RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Media JM Review: My Bloody Valentine 3D

The Plot: Tom returns to his hometown - the mining town of Harmony - on the 10th Anniversary of the night Harry Warden went on a murder spree that killed 22 people and almost cost Tom his life. Instead of a welcoming, Tom is hated by the townsfolk and suspected of a new series of murders taking place. Is he really the killer, or has Harry Warden come back to finish business he started ten years ago? Or is there a new killer in Harmony?

The Good: In any slasher flick, the most important thing is the killing. The original film had some sweet and original kills (the screenwriter and director used their mine to great effect), and the remake holds its own pretty durned well. Decapitations, eye trauma, head trauma, evisceration, and so on...they're all here and, with the exception of a few GCI missteps, are enjoyable and impressive. The midget kill in particular, though partially off-camera, was well done and made the crowd chuckle.

While it's not a deal breaker, there should be at least a little nudity. The original had none, but that's okay, all things considered. The remake has one scene, but it's a doozy. Full frontal, and the scene itself runs a solid three minutes or so. Very nice!

The nods to the original are appreciated and, overall, are both gratuitous and well used. The dryer kill scene, originally cut from the original but available on the uncut DVD that was released a few weeks ago, shows up, as does the killer's act of knocking out the dim lighting in the mine during the climax. While both are a bit forced, they were still nice to see.

The 3D...wow! Just...wow!!! In a 3D movie, you generally get some scenes that look great in 3D and some that are scripted to take advantage of the effect. In this film, you get both, but the entire film has a richness and depth to it thanks to the effect. There are plenty of moments when the pick axe comes right out at you, but there are also moments (such as the drive scenes where the windshield seems closer to the viewer than to the characters), where the depth effect is impressive. And the use of 3D effects on the killer's head lamp as s/he scans the scene, facing the audience, was cool as hell.

The Bad: While I'd never expect a slasher flick to be flawlessly logical from start to finish, I do expect the killer's reveal to be at least a little logical. At the very least, don't cheat on it if you're the filmmaker. While the original reveal made me cock an eyebrow at it, the remakes revelation is guilty of cheating the viewer. It doesn't ruin the movie per se, but it's a bit of a bummer.

I also never expect Oscar-worthy performances, but there's an exchange between Tom and Sarah, played by Jaime King, that was just awkward and lousy. I'll blame the screenwriter for King's awful part in it, as she seemed like even she wasn't buying what she was saying.

The eye trauma kill has a moment where there's a pause and the victim says, "Shit." It breaks up the tension of the scene and while, overall, the kill is pretty cool, that one line was just unnecessary. The screenwriter and director should be forced to watch the eye trauma scenes from Fulci's Zombie Flesh Eaters for two hours as punishment, if only to see how the scene should've been done.

Aside from some Valentines Day candy hearts floating around, there isn't much to make this a true holiday slasher flick. While the original takes place around the Valentine's Day holiday, in the remake it's just barely mentioned. Which sucks because there are things that can be done with that theme - kills to be made and such.

The Bullshit: The theater charged me $3.50 for the 3D glasses needed to watch the film, and then had a receptacle to deposit them after the flick. Fuck that - if I gotta pay for them, and I ain't getting my money back, then I'm keeping the glasses, if only as a "fuck you" to the theater. They should let you return them at the customer service booth and get your $3.50 back if they're so eager to have you "recycle" them. It's not like the theater doesn't have people standing around doing nothing who could be manning the refund counter...

The Verdict: The film itself, while not perfect, is more enjoyable than not. Sweet kills, nice nudity, and cool use of 3D (called "RealD" nowadays) outweigh the sometimes laughable performances and poor killer revelation. If you're curious to see what the new generation of 3D (RealD) looks like, you could do worse than to check this out. The added charge for the glasses you need borders on extortion, so keep the fucking things.

If you don't really care about the 3D/RealD, then wait for the non-3D DVD release and rent it unless you're a bigtime horror/slasher fan. You won't lose as much in the translation as you might think. In the end, My Bloody Valentine 3D is an okay remake that made me appreciate the original that much more.

JM for Media X mod...

thedoctor Moderator Timelord. Drunkard.
15000+ posts 01/23/09 11:45 PM Reading a post
Forum: Media
Thread: JM Review: My Bloody Valentine 3D

Yes, he's gunning for your job. Deal with it.

FORUM FIGHT!

It's the opening salvo of my intended raid of the Media Forum. Deal with it, bitches. This forum belongs to the RKMBs now! And there's nothing you can do about it!

the original is canadian fuckers.

No shit, Sherlock. Filmed in Nova Scotia. You can tell by the accents and the fact that Moosehead beer is all over the place.

The original Black Christmas and Deathdream are Canadian film, as well.

Doesn't that mean that your original comment was obvious as well?

No, because it was only obvious AFTER he looked it up on Wikipedia!

I saw this today, my glasses were free. So they must of saw the fat guy smuggling in snacks.