RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The Revenge of Frank Burns.

The Philippine area covers about 300,000 square kilometers, which corresponds approximately to the area of ​​Italy.


Filipinos are the world’s largest network of diasporas, which covers more than 11 million people.

A visiting professor at Texas A&M University was making a presentation on the supernatural to a few hundred people in an auditorium.

To get a sense of his audience, he asks, "How many people here actually believe in ghosts?" About 90 people raise their hands.

"Well, that's really interesting. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, how many of you think you've seen a ghost?" This time, about 40 people raise their hands.

"Fascinating. I'm really glad to see that you folks are taking this topic seriously Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" About 15 people raise their hands.

"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Only 3 people raise their hands. "Wow, that's fantastic."

"Let me ask just one more question. Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student near the back of the auditorium raises his hand. The professor is amazed. He takes off his glasses, steps back and says, "You know, son, in all the years I've been lecturing on this topic, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You really have to come up here and tell us all about your experience."

The kid grins and nods OK, and begins to walk forward. It's pretty obvious that he's a redneck as he makes his way to the podium. The professor motions him to the podium, and says, "OK. Tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

The student looks surprised, and replies, "Ghost?!! Damn . . from back there, I thought you said 'goats!'"

http://www.diamondjimracing.com/funfacts.html

drag racing facts


… that the nitromethane-powered engines of NHRA Top Fuel dragsters and Funny Cars produce approximately 8,000 horsepower, about 43 times that of the average street car?

… that one cylinder of the eight cylinders of a Top Fuel dragster or a Funny Car produces 750 horsepower, equaling the entire horsepower output of a NASCAR engine?

… that the gasoline-powered engines of NHRA Pro Stock cars produce about 1,200 horsepower, about eight times that of the average street car?

… that an NHRA Top Fuel dragster accelerates from 0 to 100 mph in less than .8-second, almost 11 seconds quicker than it takes a production Porsche 911 Turbo to reach the same speed?

A biology major was taking a cell biology course. The task of the day was examining epitheleal cheek cells under a microscope. They had to scrape the inside of their mouths with a toothpick and make a slide from it and record the different types of cells that were found.

One girl in the class was having some trouble identifying some cells. She called the professor over to ask him.

After a moment or two of peering in her scope, he looked up and said in a loud voice, "Those are sperm cells."

an NHRA Funny Car is slowed by a reverse force more than seven times that of gravity when both parachutes deploy simultaneously?

NHRA Top Fuel dragsters and Funny Cars consume between four and five gallons of fuel during a quarter-mile run, which is equivalent to between 16 and 20 gallons per mile?

NHRA Top Fuel dragsters and Funny Cars use between 10 and 12 gallons of fuel for a complete pass, including the burnout, backup to the starting line, and quarter-mile run?

NHRA Top Fuel dragsters and Funny Cars travel the length of more than four football fields in less than five seconds?

The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk."

What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

1. No need to boil.

2. Cats can't steal it.

3. Available whenever necessary.

So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:


4. Available in attractive containers.

.

… that the nitromethane used to power the engines of NHRA Top Fuel dragsters and Funny Cars costs about $30 per gallon?

… that it's desirable for an NHRA Top Fuel dragster to race with its front wheels inches off the ground for about the first 200 feet of the run? This ensures proper weight transfer to the rear wheels, a crucial part of a good launch and quick run

… that it takes just 15/100ths of a second for all 8,000 horsepower of an NHRA Top Fuel dragster engine to reach the rear wheels?

… that the 17-inch rear tires used on NHRA Top Fuel dragsters and Funny Cars wear out after four to six runs, or about two miles? Some brands of passenger-car tires are guaranteed for 80,000 miles.

… that depending on size and angle, the large rear wing on an NHRA Top Fuel dragster develops between 4,000 and 8,000 pounds of downforce?

An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "You can write with your other hand."

http://www.endtimesbroadcast.com/bpantichrist.html

about the Anti Christ


FACTS ABOUT THE ANTICHRIST

20. He will not have the desire of women. Dan. 11:37

21. His god will be the god of power. Dan. 11:38

http://www.endtimesbroadcast.com/bpantichrist.html

FACTS ABOUT THE ANTICHRIST

18.He will do everything according to his own selfish will. Dan. 11:36
19. He will not regard the God of his fathers. Dan. 11:37

http://www.endtimesbroadcast.com/bpantichrist.html

FACTS ABOUT THE ANTICHRIST

16. He will profane the temple. Matt. 24:15
17. He will be energized by satan himself. Rev. 13:2

http://www.endtimesbroadcast.com/bpantichrist.html

FACTS ABOUT THE ANTICHRIST

He will be the first creature thrown into the lake of fire. Rev. 19:20

He will be a master of deceit. 2 Thess. 2:10

If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic professor.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

http://www.endtimesbroadcast.com/bpantichrist.html

FACTS ABOUT THE ANTICHRIST



He will destroy the false religious system so that he may rule unhindered. Rev. 17:16-17

He will set himself up as God. Dan. 11:36-37; 2 Thess. 2:4, 11; Rev. 13:5

He will briefly rule over all nations. Ps. 2; Dan. 11:36; Rev. 13:16

He will be utterly crushed by the Lord Jesus Christ at the Battle of Armageddon.Rev. 19

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

http://www.endtimesbroadcast.com/bpantichrist.html

FACTS ABOUT THE ANTICHRIST

He will attempt to destroy all of Israel. Rev. 12

He will destroy the false religious system so that he may rule unhindered. Rev. 17:16-17

He will set himself up as God. Dan. 11:36-37; 2 Thess. 2:4, 11; Rev. 13:5

He will briefly rule over all nations. Ps. 2; Dan. 11:36; Rev. 13:16

An elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn't have long to live. So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate.

1. His Doctor
2. His Priest
3. His Lawyer

Well, today I found out I don't have long to live. So I have summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life, and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you and envelope with $50,000 dollars inside.

When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave.

After the man passed on, the 3 people happened to run into each other. The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed me on lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested."

The Priest said, "I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. Its all going to a good cause. I did, however,
throw the other $25,000 in the grave."

Well the Lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing! "I am surprised at you two taking advantage of him like that."

"I wrote a check for the full amount and threw it all in!!!"

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/09/08...g-and-cheating/

Crap Excuses for Lying and Cheating


It wasn’t cheating because in my mind we were already broken up.

I didn’t know you cared that much, you could’ve fooled me.

I was confused about what I wanted.

I’m sorry you got mad.

I figured it was don’t ask, don’t tell. Yeah you asked, but I never did, I’d rather not know, but that’s just me.

I didn’t mean relationship the way you’re defining it.

My ex was a really important part of my life for a long time, I’ll always have some feelings, it’s natural.

I didn’t even know you guys were good friends.

I felt super awkward, I didn’t know what to do.

We slept in the same bed but we didn’t do anything, I swear. I just needed a place to crash, that’s it.

I worry that you’re too good for me, and that you’ll dump me. I guess I got defensive and kinda freaked out.

You never cheated on me? I find that hard to believe.

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.

Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and am just looking for a girl with big tits.

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/09/08...g-and-cheating/

Crap Excuses for Lying and Cheating


My last relationship was really messed up. I admit I’m still dealing with that.


I am so a good person! I just screwed up. Everybody screws up sometimes, or are you perfect?

I don’t think I ever said that. I was just looking to have fun, so I don’t know why I would have said I wanted to date you.


You’re going abroad next semester, I guess I was trying to adapt to that. It’s going to be really hard for me when you leave.