RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The Revenge of Frank Burns.

Darwin Armando Muñoz Retconned member.

MacTaggert student who participated in the first attempt to save the original X-Men. Missing in action until brought out of suspended animation by the mutant energy released on M-Day. The only member of this X-Men incarnation to later rejoin the team.

Last seen in X-Factor.

Powers: Constant reactive evolution.

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.

He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,

"No, I'm your son's teacher."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_X-Men_members


Vulcan Gabriel Summers
Retconned member and brother of Cyclops and Havok.

MacTaggert student who participated in the first attempt to save the original X-Men. MIA until brought out of suspended animation by the M-Day mutant energy release. Attacked the X-Men before leaving earth to attack the Shi'ara Empire and eventually marrying Deathbird and becoming Shi'ar emperor.

Deceased: Killed, along with Black Bolt, when the two battled in War of Kings #6 (2009).

Powers: Capable of manipulating different types of energy on a vast scale, including mutant energies. Can survive in the vacuum of space and can fly.

Nightcrawler Kurt Wagner

Giant-Size X-Men #1 (1975)

Son of Mystique. Former leader of Excalibur and a former Catholic priest.

Deceased: Killed by Bastion in X-Force, vol. 3 #26 (2010).

Powers: Neomorphic physiology grants him a prehensile tail, blue fur, invisibility in shadows, night vision, and wall-crawling. Possesses line-of-sight teleportation.

Wolverine James "Logan" Howlett

Nicknamed, and best known as, Logan.

Arguably the team's most iconic member. Former member of the US Army, Team X, Alpha Flight, Department H, Department K, and the Defenders. Member of the X-Men and the Avengers and leader of the secret X-Force squad.

Current Headmaster of the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning.

Currently seen in Wolverine, Savage Wolverine, Avengers, Uncanny Avengers, Wolverine and the X-Men, and All-New X-Men.

Powers: Healing factor (regeneration of tissue, immunity to virtually all toxins and pathogens, slowed aging process), enhanced senses, and retractable bone claws. Has the indestructible metal adamantium bonded to his skeleton, allowing enhanced physical attributes and sharp adamantium claws

Banshee Sean Cassidy

Former agent of Interpol,

mind-controlled operative of Factor Three, co-headmaster of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, and leader of X-Corps. Father of Siryn. Killed by Vulcan in X-Men: Deadly Genesis #2 (2006). Resurrected by the Apocalypse Twins as a new horseman of death.

Currently seen in Uncanny Avengers.

Powers: Sonic scream, flight, enhanced hearing.

Storm

Ororo Monroe (formerly Iqadi T'Challa-Wakandas)

Second field leader and longtime leader of the team. Has been a continual member of the main team longer than any other, from 1975 until 2000 excluding interim periods. Formerly married to T'Challa, the Black Panther, now divorced. Former member of the Fantastic Four. Current Headmistress of the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning.

Currently seen in Wolverine and the X-Men, All-New X-Men, X-Men, and Uncanny X-Force.

Powers: Weather manipulation (lighting bolts, wind, rain, etc.) and flight by "riding" wind currents.

Two Mexicans are on a bike along U.S. 52 about 15 miles outside of Lafayette, LA. One of the bike's tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Mexicans ask him for a ride. He tells them he has no room in the Trailer as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls.

The Mexicans put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit into the back with their bike, will he take them back into town and he agrees.

They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts the hammer down. Sure enough a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The lady officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies "Mexican eggs."

The Blond Lady Cop obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look in the trailer.

She opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.

She gets on her radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible plus the Swat Team.

The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that requires so many officers.

"I've got a Tractor-Trailer stopped with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it... two have hatched and they've already managed to steal a bicycle."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_X-Men_members

Sunfire Shiro Yoshida

Quit in X-Men, vol. 1 #94 (1975) after only one mission, but remained an ally for years afterward.

Confirmed depowered in New Avengers (2006), but regained his powers when he was transformed into Apocalypse's Horseman Famine. Partially freed from Apocalypse's influence by Mister Sinister.

Currently seen in Uncanny Avengers.

Powers: Generation of nuclear fire, flight by jet propulsion, absorption of and immunity to various kinds of radiation.

Colossus Piotr Nikolaievitch "Peter" Rasputin

Brother of Magik. Longtime romantic interest of Shadowcat. Former member of the Acolytes and Excalibur.

Died while releasing a cure for the Legacy Virus in Uncanny X-Men #390 (2001).

Revealed in Astonishing X-Men, vol. 3 #4 (2004) that Colossus was later restored to life by Ord.

Currently seen in Cable and X-Force.

Powers: Transforms into living organic metal form, granting superhuman strength and near-invulnerability. Can survive without oxygen or sustenance for long periods while in this form

Thunderbird John Proudstar

His younger brother, James Proudstar, a.k.a. Warpath,

is a member of the X-Men.
Deceased: Killed while attempting to stop Count Nefaria in X-Men, vol. 1 #95

(1975).Temporarily resurrected by Eli Bard using a form of the T-O Virus.
Powers: Superhuman strength, speed, and durability.

Sprite/Ariel/Shadowcat Katherine Anne "Kitty" Pryde

X-Men, vol. 1 #138 (1980) as Kitty Pryde Active as Sprite in X-Men, vol. 1 #139

(1980); active as Ariel in Marvel Graphic Novel #5 (1982); active as Shadowcat in Kitty Pryde & Wolverine #5 (1985). Former member of Excalibur. Former

Headmistress of the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning. Currently a teacher at the New Charles Xavier School for Mutants and a member of Cyclops' renegade faction of X-Men.

Currently seen in All-New X-Men and Uncanny X-Men

Powers: Can pass through solid matter ("phasing"), also allowing her to disrupt electronics and walk on air.

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers...

They panhandle on different areas of town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day.

Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos says to Jose "I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?"

Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"

Carlos sign reads: 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support.'

Jose says "No wonder you only get $2-3 dollars."

Carlos says "So what does your sign say?"

Jose shows Carlos his sign... It reads : 'I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico '

http://www.reuseit.com/facts-and-myths/use-and-toss-plastic-bottle-facts.htm

DISPOSABLE BOTTLES

2,480,000 tons of plastic bottles and jars were thrown away in one year (2008).

Tap water is cleaner, cheaper and healthier than store-bought water.

60 billion single-use drink containers were purchased in 2006, and 3 out of 4 were thrown out directly after use.

Plastic bottles are among the most prevalent source of pollution found on our beaches.

Plastic trash absorbs pre-existing organic pollutants like BPA and PCBs.

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife told him... "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/facts-about-vienna-1746.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vienna

Vienna is the capital and largest city of Austria, and one of the nine states of Austria. Vienna is Austria's primary city, with a population of about 1.757 million(2.4 million within the metropolitan area, more than 20% of Austria's population), as well as its cultural, economic, and political centre. It is the 7th-largest city by population within city limits in the European Union. Until the beginning of the 20th century it was the largest German-speaking city in the world, and before the splitting of the Austro-Hungarian Empire in World War I the city had 2 million inhabitants. Today it is the second only to Berlin in German speakers. Vienna is host to many major international organizations, including the United Nations and OPEC. The city lies in the east of Austria and is close to the borders of the Czech Republic, Slovakia, and Hungary. These regions work together in a European Centrope border region. Along with nearby Bratislava, Vienna forms a metropolitan region with 3 million inhabitants

Vienna is situated on the Danube River and is the largest city and the capital of Austria. Not only that, Vienna is also the Federal province of Austria.

It has the 3rd highest quality of living in European Union. People from Vienna are called Viennese.

The major religion of the people is Christianity. T

he major language spoken in Vienna is German. Surprisingly the voting age in Austria is only 16 years old.

Vienna is the only Austrian city-state in Austria, which is a federal republic.

Vienna is divided into 23 districts. The city center in Vienna is a World Heritage Site.

Vienna is known worldwide as the city of music and is home to great music hall with excellent acoustics.

http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/facts-about-vienna-1746.html

Vienna is known worldwide as the city of music and is home to great music hall with excellent acoustics.

Vienna is the last great capital of the Nineteenth Century Ball.

The Museumsquartier, which is one of the largest cultural complexes in the world, is present In Vienna.

World famous classical composers, including Mozart, Beethoven, Strauss, Schubert, and Brahms, have all lived and performed in Vienna.

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?''

"No," the farmer said.

The second beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?''

"No."

The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. ''Hello, my name is Chuck.''

The farmer shot Chuck.

Vienna is considered as a city of cultural heritage. It is been home to various great artists Gustav Klimt, Sigmund Freud, Arthur Schnitzler

Tiergarten Schönbrunn, which is world’s oldest zoological garden, which was founded in 1752, is present in Vienna.

The largest emerald of the world, which is of a whopping 2860 caret, is displayed in the Imperial Treasury in Vienna.

The highest waterfall in Europe is in Kriml Falls, which is there in Vienna. The water falls 1,250 feet.

One of its only kind and one of the oldest Giant Wheel is there in Vienna, which is probably its one of the most familiar attractions. It is situated in a large wooded amusement park called as Prater. It has 15 Gondolas, which offers a scenic view of Vienna.

Europe’s second largest cemetery is situated at Vienna, which is called as Zentralfriedhof, which has a total size of 2.5 square kilometers/one square miles.
Zentralfriedhof also has over 2.5 million tombs, which is almost double than the city’s live population. It also has tombs of some of the most famous personalities of the world such as Beethoven, Brahms, Gluck, Schubert, Schoenberg, and Strauss.

A female peace activist was exploring some caves by the beach when she stumbled upon a very old antique looking lamp bottle. The woman picked up the bottle and proceeded to rub some of the sand off of it. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a genie appeared from the bottle!

The genie just stared at the woman, and vice versa, until the shocked woman excitedly spoke:

"Are you a genie?" she asked.

"Yes." came the response.

"Does this mean I get three wishes?"

"Three wishes is only a fable," said the genie in return. "You only get one wish."

"Only one?"

"Yes. So what do you wish for?"

There was no hesitation from the woman who had dedicated her life to the quest for peace.

"I want peace in the Middle East," she said. " I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and vice-versa. I want it to be the start of world peace and harmony."

The genie thought for a moment...

"Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not that good! I'm sorry, but I'm afraid it can't be done. Please make another wish and please be reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute.

"Well, I've never been able to find the right man for my life," she said. "You know, a man that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, loves kids and is great in bed, gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, cares about the environment, and is faithful. That is what I wish for, Genie... a good man."

The genie thought for a moment, let out a deep sigh and said, "Let me see about that peace in the Middle East.

http://www.jokebuddha.com/Thankful

Thanksgiving

According to a newspaper report, being thankful and gracious may help to extend your life. So thanks to the girl who gave me herpes.

1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed!

2. Be thankful your computer isn't down!

3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn't down!

4. Be thankful you don't have The Good Times virus!

5. Be thankful your server isn't down!