RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Comic Books Comic Book Fights: Authority vs. Ultimates

(Don't know if this has been done yet, but I'm willing to give it a shot...)

General Fury slams down the phone and pushes a button to his secretary. "Get me the Ultimates... we've got trouble..."

New York City

Six strangers stand in the streets of the Big Apple, staring at the passers-by regarding them with fear.

"It's so odd..." the tallest one says, running his hands through his long white hair. "The way they fear us... I'm not used to it..."

"Don't worry 'bout it, Apollo," says a rugged man in a dark suit and no shoes. "In time they'll love us... when we save them all."

"Right," Midnighter said, popping his knuckles. "When we save them from themselves."

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!"

A large man, dressed in the colors of the American flag drops from the sky, landing atop an unsuspecting Midnighter. The man in black recovers quickly, however, as a fist fight between the two ensues.

"Who are you?" the man in black grunts. "The Greatest American Hero?"

"Believe it or not," the WW2 vet said, gritting his teeth, "the handle's Captain America... and we've come to shut you down..."

"We?"

Midnighter looked up from his fight to see four other costumed avengers standing behind Captain America.

"Girl with wings?" says the only female among America's knights, eyeing Swift as she almost drops out of sight. "She's mine..."

"I see," the Engineer said, rocketing into the air. "It's an ambush!"

"That it is, sister," came the robotic voice of Tony Stark behind his electronic armor as he took to the air after her. "And I don't think you're gonna be happy with the final scores..."

The white-haired man in gold called Apollo illuminated his body with golden energy and stepped quietly into the fray... only to be met by a large blond man with a hammer.

"Going somewhere?" Thor asked.

"Just looking for my bitch," Apollo answered, sneering. "Hello."

"Come in, Cap..." came Fury's voice over America's commlink.

"Kinda busy here, General..." America said, blocking a blow from Midnighter with his shield. "Can we discuss this later?"

"'Fraid not..." Fury answered. "Looks like talk of a rumpus downtown got Dr. Banner a little... well, excited."

"What are you saying, General?" Steve Rogers asked, cuffing Midnighter and wiping the blood off of his chin.

"HULK SMASH PUNY HUMANS!"

"I think he wants to help..." came Fury's response.

"He's too unpreditctable, General," America said, leaping onto a nearby fire escape to momentarily evade his foe. "I don't know if we can contain him and these guys..."

"So let him handle them for you... or at least some of them..."

"But, General..."

"Fury out."

The large greenish-gray behemoth of a man smashed through a building, sending it down on the place where Jack Hawksmoor stood.

"Ah, ah, ah..." the man said, holding up his hand. As he did, the building began to righten itself as the Hulk looked over at Hawksmoor.

"Hulk smash contractor!"

"Go ahead, big guy..." Hawksmoor said, clenching his fists. "Do your worst..."

"Well," Dr. Hank Pym said, towering over New York City, looking down at a man dressed in pink, "looks like it's down to us now, huh?"

"Yup," the Doctor said, looking up.

"So, what are you?" Giant Man asked. "Some kinda queer with a shirt like that?"

"It would take one to know one, I guess," the Doctor said, standing his ground.

"That's it!" Pym said, raising his foot over the Doctor. "This ends now!"

So, gang, which team turns up triumphant? Will Ellis' "new heroes" rearrange the Ultimates and save the Ultimate U. from itself or will Millar's avengers show the Authority who's boss?

Discuss.

Note: The absence of Jenny Sparks was intentional. We can just say, for the sake of arguements, that this story takes place sometime after Authority #12... basically because there are seven Authoritarians and six Ultimates. Sue me.

The Authority wins. One, they're battle-hardened. The only real experienced members of the Ultimates are Thor and Cap. And two, they have no mercy. The Authority are more willing to commit lethal force to get the job done. The ends justify the means, and all that crap.

Here's my take on each little "duel":

Captain America vs. Midnighter: Super Soldier versus Artifical Enhancile. It would be a good scrap, but wouldn't last long. Cap's good, but not that good. Thanks to his memory induction and neural implants, Midnighter can predict millions of tactics his opponent could commit before they occur. Also, he's proficient in all forms of combat and can move extremely fast in short bursts. Cap is a very good fighter and has the serum to back him up, but it won't save him from getting his neck snapped in two.

Apollo vs. Thor: Thunder God versus Sun King. In my vision, I see this fight taking place all over the world with plenty of destruction. This is the hardest battle to guess who the victor would be, but I say Apollo. He's fast (30 sec. roundtrip), can absorb massive amounts of solar energy and convert it for various purposes (heat beams, charged strength, etc.) and is invulnerable against most opponents. The only weakness he has is lack of sunlight; if it's not there, he ain't got nuthin'. But this is an open environment, so Thor's gonna get liquified.

Iron Man vs. [b]The Engineer: The Playboy versus The Maker. There is no contest here. Whatever Angie can think of in her pretty little mind becomes reality. I'll give Stark some slack and say his sonic disruptors could... disrupt her temporarily, but she'll find a way around them, scan his armor, find the weak spot and strike. I mean, c'mon now! It's a man in a machine against a living machine.

Giant Man vs. The Doctor: This is funny. Magic and Science fight for supremacy. The prediction getting hazy on this one... I see plenty of bickering... ut! Vision's gone. Maybe it'll come back later.

Swift vs. Wasp: Heh. Hot flying asian chicks.

Hulk vs. Hawksmoor: The Jade Behemoth and the God of Cities. This would be a great visual. Hawksmoor bringing whole buildings down on Banner and he just smashes them all to dust. I'd say this is the only battle one of the Ultimates could truly win, and does. Jack tries everything to stop Hulk: shaping windows into glass daggers, turning streets into concrete quicksand, but Hulk still wants to smash puny contractor. Eventually, Banner gets a hold of him and rips his limbs off.

If this ever came to be, however, I'm sure it would end in a stalemate. It always ends in a stalemate.

[ 11-29-2002, 03:21 AM: Message edited by: TK-069 ]

The Authority wins easily.

Infact, any one member of the Authority could beat the Ultimates alone.

Even Swift, A-Man? Even Swift?

I like your predictions, TK... especially Hawksmoor vs. Hulk. Damn, I'd pay money to see that one play out...

[ 11-29-2002, 10:26 AM: Message edited by: Chewy Walrus ]

Yeah, not Swift......but the rest could.

Very nice, Chewy.

But Hawksmoor vs. The Hulk, no contest. Why? Because with all the damage the Hulk is doing to the city, Hawksmoor would drop without even having a finger laid on him. His empathic nature with cities works against him here. He's down. He barely manages to cough out "door. . ." and port out to the Carrier.

Iron Man vs. Engineer. Stark tries to flirt straight off the bat, but Angie's too smart for that. Stark soon finds himself surrounded by Engineers who literally dismantle his armor in moments. "Now about those drinks. . ." one of them says, admiring his boxers.

Apollo vs. Thor. Thor attempts to deflate Apollo by summoning up a storm, but Apollo's having none of it. He slams into the thunder god at full speed, carrying them into the heart of the sun. Soon the only remnant of him left is Mjolnir.

The Doctor vs. Giant Man. While I like Hank Pym's characterization the best out of the Ultimates so far, he's about as useful here as a twig in a hurricane. The Doctor sends his mind careening across time and space, on a one-way "trip" he'll never come down from.

Midnighter vs. Captain America. While blocking, parrying, and counterstriking, the ultimate soldier of the 21st century figures out how to defeat the ultimate soldier of the 1940s. He makes a pass at him. Gives him a quick peck on the cheek. Cap is stunned and offguard long enough for Middy to finish him off.

Wasp vs. Swift. The Wasp manages to avoid Swift long enough to lead her straight into the Hulk's path. Hulk swats her out of the sky and looms menacingly over her body.

Authority vs. Hulk. On his way back from the sun Apollo heads towards the Hulk. Wasp tries to distract him by flashing her breasts at him, but unfazed, Apollo fries her with his eyebeams. He slams into the Hulk full force, preventing him from violating Swift. Midnighter rolls by, grabs her, and doors them both into the carrier. The Doctor changes the Hulk serum (or whatever it is now) in his body into Kool-Aid, causing him to revert back to Banner. Engineer and Apollo then finish him off.

Done.

And to quote a friend of mine, "shut it, wang chung".

I gotta give it to The Authority. They struck me as much more battle-savvy and efficient, and The Ultimates just had a lot of attitude.

If I were a gambling man,I'd put my money on the Ultimates.They usually display more of a team ethic,with the Authority operates with the attitude of "every man for himself".

If i were a bookie I would have my goons go break Oakley's leggs because he ows me money after the Ultimates got thier sorry asses handed to them.

I'll break his legs for free.

yay, PJP is feeling better...

and The Authority win no contest..just maybe swift..but she'd just fly around and be a traget so the others could take them out....

I thought they already fought the ultimates in millar's first arc????

The Authority killed God. I think they have the upper hand.

Even Swift can just say "Door" and port the Ultimates into deep space. No contest.

Depends on what team The Bat-Man fans are rooting for. If they can come up with scenarios where The Bat-Man beats Superman, everything's possible.

Ha!

I think we're underestimating Captain America. Like The Bat-Man, he is prepared. Also, he is backed by SHIELD - an enormous organisation with considerable assets at its disposal.

Cap primes Thor for a pre-emptive strike: Thor gets in first and stuns the Doctor and Apollo. Apollo has also shown his vulernablility to a "particle strike" when he was done over by the Americans. In the meantime, SHIELD is jamming access to the Carrier.

Then you've got Midnighter v Hulk and Cap, Iron Man and Thor v Hawksmoor, Swift v Giant Man and the Wasp. Throw in Black Widow (who seems to be a female equivalent to Midnighter), Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, and the Authority are done. But even without, they've got troubles.

First scenario: Midnighter was not able to handle Regis, so there is no way he can handle the Hulk, especially with Cap harrassing him from the sides and potentially directing Hulk onto him.

Second scenario: Hawksmoor gets peppered from a great height by Stark and Thor. Thor can teleport things, so why not teleport Hawksmoor into the countryside? There are no cities to call on for help when you are standing in a cornfield.

Third scenario: Swift might eat The Wasp, but then gets chased and nailed by Giant Man.

Much of this turns on Thor - so if Thor gets nailed early by The Doctor, the fight swings the other way.

Very good, but it goes under the assumption that the Ultimates are familiar with the Authority. If so, that would mean that the Authority would also be familiar with the Ultimates and their government connection. So I still see a scenario where the Authority comes out on top by knowing to take out Thor and Hulk right off the bat with either a door or the Doctor's powers. You seem to also have forgotten the Engineer, who I think is more than a match for Tony Stark. Thirty replicated engineers flying around could more than handle Tony as well as keeping the others busy. Scarlet Witch vs. the Doctor would be intersting, but I think reality manipulation trumps chaos magic. Hawksmoore keeps Quicksilver busy by having New York changing its street surfaces or what have you. Apollo turns Hawkeye to ashes then turns around and bitch slaps Black Widow back to Russia. Authority is a major powerhouse with some major toys and experience behind them that the Ultimates just can't match.

I'm gonna do the Fanboy flame thingie now (even though I'm not really that big a fan)

what about JLA vs. The Authority?

The Authority wins if, for no other reason, the Ultimates aren't really that competent, if you think about it.

They've really only had three big battles: against the Hulk (nearly lost); against the Skrulls (could've lost, if not for the Hulk); and against Magneto (got their asses handed to them). They also took on the "Ultimate Six," which was actually comprised of a group of second stringers plus Spiderman, and beat them, but not that handily.

well i haven't seen the Ultimates do anything that really compares to what i've seen the Authority pull off so in a straight out fight i'd put my money on them.

Considering that Midnighter and Apollo are members of the Authority, I don't think it'd be a straight fight...



Get it? D'you get it??? Apollo and Midnighter are gay??? It wouldn't be straight because straight is the opposite of gay??? Get it, huh, huh? HUH?

(...shut up...)

Authority would beat Ultimates, okay?!?

Fuckers...

Can't we all just get along?

Probably not. This is the RKMBs after all...

You take that back! It is not!