RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The Revenge of Frank Burns.

A View to a Kill
Bond investigates millionaire industrialist Max Zorin, who is trying to corner the world market in microchips. He establishes that Zorin was previously trained and financed by the KGB, but has now gone rogue. Zorin unveils to a group of investors his plan to destroy Silicon Valley which will give him a monopoly in the manufacturing of microchips.

Bond uncovers Zorin's plan is to detonate explosives beneath the lakes along the Hayward and San Andreas faults, which will cause them to flood. A larger bomb is also on site in the mine to destroy a "geological lock" that prevents the two faults from moving at the same time. Bond destroys the bombs, and subsequently kills Zorin.

The Living Daylights
Bond aids the defection of KGB officer General Georgi Koskov, by wounding a female KGB sniper, Kara Milovy, a cellist. During his debriefing Koskov alleges KGB's old policy of Smert Spionam, meaning Death to Spies, has been revived by General Leonid Pushkin, the new head of the KGB. Koskov is subsequently abducted from the safe-house and Bond is ordered to kill Pushkin.
Bond tracks down Milovy and establishes she is Koskov's girlfriend and that the defection was staged. He subsequently finds out that Koskov is a friend of the arms dealer Brad Whitaker. After meeting Pushkin and faking his assassination by Bond, Bond investigates a scheme by Koskov and Whitaker to embezzle KGB funds and use them to purchase diamonds, which they then use to purchase drugs. After Koskov purchases the drugs, Bond destroys them. Koskov is subsequently arrested by Pushkin, while Bond kills Whitaker.

Licence to Kill
Bond aids Felix Leiter in the capture of drugs lord Franz Sanchez; Sanchez escapes and maims Leiter, killing his wife. Bond swears revenge, but is ordered to return to duty by M. Bond refuses, and M revokes his licence to kill, causing Bond to become a rogue agent; although officially stripped of his status, he is unofficially given help by Q.

Bond journeys to Sanchez's home in the Republic of Isthmus and is taken onto Sanchez's staff, where he manages to raise Sanchez's suspicions against a number of his employees. When Bond is taken to Sanchez's main base and drugs refinery, he is recognised by one of Sanchez's men and captured. He escapes, destroying the refinery in the process, and pursues Sanchez, killing him.

GoldenEye
In 1986, Bond and Alec Trevelyan—agent 006—infiltrate an illicit Soviet chemical weapons facility and plant explosive charges. Trevelyan is shot, but Bond escapes from the facility as it explodes. Nine years later, Bond witnesses the theft by criminal organisation Janus of a prototype Eurocopter Tiger helicopter that can withstand an electromagnetic pulse. Janus uses the helicopter to steal the control disk for the dual GoldenEye satellite weapons, using the GoldenEye to destroy the complex with an electromagnetic pulse; there is one survivor of the attack, a programmer, Natalya Simonova.

Bond investigates the attack and travels to Russia where he locates Simonova and learns that Trevelyan, who had faked his own death, was the head of Janus. Simonova tracks computer traffic to Cuba and she and Bond travel there and locate Trevelyan, who reveals his plan to steal money from the Bank of England before erasing all of its financial records with the GoldenEye, concealing the theft and destroying Britain's economy. Bond and Simonova destroy the satellite facility, killing Trevelyan and Grishenko in the process.

Tomorrow Never Dies
Bond investigates the sinking of a British warship in Chinese waters, the theft of one of the ship's cruise missiles—and the shooting down of a Chinese fighter plane. He uncovers a link to media mogul Elliot Carver which suggests that Carver had purchased a GPS encoder on the black market.

Bond encounters Chinese agent Wai Lin, who is also investigating the matter and the two agree to work together. They discover that Carver had used the GPS encoder to push the British ship off course and into Chinese waters in order to incite a war for ratings. With the British fleet on their way to China, Bond and Wai Lin find Carver's stealth ship, board it and prevent the firing of a British cruise missile at Beijing. They blow a hole in the ship, exposing it to radar, leading to its sinking averting war between Britain and China.

The World Is Not Enough
Bond recovers money for Sir Robert King, a British oil tycoon and friend of M, but the money is booby-trapped and kills King shortly afterwards. Bond traces the money to Renard, a KGB agent-turned-terrorist, who had previously kidnapped King's daughter Elektra. MI6 believes that Renard is targeting Elektra King a second time and Bond is assigned to protect her: the pair are subsequently attacked.

Bond visits Valentin Zukovsky and is informed that Elektra's head of security, Davidov, is in league with Renard: Bond kills Davidov and follows the trail to a Russian ICBM base in Kazakhstan. Posing as a Russian nuclear scientist, Bond meets American nuclear physicist Christmas Jones. The two witness Renard stealing the GPS locator card and a half quantity of weapons-grade plutonium from a bomb and set off an explosion, from which Bond and Jones escape. Elektra kidnaps M after she thinks Bond had been killed and Bond establishes that Elektra intends to create a nuclear explosion in a submarine in Istanbul in order to increase the value of her own oil pipeline. Bond frees M, kills Elektra and then disarms the bomb on the submarine and kills Renard.

Die Another Day
Bond investigates North Korean Colonel Tan-Sun Moon, who is illegally trading African conflict diamonds for weaponry. Moon is apparently killed and Bond is captured and tortured for 14 months, after which he is exchanged for Zao, Moon's assistant. Despite being suspended on his return, he decides to complete his mission and tracks down Zao to a gene therapy clinic, where patients can have their appearances altered through DNA restructuring. Zao escapes, but the trail leads to British billionaire Gustav Graves.

Graves unveils a mirror satellite, "Icarus", which is able to focus solar energy on a small area and provide year-round sunshine for crop development. Bond discovers Moon has also undergone the gene therapy and has assumed the identity of Graves. Bond then exposes Moon's plan: to use the Icarus to cut a path through the Korean Demilitarized Zone with concentrated sunlight, allowing North Korean troops to invade South Korea and reunite the countries through force. Bond disables the Icarus controls, kills Moon and stops the invasion.

Casino Royale
A reboot of the series, with Bond winning his 00 status in the pre-credits sequence. Bond is instructed to investigate the funding of terrorism. He tracks down and kills a bomb-maker and takes his mobile phone. Searching through the phone, Bond discovers a text message which he traces to Alex Dimitrios, and then on to financer Le Chiffre. Le Chiffre's investments involve short-selling stock in successful companies and then engineering terrorist attacks to sink their share prices. Bond foils Le Chiffre's plan to destroy the prototype Skyfleet airliner, which forces Le Chiffre to set up a high-stakes poker tournament at the Casino Royale to recoup his fortune. Bond is instructed to beat le Chiffre and is aided by a member of HM Treasury, Vesper Lynd.

Bond beats Le Chiffre at the poker table, but Lynd is kidnapped by Le Chiffre after the game, as is Bond, who is captured whilst pursuing them; Lynd is ransomed for the money and Bond is tortured. Le Chiffre is subsequently killed by Mr. White, a liaison between Le Chiffre and a number of his clients. Bond learns that his poker winnings were never repaid to the Treasury, which Lynd as supposed to have done, and Bond establishes that she was a double agent. Bond pursues her and is attacked by members of White's organisation: he survives, but White takes the money and Lynd is killed. Bond subsequently finds and captures White.

Quantum of Solace
Along with M, Bond interrogates Mr. White regarding his organisation, Quantum. M's bodyguard, Mitchell, a double agent, attacks M, enabling White to escape. Bond traces the organisation to Haiti and a connection to environmentalist Dominic Greene.

Bond uncovers a plot between Greene and an exiled Bolivian General, Medrano, to put Medrano in power in Bolivia while Quantum are given a monopoly to run the water supply to the country. Bond ascertains Quantum are damming Bolivia's supply of fresh water in order to force the price up. Bond attacks the hotel where Greene and Medrano are finalising their plans and leaves Greene stranded in the desert with only a tin of engine oil to drink. Bond then finds Vesper Lynd's former lover and member of Quantum, Yusef Kabira.

Skyfall
After an operation in Istanbul ends in disaster, Bond is missing and presumed to be dead. In the aftermath, questions are raised over M's ability to run the Secret Service, and she becomes the subject of a government review over her handling of the situation. The service itself is attacked and Bond returns to London, where he establishes a connection with the French mercenary Patrice, and then on to an ex-MI6 operative, Raoul Silva. Silva pursues his vendetta against M, while Bond takes her to his old ancestral home. They are attacked by Silva, but overcome the attackers, although M is mortally wounded in the attack.

A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security.

After waiting in line for quite a long time he arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his identification to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realised he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks.

The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."

He opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair.

She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," as she processes his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have qualified for disability, too."

http://mentalfloss.com/article/32001/10-other-doomsday-predictions-were-not-correct

Doomsday

1. 1284. When the Pope decrees something, people tend to listen. And they did, in 1213, when Pope Innocent III wrote that “the end of this beast is approaching, whose number, according to the Revelation of Saint John, will end in 666 years, of which already nearly 600 have passed."

2. February 20, 1524. German scholar Johannes Stöffler was better at math and astronomy than he was at predicting the apocalypse. His calculations concluded that Noah had the right idea when he built that ark, because a flood of epic proportions was going to engulf Earth on February 20, 1524. People panicked when a light rain did begin to fall on that day, but it amounted to nothing but puddles.

3. Between March 21, 1843, and March 21, 1844. In 1822, Baptist preacher William Miller vaguely stated that he believed the “second coming of Jesus Christ is near, even at the door, even within twenty-one years - on or before 1843,” based on his interpretations of the book of Daniel. As he shared his views, he developed a rather large group of followers, cleverly dubbed “Millerites.” Though reluctant, Miller eventually set a more precise set of dates at the urging of his followers: namely, the 365 days between March 21, 1843, and March 21, 1844.

4. April 18, 1844. Miller based this one on a different Jewish calendar, saying he had miscalculated a bit. Guess what? The world didn’t end. Though Miller’s followers were becoming a tad bit skeptical, he sustained them for a few more months by stating that the rapture had started - they were just experiencing a period of time called “tarrying,” which was kind of like sitting in the waiting room before you go in to see the doctor. Finally, Miller analyzed his calculations one more time, coming up with...

5. October 22, 1844. And that’s when the vast majority of Miller’s followers abandoned him, experiencing “the Great Disappointment.” People were so angry and disappointed that Millerite churches were burned to the ground, some followers were tarred and feathered, and one group was attacked by a mob wielding knives and clubs.

6. 1910, with the appearance of Halley’s Comet. French astronomer Camille Flammarion predicted that a seven-tailed comet was coming to Earth, and gas from the comet’s tail would “impregnate” the Earth’s atmosphere, setting it and all of its inhabitants ablaze in a fiery explosion.

7. 1981 (-ish). Back in 1978, pastor Chuck Smith determined that “the generation of 1948 is the last generation,” but also admitted that he “could be wrong.” Turns out he was.

8. March 10, 1982. That was the day the Jupiter Effect was going to happen - when major planets would align on one side of the sun, causing nature to go nuts. A massive earthquake at the San Andreas fault was going to totally obliterate L.A. When the date came and went with nothing but high tides being a teeny bit higher than usual, the man who generated all of the hype, Dr. John Gribbin, published a book called The Jupiter Effect Reconsidered. By 1999, Gribbin was renouncing his theory entirely, saying “I’m sorry I ever had anything to do with it.”

9. September 11, 12 or 13, 1988. Edgar Whisenant, a former NASA engineer, was so sure about his calculated date that he wrote a book called 88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will be in 1988 and boldly stated, “Only if the Bible is in error am I wrong.” When he was, in fact, wrong, he published The final shout: Rapture Report 1989, followed by the less-certain 23 reasons why a pre-tribulation rapture looks like it will occur on Rosh-Hashanah 1993 and And now the earth's destruction by fire, nuclear bomb fire.

10. October 28, 1992. A Korean group known as Mission for the Coming Days was so adamant in their belief that the world would end just before Halloween in 1992 that they spent money to warn people in the U.S. via billboards, posters and other advertising.

http://www.imdb.com/list/XDqlKLgnB0A/

Disaster and Doomsday movies

2012 (2009)
5.8/10
An epic adventure about a global cataclysm that brings an end to the world and tells of the heroic struggle of the survivors. (158 mins.)
Director: Roland Emmerich
Stars: John Cusack, Thandie Newton, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
6.3/10
Jack Hall, paleoclimatologist for NORAD, must make a daring trek across America to reach his son, trapped in the cross-hairs of a sudden international storm which plunges the planet into a new Ice Age. (124 mins.)

28 Weeks Later (2007)
7.0/10
Six months after the rage virus was inflicted on the population of Great Britain, the US Army helps to secure a small area of London for the survivors to repopulate and start again. But not everything goes to plan. (100 mins.)
Director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
Stars: Jeremy Renner, Rose Byrne, Robert Carlyle, Harold Perrineau

War of the Worlds (2005)
6.5/10
As Earth is invaded by alien tripod fighting machines, one family fights for survival. (116 mins.)
Director: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Tim Robbins, Miranda Otto

I Am Legend (2007)
7.1/10
Years after a plague kills most of humanity and transforms the rest into monsters, the sole survivor in New York City struggles valiantly to find a cure. (101 mins.)
Director: Francis Lawrence
Stars: Will Smith, Alice Braga, Charlie Tahan, Salli Richardson-Whitfield

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
5.4/10
A remake of the 1951 classic sci-fi film about an alien visitor and his giant robot counterpart who visit Earth. (104 mins.)
Director: Scott Derrickson
Stars: Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates, Jaden Smith

Doomsday (2008)
6.0/10
A futuristic action thriller where a team of people work to prevent a disaster threatening the future of the human race. (108 mins.)
Director: Neil Marshall
Stars: Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, Alexander Siddig, Caryn Peterson

The Road (2009)
7.3/10
A post-apocalyptic tale of a man and his son trying to survive by any means possible. (111 mins.)
Director: John Hillcoat
Stars: Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Robert Duvall

The Book of Eli (2010)
6.8/10
A post-apocalyptic tale, in which a lone man fights his way across America in order to protect a sacred book that holds the secrets to saving humankind. (118 mins.)
Director: The Hughes Brothers, The Hughes Brothers
Stars: Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis, Ray Stevenson, Gary Oldman

The Horde (2009)
5.8/10
An end of the world battle between gangsters, cops and zombies. (90 mins.)
Director: Yannick Dahan, Benjamin Rocher
Stars: Claude Perron, Jean-Pierre Martins, Eriq Ebouaney, Aurélien Recoing

Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
6.2/10
Survivors of the Raccoon City catastrophe travel across the Nevada desert, hoping to make it to Alaska. Alice joins the caravan and their fight against the evil Umbrella Corp. (94 mins.)
Director: Russell Mulcahy
Stars: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Oded Fehr, Iain Glen

A Boy wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. But she was refusing all the time. So he went to see his friend and asked him what to do about it. His friend had a brilliant plan. He said: "Next time you meet her under the tree behind your home. I will be up in the tree waiting for you. If she refuses again you ask God in the heaven whether you can have sex with her or not. And I will give the right answer to you and her."

The days went by and one Saturday afternoon he met his girlfriend again. They both went to that tree and he asked her to have sex. She refused. So he said to her: "And, my dear, if I ask God in heaven, would you follow his advise?" "Yes, I would" she said. So he asked: "Father in heaven can I have sex with my girlfriend?" And the voice from heaven said: "OK my friend, go ahead!" And so they had sex the first time.

But the boy asked his friend to do him this favour every week, and he did. But the last time when he asked God in heaven, the father answered: "My dear friend below, step aside and let your father in heaven have a go!"

http://www.holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/april.htm

Plan Your Epitaph Day

When : Always April 6th

Plan Your Epitaph Day is a day is a little bit morbid for my liking. My first thought was who would create this day? And, why? I don't want to think about it, let alone plan it.

Sorry Charlie Day


When : Always on April 6th

Have you ever been rejected? For anything? Sure you have! We all have. Sorry Charlie Day is for all of us who have been spurned, and yet somehow survived it.

Take a minute today and reflect upon a past dejection. Then, smile with he realization that "_ _ it happens....to all of us!"

Caramel Popcorn Day

When : Always April 7th

Caramel Popcorn Day is an opportunity to enjoy the combination of two great treats - Caramel and Popcorn. This tasty, chewy treat is hard to beat. Caramel popcorn is readily found in popcorn tins and specialty shops.

No Housework Day


When : Always April 7th

No Housework Day is your chance to do anything, except housework. Better still, have someone else do the chores for a day. Housework is a daily, seemingly endless and repetitive groups of tasks. It often goes unrecognized and worst of all..... taken for granted. But, watch out! If the dishes aren't done, or there's no clean towels, somebody takes note.

All is Ours Day

When : Always April 8th

All is Ours Day is is bound to be a spectacular day for...... us.

Think of the concept. Imagine the possibilities. The creator of this day was absolutely brilliant. What a great day this will be.

The creator of this day was absolutely brilliant. Let's dissect the meaning and intent of this great day. We will do so by examining the title of this day, word for word. It begins with the word "all". For such a little word, it's all-inclusive. From a possessive standpoint, therefore, we are talking about anything and everything we want.. The verb "is" is sort, sweet and definite. It leaves no room for doubt or question.

Name Yourself Day

When : Always April 9th

Name Yourself Day is your chance to give yourself whatever name you'd like...for a day. If you like your name, then change your name for just today. If you don't like your name, use today to select a new name for life!

Winston Churchill Day

When : Always April 9th

Winston Churchill Day celebrates the day he was made an honorary US citizen. On this day in 1963, Winston Churchill became the very first person to become an honorary citizen. He was given this honor posthumously. There have only been 6 people (two are a married couple who received it jointly) to be accorded this stature.