. . .as Mike "The Mouth" Monroe and Madman MarcuM welcome us to the Cheesedome!
Monroe: Tonight, former partners collide as Grimm and Johnny Evil will finally face off one on one!
MarcuM: And Johnny Evil has promised that the newest, biggest, baddest member of The Otaku will debut here tonight and finish Grimm off for good!
Monroe: We'll see about that! A match signed after last week's tag title match chaos! Krazed of the West Side Rollers takes on the Million $ Pitbull, Charlie!
MarcuM: Krazed might get the treatment that Charlie gave J last week!
Monroe: Or Charlie might be the Roller's next victim! Another of our RDCW "tryouts" tonight: The Great Bluedini takes on Baarooq, the militant African-American D&D Barbarian!
MarcuM: I think Balls Nasty might have something else to say about these tryouts!
Monroe: He might, if he can get past the returning Ghost Hog! Also the Fantastic Brothers return to take on the MWO in tag action! Tonight! Let's go to the ring and the T & Angels!
RDCW Tryouts The Great Bluedini vs. Baarooq, the Militant African-American D&D Barbarian
We cut to backstage. In a room we see Jeremy bandaged up and laying down on a bed. Krazed has come in to check on him...
K: Hey man, how are you doing?
J doesnt really talk he just mumbles and gives a thumbs up.
K: Thats good man. Thats good. Sorry we couldnt get your back last week. But dont worry. Charlie will be getting his tonight. He cant hide behind his little bastards anymore. I've got a chair just for him...
Krazed turns to walk out...
K: Oh yeah, and if you need another bedpan, the other belt is right over here alright? Ill make sure Tim and Schwartz check in on you later. I've got some ass-kicking to do...
Monroe: Well, Madman, it looks like there is still now respect for the tag titles from the West Side Ro....
Marcum: Oh, please, Monroe. Those titles are lucky to be urinated on by such cham......
*Bad Company fades in over the Cheesedome PA system.*
Monroe: What's going on here? Balls Nasty's match isn't until later on tonight.
*Nasty is wearing a wifebeater t-shirt and jeans. He's carrying a large cooler in one hand and a plastic bag in the other. He walks over to the announce table and sets the bag and cooler on top of the table. Reluctantly, Monroe gets out of his chair and surrenders his headset. The announcer motions to a producer off camera to get him replacements.*
Marcum: Hey, Nasty, old pal. Have a seat. To what do I owe the honor?
*Nasty pulls a beer bottle out of the cooler and pops the cap off with the side of the table.*
Nasty: Since, for the second week in a row, the Doc Paragon hasn't decided to use me in a match, I'm going to sit out here and be useful in some capacity. I think I'd make a good color commentary guy.
Marcum: Uh... but, Nasty, you're in the second match on the card with Ghost....
Nasty: Damnit! Don't tell me what match I'm in! I know what the card is, but let's face it. Ghost Iron or Pig Hog or whatever the hell he's calling himself now isn't really competition, is he? All he does is sulk and whine in the back like he's in the WWE or something.
*Nasty reaches into the bag and pulls out a cardboard bucket. He turns it so the label is facing directly into the camera. It reads "Joe's Chicken and Donut Shack".*
Marcum: Oh man! Joe's famous Chicken and Donut bucket! May I?
*Marcum reaches into the bucket and pulls out a crispy donut. It crunches as he takes a bite.*
Marcum: Mmmmm..... I got a piece of skin on that one.
*Marcum looks into the camera and gives a thumbs up.*
Marcum: It's crunch-o-licious.
Nasty backhands Marcum on the shoulder.*
Nasty: Stop hornin' in on my action. They gave me a fifteen dollar gift certificate for this.
Marcum: Sorry.
Nasty: Joe's Chicken and Donut Shack. Just five miles south of the Cheesedome on Route 69 across from the Strippers and Waffles and Roboken Free Clinic.
*backstage, Grimm's private room. Grimm is sitting on a bench and wrapping his hands up in black tape. We hear a voice come from offscreen.
"It's time. I'm going down to the ring with you tonight."
Grimm looks up at the voice offscreen. He looks back down and continues taping before replying.
"Too dangerous. I'm outnumbered as it is. I can't watch out for you as well."
The voice responds.
"I can take care of myself. You know that. Besides, Joe Mama's not here this week. . ."
*Grimm bristles slightly at the sound of JM's name before resuming his composure.
". . .and who else is there? Ghost Hog's still wallowing in his own misery. Sammitch ran away from the company. Nowhereman's retired. You don't know what Evil's got planned."
Grimm finishes taping his hand and cuts the tape before starting on his other hand and replying.
"I know two things about what Evil's got planned: 1.) It will be ludicrous, and 2.) it will be painful. I don't want you involved in either."
Grimm finishes taping up and shadowboxes the wall a few times.
"You forget that I've seen my share of both ludicrous and painful. In fact, you could say I've built my reputation on it. You need me there. There's no one else willing or able to do this."
Grimm continues shadowboxing, his punches growing in speed and intensity until he finally punches into the wall, leaving a large hole in the cheap plaster before withdrawing his fist.
"All right. Fine. You can be at ringside. But if things go badly. . ."
"If things go badly, I know the procedure. But I'm confident they won't get to that point."
*We seem to be joining a conversation that's already started.*
Ariel: WOW! THAT'S WEIRD, EVEN FOR YOU!
JE: AND they explode!
BFE: Explode?
JE: Yes, explode. Why?
BFE: I can barely see in that outfit. Why can't we go back to the all Elvis thing?
JE: With our new arrival, we have to think BIG!
Ariel: WHAT ABOUT GRIMM?! AREN'T YOU WORRIED?
JE: If there's one person in RDCW who can make me worry, it's Grimm. That's why I have to keep him as off balance as I can. I have to make him fight my fight. Make him follow my rules. I'm not saying I wouldn't have a chance in a fair fight, but why make it a fair fight if I don't have to? And if all else fails, there's always...THE DOOMCHOKE!
Ariel: YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER USE IT!
BFE: You said it was too dangerous to use on anyone!
*Hiro looks concerned, but says nothing.*
JE: I'm not saying I'll use it tonight. But who knows in the coming weeks. Grimm is one of the toughest men ever to step into any arena. Using a move that's too dangerous may be the only way.
Backstage, a loading dock has been converted into a makeshift lounge, with creaky, rusting folding chairs and dirty, wobbly tables arranged around the bare concrete floor. Various RDCW 'hopefuls' are sitting around waiting for their chance at greatness with varying levels of trepidation.
Marcum: Looks like the RDCW Tryouts are still going strong!
Monroe: Fantastic.
At one end of the dock, The Great Bluedini is adjusting his bowtie in a mirror while receiving further fashion advice from Chief Pink Feather. At the other end, Baarooq, the militant African-American D&D Barbarian tightens his chain-mail armbands and spars with his reflection in a plate-glass window. A nervous-looking Dolphin Lad sits by the door, nursing his lingering injuries and listening for footsteps outside the door. A handful of other hopefuls are sitting around a table playing poker, including a mouse-costumed luchador, a cheesy-looking wrestler in green with a dragon mask over his face, a patent-leather-clad cowboy wannabe with a fake moustache, and a red-painted man in a cheap, store-bought firefighter costume.
Marcum: Hey, all the best and the brightest are here tonight!
As the cowboy - we'll call him Pecos Pleather Pete or Triple P- wins another hand and rakes in some cheap plastic chips, heavy footfalls begin approaching from the hallway outside. Dolphin Lad jumps to his feet and begins clicking and squealing in earnest until the door flies open, slamming him behind it as Balls Nasty strides onto the loading dock, beer in hand and chicken/donut in mouth.
Balls Nasty (crunching on his meal): Well, well, well. *shmack* Looks like y'all didn't take my advice when ya had the chance. I just stepped out here for a smoke before I go back in there and comment on some matches, but I think my smokes can wait!
Pecos Pleather Pete slides his chair back from the table and saunters over toward Balls Nasty.
Pleather Pete: Now listen here, Pilgrim. Y'oughta know better'n to go pokin' around these here parts!
BN:
PP: Now don't make me learn ya a lesson here!
BN: Y'know, I was gonna kick your ass because of that shitty costume. But now I'm gonna kick your ass because of that shitty accent!
[i[Balls sets aside his beer and donut and shoves Pecos Pleather Pete back into the card table as the other hopefuls scatter. Pete comes up swinging, but Balls ducks under his punch easily and lands a haymaker of his own, leveling Pecos Pleather Pete with a single punch.[/i]
Marcum: Giddy up, cowboy!
Hombre Del Mouse sneaks up behind Balls Nasty with a chair, but before he can swing it Balls spins around and grins at him. Hombre Del Mouse starts shaking nervously and lets the chair drop. Balls lets fly with a left hook that spins the much smaller man around, then grabs Hombre Del Mouse by the tail of his costume, flings him off balance, and executes a Tavernsmasher onto the dropped chair. At this point, both The Great Bluedini and Baarooq, the militant African-American D&D Barbarian have silently ducked out the door.
Monroe: Balls Nasty is cleaning out the loading dock!
Marcum: I didn't know it was trash day!
Balls Nasty turns to confront the Fireman when suddenly he feels a pinch on the behind and whirls around.
Chief Pink Feather: I was just curious!
Chief Pink Feather scampers for the door and prances off down the hallway at full speed. Balls starts after him but stops when he notices the green dragon wrestler just standing there, looking at him.
BN: Feeling left out, dragon man?
The other man says nothing.
BN: You got something to say to me?
The green dragon mask hides the man's face, but no voice can be heard from behind it.
BN: You're startin' to piss me off. You got somethin' to say, say it now, before I kick your ass.
The other man simply turns and walks away toward the door. Balls starts after him but is hit weakly in the back by a poorly-aimed fire-extinguisher nozzle. He turns and decks the Fireman, then calls out the door after the green dragon wrestler.
BN: You better run, dragon man! You got any sense in you, get your ass outta here, or there's gonna be hell to pay, Balls Nasty style!
Balls kicks at the fallen Fireman, then turns when he hears the unconscious Dolphin Lad slump to the floor from behind the door. Balls reaches across the table, retrieves a card, and tucks it into the waistband of Dolphin Lad's shorts. We zoom in to see it's the deuce of clubs.
Monroe: Lowest-value card in the deck!
Marcum: He sure is!
Balls digs at Dolphin Lad again with his foot.
BN: Fucknut.
Balls Nasty bends over, strikes a match on Pleather Pete's belt buckle, and lights his cigar. Fade to black.
The Great Bluedini vs. Baarooq, the militant African-American, D&D Barbarian
Bluedini and Baarooq ran down to ringside together, as Balls Nasty resumed his chase of them. Nasty cornered the two hopeful in the ring and delivered several brutal punches and kicks to them before finishing them off with a pair of brutal Tavernsmashers.
Nasty then grabbed a mic from ringside and began hurling insults and challenges at his opponent for tonight: Ghost Hog.
Singles Mach Balls Nasty vs. Ghost Hog
Balls continued in the ring, insulting Ghost Hog for several long moments, even through a commercial break as Ghost Hog failed to respond or to even enter the Cheesedome. Finally, after several moments, Senior RDCW official Lothar declared Balls Nasty the winner by forfeit.
Returning from commercial break, Balls Nasty remained in the ring, mic in hand.
BN: Balls Nasty's thirst for violence and alcohol has not been quenched. So I'm staying here in the ring until I get what I want!
The Fantastic Brothers ran down to ringside and slid into the ring as the MWO followed with much trepidation, remembering their prior defeat at Balls' hands.
Tag Match
Fantastic Bros. vs. MWO
Balls remained in the ring as James Fantastic got in his face. James made the mistake of turning his back on Nasty to appeal to the fans as Balls struck him in the back of the head with the mic! Balls continued poundidng away on James as Ryan attempted to help his brother out, but Balls was too much for the inexperienced younger brother and took out the RDCW rookie with a devastating Camero Cut!
Monroe: OH MY GOB!!!!!!
MarcuM: Balls Nasty may have just ended the career of young Ryan Fantastic!
Balls sat in the middle of the ring, smiling as the Fantastic Brothers lay in the ring. He slid out of the ring and headed to the back as the MWO slowly crawled into the ring and Spamm covered James Fantastic as Syxxty-Nine counted the pin!
Krazed scored a pinfall over the Million $ Pitbull in an encounter that was surprisingly athletic after all faction members were banned from ringside! Killconey and Sweet Marlene sat in on commentary as they vowed that the Cheapions would return stronger than ever and bring some much needed respect to the RDCW World Tag Team Titles!
"Ghaleon's Theme" cues up as The Otaku heads into the arena. The ringside area has been remodeled as a scale model of Tokyo has been built in the arena. The Otaku are all dressed as live action Japanese Sci-Fi Superheroes. Johnny Evil is Jet Jaguar, Hiro is Spectreman, BFE is a fat Ultraman, and Ariel is *tba*.
The Otaku enter the ring and Johnny Evil/Jet Jaguar stands in the corner as the music dies down.
"Lords of Salem" then starts up as the crimson hooded, figure leads Grimm out onto the rampway. They pause at the entranceway as the mystery person lifts up their hands and pulls back the hood to reveal. . .
Monroe: Harleykwin! The mystery person who brought Grimm and Joe Mama together as a team is Harleykwin!!!!!!
MarcuM: I'm speechless, Monroe!!!
The crowd erupts as Grimm & Harleykwin enter the ring as Kwin eyes Ariel and starts after her, but Grimm holds her back as the Otaku threaten to move in. After several moments, Grimm manages to talk her into stepping out of the ring, although she's obviously not very happy about it.
Monroe: Fans, this match has taken a couple of very bizarre twists! We'll be back after this!
Yes, the fans rose to their feet as Nowhereman's music hit and he made his way into the Cheesedome and stepped into the ring in the midst of the surprised competitors. Nowhereman reached down and grabbed a mic from James White.
NWM: Now I know I wasn't announced as being here tonight, but the RDCW contacted me earlier about making a surprise appearance and some sort of guest referee deal! We agreed to a special one night deal but they wanted me to be some sort of special guest referee! I ain't the type to be enforcing rules, so I said I wanted to enforce anarchy! So even though I will declare the winner tonight, I will be doing my best to push chaos between these two men! Ring the damn bell and let's go!
*The bell rang and Grimm and Johnny Evil went after each other, jockeying for supremacy from an opening position. They pushed each other into the ropes as Nowhereman yawned. NWM reached into his pocket and pulled out a chain. He tapped Evil on the shoulder and handed it to him. Evil took the chain and swung at Grimm who blocked the shot and began laying into his former partner with big left hand punches!
Hiro attempted to climb up onto the ring apron but was stopped as Harleykwin began cracking her whip towards The Otaku members. Kwin cracked her whip again and Hiro and BFE backed off away from the ringside area!
Grimm whipped Evil into the ropes and delivered a powerslam, knocking over one of the scale models! He continued punching away at Evil's head as Nowhereman walked out of the ring and grabbed a chair from ringside. NWM tossed the chair into the ring and Grimm delivered a devastating chair shot to Evil, following up with a brutal 138 onto the chair! Grimm went for a pin, but Nowhereman shook his head and said "Not enough violence!" The special guest promoter of violence then began digging under the ring, pulling out several items, including a garbage can filled with weapons, a bag of tacks, more chairs, and a table!
Grimm picked up the can and dumped the contents out onto the ring, and began looking for something. He pulled up a staple gun and held it up for the audience to see. But he turned right into a top rope Deathchop from Evil! Evil grabbed the staple gun and began injecting staples into Grimm's forehead as the audience gasped and Nowhereman sat in the corner, chuckling. Nowhereman picked up a cheese grater and handed it off to Evil, but Grimm hit a lowblow and took the weapon. Grating Evil's forehead as both men were now bleeding profusely!
Grimm picked up Evil in a gorilla press and carried him over to one of the models of Tokyo and dropped him directly on top of it! As Evil landed, the model exploded in a huge shower of sparks, sending Evil directly off of the now destroyed model and rolling back into the ring!
Outside, Harleykwin used her whip to chase The Otaku back to the backstage area, and followed them to ensure they wouldn't return. Nowhereman handed a pizza cutter to Grimm, who began attempting to slice open Evil even more! Evil fought off the pizza cutter and and managed to hit a Mr. Toad's Wild Ride onto a pair of folding chairs that Nowhereman had set up in the middle of the ring!
Nowhereman laid the table up against one of the turnbuckle corners and Evil placed Grimm against the table and held up a chair, preparing to lay into him with it, but Grimm ducked out of the way and the chair hit the table and bounced back into Evil's face! Evil staggered around as Grimm caught him with a belly to belly suplex! Grimm picked up the garbage can and slammed it over Evil's head!
Grimm pulled the table out of the corner and set it up with Nowhereman's help. He climbed the turnbuckles and signaled for the Triple 6 Bomb as Nowhereman helped position Johnny Evil. Grimm hit the Triple 6 Bomb, sending Evil through the table! He signaled for the end, but music began to play over the Cheesedome sound system. Several roars overdubbed against the Godzilla theme song sounded as a very large man in a cheap, ill fitting Godzilla costume made his way to ringside with Ariel.
Grimm looked at Nowhereman, who was just as confused and shrugged his shoulders. Grimm tried to get a quick pin on Evil, but "Godzilla" climbed into the ring and broke up the pinfall with a giant elbow to Grimm's back! "Godzilla" then picked up Grimm and signaled for a chokeslam! He hit the chokeslam, sending Grimm through the ring and to the floor!
Monroe: OHMYGOB!!!!!!!!!!!!
A hush fell over the arena as "Godzilla" pulled Grimm up out of the hole and laid him out on the mat. The large man then rolled Johnny Evil over on top of Grimm and pointed for Nowhereman to make the count. Reluctantly, Nowhereman counted to three, and raised Johnny Evil's arm in victory!
MarcuM: Hahaha! G-Zilla is the Grimm Killa! What a brilliant plan by Johnny Evil!
Monroe: He's taking off the Godzilla mask. . .is it. . .it is! That's El Superbeasto! Johnny Evil has brought El Superbeasto back to the RDCW!!!!
MarcuM: Brilliant! It's almost a Bastardo reunion!
Monroe: And we still have no idea what this "Doomchoke" of Evil's might be! Fans, we're out of time! Goodnight!
The mystery person who brought Grimm and Joe Mama together as a team is Harleykwin!!!!!! 