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See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man...
Dum Gai
Small Horse...
Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach?...
Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table...
Ai Bang Mai Ni
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6. How do you confuse a Chilean miner?
Show him two shovels and ask him to take his pick.
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5. Why did the Chilean miner stay in Chile, instead of moving to the Pacific Northwest?
He didn't like the idea of a place called Ore-gone. (Via Tanner.)
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4. I wouldn't want to be a Chilean miner …
…It's such a boring job. (Via Tanner.)
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3. The Chilean miners were great …
…but I liked them better when they were underground.
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2. What do you get when you throw a piano down a Chilean mine?
A flat minor.
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1. Did you hear about the Chilean miner who got fired?
His boss thought he was the pits. (Via Scott.)
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See they have started to bring up the Chilean miners? Juan by Juan
- Those Chilean miners have gone so commercial. I preferred it when they were still underground
-
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- After a long time trapped in terrible conditions and fearing no one cared at all, those brave souls will soon be home and their ordeal will be over... only one day left of the Commonwealth Games.
- The Chilean miners are coming out.. Well, they have been surrounded by just men all this time.
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- Apparently the first Chilean miner came out and asked "Has Rooney scored yet?"
- Those poor Chilean miners... Caught between a rock and a hard place.
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Well done to the Chilean miners! The last time I came up on a capsule was at the Ministry of Sound in 1992
- The first task for the Chilean miners after their release is to visit Anfield - to advise Roy Hodgson on how to get out of a bloody big hole before Christmas
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"I feel bad for the Chilean miners. They were down there in the dark so long. I mean, my God, it's like the Tea Party." —David Letterman
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"Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late." —David Letterman
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"A Greek billionaire is giving a million dollars to a man that ran naked in front of President Obama in Philadelphia. Obama called the stunt 'highly immature' while Biden called it 'totally worth it.'" —Jimmy Fallon
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"Vice President Joe Biden said that the Democrats up for election aren't running on their accomplishments because they're too hard to explain. So basically he's saying either voters are too stupid to understand or the Democrats are too stupid to explain it. You know what's even harder to explain? Why the Democrats are letting Joe Biden talk with the election just a couple weeks away." —Jay Leno
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"President Obama met with students in the Oval Office who have started their own businesses. Or, as those students are known on campus, 'weed dealers.'" —Jimmy Fallon
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"You know that anti-gay candidate Carl Paladino running for governor? He had this horrible anti-gay thing the other day. It turns out he owns two buildings that house gay night clubs. So I guess when it comes to making money, Mr. Anti-Gay's attitude is 'Don't ask, don't tell.'" —Jay Leno
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"New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino's pit bull, Duke, bit another dog during a campaign stop this week. People who were there said he was growling, foaming at the mouth, and completely out of control. And so was his pit bull." —Jimmy Fallon
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"Americans love Chilean miners. I haven't seen so much hoopla about an endless procession emerging from a scary hole since the Octomom." —Bill Maher
"One guy had four women waiting for him. There was the wife he never divorced, then there was the woman he lives with, then there was his current girlfriend and then the baby mama. He is now known as the Tiger Woods of mining." —Bill Maher, on one of the Chilean miners
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"I can't wait to see the debate between Ryan and Joe Biden. Biden is said to be already trying out different strategies. So far the one that Obama likes is where Biden pretends to have food poisoning and they cancel the debate." –Craig Ferguson
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"You can think outside the box and pick someone who'll excite people like Sarah Palin or you can play it safe with an honest down-home family man like John Edwards." –Craig Ferguson
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"Working out has given Paul Ryan phenomenal abs. His abs are so in demand that TMZ is offering a bounty for anyone who can get an in-focus shot." –Craig Ferguson
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"The Republican National Convention is in full swing in Tampa. Speeches are being made. Hats flown in the air. Everyone gets their own hippie to slap around." –Craig Ferguson
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"Chris Christie's message was Romney will be the guy to tells America the hard truth. Romney is that guy. And I thought, well, wait a minute, Chris, I've got a hard truth for you. How about hopping on the treadmill?" –David Letterman
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"Chris Christie was on stage for 16 minutes before he says Romney's name. He's on the stage for 30 seconds and he mentions Breyer's ice cream." –David Letterman
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"John McCain was at the convention. He just wandered out on stage in his bathrobe." –David Letterman
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"Here's what's great about America. You can now buy waffle-flavored vodka. See, good things are happening under Obama." –David Letterman
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"Chris Christie gave the keynote address. In his speech he said the word 'I' 37 times, 'Romney' 7 times, and 'jobs' only once. And then there was the 622 times he said the word 'ham.'" –Conan O'Brien
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"Yesterday a medical marijuana group officially endorsed President Obama for president. Doesn't really help Obama though, because they were just getting around to endorsing him for 2008." –Conan O'Brien
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"I thought Mitt Romney's wife Ann did a good job at the Republican convention. During her speech, she said after they got married, she and Mitt lived in a basement. It was a 2-room basement on the French Riviera." –Conan O'Brien
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"The White House is now brewing its own beer. Republicans say the White House beer is actually pretty good. Just don't drink the Kool-Aid." –Jay Leno
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"According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama's Twitter followers are fake. They don't even exist. Which is actually a good thing because if they did exist there wouldn't be any jobs for them." –Jay Leno
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"Hurricane Isaac turned out to be not much of a threat to the Republican convention. But to their credit, the Republicans had a contingency plan. If the hurricane did hit hard, delegates were instructed to evacuate to Mitt Romney's tax shelter." –Jay Leno
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"Did you all watch the Republican convention last night? It's good to see scripted television finally making a comeback." –Jay Leno
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"Ann Romney spoke last night. I thought she was quite eloquent. Analysts say her role was to show that Mitt has a tender side. And then the Romney family dog gave the rebuttal." –Jay Leno
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''What a day for the tea party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down, but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally.'' —Bill Maher
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''Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell said recently that Hollywood needs to re-evaluate what they're doing because movies these days are all filled with gay sex and extramarital affairs. And I thought, 'Have fun in Congress then.'' —Craig Ferguson
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''You know this Tea Party candidate, Christine O'Donnell, is causing a lot of controversy with her kind of unorthodox views. She's come out against masturbation. You know what that means? She's out of touch with those voters who are in touch with themselves.'' —Jay Leno
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"The Democratic Convention is $27 million in debt. They had to cancel the kick-off event at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. A speedway is the perfect place for the Democratic Convention. You go around in circles, turn left every few seconds, and you end up right where you started." –Jay Leno
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"It was just announced that most of the speakers at this year’s Democratic National Convention will be women. But it’s going to be annoying when they stop speaking, but won’t tell you why." –Jimmy Fallon
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