RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The Revenge of Frank Burns.

E: Elf
(Originally thought of as a race of divine or semi-divine beings endowed with magical powers, which they use both for the benefit and the injury of mankind. In pre-Christian mythology, they appear to have been divided into light elves and dark elves. In early modern and modern folklore, they were known to live underground in hills or rocks, or in wells and springs.)

Fae
(Able to see the future, or touched in the head. In popular culture the fey, if recognized at all, have been reduced to small, winged, humanoid, female creatures that are frequently portrayed in the nude.)

Griffins
(A legendary creature with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. As the lion was traditionally considered the king of the beasts and the eagle was the king of the birds, the griffin was thought to be an especially powerful and majestic creature. Griffins are normally known for guarding treasure.)

Harpy
(Mainly winged death-spirits, best known for constantly stealing all food from Phineas, they could also bring life.)

I: Itcuintlipotzotli
(Better known as the Chupacabra – strange Mexican creature the size of a small dog. It has hairless skin, a wolfish head, no neck, a short tail, and a large hump down the length of its back.)

Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can't see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen... Nothing. One of them says, "Man, that's a deep hole!"

Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. The pause and listen intently... They hear a sound, but it is coming from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with it head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast!

The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say, "Boy that was close! We'd better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!".

So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across this farmer working near it. The men again put their heads together and figure that the goat belongs to the farmer and the decide to tell him what happened.

"Hey Mr. Farmer. Do you happen to own a goat?", one of the men asked.

The farmer replies, "Yeah, why do you ask?"

The men then tell what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat.

The farmer said, "Well boys, I don't think that was my goat. You see, my goat is really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast. Besides, I have him tied to a big, old cinder block."

Kampe
(A monstrous centaurine creature who, from the waist up, had the body of a serpentine-haired woman. Below she had the body of a scaly dragon with a thousand vipers for feet and sprouting from her waist the heads of fifty fearsome beasts–lions, boars and other wild animals. Dark wings rose from her shoulders and above her head she lifted a furious scorpion’s tail.)

Lamia
(Lamia was once the beautiful Queen of Lybia and was seduced by the great king of the Greek gods himself – Zeus. His jealous wife, Hera, reacted by killing Lamia’s children and turning her into a hateful monster – a woman above the waist and a serpent below.)

Ouroboros
(A self-eating, circular being as the first living thing in the universe—an immortal, perfectly constructed animal. The living being had no need of eyes when there was nothing remaining outside him to be seen; nor of ears when there was nothing to be heard; and there was no surrounding atmosphere to be breathed.)

Q: Quanlier
(In Cherokee legend, a Quanlier has the head of a wolf, the torso of a man, the arms of a dog and the legs of a jackal. It feeds on human flesh and most small animals. Living in a small area there are very few, in fact there may be only one. It’s a close relation to a werewolf, only it can’t change into a human and when it’s killed it doesn’t turn into a human. It can run at speeds of up to 300 MPH.)

R: Roc
(A legendary gigantic bird from Arabian legends. These birds were so big that they could carry off elephants for food. The Roc is featured in various stories of the “Thousand and One Nights” and they have also featured in historical texts of Marco Polo on his travels.)

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife told him... "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

http://facts.randomhistory.com/facts-about-urine.html

urine facts

The word “urine” is from the Latin urina, which is from the variant of the Proto-Indo-European root *awer, meaning “to moisten, flow.”e

Some women in ancient Rome drank turpentine (which can be poisonous) because it made their urine smell like roses.a

In ancient Egypt and Ireland, women stood to urinate. It was the men who sat or squatted.a

In many Muslim countries, both men and women sit or squat to pee. They think standing up to urinate is something dogs, not humans, do.

In ancient China, both men and women stood up to urinate. Chinese noblemen would urinate into hollow canes so the urine would flow far way from their bodies.

Approximately 200 years ago, European women urinated standing up. They wore long dresses and no underpants.a

Each year in Canada, about 225 men fall overboard and drown as a consequence of standing up in a boat to urinate overboard.

Ancient Roman spies used urine as invisible ink

Ancient Roman spies used urine as invisible ink to write secrets between the lines of their official documents, hence the saying: “read between the lines.” The messages appeared only when heated.

The word “piss” is an onomatopoetic term for urine and has been used since before the 14th century.

American pioneers treated earaches by pouring warm urine in their ears and then plugging them with cloth.

It would take a dozen mice one entire day to fill a tablespoon with urine.

A horse such as a Clydesdale can urinate more than 4.5 gallons per day.

A battle weary American soldier boarded a crowded train in in London during the early days of post-WWII, only to discover he was unable to find a place to sit. As he walked the length of the train, he noticed a small white dog curled up on one of the seats. A large, well dressed woman sat in the seat next to the dog. The man hovered near the seat, hoping the woman would take the hint, but she pointedly ignored him.

"Excuse me, Ma'am," the soldier finally spoke, "Is this your dog? Would you mind holding it on your lap so that I may sit down?"

The woman raised her icy gaze to the young man and said in a haughty British accent, "oh! You Americans. You are so rude. Fluffy is in that seat, and i see no reason why she should give up her comfort for you."

The exhausted soldier nodded, picked up the small dog ... leaned over ... opened the window of the moving train and tossed the dog out. The woman gaped and spluttered in horrified indignation, and the man sitting across from her lowered his newspaper.

"You Americans", he said, "You drive on the wrong side of the road ... you eat with the wrong fork ... and you just threw the wrong bitch out the window."

An elephant can urinate more than 13 gallons per day. It’s easier to measure this on a male elephant, as female elephants often poop and urinate at the same time.


A fin whale’s bladder can hold 5½ gallons of urine.

Tortoises in the Mojave Desert store up to 1/3 of their body weight in urine. When they need water, the water in their urine flows back into their bodies while the waste remains and expels

Camels do not store water in their humps. When they need to, they keep most of the water in their bodies from turning into urine. Consequently, camel urine is twice as salty as seawater. When they do urinate, they urinate all over their legs, which helps them keep cool. As soon as they find water, they drink up to 25 gallons within 10 minutes.

Cave rats make urine trails throughout the deep, dark caverns of the caves, which tell the rats how to find their way in the dark.

Many animals use urine to convey social or sexual status
The Billy goat urinates all over his belly, chest, and beard to attract a mate. Similarly, a male porcupine sprays his urine in different directions—and when he finds a mate, he urinates all over her.a

The South American degu, a small rodent, uses urine to mark its passageways. Its urine reflects ultraviolet light, which the degu can see.

Siberian chipmunks cover themselves in snake urine whenever they can to camouflage their own scent.

When two male hippos fight to protect their territory, they will turn so they are bottom to bottom. They then cover each other with a urine/excrement combination, while twirling their tails like propellers to spread it around. Hippos are retromingent, which means they are able to urinate backwards.a

Male lobster’s bladders are in their heads, and when they fight, they squirt each other in the face with urine.

Hunters will often douse themselves and their dogs with fake raccoon pee to hide their scent from prey.

Urine was used by drug companies to make medicine—for example, urokinese, which helped dissolved the blood clots that caused heart attacks

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, who was still barely alive.

They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened.

"Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth. I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!'

He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, Barack Obama is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!'"

"We were standing there shaking hands in the middle of the road when the truck hit us."

In 1815, Captain James Riley and his crew of the Commerce drank camel urine to stay alive after they were shipwrecked off the coast of Africa and had to cross the Sahara Desert to reach home.

The average child urinates six times a day
A child’s bladder can hold an ounce or more of urine for every year of age. Adult bladders can hold up to 2½ cups of urine for two to five hours. They feel the urge to urinate five to seven times a day, whenever they collect a cup’s worth.

The American pilgrims made a type of soap called “chamber lye” by letting urine sit in a barrel and then mixing it with ashes.a

The Inuit cleaned themselves in steam baths made by urinating on hot rocks in enclosed tents. In parts of India and East Africa where water is scarce or polluted, people still bathe in cow urine.

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian in a wrestling meet. They were nervous because he had a famous move called "The Russian Pretzel," which often landed his opponents in the hospital.

When the first American caught a glimpse of him, he said, "Coach, he's HUGE. I'm scared."

The coach replied, "You da MAN! Just go in there and tear him up!"

The guy started the match quite confidently, but after about a minute, the Russian picked him up, slammed him into the famous pretzel, and sent him to the emergency room.

The same thing happened to the second wrestler, so the third guy was petrified. He told his coach he was backing out.

The coach said, "C'mon, son. You're our last chance!"

The kid started out pretty well, but when the Russian started to twist him into the pretzel, the coach covered his eyes. When he opened them, he saw the referee holding the American's hand up in victory. The coach, baffled, asked the kid how he did it.

"Well Coach, when that damn Russian picked me up and started twisting my body, it HURT! So when I saw two red things dangling there, I bit them... HARD! You'd be surprised what you can do when you bite your own balls!"

http://www.travelingmyself.com/2013/04/25/34-interesting-facts-about-the-philippines/

Facts about the Philippines

1. The Philippines ranks 12th among the most populous countries in the world, the population of this country is about 90 million people

The Philippines has more than 200 volcanoes, although only some of them are active.

The flag of the Philippines – the only flag in the world, where colors can be reversed: in wartime, the upper band is red, the bottom – of the blue, and in times of peace – on the contrary.

4. In the Philippine cave complex Tabone (Tabon Cave Complex) were found fossils of Homo sapiens. According to studies, this area was inhabited by about fifty thousand years ago

Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.

Interesting facts about the Philippines: As part of the Banaue Rice Terraces of the Philippines Cordilleras, the Batad rice terraces are thus also a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Known as the “Eighth Wonder of the World” by the Philippines, they are one of the most well-known attractions of northern Philippines

There are Rice Terraces on the slopes of the Philippine Cordilleras, whose history is two thousand years old. They are considered a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

The first European who visit the Philippines is a Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan.

About 80% of the total population are Catholics.

A man owned a small farm in Maine . The Maine State Wage & Hour Department, claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to -- the half-wit," says the agent.

"That would be me," replied the farmer.

Filipinos have a different ethnic background, such as Malay, Chinese, Spanish, American, etc.

The country got its name in honor of the Spanish King Philip II.

In the period from 1521 to 1898 years, the Philippines was a Spanish colony. After, the archipelago became the property of the United States.


The Philippines was the first country in South-East Asia, which gained independence after the Second World War, in 1946.