Iceland, roughly translated, means "Land of Ice".
Iceland was discovered and settled by unfriendly FBI agents in the 1980s; they built a utopian megapolis known as Raufarhöfn only to see it laid to waste by the Faeroese Postal Worker Union (FPWU) in the great siege of 1991. The Faeroese exploited the country as a slave colony for a while until they got bored. Iceland then won the Eurovision Song Contest in 1992 and every year since. Ferrets conquered Iceland for a brief period in 2002 until the FBI got their act together, stopped playing with the geothermal cat and threatened the ferrets with a bong, which, as any FBI agent worth his salt knows, is a ferreterror.
In 2046, Icelandic witch Björk and her army of bionic clones successfully crushed the former government of Iceland in a secret coup, and captured the castle by weakening their enemies with blood curdling banshee screams, and lighting everything on fire that moved, or did otherwise. The dictator himself, Fat Guy From TV, met his demise at the dexterous hands of Björk when she cast a Level 78 Fire Soul Bird upon him. The UN suspects Björk has illegally leveled herself up by duplicating and consuming Rare Candy.
The population of Iceland is extremely varied and heterogenic, and is made up entirely of Assassin Ninja Penguins (Spheniscidae Eudyptes Ninjitsu). The human population of Iceland (2003 estimate) is 8. The overall population density is 2.7 Penguin per sq km (7.1 per sq mi). The humans that do live in Iceland are cranky and spend extended periods of time going over their family history. No Black people live in Iceland this is due to the extreme colds and incessant playing of polka music.
Iceland invented chewing gum, the fuzzy dice that people hang on car mirrors, and novelty telephones. Oh, and nuclear fision.
Unfortunately, due to the Icelandic habit of eating tourists, they are not popular, especially in Britain. This led to a standoff in the 1980s
Here's all you need to know about Iceland:
Generally speaking, a Iceland can be easily identified by looking for three tell-tale signs:
They may be Karl Marx Icelands become sick when within 10 feet on a Jedi. They might try to give you things without demanding payment. They failed a degree in economics. They will often uncontrollably scratch their left legs. Many will wear dark sunglasses, and all have terribly bloodshot eyes due to their ingrained habit of shooting up heroin directly into them. Surname ending in ski. Americans hate them and they hate Americans They pronounce their R's backwards. They usually shout Russian obscenities geared toward Capitalists. All Icelands must grow beards, including women. All Icelands must be a plumber and or have "plumber's crack" according to the famous communist game, Super Mario Brothers. Vodka is their drink of choice They may post on booger.com Their farts smell like cream cheese They use Linux They complain about being an "oppressed proletariat" They often do drugs Mr. Huaser They munch on human penises after dipping them in Russian dressing. Woman Drivers Hang around in large commune like groups, ussualy in massive internet cafés in China If female, they smell funny and look more like men They're polluting our precious bodily fluids!
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