My theory is that I must have committed some horrible sin at some point in my life, 'cause that's the only thing I can think of as to why I am so fuckin' deserving of loneliness and heartbreak. All I ever wanted was to be in love with someone and have that person be in love with me, but apparently that's too much to ask for. I see guys who are pieces of fuckin' shit that have what I have craved my whole fuckin' life; they don't deserve it, but they have it! What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I have to suffer disappointment after dis-a-fuckin-pointment? And people wonder why I smoke! Like I have so fuckin much to look forward to! I have nothing ahead of me but a lifetime of misery and self-loathing! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck!
I wish I was numb inside. I'd rather feel nothing at all than what I'm feeling now.
Happy 30th birthday snarf!
