RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Media The Avengers

Chile has weird comics in Highlights.

Whoa....that could work. That's an uncanny resemblance to the comics version. Speaking of comics,I totally dug what Byrne did with the Vision both visually and as a character...but when Vizh got his Mirror Mirror's body with the classic colors but updated look,I thought that was sooooo cool-looking.Just some fanboy rambling there.

Third week for Avengers at #1 with a $55 million take at the box office.Battleship debuted at half that total. Cumulative total worldwide for Avengers ia around $1.18 billion. Hollar!!

Didja hear me?

I certainly did.

So you think there's a chance for a sequel?

"The truth is...Phil Coulson is dead. He died in 1955, shortly after helping to found SHIELD." - Nick Fury, Avengers 2

TONY STARK: "Wait--what are you saying? I've been talking to a ghost this whole time?"

NICK FURY: "Sort of. It all begins with a man named Phineas Horton."

CAP: "Horton? I've heard of hi--"

STARK: "P.T. Horton. You're talking about Doctor P.T. Horton, the father of robotics."

BANNER: "Yeah...yeah, I remember reading about him. He pioneered some of the first works in biochemistry."

FURY: "He did a lot more than that, gentlemen. A lot more. There was an idea....to create an organization that would monitor beyond borders. Beyond cultures. Beyond governments. A strategic-clandestine thinktank of the world's greatest minds, as well as it's greatest heroes, intent on making sure no other 'Reich' would ever rise again. The best of the best from every military agency on the planet. You know this group as SHIELD."

STARK: "Yeah, Yeah, I've heard the enlistment speech before. You're saying that Horton was involved with SHIELD."

FURY: "With SHIELD. With your father."

STARK (rolling eyes) : "Yeah, I'd be more surprised if there's something my father wasn't involved in..."

FURY: "Your father was an impressive man, Mr. Stark. He changed the course of human history through his ideas alone. You're obvious living proof of that."

STARK: "What's your point?"

FURY: "Howard Stark was a founder of SHIELD. As was Dr. Phineas Horton. AND...the best damn patriot I've ever known. No offense, Captain."

CAP: "Coulson."

FURY: "Coulson."

BANNER: "I'm sorry...I'm not used to this whole cloak-and-dagger stuff. I'm not following...you're saying that Phil Coulson was not only alive in the 50's, but helped found SHIELD? The same guy that Loki killed?"

FURY: "The same man, yes. But, not the same guy."

CAP: (looking around the room) "Wow. I finally don't feel like I'm the most lost in the room at any moment."

STARK: "Oh I'm getting this. What Nick's dancing around. You did it, didn't you?"

FURY stares at him silently.

STARK: "You perfected Horton's research. Who was it? Pym? Richards? You figured out the puzzle to Horton's L.M.D."

FURY: "It was called 'The Torch Project'...."

Saw the movie again this weekend. Still want to make fuck to it. Good times.

Oh, I also decided I want Power Man & Iron Fist and/or Dr. Strange in the next Iron Man film. That is all.

I would kill for an awesome Cage/Fist buddy-flick.

Your Tool obsession is tearing these boards apart!

THIS
IS
NECESSARY

Let the rabbits wear glasses!!!

My preferred climax of the film would be Cage/Fist and Strange battling Mandarin while Iron Man and War Machine have to take down Ultimo. Hijinks ensue. Buddy flick spins out of this.

Iron Fist will be played by Jackie Chan, while Cage will be played by Chris Tucker!

Chuck Norris can do both roles

If there's a 'mainstream' superhero film that Quentin Tarantino was born to direct, it would be a 70s style "Power Man and Iron Fist."

But who will direct it first so that he can copy it?

And which innocent song from my parents youth will he use during the ass rape/murder scene?

Will the ass rape be between Cage and Fist? Because that's what black guys do to asians. Rape in the ass.

That's a tough one. On one hand, 'Alias' established that Luke likes to put it up the pooper. On the other hand, his partner IS called 'Iron Fist'.

Cage is black, so his penis is probably as big as an asian dude's fist.

Why do people seem to think this? The scene in question shows her iin the doggie position. I don't know what type of boring missionary sex you're stuck with, but I love fucking a girl in that position. It ain't just asshole back there, you know...

once you go in the back, you never go back.

Doggie is best unless a girl is flexible enough to bend her legs over her head during missionary.

Is it that true doogie style requires a trained monkey and a bowl of custard?

I prefer 2 bowls, but yeah.

Snarf is probably lurking, taking frantic notes.

he only writes 3/4th of the instructions

That's because that's when he realizes....it'll never happen.

"I'M ALWAYS ANGRY!!" - Snarf, waiting but nothing happens. Ever.

Then he gets eated by Chitauri flying worm thing..

i see'd the avengers! and i liked it! so now i'll talk about it!

it was not, i repeat, NOT the make-fuck-happy perfection fest that i was promised. it was, however, really very fun. with "fun" being a very key word.

while i'm obviously nintendo-biased, batman begins and dark knight are definitively better movies. better acting, better pacing, better plot, yadda yadda. but i wouldn't call either one of them a "fun" movie, if that makes any sense. i'm not dying to rewatch the film immediately after the credits roll. i'm just smoke-a-cigarette and hit-the-lights satisfied.

i found avengers to be a different adventure, with a mediocre plot, some good acting and some bad acting, some pretty slow parts, but some pretty awesomely fast parts. and, most differently, i did feel i could watch it again and again right away. that factor made avengers much more of a "superhero" film to me than the batflicks, which are just entrenching dark operas. and, really, i wanted a superhero film!

the strong parts:

1) seeing super heroes fight. awesome. so very, very awesome. the closest prior to this was... what, the two robots fighting in iron man 2? which was poo. avengers had iron man vs. thor, thor vs. cap, thor vs. hulk (geez, thor is a dick), black widow vs. hawkeye, and [a teaser of] iron man vs. cap. that's a lot of pretty big moments crammed into 2.5 hours - none of which were the final scene. i remember seeing one the first mortal kombat movie in theaters and having the same "whoa!" type reaction; just thinking how cool it was to see all the non-stop, who-cares-about-story fights. this one point outweighs any of the badpoints, enhances all the other good points, and is worth the price of (re)admission.

2) the hulk. the best parts of the film. hulk3 character was great, the cg model never looked better, and finally giving the guy the "just go and fuck everything up" opportunity has been long over due. through in his dismissal of loki, reviving iron man, the iron man "save", and... well, pretty much total dominance of both heroes and villains in the movie.

3) RDJ. RDJ is better than iron man / tony stark. he's beyond well-suited for the role; he makes the character better than the character deserves to be.

4) sam jackson. honestly, i was expecting his nick fury to be mother fucking waaay over the mother fucking top. but i thought he played the character as cool and collected as he deserved.


the boo parts:

1) hawkeye. seriously, what the fuck. premise-wise, he's already the silliest character of the group. a super soldier, a robot-man, a monster, a god, a hot chick with big thingies and... an archer. you're a shit, get out of here. oh, but wait, lets pile on! in the first 20 seconds, you're defeated by the bad guy, made to turn on your whole team, and then beat up by a girl. congrats, you're a dick.

2) loki. i just don't find him intimidating. i can see accepting the role as just part of the cog, so's they could introduce and focus on the rest of the team - and to that extent, he filled the job. but otherwise... meh. even in comics, i hate when one character's villain is somehow powerful enough to take on 10 more characters. how come the guy who always defeats him can't do it this time? why is he dragging his baggage into everyone else's problems? why did loki spend half the time captured? why did he go to germany? why is he such a tool?

3) stan lee's cameo. i actually like the stan lee moments in marvel films, but i thought this one was lame. was i supposed to enjoy the irony of him saying all these things he created couldn't be heroes in new york...? cuz i didn't. this was his chance to mark out!

4) captain america. i think evans is decent in the role, but the character is just not good. its a pale version of millar's ultimates cap. there's no toughness or militant kick-your-assness about him. his suit is also a bit too super heroey when compared to the rest of the group, and the universe they've provided. and, for whatever reason (and this was true in the cap film, as well) all the special effects that have him jumping higher or running faster just seem not well done. like, somehow, it looks more realistic to have the thunder god fly to the top of the chrysler building than to have this soldier leap over two cars.

Hawkeye got the short end of the plot. But, then, someone had to. And since Scarlett cost so much money to get, you've got to give her something to do. Thus, Hawkeye presented as a human SHIELD agent who just happens to be better using a bow than a gun. That last point is about as bothersome, for me, as a guy who instantly gains 4000lbs of green mass muscle. It's a comic book. I'll let him have the archery, if they just give him a better role in the script next movie.

And, yes, archers are always badasses. Fuck you.



You're not human. I'm the straightest man you know and even I wanted to fuck Tom Hiddleston. But, as with Hawkeye, Loki didn't get a lot of meat to work with. And, a sympathetic character in THOR's solo movie works. A straight-up villain takes some of the depth of the character. But, I think he's easily as good as Michael Fassbender is as Magneto. So...fuck you.



Man. That's a little nitpicky even for me. But, I mean, whatevs. The Lee got his cameo check and gets the blowjobs. It's his world. You just paid $12 to sit in it. Fuck you.



I.....agree about the outfit. I'd have preferred to see the awesome WWII helmet outfit from his solo movie. That would have emphasized to me a man-out-of-time more visually than his sulking.

BUT...and I mean Sir Mix-a-Lot style....Chris Evan's character is spot-on as Steve Rogers. He's not supposed to be impressive. He's not supposed to be "flash" and "cool". He's not supposed to be the American-40's-primate that Millar parodies in ULTIMATES (which I personally always found insulting and completely missing the point of the character). He's Steve Rogers. The underdog that protects the weak. His ideology is that of the classic American Dream, versus the modern "Oohh Wolverine!" shit. Leave my other boyfriend alone. Fuck you.

Pro don't forget that Rob is gay.

i like how you saw all the negatives and ignored all the positives! you wear your shill fanboyism with pride (baited bouncing laughy face ...but only because you don't wear your shill fanboyism with pride)



why? and, if there's a "must", why make it one of the heroes whom you're trying to sell action figures and happy meal toys of?



this point, for me, is much worse in a world where a guy instantly gains 4000lbs of green mass muscle. the guy has a box of like 25 arrows. on his back. that he runs and does flips with. while fighting legions of mythological creatures. he was as helpful as any of the cops on the ground.



he was poo in avengers. which is the movie i saw.



there's only one movie-based magneto.



yar. i just wanted him to have more.



he's spot on as the steve rogers i hate. the milk-grin poster boy of 1950s TV. not the "holy fuck, i've never seen the 50s! i was too busy being frozen after killing mother fuckers in the face with my boot for months at a time" world war II veteran.

he is supposed to be impressive.

if his portrayal is supposed to be the other one, well then great job.