I wish! No, I started getting sick before I got here and this fresh air isn't helping. I miss NYC air. And seriously, next time I want a few days of saunas and massages I'm going someplace where I can have a cheeseburger at the end of the day. And where there is something to do at night. And where alcohol is allowed on the premises. And where I can get cell reception.


Dear, sweet Harley Kwink...I'm madly in love with you. Marry me! We can go to Canadia. Or Boston or something. It'll be grand...You know the cookies are a given. They are ALWAYS a given. You could dump me tomorrow and you'd still get the cookies. Boston..shit, wherever dyke weddings were legalized. And where better to rub their little piggie noses in how bad they suck than right on their doorstep? What are they gonna do? Be jealous of you? Stare furiously at your tah-tahs? Not willingly give you cookies, but instead begrudgingly give you their cookies? Woman, time to wake up to the powers you wield - Uschi