JLA’s mooted alliance with other ‘forum with many names’ moderators was stillborn. It seemed as though only a massive stroke of good fortune could save his invasion plans. Yet at this crucial juncture he was to suffer a further setback from an unlikely source. It was not a military defeat but a legal challenge; one that was to undermine his authority and further diminish him in the eyes of his men.
A few months before announcing his invasion plans JLA had bestowed on himself the title of The Ill Mac in an extravagant coronation witnessed by his followers. However only a few days after the ceremony, three other Incandescent residents, all claiming to be The Ill Mac, sought legal mediation.
Judge Silas Yaundle: “I was given to understand that the title: The Ill Mac implied uniqueness and superiority over all other men. While three of the plaintiffs – each of them a Platonic specimen of the alpha male - could be said to have some legitimate claim on the title, it was clear to me from the beginning of the trial that a simpering, barely human creature such as JLA had no grounds for calling himself The Ill Mac. He was unable to breakdance, his free-styling lacked conviction while his lead flow was far removed from dope. Throughout the trial, the other claimants continuously referred to JLA as ‘bitch’. It was obvious that they regarded him as a subservient individual.
“In my summing up of the case I was able to appropriate some of the street slang used by the claimants much to the amusement and delight of the assembled media.”
