RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts Animals

Right now my cat is under house arrest.
She was bitten by some damn thing hiding out in the woods--probably another cat or something--and the vet said she can't go out for 45 days.
Forty-five freaking days!
Do you have any idea what it's like having to rush in and out of the house before the cat can get to the door? How about chasing after her when she does get out? Tromping through the woods this time of year is not my favorite thing to do!
We're taking her to the vet later this week and begging him to let us let her out, to save our sanity!

And then there's the fish tanks.
My sister has two tanks (one fresh-water, one salt-water) of tropical fish. She got started by looking after the two fish my niece left behind when they moved out (offspring of a different sister, by the way), and now she has about eight of them.
For now.
They either die off or eat each other. I swear to God, she had one cannibal fish that ate everything else in the damn tank! So she's always having to buy more.
But the biggest problem?
The sound of water trickling through the filter makes me have to pee.

Can you take her out on a leash? She will probably fight the leash but it's better than staying inside.

At first I thought this topic was about the posters!

In a strange way it is!

Pet can be a real pain in th ass. We had this cat who liked to barf,poop,and piss in the house.several years ago I awoke a 5:00am to go to work.I walk down the hallway hall somewhat awake and barefoot and I steped in a pile of cat poop,after a few choice words, I lift my now dirty foot and hop on my clean foot to the bathroom to wash my foot and I manage to hop my clean foot right into a second pile of cat poop.

MY wife came out of the bedroom and the conversation went like this:

wife-"what are you yelling and swearing about?"

me-"your cat shit all over the place!"

wife-"well,why don't you just put her outside?"

me-because "I'm busy steping in all the the shit piles and ...you put the damn cat outside and I'LL go clean my feet"

Wife- "Fine.I don't know why you have to be so grumpy about it."
Crazy cat.

My cat now lives on one of my old motorbikes!

National Anthem of the United Mexican States
Coro

Mexicanos, al grito de guerra
el acero aprestad y el bridón,
y retiemble en sus centros la tierra
al sonoro rugir del cañón.
I
Ciña ¡oh patria!, tus sienes de oliva
de la paz el arcángel divino,
que en el cielo tu eterno destino,
por el dedo de Dios se escribió.

Mas si osare un extraño enemigo,
profanar con su planta tu suelo,
piensa ¡oh patria querida! que el cielo
un soldado en cada hijo te dio.
Coro
II
¡Guerra, guerra sin tregua al que intente
de la patria manchar los blasones!
¡Guerra, guerra! Los patrios pendones
en las olas de sangre empapad.

¡Guerra, guerra! En el monte, en el valle
los cañones horrísonos truenen,
y los ecos sonoros resuenen
con las voces de ¡unión, libertad!
Coro
III
Antes, patria, que inermes tus hijos
bajo el yugo su cuello dobleguen,
tus campiñas con sangre se rieguen,
sobre sangre se estampe su pie.

Y tus templos, palacios y torres
se derrumben con hórrido estruendo,
y sus ruinas existan diciendo:
De mil héroes la patria aquí fue.
Coro
IV
¡Patria, patria! Tus hijos te juran
exhalar en tus aras su aliento,
si el clarín con su bélico acento
los convoca a lidiar con valor.

¡Para ti las guirnaldas de oliva!
¡Un recuerdo para ellos de gloria!
¡Un laurel para ti de victoria!
¡Un sepulcro para ellos de honor!
Coro
Mexicanos, al grito de guerra
el acero aprestad y el bridón,
y retiemble en sus centros la tierra
al sonoro rugir del cañón.

A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:

"Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozin, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?"

His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not."