RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The Revenge of Frank Burns.

6. Parental abductions

In the case of parental abductions, the parents are usually involved in a custody battle. Children are almost never harmed in these abductions, and according to studies, the vast majority of them are returned to the rightful parent within a week.

7. The outcome

When children are kidnapped, statistics reveal that over 40% of the incidents end with the death of the child.

8. Who is the kidnapper?

53% of non-family abductions are committed by people known to the victim, according to NISMART (National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway and Throwaway Children – an American organisation). A study of theirs also found that three-quarters of non-family abductions are committed by men. These men often had brief contact with the child, such as delivering something to the house, or doing minor repairs.


9. Locations

71% of non-family abductions occurred in outside areas, such as a wood, a park or in the street, according to NISMART. Very few abductions take place from school grounds or shopping centres.

10. The usual suspect

The average age of a male abductor is 27, and he is usually unemployed, working in a low-skilled job, living alone, or with his parents, according to a study conducted by OJJDP (the American Justice Department's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention).



11. Run-away or abducted?

The vast majority of children who are reported missing have run away, or there has been miscommunication with the parents about where they should be.

12. Girls more than boys

About two-thirds of stranger abductions involve female children with an average age of 11.

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white tv, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21 year old chick.

Now I have a two million dollar home, a $60,000 car, a king size bed and a 65 inch plasma screen tv, but I'm sleeping with a 65 year old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 21 year old chick, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white tv.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crises!

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/about/a/aa040615.htm


MYTH: Beer is less intoxicating than other types of alcoholic beverage.

FACT: One 12-ounce can of beer, one 4-ounce glass of wine or one normal mixed drink or cocktail are all equally intoxicating.

MYTH: Switching between beer, wine, and liquor will make you drunker.

FACT: Mixing types of drinks may make you sicker by upsetting your stomach, but not more intoxicated. Alcohol is alcohol.

MYTH: Cold Showers, fresh air or hot coffee help sober a person.

FACT: Only time will remove alcohol from the system. It takes the body approximately one hour to eliminate the alcohol in one drink. An old saying goes, "give a drunk a cup of coffee and all you have is a wide-awake drunk.

MYTH: Eating a big meal before you drink will keep you sober.

FACT: Drinking on a full stomach will only delay the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream, not prevent it. Eating before you drink is not a defense against getting drunk.

MYTH: Everyone reacts to alcohol in the same way.

FACT: Many factors affect a person's reaction to alcohol — body weight, metabolism, gender, body chemistry, and many others

http://newyork.grubstreet.com/2011/06/sloshed_time_to_buck_up_on_you.html


The darker the beer, the warmer it should be served.

The truth: BASICALLY TRUE. But it's not a clear spectrum. Famous beer writer (and a poor guy who must have endured a hundred jokes a day about his name) Michael Jackson laid out a basic system where the darker you go, the warmer you serve the beer. The problem is that there are far more styles of beer than there are on the list.

A glass's shape can affect the flavor of beer.

Where I first heard it: Plenty of fancy breweries, especially those Belgians, have a specific glass from which to drink their beer. Duvel leads the way on this — it is actually kind of difficult to buy Duvel without also getting a new glass. I went years actually serving my guests exclusively from Duvel glassware.

The truth: SADLY TRUE. Glassware is one of those things you just want to use to throw drinks back in snobs faces. But dammit if they aren’t right. The foam created by pouring a beer acts can trap science-y stuff from the beer that helps bring out its flavor, and that would otherwise evaporate. And so a glass that promotes a healthy foam head may enhance the retention of this science-y stuff.

The darker the beer, the heavier it is.

The truth: NOT TRUE. Dark-hued beer can be "light" and light hued beer can be "heavy." Anyone who has had any Dogfish Head beer knows this to be true — a few sips of some rich, syrupy craft-brewed IPA and you will swear off eating for a while. I myself confirmed this by comparing Guinness (dark) with a beer from Stone Brewery called IPA Cali-Belgique (not totally light in color, but much lighter than the Guinness). Wine Allergic Girlfriend and I both agreed: The Stone beer was like drinking a slow-motion film; the Guinness felt like water. The can of Guinness I drank clocked in at 125 calories, ten grams of carbohydrates and 4.2 percent alcohol. The Stone Cali-Belgique? 6.2 percent, 25 grams of carbs and a sort of incredible 276 calories.

J

Bottles are better than cans when it comes to storing beer.


The truth: NOT TRUE. Cans are just as good as bottles — and in some cases even better. Sunlight affects beer, similar to how it affects everything else on this planet except for pure evil. Left too long in light, beer can become "skunked," something I don’t remember ever tasting, but I probably have experienced it and was just too afraid to admit it. Skunked beer is the result of a molecule in hops — isohumulones — that breaks down in light, and the broken-down version of isohumulones resembles the stink molecule release by skunks. Glass bottles let in light; cans do not.

As for a fear that cans might impart a metallic flavor — also NOT TRUE for most modern cans. There is a coating apparently that keeps the beer from touching the inner aluminum. (Although that does seem like saying: “To keep this itchy wool off my skin, I have coated my skin in bug spray!”) To test this, I did a blind taste test of two Brooklyn Brewery lagers, one from the can, one from the bottle. W.A.G. poured each into a glass while I wasn’t looking. I tried the beer from each glass and couldn’t tell the difference really.

Myth 3: Guinness has some mysterious health-granting properties.

The truth: SORT OF TRUE. At least the first part is; the breast-feeding thing is disputed. According to the BBC, “A pint of the black stuff a day may work as well as a low dose aspirin to prevent heart clots that raise the risk of heart attacks.” But while “[p]regnant women and nursing mothers were at one stage advised to drink Guinness, the present advice is against this. If you do some irresponsible Google research, you will find lots of varying opinions, of course — something about how much iron is in Guinness. I say: Mariah Carey did it. You’re probably cool.

Myth 4: Trappist beers are made by monks.


The truth: MOSTLY TRUE. Trappist monks are for real, and they do indeed make beer (and have been since the seventeenth century). All Trappist beers fit within the Belgian style — the kind of beer with enough alcohol to make you think that weird monk haircut is a good idea. To be clear, however, just because you buy a Trappist beer doesn't mean you are buying something with a long history. There are currently seven Trappist monasteries authorized to use the Trappist name. The oldest, Westmalle, was founded in 1836; the newest, Achel, was founded in 1998. And until recently, anyone with a shady marketing degree could slap the term "Trappist" on their beer (in a move taken from all those California winemakers who labeled their wine "Burgundy"). The monks sued in 1962 and now retain exclusive rights to the name.

But, and sorry to ruin the image, the monks themselves don’t necessarily make the beer. Orval — another one of the seven — has 32 secular workers. Trappist implies that the beer was made "under control" of the monks, but it doesn’t mean guys who look like Friar Tuck are tending some ancient brewing equipment.

Beer is vegetarian.

The truth: NOT ALWAYS TRUE. Next time you are with some friends drinking some beers, say: “So, do you guys know what isinglass is?” When they say no, you follow up: “Oh, well, it’s just a substance obtained from the dried swim bladders of fish used to filter beer!” And then CHUG your beer and belch and say: “Does that smell like fish?” So, if you follow a strict vegetarian or vegan diet (is there a non-strict vegan diet?), you’ll want to investigate whether your favorite brewery uses isinglass or some other weird animal product in their purification process. Barnivore.com has an exhaustive and well-documented list.

Ales are superior to lagers in terms of flavor and quality.

The truth: NOT TRUE. The same people who taught me the difference between lagers and ales were also the first ones to praise the great German lagers and introduce the concept of a session beer (basically a fancy name for “the beer you drank in high school”). As with most things, you can make shitty versions and you can make great versions.

To test this at home with W.A.G., I bought the fanciest lager I could find, a dark one from Rogue Brewery called Chatoe, and the cheesiest-looking ale I could find, Wachusett Country Ale. You may remember how I feel about labels. Well, the Wachuett Country Ale fits into the “nostalgic small town America” label. Seriously, it looks like ranch dressing.

A guy goes over to his buddy's house, rings the bell, but his buddy's wife answers. "Hi is Tony home?" "No, he went to the store." "Well, you mind if I wait?" "No, come in." They sit down and the friend says "You know, Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell, It's worth one hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws 100 bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful. I must see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together." Nora thinks about this and says what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. She feels bad for him, so she pushes her breasts into his face for a moment and she let's him have a few squeezes. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and he leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know your weird friend Chris came over." Tony thinks about this for a second and asks, "Well, ... did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emot...ying-i-love-you

ways to show love


1. Nothing says "I love you" more than laughing at your partner's bad jokes, especially if you've heard them a hundred times before. Making your loved one laugh is also a wonderful way of displaying your feelings.

2. Find that special little something that your partner lost or said he or she wanted but could never find. Also, giving your partner a nicely framed photograph of the two of you is a very touching gesture.

3. Do the manly-man or girly-girl thing. Many men say ILY by washing their mate's car and filling it with gas. Taking your man to a game, concert, car show or movie that he really likes is a great way to show that you want to be there for him..

4. Help your partner heal a childhood hurt or loss. Perhaps the most powerful thing you can do is to just listen to his or her story about what happened and follow it up with a big hug.

5. Show up at a business event as the loving spouse. This is all about giving. Staying in a supportive role and praising your mate's efforts to everyone you talk to will make your partner feel uplifted and loved.

6. When you're watching TV, snuggle up close with the one you love. Sitting across the room from each other in separate chairs may feel comfortable to your body, but it isn't fulfilling to your heart.

7. Bedtime cuddling helps sustain a long-term loving connection. If you both need your own space for sleeping, that's fine. Just touch each other for fifteen minutes before you go to your side of the bed. By the way, those who engage in this activity also have healthier sex lives.

8. Go above and beyond. Making a grand gesture every now and then is a wonderful way to show your love. Doing the extraordinary as a couple will help you create cherished memories.

9. Doing something for your mate that he or she hates to do speaks volumes. We all have things in our lives that we dislike doing and when your partner gets the spider out of the bathtub or makes a midnight run so the kids can have milk in the morning, it really says ILY.

10. Being extra considerate on a daily basis works wonders. Saying "please" and "thank you," opening doors, helping your partner put on a coat, or putting a little love note in his or her pocket are a few of the little things that make a big difference.

Perhaps after showing (or being shown) your love in these ways, you will find it easier to speak the words. Just keep in mind that most of us want to hear them

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/19-ways-to-break-up-with-someone/

ways to break up with someone


1. Via text message, because email is way too personal and emotional for you.


2. Throwing a brick through their window with “SORRY” written on it in blood.

3. Not doing anything, and waiting for them to just find out that you’re sleeping with someone else through the grapevine, like a true gentleman and scholar.

4. Hooking up with their sibling.

5. Mass email, so as to leave no stone unturned.

6. Skywriting. And make sure to put the little heart with the arrow through it at the end.