto picks him up and delivers the Chokeslam to Oblivion! The crowd erupts at seeing Paragon handled this way!
Superbeasto: You are foolish little man! We are eliminating you before Rumble starts!
Let me tell you something, just because something is in a graphic format doesn't mean it needs to be apologized for. And just because a novel is serious, doesn't mean it's serious fiction. The only thing comics should worry about is telling a good story. You do that and people will find it.
-Brad Meltzer
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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"Rooster" erupts from the PA speakers as Chris Oakley makes his way down to the ring to a mix of cheers and angry boos from the crowd.Before stepping in the ring,Chris pauses just long enough to dump beer on a Tuesday Night Rockers fan at ringside....
MONROE:This is outrageous!
LOUIE:Hell yeah--Chris shouldn't have had to look at that disgusting Tuesday Night Schlockers shirt on his way to the ring!
Chris picks up the mic and turns to the crowd with a mocking grin
CHRIS:Well,as you can see,Dr. Paragon has something in common with the Tuesday Night Schlockers--talks a good game,but when it comes time to deliver,he just flat-out chokes!(boos start to get louder)The fact of the matter is,I did you people and the RDCW promoters a favor by taking out the Schlockers...maybe with them out of the picture,we can get some GOOD tag teams around here for once!
The mood of the TNR fans in the crowd starts to get really ugly now;some of them start throwing stuff at the ring,which infuriates Superbeasto
SUPERBEASTO:Quiete,pendejos!
CHRIS:You took the words right out of my mouth,SB.(waits for fans to quiet down)Now,as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,our impending win over the Schlockers at the Randy Rumble is just the beginning of the Outcasts' reign as the dominant force in RDCW!Every title that's out there to be had,we're going to grab it and put it in our back pocket!And if you brain-dead hick TNR fans can't deal with it,that's YOUR problem!(boos resume and become absolutely deafening)Yeah,that's right,jerks,keep trashing me...it'll just make the taste of victory that much sweeter when the Outcasts become the new RDCW world tag team champions!
Chris and the Giant Luchadore high-five each other and make their way back to the locker room to hostile taunts and glares from TNR fans in the crowd as the camera fades out
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Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
We return from an ad for RobbleMania to see the RDCW World Heavyweight Champion Grimm standing in the ring. He is alone, but has a mic. The fans are booing loudly.
Monroe: Well as you can see, the Champ has decided to grace us with his presence.
Bastardo: Quiet! I wanna hear what he has to say.
Grimm: Well, after that simply stunning display of prowess by the Outcasts what more could you people want in a show? Perhaps what will inevitably be one of the most talked about World title matches of the twenty first century? No doubt. I'll get to my old "friend" Nowhereman in a minute.
But first, I want to address some rumors that have been flying around. These rumors concern a certain wrestler who used to compete right here in this very ring. In the RDCW.
In fact, at one time he wore this very belt right here that I stand before you with today. This fifteen pounds of leather and gold. But he doesn't work for RDCW anymore. In fact, he's been kind of a taboo subject around the locker rooms and the Phausen Entertainment offices in downtown Roboken. Some people say he quit. Some people say he was fired.
But the word is. . .he misses the bright lights and the glory. He misses the excitement of performing in front of a crowd! He misses the RDCW and it's fans! They say he wants to come back and he wants to be the World Champion one more time!
Monroe: He's not gonna. . .
Bastardo: Oh, I think he is. . .
Grimm: Two words: King. Snarf. Did I get your attention? Good. Snarf, I know you're probably sitting at home tonight and you're watching this show and you're thinking about how it should be you out here tonight. Fighting for the gold. Well, I've got a little message for you tonight. I want you to watch very closely what I do to Nowhereman in our match tonight. Because that's just a sample of what's gonna be waiting for you if you ever dare step foot in an RDCW ring again.
Because in only one month's time I have become the greatest RDCW World Champion that ever was. Since I won the championship, ratings have gone up on Tuesday Night Havoc week by week! The RDCW.com website got so many hits that the site went down and had to be moved to a bigger server! The pre-orders for my dvd have gone through the roof! I am the only wrestler in history to have action figures made in Worst Wrestling Ever, Evil Cunt Wrestling, World's Crappiest Wrestling, and Rob's Damn Championship Wrestling!
Monroe: Good grief! What an arrogant asshole!
Bastardo: It's not arrogance when it's true, Monroe!
The crowd is booing heavily as Grimm basks in their hatred. A wicked grin on his face.
Grimm: Which brings me to my match tonight. Tonight it all comes full circle. Two years ago, I returned to the ring at Rob's Randy Rumble. At Nowhereman's request I got back in the title hunt, only for him to turn on me and dump me out of the match. And now, here we are again. The Randy Rumble. Grimm vs. Nowhereman for the World Heavyweight Title.
The Hellions explode tonight in fire and blood. Glorious violence and anarchy will be unleashed here tonight. Nowhereman, the student has surpassed the teacher. You may be a legend, but I have become a god. And you will know the name of Grimm when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
For I am the way to a forsaken people. I am the road to the end. Abandon all hope. The Dark Days are upon you all.
As if on cue, the lights dim down for several moments. When they return, Grimm is gone.
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,240 |
Bukaka: “This is Bukaki Havoc nummah one annuncah. I am outside of the rdcw rockel loom to see whart is going on wih Pig Ilon since his most recent Dawk Roid shenanigans, and upcoming match.”
Bukakki enters room…
Bukace: “Hidie Shorts, you take me to Pig Ilon so I can interview.”
Schwarz: “Ummmm, well OK, he was acting funny earlier so don’t come crying to me if he destroys your camera.”
Bukkakke: “Fine, we all pleplayed for anything.”
Schwarz and bukake enter the back locker room area..
Schwarz: “Oh my god, get up Piggie. Come on you have 2 matches you can’t be sleeping at a time like this.” Schwarz sniffs and gets disturbed. “Oh dammnit you’ve been drinking again. GET UP!!! Piggie…Piggie…Piggie? Dammnit we need to find Grimm.”
Bukakai: “This is bukkakey, I am cullentry forrowing Shorts to find Glimm. Dis is ssooooo good.”
Schwarz finds Grimm talking with Harley down the hall.
Schwarz:” God, Grimm, Piggie is all drunk and passed out and I can’t get him up we have to do something.”
Grimm shakes his head and begins to walk down the hall and Harley follows.They all make their way to the area where PI is sleeping.
Grimm: “Damn! Pig, wake up! Dammnit.”
Grimm carries PI back to the shower area and puts him on the floor and turns on the cold water.
Bukakie: “Oh, dats cort. Glimm is highry pissed now.”
Grimm starts slapping PI until he shakes his head. Grimm lifts PI to his feet.
Grimm: “Get your act together man. You’re a damn disgrace to the Dark Lords. You have all the potential in the world and you squander it over self-pity. You’re weak. You’re gonna get your ass kicked tonight…TWICE, and then Darth is gonna melt your cherry ass on the fiery pits of hell next week. You are the weak link in the chain now ya moron. “
Grimm slaps PI across the face 3 times he then kicks him in the chest knocking him to the floor. Grimm kneels down and grabs PI’s T-shirt, and pulls.
Grimm: “This is your last chance. I’m all outta compassion, and I’m fresh out outta my mind with you and Darth. I have my own shit to worry about. The valets and I are the only people around here who can kick ass anymore. You used to be a whooyaaahh..not a pathetic whiner. Should I call you the Whino of self inflicted pain? You’re pathetic…you’re not worthy to lick my boot…are you worthy of being a Dark Lord? Hell, at this point Schwarz is the best thing you’ve done for the Dark Lords. I don’t wanna hear a word out of you from now on. You back up yourBS with some hardcore action..or the champ is gonna show you what being a Dark Lord is all about. Dammnit, I need to concentrate on my own battles not babysit..Dammnit! One more chance PI.”
Pig Iron moans and begins to come to somewhat, mumbling to himself.
PI: Druuuuuhhhhhuuuunkkk. . .
PI: Druuuuuhhhhhuunnnnk Piggie. . .
Grimm punches and nearly destroys a locker on his way out.
Schwarz: “ Piggie…you have to quit doing this to yourself, or I’m gone. You led me down this path don’t leave and betray me now…just when…well, don’t do it. Straighten up or I’m gone.”
Schwarz walks away.
Bukakaki: “ Pig Ilon, do you have anyting to say?”
PI wipes his forehead and clutches his hurting jaw.
Pig Iron: ”Yeah, get thahs camra outta my fashe or you’ll be my appetizer fer tonight’sh evensh.”
Bukake: “This is numah one annoncah signing off.”
Monroe: “What in the world was that? An obvious schism is forming. I’d say Dr. Paragon is doing his work well.”
Bastardo: “Good for the Doctor.”
Last edited by Pig Iron; 2006-02-06 3:21 AM.
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5000+ posts
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*Backstage, PenWing enters the SDC locker room and finds the rest of the SDC chatting with each other as they prepair for their matches. The room goes quiet as they see who has entered the room.
CW: Well, well, well. You finally decided to show your face after what you did.
CS: Easy, Chewy, let's hear what PenWing has to say. You do have something to say, don't you?
PW: I just wanted to wish everyone good luck tonight. I thought that-
CW: That we'd get your back in the Rumble? Man, you're on your own out there!
PW: I don't even want to be in the Rumble, but I am. (PenWing looks to Meeko for a second) So I'm going to give my all out there. But I've got bigger things going on tonight, as do you, Sammitch.
Meeko: Sammitch will do just fine, PenWing. But you...why did you accept Spamm's challenge?
PW: Why are you teaming with Lor against the Dark Divas? We've all got something to prove. I don't have to prove anything in the Rumble, and I probably won't be in any shape to compete in it, but I'll do my part to give someone in this room the best chance to win it. You have my word on that.
KC: Well, that's good enough for me.
CW: Not for me. I'll be watching you, PenWing.
PW: Do what you have to do, Chewy. Now, if you guys don't mind, I just need to grab a Sherwood and I'll be on my way.
*PenWing opens his locker and removes a Sherwood. He looks it over quickly and closes the locker. As he's about to leave the room, he stops and turns around.
PW: Sammitch, if you don't win the Intercuntinental Title tonight, I'm gonna kick your ass.
CW: (smiling) You'll have to get in line.
*PenWing walks out and the camera returns to ringside.
Monroe: It looks like PenWing and the SDC are getting back on the same page!
Louie: Maybe Spamm did make a mistake when he attacked PenWing with Mr. Sledge Hammer. Maybe he wound up beating some sense into the knucklehead instead of just beating him senseless!
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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Whilst we've been backstage, a band has set up their equipment on the entrance ramp
Bastardo: Who are these guys, and what are they doing here?
Monroe: Don't ask me Louie...hey, is that who I think it is? It is! Folks, Spinal Tap, officially the loudest band in the world, are in The Cheese-Dome tonight!
Louie: And there's only one superstar they could be playing in!
Sure enough, as The Tap launch into a storming rendition of 'The Majesty of Rock' SPAMM makes his entrance, headbanging along to the stong and air-drumming excitedly. He's dressed in an old m.W.o t-shirt, and his mask is purple. He's also died his hair purple, and his jeans and boots are purple/
Monroe: Looks like SPAMM's gone back to his roots in ECW!
Louie: I'd love to see Grimm's reaction to all this!
The crowd goes wild, and SPAMM leaps onto the barrier, still air-drumming to the tune. Eventually he gets down and climbs into the ring
SPAMM: Thanks you, thank you. As you can see, Da Monkey Guy has arrived in RDCW!
The crowd chants 'm.W.o!' as SPAMM produces a banana and stuffs it down his face, dropping the skin on the floor
SPAMM: Now, I've been saying that I have an announcement to make tonight. Well, make that two! Y'see, I took a look around myself in the Dark Lords, and realised one thing: Everyone's got a manager. Grimm's got Harleykwin, Darth's got Chesty, even Piggy's got Heidi Schwarz. So I thought, shouldn't I get one too? So I went to Grimm. And he burst out laughing.
Louie: I can see why!
SPAMM: Anyway, I started contacting some of the girls I knew from the days back in ECW (which, by the way, was a surprisingly large number). Anyhoo, Slutty, the old m.W.o manager, is apparently missing, presumed ugly. Plus, she'd worked for Rob Blackandblue, so I wasn't gonna touch her with...well, anything!
The crowd cheers, and chants FUCK YOU, BLACKANDBLUE!
SPAMM: As for the other Hardcore Ho's, Kummonme is apparently working in an, erm, *adult* bar in Philly, whilst Stoolah is, shock horror, MARRIED. To Tommy Sleeper. Though apparently she's taking regular visits to Philadelphia, so it's all good!
The crowd chants SHE FUCKS GIRLS! and SPAMM nods smugly
SPAMM: And it was then that I remembered an old friend. A man who stood by my side and fought with all the determination of a damp towel, which by the way hurts like hell when flicked at your testicles by King Snarf...
Monroe: 
Louie:
Crowd:
SPAMM:  Anyway, I'd like to introduce you to the one and only CHEVROLET NOVA!
Spinal Tap starts to play 'Real American' as Chevy Nova makes his way out. However, this is a slightly modified version:
I am a Real American
I'm fat and I drink beer from a can
I am a Real American
Fight for some Sprite
I'm thirsty as shite!
As the crowd sheers, Chevy Nova attempts to get into the ring, but falls over the top rope. SPAMM helps him to his feet and hands him a mic
Chevy: BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER! WATCHA GONNA DO WHEN CHEVY NOVA RUNS OVER YOU!
SPAMM: Eh, quite. Anyway, to my second announcement!
Monroe: I wonder what it could be!
SPAMM: Chevy, produce the belt!
Chevy: BROTHER, what belt, BROTHER?
SPAMM: Aw Crap. The Lightweight faggot belt, you gimp?
Chevy: BROTHER who're you calling a gimp?!
Chevy takes a swing at SPAMM, but falls asleep mid-swing
SPAMM: Why didn't I try harder? Hell, even that she-male Erectra would've been better than this guy! Anyway, since Chevy's forgot the belt, I'll have to cut this short. In effect, I am henceforth retiring the Lightweight Faggot belt, forever!
Louie: I thought it had already BEEN retired!
'The Majesty of Rock' plays again, and SPAMM heads to the back, dragging a still sleeping Chevy Nova with him
OOK OOK ACK EEK!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Running Man Match IC Title
Doc. Mid-Nite (C) vs. Captain Sammitch
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Handicap Match World Tag Team Titles
The Tuesday Night Rockers (James Fantastic/Big T/Tommy Savitz) (C) vs. The Outcasts (Chris Oakley/El Superbeasto)
Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law" explodes from the Cheesedome PA speakers as Chris Oakley and El Superbeasto,decked out in orange bodysuits styled to resemble prison uniforms,hit the ring to an avalanche of boos;moments later,"Walk This Way" pounds through the air and the Tuesday Night Rockers rush out from behind the curtains with tag team belts in hand.No sooner does TNR step into the ring than a full-fledged Pier 6 brawl erupts between Big T and Superbeasto.
LOUIE BASTARDO:Oh, it's really on now, brother!
MIKE "THE MOUTH" MONROE:No argument here!
Technical prowess goes right out the window as the Outcasts and TNR duke it out for more than twenty minutes; the momentum constantly switches back forth between the champs and the challengers before Big T piledrives Chris and tags in James Fantastic. Fantastic tries to climb the ropes to deliver the One and Only, but a punch from Superbeasto sends him crashing to the canvas. Chris then tags in the Giant Luchadore and signals that the Outcasts are ready to deliver their new signature move on the TNR captain...
LOUIE:Oakley said he had a surprise for the Schlockers,and it looks like we're about to see it!
MONROE:The outcasts hoist James Fantastic into the air---BOOM!The Odd Man Out!Oakley with the cover---1...2...3!We have new world tag team champions!
The ref calls for the bell to end the match and hands the Outcasts the RDCW world tag team belts. Chris and Superbeasto high-five each other; in a final post-match gesture of contempt for their vanquished foes,Superbeasto puts Fantastic through a table with the Chokeslam to Oblivion while Oakley drills Tommy Savitz with the Full Metal Jacket.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Hardcore Porn Title
Charlie (C) vs. Pig Iron
Bastardo: “Anything can happen here. A Drunken Pig Iron and a hardcore porn champion. I think there may be blood.”
Monroe: “Yeah, Pig Iron’s ...Haw.”
“Countdown to Armageddon” begins playing and Schwarz escorts a staggering Pig Iron to the ring. PI shakes his head trying to clear the cobwebs.
PI enters the ring groggily and holds the top rope as Schwarz starts yelling at him.
Monroe: “Ah, Schwarz..she looks good tonight unlike PI..I think the Doctor will have something to say about this.”
“Bad to the Bone” begins playing as Charlie enters the cheesedome. He swaggers to the ring—diamond encrusted.
Bastardo: “ A true champion if I ever saw one Mike.”
Monroe: “Indeed.”
Charlie doesn’t wait PI has his back turned and Charlie immediately goes for a spear, and gets it. The force almost sends PI through the ropes, but Charlie pulls him back in by the trousers, and tries to center PI, but PI falls to the canvas. Charlie attempts a choke style stranglehold submission..Schwarz moves PI’s leg to the bottom rope and garners the Ref’s attention. The ref calls for the break.
Bastardo: “Whatta sweet girl..now that’s a valet..”
Charlie pulls PI to his feet and raises him for an Enforcer and brings it home to devastating pain and force. Charlie rolls out and begins laying vicious blows with his diamond knucklebuster. Blood starts to flow from PI’s forehead. Again Charlie wastes no time and pulls PI up and delivers him into a type of pump handle slam, and then goes for the cover...Schwarz goes up to the ropes and the ref tries to get her to leave ringside. Charlie then starts arguing with the ref as blood still flows from the battered and drunken Pig Iron. Shwarz gets off the ring edge and Charlie goes back fro the cover 1..2..Pi raises his arm.
Monroe: “ That Schwarz sure is something she gave Pig Iron all the extra time she could.”
Bastardo: “ Yeah, but is she just delaying and dragging out this savage beating?”
Charlie again works on the busted forehead with devastating blows,and gets up. He then starts kicking PI and the ref tries to wave him off. The ref checks PI’s arm and once it falls limp, and on the second time he holds it mid air. Charlie smugly shakes his head and starts playing the crowd to a loud pop.
Bastardo: “Why doesn’t he just finish it?”
Charlie slides under the ring and looks for a chair.
Bastardo: “ No..nooo, even PI doesn’t deserve this. He’s already a beaten man.”
The ref goes to the ringside to try to get Charlie back in the ring and leave the chair.
Monroe: “ This is hardcore porn what in the world is the ref doing now? Anything goes.”
PI slowly tries to rise up the ropes. Then Schwarz goes to the ringside and pulls out a vial and puts it to PI’s nose, and PI shakes his head madly. Charlie, chair in hand, enters back into the ring as PI is crouched on one knee holding the rope with a hand.
Bastardo: “ This is it this is the set up for the Tower of London. A couple of chair shots and this thing is over.”
Charlie raises the chair and PI rises up in an upper cut fashion, nightstick in hand, and lays a crushing blow into Charlie’s unprotected face. PI then delivers several stick shots to Charlie’s abdomen. Now Charlie has been busted open…both men’s blood is painting the canvas in a salacious feast of blood. Charlie goes to his knees and drops the chair..Schwarz circles the ring and starts applying a liquid to the chair, and PI hits Charlie twice across the head with the nightstick and backpedals slightly. The ref motions for Schwarz to get away but not before she ignites the chair. PI grabs the chair and hits Charlie across the back three times as blood from both men and flames spray across the ring.
Monroe: “ Bughawb! It’s an orgy of violence.”
Charlie slumps to the canvas, and PI ventures to the top rope with the flaming chair.
Bastardo: “ Swine-A-Sault!”
PI lands a Swine-A-Sault, and the ref goes for the count 1…2…3.
Monroe: “Bughawd…how did a drunken PI pull this off..even with Schwarz…wait. He’s smiling, and mimicking being drunk. Oh, my God he wasn’t even drunk...he fooled everyone—even the other Dark Lords. Charlie surely wasn’t expecting this.”
Bastardo: “ That Schwarz is a fine actress.”
Monroe: “ Devious! Folks we have a new champion, and the rumble to go yet. Unbelieveable.”
I make stars, baby!
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
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Clockwork Banana House of Fun
Spandex Monkey Man vs. PenWing
Spandex Monkey Man and Chevy Nova made their way to the ring first as the crowd began a huge "MWO!" chant. Spamm surveyed the ring area and noted Mr. Sledge Hammer, Mr. Staple Gun, and what appeared to be the RDCW Lightweight Faggot Championship belt, all hanging from the cage at ringside among other implements of destruction. Spamm and Nova pointed at the belt and laughed.
Monroe: Is that? Buhgawb! It is! The Lightweight Faggot title!
Bastardo: Spamm's been the champion since September!
Monroe: He claims he's retired the belt forever! I wonder what the Doctor has to say about that?
"Detroit Rock City" cued up as PenWing stormed into the ring and hit a brutal pair of spinkicks on both Spamm and Nova. Pointing at something, PenWing rushed over and pulled down a Sherwood, as the crowd got to it's feet.
PenWing followed up with a pair of BC 2 Handers, cracking the hockey stick over the purple garbed Monkey man's head.
Monroe: Buhgawb!
The rest of the match was a back and forth brawl. . .
At the end of a brutal match that looked more like a blood bath than a fun house of any kind, PenWing managed to slam the back of Spamm's head onto a steel chair that was lying in the ring when he hit the Winged Wheel. After the count, Lothar helped PenWing to his feet and raised his hand in triumph. As "Detroit Rock City" played over the speakers, PenWing took a few short steps towards ropes and collapsed, falling face first to the mat. Lothar immediately signaled for the EMTs as it appeared both Spamm and PenWing would not be able to leave the ring under their own power.
I make stars, baby!
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300+ posts
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Hotties Tag Team Match
Lor and Meeko vs. Harleykwin and Heidi Schwarz
As expected, Lor and Meeko continued to be unable to coexist in this tag team bout as the Dark Ladies used that to their advantage. Working over the crowd favorites with repeated double team maneuvers and underhanded tactics. At one point during the match, Chesty LeRou who was seconding Kwin and Schwarz, even spat Hellfire directly into Meeko's face!
Kwin hit a Last Laugh on Meeko, which prompted Lor into the ring and the two jesters hit the floor brawling! As Chesty distracted Lothar by hanging over the top rope, Schwarz bashed Meeko with her nightstick and followed up with a Crowd Control (Widow's Peak) for the pin.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
RDCW World Heavyweight Title
Grimm (C) vs. Nowhereman
"Kickstart My Heart" played as Nowhereman hit the ring first. Grabbing James White by the throat, he hit a Slammin Gladys on him and grabbed the microphone.
"Get that fucking shite wanker cunt out here now so I can finish this properly!" He screamed to the delight of the fans.
"Return of the Living Dead" then played as the RDCW World Heavyweight Champion Grimm made his way down to ringside. . .alone.
Monroe: The Champ is coming down alone.
Bastardo: He probably doesn't need anymore distractions after the rest of tonight's events!
Grimm entered the ring and handed Lothar the belt as he and Nowhereman stood nose to nose. After a few moments, feelings exploded as the two started throwing fists, kicks, and chops! Grimm hit a low kick and tossed Nowhereman out to the floor. He pulled out a videocamera cord and wrapped it around Nowhereman's neck, strangling the challenger!
Monroe: He's trying to choke the very life out of him!
Bastardo: Now this is a fight!
Nowhereman escaped with a thumb to the eye and hit a Kik Tracee on the floor, sending Grimm into a ringpost! He tried for a running clothesline, but Grimm ducked and Nowhereman's arm hit the post!
Grimm pulled the ring stairs aside and moved Nowhereman into a single arm DDT onto the metal steps!
Monroe: OH MY GOB!!!!!!!!
Feeling cocky, he rolled Nowhereman back into the ring for a pin, but only got a two count. He berated Lothar, and tried to set Nowhereman up for a Kobe Special, but Nowhereman kicked Grimm off of the turnbuckles and followed up with a flying elbow! Nowhereman followed up with a pair of running clotheslines, the last one sending Grimm out to the floor, but his arm was still hurt from hitting the post earlier.
Monroe: He may have injured that arm, fans.
Grimm attempted to climb back into the ring, but Nowhereman caught him on the apron and DDT'ed him on it! He kicked Grimm with a baseball slide, sending him into the guardrails and followed up with a suicide dive, taking both men over and into the crowd!
As the fans chanted "RDCW! RDCW! RDCW! RDCW!" both men slowly got to their feet and began to brawl throughout the Cheesedome arena! They fought up into the balcony as Spandex Monkey Man and Chevy Nova appeared in the arena and began stacking up tables!
Monroe: The MWO! What are they up to!
Bastardo: Looks like they're setting up a buffet!
Grimm motions to the MWO as they join him on the balcony, but Nowhereman drops Grimm with a low blow! The MWO try to attack, but Nowhereman fights them off and chokeslams Chevy Nova off of the balcony and through the tables!
Monroe: OH MY GOB!!!!!!!!!!!
Fans: RDCW! RDCW! RDCW! RDCW!
Grimm heads back down to the ringside area as Nowhereman stalks him back! Grimm grabs a videocamera and clocks Nowhereman with it, busting him open! He follows up with a chairshot, and goes for the timekeeper's bell, but Nowhereman recovers with a spear and locks in the Iron Maiden! Grimm tries to power his way out, but the first attempt fails!
After a few moments, he tries again and this time grabs the bottom rope! Lothar calls for a break, and on the four count, Nowhereman releases the hold! Grimm pulls himself out of the ring and heads over to the tables and grabs the title belt! He tries to nail Nowhereman with it, but Nowie ducks under and kicks Grimm in the sternum!
Nowhereman grabs the belt. He looks at it. He looks at the crowd, who roar in approval. He spits on the belt, and polishes it up a bit, then nails Grimm directly in the face with the belt!
Bastardo: That's disrespectful!
Nowhereman signals for the Slammin Gladys, but pauses, shaking his head. He walks over to the announce table and clears it off. "I owe you this one!" He drags Grimm over to the table and chokeslams him through it!
Monroe: We've got carnage all over the arena, and the Randy Rumble still to come!
Nowhereman tosses Grimm back into the ring and follows with another chokeslam before getting the pin and being rewarded with the championship!
James White: Ladies and gentlemen, the winnahhhh. . .and NEW RDCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. . .NOWHEREMAN!!!!!!!
The fans got on their feet with a standing ovation as Nowhereman jumped into the crowd to celebrate his win!
Monroe: Thirty men, one match, the Randy Rumble. . .next!
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
The Randy Rumble
James White stood in the center of the ring as the audience anticipated the final event of the evening.
JW: “And now, it is time for the Randy Rumble!!!!!!! The participant who drew number one. . .”
White paused as he waited for the first entrant to appear. “Detroit Rock City” cued up as a very battered but still determined PenWing made his way to the ring with a Sherwood.
JW: “And the participant who drew number two. . .”
“Breakin the Law” cued up as Chris Oakley stormed down to ringside. Tossing his half of the RDCW World Tag Team Titles aside, he slid into the ring and immediately began brawling with PenWing!
Bastardo: Oakley’s a little fresher, he had more time to rest!
Monroe: PenWing still not fully recovered from that devastating Clockwork Banana
match with Spandex Monkey Man!
PenWing and Oakley brawled in the ring, Oakley gaining the upper hand until PenWing grabbed his Sherwood and clocked Oakley over the head with it! Oakley staggered back a bit and fell face first on the mat as the countdown began!
Monroe: What a difference a year makes! Last year, it was Oakley at number one, having lost that brutal Fenway Park match! PenWing last year, was number 29!
Bastardo: And he won!
The third man in the ring was RDLL’s hated rudo, El Guano! Clad in his trademark brown outfit El Guano climbed into the ring and tried to join the fray! But Oakley and PenWing teamed up and tossed the RDLL mainstay over the top and out to the floor before returning to their battle!
The next entrant was another SDC member, the mighty Chewy Walrus! The fans got to their feet as Chewy encountered El Guano on the rampway. Guano unleashed a verbal tirade on the Walrus, but Chewy merely shrugged his shoulders and hit a massive Walrus Tusk Spear on the luchadore before jumping into the ring!
Chewy and Oakley went at it, as the battered PenWing recovered in a corner and soon the clock was ticking again as one half of Los Cazadores, El Huracan, headed to the ring! Huracan immediately targeted Oakley in an attempt to seek revenge for the Outcasts earlier actions!
Monroe: Huracan didn’t like what the Outcasts did to Fantastic earlier tonight!
Bastardo: He should concentrate on winning the Rumble and not personal vendettas!
Chewy and Huracan took turns working over Oakley as PenWing recovered and the
countdown began again as “Ode to Joy” began to play and the fans immediately booed Dr. William Paragon.
Paragon removed his outer robe and stepped into the ring and immediately began
chopping away at Oakley!
Bastardo: This isn’t fair to Chris!
Monroe: The Outcasts haven’t made too many friends here tonight, Louie!
Paragon chopped away at the Walrus’ chest as Chewy took the blows in stride. Chewy hit the Doctor with a powerful Walrus Wallop clothesline, almost knocking him out of his boots! Huracan went for a flying bodypress, but Chewy caught him in mid air and casually dumped the luchadore over the top rope and to the floor!
Monroe: The fans are screaming for Chewy Walrus!
PenWing and Oakley brawled to the center of the ring and back over to the ropes where they were each trying to get the other eliminated. Chewy fought with Paragon again as he irish whipped the legend into the ropes, but Paragon reversed it and sent Chewy flying into PenWing and Oakley, knocking them both out of the ring and to the floor!
Monroe: BUHGAWB!!!!! Chewy just knocked his teammate out of the ring!
Angered, PenWing climbed back into the ring to confront Chewy. Chewy protested that it was an accident and offered his hand, which PenWing pondered for a moment. Before PenWing could accept, Paragon hit Chewy from behind with a chopblock, and the Walrus dropped down. Officials escorted PenWing out of the ring and to the back as the match continued.
“Countdown to Armageddon” played as the new Hardcore Porn Champion, Pig Iron
headed into the Rumble, escorted by Heidi Schwarz! Pig Iron hit the ring and seemed to think a moment as if deciding who he wanted to attack first. Confronted with his self proclaimed nemesis, Pig Iron tore into Dr. Paragon with a series of punches and chops!
The fans cheered as Paragon reeled from the Swine of Steel’s assault. Miguel Peterson was next into the ring and attempted to play his bagpipes, but Chewy Walrus wasn’t having it! A thunderous Walrus Wallop, followed by a Tusk and Chewy eliminated the RDLL competitor!
The elder half of Los Diablos, Senor Veneno, was next into the ring, and Chewy
eliminated him as well! Chewy hit a pose for the fans enjoyment while Pig Iron battered Paragon in the corner!
Then the lights went down as “The Imperial March” cued up and Darth and Chesty made their way to ringside.
Monroe: Bidness is about to pick up!
Bastardo: Pig Iron and Darth have been at odds for a couple of weeks now!
Darth hit the ring and he and Pig Iron immediately tore into each other! As the Dark Lords brawled, Paragon tried to slip away, but Chewy hit him with a Walrus Wallop that sent him over the top and to the floor!
Monroe: Another elimination for Chewy!
Bastardo: I gotta admit, he’s on fire tonight! He could go all the way!
Monroe: We’re ten men into the Randy Rumble! One third of the way through!
Bastardo: I gotta know who’s next!
“Massacre” by The Dwarves then cued up as the reckless, unpredictable, Amuck hit the ring wearing his trademark crimson mask and gear. The crazed competitor went right for Chewy, but again the Walrus caught him and dumped him over the top with a Walrus Press that demonstrated the sheer strength that made him a favorite of the fans!
Monroe: Not a big debut for this newcomer!
Bastardo: No. But I don’t think he’s done yet!
As Chewy attempted to get into the brawl between Darth and Pig Iron, Amuck jumped back into the ring and hit Chewy with a flying axehandle! Amuck threw a table in the ring and laid the Walrus on it and moonsaulted him through the table!
Monroe: What kind of sportsmanship is that?!
Bastardo: All’s fair in the Rumble, Mike!
Captain Howdy was next in the ring and laughed for a moment at Chewy’s prone body before laying into the brawling Dark Lords! Twatbuster on Pig Iron, followed by one on Darth as well! Howdy stood over the fallen men as the countdown went on again!
Howdy’s smirk turned into a gasp, though, as Chewy’s partner, Killconey hit the ring next and laid into the 4 member with some high flying offense!
Monroe: Finally, some help for Chewy!
Bastardo: Help? It’s every man for himself in there, Monroe! Stop being so damned biased!
Killconey and Howdy continued to brawl while the other competitors recovered and the clock ticked away again. Big T, one the Tuesday Night Rockers, was next in the ring and he was pissed!
Monroe: You just know he was hoping for a chance to get even with the Outcasts!
Bastardo: Vendettas don’t cut it in this match! You gotta focus on winning!
Big T hit a Tommybomb on Pig Iron, and was going for one on Darth when Chewy laid into him with a huge forearm to the back!
Bastardo: That was dumb! He shoulda let him do it, then attacked him! Why would you save somebody from being eliminated?
Monroe: Sportsmanship! Fair play! What the SDC represents!
Bastardo: Stupidity! They should think about more about winning!
Darth then seized Big T by the throat and chokeslammed him out of the ring!
Bastardo: Yeah, like that!
The fifteenth entrant into the Randy Rumble was the second half of Los Cazadores, El Aguila Joven, The Young Eagle! He high fived Big T on his way to the ring, but as soon as he entered, he was clotheslined back out by Pig Iron and Darth, who immediately went back to brawling with each other!
Monroe: Fifteen men have already entered! Ten have been eliminated!
Bastardo: Better make it eleven, Mike!
Darth casually tossed Killconey up and out while Pig Iron turned his attention to Captain Howdy! Darth now brawled with Chewy, while Pig Iron and Howdy went at it!
Monroe: All four of these men have been Hardcore Porn Champion, Louie!
Bastardo: It's a Hardcore Rumble!
cont.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
The clock counted down again as the former IC Champion, Doc. Mid-Nite hit the ring! Mid-Nite allied with his 4 teammate, Capt. Howdy, and joined in on a beatdown on Pig Iron!
Mid-Nite then turned his attention to Chewy, following a Darth Sabreslam up with a Rolling Thunder splash!
Monroe: Normally, that move sets up Doc’s Nite Cap!
Bastardo: He better not go to the top rope in this match!
Mid-Nite and Darth then began brawling and the clock counted down again! Senor
Muerte hit the ring and went straight for Mid-Nite! Mid-Nite backdropped the luchadore up and over the top but walked into a Sithspawn from Darth!
Chewy Walrus slammed into Darth, knocking the Sith Lord backwards into a turnbuckle, and followed up with several shoulders into the midsection!
Monroe: Chewy’s been out there a long time!
Bastardo: He’s gotta be getting tired by now. Especially after getting slammed through that table!
Monroe: He’s a competitor!
The clock struck again as the Million $ Pitbull, Charlie hit the ring, brandishing a table leg!
Monroe: Another former Hardcore Porn Champ! Looks like Charlie’s pissed about losing his title earlier!
Bastardo: He’s going a little old school tonight! He's gonna take hardcore to the Rumble!
Charlie nailed Chewy Walrus with the table leg, and took a shot at Darth for good measure for turning his attention to Pig Iron! He pummeled the Wooaayahhh of Paaaainnnn while Mid-Nite and Howdy turned their attention to Darth.
Highwayman hit the ring next and Charlie held Pig Iron for a Stand and Deliver superkick! Highwayman and Charlie tried to dump PI, but he managed to hold onto the ropes!
“Breakin the Law” played again as the Giant Luchadore, El Superbeasto hit the ring as #20!
Monroe: Buhgawb! What a draw for Superbeasto!
Bastardo: He’s rested and fresh! He’ll be damn near unstoppable this late in the match!
Superbeasto hit the ring and went right after Highwayman, tossing his former stablemate easily!
Monroe: He feels abandoned by his former allies, Louie!
Bastardo: That’s not my fault!
Monroe: There’s one more for you over here, Giant!
Bastardo: Shut up!
Charlie went after Superbeasto with the table leg, but the Giant Luchadore shrugged off the blow. He picked Charlie up high over head and dumped the two time Hardcore Porn Champ over the top with ease!
Monroe: Another former partner gone!
Bastardo: I told you!
Monroe: Don't forget Louie, he abandoned you too!
Bastardo: I did not!
James Fantastic hit the ring next and the TNR member immediately went for the Giant, but Superbeasto was on a roll and tossed Fantastic quickly! Superbeasto signalled for the Chokeslam to Oblivion!
Monroe: The Giant is on a roll!
Howdy, Darth, Mid-Nite, Chewy, and Pig Iron all attempted to gang up on the Giant Luchadore, but he managed to hold them off as the clock counted down again!
Howler of Howlerama was next and he went after the Giant as well, determined to avenge his friend’s elimination, but the Giant nailed with several Giant Headbutts, staggering him back! A Chokeslam to Oblivion and Howler was easy prey for the Giant!
#23 in the Randy Rumble was Big Fat Elvis! Elvis climbed up to the ring steps, but paused to finish his cheeseburger. Darth pulled him into the ring and began pummeling the enormous bodyguard!
Rob’s Killer Instinct Ripoff Music sounded again as MisterJLA entered the Rumble!
Monroe: All three active members of the 4 are now in the Rumble!
Bastardo: This is where the numbers are really come into play now!
Monroe: You know a lot about playing numbers, don’t you?
Bastardo: Purely speculation on your part, Monroe!
JLA entered the ring and along with Howdy and Mid-Nite ganged up on El Superbeasto! Howdy and Mid-Nite held the Giant’s arms while JLA delivered a devastating “Final Justice” to the Giant!
Monroe: Well, that certainly slowed him down!
Bastardo: That’s one way to kill a giant!
El Asesino was next in the match, and immediately went after Chewy Walrus!
Monroe: Asesino going after the man who’s been in the match the longest!
Bastardo: Smart thinking!
Asesino set Chewy up for a running corner splash, but the drained Walrus dropped down and Asesino hit the turnbuckles! Pained, the luchadore staggered back into a SabreSlam from Darth, and the Sith Lord tossed him up and over the top!
Following that, Darth and Pig Iron teamed up on Big Fat Elvis, attempting to hoist him out of the ring! JLA, Howdy, and Mid-Nite joined in, as did Chewy and Superbeasto! Finally, the group eliminated the massive bodyguard!
Monroe: Big Fat Elvis has left the Randy Rumble!
Tommy “The Surgeon” Savitz hit the ring next and went for Superbeasto, attempting to hit a Scalpelplex on the Giant, but the Luchadore blocked the move and broke free of Savitz’ hold! He grabbed Howdy and rammed Savitz and Howdy together with a noggin knocker!
The brawl continued as Spandex Monkey man entered the match, as did Chevy Nova!
Monroe: Apparently they’re entering the match together?
Bastardo: I don’t know! Who knows what these guys are thinking?!
Spamm and Nova pulled off their MWO tshirts and attempted to offer them to El
Superbeasto! The Giant paused for a moment before delivering a double chokeslam to them both!
Darth nailed the Giant with an Omen, before PI followed up with a Pork U in the center of the ring!
Monroe: I guess the Dark Lords can still work together sometimes!
Bastardo: But can they do it long enough for one of them to win this?
Johnny Evil made his way to the ring, accompanied by Arial.
Monroe: He’s #29, Louie! Only one person left to enter the match!
Bastardo: What a great draw for Johnny! Last year he was one of the final four men!
Monroe: He almost won!
JE stepped in the ring and watched as the Allied Powers hit the Allied Bombing on Savitz before tossing him out! JE applauded and motioned for the 4 members to continue, and continue they did! Another Allied Bombing and Evil was easy prey for the former tag champs!
Monroe: The Allied Powers working very well together now!
Bastardo: They’re a well oiled machine, Monroe!
Next, the Powers and Mid-Nite teamed up to eliminate Chewy Walrus, following another Allied Bombing with a Blackout Bomb from The Late One, and Chewy’s bid to win was no more!
Monroe: This crowd is standing and applauding Chewy’s effort!
Bastardo: He went a long, long way, but no one can stand against three men!
Monroe: Superbeasto did earlier tonight, Louie!
Bastardo: That was a tag match, you moron!
Darth and Pig Iron brawled again, as Pig Iron went for a Schwein Shlop Suplex, but Darth reversed into a Sabreslam and tossed his ally up and over the top!
Bastardo: Bad move! They shoulda held off until everyone else was gone!
The clock finished it’s final countdown as #30 hit the ring, the new IC Champion, Captain Sammitch! The crowd got to it’s feet as Sammitch rushed down to the ring and immediately began brawling with Doc. Mid-Nite!
Monroe: Sammitch is #30! One of these men will go to RobbleMania to fight for the World Title!
Mid-Nite punched away at Sammitch and went for a clothesline, but Sammitch scooped him into an overhead Sammitch Suplex and dumped him out and over the top!
The Allied Powers were attempting to dump Superbeasto, and Darth joined in! Another group effort from all in the ring resulted and Superbeasto finally went up and over!
Monroe: The Giant has been eliminated!
Bastardo: That was a smart move! Gang up on the biggest guy out there and toss him!
Darth immediately turned his attention towards Chevy Nova and Spandex Monkey Man
and hit Sabreslams on them both, before hurling them out of the ring and over the top!
Monroe: We are down to the final four! Darth! Howdy! JLA! and Sammitch!
The Allied Powers squared off and began brawling with Sammitch and Darth. JLA
whipped Sammitch into the ropes and Jeeves grabbed Sammitch’s leg, attempting to trip him! Sammitch turned and grabbed at Jeeves as JLA came flying at him! Sammitch ducked down and JLA went flying over the top rope, landing on Jeeves!
Monroe: I think JLA was just eliminated!
Bastardo: No! Look! He landed on Jeeves!
JLA did indeed land on Jeeves, and held his feet high into the air. The officials signaled that his feet had not touched the ground and therefore he was not eliminated and he lifted up and was placed back into the match!
Monroe: This isn’t right!
Bastardo: It’s the rules! His feet never touched the floor!
JLA hit Sammitch from behind as Howdy ducked under a charging Darth and eliminated the Sith Lord! Howdy hit a Twatbuster on Sammitch and the Powers celebrated as Jeeves entered the ring!
Monroe: I think Jeeves just entered the Rumble!
Bastardo: Don’t be silly, Monroe!
The Powers argued over who would toss Sammitch while Jeeves attempted to calm things down.
Monroe: Well oiled machine, huh?
Bastardo: Most of the time. Every machine needs it’s oil changed every now and then.
Sammitch recovered and hit a flying dropkick on the Powers, sending them reeling! He followed up with a running clothesline that sent Howdy over the top and out to the floor!
Monroe: SAMMITCH!! SAMMITCH!! SAMMITCH!!
Bastardo: Are you hungry or something?
Sammitch then picked up Jeeves into a Sammitch Slam and dumped him out of the ring as well!
Monroe: He eliminated Jeeves for good measure!
Bastardo: Uncalled for! Jeeves wasn't in the match!
Monroe: Then he should've stayed out of the ring!
Sammitch paused to signal to the fans that it was over, which allowed MisterJLA just enough time to hit a “Final Justice” on the SDC leader! The fans booed heavily as MisterJLA smirked in the ring. Grabbing Sammitch by the hair he picked him up and delivered a second “Final Justice” on his foe!
Monroe: That was uncalled for!
Bastardo: You didn’t hear what Sammitch said to JLA before that!
With ease, JLA tossed Sammitch out of the ring and dropped to his knees in celebration as Rob’s Killer Instinct Ripoff Music began to play again!
James White made the announcement: “The winner of the 2006 Randy Rumble. .
.MisterJLA!!!!!!!!”
Monroe: Fans, this is a travesty! We’ll see you next week on Tuesday Night Havoc. For the RDCW, I’m Mike “The Mouth” Monroe. Good night!
I make stars, baby!
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