going in tomorrow evening around 6ish to induce. jackie is supremely uncomfortable and the little one can't have much wiggle room in there. we kept holding out for a natural onset but we're at 41½ weeks and the doctors really don't feel it's safe to delay any longer. I am shitting bricks but I'm told that's perfectly normal under such circumstances. will keep errbuddeh posted.
I don't think bricks coming out of your anus is normal under any circumstances. Much less 'perfectly normal'.
Is this your first legitimate kid?
rex would like to know what sex with women is like.
funny, I thought rex had me on ignore this whole time.
Good luck, Sammitch. You, your wife, and your child are in my thoughts and cares (yeah, usually reads prayers but you know how I am with religion). Wish all of you the best and congrats.
funny, I thought rex had me on ignore this whole time.
Rex just can't quit you. You're like the sock that got away.
Since Iggy won't, I'll be praying for you guys this morning! Text me when all's said and/or done, bro!
funny, I thought rex had me on ignore this whole time.
Win.
less posting, more baby! (and congrats, and all)
Much luck.
Did ya'll deliver yet? I hope it is all going okay!
Much luck.
Did ya'll deliver yet? I hope it is all going okay!
No, Elisa. Sammitch wouldn't be the one to deliver. He's the father and...y'know what? No. Let Jeff explain this stuff to you...
Isn't Elisa prego? Boy is she going to be surprised in a few months when it's time for the baby to be born.
Elisa-"I GOTTA BE THE ONE TO DELIVER THIS BABY?? ARE YOU FUCKIN' KIDING ME"!!!??
we've been here for eighteen hours. this kid has got to be pretty damn comfy in there because she seems to be in no hurry to emerge. jackie's fine with it - actually she's fine with the entire universe ever since they faded in the epidural for her. it'll probably happen by the end of the day but we're not rushing this any more than absolutely necessary. the birthing suite is damn comfy and has decent wifi and three different people have brought us (me, she's on liquids only) food or snacks thus far so I'm not complaining. hell, she needs to pop another one of these out in a few years so we can crash here again.
Put some headphones on her stomach and play The Legend of Zelda soundtrack. The child will believe itself on a quest and start moving. Little does he/she know, the level will last about ninety-years, and the Boss Fight will involve a midlife crisis and a mortgage...
You laugh, but.... COMING SOON:
The Legend of Zelda 2012 : The Child of Glacier!!
still no significant progress to report. pitocin seemed to have outlasted its usefulness so they've shut that off, but the epidural's still going strong so there's a decent chance of c-section. not looking forward to that but the procedure's a lot better than it used to be.
On the bright side, your wife is going to have one hell of a guilt card to play on this kid for the next fifty years.
JoAnn Elizabeth Smith
8:35 pm, october 5, 2011.
6lbs 8oz, 19in.
thanks guys! yeah we're all three pretty wiped - it was a taxing day for all parties concerned...
CONGRATUMALATION, Mr. SMITH!
thanks guys! yeah we're all three pretty wiped - it was a taxing day for all parties concerned...
Obama and his evil Democrat cronies are even taxing days now.
-Dave the Wonderboy
Oh, and congratulation, Phil. You have a child now, and your life is now ended.
Congrats, Phil.
It's not too late to add "Ultimate" to her name, is it?
JoAnn Elizabeth Pre-2005 Smith
thanks guys! yeah we're all three pretty wiped - it was a taxing day for all parties concerned...
Obama and his evil Democrat cronies are even taxing days now.
-Dave the Wonderboy
congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Sammitch! oh, Captain and Mrs. Sammitch!
Way to procreate, Philsy! Can't wait to meet her!
Congratulations Sammitch for the kid, and Chewy for being so dreamy.
JoAnn Elizabeth Smith
8:35 pm, october 5, 2011.
6lbs 8oz, 19in.
Wait. Please don't tell me she shares a birthday with JLA.
THE CHOSEN ONE HAS BEEN BORN!! HEIR APPARENT TO PRE-2005!! THE POWER IS HERS!!
Sorry, JLA. There can be only one.
JoAnn Elizabeth Smith
8:35 pm, october 5, 2011.
6lbs 8oz, 19in.
Wait. Please don't tell me she shares a birthday with JLA.
Still don't won't to share any cake with SoM, eh?
SOMEDAY I WILL HAVE CAKE.
Sorry, JLA. There can be only one.
post-2005 paul mandral versus a nineteen-hour-old child, for all the marbles...
been nice knowin ya, paulie.
(she has demonstrated a profound ability to stare)
(the visual acuity of the average newborn is approximately 20/400. having her eyes open counts as blank staring.)
(she has demonstrated a profound ability to stare)
I think I may have become way too desensitized considering the first joke that popped into my head on reading that last post.
(she has demonstrated a profound ability to stare)
"That's because she was stillborn."
Yeah, too tasteless, even for me.
you can't unload a truckload of watermelons with a pitchfork!
<__<
>__>
so this guy walks into a talent agent's office with his wife and two kids and dog and says "hey, buddy, have I got an act for you! what happens is
After a friend of mine got married, he was talking about how his life had somehow started turning into a 90's sitcom and that his catchphrase would be, "Uh-oh! Josh's in trouble!" When his daughter was born, we extended that to him being an incompetent dad who'd lead to the death of his kid in humorous ways. Each episode would end with him in the back of the police car in cuffs, sadly saying his catchphrase to the camera.
it's got more mileage as a catchphrase than "hey! wha happen?"
I remember one scenario was him taking her to the petting zoo but winding up at an illegal dogfight by mistake.
Yeah, too tasteless, even for me.
Not for me!
Congratulations Sammitch. When does she meet Aunt Mocha and her brown brother?
JoAnn Elizabeth Smith
8:35 pm, october 5, 2011.
6lbs 8oz, 19in.
Congratulations......let the 2am feedings commence!!
2am... and 3:30am... and 5am... this kid's stomach is smaller than a golf ball, and it empties just as fast as it fills up. about 4 this morning I was helping jackie change the baby's diaper and as soon as the wall of odor hit me I thought of nothing so much as the scene in
raiders where the nazis open the ark.
2am... and 3:30am... and 5am... this kid's stomach is smaller than a golf ball, and it empties just as fast as it fills up. about 4 this morning I was helping jackie change the baby's diaper and as soon as the wall of odor hit me I thought of nothing so much as the scene in
raiders where the nazis open the ark.
DON'T LOOK MARION!!! KEEP YOUR EYES SHUT!!!
