A drunk stumbled into a podiatrist's office (Foot specialist), mistaking it for a whorehouse. The nurse asked him his name, then told him to go behind the screen and stick it out. So, naturally, the drunk weaved over the screen, dropped his pants and stuck his penis through the screen. The nurse walked over, shrieked and dropped her tray of instruments. "That's not a foot!" she screamed. The drunk replied, "Sshorry, lady! I didn't know there was a minimum."
Three hookers are comparing notes about their customers from the night before. "I entertained a cowboy last night", says the first. "How did you know he was a cowboy?", asks the second. "Well, he wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and kept both the hat and the boots on all the time we were together." "Sounds like a cowboy, all right." the others say. "I entertained a lawyer," announces the second. "I could tell because he wore a three piece suit and packed a briefcase. He wore the vest of the suit and hung on to the briefcase all the time." They agree he sounded like a lawyer. "I had a dirt farmer for a client," comments the third. "How could you possibly know he was a dirt farmer?" she is asked. "First he complained it was too dry, then he whined it was too wet, then he asked if he could pay me in the fall."
