RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The Revenge of Frank Burns.

. Windsor Castle. Located just outside of London, it is the oldest and largest occupied castle in the world. It has been the official residence of the British sovereign for over 900 years and the amazing State Apartments are a favourite with London tourists.

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh... Immediately she had the vacation tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh... immediately he turned ninety!

http://www.londonpass.com/things-to-do-in-london/top-10-things-to-do-in-london.html#.UkeZYiijIqY

Hampton Court Palace was the home of King Henry VIII. Not only is this one of the most breathtaking and legendary of all London palaces, it also boasts stunning gardens, a world famous hedge maze and more than one ghost.

Kensington Palace was home to the late Princess Diana and birthplace of Queen Victoria. This stunning palace can be found in the lovely Kensington Gardens surrounding the royal residence.

ZSL London Zoo is a great attraction in London for all the family. The zoo features the popular Gorilla Kingdom and Clore Rainforest Lookout which both get you closer than ever to primates of Africa and South America.

The London Bridge Experience is an attraction set within the arches of this historical bridge. Featuring real life actors, stunning special effects and animations, this is unique interactive adventure really does takes you back in time.

Tour of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, an identical reconstruction of the original building which housed Shakespeare’s theatre in London. This open-air playhouse can be found in the banks of the Thames River and features an exhibition dedicated to both the play writer.

Thames River Cruise. The banks of the River Thames are lined up iconic landmarks such as Big Ben, Houses of Parliament, Canary Wharf and many more. Weaving through the heart of London the Thames River Cruise really is the best way to see the city.

It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine.

The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."

The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the snake's striking range. He said, "Okay, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding."

The rattlesnake said, "All right, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes." The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror.

Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable. He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted, "Oh my God, I was riding the mare!"

The hottest places on Earth http://www.care2.com/causes/the-10-hottest-places-in-the-world.html

10. Wadi Halfa, Sudan



Situated in the far north of Sudan, on the shores of Lake Nasser, Wadi Halfa is a point of entry for those coming in from Egypt. The town that exists now is actually the new Wadi Halfa. The original Wadi Halfa was submerged when the Aswan High Dam created Lake Nasser in 1971. At the time, approximately 50,000 inhabitants of the area were forcibly removed from their lands and relocated to the desert, where many died of malaria and other diseases. A few Wadi Halfans, however, remain along the Nile, the river that built their ancestors’ identities as fishermen and river traders, building new settlements several times and finally settling on the current location when the flooding stopped.

Highest recorded temperature – 127 degrees F

Aghajari, Iran
Aghajari is a city in and the capital of Aghajari District, in Behbahan County, Khuzestan Province, Iran. In the 1980s it was actually a bustling hub, with almost 65,000 residents. Thanks to the Iran-Iraq War, however, most of the population fled, leaving behind only about 14,000 (Wikipedia).

Highest recorded temperature - 128 degrees F

Ahvaz, Iran

Ahvaz is built on the banks of the Karun River and is situated in the middle of Iran’s Khūzestān Province. Although it has a population of roughly 1,425,891, it is considered a desert, with long, extremely hot summers that often bring sandstorms and dust storms. In 2011, the World Health Organization ranked Ahvaz as the world’s most air-polluted city.

Highest recorded temperature - 128.3 degrees F

Tirat Zvi, Israel

Tirat Zvi is a religious kibbutz in the Beit She’an Valley, just west of the Jordan River and the Israel-Jordan border. The kibbutz has a population of less than 1,000 people. It operates a meat processing factory, Tiv, and is the largest date grower in Israel, with 18,000 trees.

Highest recorded temperature – 128.7 degrees F

Araouane, Mali

Araouane is a small village in the Malian Sahara, lying just over 150 miles north of Timbuktu on the caravan route to the salt-mining hub of Taoudenni. It contains three mosques although it is only home to about 300 inhabitants

Highest recorded temperature - 130.1 degrees F

Two cowboys walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices.

Suddenly a woman at the table behind them begins to cough weakly. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she's in real distress, and the cowboys turn to look at her.

"Kin ya swaller?" asks one of the cowboys. The woman shakes her head in the negative.

"Kin ya breathe?" asks the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shakes her head No again.

The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt, yanks down her panties, and slowly runs his tongue from the back of her thigh up to the small of her back. This shocks the woman into a violent spasm; the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breathe again.

The cowboy walks back over to the bar and takes a drink of his beer. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Maneuver, but I never seen anybody do it."

http://www.care2.com/causes/the-10-hottest-places-in-the-world.html

Timbuktu, Mali

Timbuktu is the capital of the Timbuktu Region, one of the eight administrative regions of Mali, which sits just north of the River Niger on the southern edge of the Sahara Desert. Like much of Mali, it has endured violence and conflict almost since its settlement, changing hands many times over the centuries. It had a population of 54,453 in the 2009 census.


Highest recorded temperature - 130.1 degrees F

Kebili, Tunisia

Kebili is the capital of the Kebili Governorate, and one of the oldest Oases in Tunisia and North Africa. Kebili holds the earliest hard evidence of human habitation in Tunisia (found near the town) and dates back about 200,000 years (Wikipedia).

Highest recorded temperature - 131 degrees F

Ghadames, Libya

Ghadames is an oasis town in southwestern Libya. With a population of about 10,000 the original part of the town, which is surrounded by a city wall, has been declared a UNESCO World Heritage site.

Highest recorded temperature - 131 degrees F

Al’Aziziya, Libya

Sometimes spelled El Azizia, this city is the capital of the Jafara district in northwestern Libya, situated just southwest of Tripoli. For a while, Aziziya was considered to hold the record for hottest temperature ever recorded on Earth, but that measurement was eventually found to be invalid by the World Meteorological Organization. It is still hotly contested.

Highest recorded temperature – 136.4* degrees F

Death Valley, USA

When the WMO stripped Al’Aziziya of its former record in 2012, it established California’s Death Valley as the hottest place on the planet. Situated within the Mojave Desert, it is the lowest and driest area in North America. The wettest month on record is January 1995 when a scant 2.59 inches of rain fell on Death Valley.

Highest recorded temperature – 134 degrees F

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timbuktu

Timbuktu

Timbuktu is a town in the West African nation of Mali situated 20 km (12 mi) north of the River Niger on the southern edge of the Sahara Desert. The town is the capital of the Timbuktu Region, one of the eight administrative regions of Mali. It had a population of 54,453 in the 2009 census.

Starting out as a seasonal settlement, Timbuktu became a permanent settlement early in the 12th century. After a shift in trading routes, Timbuktu flourished from the trade in salt, gold, ivory and slaves. It became part of the Mali Empire early in the 14th century. In the first half of the 15th century the Tuareg tribes took control of the city for a short period until the expanding Songhai Empire absorbed the city in 1468. A Moroccan army defeated the Songhai in 1591, and made Timbuktu, rather than Gao, their capital.

The invaders established a new ruling class, the arma, who after 1612 became virtually independent of Morocco. However, the golden age of the city was over and it entered a long period of decline. Different tribes governed until the French took over in 1893, a situation that lasted until it became part of the current Republic of Mali in 1960. Presently, Timbuktu is impoverished and suffers from desertification.

In its Golden Age, the town's numerous Islamic scholars and extensive trading network made possible an important book trade: together with the campuses of the Sankore Madrasah, an Islamic university, this established Timbuktu as a scholarly centre in Africa. Several notable historic writers, such as Shabeni and Leo Africanus, have described Timbuktu. These stories fueled speculation in Europe, where the city's reputation shifted from being extremely rich to being mysterious. This reputation overshadows the town itself in modern times, to the point where it is best known in Western culture as an expression for a distant or outlandish place.

On 1 April 2012, one day after the capture of Gao, Timbuktu was captured from the Malian military by the Tuareg rebels of the MNLA and Ansar Dine.[2] Five days later, the MNLA declared the region independent of Mali as the nation of Azawad.[3] The declared political entity was not recognized by any local nations or the international community and it collapsed three months later on 12 July.

On 28 January 2013, French and Malian government troops began retaking Timbuktu from the Islamist rebels.The force of 1,000 French troops with 200 Malian soldiers retook Timbuktu without a fight. The Islamist groups had already fled north a few days earlier, having set fire to the Ahmed Baba Institute, which housed many important manuscripts. The building housing the Ahmed Baba Institute was funded by South Africa, and held 30,000 manuscripts. BBC World Service radio news reported on 29 January 2013 that approximately 28,000 of the manuscripts in the Institute had been removed to safety from the premises before the attack by the Islamist groups, and that the whereabouts of about 2,000 manuscripts remained unknown.It was intended to be a resource for Islamic research.

On 30 March, jihadist rebels infiltrated into Timbuktu just nine days prior to a suicide bombing on a Malian army checkpoint at the international airport killing a soldier. Fighting lasted until 1 April, when French warplanes helped Malian ground forces chase the remaining rebels out of the city center.

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.

He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

"I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"

http://facts.randomhistory.com/halloween-facts.html

halloween facts



Because the movie Halloween (1978) was on such a tight budget, they had to use the cheapest mask they could find for the character Michael Meyers, which turned out to be a William Shatner Star Trek mask. Shatner initially didn’t know the mask was in his likeness, but when he found out years later, he said he was honored.h

The first Jack O’Lanterns were actually made from turnips.


Halloween is the second highest grossing commercial holiday after Christmas.f

The word “witch” comes from the Old English wicce, meaning “wise woman.” In fact, wiccan were highly respected people at one time. According to popular belief, witches held one of their two main meetings, or sabbats, on Halloween night.


An intense and persistent fear of Halloween is called Samhnainophobia Samhainophobia is the fear of Halloween.

Fifty percent of kids prefer to receive chocolate candy for Halloween, compared with 24% who prefer non-chocolate candy and 10% who preferred gum.


The owl is a popular Halloween image. In Medieval Europe, owls were thought to be witches, and to hear an owl's call meant someone was about to die.

The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
"Howdy, stranger..."

"Howdy, Sheriff..."

The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, and stepped up on the walk and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon. "Hold on there, Mister..."

"Sheriff?"

"Did I just see what I think I just saw?"

"Reckon you did, Sheriff...I got me some powerful chapped lips..."

"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked."

Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' em.

http://facts.randomhistory.com/halloween-facts.html

According to Irish legend, Jack O’Lanterns are named after a stingy man named Jack who, because he tricked the devil several times, was forbidden entrance into both heaven and hell. He was condemned to wander the Earth, waving his lantern to lead people away from their paths.g

The largest pumpkin ever measured was grown by Norm Craven, who broke the world record in 1993 with a 836 lb. pumpkin.

Stephen Clarke holds the record for the world’s fastest pumpkin carving time: 24.03 seconds, smashing his previous record of 54.72 seconds. The rules of the competition state that the pumpkin must weigh less than 24 pounds and be carved in a traditional way, which requires at least eyes, nose, ears, and a mouth.


Trick-or-treating evolved from the ancient Celtic tradition of putting out treats and food to placate spirits who roamed the streets at Samhain, a sacred festival that marked the end of the Celtic calendar year.

“Souling” is a medieval Christian precursor to modern-day trick-or-treating. On Hallowmas (November 1), the poor would go door-to-door offering prayers for the dead in exchange for soul cakes.


The first known mention of trick-or-treating in print in North America occurred in 1927 in Blackie, Alberta, Canada

Ok, Stanley is trying to get into a fraternity at the University of Alaska. In order to join he has to drink a pint of moonshine, kill a grizzly bear, and rape an Eskimo woman. So he grabs the pint and guzzles it in 5 seconds, then he wanders off for his next task. 2 hours pass, then he is sighted staggering back to the frat house. His clothes are torn to shreds. "OK, he bellows, "Where's that Eskimo woman I'm supposed to kill?"

http://facts.randomhistory.com/halloween-facts.html

Halloween” is short for “Hallows’ Eve” or “Hallows’ Evening,” which was the evening before All Hallows’ (sanctified or holy) Day or Hallowmas on November 1. In an effort to convert pagans, the Christian church decided that Hallowmas or All Saints’ Day (November 1) and All Souls’ Day (November 2) should assimilate sacred pagan holidays that fell on or around October 31.


Black and orange are typically associated with Halloween. Orange is a symbol of strength and endurance and, along with brown and gold, stands for the harvest and autumn. Black is typically a symbol of death and darkness and acts as a reminder that Halloween once was a festival that marked the boundaries between life and death.

Ireland is typically believed to be the birthplace of Halloween.


With their link to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (a precursor to Halloween) and later to witches, cats have a permanent place in Halloween folklore. During the ancient celebration of Samhain, Druids were said to throw cats into a fire, often in wicker cages, as part of divination proceedings

Scarecrows, a popular Halloween fixture, symbolize the ancient agricultural roots of the holiday.


Halloween has variously been called All Hallows’ Eve, Witches Night, Lamswool, Snap-Apple Night, Samhaim, and Summer’s End.

Halloween was influenced by the ancient Roman festival Pomona, which celebrated the harvest goddess of the same name. Many Halloween customs and games that feature apples (such as bobbing for apples) and nuts date from this time. In fact, in the past, Halloween has been called San-Apple Night and Nutcrack Night.


Scottish girls believed they could see images of their future husband if they hung wet sheets in front of the fire on Halloween. Other girls believed they would see their boyfriend’s faces if they looked into mirrors while walking downstairs at midnight on Halloween