Show starts with that stupid wheel, John Cena and Randy Orton approached by Josh Mathews who welcomes us to Raw Roulette (like they're really going to spin it without using magnets and shit). Eve spins the wheel to determine the stipulations of tonight's Orton vs Cena match. And it lands on a tables match. Cena says it's a new season so tonight he's feeling lucky for some reason.
Theme!
Chad Ochocinco comes to the ring. He welcomes us to Raw and says there's never been a guest star as handsome as himself. That's a matter of opinion. "AWESOME" interrupts and Miz comes in. He says they're nothing alike because he's a champion and Chad will never be champion because he plays for the Bungles. Chad says "Child, please." He names off some Cincinatti sports bullshit, then he and his teammates will win the Stuporbowl I mean Superbowl. Miz says Chad and his team are overrated and *beep*! Email from the GM to spin the opaque wheel and.. Miz gets a submission match against an opponent of Chad's choosing! Big deal. I wonder who it will be. Yup, Daniel Bryan.
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