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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 07:54 PM
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I just had the perfect oppurtunity to take a shot at Pariah's dumbass but NO. I can't take it. When is this retreat going to end? When are we all going to get into the same boat stop pussyfooting around with this "getting in" with the enemy horseshit? When are we going to act like a united front and take it to them? There numbers are low right now and we have the perfect chance to spam the fuck out of their board.

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However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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whomod
Posted: May 27 2008, 08:00 PM
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Who's in charge?

iggy?
Zzap?
Sikk?

I'd like the numbers, timetable, and a clear strategy before we go back in for a full assault.

Not to say you can't just fuck around on the side. I did a bit of it this morning. Nothing too great, just some dumb alter shit.

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Stewart: I myself had some idiot [John Gibson] from FOX playing the tape of me after Sept. 11th, very upset and then calling me a phony because apparently my grief didn’t mean acquiescence…

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MrAndrew
Posted: May 27 2008, 08:00 PM
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Calm yourself. Just bookmark the thread and when we return, give it to him in his queer ass the way he loves it.

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See, the storm of the LORD will burst out in wrath, a whirlwind swirling down on the heads of the wicked. The anger of the LORD will not turn back until he fully accomplishes the purposes of his heart. In days to come you will understand it clearly.

Jer. 23 vs 19-20
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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 08:04 PM
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QUOTE (whomod @ May 27 2008, 07:00 PM)
Who's in charge?

iggy?
Zzap?
Sikk?

I'd like the numbers, timetable, and a clear strategy before we go back in for a full assault.

Not to say you can't just fuck around on the side. I did a bit of it this morning. Nothing too great, just some dumb alter shit.

Zzap is in charge.

I'd rather castrate myself in front of the Brothel before I let Sikk run the show.


--------------------
Ghost Rider rocks

However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 08:05 PM
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QUOTE (MrAndrew @ May 27 2008, 07:00 PM)
Calm yourself. Just bookmark the thread and when we return, give it to him in his queer ass the way he loves it.

That's not the point.
--------------------
Ghost Rider rocks

However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 08:39 PM
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I hope you don't take this the wrong way Zzap. I just think we need to hear what's going on.


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Sikkbones
Posted: May 27 2008, 02:33 PM
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is anyone else loving the fact that joe is joking with me after i made a denis leary reference about him being a permanent tenant of my ass?

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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 02:44 PM
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QUOTE (Sikkbones @ May 27 2008, 01:33 PM)
is anyone else loving the fact that joe is joking with me after i made a denis leary reference about him being a permanent tenant of my ass?

Yup. It's great to see him get down on his knees in front of you.


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However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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Sikkbones
Posted: May 27 2008, 02:46 PM
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see the latest poll here...

o, and iggy great work....

btw... are we on the same page about me breaking from the INS?


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Sikkbones
Posted: May 27 2008, 06:19 PM
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QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 27 2008, 06:44 PM)
QUOTE (Sikkbones @ May 27 2008, 01:33 PM)
is anyone else loving the fact that joe is joking with me after i made a denis leary reference about him being a permanent tenant of my ass?

Yup. It's great to see him get down on his knees in front of you.

you're not jealous that he took your job away from you?


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KnitWit
Posted: May 26 2008, 09:41 PM
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Anyone care to give me the password to Random Bitching? And while we're on the subject, explain what happened here?

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KnitWit
Posted: May 26 2008, 09:44 PM
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nevermind, about the password, iggy just texted it to me.

I'd still love an explaination, though. huh.gif

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Blackraisin
Posted: May 26 2008, 09:48 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 01:44 AM)
nevermind, about the password, iggy just texted it to me.

I'd still love an explaination, though. huh.gif

were at war sweety, and the enemy have already went after you!

here


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KnitWit
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:20 PM
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QUOTE (Blackraisin @ May 26 2008, 08:48 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 01:44 AM)
nevermind, about the password, iggy just texted it to me.

I'd still love an explaination, though. huh.gif

were at war sweety, and the enemy have already went after you!

here

It says i must be logged in to see the page.

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Blackraisin
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:22 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 02:20 AM)
QUOTE (Blackraisin @ May 26 2008, 08:48 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 01:44 AM)
nevermind, about the password, iggy just texted it to me.

I'd still love an explaination, though. huh.gif

were at war sweety, and the enemy have already went after you!

here

It says i must be logged in to see the page.

username: -----
password:-----


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KnitWit
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:32 PM
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Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

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Halo82
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:35 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?


--------------------
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However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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Blackraisin
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:38 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 02:32 AM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

That's why were there now. they were shitting with some posters family members


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KnitWit
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:38 PM
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QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 26 2008, 09:35 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?

I just can't believe there are people in existance who will do something that juvenile/childish/disgusting/low/etc. Even if it is only on the internet, it's still stupid.

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

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Blackraisin
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:40 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 02:38 AM)
QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 26 2008, 09:35 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?

I just can't believe there are people in existance who will do something that juvenile/childish/disgusting/low/etc. Even if it is only on the internet, it's still stupid.

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

can i borrow that quote?

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KnitWit
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:41 PM
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QUOTE (Blackraisin @ May 26 2008, 09:40 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 02:38 AM)
QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 26 2008, 09:35 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?

I just can't believe there are people in existance who will do something that juvenile/childish/disgusting/low/etc. Even if it is only on the internet, it's still stupid.

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

can i borrow that quote?

What, god-fucking-cock-suckers?

I created it for entertainment and stress-relief, free to use by everyone. Enjoy. happy.gif

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Halo82
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:42 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:38 PM)
QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 26 2008, 09:35 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?

I just can't believe there are people in existance who will do something that juvenile/childish/disgusting/low/etc. Even if it is only on the internet, it's still stupid.

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

Which God? I think the Norse Gods should run a train on all those ho's.

--------------------
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However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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alaskaphil
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:51 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:38 PM)

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

Dude, if your fucking God, you've got it goin' on as far as I'm concerned.

Keep up the good work.


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Grendel
Posted: May 26 2008, 08:33 PM
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I have access to some of the gayest posts of all time:

http://forum.phun.org/showthread.php?t=229121

Who at Rob's would be the most upset by such posts?

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Halo82
Posted: May 26 2008, 08:45 PM
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Joe Mama, Nowhereman, BritneySpearsAteMyShorts, rex

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Ghost Rider rocks

However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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Posted: May 26 2008, 09:00 PM
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Thanks. I've already started such an attack on britney in the John McCain's Got Some 'Splainin' to Do thread.

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whomod
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:19 AM
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I don't know if you'd call it homophobic but Pariah is a real number. Apparently he is well studied in Catholic dogma and is very serious about it.

...and yet the guy has a fetish for transexual hentai. But of course he's not gay, no siree.

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Stewart: I myself had some idiot [John Gibson] from FOX playing the tape of me after Sept. 11th, very upset and then calling me a phony because apparently my grief didn’t mean acquiescence…

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Posted: May 27 2008, 02:01 PM
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QUOTE (whomod @ May 27 2008, 03:19 PM)
I don't know if you'd call it homophobic but Pariah is a real number. Apparently he is well studied in Catholic dogma and is very serious about it.

...and yet the guy has a fetish for transexual hentai. But of course he's not gay, no siree.

should satanhimself play some games given Satanhimself's University level knowledge of history,religon and witchcraft and wicca?
i should really fuck with him and quote the satanic bible too.


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Blackraisin
Posted: May 27 2008, 06:02 PM
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Fuck waiting. I'm pissed and i'm calling them on it!

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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 06:04 PM
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QUOTE (Blackraisin @ May 27 2008, 05:02 PM)
I'm pissed and i'm calling them on it!

DON'T

Things have been all shades of wrong because none of us our in the same boat. We need to get organized.

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Halo82
Posted: May 23 2008, 06:01 PM
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QUOTE (pologuy @ May 23 2008, 04:20 PM)
QUOTE (Sikkbones @ May 22 2008, 01:49 PM)
QUOTE (relmurmot @ May 22 2008, 03:33 PM)
QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 18 2008, 11:25 AM)
So it has come to pass that the next great event in the history of the Insurgency has been givin a apropos epithet; "Last ride of the Hellhounds". With hostilities between Mr.Andrew and Sikk, several members being MIA, and busy schedules (I'll be starting college soon) the Hellhounds will soon disband.

Ah, but this need not be sad, should we end our association in a brilliant blaze of glory showing vermin that even though the safety of the internet enables their prankishness to go unabated, it does not make them puissant. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We will expose them as the dregs they are who use braggadocio, apathy, and cruelty to mask their cowardice. Best of all, that we did so not out of spite, vengeance, tomfoolery, or even boredom. But because it was right. Because a friend, a comrade, AN INNOCENT had been mauled by malignant villains. Yes, a glorious end it will be.

"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."

huh.gif since when have the 'hounds' not griped amoung themselves!!! and the missing,.. are just dormant,.. doing things within their respective lives.. As I see it,.. we'll all come together when needed. wink.gif

trust me the hellhounds aren't going anywhere...
anyone see the cerebus pic i posted in refernce to the hellhounds?

althought i think we needs some new blood, if joe mama passes the inition we can/should add him as a hellhound.

coffee.gif

You guys go over there to declare war and wind up making a BFF.

coffee.gif

Sikk did.

Joe is his Sikk's disciple.


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MrAndrew
Posted: May 27 2008, 09:14 PM
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We agreed from day one that we were following Zzap's lead on this. I know it sucks sitting on our hands, but then you guys should have been coming up with ideas and battle plans instead of being Leeroy Jenkins over there. We had the upper hand. If this is the end of the operation, then we've not only let down Whomod, but the name of Insurgency as well. We are better than them. We are better than this. Their board was emptying out once we left. A little while longer and we could have teamed up 4-on-1 if we had wanted to. As it stands now, they outnumber us 6-to-1. Zzap, please come back to lead. And those of you who are over there accomplishing nothing, pull back. Don't let your ego get in the way of what will be our greatest victory.


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See, the storm of the LORD will burst out in wrath, a whirlwind swirling down on the heads of the wicked. The anger of the LORD will not turn back until he fully accomplishes the purposes of his heart. In days to come you will understand it clearly.

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Blackraisin
Posted: May 27 2008, 09:18 PM
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I've pulled back, I'm just a little sore that they've stolen 2 of my acconts.

I will remain on standby untill Zzap gives the orders. Until then, try to keep all war related posts at rendevouz point.

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Zzap
Posted: May 27 2008, 09:09 PM
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Guys,

I’m out. I’m sorry, but if you can’t follow simple instructions like don’t go over there and post; just do reconnaissance, then there’s very little I can do to be effective as a leader.

I know you’re all pissed at them and want to get some measure of revenge and defend yourselves and the Insurgency, but so far as I can tell, nothing good has been accomplished by going back over there except to give them targets to aim at.

What happened yesterday was bullshit. No question about it. It was a huge clusterfuck, but not something from which we couldn’t recover. In fact, it could have been turned to our advantage.

In a nutshell, my strategy was to let them burn themselves out on self congratulations and back patting for a couple of days while we took a breather ourselves and came up with a new plan of attack including a new board from which to congregate and attack.

As some of you know, I had my friend, Rick Poulin, sign up at a gay website called JustUsBoys as Britneyspearsatemyshorts and start posting some really nasty shit. He was going to recruit several of his friends and have them sign on as rex, Captain Sammitch, Joe Mama, and others and have basically a huge bukkake fest on Rob. I’m talking photos, the works.

I contacted Starman and he agreed to help us. He used to be a member of Rob’s boards but had no allegiance to them and basically called them all a bunch of pricks. Starman is an incredibly bright guy and would have run rings around any and every person they have there. He would have filleted them without them even knowing it.

I’ve been busy doing recon, trying to keep up with everyone and trying to remember the fucking passwords when I change computers. Additionally, I’ve been taking notes on what they’ve been saying and, no surprise here, it makes no sense. They jump on us for betraying our values (i.e. “breaking” us), but they did the EXACT same thing, and I don’t think we did betray our values. Here’s what I mean: They claim to be a board with complete and total free speech, yet the alter posts, delete sigs, delete posts and a host of other “censorship” related things. Absolutely NOTHING like that was done at the Insurgency. Other than needing a registration approval, nothing has changed at our boards and as you all know, the registration approval was truly due to the SpamBots and porn posts.

Additionally I’ve been compiling a list of things we need to hit them on. Their advantage is not solely in greater numbers, it’s because they all hammer on the exact same thing over and over and over. Here’s an example, apparently Rob is actually gay. So, as their leader, they’re subservient to a gay man? Don’t think they’d like that very much. POUND THEM ON THAT. Same as the paragraph above; according to their own rules, they “broke” themselves without our having to do a thing except post about them. POUND ON THEIR HYPOCRISY. That “rex” person is gender confused; everyone refers to him as a “guy” yet in a post he told me straight out that he’s a girl. They all rag on Snarf; join them. They’re Republicans. POUND THEM ON THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.

They keep mentioning all the money we’re generating for Rob. WHO THE FUCK CARES? Tell them you’re there to support your friend and fellow Insurgent, whomod. Grab the moral highground. Challenge them as fathers/mothers or sons/daughters about how they would feel if the positions were turned. They tell you they couldn’t care less if someone made a post as “bsamsdaughter”; call them fucking liars and ask them what they do care about if it isn’t family? What, I ask you, is a good response to that? I don’t see one.

Sikk, Iggy, I’ve got absolutely NO idea what you hope to gain by infiltrating them. At some opportune moment they’re going to expose a weakness and you’ll pounce on the opportunity? IMHO that’s unlikely at best. Besides, that’s already been exposed as part of our plan.

You are NEVER going to win anything if you keep trying to address their each and every post individually. They’ve got you wandering around bumping into so many trees that you can’t even see the forest.

So, keep on doing whatever it is you’re doing. I’ll continue to support the effort and make my posts, keep I can’t lead people who won’t be led. I’m not going to dedicate the amount of time and effort I put in just to have everyone ignore it.

I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.

It just isn’t worth it anymore. Little victories are nice, but it’s not going to add up to enough to have much effect. Besides, I’m concerned over the inevitable retaliation at the Insurgency. If things had gone according to my plan, we would have split off from the Insurgency and attacked from a new place. My first priority has to be to the Insurgency boards.

I’m not mad or angry at anyone, so there’s no need to apologize or defend your actions.

I’ll see you out there as soon as I can.

Steve


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I'm also posting this at the rendevouz point. Reply there


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Posted By: PJP Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 4:32 AM
grrrs lols \:p
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus


You're probaly going to cry like a bitch when you get banned for hacking the board again.
They have a "rendezvous point".

It's in their anus...
Um... someone get The Translator or edit that down. I can't be arsed to read that shit.

I think I gathered that they think spamming us will do something? At all? As if we don't spam each other every day?
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus


You're probaly going to cry like a bitch when you get banned for hacking the board again.


I didn't hack anything, buddy.

You have a traitor...
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus


You're probaly going to cry like a bitch when you get banned for hacking the board again.


I didn't hack anything, buddy.

You have a traitor...


 Originally Posted By: Halo82


Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

I love how they think they figured us out. Your strategies won't work Halotardettes.
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 4:47 AM
Who's post was this? I can't tell with all the weird code.


My comments in bold


 Quote:
Guys,

I’m out. I’m sorry, but if you can’t follow simple instructions like don’t go over there and post; just do reconnaissance, then there’s very little I can do to be effective as a leader.

Win

I know you’re all pissed at them and want to get some measure of revenge and defend yourselves and the Insurgency, but so far as I can tell, nothing good has been accomplished by going back over there except to give them targets to aim at.

What happened yesterday was bullshit. No question about it. It was a huge clusterfuck, but not something from which we couldn’t recover. In fact, it could have been turned to our advantage.

In a nutshell, my strategy was to let them burn themselves out on self congratulations and back patting for a couple of days while we took a breather ourselves and came up with a new plan of attack including a new board from which to congregate and attack.

Translation: Rex and bsams kicked our asses and we ran away. I'm a failure as a human being.

As some of you know, I had my friend, Rick Poulin, sign up at a gay website called JustUsBoys as Britneyspearsatemyshorts and start posting some really nasty shit. He was going to recruit several of his friends and have them sign on as rex, Captain Sammitch, Joe Mama, and others and have basically a huge bukkake fest on Rob. I’m talking photos, the works.

I really really love gay porn and this is my excuse to have in on my computer without anyone suspecting.

I contacted Starman and he agreed to help us. He used to be a member of Rob’s boards but had no allegiance to them and basically called them all a bunch of pricks. Starman is an incredibly bright guy and would have run rings around any and every person they have there. He would have filleted them without them even knowing it.

I'm guessing starman is another political tard? Anyone know who he is?

I’ve been busy doing recon, trying to keep up with everyone and trying to remember the fucking passwords when I change computers. Additionally, I’ve been taking notes on what they’ve been saying and, no surprise here, it makes no sense. They jump on us for betraying our values (i.e. “breaking” us), but they did the EXACT same thing, and I don’t think we did betray our values. Here’s what I mean: They claim to be a board with complete and total free speech, yet the alter posts, delete sigs, delete posts and a host of other “censorship” related things. Absolutely NOTHING like that was done at the Insurgency. Other than needing a registration approval, nothing has changed at our boards and as you all know, the registration approval was truly due to the SpamBots and porn posts.

I couldn't read any of that. My BS alarm went off once I started reading it.

Additionally I’ve been compiling a list of things we need to hit them on. Their advantage is not solely in greater numbers, it’s because they all hammer on the exact same thing over and over and over. Here’s an example, apparently Rob is actually gay. So, as their leader, they’re subservient to a gay man? Don’t think they’d like that very much. POUND THEM ON THAT. Same as the paragraph above; according to their own rules, they “broke” themselves without our having to do a thing except post about them. POUND ON THEIR HYPOCRISY. That “rex” person is gender confused; everyone refers to him as a “guy” yet in a post he told me straight out that he’s a girl. They all rag on Snarf; join them. They’re Republicans. POUND THEM ON THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.

I think I just found my new signature.

They keep mentioning all the money we’re generating for Rob. WHO THE FUCK CARES? Tell them you’re there to support your friend and fellow Insurgent, whomod. Grab the moral highground. Challenge them as fathers/mothers or sons/daughters about how they would feel if the positions were turned. They tell you they couldn’t care less if someone made a post as “bsamsdaughter”; call them fucking liars and ask them what they do care about if it isn’t family? What, I ask you, is a good response to that? I don’t see one.

I can't wait for this shit. There is no way they have the balls to pull this off.

Sikk, Iggy, I’ve got absolutely NO idea what you hope to gain by infiltrating them. At some opportune moment they’re going to expose a weakness and you’ll pounce on the opportunity? IMHO that’s unlikely at best. Besides, that’s already been exposed as part of our plan.

Guys! Guys! I'm still cool, right? You still like me, right?

You are NEVER going to win anything if you keep trying to address their each and every post individually. They’ve got you wandering around bumping into so many trees that you can’t even see the forest.

So, keep on doing whatever it is you’re doing. I’ll continue to support the effort and make my posts, keep I can’t lead people who won’t be led. I’m not going to dedicate the amount of time and effort I put in just to have everyone ignore it.

I am defeated.

I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.

So this guy had his friends dad die and instead of being with him he "raided" us? Now he won't see his kids this weekend because of this? We fucking have this guy by the balls. He is now and will always be our bitch.

It just isn’t worth it anymore. Little victories are nice, but it’s not going to add up to enough to have much effect. Besides, I’m concerned over the inevitable retaliation at the Insurgency. If things had gone according to my plan, we would have split off from the Insurgency and attacked from a new place. My first priority has to be to the Insurgency boards.

I’m not mad or angry at anyone, so there’s no need to apologize or defend your actions.

I’ll see you out there as soon as I can.

Steve



This guy is gone. There is no hope for him online or in real life. He fucked both up.


This might be our greatest victory ever.
 Originally Posted By: Uschi
Um... someone get The Translator or edit that down. I can't be arsed to read that shit.

I think I gathered that they think spamming us will do something? At all? As if we don't spam each other every day?


Yeah, there's some talk of some sort of superspamming that will destroy us, but the gist of the discussion is as follows:

  • Halo is crying because, by his own admission, their board is in retreat
  • whomod is bitching because his troops have no plan and he says he won't post as himself right now, only as alts
  • Halo says that Zzap is in charge of the raid and demands that Zzap give them a plan of attack
  • Sikkbones is going on about some poll and their plan to have someone break from INS, whatever the fuck that means
  • There's a lot of talk about posting gay porn and joining gay porn boards under our usernames
  • Zzap is depressed because, in his words, "We had the upper hand. If this is the end of the operation, then we've not only let down Whomod, but the name of Insurgency as well."


good find, reax! I'm SO HUMILIATED that I'm following the leader Rob who is ACTUALLY A GAY HOMOSEXUAL!!! OMG NO.
 Originally Posted By: the G-man
 Originally Posted By: Uschi
Um... someone get The Translator or edit that down. I can't be arsed to read that shit.

I think I gathered that they think spamming us will do something? At all? As if we don't spam each other every day?


Yeah, there's some talk of some sort of superspamming that will destroy us, but the gist of the discussion is as follows:

  • Halo is crying because, by his own admission, their board is in retreat
  • whomod is bitching because his troops have no plan and he says he won't post as himself right now, only as alts
  • Halo says that Zzap is in charge of the raid and demands that Zzap give them a plan of attack
  • Sikkbones is going on about some poll and their plan to have someone break from INS, whatever the fuck that means
  • There's a lot of talk about posting gay porn and joining gay porn boards under our usernames
  • Zzap is depressed because, in his words, "We had the upper hand. If this is the end of the operation, then we've not only let down Whomod, but the name of Insurgency as well."




Thanks, faggot! That was helpful to me. And rather silly.
"Faggot"? Please, Uschi. Gay slurs have no place at the RKMBS.
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 07:54 PM
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I just had the perfect oppurtunity to take a shot at Pariah's dumbass but NO. I can't take it. When is this retreat going to end? When are we all going to get into the same boat stop pussyfooting around with this "getting in" with the enemy horseshit? When are we going to act like a united front and take it to them? There numbers are low right now and we have the perfect chance to spam the fuck out of their board.

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Posted: May 27 2008, 08:00 PM
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Who's in charge?

iggy?
Zzap?
Sikk?

I'd like the numbers, timetable, and a clear strategy before we go back in for a full assault.

Not to say you can't just fuck around on the side. I did a bit of it this morning. Nothing too great, just some dumb alter shit.

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Posted: May 27 2008, 08:00 PM
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Calm yourself. Just bookmark the thread and when we return, give it to him in his queer ass the way he loves it.

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QUOTE (whomod @ May 27 2008, 07:00 PM)
Who's in charge?

iggy?
Zzap?
Sikk?

I'd like the numbers, timetable, and a clear strategy before we go back in for a full assault.

Not to say you can't just fuck around on the side. I did a bit of it this morning. Nothing too great, just some dumb alter shit.

Zzap is in charge.

I'd rather castrate myself in front of the Brothel before I let Sikk run the show.


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QUOTE (MrAndrew @ May 27 2008, 07:00 PM)
Calm yourself. Just bookmark the thread and when we return, give it to him in his queer ass the way he loves it.

That's not the point.
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However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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I hope you don't take this the wrong way Zzap. I just think we need to hear what's going on.


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is anyone else loving the fact that joe is joking with me after i made a denis leary reference about him being a permanent tenant of my ass?

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QUOTE (Sikkbones @ May 27 2008, 01:33 PM)
is anyone else loving the fact that joe is joking with me after i made a denis leary reference about him being a permanent tenant of my ass?

Yup. It's great to see him get down on his knees in front of you.


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see the latest poll here...

o, and iggy great work....

btw... are we on the same page about me breaking from the INS?


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QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 27 2008, 06:44 PM)
QUOTE (Sikkbones @ May 27 2008, 01:33 PM)
is anyone else loving the fact that joe is joking with me after i made a denis leary reference about him being a permanent tenant of my ass?

Yup. It's great to see him get down on his knees in front of you.

you're not jealous that he took your job away from you?


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Posted: May 26 2008, 09:41 PM
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Anyone care to give me the password to Random Bitching? And while we're on the subject, explain what happened here?

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nevermind, about the password, iggy just texted it to me.

I'd still love an explaination, though. huh.gif

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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 01:44 AM)
nevermind, about the password, iggy just texted it to me.

I'd still love an explaination, though. huh.gif

were at war sweety, and the enemy have already went after you!

here


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QUOTE (Blackraisin @ May 26 2008, 08:48 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 01:44 AM)
nevermind, about the password, iggy just texted it to me.

I'd still love an explaination, though. huh.gif

were at war sweety, and the enemy have already went after you!

here

It says i must be logged in to see the page.

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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 02:20 AM)
QUOTE (Blackraisin @ May 26 2008, 08:48 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 01:44 AM)
nevermind, about the password, iggy just texted it to me.

I'd still love an explaination, though. huh.gif

were at war sweety, and the enemy have already went after you!

here

It says i must be logged in to see the page.

username: -----
password:-----


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Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?


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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 02:32 AM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

That's why were there now. they were shitting with some posters family members


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QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 26 2008, 09:35 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?

I just can't believe there are people in existance who will do something that juvenile/childish/disgusting/low/etc. Even if it is only on the internet, it's still stupid.

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

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Blackraisin
Posted: May 26 2008, 10:40 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 02:38 AM)
QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 26 2008, 09:35 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?

I just can't believe there are people in existance who will do something that juvenile/childish/disgusting/low/etc. Even if it is only on the internet, it's still stupid.

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

can i borrow that quote?

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Posted: May 26 2008, 10:41 PM
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QUOTE (Blackraisin @ May 26 2008, 09:40 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 27 2008, 02:38 AM)
QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 26 2008, 09:35 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?

I just can't believe there are people in existance who will do something that juvenile/childish/disgusting/low/etc. Even if it is only on the internet, it's still stupid.

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

can i borrow that quote?

What, god-fucking-cock-suckers?

I created it for entertainment and stress-relief, free to use by everyone. Enjoy. happy.gif

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Posted: May 26 2008, 10:42 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:38 PM)
QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 26 2008, 09:35 PM)
QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:32 PM)
Thanks for offering the username.

I signed up for an account, though (vegemite), and my god it's easy to register. What kind of board is that place?

And do we know who did that fake name thing? How 'bout fake names? I don't know what name Iggy used over there the other day, but he'd know it wasn't me and he wouldn't do something like that with an alter, either.

Grr. I wasn't even involved in any of this. My fucking boyfriend runs a forum, and I get dragged into childish games like that? That's low. It's so low I don't even want to waste my time telling them off.

It's a shitty one but you don't really expect that board to be high class considering it's filled with internet throwbacks?

I just can't believe there are people in existance who will do something that juvenile/childish/disgusting/low/etc. Even if it is only on the internet, it's still stupid.

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

Which God? I think the Norse Gods should run a train on all those ho's.

--------------------
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However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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Posted: May 26 2008, 10:51 PM
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QUOTE (KnitWit @ May 26 2008, 09:38 PM)

God-Fucking-Cock-Suckers. That's what they are.
tongue.gif

Dude, if your fucking God, you've got it goin' on as far as I'm concerned.

Keep up the good work.


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Grendel
Posted: May 26 2008, 08:33 PM
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I have access to some of the gayest posts of all time:

http://forum.phun.org/showthread.php?t=229121

Who at Rob's would be the most upset by such posts?

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Posted: May 26 2008, 08:45 PM
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Joe Mama, Nowhereman, BritneySpearsAteMyShorts, rex

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Ghost Rider rocks

However Happenstance may Have it, Henceforth I shall be Heralded as the Hauntingly Handsome Heretic in all His Heroicly Heathenistic Habits of Having Heated discourse with Haughty Hypocrites and their Hateur. Heavenly or Hellbound I Happily Hasten to Have Hermetic, or even Humorously Hollow, Heart-to-Hearts with the High spirited and good Hearted inHabitants of this Hidden Haven as the Hallowed HellHound known as... Halo.

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Posted: May 26 2008, 09:00 PM
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Thanks. I've already started such an attack on britney in the John McCain's Got Some 'Splainin' to Do thread.

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Posted: May 27 2008, 11:19 AM
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I don't know if you'd call it homophobic but Pariah is a real number. Apparently he is well studied in Catholic dogma and is very serious about it.

...and yet the guy has a fetish for transexual hentai. But of course he's not gay, no siree.

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Stewart: I myself had some idiot [John Gibson] from FOX playing the tape of me after Sept. 11th, very upset and then calling me a phony because apparently my grief didn’t mean acquiescence…

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Posted: May 27 2008, 02:01 PM
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QUOTE (whomod @ May 27 2008, 03:19 PM)
I don't know if you'd call it homophobic but Pariah is a real number. Apparently he is well studied in Catholic dogma and is very serious about it.

...and yet the guy has a fetish for transexual hentai. But of course he's not gay, no siree.

should satanhimself play some games given Satanhimself's University level knowledge of history,religon and witchcraft and wicca?
i should really fuck with him and quote the satanic bible too.


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Blackraisin
Posted: May 27 2008, 06:02 PM
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Fuck waiting. I'm pissed and i'm calling them on it!

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QUOTE (Blackraisin @ May 27 2008, 05:02 PM)
I'm pissed and i'm calling them on it!

DON'T

Things have been all shades of wrong because none of us our in the same boat. We need to get organized.

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Halo82
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QUOTE (pologuy @ May 23 2008, 04:20 PM)
QUOTE (Sikkbones @ May 22 2008, 01:49 PM)
QUOTE (relmurmot @ May 22 2008, 03:33 PM)
QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 18 2008, 11:25 AM)
So it has come to pass that the next great event in the history of the Insurgency has been givin a apropos epithet; "Last ride of the Hellhounds". With hostilities between Mr.Andrew and Sikk, several members being MIA, and busy schedules (I'll be starting college soon) the Hellhounds will soon disband.

Ah, but this need not be sad, should we end our association in a brilliant blaze of glory showing vermin that even though the safety of the internet enables their prankishness to go unabated, it does not make them puissant. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We will expose them as the dregs they are who use braggadocio, apathy, and cruelty to mask their cowardice. Best of all, that we did so not out of spite, vengeance, tomfoolery, or even boredom. But because it was right. Because a friend, a comrade, AN INNOCENT had been mauled by malignant villains. Yes, a glorious end it will be.

"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."

huh.gif since when have the 'hounds' not griped amoung themselves!!! and the missing,.. are just dormant,.. doing things within their respective lives.. As I see it,.. we'll all come together when needed. wink.gif

trust me the hellhounds aren't going anywhere...
anyone see the cerebus pic i posted in refernce to the hellhounds?

althought i think we needs some new blood, if joe mama passes the inition we can/should add him as a hellhound.

coffee.gif

You guys go over there to declare war and wind up making a BFF.

coffee.gif

Sikk did.

Joe is his Sikk's disciple.


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Posted: May 27 2008, 09:14 PM
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We agreed from day one that we were following Zzap's lead on this. I know it sucks sitting on our hands, but then you guys should have been coming up with ideas and battle plans instead of being Leeroy Jenkins over there. We had the upper hand. If this is the end of the operation, then we've not only let down Whomod, but the name of Insurgency as well. We are better than them. We are better than this. Their board was emptying out once we left. A little while longer and we could have teamed up 4-on-1 if we had wanted to. As it stands now, they outnumber us 6-to-1. Zzap, please come back to lead. And those of you who are over there accomplishing nothing, pull back. Don't let your ego get in the way of what will be our greatest victory.


--------------------
See, the storm of the LORD will burst out in wrath, a whirlwind swirling down on the heads of the wicked. The anger of the LORD will not turn back until he fully accomplishes the purposes of his heart. In days to come you will understand it clearly.

Jer. 23 vs 19-20
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Blackraisin
Posted: May 27 2008, 09:18 PM
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I've pulled back, I'm just a little sore that they've stolen 2 of my acconts.

I will remain on standby untill Zzap gives the orders. Until then, try to keep all war related posts at rendevouz point.

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Posted: May 27 2008, 09:09 PM
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Guys,

I’m out. I’m sorry, but if you can’t follow simple instructions like don’t go over there and post; just do reconnaissance, then there’s very little I can do to be effective as a leader.

I know you’re all pissed at them and want to get some measure of revenge and defend yourselves and the Insurgency, but so far as I can tell, nothing good has been accomplished by going back over there except to give them targets to aim at.

What happened yesterday was bullshit. No question about it. It was a huge clusterfuck, but not something from which we couldn’t recover. In fact, it could have been turned to our advantage.

In a nutshell, my strategy was to let them burn themselves out on self congratulations and back patting for a couple of days while we took a breather ourselves and came up with a new plan of attack including a new board from which to congregate and attack.

As some of you know, I had my friend, Rick Poulin, sign up at a gay website called JustUsBoys as Britneyspearsatemyshorts and start posting some really nasty shit. He was going to recruit several of his friends and have them sign on as rex, Captain Sammitch, Joe Mama, and others and have basically a huge bukkake fest on Rob. I’m talking photos, the works.

I contacted Starman and he agreed to help us. He used to be a member of Rob’s boards but had no allegiance to them and basically called them all a bunch of pricks. Starman is an incredibly bright guy and would have run rings around any and every person they have there. He would have filleted them without them even knowing it.

I’ve been busy doing recon, trying to keep up with everyone and trying to remember the fucking passwords when I change computers. Additionally, I’ve been taking notes on what they’ve been saying and, no surprise here, it makes no sense. They jump on us for betraying our values (i.e. “breaking” us), but they did the EXACT same thing, and I don’t think we did betray our values. Here’s what I mean: They claim to be a board with complete and total free speech, yet the alter posts, delete sigs, delete posts and a host of other “censorship” related things. Absolutely NOTHING like that was done at the Insurgency. Other than needing a registration approval, nothing has changed at our boards and as you all know, the registration approval was truly due to the SpamBots and porn posts.

Additionally I’ve been compiling a list of things we need to hit them on. Their advantage is not solely in greater numbers, it’s because they all hammer on the exact same thing over and over and over. Here’s an example, apparently Rob is actually gay. So, as their leader, they’re subservient to a gay man? Don’t think they’d like that very much. POUND THEM ON THAT. Same as the paragraph above; according to their own rules, they “broke” themselves without our having to do a thing except post about them. POUND ON THEIR HYPOCRISY. That “rex” person is gender confused; everyone refers to him as a “guy” yet in a post he told me straight out that he’s a girl. They all rag on Snarf; join them. They’re Republicans. POUND THEM ON THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.

They keep mentioning all the money we’re generating for Rob. WHO THE FUCK CARES? Tell them you’re there to support your friend and fellow Insurgent, whomod. Grab the moral highground. Challenge them as fathers/mothers or sons/daughters about how they would feel if the positions were turned. They tell you they couldn’t care less if someone made a post as “bsamsdaughter”; call them fucking liars and ask them what they do care about if it isn’t family? What, I ask you, is a good response to that? I don’t see one.

Sikk, Iggy, I’ve got absolutely NO idea what you hope to gain by infiltrating them. At some opportune moment they’re going to expose a weakness and you’ll pounce on the opportunity? IMHO that’s unlikely at best. Besides, that’s already been exposed as part of our plan.

You are NEVER going to win anything if you keep trying to address their each and every post individually. They’ve got you wandering around bumping into so many trees that you can’t even see the forest.

So, keep on doing whatever it is you’re doing. I’ll continue to support the effort and make my posts, keep I can’t lead people who won’t be led. I’m not going to dedicate the amount of time and effort I put in just to have everyone ignore it.

I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.

It just isn’t worth it anymore. Little victories are nice, but it’s not going to add up to enough to have much effect. Besides, I’m concerned over the inevitable retaliation at the Insurgency. If things had gone according to my plan, we would have split off from the Insurgency and attacked from a new place. My first priority has to be to the Insurgency boards.

I’m not mad or angry at anyone, so there’s no need to apologize or defend your actions.

I’ll see you out there as soon as I can.

Steve


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Blackraisin
Posted: May 27 2008, 09:11 PM
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I'm also posting this at the rendevouz point. Reply there


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freaking hilarious!!!
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 4:58 AM
The guy I quoted was Craptain Zzap.
 Quote:
I just had the perfect oppurtunity to take a shot at Pariah's dumbass but NO. I can't take it. When is this retreat going to end? When are we all going to get into the same boat stop pussyfooting around with this "getting in" with the enemy horseshit? When are we going to act like a united front and take it to them? There numbers are low right now and we have the perfect chance to spam the fuck out of their board.


Goddammit. STOP THINKING AND SPAM US, YOU SILLY FUCKS!
 Originally Posted By: Halo
Ah, but this need not be sad, should we end our association in a brilliant blaze of glory showing vermin that even though the safety of the internet enables their prankishness to go unabated, it does not make them puissant. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We will expose them as the dregs they are who use braggadocio, apathy, and cruelty to mask their cowardice. Best of all, that we did so not out of spite, vengeance, tomfoolery, or even boredom. But because it was right. Because a friend, a comrade, AN INNOCENT had been mauled by malignant villains. Yes, a glorious end it will be.





Zzap's is by far the best post.
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 5:14 AM
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.
 Quote:


As some of you know, I had my friend, Rick Poulin, sign up at a gay website called JustUsBoys as Britneyspearsatemyshorts and start posting some really nasty shit. He was going to recruit several of his friends and have them sign on as rex, Captain Sammitch, Joe Mama, and others and have basically a huge bukkake fest on Rob. I’m talking photos, the works.





 Quote:
should satanhimself play some games given Satanhimself's University level knowledge of history,religon and witchcraft and wicca?
i should really fuck with him and quote the satanic bible too.


These guys clearly don't know Pariah. Satanhimself should clear his schedule for the next three weeks if he wants to debate religion with him. And I say that on the assumption that he's actually Satan... otherwise he probably won't cut it.
ha ha ha... I boned whomod's daughter and her vag ripped open and I put my fist in it and ripped out her tiny (really tiny) uterus and are it while she bled to death.
 Originally Posted By: rex
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.
 Originally Posted By: rex
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.

 Originally Posted By: Uschi
ha ha ha... I boned whomod's daughter and her vag ripped open and I put my fist in it and ripped out her tiny (really tiny) uterus and are it while she bled to death.
 Originally Posted By: rex
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.


That reminds me, should we mention the reason we raided the Issues forum a couple of years back...? Nah, let 'em do some research and find out themselves. After all, it's not like they have anything better to do in their personal lives, right?

HI ZZAP!
 Quote:
I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.








WE WIN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Quote:

They all rag on Snarf; join them.



Gobdammit! [dangerfield]No respect, I tells ya![/dangerfield]
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 5:18 AM
 Originally Posted By: Uschi
 Originally Posted By: rex
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.

 Originally Posted By: Uschi
ha ha ha... I boned whomod's daughter and her vag ripped open and I put my fist in it and ripped out her tiny (really tiny) uterus and are it while she bled to death.



I get it. Don't get all frank burns over it.
 Originally Posted By: Uschi
 Originally Posted By: rex
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.

 Originally Posted By: Uschi
ha ha ha... I boned whomod's daughter and her vag ripped open and I put my fist in it and ripped out her tiny (really tiny) uterus and are it while she bled to death.


NO, USCHI!!!! Stop saying things like that or people might come here and SPAM!!!!
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 5:19 AM
 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
 Originally Posted By: rex
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.


That reminds me, should we mention the reason we raided the Issues forum a couple of years back...? Nah, let 'em do some research and find out themselves. After all, it's not like they have anything better to do in their personal lives, right?

HI ZZAP!


Has anyone gone back there recently? The last time I tried the place was completely dead.
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Quote:
I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.








WE WIN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 Originally Posted By: k-nutreturns
victory
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 5:20 AM
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Quote:
I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.








WE WIN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That shit right there needs to be somewhere where any here can see at all times.
 Quote:


I have access to some of the gayest posts of all time:

http://forum.phun.org/showthread.php?t=229121

Who at Rob's would be the most upset by such posts?




 Quote:


Joe Mama, Nowhereman, BritneySpearsAteMyShorts, rex




 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
 Originally Posted By: rex
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.


That reminds me, should we mention the reason we raided the Issues forum a couple of years back...? Nah, let 'em do some research and find out themselves. After all, it's not like they have anything better to do in their personal lives, right?

HI ZZAP!


We had a reason?
Was it because Megan roxored?
 Originally Posted By: Pariah
 Originally Posted By: Halo
Ah, but this need not be sad, should we end our association in a brilliant blaze of glory showing vermin that even though the safety of the internet enables their prankishness to go unabated, it does not make them puissant. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We will expose them as the dregs they are who use braggadocio, apathy, and cruelty to mask their cowardice. Best of all, that we did so not out of spite, vengeance, tomfoolery, or even boredom. But because it was right. Because a friend, a comrade, AN INNOCENT had been mauled by malignant villains. Yes, a glorious end it will be.





Zzap's is by far the best post.


I dunno. you don't even have to be a grammar nazi to appreciate how incredibly hard halotard is trying in that post. it reads like a discarded draft from seventh-grade creative writing class.

he could have saved us some time by leaving it at
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch


he could have saved us some time by leaving it at



too easy. we all know halo doesnt like easy...
I thought Pro's previous visit to the secret forum was the peak of this thing, but Zzap's new post is actually better:

(I'm gonna address them directly since I know they're reading this) (HI ZZAP!)

 Quote:
Guys,

I’m out. I’m sorry, but if you can’t follow simple instructions like don’t go over there and post; just do reconnaissance, then there’s very little I can do to be effective as a leader.


How about this: Don't be a pussy and came raid us with all you got. Don't worry about looking stupid. Gob knows we don't!

 Quote:
As some of you know, I had my friend, Rick Poulin, sign up at a gay website called JustUsBoys as Britneyspearsatemyshorts and start posting some really nasty shit. He was going to recruit several of his friends and have them sign on as rex, Captain Sammitch, Joe Mama, and others and have basically a huge bukkake fest on Rob. I’m talking photos, the works.


First of all: Who were they hoping to fool with that? Were they expecting us to go "OH NO! BSMAS POSTS IN A GAY FORUM! OH NO, WAIT! LOOK! I DO TOO! OH NOO" Or was this about "making us look foolish"? They should stop worrying so much about appareances and concentrate on, you know, actually winning.

Secondly: Well, at least you got photos out of it!

 Quote:
I contacted Starman and he agreed to help us. He used to be a member of Rob’s boards but had no allegiance to them and basically called them all a bunch of pricks. Starman is an incredibly bright guy and would have run rings around any and every person they have there. He would have filleted them without them even knowing it.


I guess he's the only thing you guys have left now, since you're all too ashamed to come back. \:\(

 Quote:
They jump on us for betraying our values (i.e. “breaking” us), but they did the EXACT same thing, and I don’t think we did betray our values. Here’s what I mean: They claim to be a board with complete and total free speech, yet the alter posts, delete sigs, delete posts and a host of other “censorship” related things.


Ok, you said we did "the EXACT same thing", that is, "betray our values"... Thing is, we ain't got values around here! Isn't that why you're raiding us?

 Quote:
Absolutely NOTHING like that was done at the Insurgency.


Oh, no, you only hacked the account of a member who didn't break any rules after you specifically said you wouldn't.

Zzap's tone is pretty defensive there(, Grimmers). I guess my comment about them being hypocrites really got to him. Well, let me clarify: I don't think it's wrong that you come here and do things you wouldn't do at your own board. I just think it's fucking funny.

 Quote:
Here’s an example, apparently Rob is actually gay.


That reminds me, robbie... when are you gonna tell your fiancee about that? You know, the extremely hot chick who makes you look like a smurf when you stand together?

 Quote:
So, as their leader, they’re subservient to a gay man?


Good thing he's not black or jewish! Phew!

 Quote:
Same as the paragraph above; according to their own rules, they “broke” themselves without our having to do a thing except post about them. POUND ON THEIR HYPOCRISY.


Friendly advice: really don't think it'd do you any good to bring up that subject.

 Quote:
That “rex” person is gender confused; everyone refers to him as a “guy” yet in a post he told me straight out that he’s a girl.


Also, he has a black daddy. Race confusion? POUND THEM ON THAT.

 Quote:
They all rag on Snarf; join them.


But Zzap! If you join us or anything or be nice to us or have any fun at all, you'll all look foolish! WE CANNOT HAVE THAT!

 Quote:
They’re Republicans. POUND THEM ON THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.


What are you doing during those long, long hours of "recon"? Really? Surfing Wikipedia? Watching MSFT3K clips on Youtube? Because you clearly haven't done your homework, dude.

 Quote:
They keep mentioning all the money we’re generating for Rob. WHO THE FUCK CARES?


Uh, Rob?

 Quote:
Tell them you’re there to support your friend and fellow Insurgent, whomod. Grab the moral highground. Challenge them as fathers/mothers or sons/daughters about how they would feel if the positions were turned.


You mean like what you did with your "Mommy" ID? Whoops, so much for moral highground!

 Quote:
They tell you they couldn’t care less if someone made a post as “bsamsdaughter”; call them fucking liars and ask them what they do care about if it isn’t family? What, I ask you, is a good response to that? I don’t see one.


How about actual-family, as opposed to pretend-internet-family?

I can't speak for everyone here, but most of us don't do things that we wouldn't want other people to do to us. That's why we don't have a big problem with this raid: shit, we deserve much worse! Also, I'm not big on mocking families, but I don't get what's the big deal about it either. I mean, let's say I call your mother a whore. You know she's not a whore. I know she's not a whore. Why the fuck would you let that annoy you? I've never been able to understand that.

 Quote:
Sikk, Iggy, I’ve got absolutely NO idea what you hope to gain by infiltrating them. At some opportune moment they’re going to expose a weakness and you’ll pounce on the opportunity? IMHO that’s unlikely at best. Besides, that’s already been exposed as part of our plan.


Yeah, I don't get that either. We have no secret passwords or anything, so what could anyone possibly get by "infiltrating" us? So I say we might as well get along with those guys! \:\)

 Quote:
You are NEVER going to win anything


You're getting desperate. DON'T GIVE UP HOPE, ZZAP!

 Quote:
I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule


That's funny...

 Quote:
On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.


...and that is not

Get off the computer and go be with your friend, you shit.

 Quote:
Besides, I’m concerned over the inevitable retaliation at the Insurgency.


Retaliation for what? Giving new life to our boards? Bringing back inactive posters? You're right, that DOES piss me off! We're gonna go over there AND GENERATE SHITLOADS OF MONEY FOR YOU, YOU FUCKERS!
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch


he could have saved us some time by leaving it at



too easy. we all know halo doesnt like easy...


doesn't s/he?
 Originally Posted By: Ultimate Jaburg53
 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
 Originally Posted By: rex
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.


That reminds me, should we mention the reason we raided the Issues forum a couple of years back...? Nah, let 'em do some research and find out themselves. After all, it's not like they have anything better to do in their personal lives, right?

HI ZZAP!


We had a reason?


Somebody insulted somebody else's mother so we went gay for Issues.
 Originally Posted By: rex
 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
 Originally Posted By: rex
All I did was make an alt out of whomods supposed daugher (we all know he's crazy, she could be made up) its not like I raped her or anything like that.


That reminds me, should we mention the reason we raided the Issues forum a couple of years back...? Nah, let 'em do some research and find out themselves. After all, it's not like they have anything better to do in their personal lives, right?

HI ZZAP!


Has anyone gone back there recently? The last time I tried the place was completely dead.


It's kinda bizarre. They sold the place to a guy who kept the forums and the users but added several celebrity news sections (like, one with Paris Hilton news, one for Lindsay Lohan, etc). The only one posting there is an automatic moderator who pastes news stories from feeds. Apparently he does it to attract Google hits and cash in from the forum activity (you know, like Rob thanks to the Insurgents).

All of the users moved a different forum with a completely different name and they try not to mention what the previous place was called (I guess to avoid someone searching them on Google). I got the link somewhere.
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 6:17 AM
 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
I got the link somewhere.


coughPMcough
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
 Quote:


I have access to some of the gayest posts of all time:

http://forum.phun.org/showthread.php?t=229121

Who at Rob's would be the most upset by such posts?




 Quote:


Joe Mama, Nowhereman, BritneySpearsAteMyShorts, rex






We're so gay, SO gay, SOOO GAY... that gay posts upset us.

They, on the other hand, have no problem browsing for gay forums at office time, and even signing up...
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 6:18 AM
Captain Zzap content User For My New Friends at RKMB
100+ posts 28 seconds ago Viewing a private message


I just sent him a PM! (Guess what it was?)
 Originally Posted By: rex
 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
I got the link somewhere.


coughPMcough


Bah, it's in another computer. I'll send it tomorrow.
 Originally Posted By: Zzap

I contacted Starman and he agreed to help us. He used to be a member of Rob’s boards but had no allegiance to them and basically called them all a bunch of pricks. Starman is an incredibly bright guy and would have run rings around any and every person they have there. He would have filleted them without them even knowing it.


What, exactly, would be the accomplishment of filleting us without us even knowing it?
maybe he can make secret polls?
 Originally Posted By: the G-man
 Originally Posted By: Zzap

I contacted Starman and he agreed to help us. He used to be a member of Rob’s boards but had no allegiance to them and basically called them all a bunch of pricks. Starman is an incredibly bright guy and would have run rings around any and every person they have there. He would have filleted them without them even knowing it.


What, exactly, would be the accomplishment of filleting us without us even knowing it?


He's like a ninja. He sneaks in, under the cover of darkness, and fillets us. Before we even know it, he's gone back into the night.
And just because it still makes me laugh:

 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Quote:
I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.








WE WIN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
x a bizillion!
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 6:26 AM
I have a folder full of message board meltdown. That is the latest entry.
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: the G-man
 Originally Posted By: Zzap

I contacted Starman and he agreed to help us. He used to be a member of Rob’s boards but had no allegiance to them and basically called them all a bunch of pricks. Starman is an incredibly bright guy and would have run rings around any and every person they have there. He would have filleted them without them even knowing it.


What, exactly, would be the accomplishment of filleting us without us even knowing it?


He's like a ninja. He sneaks in, under the cover of darkness, and fillets us. Before we even know it, he's gone back into the night.


Yeah, but seriously, to what end?

This is a message board. Let's say that "Starman" shows up here and fillets me without me even knowing it. So, after the "filleting", I'll just keep on my merry way, posting "Hillary is a dyke and Obama a closet Muslim" articles in the political forum, making nasty jokes about whomods' (and Keith Ledger's) progency, checking out the occasional boobie shot in the women's forum and, basically, living my RKMB life without suffering a single ill effect from said "filleting."

Again, I ask: what's their point?
I have a pocket full of kryptonite and a button.
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch


he could have saved us some time by leaving it at



too easy. we all know halo doesnt like easy...


True.
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
 Originally Posted By: Pariah
 Originally Posted By: Halo
Ah, but this need not be sad, should we end our association in a brilliant blaze of glory showing vermin that even though the safety of the internet enables their prankishness to go unabated, it does not make them puissant. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We will expose them as the dregs they are who use braggadocio, apathy, and cruelty to mask their cowardice. Best of all, that we did so not out of spite, vengeance, tomfoolery, or even boredom. But because it was right. Because a friend, a comrade, AN INNOCENT had been mauled by malignant villains. Yes, a glorious end it will be.





Zzap's is by far the best post.


I dunno. you don't even have to be a grammar nazi to appreciate how incredibly hard halotard is trying in that post. it reads like a discarded draft from seventh-grade creative writing class.

he could have saved us some time by leaving it at


That is so forced. You must be Halo.
 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
 Quote:


I have access to some of the gayest posts of all time:

http://forum.phun.org/showthread.php?t=229121

Who at Rob's would be the most upset by such posts?




 Quote:


Joe Mama, Nowhereman, BritneySpearsAteMyShorts, rex






We're so gay, SO gay, SOOO GAY... that gay posts upset us.

They, on the other hand, have no problem browsing for gay forums at office time, and even signing up...



someone should email his boss!

 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
 Originally Posted By: Pariah
 Originally Posted By: Halo
Ah, but this need not be sad, should we end our association in a brilliant blaze of glory showing vermin that even though the safety of the internet enables their prankishness to go unabated, it does not make them puissant. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We will expose them as the dregs they are who use braggadocio, apathy, and cruelty to mask their cowardice. Best of all, that we did so not out of spite, vengeance, tomfoolery, or even boredom. But because it was right. Because a friend, a comrade, AN INNOCENT had been mauled by malignant villains. Yes, a glorious end it will be.





Zzap's is by far the best post.


I dunno. you don't even have to be a grammar nazi to appreciate how incredibly hard halotard is trying in that post. it reads like a discarded draft from seventh-grade creative writing class.

he could have saved us some time by leaving it at





COMEDY GOLD!
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
 Originally Posted By: Pariah
 Originally Posted By: Halo
Ah, but this need not be sad, should we end our association in a brilliant blaze of glory showing vermin that even though the safety of the internet enables their prankishness to go unabated, it does not make them puissant. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We will expose them as the dregs they are who use braggadocio, apathy, and cruelty to mask their cowardice. Best of all, that we did so not out of spite, vengeance, tomfoolery, or even boredom. But because it was right. Because a friend, a comrade, AN INNOCENT had been mauled by malignant villains. Yes, a glorious end it will be.





Zzap's is by far the best post.


Damn dude, you guys have the distinct advantage right now and you still have to fall back on that shit. Lame ass bitch.

I dunno. you don't even have to be a grammar nazi to appreciate how incredibly hard halotard is trying in that post. it reads like a discarded draft from seventh-grade creative writing class.

he could have saved us some time by leaving it at





 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
 Originally Posted By: Pariah
 Originally Posted By: Halo
Ah, but this need not be sad, should we end our association in a brilliant blaze of glory showing vermin that even though the safety of the internet enables their prankishness to go unabated, it does not make them puissant. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We will expose them as the dregs they are who use braggadocio, apathy, and cruelty to mask their cowardice. Best of all, that we did so not out of spite, vengeance, tomfoolery, or even boredom. But because it was right. Because a friend, a comrade, AN INNOCENT had been mauled by malignant villains. Yes, a glorious end it will be.





Zzap's is by far the best post.


Damn dude, you guys have the distinct advantage right now and you still have to fall back on that shit. Lame ass bitch.

I dunno. you don't even have to be a grammar nazi to appreciate how incredibly hard halotard is trying in that post. it reads like a discarded draft from seventh-grade creative writing class.

he could have saved us some time by leaving it at








he did it for you guys
it's so true even halo knows it!
that's no sloppy edit! he is trying to make peace!
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
that's no sloppy edit! he is trying to make peace!


Fuck that.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
that's no sloppy edit! he is trying to make peace!





oakleyesque!
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
that's no sloppy edit! he is trying to make peace!







COMEDY GOLD!
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
that's no sloppy edit! he is trying to make peace!







COMEDY GOLD!



its funny cuz its true!
 Quote:
So, keep on doing whatever it is you’re doing. I’ll continue to support the effort and make my posts, keep I can’t lead people who won’t be led. I’m not going to dedicate the amount of time and effort I put in just to have everyone ignore it.



and you people call us souless bastards. zzap has dedicated a lot of his time to this. it hasn't been a failure because of his leadership(this is the man who came up with the demoralizing poll strategy after all -banned by the geneva convention i might add), he is a helluva leader. you people are just to stubborn to be led. for shame insurgents.





for shame.
they left their own forums!
They've got us by the balls, things are looking grim!
Posted By: URG Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 7:04 AM
 Originally Posted By: Jeremy
They've got us by the balls, things are looking grim!

Heh.



They am got our balls in a salad shooter now,
That just hit me! All that talk from Rellik (that's killer backwards, btw) about making us leave this place, and they were planning to leave their forum all along!

I miss Rellik. \:\(
That plan is so crazy it just might work!
Posted By: URG Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 7:09 AM

 Originally Posted By: Jeremy
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Jeremy
 Quote:
I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.


they ran away from their own boards!
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 7:21 AM
Captain Zzap content User For My New Friends at RKMB
100+ posts 05/27/08 11:30 PM Reading a post
Forum: Random Chat - sponsored by PJP
Thread: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum


he's been there over an hour, ten bucks says he smashed his key board or threw his mouse and he's stuck...
In...the...ass?
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
it's so true even halo knows it!


Well I'm not like you morons who tell yourselves your winning even though...you're not. We'll be back.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
it's so true even halo knows it!


We'll be back.



we'll be here to hand you your ass again!


Well, as usual, I'm a fool for trying. I tried one last time to be civil with Halo. And, not only did he spit in my face, he scratched my car with his keyring. Even Zzap, who I could have called "friend", has turned on me. He is dedicated to posting for Whomod (who, surprisingly, doesn't seem to be able to defend himself or show his face around here).

Somehow, my importance continues to escalate. Don't worry, Rex. I will remind them that it was you who broke them. For now, it seems I get on Halo's nerves. That is enough for me.

 Quote:

Prometheus
Posted: May 27 2008, 09:39 PM
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What's all this fuss? Zzap, don't waste your personal life on posting in this game. Only do it when it's fun. Otherwise, you're going to burn yourself out, and you know it. Seriously.

Come on gang! When was the last time the boards were THIS fun?? I hope everyone is having a fabulous time, and doesn't take it all too seriously, you know? Smile when you call me a cuntface! laugh.gif


 Quote:

Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 10:07 PM
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The Glorious Pussy

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Are you oblivious or just apathetic to the fact you are pathetic? You sound like an abuse victim who makes the same excuses over and over. "Oh, he doesn't really mean anything by it" but instead you're like "you should just relax and join in the fun". You all are idiots. Not funny "HA HA" but funny "I can't believe anybody is that dumb".


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Prometheus
Posted: May 27 2008, 10:08 PM
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But, what about all the nice things I said? wacko.gif


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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 10:11 PM
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The Glorious Pussy

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Honestly, you'd be a good a guy if you stopped playing follow the leader with a bunch of retarded egomaniacs. I'm not saying you should come back here, I'm not even saying you should quit posting overthere, but you should quit reassuring of them of their greatness and whatever when they aren't all that great.


 Quote:

Prometheus
Posted: May 27 2008, 10:24 PM
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And who is to decide who is "great"? Really? Has it occurred to you that you overreact to situations and conflicts? That just because you don't get a joke, that it isn't funny to someone else?

What is your conflict? What is your specific conflict with me? That I got Joe Mama's back during the debate, or that Joe was right and my speaking up cemented it for you? Because for you to have this much bile towards an unknown entity like myself, you're either overreacting or wanting to fuck me. And, I'm not into dudes...


 Quote:

Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 10:37 PM
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The Glorious Pussy

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There you go again with the same old rationalizations. Has it occured to me that I overeact? Hell yeah it has. I know I can be a stubborn bastard. But this is one of those times I know I'm right.

I have no problem with you agreeing with Joe about Green Lantern. None. But when you jump in like "OWNED" when he's not saying anything all that clever, just his usual banal dribble, that reeks of ass kissing. When all Joe has to say in a argument is "I win" and you jump in "Joe is winning" that reeks of ass kissing. When you jump in to tell Joe he has "owned" but when I make a post with numerous links and quotes that contradict him all you can say is "how long did it take you to do that" that reeks of ass kissing. When you say I throw tantrums but conveneintly ignore the tantrum Joe threw over a comic character that reeks of ass kissing AND hypocrisy.

I don't have bile towars you individually. I have bile towards dumbass minions who enable the morons of the world. That's you.


 Quote:

Captain Zzap
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:06 PM
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Thank you for the advice. They happen to be the very words I live by: "If it ain't fun, don't do it." It just so happens that in this case what you guys did to whomod stepped over a line that shouldn't have been crossed. If one doesn't have the personal integrity to stand up for friends, than what does he stand for?

Zzap!


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Prometheus
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:29 PM
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Zzap, from what I heard someone (rex) created an alt of whomod's daughter, or something. And everyone of you is going on and on about how it "crossed a line". Let me ask you, what is Whomod's real name? I mean, I don't think it's "Whomod", is it? It's a username on a message board. So, if rex and the rest don't know who he is apart from what he preaches, and his username, how in any rationale could he (or anyone) get "offended" when rex creates a parodying alt? Does he even have a daughter? If so, if not, what's the fucking point?? Who cares? Who does it hurt? Whomod? If he's hurt by something they say, it's because he cares so much about their opinion that he allows himself to be hurt. We're all just random anonymous humans talking together. No more, no less.

By letting the boards affect you personally, in real life, you enable and empower those that you claim to hate. It's all fun and games on Rob's Board. That's it. The end.


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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:32 PM
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Dude, unless you surrender then there's nothing you can say. There are too many instances I can think of where you jump and praise someone who is either A)losing or b) an idiot.


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Prometheus
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:36 PM
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Why should it bother you what I say, if you "know you're right"? Why do you give a shit so much? Let it go and have fun... eck02.gif


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Prometheus
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QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 27 2008, 11:32 PM)
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus,May 27 2008, 10:29 PM

Dude, unless you surrender then there's nothing you can say. There are too many instances I can think of where you jump and praise someone who is either A)losing or cool.gif an idiot.

If you say so, sweety. But, then again, I'm not the one with "Battle Strategies", so, what do I know? nana.gif


 Quote:

Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:40 PM
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The Glorious Pussy

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QUOTE (Prometheus @ May 27 2008, 10:36 PM)
[QUOTE=Halo82,May 27 2008, 10:37 PM] [QUOTE=Prometheus,May 27 2008, 09:24 PM]
I have no problem with you agreeing with Joe about Green Lantern. None. But when you jump in like "OWNED" when he's not saying anything all that clever, just his usual banal dribble, that reeks of ass kissing. When all Joe has to say in a argument is "I win" and you jump in "Joe is winning" that reeks of ass kissing. When you jump in to tell Joe he has "owned" but when I make a post with numerous links and quotes that contradict him all you can say is "how long did it take you to do that" that reeks of ass kissing. When you say I throw tantrums but conveneintly ignore the tantrum Joe threw over a comic character that reeks of ass kissing AND hypocrisy.

I don't have bile towars you individually. I have bile towards dumbass minions who enable the morons of the world. That's you.

Why should it bother you what I say, if you "know you're right"? Why do you give a shit so much? Let it go and have fun... eck02.gif

Why are you asking this question? Why do you care if I care? Why do you suck up to those whores?

I don't care what you think so much as I think you are pathetic. You and I were cool but you acted like a dick just to get in good with Joe.


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Prometheus
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:54 PM
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Yes Halo. That is it. You clever, clever man. It's all so obvious. I sucked up to Joe to get in good with him. Right. Naturally. The only way that could possibly make no sense would be if he and I had already been friends for almost five years now.

Oh. Wait. We have been.


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Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:55 PM
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See, that's the bullshit excuse making. They are talking about Whomods daughter and it doesn't matter if they know his name or not. He's a real person even if you can't see him. You are trolls. You can spin it anyway you want but you are arrogant, nasty, cruel, obtuse, dense, obnoxious, trolls.


 Quote:

Halo82
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:57 PM
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No, I think you sucked up to Joe because being friends with guys like that makes you feel special. Being a member with a long history at a board that's "not for the weak of heart" makes you feel strong. When you first jumped on the bandwagon of "let's fuck with Halo" months back you said "look at the dates and post count we've got! You want respect, EARN respect". Your words. Nobody overthere respects you Pro. They don't even know the meaning of the word and neither do you.


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Captain Zzap
Posted: May 27 2008, 11:58 PM
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I understand what you're saying, Pro, and I agree with much of it. I don't take this stuff seriously; that's why it was in my "plans" for the Insurgents not to defend me. It's a waste of time and as I said in the message, there is literally nothing that you or rex or anyone could say that would affect me at all.

However, and you knew there had to be a however, whomod is a friend. I do know his real name and the names of his wife and daughter. I don't know the level of interaction you have with your "friends" on line, but mine tend to run a bit deeper than most. Especially with some of the posters here, whomod among them because of our similar political leanings. Additionally, as you can tell, I am very much admired ( rolleyes.gif ) by the people who post here and for them to undertake such an attempt at raiding the RKMB's, would have needed my buy in ( wink.gif )

I do take my responsibilites as a Co-Admin here fairly seriously and don't wish to see anything bad happen to either the board or the posters.

Again, I appreciate you sharing your philosophy with me, we just have different interpretations of it.

Fair warning, I will continue to support the members here in almost any way possible.

Also, if it turns out that you or someone from the RKMB's hacked into an account or other such thing, I'm going to have to ban you. No hypocrisy, we don't have an actual rule one way or the other. It just never came up as something we ever thought or worried about. This decision is mine and mine alone; only Iggy would be able to overrule me, but I don't want folks willing to hack into an account just to get some jollies running around here. As you say, none of this is really any big deal in the "real world", so it should also not have any affect here.

So, for the record, please tell me how you got into the password protected forums.

Zzap!


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Prometheus
Posted: May 28 2008, 12:02 AM
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QUOTE (Halo82 @ May 27 2008, 11:57 PM)
QUOTE (Prometheus @ May 27 2008, 10:54 PM)
Yes Halo. That is it. You clever, clever man. It's all so obvious. I sucked up to Joe to get in good with him. Right. Naturally. The only way that could possibly make no sense would be if he and I had already been friends for almost five years now.

Oh. Wait. We have been. doh.gif

No, I think you sucked up to Joe because being friends with guys like that makes you feel special. Being a member with a long history at a board that's "not for the weak of heart" makes you feel strong. When you first jumped on the bandwagon of "let's fuck with Halo" months back you said "look at the dates and post count we've got! You want respect, EARN respect". Your words. Nobody overthere respects you Pro. They don't even know the meaning of the word and neither do you.

LOL! Well, since you've gone completely mental, and around the bend, let's just say it's obvious to all parties involved that you are clueless, my friend. And, I suppose we've reached an impasse. Don't let it be said I didn't try to give you ever available amount of reason and patience...


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Prometheus
Posted: May 28 2008, 12:06 AM
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Oh for the record? One of your own gave it to me. Just like before.

And for the record? If you and Whomod are such close buds, where the fuck is he? Why isn't he defending himself over there? Why is he only using alts?

Also, too bad you are so blinded by friendship that you would take sides. Watch out! Halo will come down on you like a sack of bricks for that! laugh.gif

See ya' on the field boys... tongue.gif
Yeah yeah, "you've won the battle but not the war".
I could care one way or the other for Halo. Zzap I saw through on her/his first post. Machismo has potential, too bad s/he is "fighting" for a wimp.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82

Well I'm not like you morons who tell yourselves your winning even though...you're not.




 Originally Posted By: Halo82

Just a flesh wound...Tis but a scratch...Awright... we'll call it a draw.
 Quote:
Fair warning, I will continue to support the members here in almost any way possible.



pro, wtf man, you had fair warning, and yet you continue to put yourself in harms way. are you a suicide case?
 Originally Posted By: Halo82 in a message to Prometheus

You sound like an abuse victim who makes the same excuses over and over. "Oh, he doesn't really mean anything by it" ...You all are idiots. Not funny "HA HA" but funny "I can't believe anybody is that dumb".


On the bright side, maybe this means that Halo is FINALLY taking the advice (s)he got on that legal forum and is realizing that whomod her finance is bad news.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
Well I'm not like you morons who tell yourselves your winning even though...you're not.


Heh, he can't even say that with a straight face! See? He hesitated before saying "you're not"!
That hesitation was a sob.
He's new at the whole "dramatic effect" thing.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
Are you oblivious or just apathetic to the fact you are pathetic? You sound like an abuse victim who makes the same excuses over and over. "Oh, he doesn't really mean anything by it" but instead you're like "you should just relax and join in the fun". You all are idiots. Not funny "HA HA" but funny "I can't believe anybody is that dumb".


 Originally Posted By: halo82
but that's the thing though, he didn't beat me. I was acting crazy that night... I was grabbing the steering wheel and I even took the keys out of the egnition.... the bruises I have are from him holding my wrists so I wouldn't grab the wheel. And the scratches are from when I fell outside, after stupidly getting out of the car saying I was gonna walk home... he was trying to get me home.
The stab wound he got, now he says he doesn't remember how he got it... he says he noticed it on the way home that night... he just assumed I did it... but I told him that I didn't.


 Originally Posted By: Halo82

You sound like an abuse victim who makes the same excuses over and over. "Oh, he doesn't really mean anything by it" ...You all are idiots. Not funny "HA HA" but funny "I can't believe anybody is that dumb".


Hey, that sounds familiar!
every strategy they have is shit we just come up with off the top of our heads....
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Halo82





 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: Jeremy
He's new at the whole "dramatic effect" thing.



no he isnt. thats what makes it sad... \:\(
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Halo82





 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
[quote=Halo82]Are you oblivious or just apathetic to the fact you are pathetic? You sound like an abuse victim who makes the same excuses over and over. "Oh, he doesn't really mean anything by it" but instead you're like "you should just relax and join in the fun". You all are idiots. Not funny "HA HA" but funny "I can't believe anybody is that dumb".


 Originally Posted By: halo82
but that's the thing though, he didn't beat me. I was acting crazy that night... I was grabbing the steering wheel and I even took the keys out of the egnition.... the bruises I have are from him holding my wrists so I wouldn't grab the wheel. And the scratches are from when I fell outside, after stupidly getting out of the car saying I was gonna walk home... he was trying to get me home.
The stab wound he got, now he says he doesn't remember how he got it... he says he noticed it on the way home that night... he just assumed I did it... but I told him that I didn't.


That might be funny if it was actually me and some broad who lives in Florida. You fuckers really make yourselves look dumb in your desperation to try and be funny.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
[quote=Halo82]Are you oblivious or just apathetic to the fact you are pathetic? You sound like an abuse victim who makes the same excuses over and over. "Oh, he doesn't really mean anything by it" but instead you're like "you should just relax and join in the fun". You all are idiots. Not funny "HA HA" but funny "I can't believe anybody is that dumb".


 Originally Posted By: halo82
but that's the thing though, he didn't beat me. I was acting crazy that night... I was grabbing the steering wheel and I even took the keys out of the egnition.... the bruises I have are from him holding my wrists so I wouldn't grab the wheel. And the scratches are from when I fell outside, after stupidly getting out of the car saying I was gonna walk home... he was trying to get me home.
The stab wound he got, now he says he doesn't remember how he got it... he says he noticed it on the way home that night... he just assumed I did it... but I told him that I didn't.






 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Halo82





 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Halo82





 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!



 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
[quote=Halo82]Are you oblivious or just apathetic to the fact you are pathetic? You sound like an abuse victim who makes the same excuses over and over. "Oh, he doesn't really mean anything by it" but instead you're like "you should just relax and join in the fun". You all are idiots. Not funny "HA HA" but funny "I can't believe anybody is that dumb".


 Originally Posted By: halo82
but that's the thing though, he didn't beat me. I was acting crazy that night... I was grabbing the steering wheel and I even took the keys out of the egnition.... the bruises I have are from him holding my wrists so I wouldn't grab the wheel. And the scratches are from when I fell outside, after stupidly getting out of the car saying I was gonna walk home... he was trying to get me home.
The stab wound he got, now he says he doesn't remember how he got it... he says he noticed it on the way home that night... he just assumed I did it... but I told him that I didn't.








Outwitted again. Damn
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Halo82





 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!





You fucking idiots realize we are all still there.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Halo82





 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!








 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Halo82





 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!












Moron.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
You fucking idiots realize we are all still there.


Only because your plan to run away was exposed!
haha!
 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
You fucking idiots realize we are all still there.


Only because your plan to run away was exposed!


My plan to...what? Nobody was gonna run away. If anything you should realize we are here for the long haul. Zzap was pissed off at some of our members but he distinctly said he'd still be a part of this.
 Originally Posted By: Captain Zapp
If things had gone according to my plan, we would have split off from the Insurgency and attacked from a new place.
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Halo82





 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
THEY RAN AWAY FROM THEIR OWN FORUMS!!!!!!!!!!








 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
 Originally Posted By: Captain Zapp
If things had gone according to my plan, we would have split off from the Insurgency and attacked from a new place.



 Quote:
I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.


This is sad, I'm seriously feeling a little bit of pity for him here.

I mean, this raid is funny and all, I'm sure their boards are.....okay.....or something like that....but dude, GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET AND SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOUR FRIEND!

Seriously, noone here will think less of you, in fact, we'll think less of you if you don't!



Now, that's basically why they've already failed (no, not the above quote) It's like that Vegas thing.

What happens on the Internet, stays in Vegas. Or something like that.
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 8:41 AM
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
You fucking idiots realize we are all still there.


Only because your plan to run away was exposed!


My plan to...what? Nobody was gonna run away. If anything you should realize we are here for the long haul. Zzap was pissed off at some of our members but he distinctly said he'd still be a part of this.



I think its great that he will be "raiding" us instead of being a good father and a good friend. Really tells you something about him doesn't it?
doesnt sticking around for the long haul mean theyve joined us?
Wel, any respect I had for Steve the Zzap has gone out the window.

I have altered my profile to remind him of the meaning of life.



....seriously.... Zzap, you don't know me at all. But I'm a dad and I don't let silly crap like this interfere in that, no matter what, and if I was divorced I would make doubly certain I wouldn't be messing up my time with kids.

Go and play with them in a park, for God's sake. This isn't worth it.
 Originally Posted By: rex
Who's post was this? I can't tell with all the weird code.


My comments in bold


 Quote:
Guys,

I’m out. I’m sorry, but if you can’t follow simple instructions like don’t go over there and post; just do reconnaissance, then there’s very little I can do to be effective as a leader.

Win

I know you’re all pissed at them and want to get some measure of revenge and defend yourselves and the Insurgency, but so far as I can tell, nothing good has been accomplished by going back over there except to give them targets to aim at.

What happened yesterday was bullshit. No question about it. It was a huge clusterfuck, but not something from which we couldn’t recover. In fact, it could have been turned to our advantage.

In a nutshell, my strategy was to let them burn themselves out on self congratulations and back patting for a couple of days while we took a breather ourselves and came up with a new plan of attack including a new board from which to congregate and attack.

Translation: Rex and bsams kicked our asses and we ran away. I'm a failure as a human being.

As some of you know, I had my friend, Rick Poulin, sign up at a gay website called JustUsBoys as Britneyspearsatemyshorts and start posting some really nasty shit. He was going to recruit several of his friends and have them sign on as rex, Captain Sammitch, Joe Mama, and others and have basically a huge bukkake fest on Rob. I’m talking photos, the works.

I really really love gay porn and this is my excuse to have in on my computer without anyone suspecting.

I contacted Starman and he agreed to help us. He used to be a member of Rob’s boards but had no allegiance to them and basically called them all a bunch of pricks. Starman is an incredibly bright guy and would have run rings around any and every person they have there. He would have filleted them without them even knowing it.

I'm guessing starman is another political tard? Anyone know who he is?

I’ve been busy doing recon, trying to keep up with everyone and trying to remember the fucking passwords when I change computers. Additionally, I’ve been taking notes on what they’ve been saying and, no surprise here, it makes no sense. They jump on us for betraying our values (i.e. “breaking” us), but they did the EXACT same thing, and I don’t think we did betray our values. Here’s what I mean: They claim to be a board with complete and total free speech, yet the alter posts, delete sigs, delete posts and a host of other “censorship” related things. Absolutely NOTHING like that was done at the Insurgency. Other than needing a registration approval, nothing has changed at our boards and as you all know, the registration approval was truly due to the SpamBots and porn posts.

I couldn't read any of that. My BS alarm went off once I started reading it.

Additionally I’ve been compiling a list of things we need to hit them on. Their advantage is not solely in greater numbers, it’s because they all hammer on the exact same thing over and over and over. Here’s an example, apparently Rob is actually gay. So, as their leader, they’re subservient to a gay man? Don’t think they’d like that very much. POUND THEM ON THAT. Same as the paragraph above; according to their own rules, they “broke” themselves without our having to do a thing except post about them. POUND ON THEIR HYPOCRISY. That “rex” person is gender confused; everyone refers to him as a “guy” yet in a post he told me straight out that he’s a girl. They all rag on Snarf; join them. They’re Republicans. POUND THEM ON THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.

I think I just found my new signature.

They keep mentioning all the money we’re generating for Rob. WHO THE FUCK CARES? Tell them you’re there to support your friend and fellow Insurgent, whomod. Grab the moral highground. Challenge them as fathers/mothers or sons/daughters about how they would feel if the positions were turned. They tell you they couldn’t care less if someone made a post as “bsamsdaughter”; call them fucking liars and ask them what they do care about if it isn’t family? What, I ask you, is a good response to that? I don’t see one.

I can't wait for this shit. There is no way they have the balls to pull this off.

Sikk, Iggy, I’ve got absolutely NO idea what you hope to gain by infiltrating them. At some opportune moment they’re going to expose a weakness and you’ll pounce on the opportunity? IMHO that’s unlikely at best. Besides, that’s already been exposed as part of our plan.

Guys! Guys! I'm still cool, right? You still like me, right?

You are NEVER going to win anything if you keep trying to address their each and every post individually. They’ve got you wandering around bumping into so many trees that you can’t even see the forest.

So, keep on doing whatever it is you’re doing. I’ll continue to support the effort and make my posts, keep I can’t lead people who won’t be led. I’m not going to dedicate the amount of time and effort I put in just to have everyone ignore it.

I am defeated.

I literally spent two days last week in my office not working like I should have been, but doing my best to get things together. Now my project is behind schedule and I’ll probably have to have my ex keep my kids this weekend so I can catch up instead of being with them. On last Wednesday morning, the father of a friend of mine passed away. He was a brilliant theoretical physicist whose work was developing mathematical formulas to accurately determine the size of craters caused by various types of nuclear explosives. I’d only met him a few times, but he was obviously a genius and a dear man. In the Jewish religion we have a 7 day period of mourning called Shivah and I’ve been going back and forth between my house, my friend’s house, her mother’s house and my office and logging in from various computers to keep track while taking part in the minyan’s (12 Jewish men all praying for the dead at the same time). Instead of enjoying my three day weekend and doing things I intended to, I spent virtually every available minute posting or planning.

So this guy had his friends dad die and instead of being with him he "raided" us? Now he won't see his kids this weekend because of this? We fucking have this guy by the balls. He is now and will always be our bitch.

It just isn’t worth it anymore. Little victories are nice, but it’s not going to add up to enough to have much effect. Besides, I’m concerned over the inevitable retaliation at the Insurgency. If things had gone according to my plan, we would have split off from the Insurgency and attacked from a new place. My first priority has to be to the Insurgency boards.

I’m not mad or angry at anyone, so there’s no need to apologize or defend your actions.

I’ll see you out there as soon as I can.

Steve



This guy is gone. There is no hope for him online or in real life. He fucked both up.


This might be our greatest victory ever.




Wow Good job BJ! This has to be one of the funniest things I've read here.


It's fun to smack Halotard around, see him post about the Insurgency's greatness and whatnot, and then read their own posts talking about retreats and quitting and whatnot. It makes me laugh at what a self-deluded little puppy he is. Though I'm not sure why they're using some of us as the excuse for frequenting gay porn sites. We're not gonna judge them for their gay porn love.
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama


It's fun to smack Halotard around, see him post about the Insurgency's greatness and whatnot, and then read their own posts talking about retreats and quitting and whatnot. It makes me laugh at what a self-deluded little puppy he is. Though I'm not sure why they're using some of us as the excuse for frequenting gay porn sites. We're not gonna judge them for their gay porn love.


When have I ever said the Insurgency is great? I just think it's better cause we're not a bunch of callous fucks who have to mess with a guys kid cause you can't make an intellectual argument. We don't obsess over the guys who we "chased away". You're the one who has to constantly tell himself how great he is cause he "owns" someone else.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama


It's fun to smack Halotard around, see him post about the Insurgency's greatness and whatnot, and then read their own posts talking about retreats and quitting and whatnot. It makes me laugh at what a self-deluded little puppy he is. Though I'm not sure why they're using some of us as the excuse for frequenting gay porn sites. We're not gonna judge them for their gay porn love.


When have I ever said the Insurgency is great? I just think it's better cause we're not a bunch of callous fucks who have to mess with a guys kid cause you can't make an intellectual argument. We don't obsess over the guys who we "chased away". You're the one who has to constantly tell himself how great he is cause he "owns" someone else.


Don't turn on your "friends" now, puppy. Just because they realize that you and your "raid" are lost causes doesn't give you the right to talk shit about them. Maybe if you had spent less time gagging on your toothbrush and doing more than just stabbing Sikkbones' asshole - maybe a bit of research on these boards - you and yours wouldn't be getting trounced so handily.

 Originally Posted By: First Amongst Daves
Wel, any respect I had for Steve the Zzap has gone out the window.

I have altered my profile to remind him of the meaning of life.



....seriously.... Zzap, you don't know me at all. But I'm a dad and I don't let silly crap like this interfere in that, no matter what, and if I was divorced I would make doubly certain I wouldn't be messing up my time with kids.

Go and play with them in a park, for God's sake. This isn't worth it.


Well said.
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama


It's fun to smack Halotard around, see him post about the Insurgency's greatness and whatnot, and then read their own posts talking about retreats and quitting and whatnot. It makes me laugh at what a self-deluded little puppy he is. Though I'm not sure why they're using some of us as the excuse for frequenting gay porn sites. We're not gonna judge them for their gay porn love.


When have I ever said the Insurgency is great? I just think it's better cause we're not a bunch of callous fucks who have to mess with a guys kid cause you can't make an intellectual argument. We don't obsess over the guys who we "chased away". You're the one who has to constantly tell himself how great he is cause he "owns" someone else.


Don't turn on your "friends" now, puppy. Just because they realize that you and your "raid" are lost causes doesn't give you the right to talk shit about them. Maybe if you had spent less time gagging on your toothbrush and doing more than just stabbing Sikkbones' asshole - maybe a bit of research on these boards - you and yours wouldn't be getting trounced so handily.





Trounced? Bitch, you guys got into our secret board and found out our plans. That's all. And even with that advantage you all are still too dumb to come up with something better then some dream about me and my toothbrush. And I'm not the one who was up Sikks ass. I hear you were sending him pms that were fixated on me. Not that I blame you but don't you think you should find someone who shares your feelings?
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama


It's fun to smack Halotard around, see him post about the Insurgency's greatness and whatnot, and then read their own posts talking about retreats and quitting and whatnot. It makes me laugh at what a self-deluded little puppy he is. Though I'm not sure why they're using some of us as the excuse for frequenting gay porn sites. We're not gonna judge them for their gay porn love.


When have I ever said the Insurgency is great? I just think it's better cause we're not a bunch of callous fucks who have to mess with a guys kid cause you can't make an intellectual argument. We don't obsess over the guys who we "chased away". You're the one who has to constantly tell himself how great he is cause he "owns" someone else.


Don't turn on your "friends" now, puppy. Just because they realize that you and your "raid" are lost causes doesn't give you the right to talk shit about them. Maybe if you had spent less time gagging on your toothbrush and doing more than just stabbing Sikkbones' asshole - maybe a bit of research on these boards - you and yours wouldn't be getting trounced so handily.





Trounced? Bitch, you guys got into our secret board and found out our plans. That's all. And even with that advantage you all are still too dumb to come up with something better then some dream about me and my toothbrush. And I'm not the one who was up Sikks ass. I hear you were sending him pms that were fixated on me. Not that I blame you but don't you think you should find someone who shares your feelings?




Is that what he was telling you while you swabbed his poopdeck?

You guys set up a forum so you could lick your wounds, whine about your botched "raid," and make plans to hit some gay porn sites. You set it up so we wouldn't see it or have access. We gained access anyways. You lost. Just part of your trouncing. Thank God you're here and not in Iraq, Halotard. You'd probably kill your whole platoon in a dyslexia-tinged rage.

Y'know folks, I've been thinking a bit here, and please stop me if I'm giving the insurgents intelligence too much credit here.

This getting access to their secret forums, it all seems a bit too convenient. Are we being duped here? Is that actually their REAL plan? Do they have a another secret forum

Are we being played? Are we walking into the trap? are we setting ourselves up fo......

nah, on second thought, I think that really IS giving them too much credit ;\)
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama


It's fun to smack Halotard around, see him post about the Insurgency's greatness and whatnot, and then read their own posts talking about retreats and quitting and whatnot. It makes me laugh at what a self-deluded little puppy he is. Though I'm not sure why they're using some of us as the excuse for frequenting gay porn sites. We're not gonna judge them for their gay porn love.


When have I ever said the Insurgency is great? I just think it's better cause we're not a bunch of callous fucks who have to mess with a guys kid cause you can't make an intellectual argument. We don't obsess over the guys who we "chased away". You're the one who has to constantly tell himself how great he is cause he "owns" someone else.


Don't turn on your "friends" now, puppy. Just because they realize that you and your "raid" are lost causes doesn't give you the right to talk shit about them. Maybe if you had spent less time gagging on your toothbrush and doing more than just stabbing Sikkbones' asshole - maybe a bit of research on these boards - you and yours wouldn't be getting trounced so handily.





Trounced? Bitch, you guys got into our secret board and found out our plans. That's all. And even with that advantage you all are still too dumb to come up with something better then some dream about me and my toothbrush. And I'm not the one who was up Sikks ass. I hear you were sending him pms that were fixated on me. Not that I blame you but don't you think you should find someone who shares your feelings?




Is that what he was telling you while you swabbed his poopdeck?

You guys set up a forum so you could lick your wounds, whine about your botched "raid," and make plans to hit some gay porn sites. You set it up so we wouldn't see it or have access. We gained access anyways. You lost. Just part of your trouncing. Thank God you're here and not in Iraq, Halotard. You'd probably kill your whole platoon in a dyslexia-tinged rage.



I'm sure you like the idea of us licking ourselves but that's not the case. We had a secret forum where we could A)shoot the shit without you morons coming in and B) make plans. I know I know, you're going to stick with the self serving point of view that we "licked our wounds". I'm just curious if you ever wonder what reality is like?
Every excuse you make just makes you look more stupid. That's why the rest of Insurgency has abandoned you. Now go lie down, li'l puppy! You need a nap.

 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama


It's fun to smack Halotard around, see him post about the Insurgency's greatness and whatnot, and then read their own posts talking about retreats and quitting and whatnot. It makes me laugh at what a self-deluded little puppy he is. Though I'm not sure why they're using some of us as the excuse for frequenting gay porn sites. We're not gonna judge them for their gay porn love.


When have I ever said the Insurgency is great? I just think it's better cause we're not a bunch of callous fucks who have to mess with a guys kid cause you can't make an intellectual argument. We don't obsess over the guys who we "chased away". You're the one who has to constantly tell himself how great he is cause he "owns" someone else.


Don't turn on your "friends" now, puppy. Just because they realize that you and your "raid" are lost causes doesn't give you the right to talk shit about them. Maybe if you had spent less time gagging on your toothbrush and doing more than just stabbing Sikkbones' asshole - maybe a bit of research on these boards - you and yours wouldn't be getting trounced so handily.





Trounced? Bitch, you guys got into our secret board and found out our plans. That's all. And even with that advantage you all are still too dumb to come up with something better then some dream about me and my toothbrush. And I'm not the one who was up Sikks ass. I hear you were sending him pms that were fixated on me. Not that I blame you but don't you think you should find someone who shares your feelings?




Is that what he was telling you while you swabbed his poopdeck?

You guys set up a forum so you could lick your wounds, whine about your botched "raid," and make plans to hit some gay porn sites. You set it up so we wouldn't see it or have access. We gained access anyways. You lost. Just part of your trouncing. Thank God you're here and not in Iraq, Halotard. You'd probably kill your whole platoon in a dyslexia-tinged rage.



I sure like the idea of us licking ourselves but that's not the case (only Whomod and myself do that). We had a secret forum where we could A)shoot the shit without you morons coming in and B) make plans. I know I know, you're going to stick with the self serving point of view that we "licked our wounds". I'm just curious if you ever wonder what reality is like?
Whomod is my dream boy.

I dont even wanna know what Whomod tastes like, so please stop telling us all about your gay romps with him.
 Originally Posted By: Chant
Y'know folks, I've been thinking a bit here, and please stop me if I'm giving the insurgents intelligence too much credit here.

This getting access to their secret forums, it all seems a bit too convenient. Are we being duped here? Is that actually their REAL plan? Do they have a another secret forum

Are we being played? Are we walking into the trap? are we setting ourselves up fo......

nah, on second thought, I think that really IS giving them too much credit ;\)


im ashamed of you for even giving it a first thought
Posted By: Chant Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 10:03 PM
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
 Originally Posted By: Chant
Y'know folks, I've been thinking a bit here, and please stop me if I'm giving the insurgents intelligence too much credit here.

This getting access to their secret forums, it all seems a bit too convenient. Are we being duped here? Is that actually their REAL plan? Do they have a another secret forum

Are we being played? Are we walking into the trap? are we setting ourselves up fo......

nah, on second thought, I think that really IS giving them too much credit ;\)


I know, I know...I guess there's no hope for me anymore
im ashamed of you for even giving it a first thought
 Originally Posted By: Chant
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
 Originally Posted By: Chant
Y'know folks, I've been thinking a bit here, and please stop me if I'm giving the insurgents intelligence too much credit here.

This getting access to their secret forums, it all seems a bit too convenient. Are we being duped here? Is that actually their REAL plan? Do they have a another secret forum

Are we being played? Are we walking into the trap? are we setting ourselves up fo......

nah, on second thought, I think that really IS giving them too much credit ;\)



im ashamed of you for even giving it a first thought


I know, I know...I guess there's no hope for me anymore



im hoping thats how thats supposed to read...
Posted By: Chant Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 10:09 PM
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
 Originally Posted By: Chant
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
 Originally Posted By: Chant
Y'know folks, I've been thinking a bit here, and please stop me if I'm giving the insurgents intelligence too much credit here.

This getting access to their secret forums, it all seems a bit too convenient. Are we being duped here? Is that actually their REAL plan? Do they have a another secret forum

Are we being played? Are we walking into the trap? are we setting ourselves up fo......

nah, on second thought, I think that really IS giving them too much credit ;\)



im ashamed of you for even giving it a first thought


I know, I know...I guess there's no hope for me anymore



im hoping thats how thats supposed to read...


That's what I'm saying, there's no hope...
no. dont give up hope. itll make you look weak infront of the insurgence
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
no. dont give up hope. itll make you look weak infront of the insurgence


And they can smell their own...
Posted By: Grimm Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 10:29 PM
they quite enjoy smelling their own.
IN THE ASS!!!
Posted By: Chant Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-28 10:39 PM
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
no. dont give up hope. itll make you look weak infront of the insurgence


Isn't that relative? I mean, I might appear weak to some, but strong to others...
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
Thank God you're here and not in Iraq, Halotard. You'd probably kill your whole platoon in a dyslexia-tinged rage.


Or get killed in a friendly fire 'accident,' ala Douglas Niedermeyer.






NOTE: to avoid the inevitable crying jag, please take note that I'm not hoping for Halo's death, simply expressing my opinion as to the unfortunate likelihood of it occuring in the circumstances described. No need to create a "ghost of Halo's platoon" or "Douglas C. Niedermeyer" alt or whatever hard charging plan of vengeance you might be contemplating there, missy.
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
no. dont give up hope. itll make you look weak infront of the insurgence


you all look weak in front of the sikkbone.
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!

 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?



harass = getting your ass handed to you on a platter.


dont believe me, there is a poll!
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



It's not his fault you morons were dumb enough to suck up to him. A fucking Canadian none the less.
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?



harass = getting your ass handed to you on a platter.


dont believe me, there is a poll!


So you admit getting your ass handed to you? Excellent.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!






Posted By: Chant Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-29 12:10 AM
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?



harass = getting your ass handed to you on a platter.


dont believe me, there is a poll!


So you admit getting your ass handed to you? Excellent.




 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?


Wait...I thought someone had "stolen" your ID over there and had "replaced" you?
Well, you are the most original of all these unoriginal fucks. But the fact you think these unoriginal fucks are funny makes you a dumb fuck too.
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?


Wait...I thought someone had "stolen" your ID over there and had "replaced" you?


He lied, stupid. Get with the program.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?



harass = getting your ass handed to you on a platter.


dont believe me, there is a poll!


So you admit getting your ass handed to you? Excellent.


here conmes the images agian.. they must have rubn out of intelligent and witty things to say.

next we will have a sikkbone's daughter alter i'm sure... wait.. nevermi...
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Quote:
Fair warning, I will continue to support the members here in almost any way possible.



pro, wtf man, you had fair warning, and yet you continue to put yourself in harms way. are you a suicide case?


I've nothing to live for, basams. Halo pointed out that no one likes me, and that my sycophantic ways have only lead to being brainwashed by everyone here to not take the internet seriously. I don't take the net seriously, basams!! How could I have been so BLIND?!
Posted By: Chant Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-29 12:15 AM
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
Well, you are the most original of all these unoriginal fucks. But the fact you think these unoriginal fucks are funny makes you a dumb fuck too.


gaadyyyh....
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?


Wait...I thought someone had "stolen" your ID over there and had "replaced" you?





 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?


Wait...I thought someone had "stolen" your ID over there and had "replaced" you?


He lied, stupid. Get with the program.


actually it was acting... and it was lousy acting.
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?



harass = getting your ass handed to you on a platter.


dont believe me, there is a poll!


So you admit getting your ass handed to you? Excellent.


here conmes the images agian.. they must have rubn out of intelligent and witty things to say.

next we will have a sikkbone's daughter alter i'm sure... wait.. nevermi...


Maybe they'll make a "Sikkbones the Betrayer" alt. Or "Sikkbones the false prophet".
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?


Wait...I thought someone had "stolen" your ID over there and had "replaced" you?







Look at this clever bitch.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?



harass = getting your ass handed to you on a platter.


dont believe me, there is a poll!


So you admit getting your ass handed to you? Excellent.


here conmes the images agian.. they must have rubn out of intelligent and witty things to say.

next we will have a sikkbone's daughter alter i'm sure... wait.. nevermi...


Maybe they'll make a "Sikkbones the Betrayer" alt. Or "Sikkbones the false prophet".


you haven't seen black machismo's daughter yet have you? it's almost funny because it's such a fail on a massive level.

they have a one note insult and thats it.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?


Wait...I thought someone had "stolen" your ID over there and had "replaced" you?


He lied, stupid. Get with the program.


OHS NOES! I've been duped!

Basams! What do I do? They tricked me! I could not see through their cunning plan and now I will be defeated in a poll! WHHHHYYYYY?????!!




Yeah chief. Like a three-year-old couldn't read the insinuation from my use of quotations. Am I going too fast for you?
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
actually it was acting... and it was lousy acting.


Well, you could have gotten away with it on something like, say, Smallville. But, they would have just laughed you off the set on shows like The Shield...
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?



harass = getting your ass handed to you on a platter.


dont believe me, there is a poll!


So you admit getting your ass handed to you? Excellent.


here conmes the images agian.. they must have rubn out of intelligent and witty things to say.

next we will have a sikkbone's daughter alter i'm sure... wait.. nevermi...


Maybe they'll make a "Sikkbones the Betrayer" alt. Or "Sikkbones the false prophet".


you haven't seen black machismo's daughter yet have you? it's almost funny because it's such a fail on a massive level.

they have a one note insult and thats it.



well someone beat us to the Bonanza alts \:\(
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: britneyspearsatemyshorts
oh no not sikkbone!


wait isnt he one of the people we made look like an idiot? yes, i believe he was!



how and when did you make me look like an idiot when i've been busy harrassing you and the rest of the mental midget majority over here?


Wait...I thought someone had "stolen" your ID over there and had "replaced" you?


He lied, stupid. Get with the program.


OHS NOES! I've been duped!

Basams! What do I do? They tricked me! I could not see through their cunning plan and now I will be defeated in a poll! WHHHHYYYYY?????!!




Yeah chief. Like a three-year-old couldn't read the insinuation from my use of quotations. Am I going too fast for you?



"Oh noes" where have I seen that before. OH YEAh, your lord and master used it twice this morning when he found out Sikk wasn't going to be his best friend. You bitch about me not getting your insinuation but you didn't get mine? Not that I really believe you were insinuating.
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
actually it was acting... and it was lousy acting.


Well, you could have gotten away with it on something like, say, Smallville. But, they would have just laughed you off the set on shows like The Shield...


This from the asshole who fell for it? Does that mean you are an dumber then the people who write Smallville and Shield cause I don't think I can think of anything more insulting then that.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
actually it was acting... and it was lousy acting.


Well, you could have gotten away with it on something like, say, Smallville. But, they would have just laughed you off the set on shows like The Shield...





Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-29 12:24 AM
Are you insulting the Shield? Than you truly are a retard. Take those three IQ points away right now. You don't deserve them.
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
actually it was acting... and it was lousy acting.


Well, you could have gotten away with it on something like, say, Smallville. But, they would have just laughed you off the set on shows like The Shield...



yeah smallville has some shitty fucking actors don't it?
Posted By: rex Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-29 12:28 AM
Don't discuss TV shows with us, you'll upset craptain Zzap.
Posted By: Chant Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-29 12:35 AM
I can imagine that the insurgents thought of their "raid" as getting up on a huge slide and getting ready to go down it at full power. So they're sitting up there, making plans, thinking up schemes and rubbing their............hands.

Then they go down the slide. Down they go, building up momentum and unleashing all that energy, kinetic, thermal...........friction....

They're basically unleashing their anger on us.

Down the slide they go, faster and faster and even faster. Their MASSIVE attack is underway. And they're doing really, really well.

But as they get closer to the bottom they suddenly realize their mistake...

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

A

L

E

R

T

!

 Originally Posted By: Halo82
I told you idiots. I'm three IQ points above retarded.


Posted By: Chant Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-29 12:39 AM
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
I told you idiots. I'm three IQ points above retarded.




 Originally Posted By: Chant
I can imagine that the insurgents thought of their "raid" as getting up on a huge slide and getting ready to go down it at full power. So they're sitting up there, making plans, thinking up schemes and rubbing their............hands.

Then they go down the slide. Down they go, building up momentum and unleashing all that energy, kinetic, thermal...........friction....

They're basically unleashing their anger on us.

Down the slide they go, faster and faster and even faster. Their MASSIVE attack is underway. And they're doing really, really well.

But as they get closer to the bottom they suddenly realize their mistake...

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

A

L

E

R

T

!



 Originally Posted By: Halo82
"Oh noes" where have I seen that before. OH YEAh, your lord and master used it twice this morning when he found out Sikk wasn't going to be his best friend.


Whoa! My god. You really, actually keep track of what Joe Mama says and does, don't you? Like, down to the detail? Fuck. I think he's broken you worse than I've even seen basams normal victims. Wow. The obsession.

 Quote:
You bitch about me not getting your insinuation but you didn't get mine? Not that I really believe you were insinuating.


So, in your world, what you do is deny facts, and substitute yourself for the correct party? W-O-W.
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
"Oh noes" where have I seen that before. OH YEAh, your lord and master used it twice this morning when he found out Sikk wasn't going to be his best friend.


Whoa! My god. You really, actually keep track of what Joe Mama says and does, don't you? Like, down to the detail? Fuck. I think he's broken you worse than I've even seen basams normal victims. Wow. The obsession.

 Quote:
You bitch about me not getting your insinuation but you didn't get mine? Not that I really believe you were insinuating.


So, in your world, what you do is deny facts, and substitute yourself for the correct party? W-O-W.



 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
"Oh noes" where have I seen that before. OH YEAh, your lord and master used it twice this morning when he found out Sikk wasn't going to be his best friend.


Whoa! My god. You really, actually keep track of what Joe Mama says and does, don't you? Like, down to the detail? Fuck. I think he's broken you worse than I've even seen basams normal victims. Wow. The obsession.

 Quote:
You bitch about me not getting your insinuation but you didn't get mine? Not that I really believe you were insinuating.


So, in your world, what you do is deny facts, and substitute yourself for the correct party? W-O-W.



When he's not dreaming of stabbing Sikkbones' asshole (and more, according to him), Halotard's watching my posts closely and printing them out for posterity.
there are one click image tags on this board
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
actually it was acting... and it was lousy acting.


Well, you could have gotten away with it on something like, say, Smallville. But, they would have just laughed you off the set on shows like The Shield...


This from the asshole who fell for it? Does that mean you are an dumber then the people who write Smallville and Shield cause I don't think I can think of anything more insulting then that.


...can...can you hear yourself? Do you every actually read and think through what you are replying with, or is it just absolute, gut instinct? Kind of like, a froth of angry words thrown together because, possibly phonetically, they somehow instill in you a sense of accomplishment or victory? Because, sister, you have 'The Stupid'. And that doesn't have any place in an adult conversation...
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
actually it was acting... and it was lousy acting.


Well, you could have gotten away with it on something like, say, Smallville. But, they would have just laughed you off the set on shows like The Shield...


This from the asshole who fell for it? Does that mean you are an dumber then the people who write Smallville and Shield cause I don't think I can think of anything more insulting then that.


...can...can you hear yourself? Do you every actually read and think through what you are replying with, or is it just absolute, gut instinct? Kind of like, a froth of angry words thrown together because, possibly phonetically, they somehow instill in you a sense of accomplishment or victory? Because, sister, you have 'The Stupid'. And that doesn't have any place in an adult conversation...




He suffers from dyslexia and Acute Oakleyism. And he infected Sikkbones with the latter.
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
"Oh noes" where have I seen that before. OH YEAh, your lord and master used it twice this morning when he found out Sikk wasn't going to be his best friend.


Whoa! My god. You really, actually keep track of what Joe Mama says and does, don't you? Like, down to the detail? Fuck. I think he's broken you worse than I've even seen basams normal victims. Wow. The obsession.

 Quote:
You bitch about me not getting your insinuation but you didn't get mine? Not that I really believe you were insinuating.


So, in your world, what you do is deny facts, and substitute yourself for the correct party? W-O-W.



When he's not dreaming of stabbing Sikkbones' asshole (and more, according to him), Halotard's watching my posts closely and printing them out for posterity.


 Originally Posted By: Chant
I can imagine that the insurgents thought of their "raid" as getting up on a huge slide and getting ready to go down it at full power. So they're sitting up there, making plans, thinking up schemes and rubbing their............hands.

Then they go down the slide. Down they go, building up momentum and unleashing all that energy, kinetic, thermal...........friction....

They're basically unleashing their anger on us.

Down the slide they go, faster and faster and even faster. Their MASSIVE attack is underway. And they're doing really, really well.

But as they get closer to the bottom they suddenly realize their mistake...

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

A

L

E

R

T

!



That is one of the funniest things you've ever posted, Chant!



Oh shit! Wait. I wasn't supposed to enjoy something you posted, because Halo says that makes me a suck-up and/or a sycophant. Gosh...I never know when it's okay to like what someone says and when it's not. I wish Halo would teach me how to have an opinion of his own...
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo




God I'll be glad when that fuck is out of office...
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
they must have rubn out of intelligent and witty things to say.


heh!
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
you haven't seen black machismo's daughter yet have you? it's almost funny because it's such a fail on a massive level.

they have a one note insult and thats it.


We shouldn't we do that again? We did it once and it got you guys to come here and play with us!
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo








I'm glad Zzap's idea about copying our ultra-secret "repetitive image" tactic wasn't wasted.
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo




Someone tell TK-069 that someone's stealing his bit!







They also took his idea for making fake Magic The Gathering cards!
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
they must have rubn out of intelligent and witty things to say.


heh!


I think it's funny too. You Whores never had anything intelligent to say.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
You Whores never had anything intelligent to say.


Neither did your kid when I was shoving my giant dick down it's throat.
i'm sikk's son, halo's his bitch!!!
and all of you are my buttplugs!
it's not the first time mt daddy let his friends use me for their perversions
 Originally Posted By: Chant
I can imagine that the insurgents thought of their "raid" as getting up on a huge slide and getting ready to go down it at full power. So they're sitting up there, making plans, thinking up schemes and rubbing their............hands.

Then they go down the slide. Down they go, building up momentum and unleashing all that energy, kinetic, thermal...........friction....

They're basically unleashing their anger on us.

Down the slide they go, faster and faster and even faster. Their MASSIVE attack is underway. And they're doing really, really well.

But as they get closer to the bottom they suddenly realize their mistake...

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

A

L

E

R

T

!








it's like graduation day for Chant, Jeremy, Rex, and Sammitch!
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
"Oh noes" where have I seen that before. OH YEAh, your lord and master used it twice this morning when he found out Sikk wasn't going to be his best friend.


Whoa! My god. You really, actually keep track of what Joe Mama says and does, don't you? Like, down to the detail? Fuck. I think he's broken you worse than I've even seen basams normal victims. Wow. The obsession.

 Quote:
You bitch about me not getting your insinuation but you didn't get mine? Not that I really believe you were insinuating.


So, in your world, what you do is deny facts, and substitute yourself for the correct party? W-O-W.




Pro, you were here for the Parallax discussion, right?
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
"Oh noes" where have I seen that before. OH YEAh, your lord and master used it twice this morning when he found out Sikk wasn't going to be his best friend.


Whoa! My god. You really, actually keep track of what Joe Mama says and does, don't you? Like, down to the detail? Fuck. I think he's broken you worse than I've even seen basams normal victims. Wow. The obsession.

 Quote:
You bitch about me not getting your insinuation but you didn't get mine? Not that I really believe you were insinuating.


So, in your world, what you do is deny facts, and substitute yourself for the correct party? W-O-W.



Are you really gonna make the "you keep track of what so and so says" argument with me when all you assholes linger on everything I say? If that's obsession then you really need to take a look at your fellow whores. Not to mention that just cause somebody remembers hearing (or in this case seeing) somebody say something all that means is...they have a memory.

Are you really that desperate that you'll accuse me of having my own world just cause I think you are full of shit? Is that what it takes for someone to not buy what you are selling? There's something wrong with a person that doesn't believe you? You're not unassailable Pro'.
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
"Oh noes" where have I seen that before. OH YEAh, your lord and master used it twice this morning when he found out Sikk wasn't going to be his best friend.


Whoa! My god. You really, actually keep track of what Joe Mama says and does, don't you? Like, down to the detail? Fuck. I think he's broken you worse than I've even seen basams normal victims. Wow. The obsession.

 Quote:
You bitch about me not getting your insinuation but you didn't get mine? Not that I really believe you were insinuating.


So, in your world, what you do is deny facts, and substitute yourself for the correct party? W-O-W.




Pro, you were here for the Parallax discussion, right?


You mean when you and Joe got a bug up your ass and threw a tantrum cause I didn't agree with you and except your opinions as facts? When I dissproved your false examples and all you could do is get pissy with childish comments like "well I'm sick of trying to pound things into your thick skull".
yeah, that's exactly what I mean. thanks once again for proving who truly owns your pathetic asshole.
also, I'm too lazy to look for it, Halo brokeded by Grimm (again!) May 28, 2008.
NEVER FORGET
Posted By: Chant Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-29 10:33 AM
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Chant
I can imagine that the insurgents thought of their "raid" as getting up on a huge slide and getting ready to go down it at full power. So they're sitting up there, making plans, thinking up schemes and rubbing their............hands.

Then they go down the slide. Down they go, building up momentum and unleashing all that energy, kinetic, thermal...........friction....

They're basically unleashing their anger on us.

Down the slide they go, faster and faster and even faster. Their MASSIVE attack is underway. And they're doing really, really well.

But as they get closer to the bottom they suddenly realize their mistake...

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

A

L

E

R

T

!



That is one of the funniest things you've ever posted, Chant!



Oh shit! Wait. I wasn't supposed to enjoy something you posted, because Halo says that makes me a suck-up and/or a sycophant. Gosh...I never know when it's okay to like what someone says and when it's not. I wish Halo would teach me how to have an opinion of his own...


Thanks a bunch, I try, I try...

Though I must admit, I have a lot to learn from the masters yet
Thread = Heh
 Originally Posted By: Chant
I can imagine that the insurgents thought of their "raid" as getting up on a huge slide and getting ready to go down it at full power. So they're sitting up there, making plans, thinking up schemes and rubbing their............hands.

Then they go down the slide. Down they go, building up momentum and unleashing all that energy, kinetic, thermal...........friction....

They're basically unleashing their anger on us.

Down the slide they go, faster and faster and even faster. Their MASSIVE attack is underway. And they're doing really, really well.

But as they get closer to the bottom they suddenly realize their mistake...

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

A

L

E

R

T

!





Rack the fuck outta Chant!
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
yeah, that's exactly what I mean. thanks once again for proving who truly owns your pathetic asshole.




Everybody wants to own Halo. I'm so popular.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
 Originally Posted By: Prometheus
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
"Oh noes" where have I seen that before. OH YEAh, your lord and master used it twice this morning when he found out Sikk wasn't going to be his best friend.


Whoa! My god. You really, actually keep track of what Joe Mama says and does, don't you? Like, down to the detail? Fuck. I think he's broken you worse than I've even seen basams normal victims. Wow. The obsession.

 Quote:
You bitch about me not getting your insinuation but you didn't get mine? Not that I really believe you were insinuating.


So, in your world, what you do is deny facts, and substitute yourself for the correct party? W-O-W.




Pro, you were here for the Parallax discussion, right?





awww, Halo feels like a pretty princess now. he wants to try on Balloon Knot's tiara.
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
awww, Halo feels like a pretty princess now. he wants to try on Balloon Knot's tiara.


Actually I feel like a magnet for repressed homosexuals who are so insecure about their opinions they are completely intolerant of those who contradict them.
broken. you are so fucking owned. continue wanking and crying for us.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
awww, Halo feels like a pretty princess now. he wants to try on Balloon Knot's tiara.


Actually I feel like a magnet for repressed homosexuals who are so insecure about their opinions they are completely intolerant of those who contradict them.


You really shouldn't take shots at the Insurgents, no matter how bitter you are that they retreated and threw you to us.
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
awww, Halo feels like a pretty princess now. he wants to try on Balloon Knot's tiara.


Actually I feel like a magnet for repressed homosexuals who are so insecure about their opinions they are completely intolerant of those who contradict them.


You really shouldn't take shots at the Insurgents, no matter how bitter you are that they retreated and threw you to us.


You woulda been better saying "I am rubber and you are glue".
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
awww, Halo feels like a pretty princess now. he wants to try on Balloon Knot's tiara.


Actually I feel like a magnet for repressed homosexuals who are so insecure about their opinions they are completely intolerant of those who contradict them.


You really shouldn't take shots at the Insurgents, no matter how bitter you are that they retreated and threw you to us.


You woulda been better saying "I am rubber and you are glue".


I see you're not denying that the Insurgents retreated and threw you to us. Does your modship () lessen the pain of the fact that you're an acceptable loss to them?
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
awww, Halo feels like a pretty princess now. he wants to try on Balloon Knot's tiara.


Actually I feel like a magnet for repressed homosexuals who are so insecure about their opinions they are completely intolerant of those who contradict them.


You really shouldn't take shots at the Insurgents, no matter how bitter you are that they retreated and threw you to us.


You woulda been better saying "I am rubber and you are glue".


I see you're not denying that the Insurgents retreated and threw you to us. Does your modship () lessen the pain of the fact that you're an acceptable loss to them?


I didn't deny cause it wasn't in your post.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Joe Mama
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
awww, Halo feels like a pretty princess now. he wants to try on Balloon Knot's tiara.


Actually I feel like a magnet for repressed homosexuals who are so insecure about their opinions they are completely intolerant of those who contradict them.


You really shouldn't take shots at the Insurgents, no matter how bitter you are that they retreated and threw you to us.


You woulda been better saying "I am rubber and you are glue".


I see you're not denying that the Insurgents retreated and threw you to us. Does your modship () lessen the pain of the fact that you're an acceptable loss to them?


I didn't deny cause it wasn't in your post.


Man, that dyslexia is fucking with you!!!
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
Pro, you were here for the Parallax discussion, right?


I know, I know....but it's still just so baffling to me how disassociated with the real world he truly is. Sad, really.
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
Are you really gonna make the "you keep track of what so and so says" argument with me when all you assholes linger on everything I say? If that's obsession then you really need to take a look at your fellow whores. Not to mention that just cause somebody remembers hearing (or in this case seeing) somebody say something all that means is...they have a memory.


Listen, you got fucked on this one. Take your lumps, and move on. Don't whine. Don't try to wiggle out with semantics. You don't get a recount, I busted you wide with that one, and you know it. And, btw, notice I'm addressing you, specifically, Halo? Not the mediocre girls you hang out with over on your boards. I'm talking directly to you, about you. You, however, seem to throw me into the RKMBs as a whole whenever I push you into a corner. So fucking pay attention.

 Quote:
Are you really that desperate that you'll accuse me of having my own world just cause I think you are full of shit? Is that what it takes for someone to not buy what you are selling? There's something wrong with a person that doesn't believe you? You're not unassailable Halo.


Corrected your post to accurately reflect reality.

Posted By: PJP Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-30 12:48 AM
he's your prison bitch.
I call him 'Squeaky'...
he needs a new name. thats what I call sneaky...
But, see, I already call Sneaky "My Bitch". So, you can see the confusion here...
naturally. damn. we gotta start being more creative with nicknames...
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-05-30 1:53 AM
koko, the monkey?

High five!
That bastard Zzap better not be fucking around on these damn boards on the company dime again!
 Originally Posted By: Grimm
it's like graduation day for Chant, Jeremy, Rex, and Sammitch!


I didn't do nearly as much as, say, basams or reax, but I feel that what I did do - an adequate job on minimal effort - was much more characteristic. but yeah, that was the most fun I've had online in a long while. I learn from the best, you know.
Yer still a fatty fucker!
Poor Chewy!
i like this one
Just read it all.

I think they should change the name of their group to "the insignificancy".
Several of them refer to it as the "I" board. Can't think why...
 Originally Posted By: Halo82
the gaysurgery raid memorial wall will be incomplete without this thread.
25 pages about us.. you people really are pathetic eh?
I'm not sure what 'patehtic' means but whatever floats your boat, dude.
 Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch
I'm not sure what 'patehtic' means but whatever floats your boat, dude.


wow, you have to bitch about about a typo?
pretty fucking lame.. don't you people have lives or do you sit around jerking off to internet porn and obsessing about us?
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
25 pages about us.. you people really are pathetic eh?


How many threads/forums do you guys have about us?
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
25 pages about us.. you people really are pathetic eh?


How many threads/forums do you guys have about us?


you will notice i didn't start most of them.
they are too frightened to say. let the children of neglect continue their cycle of abuse over there. eventually they will succumb to old age and will be forgotten, unnoticed, unx=cared for souls.
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
25 pages about us.. you people really are pathetic eh?


How many threads/forums do you guys have about us?


you will notice i didn't start most of them.


In other words, you've fucked up again with your attempt at insulting us. Gotcha!
 Originally Posted By: starheartcollective
they are too frightened to say. let the children of neglect continue their cycle of abuse over there. eventually they will succumb to old age and will be forgotten, unnoticed, unx=cared for souls.


when you try to sound intelligent and try and spout philosophy you should really advoid the typos.

it makes you look like an idiot.
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: starheartcollective
they are too frightened to say. let the children of neglect continue their cycle of abuse over there. eventually they will succumb to old age and will be forgotten, unnoticed, unx=cared for souls.


when you try to sound intelligent and try and spout philosophy you should really advoid the typos.

it makes you look like an idiot.


whilst you look like an idiot naturally....
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
25 pages about us.. you people really are pathetic eh?


How many threads/forums do you guys have about us?


you will notice i didn't start most of them.



we also notice you didnt answer the question...
 Originally Posted By: K-nutreturns
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: thedoctor
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
25 pages about us.. you people really are pathetic eh?


How many threads/forums do you guys have about us?


you will notice i didn't start most of them.



we also notice you didnt answer the question...


Most of the, guys. Most of them.

Rretreat!!!
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: starheartcollective
they are too frightened to say. let the children of neglect continue their cycle of abuse over there. eventually they will succumb to old age and will be forgotten, unnoticed, unx=cared for souls.


when you try to sound intelligent and try and spout philosophy you should really advoid the typos.

it makes you look like an idiot.


I'm going to try "advoid" the next time I play online Scrabble.

Someone should tell Machismo its over. He's like one of those Japanese soldiers in the Pacific islands fighting years after the war ended.
 Originally Posted By: First Amongst Daves
 Originally Posted By: Black Machismo
 Originally Posted By: starheartcollective
they are too frightened to say. let the children of neglect continue their cycle of abuse over there. eventually they will succumb to old age and will be forgotten, unnoticed, unx=cared for souls.


when you try to sound intelligent and try and spout philosophy you should really advoid the typos.

it makes you look like an idiot.


I'm going to try "advoid" the next time I play online Scrabble.

Someone should tell Machismo its over. He's like one of those Japanese soldiers in the Pacific islands fighting years after the war ended.


yeah too bad the island is Hiroshima and we won?








Rellik's been kinda quiet lately, hasn't he?
I keep trying to highlight over his posts to see if it's in grey or something, but...I don't get it.
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:02 AM
 Originally Posted By: Yellow Blossum
I keep trying to highlight over his posts to see if it's in grey or something, but...I don't get it.


no no no, you mean "ITS BLINDING MEEEEEE"

(but, the "meee" in question is you, not me. for when you are saying it, in pain)
BLIIIIIIIND MEEEEEEEEELLLLLOOOOOOOON!!


Like that?
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:13 AM
i guess thats closer. i dont think its the desired response w&c is looking for, though. blind melon isn't even really a hardcore band, so its like its just not hitting the right area for you.

maybe... like... stare at the images he posts more? like those 3d images? i think thats what he wants.
I kind of see your face in the bottom left hand corner. Under the swan. See it?
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:15 AM
no no, thats a schooner
No, it's a sailboat.


Dumb ass.
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:19 AM
seeing at least that movie is the only thing that saved you from instant murderies
Gob this is embarrassing, but...what movie?



Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:25 AM
dont...

...dont you do that now...
Should I just, like, smack myself? Save you the trouble.
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:28 AM
how did you know the line and not the movie!

its maddening!

nowhere near on a par with murder, or nazis, or, like, posts of images, but still.
I didn't know it was a line from anything. It was just...a response that made sense...


Christ. I'm taking my tits and going home.
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:34 AM
mallrats, damnit, mallrats!

you are at least 3/16th animal now.

you can go.

but leave the tits!
 Originally Posted By: Rob Kamphausen
mallrats, damnit, mallrats!

you are at least 3/16th animal now.

you can go.

but leave the tits!



I pictured you as a West Side Story type asshole

CHAPTER 1
Marseilles -- The Arrival.

On the 24th of February, 1810, the look-out at Notre-Dame de
la Garde signalled the three-master, the Pharaon from
Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples.

As usual, a pilot put off immediately, and rounding the
Chateau d'If, got on board the vessel between Cape Morgion
and Rion island.

Immediately, and according to custom, the ramparts of Fort
Saint-Jean were covered with spectators; it is always an
event at Marseilles for a ship to come into port, especially
when this ship, like the Pharaon, has been built, rigged,
and laden at the old Phocee docks, and belongs to an owner
of the city.

The ship drew on and had safely passed the strait, which
some volcanic shock has made between the Calasareigne and
Jaros islands; had doubled Pomegue, and approached the
harbor under topsails, jib, and spanker, but so slowly and
sedately that the idlers, with that instinct which is the
forerunner of evil, asked one another what misfortune could
have happened on board. However, those experienced in
navigation saw plainly that if any accident had occurred, it
was not to the vessel herself, for she bore down with all
the evidence of being skilfully handled, the anchor
a-cockbill, the jib-boom guys already eased off, and
standing by the side of the pilot, who was steering the
Pharaon towards the narrow entrance of the inner port, was a
young man, who, with activity and vigilant eye, watched
every motion of the ship, and repeated each direction of the
pilot.

The vague disquietude which prevailed among the spectators
had so much affected one of the crowd that he did not await
the arrival of the vessel in harbor, but jumping into a
small skiff, desired to be pulled alongside the Pharaon,
which he reached as she rounded into La Reserve basin.

When the young man on board saw this person approach, he
left his station by the pilot, and, hat in hand, leaned over
the ship's bulwarks.

He was a fine, tall, slim young fellow of eighteen or
twenty, with black eyes, and hair as dark as a raven's wing;
and his whole appearance bespoke that calmness and
resolution peculiar to men accustomed from their cradle to
contend with danger.

"Ah, is it you, Dantes?" cried the man in the skiff. "What's
the matter? and why have you such an air of sadness aboard?"

"A great misfortune, M. Morrel," replied the young man, --
"a great misfortune, for me especially! Off Civita Vecchia
we lost our brave Captain Leclere."

"And the cargo?" inquired the owner, eagerly.

"Is all safe, M. Morrel; and I think you will be satisfied
on that head. But poor Captain Leclere -- "

"What happened to him?" asked the owner, with an air of
considerable resignation. "What happened to the worthy
captain?"

"He died."

"Fell into the sea?"

"No, sir, he died of brain-fever in dreadful agony." Then
turning to the crew, he said, "Bear a hand there, to take in
sail!"

All hands obeyed, and at once the eight or ten seamen who
composed the crew, sprang to their respective stations at
the spanker brails and outhaul, topsail sheets and halyards,
the jib downhaul, and the topsail clewlines and buntlines.
The young sailor gave a look to see that his orders were
promptly and accurately obeyed, and then turned again to the
owner.

"And how did this misfortune occur?" inquired the latter,
resuming the interrupted conversation.

"Alas, sir, in the most unexpected manner. After a long talk
with the harbor-master, Captain Leclere left Naples greatly
disturbed in mind. In twenty-four hours he was attacked by a
fever, and died three days afterwards. We performed the
usual burial service, and he is at his rest, sewn up in his
hammock with a thirty-six pound shot at his head and his
heels, off El Giglio island. We bring to his widow his sword
and cross of honor. It was worth while, truly," added the
young man with a melancholy smile, "to make war against the
English for ten years, and to die in his bed at last, like
everybody else."

"Why, you see, Edmond," replied the owner, who appeared more
comforted at every moment, "we are all mortal, and the old
must make way for the young. If not, why, there would be no
promotion; and since you assure me that the cargo -- "

"Is all safe and sound, M. Morrel, take my word for it; and
I advise you not to take 25,000 francs for the profits of
the voyage."

Then, as they were just passing the Round Tower, the young
man shouted: "Stand by there to lower the topsails and jib;
brail up the spanker!"

The order was executed as promptly as it would have been on
board a man-of-war.

"Let go -- and clue up!" At this last command all the sails
were lowered, and the vessel moved almost imperceptibly
onwards.

"Now, if you will come on board, M. Morrel," said Dantes,
observing the owner's impatience, "here is your supercargo,
M. Danglars, coming out of his cabin, who will furnish you
with every particular. As for me, I must look after the
anchoring, and dress the ship in mourning."

The owner did not wait for a second invitation. He seized a
rope which Dantes flung to him, and with an activity that
would have done credit to a sailor, climbed up the side of
the ship, while the young man, going to his task, left the
conversation to Danglars, who now came towards the owner. He
was a man of twenty-five or twenty-six years of age, of
unprepossessing countenance, obsequious to his superiors,
insolent to his subordinates; and this, in addition to his
position as responsible agent on board, which is always
obnoxious to the sailors, made him as much disliked by the
crew as Edmond Dantes was beloved by them.

"Well, M. Morrel," said Danglars, "you have heard of the
misfortune that has befallen us?"

"Yes -- yes: poor Captain Leclere! He was a brave and an
honest man."

"And a first-rate seaman, one who had seen long and
honorable service, as became a man charged with the
interests of a house so important as that of Morrel & Son,"
replied Danglars.

"But," replied the owner, glancing after Dantes, who was
watching the anchoring of his vessel, "it seems to me that a
sailor needs not be so old as you say, Danglars, to
understand his business, for our friend Edmond seems to
understand it thoroughly, and not to require instruction
from any one."

"Yes," said Danglars, darting at Edmond a look gleaming with
hate. "Yes, he is young, and youth is invariably
self-confident. Scarcely was the captain's breath out of his
body when he assumed the command without consulting any one,
and he caused us to lose a day and a half at the Island of
Elba, instead of making for Marseilles direct."

"As to taking command of the vessel," replied Morrel, "that
was his duty as captain's mate; as to losing a day and a
half off the Island of Elba, he was wrong, unless the vessel
needed repairs."

"The vessel was in as good condition as I am, and as, I hope
you are, M. Morrel, and this day and a half was lost from
pure whim, for the pleasure of going ashore, and nothing
else."

"Dantes," said the shipowner, turning towards the young man,
"come this way!"

"In a moment, sir," answered Dantes, "and I'm with you."
Then calling to the crew, he said -- "Let go!"

The anchor was instantly dropped, and the chain ran rattling
through the port-hole. Dantes continued at his post in spite
of the presence of the pilot, until this manoeuvre was
completed, and then he added, "Half-mast the colors, and
square the yards!"

"You see," said Danglars, "he fancies himself captain
already, upon my word."

"And so, in fact, he is," said the owner.

"Except your signature and your partner's, M. Morrel."

"And why should he not have this?" asked the owner; "he is
young, it is true, but he seems to me a thorough seaman, and
of full experience."

A cloud passed over Danglars' brow. "Your pardon, M.
Morrel," said Dantes, approaching, "the vessel now rides at
anchor, and I am at your service. You hailed me, I think?"

Danglars retreated a step or two. "I wished to inquire why
you stopped at the Island of Elba?"

"I do not know, sir; it was to fulfil the last instructions
of Captain Leclere, who, when dying, gave me a packet for
Marshal Bertrand."

"Then did you see him, Edmond?"

"Who?"

"The marshal."

"Yes."

Morrel looked around him, and then, drawing Dantes on one
side, he said suddenly -- "And how is the emperor?"

"Very well, as far as I could judge from the sight of him."

"You saw the emperor, then?"

"He entered the marshal's apartment while I was there."

"And you spoke to him?"

"Why, it was he who spoke to me, sir," said Dantes, with a
smile.

"And what did he say to you?"

"Asked me questions about the vessel, the time she left
Marseilles, the course she had taken, and what was her
cargo. I believe, if she had not been laden, and I had been
her master, he would have bought her. But I told him I was
only mate, and that she belonged to the firm of Morrel &
Son. `Ah, yes,' he said, `I know them. The Morrels have been
shipowners from father to son; and there was a Morrel who
served in the same regiment with me when I was in garrison
at Valence.'"

"Pardieu, and that is true!" cried the owner, greatly
delighted. "And that was Policar Morrel, my uncle, who was
afterwards a captain. Dantes, you must tell my uncle that
the emperor remembered him, and you will see it will bring
tears into the old soldier's eyes. Come, come," continued
he, patting Edmond's shoulder kindly, "you did very right,
Dantes, to follow Captain Leclere's instructions, and touch
at Elba, although if it were known that you had conveyed a
packet to the marshal, and had conversed with the emperor,
it might bring you into trouble."

"How could that bring me into trouble, sir?" asked Dantes;
"for I did not even know of what I was the bearer; and the
emperor merely made such inquiries as he would of the first
comer. But, pardon me, here are the health officers and the
customs inspectors coming alongside." And the young man went
to the gangway. As he departed, Danglars approached, and
said, --

"Well, it appears that he has given you satisfactory reasons
for his landing at Porto-Ferrajo?"

"Yes, most satisfactory, my dear Danglars."

"Well, so much the better," said the supercargo; "for it is
not pleasant to think that a comrade has not done his duty."

"Dantes has done his," replied the owner, "and that is not
saying much. It was Captain Leclere who gave orders for this
delay."

"Talking of Captain Leclere, has not Dantes given you a
letter from him?"

"To me? -- no -- was there one?"

"I believe that, besides the packet, Captain Leclere
confided a letter to his care."

"Of what packet are you speaking, Danglars?"

"Why, that which Dantes left at Porto-Ferrajo."

"How do you know he had a packet to leave at Porto-Ferrajo?"

Danglars turned very red.

"I was passing close to the door of the captain's cabin,
which was half open, and I saw him give the packet and
letter to Dantes."

"He did not speak to me of it," replied the shipowner; "but
if there be any letter he will give it to me."

Danglars reflected for a moment. "Then, M. Morrel, I beg of
you," said he, "not to say a word to Dantes on the subject.
I may have been mistaken."

At this moment the young man returned; Danglars withdrew.

"Well, my dear Dantes, are you now free?" inquired the
owner.

"Yes, sir."

"You have not been long detained."

"No. I gave the custom-house officers a copy of our bill of
lading; and as to the other papers, they sent a man off with
the pilot, to whom I gave them."

"Then you have nothing more to do here?"

"No -- everything is all right now."

"Then you can come and dine with me?"

"I really must ask you to excuse me, M. Morrel. My first
visit is due to my father, though I am not the less grateful
for the honor you have done me."

"Right, Dantes, quite right. I always knew you were a good
son."

"And," inquired Dantes, with some hesitation, "do you know
how my father is?"

"Well, I believe, my dear Edmond, though I have not seen him
lately."

"Yes, he likes to keep himself shut up in his little room."

"That proves, at least, that he has wanted for nothing
during your absence."

Dantes smiled. "My father is proud, sir, and if he had not a
meal left, I doubt if he would have asked anything from
anyone, except from Heaven."

"Well, then, after this first visit has been made we shall
count on you."

"I must again excuse myself, M. Morrel, for after this first
visit has been paid I have another which I am most anxious
to pay."

"True, Dantes, I forgot that there was at the Catalans some
one who expects you no less impatiently than your father --
the lovely Mercedes."

Dantes blushed.

"Ah, ha," said the shipowner, "I am not in the least
surprised, for she has been to me three times, inquiring if
there were any news of the Pharaon. Peste, Edmond, you have
a very handsome mistress!"

"She is not my mistress," replied the young sailor, gravely;
"she is my betrothed."

"Sometimes one and the same thing," said Morrel, with a
smile.

"Not with us, sir," replied Dantes.

"Well, well, my dear Edmond," continued the owner, "don't
let me detain you. You have managed my affairs so well that
I ought to allow you all the time you require for your own.
Do you want any money?"

"No, sir; I have all my pay to take -- nearly three months'
wages."

"You are a careful fellow, Edmond."

"Say I have a poor father, sir."

"Yes, yes, I know how good a son you are, so now hasten away
to see your father. I have a son too, and I should be very
wroth with those who detained him from me after a three
months' voyage."

"Then I have your leave, sir?"

"Yes, if you have nothing more to say to me."

"Nothing."

"Captain Leclere did not, before he died, give you a letter
for me?"

"He was unable to write, sir. But that reminds me that I
must ask your leave of absence for some days."

"To get married?"

"Yes, first, and then to go to Paris."

"Very good; have what time you require, Dantes. It will take
quite six weeks to unload the cargo, and we cannot get you
ready for sea until three months after that; only be back
again in three months, for the Pharaon," added the owner,
patting the young sailor on the back, "cannot sail without
her captain."

"Without her captain!" cried Dantes, his eyes sparkling with
animation; "pray mind what you say, for you are touching on
the most secret wishes of my heart. Is it really your
intention to make me captain of the Pharaon?"

"If I were sole owner we'd shake hands on it now, my dear
Dantes, and call it settled; but I have a partner, and you
know the Italian proverb -- Chi ha compagno ha padrone --
`He who has a partner has a master.' But the thing is at
least half done, as you have one out of two votes. Rely on
me to procure you the other; I will do my best."

"Ah, M. Morrel," exclaimed the young seaman, with tears in
his eyes, and grasping the owner's hand, "M. Morrel, I thank
you in the name of my father and of Mercedes."

"That's all right, Edmond. There's a providence that watches
over the deserving. Go to your father: go and see Mercedes,
and afterwards come to me."

"Shall I row you ashore?"

"No, thank you; I shall remain and look over the accounts
with Danglars. Have you been satisfied with him this
voyage?"

"That is according to the sense you attach to the question,
sir. Do you mean is he a good comrade? No, for I think he
never liked me since the day when I was silly enough, after
a little quarrel we had, to propose to him to stop for ten
minutes at the island of Monte Cristo to settle the dispute
-- a proposition which I was wrong to suggest, and he quite
right to refuse. If you mean as responsible agent when you
ask me the question, I believe there is nothing to say
against him, and that you will be content with the way in
which he has performed his duty."

"But tell me, Dantes, if you had command of the Pharaon
should you be glad to see Danglars remain?"

"Captain or mate, M. Morrel, I shall always have the
greatest respect for those who possess the owners'
confidence."

"That's right, that's right, Dantes! I see you are a
thoroughly good fellow, and will detain you no longer. Go,
for I see how impatient you are."

"Then I have leave?"

"Go, I tell you."

"May I have the use of your skiff?"

"Certainly."

"Then, for the present, M. Morrel, farewell, and a thousand
thanks!"

"I hope soon to see you again, my dear Edmond. Good luck to
you."

The young sailor jumped into the skiff, and sat down in the
stern sheets, with the order that he be put ashore at La
Canebiere. The two oarsmen bent to their work, and the
little boat glided away as rapidly as possible in the midst
of the thousand vessels which choke up the narrow way which
leads between the two rows of ships from the mouth of the
harbor to the Quai d'Orleans.

The shipowner, smiling, followed him with his eyes until he
saw him spring out on the quay and disappear in the midst of
the throng, which from five o'clock in the morning until
nine o'clock at night, swarms in the famous street of La
Canebiere, -- a street of which the modern Phocaeans are so
proud that they say with all the gravity in the world, and
with that accent which gives so much character to what is
said, "If Paris had La Canebiere, Paris would be a second
Marseilles." On turning round the owner saw Danglars behind
him, apparently awaiting orders, but in reality also
watching the young sailor, -- but there was a great
difference in the expression of the two men who thus
followed the movements of Edmond Dantes.

We will leave Danglars struggling with the demon of hatred,
and endeavoring to insinuate in the ear of the shipowner
some evil suspicions against his comrade, and follow Dantes,
who, after having traversed La Canebiere, took the Rue de
Noailles, and entering a small house, on the left of the
Allees de Meillan, rapidly ascended four flights of a dark
staircase, holding the baluster with one hand, while with
the other he repressed the beatings of his heart, and paused
before a half-open door, from which he could see the whole
of a small room.

This room was occupied by Dantes' father. The news of the
arrival of the Pharaon had not yet reached the old man, who,
mounted on a chair, was amusing himself by training with
trembling hand the nasturtiums and sprays of clematis that
clambered over the trellis at his window. Suddenly, he felt
an arm thrown around his body, and a well-known voice behind
him exclaimed, "Father -- dear father!"

The old man uttered a cry, and turned round; then, seeing
his son, he fell into his arms, pale and trembling.

"What ails you, my dearest father? Are you ill?" inquired
the young man, much alarmed.

"No, no, my dear Edmond -- my boy -- my son! -- no; but I
did not expect you; and joy, the surprise of seeing you so
suddenly -- Ah, I feel as if I were going to die."

"Come, come, cheer up, my dear father! 'Tis I -- really I!
They say joy never hurts, and so I came to you without any
warning. Come now, do smile, instead of looking at me so
solemnly. Here I am back again, and we are going to be
happy."

"Yes, yes, my boy, so we will -- so we will," replied the
old man; "but how shall we be happy? Shall you never leave
me again? Come, tell me all the good fortune that has
befallen you."

"God forgive me," said the young man, "for rejoicing at
happiness derived from the misery of others, but, Heaven
knows, I did not seek this good fortune; it has happened,
and I really cannot pretend to lament it. The good Captain
Leclere is dead, father, and it is probable that, with the
aid of M. Morrel, I shall have his place. Do you understand,
father? Only imagine me a captain at twenty, with a hundred
louis pay, and a share in the profits! Is this not more than
a poor sailor like me could have hoped for?"

"Yes, my dear boy," replied the old man, "it is very
fortunate."

"Well, then, with the first money I touch, I mean you to
have a small house, with a garden in which to plant
clematis, nasturtiums, and honeysuckle. But what ails you,
father? Are you not well?"

"'Tis nothing, nothing; it will soon pass away" -- and as he
said so the old man's strength failed him, and he fell
backwards.

"Come, come," said the young man, "a glass of wine, father,
will revive you. Where do you keep your wine?"

"No, no; thanks. You need not look for it; I do not want
it," said the old man.

"Yes, yes, father, tell me where it is," and he opened two
or three cupboards.

"It is no use," said the old man, "there is no wine."

"What, no wine?" said Dantes, turning pale, and looking
alternately at the hollow cheeks of the old man and the
empty cupboards. "What, no wine? Have you wanted money,
father?"

"I want nothing now that I have you," said the old man.

"Yet," stammered Dantes, wiping the perspiration from his
brow, -- "yet I gave you two hundred francs when I left,
three months ago."

"Yes, yes, Edmond, that is true, but you forgot at that time
a little debt to our neighbor, Caderousse. He reminded me of
it, telling me if I did not pay for you, he would be paid by
M. Morrel; and so, you see, lest he might do you an injury"
--

"Well?"

"Why, I paid him."

"But," cried Dantes, "it was a hundred and forty francs I
owed Caderousse."

"Yes," stammered the old man.

"And you paid him out of the two hundred francs I left you?"

The old man nodded.

"So that you have lived for three months on sixty francs,"
muttered Edmond.

"You know how little I require," said the old man.

"Heaven pardon me," cried Edmond, falling on his knees
before his father.

"What are you doing?"

"You have wounded me to the heart."

"Never mind it, for I see you once more," said the old man;
"and now it's all over -- everything is all right again."

"Yes, here I am," said the young man, "with a promising
future and a little money. Here, father, here!" he said,
"take this -- take it, and send for something immediately."
And he emptied his pockets on the table, the contents
consisting of a dozen gold pieces, five or six five-franc
pieces, and some smaller coin. The countenance of old Dantes
brightened.

"Whom does this belong to?" he inquired.

"To me, to you, to us! Take it; buy some provisions; be
happy, and to-morrow we shall have more."

"Gently, gently," said the old man, with a smile; "and by
your leave I will use your purse moderately, for they would
say, if they saw me buy too many things at a time, that I
had been obliged to await your return, in order to be able
to purchase them."

"Do as you please; but, first of all, pray have a servant,
father. I will not have you left alone so long. I have some
smuggled coffee and most capital tobacco, in a small chest
in the hold, which you shall have to-morrow. But, hush, here
comes somebody."

"'Tis Caderousse, who has heard of your arrival, and no
doubt comes to congratulate you on your fortunate return."

"Ah, lips that say one thing, while the heart thinks
another," murmured Edmond. "But, never mind, he is a
neighbor who has done us a service on a time, so he's
welcome."

As Edmond paused, the black and bearded head of Caderousse
appeared at the door. He was a man of twenty-five or six,
and held a piece of cloth, which, being a tailor, he was
about to make into a coat-lining.

"What, is it you, Edmond, back again?" said he, with a broad
Marseillaise accent, and a grin that displayed his
ivory-white teeth.

"Yes, as you see, neighbor Caderousse; and ready to be
agreeable to you in any and every way," replied Dantes, but
ill-concealing his coldness under this cloak of civility.

"Thanks -- thanks; but, fortunately, I do not want for
anything; and it chances that at times there are others who
have need of me." Dantes made a gesture. "I do not allude to
you, my boy. No! -- no! I lent you money, and you returned
it; that's like good neighbors, and we are quits."

"We are never quits with those who oblige us," was Dantes'
reply; "for when we do not owe them money, we owe them
gratitude."

"What's the use of mentioning that? What is done is done.
Let us talk of your happy return, my boy. I had gone on the
quay to match a piece of mulberry cloth, when I met friend
Danglars. `You at Marseilles?' -- `Yes,' says he.

"`I thought you were at Smyrna.' -- `I was; but am now back
again.'

"`And where is the dear boy, our little Edmond?'

"`Why, with his father, no doubt,' replied Danglars. And so
I came," added Caderousse, "as fast as I could to have the
pleasure of shaking hands with a friend."

"Worthy Caderousse!" said the old man, "he is so much
attached to us."

"Yes, to be sure I am. I love and esteem you, because honest
folks are so rare. But it seems you have come back rich, my
boy," continued the tailor, looking askance at the handful
of gold and silver which Dantes had thrown on the table.

The young man remarked the greedy glance which shone in the
dark eyes of his neighbor. "Eh," he said, negligently. "this
money is not mine. I was expressing to my father my fears
that he had wanted many things in my absence, and to
convince me he emptied his purse on the table. Come, father"
added Dantes, "put this money back in your box -- unless
neighbor Caderousse wants anything, and in that case it is
at his service."

"No, my boy, no," said Caderousse. "I am not in any want,
thank God, my living is suited to my means. Keep your money
-- keep it, I say; -- one never has too much; -- but, at the
same time, my boy, I am as much obliged by your offer as if
I took advantage of it."

"It was offered with good will," said Dantes.

"No doubt, my boy; no doubt. Well, you stand well with M.
Morrel I hear, -- you insinuating dog, you!"

"M. Morrel has always been exceedingly kind to me," replied
Dantes.

"Then you were wrong to refuse to dine with him."

"What, did you refuse to dine with him?" said old Dantes;
"and did he invite you to dine?"

"Yes, my dear father," replied Edmond, smiling at his
father's astonishment at the excessive honor paid to his
son.

"And why did you refuse, my son?" inquired the old man.

"That I might the sooner see you again, my dear father,"
replied the young man. "I was most anxious to see you."

"But it must have vexed M. Morrel, good, worthy man," said
Caderousse. "And when you are looking forward to be captain,
it was wrong to annoy the owner."

"But I explained to him the cause of my refusal," replied
Dantes, "and I hope he fully understood it."

"Yes, but to be captain one must do a little flattery to
one's patrons."

"I hope to be captain without that," said Dantes.

"So much the better -- so much the better! Nothing will give
greater pleasure to all your old friends; and I know one
down there behind the Saint Nicolas citadel who will not be
sorry to hear it."

"Mercedes?" said the old man.

"Yes, my dear father, and with your permission, now I have
seen you, and know you are well and have all you require, I
will ask your consent to go and pay a visit to the
Catalans."

"Go, my dear boy," said old Dantes: "and heaven bless you in
your wife, as it has blessed me in my son!"

"His wife!" said Caderousse; "why, how fast you go on,
father Dantes; she is not his wife yet, as it seems to me."

"So, but according to all probability she soon will be,"
replied Edmond.

"Yes -- yes," said Caderousse; "but you were right to return
as soon as possible, my boy."

"And why?"

"Because Mercedes is a very fine girl, and fine girls never
lack followers; she particularly has them by dozens."

"Really?" answered Edmond, with a smile which had in it
traces of slight uneasiness.

"Ah, yes," continued Caderousse, "and capital offers, too;
but you know, you will be captain, and who could refuse you
then?"

"Meaning to say," replied Dantes, with a smile which but
ill-concealed his trouble, "that if I were not a captain" --

"Eh -- eh!" said Caderousse, shaking his head.

"Come, come," said the sailor, "I have a better opinion than
you of women in general, and of Mercedes in particular; and
I am certain that, captain or not, she will remain ever
faithful to me."

"So much the better -- so much the better," said Caderousse.
"When one is going to be married, there is nothing like
implicit confidence; but never mind that, my boy, -- go and
announce your arrival, and let her know all your hopes and
prospects."

"I will go directly," was Edmond's reply; and, embracing his
father, and nodding to Caderousse, he left the apartment.

Caderousse lingered for a moment, then taking leave of old
Dantes, he went downstairs to rejoin Danglars, who awaited
him at the corner of the Rue Senac.

"Well," said Danglars, "did you see him?"

"I have just left him," answered Caderousse.

"Did he allude to his hope of being captain?"

"He spoke of it as a thing already decided."

"Indeed!" said Danglars, "he is in too much hurry, it
appears to me."

"Why, it seems M. Morrel has promised him the thing."

"So that he is quite elated about it?"

"Why, yes, he is actually insolent over the matter -- has
already offered me his patronage, as if he were a grand
personage, and proffered me a loan of money, as though he
were a banker."

"Which you refused?"

"Most assuredly; although I might easily have accepted it,
for it was I who put into his hands the first silver he ever
earned; but now M. Dantes has no longer any occasion for
assistance -- he is about to become a captain."

"Pooh!" said Danglars, "he is not one yet."

"Ma foi, it will be as well if he is not," answered
Caderousse; "for if he should be, there will be really no
speaking to him."

"If we choose," replied Danglars, "he will remain what he
is; and perhaps become even less than he is."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing -- I was speaking to myself. And is he still in
love with the Catalane?"

"Over head and ears; but, unless I am much mistaken, there
will be a storm in that quarter."

"Explain yourself."

"Why should I?"

"It is more important than you think, perhaps. You do not
like Dantes?"

"I never like upstarts."

"Then tell me all you know about the Catalane."

"I know nothing for certain; only I have seen things which
induce me to believe, as I told you, that the future captain
will find some annoyance in the vicinity of the Vieilles
Infirmeries."

"What have you seen? -- come, tell me!"

"Well, every time I have seen Mercedes come into the city
she has been accompanied by a tall, strapping, black-eyed
Catalan, with a red complexion, brown skin, and fierce air,
whom she calls cousin."

"Really; and you think this cousin pays her attentions?"

"I only suppose so. What else can a strapping chap of
twenty-one mean with a fine wench of seventeen?"

"And you say that Dantes has gone to the Catalans?"

"He went before I came down."

"Let us go the same way; we will stop at La Reserve, and we
can drink a glass of La Malgue, whilst we wait for news."

"Come along," said Caderousse; "but you pay the score."

"Of course," replied Danglars; and going quickly to the
designated place, they called for a bottle of wine, and two
glasses.

Pere Pamphile had seen Dantes pass not ten minutes before;
and assured that he was at the Catalans, they sat down under
the budding foliage of the planes and sycamores, in the
branches of which the birds were singing their welcome to
one of the first days of spring.



Literature Network » Alexandre Dumas » The Count of Monte Cristo » Chapter 2

CHAPTER 3
The Catalans.

Beyond a bare, weather-worn wall, about a hundred paces from
the spot where the two friends sat looking and listening as
they drank their wine, was the village of the Catalans. Long
ago this mysterious colony quitted Spain, and settled on the
tongue of land on which it is to this day. Whence it came no
one knew, and it spoke an unknown tongue. One of its chiefs,
who understood Provencal, begged the commune of Marseilles
to give them this bare and barren promontory, where, like
the sailors of old, they had run their boats ashore. The
request was granted; and three months afterwards, around the
twelve or fifteen small vessels which had brought these
gypsies of the sea, a small village sprang up. This village,
constructed in a singular and picturesque manner, half
Moorish, half Spanish, still remains, and is inhabited by
descendants of the first comers, who speak the language of
their fathers. For three or four centuries they have
remained upon this small promontory, on which they had
settled like a flight of seabirds, without mixing with the
Marseillaise population, intermarrying, and preserving their
original customs and the costume of their mother-country as
they have preserved its language.

Our readers will follow us along the only street of this
little village, and enter with us one of the houses, which
is sunburned to the beautiful dead-leaf color peculiar to
the buildings of the country, and within coated with
whitewash, like a Spanish posada. A young and beautiful
girl, with hair as black as jet, her eyes as velvety as the
gazelle's, was leaning with her back against the wainscot,
rubbing in her slender delicately moulded fingers a bunch of
heath blossoms, the flowers of which she was picking off and
strewing on the floor; her arms, bare to the elbow, brown,
and modelled after those of the Arlesian Venus, moved with a
kind of restless impatience, and she tapped the earth with
her arched and supple foot, so as to display the pure and
full shape of her well-turned leg, in its red cotton, gray
and blue clocked, stocking. At three paces from her, seated
in a chair which he balanced on two legs, leaning his elbow
on an old worm-eaten table, was a tall young man of twenty,
or two-and-twenty, who was looking at her with an air in
which vexation and uneasiness were mingled. He questioned
her with his eyes, but the firm and steady gaze of the young
girl controlled his look.

"You see, Mercedes," said the young man, "here is Easter
come round again; tell me, is this the moment for a
wedding?"

"I have answered you a hundred times, Fernand, and really
you must be very stupid to ask me again."

"Well, repeat it, -- repeat it, I beg of you, that I may at
last believe it! Tell me for the hundredth time that you
refuse my love, which had your mother's sanction. Make me
understand once for all that you are trifling with my
happiness, that my life or death are nothing to you. Ah, to
have dreamed for ten years of being your husband, Mercedes,
and to lose that hope, which was the only stay of my
existence!"

"At least it was not I who ever encouraged you in that hope,
Fernand," replied Mercedes; "you cannot reproach me with the
slightest coquetry. I have always said to you, `I love you
as a brother; but do not ask from me more than sisterly
affection, for my heart is another's.' Is not this true,
Fernand?"

"Yes, that is very true, Mercedes," replied the young man,
"Yes, you have been cruelly frank with me; but do you forget
that it is among the Catalans a sacred law to intermarry?"

"You mistake, Fernand; it is not a law, but merely a custom,
and, I pray of you, do not cite this custom in your favor.
You are included in the conscription, Fernand, and are only
at liberty on sufferance, liable at any moment to be called
upon to take up arms. Once a soldier, what would you do with
me, a poor orphan, forlorn, without fortune, with nothing
but a half-ruined hut and a few ragged nets, the miserable
inheritance left by my father to my mother, and by my mother
to me? She has been dead a year, and you know, Fernand, I
have subsisted almost entirely on public charity. Sometimes
you pretend I am useful to you, and that is an excuse to
share with me the produce of your fishing, and I accept it,
Fernand, because you are the son of my father's brother,
because we were brought up together, and still more because
it would give you so much pain if I refuse. But I feel very
deeply that this fish which I go and sell, and with the
produce of which I buy the flax I spin, -- I feel very
keenly, Fernand, that this is charity."

"And if it were, Mercedes, poor and lone as you are, you
suit me as well as the daughter of the first shipowner or
the richest banker of Marseilles! What do such as we desire
but a good wife and careful housekeeper, and where can I
look for these better than in you?"

"Fernand," answered Mercedes, shaking her head, "a woman
becomes a bad manager, and who shall say she will remain an
honest woman, when she loves another man better than her
husband? Rest content with my friendship, for I say once
more that is all I can promise, and I will promise no more
than I can bestow."

"I understand," replied Fernand, "you can endure your own
wretchedness patiently, but you are afraid to share mine.
Well, Mercedes, beloved by you, I would tempt fortune; you
would bring me good luck, and I should become rich. I could
extend my occupation as a fisherman, might get a place as
clerk in a warehouse, and become in time a dealer myself."

"You could do no such thing, Fernand; you are a soldier, and
if you remain at the Catalans it is because there is no war;
so remain a fisherman, and contented with my friendship, as
I cannot give you more."

"Well, I will do better, Mercedes. I will be a sailor;
instead of the costume of our fathers, which you despise, I
will wear a varnished hat, a striped shirt, and a blue
jacket, with an anchor on the buttons. Would not that dress
please you?"

"What do you mean?" asked Mercedes, with an angry glance, --
"what do you mean? I do not understand you?"

"I mean, Mercedes, that you are thus harsh and cruel with
me, because you are expecting some one who is thus attired;
but perhaps he whom you await is inconstant, or if he is
not, the sea is so to him."

"Fernand," cried Mercedes, "I believed you were
good-hearted, and I was mistaken! Fernand, you are wicked to
call to your aid jealousy and the anger of God! Yes, I will
not deny it, I do await, and I do love him of whom you
speak; and, if he does not return, instead of accusing him
of the inconstancy which you insinuate, I will tell you that
he died loving me and me only." The young girl made a
gesture of rage. "I understand you, Fernand; you would be
revenged on him because I do not love you; you would cross
your Catalan knife with his dirk. What end would that
answer? To lose you my friendship if he were conquered, and
see that friendship changed into hate if you were victor.
Believe me, to seek a quarrel with a man is a bad method of
pleasing the woman who loves that man. No, Fernand, you will
not thus give way to evil thoughts. Unable to have me for
your wife, you will content yourself with having me for your
friend and sister; and besides," she added, her eyes
troubled and moistened with tears, "wait, wait, Fernand; you
said just now that the sea was treacherous, and he has been
gone four months, and during these four months there have
been some terrible storms."

Fernand made no reply, nor did he attempt to check the tears
which flowed down the cheeks of Mercedes, although for each
of these tears he would have shed his heart's blood; but
these tears flowed for another. He arose, paced a while up
and down the hut, and then, suddenly stopping before
Mercedes, with his eyes glowing and his hands clinched, --
"Say, Mercedes," he said, "once for all, is this your final
determination?"

"I love Edmond Dantes," the young girl calmly replied, "and
none but Edmond shall ever be my husband."

"And you will always love him?"

"As long as I live."

Fernand let fall his head like a defeated man, heaved a sigh
that was like a groan, and then suddenly looking her full in
the face, with clinched teeth and expanded nostrils, said,
-- "But if he is dead" --

"If he is dead, I shall die too."

"If he has forgotten you" --

"Mercedes!" called a joyous voice from without, --
"Mercedes!"

"Ah," exclaimed the young girl, blushing with delight, and
fairly leaping in excess of love, "you see he has not
forgotten me, for here he is!" And rushing towards the door,
she opened it, saying, "Here, Edmond, here I am!"

Fernand, pale and trembling, drew back, like a traveller at
the sight of a serpent, and fell into a chair beside him.
Edmond and Mercedes were clasped in each other's arms. The
burning Marseilles sun, which shot into the room through the
open door, covered them with a flood of light. At first they
saw nothing around them. Their intense happiness isolated
them from all the rest of the world, and they only spoke in
broken words, which are the tokens of a joy so extreme that
they seem rather the expression of sorrow. Suddenly Edmond
saw the gloomy, pale, and threatening countenance of
Fernand, as it was defined in the shadow. By a movement for
which he could scarcely account to himself, the young
Catalan placed his hand on the knife at his belt.

"Ah, your pardon," said Dantes, frowning in his turn; "I did
not perceive that there were three of us." Then, turning to
Mercedes, he inquired, "Who is this gentleman?"

"One who will be your best friend, Dantes, for he is my
friend, my cousin, my brother; it is Fernand -- the man
whom, after you, Edmond, I love the best in the world. Do
you not remember him?"

"Yes!" said Dantes, and without relinquishing Mercedes hand
clasped in one of his own, he extended the other to the
Catalan with a cordial air. But Fernand, instead of
responding to this amiable gesture, remained mute and
trembling. Edmond then cast his eyes scrutinizingly at the
agitated and embarrassed Mercedes, and then again on the
gloomy and menacing Fernand. This look told him all, and his
anger waxed hot.

"I did not know, when I came with such haste to you, that I
was to meet an enemy here."

"An enemy!" cried Mercedes, with an angry look at her
cousin. "An enemy in my house, do you say, Edmond! If I
believed that, I would place my arm under yours and go with
you to Marseilles, leaving the house to return to it no
more."

Fernand's eye darted lightning. "And should any misfortune
occur to you, dear Edmond," she continued with the same
calmness which proved to Fernand that the young girl had
read the very innermost depths of his sinister thought, "if
misfortune should occur to you, I would ascend the highest
point of the Cape de Morgion and cast myself headlong from
it."

Fernand became deadly pale. "But you are deceived, Edmond,"
she continued. "You have no enemy here -- there is no one
but Fernand, my brother, who will grasp your hand as a
devoted friend."

And at these words the young girl fixed her imperious look
on the Catalan, who, as if fascinated by it, came slowly
towards Edmond, and offered him his hand. His hatred, like a
powerless though furious wave, was broken against the strong
ascendancy which Mercedes exercised over him. Scarcely,
however, had he touched Edmond's hand than he felt he had
done all he could do, and rushed hastily out of the house.

"Oh," he exclaimed, running furiously and tearing his hair
-- "Oh, who will deliver me from this man? Wretched --
wretched that I am!"

"Hallo, Catalan! Hallo, Fernand! where are you running to?"
exclaimed a voice.

The young man stopped suddenly, looked around him, and
perceived Caderousse sitting at table with Danglars, under
an arbor.

"Well", said Caderousse, "why don't you come? Are you really
in such a hurry that you have no time to pass the time of
day with your friends?"

"Particularly when they have still a full bottle before
them," added Danglars. Fernand looked at them both with a
stupefied air, but did not say a word.

"He seems besotted," said Danglars, pushing Caderousse with
his knee. "Are we mistaken, and is Dantes triumphant in
spite of all we have believed?"

"Why, we must inquire into that," was Caderousse's reply;
and turning towards the young man, said, "Well, Catalan,
can't you make up your mind?"

Fernand wiped away the perspiration steaming from his brow,
and slowly entered the arbor, whose shade seemed to restore
somewhat of calmness to his senses, and whose coolness
somewhat of refreshment to his exhausted body.

"Good-day," said he. "You called me, didn't you?" And he
fell, rather than sat down, on one of the seats which
surrounded the table.

"I called you because you were running like a madman, and I
was afraid you would throw yourself into the sea," said
Caderousse, laughing. "Why, when a man has friends, they are
not only to offer him a glass of wine, but, moreover, to
prevent his swallowing three or four pints of water
unnecessarily!"

Fernand gave a groan, which resembled a sob, and dropped his
head into his hands, his elbows leaning on the table.

"Well, Fernand, I must say," said Caderousse, beginning the
conversation, with that brutality of the common people in
which curiosity destroys all diplomacy, "you look uncommonly
like a rejected lover;" and he burst into a hoarse laugh.

"Bah!" said Danglars, "a lad of his make was not born to be
unhappy in love. You are laughing at him, Caderousse."

"No," he replied, "only hark how he sighs! Come, come,
Fernand," said Caderousse, "hold up your head, and answer
us. It's not polite not to reply to friends who ask news of
your health."

"My health is well enough," said Fernand, clinching his
hands without raising his head.

"Ah, you see, Danglars," said Caderousse, winking at his
friend, "this is how it is; Fernand, whom you see here, is a
good and brave Catalan, one of the best fishermen in
Marseilles, and he is in love with a very fine girl, named
Mercedes; but it appears, unfortunately, that the fine girl
is in love with the mate of the Pharaon; and as the Pharaon
arrived to-day -- why, you understand!"

"No; I do not understand," said Danglars.

"Poor Fernand has been dismissed," continued Caderousse.

"Well, and what then?" said Fernand, lifting up his head,
and looking at Caderousse like a man who looks for some one
on whom to vent his anger; "Mercedes is not accountable to
any person, is she? Is she not free to love whomsoever she
will?"

"Oh, if you take it in that sense," said Caderousse, "it is
another thing. But I thought you were a Catalan, and they
told me the Catalans were not men to allow themselves to be
supplanted by a rival. It was even told me that Fernand,
especially, was terrible in his vengeance."

Fernand smiled piteously. "A lover is never terrible," he
said.

"Poor fellow!" remarked Danglars, affecting to pity the
young man from the bottom of his heart. "Why, you see, he
did not expect to see Dantes return so suddenly -- he
thought he was dead, perhaps; or perchance faithless! These
things always come on us more severely when they come
suddenly."

"Ah, ma foi, under any circumstances," said Caderousse, who
drank as he spoke, and on whom the fumes of the wine began
to take effect, -- "under any circumstances Fernand is not
the only person put out by the fortunate arrival of Dantes;
is he, Danglars?"

"No, you are right -- and I should say that would bring him
ill-luck."

"Well, never mind," answered Caderousse, pouring out a glass
of wine for Fernand, and filling his own for the eighth or
ninth time, while Danglars had merely sipped his. "Never
mind -- in the meantime he marries Mercedes -- the lovely
Mercedes -- at least he returns to do that."

During this time Danglars fixed his piercing glance on the
young man, on whose heart Caderousse's words fell like
molten lead.

"And when is the wedding to be?" he asked.

"Oh, it is not yet fixed!" murmured Fernand.

"No, but it will be," said Caderousse, "as surely as Dantes
will be captain of the Pharaon -- eh, Danglars?"

Danglars shuddered at this unexpected attack, and turned to
Caderousse, whose countenance he scrutinized, to try and
detect whether the blow was premeditated; but he read
nothing but envy in a countenance already rendered brutal
and stupid by drunkenness.

"Well," said he, filling the glasses, "let us drink to
Captain Edmond Dantes, husband of the beautiful Catalane!"

Caderousse raised his glass to his mouth with unsteady hand,
and swallowed the contents at a gulp. Fernand dashed his on
the ground.

"Eh, eh, eh!" stammered Caderousse. "What do I see down
there by the wall, in the direction of the Catalans? Look,
Fernand, your eyes are better than mine. I believe I see
double. You know wine is a deceiver; but I should say it was
two lovers walking side by side, and hand in hand. Heaven
forgive me, they do not know that we can see them, and they
are actually embracing!"

Danglars did not lose one pang that Fernand endured.

"Do you know them, Fernand?" he said.

"Yes," was the reply, in a low voice. "It is Edmond and
Mercedes!"

"Ah, see there, now!" said Caderousse; "and I did not
recognize them! Hallo, Dantes! hello, lovely damsel! Come
this way, and let us know when the wedding is to be, for
Fernand here is so obstinate he will not tell us."

"Hold your tongue, will you?" said Danglars, pretending to
restrain Caderousse, who, with the tenacity of drunkards,
leaned out of the arbor. "Try to stand upright, and let the
lovers make love without interruption. See, look at Fernand,
and follow his example; he is well-behaved!"

Fernand, probably excited beyond bearing, pricked by
Danglars, as the bull is by the bandilleros, was about to
rush out; for he had risen from his seat, and seemed to be
collecting himself to dash headlong upon his rival, when
Mercedes, smiling and graceful, lifted up her lovely head,
and looked at them with her clear and bright eyes. At this
Fernand recollected her threat of dying if Edmond died, and
dropped again heavily on his seat. Danglars looked at the
two men, one after the other, the one brutalized by liquor,
the other overwhelmed with love.

"I shall get nothing from these fools," he muttered; "and I
am very much afraid of being here between a drunkard and a
coward. Here's an envious fellow making himself boozy on
wine when he ought to be nursing his wrath, and here is a
fool who sees the woman he loves stolen from under his nose
and takes on like a big baby. Yet this Catalan has eyes that
glisten like those of the vengeful Spaniards, Sicilians, and
Calabrians, and the other has fists big enough to crush an
ox at one blow. Unquestionably, Edmond's star is in the
ascendant, and he will marry the splendid girl -- he will be
captain, too, and laugh at us all, unless" -- a sinister
smile passed over Danglars' lips -- "unless I take a hand in
the affair," he added.

"Hallo!" continued Caderousse, half-rising, and with his
fist on the table, "hallo, Edmond! do you not see your
friends, or are you too proud to speak to them?"

"No, my dear fellow!" replied Dantes, "I am not proud, but I
am happy, and happiness blinds, I think, more than pride."

"Ah, very well, that's an explanation!" said Caderousse.
"How do you do, Madame Dantes?"

Mercedes courtesied gravely, and said -- "That is not my
name, and in my country it bodes ill fortune, they say, to
call a young girl by the name of her betrothed before he
becomes her husband. So call me Mercedes, if you please."

"We must excuse our worthy neighbor, Caderousse," said
Dantes, "he is so easily mistaken."

"So, then, the wedding is to take place immediately, M.
Dantes," said Danglars, bowing to the young couple.

"As soon as possible, M. Danglars; to-day all preliminaries
will be arranged at my father's, and to-morrow, or next day
at latest, the wedding festival here at La Reserve. My
friends will be there, I hope; that is to say, you are
invited, M. Danglars, and you, Caderousse."

"And Fernand," said Caderousse with a chuckle; "Fernand,
too, is invited!"

"My wife's brother is my brother," said Edmond; "and we,
Mercedes and I, should be very sorry if he were absent at
such a time."

Fernand opened his mouth to reply, but his voice died on his
lips, and he could not utter a word.

"To-day the preliminaries, to-morrow or next day the
ceremony! You are in a hurry, captain!"

"Danglars," said Edmond, smiling, "I will say to you as
Mercedes said just now to Caderousse, `Do not give me a
title which does not belong to me'; that may bring me bad
luck."

"Your pardon," replied Danglars, "I merely said you seemed
in a hurry, and we have lots of time; the Pharaon cannot be
under weigh again in less than three months."

"We are always in a hurry to be happy, M. Danglars; for when
we have suffered a long time, we have great difficulty in
believing in good fortune. But it is not selfishness alone
that makes me thus in haste; I must go to Paris."

"Ah, really? -- to Paris! and will it be the first time you
have ever been there, Dantes?"

"Yes."

"Have you business there?"

"Not of my own; the last commission of poor Captain Leclere;
you know to what I allude, Danglars -- it is sacred.
Besides, I shall only take the time to go and return."

"Yes, yes, I understand," said Danglars, and then in a low
tone, he added, "To Paris, no doubt to deliver the letter
which the grand marshal gave him. Ah, this letter gives me
an idea -- a capital idea! Ah; Dantes, my friend, you are
not yet registered number one on board the good ship
Pharaon;" then turning towards Edmond, who was walking away,
"A pleasant journey," he cried.

"Thank you," said Edmond with a friendly nod, and the two
lovers continued on their way, as calm and joyous as if they
were the very elect of heaven.



Literature Network » Alexandre Dumas » The Count of Monte Cristo » Chapter 3
 Quote:
mallrats, damnit, mallrats!

you are at least 3/16th animal now.

you can go.

but leave the tits!



Again - in my netflix queue. Haven't watched it yet.


Well now that I have The Big Lebowski and Mallrats coming Monday I need a recommendation for my third...


And then I'll go.


Minus my tits.
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:38 AM
 Originally Posted By: Wank and Cry

I pictured you as a West Side Story type asshole


which one was the west side story type asshole? was he a jet? for life?
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:39 AM
 Originally Posted By: Yellow Blossum
Again - in my netflix queue. Haven't watched it yet.


Well now that I have Big Lebowski and Mallrats coming Monday I need a recommendation for my third...


mallrats is really needed just for that segment.

jay and silent bob strikes back is pretty quote laden for here, and i think an overall better movie.


 Originally Posted By: Yellow Blossum
Minus my tits.


aww
 Originally Posted By: Rob Kamphausen
 Originally Posted By: Yellow Blossum
Again - in my netflix queue. Haven't watched it yet.


Well now that I have Big Lebowski and Mallrats coming Monday I need a recommendation for my third...


mallrats is really needed just for that segment.

jay and silent bob strikes back is pretty quote laden for here, and i think an overall better movie.


55th in my queue...


 Originally Posted By: Rob Kamphausen
 Originally Posted By: Yellow Blossum
Minus my tits.


aww


I know. I'm a giver.
Posted By: Rob Re: Latest Update from the Insurgent Secret Forum - 2008-06-14 1:46 AM
 Originally Posted By: Yellow Blossum
 Originally Posted By: Rob Kamphausen
 Originally Posted By: Yellow Blossum
Again - in my netflix queue. Haven't watched it yet.


Well now that I have Big Lebowski and Mallrats coming Monday I need a recommendation for my third...


mallrats is really needed just for that segment.

jay and silent bob strikes back is pretty quote laden for here, and i think an overall better movie.


55th in my queue...


one of the airplanes?
CHAPTER 1
Marseilles -- The Arrival.

On the 24th of February, 1810, the look-out at Notre-Dame de
la Garde signalled the three-master, the Pharaon from
Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples.

As usual, a pilot put off immediately, and rounding the
Chateau d'If, got on board the vessel between Cape Morgion
and Rion island.

Immediately, and according to custom, the ramparts of Fort
Saint-Jean were covered with spectators; it is always an
event at Marseilles for a ship to come into port, especially
when this ship, like the Pharaon, has been built, rigged,
and laden at the old Phocee docks, and belongs to an owner
of the city.

The ship drew on and had safely passed the strait, which
some volcanic shock has made between the Calasareigne and
Jaros islands; had doubled Pomegue, and approached the
harbor under topsails, jib, and spanker, but so slowly and
sedately that the idlers, with that instinct which is the
forerunner of evil, asked one another what misfortune could
have happened on board. However, those experienced in
navigation saw plainly that if any accident had occurred, it
was not to the vessel herself, for she bore down with all
the evidence of being skilfully handled, the anchor
a-cockbill, the jib-boom guys already eased off, and
standing by the side of the pilot, who was steering the
Pharaon towards the narrow entrance of the inner port, was a
young man, who, with activity and vigilant eye, watched
every motion of the ship, and repeated each direction of the
pilot.

The vague disquietude which prevailed among the spectators
had so much affected one of the crowd that he did not await
the arrival of the vessel in harbor, but jumping into a
small skiff, desired to be pulled alongside the Pharaon,
which he reached as she rounded into La Reserve basin.

When the young man on board saw this person approach, he
left his station by the pilot, and, hat in hand, leaned over
the ship's bulwarks.

He was a fine, tall, slim young fellow of eighteen or
twenty, with black eyes, and hair as dark as a raven's wing;
and his whole appearance bespoke that calmness and
resolution peculiar to men accustomed from their cradle to
contend with danger.

"Ah, is it you, Dantes?" cried the man in the skiff. "What's
the matter? and why have you such an air of sadness aboard?"

"A great misfortune, M. Morrel," replied the young man, --
"a great misfortune, for me especially! Off Civita Vecchia
we lost our brave Captain Leclere."

"And the cargo?" inquired the owner, eagerly.

"Is all safe, M. Morrel; and I think you will be satisfied
on that head. But poor Captain Leclere -- "

"What happened to him?" asked the owner, with an air of
considerable resignation. "What happened to the worthy
captain?"

"He died."

"Fell into the sea?"

"No, sir, he died of brain-fever in dreadful agony." Then
turning to the crew, he said, "Bear a hand there, to take in
sail!"

All hands obeyed, and at once the eight or ten seamen who
composed the crew, sprang to their respective stations at
the spanker brails and outhaul, topsail sheets and halyards,
the jib downhaul, and the topsail clewlines and buntlines.
The young sailor gave a look to see that his orders were
promptly and accurately obeyed, and then turned again to the
owner.

"And how did this misfortune occur?" inquired the latter,
resuming the interrupted conversation.

"Alas, sir, in the most unexpected manner. After a long talk
with the harbor-master, Captain Leclere left Naples greatly
disturbed in mind. In twenty-four hours he was attacked by a
fever, and died three days afterwards. We performed the
usual burial service, and he is at his rest, sewn up in his
hammock with a thirty-six pound shot at his head and his
heels, off El Giglio island. We bring to his widow his sword
and cross of honor. It was worth while, truly," added the
young man with a melancholy smile, "to make war against the
English for ten years, and to die in his bed at last, like
everybody else."

"Why, you see, Edmond," replied the owner, who appeared more
comforted at every moment, "we are all mortal, and the old
must make way for the young. If not, why, there would be no
promotion; and since you assure me that the cargo -- "

"Is all safe and sound, M. Morrel, take my word for it; and
I advise you not to take 25,000 francs for the profits of
the voyage."

Then, as they were just passing the Round Tower, the young
man shouted: "Stand by there to lower the topsails and jib;
brail up the spanker!"

The order was executed as promptly as it would have been on
board a man-of-war.

"Let go -- and clue up!" At this last command all the sails
were lowered, and the vessel moved almost imperceptibly
onwards.

"Now, if you will come on board, M. Morrel," said Dantes,
observing the owner's impatience, "here is your supercargo,
M. Danglars, coming out of his cabin, who will furnish you
with every particular. As for me, I must look after the
anchoring, and dress the ship in mourning."

The owner did not wait for a second invitation. He seized a
rope which Dantes flung to him, and with an activity that
would have done credit to a sailor, climbed up the side of
the ship, while the young man, going to his task, left the
conversation to Danglars, who now came towards the owner. He
was a man of twenty-five or twenty-six years of age, of
unprepossessing countenance, obsequious to his superiors,
insolent to his subordinates; and this, in addition to his
position as responsible agent on board, which is always
obnoxious to the sailors, made him as much disliked by the
crew as Edmond Dantes was beloved by them.

"Well, M. Morrel," said Danglars, "you have heard of the
misfortune that has befallen us?"

"Yes -- yes: poor Captain Leclere! He was a brave and an
honest man."

"And a first-rate seaman, one who had seen long and
honorable service, as became a man charged with the
interests of a house so important as that of Morrel & Son,"
replied Danglars.

"But," replied the owner, glancing after Dantes, who was
watching the anchoring of his vessel, "it seems to me that a
sailor needs not be so old as you say, Danglars, to
understand his business, for our friend Edmond seems to
understand it thoroughly, and not to require instruction
from any one."

"Yes," said Danglars, darting at Edmond a look gleaming with
hate. "Yes, he is young, and youth is invariably
self-confident. Scarcely was the captain's breath out of his
body when he assumed the command without consulting any one,
and he caused us to lose a day and a half at the Island of
Elba, instead of making for Marseilles direct."

"As to taking command of the vessel," replied Morrel, "that
was his duty as captain's mate; as to losing a day and a
half off the Island of Elba, he was wrong, unless the vessel
needed repairs."

"The vessel was in as good condition as I am, and as, I hope
you are, M. Morrel, and this day and a half was lost from
pure whim, for the pleasure of going ashore, and nothing
else."

"Dantes," said the shipowner, turning towards the young man,
"come this way!"

"In a moment, sir," answered Dantes, "and I'm with you."
Then calling to the crew, he said -- "Let go!"

The anchor was instantly dropped, and the chain ran rattling
through the port-hole. Dantes continued at his post in spite
of the presence of the pilot, until this manoeuvre was
completed, and then he added, "Half-mast the colors, and
square the yards!"

"You see," said Danglars, "he fancies himself captain
already, upon my word."

"And so, in fact, he is," said the owner.

"Except your signature and your partner's, M. Morrel."

"And why should he not have this?" asked the owner; "he is
young, it is true, but he seems to me a thorough seaman, and
of full experience."

A cloud passed over Danglars' brow. "Your pardon, M.
Morrel," said Dantes, approaching, "the vessel now rides at
anchor, and I am at your service. You hailed me, I think?"

Danglars retreated a step or two. "I wished to inquire why
you stopped at the Island of Elba?"

"I do not know, sir; it was to fulfil the last instructions
of Captain Leclere, who, when dying, gave me a packet for
Marshal Bertrand."

"Then did you see him, Edmond?"

"Who?"

"The marshal."

"Yes."

Morrel looked around him, and then, drawing Dantes on one
side, he said suddenly -- "And how is the emperor?"

"Very well, as far as I could judge from the sight of him."

"You saw the emperor, then?"

"He entered the marshal's apartment while I was there."

"And you spoke to him?"

"Why, it was he who spoke to me, sir," said Dantes, with a
smile.

"And what did he say to you?"

"Asked me questions about the vessel, the time she left
Marseilles, the course she had taken, and what was her
cargo. I believe, if she had not been laden, and I had been
her master, he would have bought her. But I told him I was
only mate, and that she belonged to the firm of Morrel &
Son. `Ah, yes,' he said, `I know them. The Morrels have been
shipowners from father to son; and there was a Morrel who
served in the same regiment with me when I was in garrison
at Valence.'"

"Pardieu, and that is true!" cried the owner, greatly
delighted. "And that was Policar Morrel, my uncle, who was
afterwards a captain. Dantes, you must tell my uncle that
the emperor remembered him, and you will see it will bring
tears into the old soldier's eyes. Come, come," continued
he, patting Edmond's shoulder kindly, "you did very right,
Dantes, to follow Captain Leclere's instructions, and touch
at Elba, although if it were known that you had conveyed a
packet to the marshal, and had conversed with the emperor,
it might bring you into trouble."

"How could that bring me into trouble, sir?" asked Dantes;
"for I did not even know of what I was the bearer; and the
emperor merely made such inquiries as he would of the first
comer. But, pardon me, here are the health officers and the
customs inspectors coming alongside." And the young man went
to the gangway. As he departed, Danglars approached, and
said, --

"Well, it appears that he has given you satisfactory reasons
for his landing at Porto-Ferrajo?"

"Yes, most satisfactory, my dear Danglars."

"Well, so much the better," said the supercargo; "for it is
not pleasant to think that a comrade has not done his duty."

"Dantes has done his," replied the owner, "and that is not
saying much. It was Captain Leclere who gave orders for this
delay."

"Talking of Captain Leclere, has not Dantes given you a
letter from him?"

"To me? -- no -- was there one?"

"I believe that, besides the packet, Captain Leclere
confided a letter to his care."

"Of what packet are you speaking, Danglars?"

"Why, that which Dantes left at Porto-Ferrajo."

"How do you know he had a packet to leave at Porto-Ferrajo?"

Danglars turned very red.

"I was passing close to the door of the captain's cabin,
which was half open, and I saw him give the packet and
letter to Dantes."

"He did not speak to me of it," replied the shipowner; "but
if there be any letter he will give it to me."

Danglars reflected for a moment. "Then, M. Morrel, I beg of
you," said he, "not to say a word to Dantes on the subject.
I may have been mistaken."

At this moment the young man returned; Danglars withdrew.

"Well, my dear Dantes, are you now free?" inquired the
owner.

"Yes, sir."

"You have not been long detained."

"No. I gave the custom-house officers a copy of our bill of
lading; and as to the other papers, they sent a man off with
the pilot, to whom I gave them."

"Then you have nothing more to do here?"

"No -- everything is all right now."

"Then you can come and dine with me?"

"I really must ask you to excuse me, M. Morrel. My first
visit is due to my father, though I am not the less grateful
for the honor you have done me."

"Right, Dantes, quite right. I always knew you were a good
son."

"And," inquired Dantes, with some hesitation, "do you know
how my father is?"

"Well, I believe, my dear Edmond, though I have not seen him
lately."

"Yes, he likes to keep himself shut up in his little room."

"That proves, at least, that he has wanted for nothing
during your absence."

Dantes smiled. "My father is proud, sir, and if he had not a
meal left, I doubt if he would have asked anything from
anyone, except from Heaven."

"Well, then, after this first visit has been made we shall
count on you."

"I must again excuse myself, M. Morrel, for after this first
visit has been paid I have another which I am most anxious
to pay."

"True, Dantes, I forgot that there was at the Catalans some
one who expects you no less impatiently than your father --
the lovely Mercedes."

Dantes blushed.

"Ah, ha," said the shipowner, "I am not in the least
surprised, for she has been to me three times, inquiring if
there were any news of the Pharaon. Peste, Edmond, you have
a very handsome mistress!"

"She is not my mistress," replied the young sailor, gravely;
"she is my betrothed."

"Sometimes one and the same thing," said Morrel, with a
smile.

"Not with us, sir," replied Dantes.

"Well, well, my dear Edmond," continued the owner, "don't
let me detain you. You have managed my affairs so well that
I ought to allow you all the time you require for your own.
Do you want any money?"

"No, sir; I have all my pay to take -- nearly three months'
wages."

"You are a careful fellow, Edmond."

"Say I have a poor father, sir."

"Yes, yes, I know how good a son you are, so now hasten away
to see your father. I have a son too, and I should be very
wroth with those who detained him from me after a three
months' voyage."

"Then I have your leave, sir?"

"Yes, if you have nothing more to say to me."

"Nothing."

"Captain Leclere did not, before he died, give you a letter
for me?"

"He was unable to write, sir. But that reminds me that I
must ask your leave of absence for some days."

"To get married?"

"Yes, first, and then to go to Paris."

"Very good; have what time you require, Dantes. It will take
quite six weeks to unload the cargo, and we cannot get you
ready for sea until three months after that; only be back
again in three months, for the Pharaon," added the owner,
patting the young sailor on the back, "cannot sail without
her captain."

"Without her captain!" cried Dantes, his eyes sparkling with
animation; "pray mind what you say, for you are touching on
the most secret wishes of my heart. Is it really your
intention to make me captain of the Pharaon?"

"If I were sole owner we'd shake hands on it now, my dear
Dantes, and call it settled; but I have a partner, and you
know the Italian proverb -- Chi ha compagno ha padrone --
`He who has a partner has a master.' But the thing is at
least half done, as you have one out of two votes. Rely on
me to procure you the other; I will do my best."

"Ah, M. Morrel," exclaimed the young seaman, with tears in
his eyes, and grasping the owner's hand, "M. Morrel, I thank
you in the name of my father and of Mercedes."

"That's all right, Edmond. There's a providence that watches
over the deserving. Go to your father: go and see Mercedes,
and afterwards come to me."

"Shall I row you ashore?"

"No, thank you; I shall remain and look over the accounts
with Danglars. Have you been satisfied with him this
voyage?"

"That is according to the sense you attach to the question,
sir. Do you mean is he a good comrade? No, for I think he
never liked me since the day when I was silly enough, after
a little quarrel we had, to propose to him to stop for ten
minutes at the island of Monte Cristo to settle the dispute
-- a proposition which I was wrong to suggest, and he quite
right to refuse. If you mean as responsible agent when you
ask me the question, I believe there is nothing to say
against him, and that you will be content with the way in
which he has performed his duty."

"But tell me, Dantes, if you had command of the Pharaon
should you be glad to see Danglars remain?"

"Captain or mate, M. Morrel, I shall always have the
greatest respect for those who possess the owners'
confidence."

"That's right, that's right, Dantes! I see you are a
thoroughly good fellow, and will detain you no longer. Go,
for I see how impatient you are."

"Then I have leave?"

"Go, I tell you."

"May I have the use of your skiff?"

"Certainly."

"Then, for the present, M. Morrel, farewell, and a thousand
thanks!"

"I hope soon to see you again, my dear Edmond. Good luck to
you."

The young sailor jumped into the skiff, and sat down in the
stern sheets, with the order that he be put ashore at La
Canebiere. The two oarsmen bent to their work, and the
little boat glided away as rapidly as possible in the midst
of the thousand vessels which choke up the narrow way which
leads between the two rows of ships from the mouth of the
harbor to the Quai d'Orleans.

The shipowner, smiling, followed him with his eyes until he
saw him spring out on the quay and disappear in the midst of
the throng, which from five o'clock in the morning until
nine o'clock at night, swarms in the famous street of La
Canebiere, -- a street of which the modern Phocaeans are so
proud that they say with all the gravity in the world, and
with that accent which gives so much character to what is
said, "If Paris had La Canebiere, Paris would be a second
Marseilles." On turning round the owner saw Danglars behind
him, apparently awaiting orders, but in reality also
watching the young sailor, -- but there was a great
difference in the expression of the two men who thus
followed the movements of Edmond Dantes.

We will leave Danglars struggling with the demon of hatred,
and endeavoring to insinuate in the ear of the shipowner
some evil suspicions against his comrade, and follow Dantes,
who, after having traversed La Canebiere, took the Rue de
Noailles, and entering a small house, on the left of the
Allees de Meillan, rapidly ascended four flights of a dark
staircase, holding the baluster with one hand, while with
the other he repressed the beatings of his heart, and paused
before a half-open door, from which he could see the whole
of a small room.

This room was occupied by Dantes' father. The news of the
arrival of the Pharaon had not yet reached the old man, who,
mounted on a chair, was amusing himself by training with
trembling hand the nasturtiums and sprays of clematis that
clambered over the trellis at his window. Suddenly, he felt
an arm thrown around his body, and a well-known voice behind
him exclaimed, "Father -- dear father!"

The old man uttered a cry, and turned round; then, seeing
his son, he fell into his arms, pale and trembling.

"What ails you, my dearest father? Are you ill?" inquired
the young man, much alarmed.

"No, no, my dear Edmond -- my boy -- my son! -- no; but I
did not expect you; and joy, the surprise of seeing you so
suddenly -- Ah, I feel as if I were going to die."

"Come, come, cheer up, my dear father! 'Tis I -- really I!
They say joy never hurts, and so I came to you without any
warning. Come now, do smile, instead of looking at me so
solemnly. Here I am back again, and we are going to be
happy."

"Yes, yes, my boy, so we will -- so we will," replied the
old man; "but how shall we be happy? Shall you never leave
me again? Come, tell me all the good fortune that has
befallen you."

"God forgive me," said the young man, "for rejoicing at
happiness derived from the misery of others, but, Heaven
knows, I did not seek this good fortune; it has happened,
and I really cannot pretend to lament it. The good Captain
Leclere is dead, father, and it is probable that, with the
aid of M. Morrel, I shall have his place. Do you understand,
father? Only imagine me a captain at twenty, with a hundred
louis pay, and a share in the profits! Is this not more than
a poor sailor like me could have hoped for?"

"Yes, my dear boy," replied the old man, "it is very
fortunate."

"Well, then, with the first money I touch, I mean you to
have a small house, with a garden in which to plant
clematis, nasturtiums, and honeysuckle. But what ails you,
father? Are you not well?"

"'Tis nothing, nothing; it will soon pass away" -- and as he
said so the old man's strength failed him, and he fell
backwards.

"Come, come," said the young man, "a glass of wine, father,
will revive you. Where do you keep your wine?"

"No, no; thanks. You need not look for it; I do not want
it," said the old man.

"Yes, yes, father, tell me where it is," and he opened two
or three cupboards.

"It is no use," said the old man, "there is no wine."

"What, no wine?" said Dantes, turning pale, and looking
alternately at the hollow cheeks of the old man and the
empty cupboards. "What, no wine? Have you wanted money,
father?"

"I want nothing now that I have you," said the old man.

"Yet," stammered Dantes, wiping the perspiration from his
brow, -- "yet I gave you two hundred francs when I left,
three months ago."

"Yes, yes, Edmond, that is true, but you forgot at that time
a little debt to our neighbor, Caderousse. He reminded me of
it, telling me if I did not pay for you, he would be paid by
M. Morrel; and so, you see, lest he might do you an injury"
--

"Well?"

"Why, I paid him."

"But," cried Dantes, "it was a hundred and forty francs I
owed Caderousse."

"Yes," stammered the old man.

"And you paid him out of the two hundred francs I left you?"

The old man nodded.

"So that you have lived for three months on sixty francs,"
muttered Edmond.

"You know how little I require," said the old man.

"Heaven pardon me," cried Edmond, falling on his knees
before his father.

"What are you doing?"

"You have wounded me to the heart."

"Never mind it, for I see you once more," said the old man;
"and now it's all over -- everything is all right again."

"Yes, here I am," said the young man, "with a promising
future and a little money. Here, father, here!" he said,
"take this -- take it, and send for something immediately."
And he emptied his pockets on the table, the contents
consisting of a dozen gold pieces, five or six five-franc
pieces, and some smaller coin. The countenance of old Dantes
brightened.

"Whom does this belong to?" he inquired.

"To me, to you, to us! Take it; buy some provisions; be
happy, and to-morrow we shall have more."

"Gently, gently," said the old man, with a smile; "and by
your leave I will use your purse moderately, for they would
say, if they saw me buy too many things at a time, that I
had been obliged to await your return, in order to be able
to purchase them."

"Do as you please; but, first of all, pray have a servant,
father. I will not have you left alone so long. I have some
smuggled coffee and most capital tobacco, in a small chest
in the hold, which you shall have to-morrow. But, hush, here
comes somebody."

"'Tis Caderousse, who has heard of your arrival, and no
doubt comes to congratulate you on your fortunate return."

"Ah, lips that say one thing, while the heart thinks
another," murmured Edmond. "But, never mind, he is a
neighbor who has done us a service on a time, so he's
welcome."

As Edmond paused, the black and bearded head of Caderousse
appeared at the door. He was a man of twenty-five or six,
and held a piece of cloth, which, being a tailor, he was
about to make into a coat-lining.

"What, is it you, Edmond, back again?" said he, with a broad
Marseillaise accent, and a grin that displayed his
ivory-white teeth.

"Yes, as you see, neighbor Caderousse; and ready to be
agreeable to you in any and every way," replied Dantes, but
ill-concealing his coldness under this cloak of civility.

"Thanks -- thanks; but, fortunately, I do not want for
anything; and it chances that at times there are others who
have need of me." Dantes made a gesture. "I do not allude to
you, my boy. No! -- no! I lent you money, and you returned
it; that's like good neighbors, and we are quits."

"We are never quits with those who oblige us," was Dantes'
reply; "for when we do not owe them money, we owe them
gratitude."

"What's the use of mentioning that? What is done is done.
Let us talk of your happy return, my boy. I had gone on the
quay to match a piece of mulberry cloth, when I met friend
Danglars. `You at Marseilles?' -- `Yes,' says he.

"`I thought you were at Smyrna.' -- `I was; but am now back
again.'

"`And where is the dear boy, our little Edmond?'

"`Why, with his father, no doubt,' replied Danglars. And so
I came," added Caderousse, "as fast as I could to have the
pleasure of shaking hands with a friend."

"Worthy Caderousse!" said the old man, "he is so much
attached to us."

"Yes, to be sure I am. I love and esteem you, because honest
folks are so rare. But it seems you have come back rich, my
boy," continued the tailor, looking askance at the handful
of gold and silver which Dantes had thrown on the table.

The young man remarked the greedy glance which shone in the
dark eyes of his neighbor. "Eh," he said, negligently. "this
money is not mine. I was expressing to my father my fears
that he had wanted many things in my absence, and to
convince me he emptied his purse on the table. Come, father"
added Dantes, "put this money back in your box -- unless
neighbor Caderousse wants anything, and in that case it is
at his service."

"No, my boy, no," said Caderousse. "I am not in any want,
thank God, my living is suited to my means. Keep your money
-- keep it, I say; -- one never has too much; -- but, at the
same time, my boy, I am as much obliged by your offer as if
I took advantage of it."

"It was offered with good will," said Dantes.

"No doubt, my boy; no doubt. Well, you stand well with M.
Morrel I hear, -- you insinuating dog, you!"

"M. Morrel has always been exceedingly kind to me," replied
Dantes.

"Then you were wrong to refuse to dine with him."

"What, did you refuse to dine with him?" said old Dantes;
"and did he invite you to dine?"

"Yes, my dear father," replied Edmond, smiling at his
father's astonishment at the excessive honor paid to his
son.

"And why did you refuse, my son?" inquired the old man.

"That I might the sooner see you again, my dear father,"
replied the young man. "I was most anxious to see you."

"But it must have vexed M. Morrel, good, worthy man," said
Caderousse. "And when you are looking forward to be captain,
it was wrong to annoy the owner."

"But I explained to him the cause of my refusal," replied
Dantes, "and I hope he fully understood it."

"Yes, but to be captain one must do a little flattery to
one's patrons."

"I hope to be captain without that," said Dantes.

"So much the better -- so much the better! Nothing will give
greater pleasure to all your old friends; and I know one
down there behind the Saint Nicolas citadel who will not be
sorry to hear it."

"Mercedes?" said the old man.

"Yes, my dear father, and with your permission, now I have
seen you, and know you are well and have all you require, I
will ask your consent to go and pay a visit to the
Catalans."

"Go, my dear boy," said old Dantes: "and heaven bless you in
your wife, as it has blessed me in my son!"

"His wife!" said Caderousse; "why, how fast you go on,
father Dantes; she is not his wife yet, as it seems to me."

"So, but according to all probability she soon will be,"
replied Edmond.

"Yes -- yes," said Caderousse; "but you were right to return
as soon as possible, my boy."

"And why?"

"Because Mercedes is a very fine girl, and fine girls never
lack followers; she particularly has them by dozens."

"Really?" answered Edmond, with a smile which had in it
traces of slight uneasiness.

"Ah, yes," continued Caderousse, "and capital offers, too;
but you know, you will be captain, and who could refuse you
then?"

"Meaning to say," replied Dantes, with a smile which but
ill-concealed his trouble, "that if I were not a captain" --

"Eh -- eh!" said Caderousse, shaking his head.

"Come, come," said the sailor, "I have a better opinion than
you of women in general, and of Mercedes in particular; and
I am certain that, captain or not, she will remain ever
faithful to me."

"So much the better -- so much the better," said Caderousse.
"When one is going to be married, there is nothing like
implicit confidence; but never mind that, my boy, -- go and
announce your arrival, and let her know all your hopes and
prospects."

"I will go directly," was Edmond's reply; and, embracing his
father, and nodding to Caderousse, he left the apartment.

Caderousse lingered for a moment, then taking leave of old
Dantes, he went downstairs to rejoin Danglars, who awaited
him at the corner of the Rue Senac.

"Well," said Danglars, "did you see him?"

"I have just left him," answered Caderousse.

"Did he allude to his hope of being captain?"

"He spoke of it as a thing already decided."

"Indeed!" said Danglars, "he is in too much hurry, it
appears to me."

"Why, it seems M. Morrel has promised him the thing."

"So that he is quite elated about it?"

"Why, yes, he is actually insolent over the matter -- has
already offered me his patronage, as if he were a grand
personage, and proffered me a loan of money, as though he
were a banker."

"Which you refused?"

"Most assuredly; although I might easily have accepted it,
for it was I who put into his hands the first silver he ever
earned; but now M. Dantes has no longer any occasion for
assistance -- he is about to become a captain."

"Pooh!" said Danglars, "he is not one yet."

"Ma foi, it will be as well if he is not," answered
Caderousse; "for if he should be, there will be really no
speaking to him."

"If we choose," replied Danglars, "he will remain what he
is; and perhaps become even less than he is."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing -- I was speaking to myself. And is he still in
love with the Catalane?"

"Over head and ears; but, unless I am much mistaken, there
will be a storm in that quarter."

"Explain yourself."

"Why should I?"

"It is more important than you think, perhaps. You do not
like Dantes?"

"I never like upstarts."

"Then tell me all you know about the Catalane."

"I know nothing for certain; only I have seen things which
induce me to believe, as I told you, that the future captain
will find some annoyance in the vicinity of the Vieilles
Infirmeries."

"What have you seen? -- come, tell me!"

"Well, every time I have seen Mercedes come into the city
she has been accompanied by a tall, strapping, black-eyed
Catalan, with a red complexion, brown skin, and fierce air,
whom she calls cousin."

"Really; and you think this cousin pays her attentions?"

"I only suppose so. What else can a strapping chap of
twenty-one mean with a fine wench of seventeen?"

"And you say that Dantes has gone to the Catalans?"

"He went before I came down."

"Let us go the same way; we will stop at La Reserve, and we
can drink a glass of La Malgue, whilst we wait for news."

"Come along," said Caderousse; "but you pay the score."

"Of course," replied Danglars; and going quickly to the
designated place, they called for a bottle of wine, and two
glasses.

Pere Pamphile had seen Dantes pass not ten minutes before;
and assured that he was at the Catalans, they sat down under
the budding foliage of the planes and sycamores, in the
branches of which the birds were singing their welcome to
one of the first days of spring.



Literature Network » Alexandre Dumas » The Count of Monte Cristo » Chapter 2

CHAPTER 3
The Catalans.

Beyond a bare, weather-worn wall, about a hundred paces from
the spot where the two friends sat looking and listening as
they drank their wine, was the village of the Catalans. Long
ago this mysterious colony quitted Spain, and settled on the
tongue of land on which it is to this day. Whence it came no
one knew, and it spoke an unknown tongue. One of its chiefs,
who understood Provencal, begged the commune of Marseilles
to give them this bare and barren promontory, where, like
the sailors of old, they had run their boats ashore. The
request was granted; and three months afterwards, around the
twelve or fifteen small vessels which had brought these
gypsies of the sea, a small village sprang up. This village,
constructed in a singular and picturesque manner, half
Moorish, half Spanish, still remains, and is inhabited by
descendants of the first comers, who speak the language of
their fathers. For three or four centuries they have
remained upon this small promontory, on which they had
settled like a flight of seabirds, without mixing with the
Marseillaise population, intermarrying, and preserving their
original customs and the costume of their mother-country as
they have preserved its language.

Our readers will follow us along the only street of this
little village, and enter with us one of the houses, which
is sunburned to the beautiful dead-leaf color peculiar to
the buildings of the country, and within coated with
whitewash, like a Spanish posada. A young and beautiful
girl, with hair as black as jet, her eyes as velvety as the
gazelle's, was leaning with her back against the wainscot,
rubbing in her slender delicately moulded fingers a bunch of
heath blossoms, the flowers of which she was picking off and
strewing on the floor; her arms, bare to the elbow, brown,
and modelled after those of the Arlesian Venus, moved with a
kind of restless impatience, and she tapped the earth with
her arched and supple foot, so as to display the pure and
full shape of her well-turned leg, in its red cotton, gray
and blue clocked, stocking. At three paces from her, seated
in a chair which he balanced on two legs, leaning his elbow
on an old worm-eaten table, was a tall young man of twenty,
or two-and-twenty, who was looking at her with an air in
which vexation and uneasiness were mingled. He questioned
her with his eyes, but the firm and steady gaze of the young
girl controlled his look.

"You see, Mercedes," said the young man, "here is Easter
come round again; tell me, is this the moment for a
wedding?"

"I have answered you a hundred times, Fernand, and really
you must be very stupid to ask me again."

"Well, repeat it, -- repeat it, I beg of you, that I may at
last believe it! Tell me for the hundredth time that you
refuse my love, which had your mother's sanction. Make me
understand once for all that you are trifling with my
happiness, that my life or death are nothing to you. Ah, to
have dreamed for ten years of being your husband, Mercedes,
and to lose that hope, which was the only stay of my
existence!"

"At least it was not I who ever encouraged you in that hope,
Fernand," replied Mercedes; "you cannot reproach me with the
slightest coquetry. I have always said to you, `I love you
as a brother; but do not ask from me more than sisterly
affection, for my heart is another's.' Is not this true,
Fernand?"

"Yes, that is very true, Mercedes," replied the young man,
"Yes, you have been cruelly frank with me; but do you forget
that it is among the Catalans a sacred law to intermarry?"

"You mistake, Fernand; it is not a law, but merely a custom,
and, I pray of you, do not cite this custom in your favor.
You are included in the conscription, Fernand, and are only
at liberty on sufferance, liable at any moment to be called
upon to take up arms. Once a soldier, what would you do with
me, a poor orphan, forlorn, without fortune, with nothing
but a half-ruined hut and a few ragged nets, the miserable
inheritance left by my father to my mother, and by my mother
to me? She has been dead a year, and you know, Fernand, I
have subsisted almost entirely on public charity. Sometimes
you pretend I am useful to you, and that is an excuse to
share with me the produce of your fishing, and I accept it,
Fernand, because you are the son of my father's brother,
because we were brought up together, and still more because
it would give you so much pain if I refuse. But I feel very
deeply that this fish which I go and sell, and with the
produce of which I buy the flax I spin, -- I feel very
keenly, Fernand, that this is charity."

"And if it were, Mercedes, poor and lone as you are, you
suit me as well as the daughter of the first shipowner or
the richest banker of Marseilles! What do such as we desire
but a good wife and careful housekeeper, and where can I
look for these better than in you?"

"Fernand," answered Mercedes, shaking her head, "a woman
becomes a bad manager, and who shall say she will remain an
honest woman, when she loves another man better than her
husband? Rest content with my friendship, for I say once
more that is all I can promise, and I will promise no more
than I can bestow."

"I understand," replied Fernand, "you can endure your own
wretchedness patiently, but you are afraid to share mine.
Well, Mercedes, beloved by you, I would tempt fortune; you
would bring me good luck, and I should become rich. I could
extend my occupation as a fisherman, might get a place as
clerk in a warehouse, and become in time a dealer myself."

"You could do no such thing, Fernand; you are a soldier, and
if you remain at the Catalans it is because there is no war;
so remain a fisherman, and contented with my friendship, as
I cannot give you more."

"Well, I will do better, Mercedes. I will be a sailor;
instead of the costume of our fathers, which you despise, I
will wear a varnished hat, a striped shirt, and a blue
jacket, with an anchor on the buttons. Would not that dress
please you?"

"What do you mean?" asked Mercedes, with an angry glance, --
"what do you mean? I do not understand you?"

"I mean, Mercedes, that you are thus harsh and cruel with
me, because you are expecting some one who is thus attired;
but perhaps he whom you await is inconstant, or if he is
not, the sea is so to him."

"Fernand," cried Mercedes, "I believed you were
good-hearted, and I was mistaken! Fernand, you are wicked to
call to your aid jealousy and the anger of God! Yes, I will
not deny it, I do await, and I do love him of whom you
speak; and, if he does not return, instead of accusing him
of the inconstancy which you insinuate, I will tell you that
he died loving me and me only." The young girl made a
gesture of rage. "I understand you, Fernand; you would be
revenged on him because I do not love you; you would cross
your Catalan knife with his dirk. What end would that
answer? To lose you my friendship if he were conquered, and
see that friendship changed into hate if you were victor.
Believe me, to seek a quarrel with a man is a bad method of
pleasing the woman who loves that man. No, Fernand, you will
not thus give way to evil thoughts. Unable to have me for
your wife, you will content yourself with having me for your
friend and sister; and besides," she added, her eyes
troubled and moistened with tears, "wait, wait, Fernand; you
said just now that the sea was treacherous, and he has been
gone four months, and during these four months there have
been some terrible storms."

Fernand made no reply, nor did he attempt to check the tears
which flowed down the cheeks of Mercedes, although for each
of these tears he would have shed his heart's blood; but
these tears flowed for another. He arose, paced a while up
and down the hut, and then, suddenly stopping before
Mercedes, with his eyes glowing and his hands clinched, --
"Say, Mercedes," he said, "once for all, is this your final
determination?"

"I love Edmond Dantes," the young girl calmly replied, "and
none but Edmond shall ever be my husband."

"And you will always love him?"

"As long as I live."

Fernand let fall his head like a defeated man, heaved a sigh
that was like a groan, and then suddenly looking her full in
the face, with clinched teeth and expanded nostrils, said,
-- "But if he is dead" --

"If he is dead, I shall die too."

"If he has forgotten you" --

"Mercedes!" called a joyous voice from without, --
"Mercedes!"

"Ah," exclaimed the young girl, blushing with delight, and
fairly leaping in excess of love, "you see he has not
forgotten me, for here he is!" And rushing towards the door,
she opened it, saying, "Here, Edmond, here I am!"

Fernand, pale and trembling, drew back, like a traveller at
the sight of a serpent, and fell into a chair beside him.
Edmond and Mercedes were clasped in each other's arms. The
burning Marseilles sun, which shot into the room through the
open door, covered them with a flood of light. At first they
saw nothing around them. Their intense happiness isolated
them from all the rest of the world, and they only spoke in
broken words, which are the tokens of a joy so extreme that
they seem rather the expression of sorrow. Suddenly Edmond
saw the gloomy, pale, and threatening countenance of
Fernand, as it was defined in the shadow. By a movement for
which he could scarcely account to himself, the young
Catalan placed his hand on the knife at his belt.

"Ah, your pardon," said Dantes, frowning in his turn; "I did
not perceive that there were three of us." Then, turning to
Mercedes, he inquired, "Who is this gentleman?"

"One who will be your best friend, Dantes, for he is my
friend, my cousin, my brother; it is Fernand -- the man
whom, after you, Edmond, I love the best in the world. Do
you not remember him?"

"Yes!" said Dantes, and without relinquishing Mercedes hand
clasped in one of his own, he extended the other to the
Catalan with a cordial air. But Fernand, instead of
responding to this amiable gesture, remained mute and
trembling. Edmond then cast his eyes scrutinizingly at the
agitated and embarrassed Mercedes, and then again on the
gloomy and menacing Fernand. This look told him all, and his
anger waxed hot.

"I did not know, when I came with such haste to you, that I
was to meet an enemy here."

"An enemy!" cried Mercedes, with an angry look at her
cousin. "An enemy in my house, do you say, Edmond! If I
believed that, I would place my arm under yours and go with
you to Marseilles, leaving the house to return to it no
more."

Fernand's eye darted lightning. "And should any misfortune
occur to you, dear Edmond," she continued with the same
calmness which proved to Fernand that the young girl had
read the very innermost depths of his sinister thought, "if
misfortune should occur to you, I would ascend the highest
point of the Cape de Morgion and cast myself headlong from
it."

Fernand became deadly pale. "But you are deceived, Edmond,"
she continued. "You have no enemy here -- there is no one
but Fernand, my brother, who will grasp your hand as a
devoted friend."

And at these words the young girl fixed her imperious look
on the Catalan, who, as if fascinated by it, came slowly
towards Edmond, and offered him his hand. His hatred, like a
powerless though furious wave, was broken against the strong
ascendancy which Mercedes exercised over him. Scarcely,
however, had he touched Edmond's hand than he felt he had
done all he could do, and rushed hastily out of the house.

"Oh," he exclaimed, running furiously and tearing his hair
-- "Oh, who will deliver me from this man? Wretched --
wretched that I am!"

"Hallo, Catalan! Hallo, Fernand! where are you running to?"
exclaimed a voice.

The young man stopped suddenly, looked around him, and
perceived Caderousse sitting at table with Danglars, under
an arbor.

"Well", said Caderousse, "why don't you come? Are you really
in such a hurry that you have no time to pass the time of
day with your friends?"

"Particularly when they have still a full bottle before
them," added Danglars. Fernand looked at them both with a
stupefied air, but did not say a word.

"He seems besotted," said Danglars, pushing Caderousse with
his knee. "Are we mistaken, and is Dantes triumphant in
spite of all we have believed?"

"Why, we must inquire into that," was Caderousse's reply;
and turning towards the young man, said, "Well, Catalan,
can't you make up your mind?"

Fernand wiped away the perspiration steaming from his brow,
and slowly entered the arbor, whose shade seemed to restore
somewhat of calmness to his senses, and whose coolness
somewhat of refreshment to his exhausted body.

"Good-day," said he. "You called me, didn't you?" And he
fell, rather than sat down, on one of the seats which
surrounded the table.

"I called you because you were running like a madman, and I
was afraid you would throw yourself into the sea," said
Caderousse, laughing. "Why, when a man has friends, they are
not only to offer him a glass of wine, but, moreover, to
prevent his swallowing three or four pints of water
unnecessarily!"

Fernand gave a groan, which resembled a sob, and dropped his
head into his hands, his elbows leaning on the table.

"Well, Fernand, I must say," said Caderousse, beginning the
conversation, with that brutality of the common people in
which curiosity destroys all diplomacy, "you look uncommonly
like a rejected lover;" and he burst into a hoarse laugh.

"Bah!" said Danglars, "a lad of his make was not born to be
unhappy in love. You are laughing at him, Caderousse."

"No," he replied, "only hark how he sighs! Come, come,
Fernand," said Caderousse, "hold up your head, and answer
us. It's not polite not to reply to friends who ask news of
your health."

"My health is well enough," said Fernand, clinching his
hands without raising his head.

"Ah, you see, Danglars," said Caderousse, winking at his
friend, "this is how it is; Fernand, whom you see here, is a
good and brave Catalan, one of the best fishermen in
Marseilles, and he is in love with a very fine girl, named
Mercedes; but it appears, unfortunately, that the fine girl
is in love with the mate of the Pharaon; and as the Pharaon
arrived to-day -- why, you understand!"

"No; I do not understand," said Danglars.

"Poor Fernand has been dismissed," continued Caderousse.

"Well, and what then?" said Fernand, lifting up his head,
and looking at Caderousse like a man who looks for some one
on whom to vent his anger; "Mercedes is not accountable to
any person, is she? Is she not free to love whomsoever she
will?"

"Oh, if you take it in that sense," said Caderousse, "it is
another thing. But I thought you were a Catalan, and they
told me the Catalans were not men to allow themselves to be
supplanted by a rival. It was even told me that Fernand,
especially, was terrible in his vengeance."

Fernand smiled piteously. "A lover is never terrible," he
said.

"Poor fellow!" remarked Danglars, affecting to pity the
young man from the bottom of his heart. "Why, you see, he
did not expect to see Dantes return so suddenly -- he
thought he was dead, perhaps; or perchance faithless! These
things always come on us more severely when they come
suddenly."

"Ah, ma foi, under any circumstances," said Caderousse, who
drank as he spoke, and on whom the fumes of the wine began
to take effect, -- "under any circumstances Fernand is not
the only person put out by the fortunate arrival of Dantes;
is he, Danglars?"

"No, you are right -- and I should say that would bring him
ill-luck."

"Well, never mind," answered Caderousse, pouring out a glass
of wine for Fernand, and filling his own for the eighth or
ninth time, while Danglars had merely sipped his. "Never
mind -- in the meantime he marries Mercedes -- the lovely
Mercedes -- at least he returns to do that."

During this time Danglars fixed his piercing glance on the
young man, on whose heart Caderousse's words fell like
molten lead.

"And when is the wedding to be?" he asked.

"Oh, it is not yet fixed!" murmured Fernand.

"No, but it will be," said Caderousse, "as surely as Dantes
will be captain of the Pharaon -- eh, Danglars?"

Danglars shuddered at this unexpected attack, and turned to
Caderousse, whose countenance he scrutinized, to try and
detect whether the blow was premeditated; but he read
nothing but envy in a countenance already rendered brutal
and stupid by drunkenness.

"Well," said he, filling the glasses, "let us drink to
Captain Edmond Dantes, husband of the beautiful Catalane!"

Caderousse raised his glass to his mouth with unsteady hand,
and swallowed the contents at a gulp. Fernand dashed his on
the ground.

"Eh, eh, eh!" stammered Caderousse. "What do I see down
there by the wall, in the direction of the Catalans? Look,
Fernand, your eyes are better than mine. I believe I see
double. You know wine is a deceiver; but I should say it was
two lovers walking side by side, and hand in hand. Heaven
forgive me, they do not know that we can see them, and they
are actually embracing!"

Danglars did not lose one pang that Fernand endured.

"Do you know them, Fernand?" he said.

"Yes," was the reply, in a low voice. "It is Edmond and
Mercedes!"

"Ah, see there, now!" said Caderousse; "and I did not
recognize them! Hallo, Dantes! hello, lovely damsel! Come
this way, and let us know when the wedding is to be, for
Fernand here is so obstinate he will not tell us."

"Hold your tongue, will you?" said Danglars, pretending to
restrain Caderousse, who, with the tenacity of drunkards,
leaned out of the arbor. "Try to stand upright, and let the
lovers make love without interruption. See, look at Fernand,
and follow his example; he is well-behaved!"

Fernand, probably excited beyond bearing, pricked by
Danglars, as the bull is by the bandilleros, was about to
rush out; for he had risen from his seat, and seemed to be
collecting himself to dash headlong upon his rival, when
Mercedes, smiling and graceful, lifted up her lovely head,
and looked at them with her clear and bright eyes. At this
Fernand recollected her threat of dying if Edmond died, and
dropped again heavily on his seat. Danglars looked at the
two men, one after the other, the one brutalized by liquor,
the other overwhelmed with love.

"I shall get nothing from these fools," he muttered; "and I
am very much afraid of being here between a drunkard and a
coward. Here's an envious fellow making himself boozy on
wine when he ought to be nursing his wrath, and here is a
fool who sees the woman he loves stolen from under his nose
and takes on like a big baby. Yet this Catalan has eyes that
glisten like those of the vengeful Spaniards, Sicilians, and
Calabrians, and the other has fists big enough to crush an
ox at one blow. Unquestionably, Edmond's star is in the
ascendant, and he will marry the splendid girl -- he will be
captain, too, and laugh at us all, unless" -- a sinister
smile passed over Danglars' lips -- "unless I take a hand in
the affair," he added.

"Hallo!" continued Caderousse, half-rising, and with his
fist on the table, "hallo, Edmond! do you not see your
friends, or are you too proud to speak to them?"

"No, my dear fellow!" replied Dantes, "I am not proud, but I
am happy, and happiness blinds, I think, more than pride."

"Ah, very well, that's an explanation!" said Caderousse.
"How do you do, Madame Dantes?"

Mercedes courtesied gravely, and said -- "That is not my
name, and in my country it bodes ill fortune, they say, to
call a young girl by the name of her betrothed before he
becomes her husband. So call me Mercedes, if you please."

"We must excuse our worthy neighbor, Caderousse," said
Dantes, "he is so easily mistaken."

"So, then, the wedding is to take place immediately, M.
Dantes," said Danglars, bowing to the young couple.

"As soon as possible, M. Danglars; to-day all preliminaries
will be arranged at my father's, and to-morrow, or next day
at latest, the wedding festival here at La Reserve. My
friends will be there, I hope; that is to say, you are
invited, M. Danglars, and you, Caderousse."

"And Fernand," said Caderousse with a chuckle; "Fernand,
too, is invited!"

"My wife's brother is my brother," said Edmond; "and we,
Mercedes and I, should be very sorry if he were absent at
such a time."

Fernand opened his mouth to reply, but his voice died on his
lips, and he could not utter a word.

"To-day the preliminaries, to-morrow or next day the
ceremony! You are in a hurry, captain!"

"Danglars," said Edmond, smiling, "I will say to you as
Mercedes said just now to Caderousse, `Do not give me a
title which does not belong to me'; that may bring me bad
luck."

"Your pardon," replied Danglars, "I merely said you seemed
in a hurry, and we have lots of time; the Pharaon cannot be
under weigh again in less than three months."

"We are always in a hurry to be happy, M. Danglars; for when
we have suffered a long time, we have great difficulty in
believing in good fortune. But it is not selfishness alone
that makes me thus in haste; I must go to Paris."

"Ah, really? -- to Paris! and will it be the first time you
have ever been there, Dantes?"

"Yes."

"Have you business there?"

"Not of my own; the last commission of poor Captain Leclere;
you know to what I allude, Danglars -- it is sacred.
Besides, I shall only take the time to go and return."

"Yes, yes, I understand," said Danglars, and then in a low
tone, he added, "To Paris, no doubt to deliver the letter
which the grand marshal gave him. Ah, this letter gives me
an idea -- a capital idea! Ah; Dantes, my friend, you are
not yet registered number one on board the good ship
Pharaon;" then turning towards Edmond, who was walking away,
"A pleasant journey," he cried.

"Thank you," said Edmond with a friendly nod, and the two
lovers continued on their way, as calm and joyous as if they
were the very elect of heaven.



Literature Network » Alexandre Dumas » The Count of Monte Cristo » Chapter 3

Danglars followed Edmond and Mercedes with his eyes until
the two lovers disappeared behind one of the angles of Fort
Saint Nicolas, then turning round, he perceived Fernand, who
had fallen, pale and trembling, into his chair, while
Caderousse stammered out the words of a drinking-song.

"Well, my dear sir," said Danglars to Fernand, "here is a
marriage which does not appear to make everybody happy."

"It drives me to despair," said Fernand.

"Do you, then, love Mercedes?"

"I adore her!"

"For long?"

"As long as I have known her -- always."

"And you sit there, tearing your hair, instead of seeking to
remedy your condition; I did not think that was the way of
your people."

"What would you have me do?" said Fernand.

"How do I know? Is it my affair? I am not in love with
Mademoiselle Mercedes; but for you -- in the words of the
gospel, seek, and you shall find."

"I have found already."

"What?"

"I would stab the man, but the woman told me that if any
misfortune happened to her betrothed, she would kill
herself."

"Pooh! Women say those things, but never do them."

"You do not know Mercedes; what she threatens she will do."

"Idiot!" muttered Danglars; "whether she kill herself or
not, what matter, provided Dantes is not captain?"

"Before Mercedes should die," replied Fernand, with the
accents of unshaken resolution, "I would die myself!"

"That's what I call love!" said Caderousse with a voice more
tipsy than ever. "That's love, or I don't know what love
is."

"Come," said Danglars, "you appear to me a good sort of
fellow, and hang me, I should like to help you, but" --

"Yes," said Caderousse, "but how?"

"My dear fellow," replied Danglars, "you are three parts
drunk; finish the bottle, and you will be completely so.
Drink then, and do not meddle with what we are discussing,
for that requires all one's wit and cool judgment."

"I -- drunk!" said Caderousse; "well that's a good one! I
could drink four more such bottles; they are no bigger than
cologne flasks. Pere Pamphile, more wine!" and Caderousse
rattled his glass upon the table.

"You were saving, sir" -- said Fernand, awaiting with great
anxiety the end of this interrupted remark.

"What was I saying? I forget. This drunken Caderousse has
made me lose the thread of my sentence."

"Drunk, if you like; so much the worse for those who fear
wine, for it is because they have bad thoughts which they
are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts;" and
Caderousse began to sing the two last lines of a song very
popular at the time, --

`Tous les mechants sont beuveurs d'eau;
C'est bien prouve par le deluge.'*

* "The wicked are great drinkers of water
As the flood proved once for all."

"You said, sir, you would like to help me, but" --

"Yes; but I added, to help you it would be sufficient that
Dantes did not marry her you love; and the marriage may
easily be thwarted, methinks, and yet Dantes need not die."

"Death alone can separate them," remarked Fernand.

"You talk like a noodle, my friend," said Caderousse; "and
here is Danglars, who is a wide-awake, clever, deep fellow,
who will prove to you that you are wrong. Prove it,
Danglars. I have answered for you. Say there is no need why
Dantes should die; it would, indeed, be a pity he should.
Dantes is a good fellow; I like Dantes. Dantes, your
health."

Fernand rose impatiently. "Let him run on," said Danglars,
restraining the young man; "drunk as he is, he is not much
out in what he says. Absence severs as well as death, and if
the walls of a prison were between Edmond and Mercedes they
would be as effectually separated as if he lay under a
tombstone."

"Yes; but one gets out of prison," said Caderousse, who,
with what sense was left him, listened eagerly to the
conversation, "and when one gets out and one's name is
Edmond Dantes, one seeks revenge" --

"What matters that?" muttered Fernand.

"And why, I should like to know," persisted Caderousse,
"should they put Dantes in prison? he has not robbed or
killed or murdered."

"Hold your tongue!" said Danglars.

"I won't hold my tongue!" replied Caderousse; "I say I want
to know why they should put Dantes in prison; I like Dantes;
Dantes, your health!" and he swallowed another glass of
wine.

Danglars saw in the muddled look of the tailor the progress
of his intoxication, and turning towards Fernand, said,
"Well, you understand there is no need to kill him."

"Certainly not, if, as you said just now, you have the means
of having Dantes arrested. Have you that means?"

"It is to be found for the searching. But why should I
meddle in the matter? it is no affair of mine.";

"I know not why you meddle," said Fernand, seizing his arm;
"but this I know, you have some motive of pers
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