RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The Revenge of Frank Burns.

Christmas trees take an average of 7-10 years to mature.

100,000 people are employed in the Christmas tree industry.

98 percent of all Christmas trees are grown on farms.

How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Don't feed it !

Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?
Because they would look silly in plastic macs

Which reindeer have the shortest legs ?
The smallest ones !

What is Rudolph favourite day of the year?

Red nose day!



What does Rudolph want for Christmas?

A Snowy Sleighstation!

Mary said to Santa, "what's that out-side?"
Santa replied "it's Reindeer (Rain Dear)"


Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the Christmas party?
Because he didn't want to be recognised!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
"Horn"-aments!


What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A pony sleigh station!

What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!


How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive"?
Olive? Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names!"

What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.

SANTA'S PICK UP LINES
I know when you`ve been bad or good -- so let's skip the small talk, sister!
Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
I know when you`ve been bad or good -- so let's skip the small talk, sister!
Some of my best toys run on batteries... <wink wink>
I see you when you're sleeping - and you don't wear any underwear, do you?
Screw the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "nice AND naughty" list!
Wanna join the "Mile High" club?
That's not a candy cane in my pocket, honey. I'm just glad to see you!

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Assorted X-mas One-Liners
A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: "Anyone want to buy a present?"

Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered "No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!"

I think that Santa is very jolly because he knows where a
ll the bad girls live.

No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves.

No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!

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During the making of the animated Christmas classic A Charlie Brown Christmas, Peanuts creator Charles Schulz had a meeting with Lee Mendelson, the show’s producer, and Bill Melendez, its lead animator. The discussion concerned Schulz’s insistence about including a New Testament scripture reading of the Christmas story from the Bible. The scripture reading was to be spoken by Peanuts character Linus Van Pelt in response to Charlie Brown’s lament, “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?” Mendelson and Melendez both voiced their concern about the reading, with Melendez telling Schulz, “It’s very dangerous for us to start talking about religion now.” Schulz answered him by saying, “Bill, if we don’t, who will?” In the end, the scripture reading was retained, and the CBS special was the second-most watched show of the week when it debuted on December 9, 1965.

Linus’ King James version scripture reading from Luke 2: 8-14, read:

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this [shall be] a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

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A Pit bull is any of several breeds of dog in the molosser breed group. Popular perceptions that the breeds are inherently violent, or that they have the same temperament but are more physically dangerous in an attack than other dogs, have made concern over pit bull attacks a popular topic of local journalism, and sometimes a source of minor public panic. This reputation has also led to the Pit bull's dominant position in illegal dog fighting and guard dog roles. Debates around restricting ownership of these dogs as a public hazard are highly contentious. Widely reported pit bull attacks have resulted in breed-specific legislation being enacted in several jurisdictions, and in increased premiums for liability insurance. Some airlines have placed restrictions on air travel for pit bulls.

Though the pit bull type dogs were all created with similar crossbreeding between bulldogs and terriers, each individual breed within the type has a somewhat different history. There are an estimated 77.5 million owned dogs in the United States; however, the number of pit bull-type dogs has not been reliably determined.

The American pit bull terrier is the product of interbreeding between terriers and a breed of bulldogs to produce a dog that combined the gameness of the terrier with the strength and athleticism of the bulldog.These dogs were initially bred in England and arrived in the United States with the founders. In the United States, these dogs were used as catch dogs for semi-wild cattle and hogs, to hunt, to drive livestock, and as family companions. Some have been selectively bred for their fighting prowess.

The United Kennel Club (UKC) was the first registry to recognize the American pit bull terrier.[12] UKC founder C. Z. Bennett assigned UKC registration number 1 to his own dog, "Bennett's Ring", as an American pit bull terrier in 1898.
American pit bull terriers successfully fill the role of companion dog, police dog,and therapy dog.Terriers in general have a higher tendency towards dog aggressionand American pit bull terriers constitute the majority of dogs used for illegal dog fighting in the United States. In addition, law enforcement organizations report these dogs are used for other nefarious purposes, such as guarding illegal narcotics operations,use against the police,and as attack dogs.

The fighting reputation of pit bull-type dogs led the San Francisco Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in 1996 to relabel pit bull terriers as "St. Francis terriers" (not associated with the "terrier" mascot of St. Francis College in New York) so that they might be more readily adopted;60 temperament-screened dogs were adopted until the program was halted after several of the newly adopted dogs killed cats.The New York City Center for Animal Care and Control tried a similar approach in 2004 by relabeling their pit bull terriers as "New Yorkies", but dropped the idea in the face of overwhelming public

The American Staffordshire terrier was the product of 19th century interbreeding between bulldogs and terriers that produced the "bull-and-terrier dog", "Half and Half", and at times "pit dog" or "pit bullterrier," the last named becoming the "Staffordshire bull terrier" in England. The bulldog of that time differed from the modern Bulldog, having a full muzzle and a long, tapering tail. There is some debate whether the White English terrier, the Black and Tan terrier, the Fox terrier or some combination thereof were used. These dogs began to find their way into America as early as 1870 where they became known as pit dog, pit bull terrier, later American bull terrier, and still later as Yankee terrier.They were imported primarily, but not exclusively, for pit fighting.

The American Staffordshire terrier was the product of 19th century interbreeding between bulldogs and terriers that produced the "bull-and-terrier dog", "Half and Half", and at times "pit dog" or "pit bullterrier," the last named becoming the "Staffordshire bull terrier" in England. The bulldog of that time differed from the modern Bulldog, having a full muzzle and a long, tapering tail. There is some debate whether the White English terrier, the Black and Tan terrier, the Fox terrier or some combination thereof were used. These dogs began to find their way into America as early as 1870 where they became known as pit dog, pit bull terrier, later American bull terrier, and still later as Yankee terrier.They were imported primarily, but not exclusively, for pit fighting.

A limited number of studies have been performed on the number of human deaths due to bite trauma caused by dogs, and have generally surveyed news media stories for reports of dog bite-related fatalities. This methodology is subject to several potential sources of error: some fatal attacks may not have been reported; a study might not find all of the relevant news reports; and the potential for misidentification of dog breeds, although courts in the United States and Canada have ruled that expert identification, when using published breed standards, is sufficient for the enforcement of breed-specific legislation. It is possible to distinguish dogs by breed using DNA testing,but test results for any one dog can vary widely depending upon the laboratory that performs the test and the number of purebred dog breeds in the laboratory's DNA database.

There is no evidence for the existence of a physiological "locking mechanism" in the teeth or jaw structure of normal pit bull-type dogs,[33] although a dog's jaws can be locked in a closed position by surgically correctable jaw abnormalities.Despite the lack of a physiological "jaw locking" mechanism, pit bull-type dogs often exhibit "bite, hold, and shake" behavior and refuse to release when biting; methods to force pit bull-type dogs to release their grip include breaking an ammonia ampule and holding it up to the dog's nose, or using a "break stick" to lever the dog's jaws open if it bites a person or animal.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) published in 2000 a study on dog bite-related fatalities (DBRF) that covered the years 1979–1998. The study found reports of 238 people killed by dogs over the 24-year period, of which "pit bull terrier" or mixes thereof were reportedly responsible for killing 76, or about 32 percent, of the people killed by dogs in the attacks identified in the study. The breed with the next-highest number of attributed fatalities was the Rottweiler and mixes thereof, with 44 fatalities or about 18 percent of the study-identified fatalities. In aggregate, pit bulls, Rottweilers, and mixes thereof were involved in about 50% of the fatalities identified over the 20-year period covered by the study, and for 67% of the DBRF reported in the final two years studied (1997–1998), concluding

"It is extremely unlikely that they [pit bull-type dogs and Rottweilers] accounted for anywhere near 60% of dogs in the United States during that same period and, thus, there appears to be a breed-specific problem with fatalities."[8]
The report's authors went on to say:
"Although the fatality data are concerning, one must broaden the context to consider both fatal and nonfatal bites when deciding on a course of action. ...[A] 36% increase in medically attended bites from 1986 to 1994 draws attention to the need for an effective response, including dog bite prevention programs. Because fatal bites constitute less than 0.00001% of all dog bites annually, fatal bites have remained relatively constant over time, whereas nonfatal bites have been increasing, and fatal bites are rare at the usual political level where bite regulations are promulgated and enforced, we believe that fatal bites should not be the primary factor driving public policy regarding dog bite prevention."
The report's authors suggested that "generic non–breed-specific, dangerous dog laws can be enacted that place primary responsibility for a dog's behavior on the owner, regardless of the dog's breed. In particular, targeting chronically irresponsible dog owners may be effective."

The latest CDC "Dog Bite: Fact Sheet" includes a disclaimer regarding this study, saying that
"it does not identify specific breeds that are most likely to bite or kill, and thus is not appropriate for policy-making decisions related to the topic. Each year, 4.7 million Americans are bitten by dogs. These bites result in approximately 16 fatalities; about 0.0002 percent of the total number of people bitten. These relatively few fatalities offer the only available information about breeds involved in dog bites. There is currently no accurate way to identify the number of dogs of a particular breed, and consequently no measure to determine which breeds are more likely to bite or kill."

An electronic search of newspaper articles by Dr. Malathi Raghavan, DVM, PhD, found that pit bull terriers were responsible for 1 of 28 (3.6%) dog bite-related fatalities reported in Canada from 1990 through 2007.

A large number of jurisdictions have enacted breed-specific legislation (BSL) in response to a number of well-publicized incidents involving pit bull-type dogs, and some government organizations such as the United States Army[40] and Marine Corps have taken administrative action as well. These actions range from outright bans on the possession of pit bull-type dogs to restrictions and conditions on pit bull ownership, and often establish a legal presumption that a pit bull-type dog is prima facie a legally "dangerous" or "vicious" dog. In response, some state-level governments in the United States have prohibited or restricted the ability of municipal governments within those states to enact breed-specific legislation, though these prohibitions on breed-specific legislation do not affect military installations located within these states.
It is now generally settled in case law that jurisdictions in the United States and Canada have the right to enact breed-specific legislation; however, the appropriateness and effectiveness of breed-specific legislation in preventing dog bite fatalities is disputed.One point of view is that pit bulls are a public safety issue that merits actions such as banning ownership, mandatory spay/neuter for all pit bulls, mandatory microchip implants and liability insurance, or prohibiting people convicted of a felony from owning pit bulls.Another point of view is that comprehensive "dog bite" legislation, coupled with better consumer education and legally mandating responsible pet keeping practices, is a better solution to the problem of dangerous dogs than breed-specific legislation.

A third point of view is that breed-specific legislation should not ban breeds entirely but should strictly regulate the conditions under which specific breeds could be owned, e.g., forbidding certain classes of individuals from owning them, specifying public areas from which they would be prohibited, and establishing conditions, such as requiring a dog to wear a muzzle, for taking dogs from specific breeds into public places. Finally, some governments, such as in Australia, have forbidden the import of specific breeds and are requiring the spay/neuter of all existing dogs of these breeds in an attempt to slowly eliminate the population through natural attrition.

In May 2010, Lennox, a bulldog lab mix, was removed from his home in Belfast, Northern Ireland. The United Kingdom has a ban on pitbull type dogs, and after Lennox displayed protective behaviors when strangers entered his home, the dog warden determined Lennox was a pitbull type dog and would be removed from the home and euthanized. Lennox's family has made legal appeals in an attempt to stay his execution. A DNA test proved that Lennox was actually a bulldog lab mix, not a pitbull, but the test has not been allowed to be submitted to the court as evidence. Professional dog trainers and animal behaviorists Victoria Stillwell and Mic Martin have spoken on behalf of Lennox, noting that his behavior is typical of any dog protecting their home.

Dog owners in the United States can be held legally liable for injuries inflicted or caused by their dogs. In general, owners are considered liable if they were unreasonably careless in handling or restraining the dog, or if they knew beforehand that the dog had a tendency to cause injury (e.g., bite); however, dog owners are automatically considered liable if local laws hold an owner strictly liable for all damage caused by their dog, regardless of carelessness or foreknowledge of a dog's tendencies. Homeowners and renters insurance policies typically provide liability coverage from US$100,000–300,000 for injuries inflicted by dogs;[54] however, some insurance companies limit their exposure to dog bite liability claims by putting restrictions on dog owners that they insure. These restrictions include refusing to cover dog bites under the insurance policy; increasing insurance rates for homeowners with specific breeds; requiring owners of specific breeds to take special training or have their dogs pass the American Kennel Club Canine Good Citizen test; requiring owners to restrict their dogs with muzzles, chains, or enclosures; and refusing to write policies for homeowners or renters who have specific breeds of dogs. In Ohio, which has declared all pit bull-type dogs to be legally "vicious", the cost of special liability insurance that covers only the damage inflicted by a pit bull-type dog can exceed US$575 per year.

Owners of rental properties may also be held liable if they knew an aggressive dog was living on their property and they did nothing to ensure the safety of other tenants at the property; as a result, many rental properties forbid pit bull-type dogs and any other breeds if the rental property's insurance will not cover damage inflicted by that type of dog. The dog breeds most often targeted by insurance companies include pit bull-type dogs, Rottweilers, German Shepherd Dogs, Doberman Pinschers, Akitas (Akita Inu and American Akita), and Chows.

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"Beulah red" is the name of the red marble that gives the Colorado State Capitol its distinctive splendor. Cutting, polishing, and installing the marble in the Capitol took six years, from 1894 to 1900. All of the "Beulah red" marble in the world went into the Capitol. It cannot be replaced, at any price.

Florissant Fossil Beds National Monument near Cripple Creek is a lesson in history set in the one-time shadow of the Guffey Volcano. The volcano erupted millions of years ago, creating fossils and leaving the valley filled with petrified trees.

John Henry "Doc" Holliday's brief and tumultuous existence led him to Glenwood Springs where he succumbed to tuberculosis and died at the Hotel Glenwood on November 8, 1887.

Abundant nesting and migrating birds and other native animals provide a "world-class" watchable wildlife experience. Bald eagles and other raptors, sandhill cranes, shore birds and water birds can be seen seasonally at San Luis Lakes near Alamosa.

Colorado is the only state in history, to turn down the Olympics. In 1976 the Winter Olympics were planned to be held in Denver. 62% of all state Voters choose at almost the last minute not to host the Olympics, because of the cost, pollution and population boom it would have on the State Of Colorado, and the City of Denver.