ASK KING SNARF!!!

Quote:

Joe Mama said:
KS: Are you West Philadelphia, born and raised? On the playground did you spend most of your days?

I actually grew up in the suburbs outside of Philly.

Quote:

Uschi said:
Does Joe Mama have hair under that cap or is he a cancer patient?

Actually, his hat conceals a tasty crop of mushrooms.

He's right. They're delicious and magical.

Quote:

sneaky bunny said:
balonga: mustard or mayo!?

Mustard, which should be the condiment on all pork and beef based sandwiches. Mayo you should save for poultry based sandwiches, specifically turkey.

Why hasn't anyone asked you any questions since September?

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Quote:

What happened to a team as talented as the Phillies, who I had picked to win the NL East, that caused their downfall this year?

How could the Flyers lose FOUR STRAIGHT GAMES when they went to the Stanley Cup? It's the Philly choke factor.

King Snarf User Award-Winning Author
10000+ posts 08/11/09 12:22 AM Reading a post
Forum: off topic and offensive posts
Thread: ASK KING SNARF!!!

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Quote:

Joe Mama said:
Oh yeah, Sneaky Bunny...it's a WILD NIGHT for all! Who wants to hear the new Hootie album?

I would posit that many Hootie fans, also known as Blowfishianados, would like to hear said album.

I still get a kick out of this joke. Blowfishianados... Heh. I'm so clever....

No, you're not.

Please phrase that in the form of a question.

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Quote:

What is the one song I should try to put in my girlfriend's head, when she wants to talk about "our relationship", that will blow her concentration to the point where we won't be able to have said conversation?

MMM-Bop.

gay

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Quote:

should I take off my shirt?

No, tis chilly out and you could catch your death!

gayer

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

What the HELL is a vagina?!?

gayest

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Quote:

Joe Mama said:
Oh yeah, Sneaky Bunny...it's a WILD NIGHT for all! Who wants to hear the new Hootie album?

I would posit that many Hootie fans, also known as Blowfishianados, would like to hear said album.

I still get a kick out of this joke. Blowfishianados... Heh. I'm so clever....

Nope, you are neither clever or funny.
You are in fact the king of suck!
The duke of dork!
The lord of gay!
The turd of Philly!
The retard of the world!
The shit cunt of all shit cunts!

Originally Posted By: Nöwheremän

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Quote:

Joe Mama said:
Oh yeah, Sneaky Bunny...it's a WILD NIGHT for all! Who wants to hear the new Hootie album?

I would posit that many Hootie fans, also known as Blowfishianados, would like to hear said album.

I still get a kick out of this joke. Blowfishianados... Heh. I'm so clever....

Nope, you are neither clever or funny.
You are in fact the king of suck!
The duke of dork!
The lord of gay!
The turd of Philly!
The retard of the world!
The shit cunt of all shit cunts!

iron chef

After the first commercial break, Brown typically asks Kevin Brauch to introduce the jud
ges. Generally, Kevin pays homage to the program's origins by adding, Konban Wa (Japanese
for "Good evening") to his introduction. Unlike the original series, none of the judges
participate in the running commentary, although Brown returns to the them roughly mid-
battle for their comments on the ongoing battle and the secret ingredient. Over the
course of the cooking hour, Brown may also provide further information on the theme i
ngredient, using visual aids as required.

Facts are stupid things.
Ronald Reagan

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.
Ronald Reagan

Nancy Reagan

Soon after graduation she became a professional actress. She toured with a road company, then landed a role on Broadway in the hit musical Lute Song. More parts followed. One performance drew an offer from Hollywood. Billed as Nancy Davis, she performed in 11 films from 1949 to 1956. Her first screen role was in Shadow on the Wall. Other releases included The Next Voice Your Hear and East Side, West Side. In her last movie, Hellcats of the Navy, she played opposite her husband.

She had met Ronald Reagan in 1951, when he was president of the Screen Actors Guild. The following year they were married in a simple ceremony in Los Angeles in the Little Brown Church in the Valley. Mrs. Reagan soon retired from making movies so she "could be the wife I wanted to be...A woman's real happiness and real fulfillment come from within the home with her husband and children," she says. President and Mrs. Reagan have a daughter, Patricia Ann, and a son, Ronald Prescott.

While her husband was Governor of California from 1967 to 1975, she worked with numerous charitable groups. She spent many hours visiting veterans, the elderly, and the emotionally and physically handicapped. These people continued to interest her as First Lady. She gave her support to the Foster Grandparent Program, the subject of her 1982 book, To Love A Child. Increasingly, she has concentrated on the fight against drug and alcohol abuse among young people. She visited prevention and rehabilitation centers, and in 1985 she held a conference at the White House for First Ladies of 17 countries to focus international attention on this problem.

Mrs. Reagan shared her lifelong interest in the arts with the nation by using the Executive Mansion as a showcase for talented young performers in the PBS television series "In Performance at the White House." In her first year in the mansion she directed a major renovation of the second- and third-floor quarters.

Now living in retirement in California, she continues to work on her campaign to teach children to "just say no" to drugs. In her book My Turn, published in 1989, she gives her own account of her life in the White House. Through the joys and sorrows of those days, including the assassination attempt on her husband, Nancy Reagan held fast to her belief in love, honesty, and selflessness. "The ideals have endured because they are right and are no less right today than yesterday."

I have a question.

did you finally decide to kill yourself?

Will any woman every want you?

Wait, hold on. Nevermind. Sorry, I should've used the search engine before asking.

I'm so embarassed now.

$\:damn\:$

Originally Posted By: BASAMS The Plumber

Originally Posted By: Nöwheremän

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Quote:

Joe Mama said:
Oh yeah, Sneaky Bunny...it's a WILD NIGHT for all! Who wants to hear the new Hootie album?

I would posit that many Hootie fans, also known as Blowfishianados, would like to hear said album.

I still get a kick out of this joke. Blowfishianados... Heh. I'm so clever....

Nope, you are neither clever or funny.
You are in fact the king of suck!
The duke of dork!
The lord of gay!
The turd of Philly!
The retard of the world!
The shit cunt of all shit cunts!

John Byrne
Near the end of his time at Marvel he was hired by DC Comics to
revamp its flagship character Superman. This was part of a
company-wide restructuring of the history of the DC Universe and
all of its characters following the miniseries Crisis on Infinite
Earths. Byrne’s reworking of Superman in particular gained
widespread media coverage outside the comic book industry,
including articles in Time and The New York Times.

The “Byrne Curse”
Byrne has referenced his alleged tendency to “predict” real-life
events with his comic books, calling it the “Byrne Curse.”[27] In
a letter to Skeptic magazine, he noted a 1977 issue of Marvel
Team-Up depicting a blackout in New York, with a real-life
blackout occurring the month the issue went on sale, six months
after he had drawn it; and an issue of Wonder Woman in which
the death of the superheroine, who is an Amazon princess named
Diana, is presented on the cover as a newspaper front page with
the headline “Princess Diana Dies.” The issue went on sale on a
Wednesday, and Britain’s Diana, Princess of Wales was killed in
an accident three days later.

I think I've just found the angel I'd like to be touched by.

Can I lick that film off your teeth?

Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.

Your body is a wonderland and i want to be Alice.

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Giant polar bear (What?) It's an icebreaker. Hi, my name is....

"'Discussion' is for bio-organisms." -- Deathlok

"I thought [ninjas] just hung around airports and got sucked up into jet engines."
-The Tick (The Tick #3)

"Little did Chairface know that the alligator is the cow's natural-born enemy"
-Angus MacGuire (The Tick #7)

King Of The Dogs
Iggy Pop

I've got a smelly rear
I've got a dirty nose
I don't want no shoes
I don't want no clothes
I'm livin', like the king of the dogs.

I got a piece of meat
In between my teeth
I'll bite your throat
If you move on me
I'm sovereign
Cause I'm the king of the dogs.

Though I'd like to thrill you
With an answer
I don't even own a pair of pants
I'm a dancer, baby!

I'm deadly
Cause I'm the king of the dogs.

I'm hanging out
Where the spirits dwell
I smell the things
That you cannot smell
I'm deadly
I'm the king of the dogs.

Aye-aye

The Aye-aye (Daubentonia madagascariensis) is a strepsirrhine
native to Madagascar that combines rodent-like teeth with a long,
thin middle finger to fill the same ecological niche as a
woodpecker. It is the world's largest nocturnal primate, and is
characterized by its unique method of finding food; it taps on
trees to find grubs, then gnaws holes in the wood and inserts
its elongated middle finger to pull the grubs out.
Daubentonia is the only genus in the family Daubentoniidae and
infraorder Chiromyiformes. The Aye-aye is the only extant member
of the genus (although it is currently an endangered species); a
second species (Daubentonia robusta) was exterminated over the
last few centuries.

Originally Posted By: Captain Sammitch

I have a question.

did you finally decide to kill yourself?

Nope.

Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk

Will any woman every want you?

Maybe... I've got some prospects....

Originally Posted By: Frank Burns

Can I lick that film off your teeth?

... No.

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Originally Posted By: Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk

Will any woman every want you?

Maybe... I've got some prospects....

Seriously dude, give it up. alone forever.

prospects $\:lol\:$ $\:lol\:$ $\:lol\:$

He's been reading the obituaries.

Originally Posted By: thedoctor

He's been reading the obituaries.

I think he put 'em down when he realized how much effort diggin' 'em up was gonna take.

Originally Posted By: thedoctor

He's been reading the obituaries.

$\:lol\:$

i fell off my chair!

Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa
looked around for a moment, then hollered “No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT
house!”

What does Santa put on his toast?
"Jingle Jam"

What do you do if Santa Claus gets stuck in your chimney?
Pour Santa flush on him!

Stewie in FAMILY GUY

"Careful! You're washing a baby's scalp, not scrubbing the vomit out of a Christmas dress, you stupid holiday drunk . . ."

Bart: Ah, come on, dad, this could be the miracle that saves The Simpsons christmas! If TV has taught me anything, its that miracles always happens to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to The Smurfs, and it's gonna happen to us!

You Might Be Canadian If...

You make up patriotic lyrics to go along with David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme.

You cried when Gus "drowned" on Road To Avonlea.

You Might Be Canadian If...

You know that the Canadian Alliance is just the Reform Party with better hair.
You know that, contrary to general belief, the Inuit have about the same amount of words for snow as do English speakers. Your favourite Inuit word for 'snow' is "navcaq" (snow formation about to collapse).

Your local zoo is mainly flamingoes, giraffes and sad elephants freezing their asses off against a backdrop of pine trees, grey skies, and precambrian shield formations.

You wonder why squirrels and seagulls somehow manage to get in every zoo exhibit (including the parking lot and squirrel and seagull exhibits).

You live in a "beach town" and have to eat your brothers and sisters to stay alive during the winter months.

Frank Burns is a twat.
-MisterJLA

Originally Posted By: thedoctor

He's been reading the obituaries.

And hopefully now he is in them.

If only Hitler and Mussolini could have a good game of bowls once a week at Geneva, I feel that Europe would not be as troubled as it is.

MYTH:
All Sports Psychology Techniques Work Equally Well For All Athletes, And All Performance Issues.

FACT:
Not all sports psychology methodologies are recommended for all problems, sports, teams or individual athletes. For example, the public considers visualization to be one of the most commonly utilized techniques in sports psychology, yet it has been estimated that fewer than 60% of athletes can benefit from it. Some athletes are unable to generate imagery at all, even after extensive training.

Your daddy so old he has to stick his dick in the freezer to get it hard.

Yo daddy dick so lil if your mom was an ant she still couldn’t play with it.

*The average bathroom faucet flows at a rate of two gallons per minute. Turning off the tap while brushing your teeth in the morning and at bedtime can save up to 8 gallons of water per day, which equals 240 gallons a month.

*More than 400 paper mills in the United States use at least some recovered materials in their manufacturing processes, and more than 200 of those mills use recovered fiber exclusively.

Google 36 minutes 32 seconds ago Reading a post
Forum: off topic and offensive posts
Thread: ASK KING SNARF!!!

Don't waste your time, Google...

Originally Posted By: rex

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Quote:

MMM-Bop.

gay

Originally Posted By: rex

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

Quote:

should I take off my shirt?

No, tis chilly out and you could catch your death!

gayer

Originally Posted By: rex

Originally Posted By: King Snarf

What the HELL is a vagina?!?

gayest

"The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

"   "All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

"   "I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. " 

1079

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