http://omegle.com/

Chat with strangers!

So far I've been able to scare four people off within six IMs.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: hi
You: Where are you from?
Stranger: ny you?
You: Pelican Bay
Stranger: weres that
You: It's a prison in California
Stranger: D;
You: I'm allowed 45 minutes of internet a day.
Stranger: why are you in prison?
You: I was intoxicated and had sex with a public statue.
Stranger: wtf looooooooool
You:
It was winter and I froze to it.
Stranger: lying ass lol
You: They had to call an ambulance
Stranger: and why would they send you to prison lmfao
You: I never paid the fine
Stranger: lol u would not
Stranger: how long you have to stay?
You: I'm doing thirty days
You: It was a small statue
Stranger: wow
Stranger: and how old r u lol?l
You: in oregon they charge you with statue rape by size of the victim.
You: I mean California

Ok that is mildly amusing.

You: hi
Stranger: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
You: none!
You: you still there?
Stranger: no no, that's how much wood a wood chuck actually could chuck
You: am I still here?
Stranger: I wanna know how much it would be if they could in fact chuck wood
Stranger: that's very existential
Stranger: I think
Stranger: I believe that makes me am
You: two piles of wood about so high and a small ple about half as high.
You: me am real man!
Stranger: exactly
Stranger: well done
You: I wonder if woodchucks taste good.
You: maybe boil 'em in a soup.
Stranger: well hopefully it doesn't taste like wood
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Have you heard of those new message boards?
Stranger: uhh, no?
You: http://www.rkmbs.com
You: They belong to the guy who used to run the dcmbs.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: ese asno
You: 1
You: That was me pressing 1 for english
Stranger: qué
You: 1
Stranger: ??
You: Were those english question marks?
Stranger: qué
You: 1
Stranger: why was the man...
Stranger: ...driving in the kitchen?
Stranger: YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You: Hi
Stranger: hi!
You: I think this place is full of dudes
Stranger: oh are you a girl?
Stranger: i mean, i'm a girl but i want to know if you're a girl.
You: I'm a guy
You: Are you hot?
Stranger: oh.
Stranger: in that case i'm a guy.
You: Wanna make out?
Stranger: i'm about 400 lbs and i haven't seen my vagina in about three years
Stranger: still wanna make out?
You: I haven't seen a vagina since I got half a blow job
You: What's your aim name?
Stranger: i don't have aim
You: yahoo?
You: msn?
Stranger: i don't have that either
Stranger: you sound really desperate
You: I once won 25 dollars in a writing contest
Stranger: is your name tomecatti?
You: Do you like soul caliber?
You: No, my name is matt
Stranger: no i do not like soul caliber--wait how old are you
You: Wanna have cyber sex?
You: 30
Stranger: ROFL
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: NO.
Stranger: ROFL
Stranger: OKAY, BYE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Yo
You: yo!
Stranger: whats up
You: the sky
Stranger: ahhh
Stranger: u got me
Stranger: u like hentai?
You: why vagina is tingly
Stranger: so is mine
Stranger: sorta
You: My nutsack is rubbing against it
Stranger: lol
Stranger: this site is randomness
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: HELLO
Stranger: HELLO
Stranger: …………………………………………""-^*''''*^~^*'''*^-""
……………………………………."-^*''::::::::::"""-~-""~-*-""-^*~~-""
……………………………….."-^*''::::"""-::::""-~~-""::~-""::::/:::-~^^-"
……………………………."-*':::::::::"-^*::-"":::~-""::-":::/::""""-~:::::'\
………………………….../::::::::"-~^^::::^~-"-":::"-*-"/":::::::::::""-::'\
…………………………../::::::::/::-~~-""::-"::'\:""-*' . . . . *-"::::"""-~^::
…………………………::::::::~~-""____"""-~^* . . . . . . . . *-":::::::-"\
…………………………:::::"-^*''? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'\::::^-":-"\
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…………………………..\:::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . \:::~-"""
……………………………\::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\:::::::"-'"
…………………………….*-| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-~~~~-"" . . .'\::::/ /''\'\
……………………………...-| . ""-~~~~-" . . . . "-*"-^*''o??'''''*' . . . \:/ / . | |
……………………………...'\| .*^^*'''?o?'''*-" . . . ,''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . | .\*-" '|
…………………………….... . *^~~-~^*'' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./-~./
……………………………….\'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'| . . /'
……………………………….. . . . . . . ."- ' . . . .*^" . . . . . . . . . . '|*^*' I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..
…………………………………*-" . . . . . \"-""_""-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .'| ........Why don't you have a seat over there
……………………………………\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…………………………………….'\ . . . ""_""-~--~^*''''''. . . . . . . . . / .\
……………………………………...\ . . . .''*^~~~^^* . . . . . . . . . '/ . . \-"-"
……………………………………….''-" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."-* . . . | . \''*-""
………………………………………….*-" . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-^'' . . . . / . . '\;;;;*^-""
…………………………………………...*^-"" . . . . . . .""-*' . . . . . ./' . . . ;;;;;;;;;;?''*^~-""_
……………………………………….""-^*'|\ . . ?''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . ."-* . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;?'''*^~-""_
……………………………….."""-^*'';;;;;;;;| *-" . . . . . . . . . . . "-*'' . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?''*^-""
…………………………""-^*''?;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;|\ . .*-"" . . . . . . ."-*' . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*^ ~-""
……………………""-^*';;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;'|.\ . . . *^~-""""-^*' . . . . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;?'''*^-""_
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…….../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . '\"-* . ::::::/ . . . . *^-""/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-'"";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
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You: OH FUCK
You: OH FUCK
You: LOOK
You: LOOK, I
You: OH FUCK
You: LOOK I SWEAR
You: FUCK
Stranger: What did you plan on doing here today, exactly?
You: FUCK I SWEAR
You: I SWEAR I DIDNT
You: I SWEAR I
You: OH FUCK
You: OH FUCK
You: .
Stranger: You brought condoms and whipped cream.
You: IM DYING:
You: THIS UH
You: ITS NO EXCUSE I KNOW
Stranger: You also discussed anally raping a cat.
You: BUT I AM
You: LOOk
You: THE CAT WAS BEGGING FOR IT
Stranger: ARE YOU AN ANIMAL PSYCHIC?
Stranger: I didn't think so.
You: PART TIME
You: LOOK
You: MAYBE WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT
Stranger: We have the chat logs.
Stranger: SHE'S THIRTEEN.
You: HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING OUT?
Stranger: She told you.
You: YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT
Stranger: Stop trying to flirt with me, sir.
You: YOU HAVE A LOVELY SMILE YOU KNOW
You: IS THAT
You: WHAT UH
Stranger: This isn't helping you at all.
You: WHAT MOUTH WASH DO YOU USE
Stranger: Have a seat over there.
Stranger: Here, take this towel.
You: I UH OKAY
Stranger: Wrap it around you.
You: DO UH
Stranger: I don't want to see that part.
You: DO YOU WANT ME TO COME ON IT?
Stranger: No.
You: OK THAT WAS MISLEADING
You: THIS IS ENTRAPMENT
You: I AM A LAWYER YOU KNOW
You: IN BRAZIL
Stranger: In the chat logs, you discussed how you drive school busses.
You: EU SOM UN ADBOGADO
Stranger: I don't think you're a lawyer.
You: I AM
Stranger: Stop speaking Spanish, sir.
You: IN BRAZIL.
You: THAT'S PORTUGUESE
Stranger: I'm afraid you divided by zero one too many times.
You: LOOK
You: I HAVE CANDY.
Stranger: Was that part of the plan?
You: THATS NOT THE POINT
Stranger: To lure this THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL
Stranger: and her SEVEN YEAR OLD BROTHER
Stranger: to the bedroom
You: THIS CANDY COULD BE YOURS IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT
Stranger: and ANALLY RAPE THEM?
You: IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Stranger: I DO NOT WANT THE CANDY, SIR.
You: FINE
Stranger: KEEP THE TOWEL WRAPPED AROUND YOU, SIR
Stranger: I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU
You: OH COME ON
You: YOU'RE EATING ME WITH YOUR EYES
Stranger: YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY TYPE
Stranger: OH SHI-
You: IS IT BECAUSE IM JEWISH?
Stranger: NO
You: ANTI SEMITE
Stranger: IT'S BECAUSE YOUR PENIS IS TINY
You: ITS TINY BECAUSE A RABBI CHOPPED IT
You: YOU IDIOT
Stranger: I COULD BREAK IT WITH MY PINKY
You: LOOK THAT KINDA TALK IS MAKING IT REALLY HARD FOR ME TO UH
You: KEEP IT IN THE TOWEL
Stranger: ………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
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You: hawt
Stranger: I know right?
Stranger: Pedobear smiles upon your actions, son
You: YAY
Stranger: I think it's time for you to go now, and meet with the policemen outside
Stranger: keep the towel wrapped around you
You: COME ON
You: YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
Stranger: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
Stranger: NO
You: MEET ME IN THE BACK IN FIVE
Stranger: DON'T
You:
Stranger: DON'T RAPE ME
Stranger: NOOOOOOO
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOO MY ANUSSSSSSSSSSS
You: YESSSSS
You: AHHHHHHHH
Stranger: FUCK I'M BLEEDING
Stranger: SECURITY
You: TAKE MY LOVE NECTAR
Stranger: SECURITY
You: TAKE IT ALL
Stranger: Holy shit, you win
You: MEOWW
Stranger: /b/ or topicless
You: WHAT
You: i mean, what?
Stranger: in the butt?
You: OH
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: hey!
You: I'm maury!
Stranger: hi
You: What's your name?
Stranger: im tom
You: wow that is a cool name tom
Stranger: same
You: hey tom can I tell you about something really cool?
Stranger: sure
You: there is someone who loves you a lot tom
You: his name is Jesus
You: do you know about Jesus tom?
Stranger: yes
You: because Jesus knows about YOU!
You: oh.
Stranger: i'm christian
You: well would you like to know more about Jesus tom?
You: Oh good!
You have disconnected.

You: hey what's up?
Stranger: hi
You: what's your name?
Stranger: my name is emma
Stranger: whats yours?
You: I'm Bruce
You: Hi emma!
Stranger: hello ^_^
You: What's up emma?
Stranger: nothing much just on this thing
You: I'm just chillin on my manor
Stranger: a guy just asked me to have cyber sex
Stranger: ugh...
You: LOL!
Stranger: people are such creepers
You: there's all sorts of people here
Stranger: oh i know
You: that's both the joy and the bad side of this thing
You: hold on Al just brought me a sandwich
Stranger: yeah, i guess so
Stranger: okay
You: I just woke up
You: sorry!
You: haven't eaten anything today
Stranger: oh its okay
Stranger: but why cant anyone be normal on this thing bruce?
You: I think some of us are normal
You: Listen, emma
Stranger: oh are you normal?
You: I was gonna stay for a while before doing my rounds
You: but I see the Bat signal is on
You: so I have to go
You:
Stranger: wait bruce....
You: I'll go catch the joker or something and come back later
Stranger: do you want to uhh....
You: ok?
Stranger: do you want to have some cyber sex before you go?

You: hi1
You: i said hi
Stranger: no u said hi1
Stranger: retard
You: yeah
You: but in saying so i said hi
You: so my statement was correct
Stranger: no u said hi1
Stranger: it was not precise.
You: yeah
You: but in saying so i said hi
You: so my statement was correct
Stranger: its not precise
Stranger: EOD U FAT CUNT
You: maybe not
You: but it was correct
You: that's enough for me, edward.
You: I can live with it.
Stranger: hokay
You: glad we agree
You: let's move on shall we?
You: second order of business:
You: you are a cunt.

Stranger: Jesus?
You: yes?
You: who is it?
Stranger: is it really you?
You: what do you want?
You: yeah
Stranger: its me
You: what do you want?
You: who?
You: look im busy
Stranger: dont you know everything?
Stranger: dont you already know what I want?
You: ugh no
You: that's racist
Stranger: you are everywhere and nowhere
You: just because im jesus i have to know everything?
Stranger: you are was and will be
You: no, that's my dad
You: look no
You: that's
You: ugh
You: that's ignorant
Stranger: you dad and holy spirit are all in one
You: and offensive
Stranger: what the fuck, I've been LIED TO
Stranger: fuck you
You: no edward.
You: you've just missunderstood what they tell you
Stranger: AAAAAAAAH dont call me that!
You: they were perfectly clear
You: look, edward
You: is there anything you want?
You: i'm busy
Stranger: I want to know ...
You: there are about 134 million people trying to talk to me right now
You: so spit it out ok?
Stranger: I'm not sure how to ask
You: just do it
You: for fuck's sake
You: look i can't be here all day
You: if you don't say it I'll go away
Stranger: what have you got to do you are dead anyways
Stranger: I want to know if you like pandas
You: look
You: dead people are people too
You: pandas?
Stranger: yes pandas
You: what the fuck is a panda?
Stranger: a fucking black bear with white spots
Stranger: or a fucking white bear with black spots
Stranger: jesus fucking christ
You: what? it's a sex act with a bear?
You: LOOK!
You: that's not my name!
Stranger: oops that slipepd sorry
Stranger: !
You: my middle name is horatio!
You: not fucking!
You: anyways
Stranger:
You: to answer your question
Stranger: ok, I really want to know why I have a small penis
You: no, I do not like to fuck bears
You: white or otherwise
You: you have a small penis because you fuck bears
Stranger: I dont fuck bears
You: have you given oral sex to a bear?
You: there you go
Stranger: that was a "breaking the ice" question
You: what?
Stranger: you mean I should?
You: well yeah
Stranger: ho wmany times do I get to talk to god?
You: once
Stranger: you m ean I can just walk in and ask "why do I haev a small penis?"
You: then you're fucked
Stranger: are you insane

You: no, I'm dead
Stranger: touche
You: look is there anything else?
Stranger: so back to the penis
You: ok...
Stranger: I WANT A BLACK COCK GOD DAMN IT
You: ah what the hell
Stranger: actually, make it a horse cock
You: too late
Stranger: snap
You: I already gave you a black cock
Stranger: AH!
You: check your ass
Stranger: it is you!
You: LOL!
You: OMG
Stranger: LOL damn!
Stranger: HAHAHAH
You: LOL!
Stranger: HAHAHAH
You: no really.
Stranger: damn dude I want expecting that
You: check your ass.
Stranger: lol wtf
Stranger: hHAHAHAHAHAH
You: go ahead.
You: you won't be laughing so hard.

(Note: I'm "You")

Stranger: hello
You: paul?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: how did you know
You: this is megan, are you the paul I was talking to?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i mean yes
You: oh ok sorry
You: what?
Stranger: megan
Stranger: is that you
You: are you serious?
Stranger: are you?
You: paul is that you?
Stranger: yes megan my long lost love
Stranger: it is me
You: what happened??
Stranger: paul
You: why did you disconnect??
Stranger: my router messed up
Stranger: i had to reset it
You: oh my god hahahaha
You: i was so worried!
Stranger: its ok im back
You: i've been looking for like 10 minutes
Stranger: this was like my 3rd try
You: i swear I was about to call the cops
You: wow!
You: hahahaha
You: oh god
You:
Stranger:
You: so what happened??
You: was it just a cat?
Stranger: i won
Stranger: yeah
You: thats a relief
You: you closed anyway right?
Stranger: youre telling me
You: did you?
Stranger: yeah
You: good
You: i was really worried about you
You: but i didn't wanna call the number at this hour
Stranger: thank you
You: if you didnt pick up i swear
You: i was gonna call the cops
Stranger: wait
Stranger: did you say paul
Stranger: my name is sau
You: i dont even know where you live
Stranger: saul
You: haha
You: so when can we talk?
Stranger: NOW
You: really??
Stranger: sure
You: ok I'll call
You: :))))))
Stranger: otay
Stranger: your voice is as beautiful as the heavens themselves
You: pick up
You: what?
Stranger: i mean
You: lol pick up already
Stranger: sorry im on the phone with mallory
You: who's mallory?
Stranger: my ex
You: at this hour??
Stranger: uh
Stranger: yeah
You: didn't you say your ex was stephanie or something?
You: should I bother calling again or not?
Stranger: i dont just have one ex
You: you said you did....
Stranger: maybe tommorow its kinda late
You: oh ok
You: not too late for mallory i guess
Stranger: never too late for mallory
You: are you ashamed to pick up?
Stranger: FAIL
You: I swear I'll make it worth it
You: look
You: just pick up so I stop worrying
Stranger: oooh i love phone sex
You: cause part of me still doesn't believe you're you
Stranger: how did you find out about this site?
You: i don't know, someone told me
You: paul
You: are you you?
Stranger: i am me
Stranger: Saul
You: ok then I'll call again
You: and you'll pick up the phone
You: ok?
Stranger: but
Stranger: but
You: ok?
Stranger: mallory...
Stranger: she has huge knockers
You: you're not talking to mallory and chatting!
You: at the same time!
You: that's crazy
Stranger: YES I AM
You: lol no you're not
Stranger: i totally iz
You: i just want to hear you tell me that you're okay
Stranger: im okay
You: your voice
Stranger: are you on a pc or mac?
You: pc
You: but you know that
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: you just told me
You: then why did you ask?
You: ARE YOU PAUL?
Stranger: i cant haz a question
You: IF YOU'RE NOT PAUL I SHOULD CALL THE COPS
Stranger: I AM SAUL!!!!!!
You: oh god
You: you're not him you evil idiot
You: i should have called them 20 minutes ago you fucking asshole
You: fuck you
You: fuck you
Stranger: Im sorry
Stranger: you should call them
Stranger: sorry
You: FUCK YOU
Stranger: what happened to paul?
You have disconnected.

I lol'd!

You: Hi!
Stranger: let's talk soup
You: I'd rather not.
Stranger: tomato i my favourite
Stranger:
You: I had a bad experience with soup.
Stranger: what happened?
Stranger: quick my soups getting cold
You: My grandmother died while eating soup. I was the one who found her body.
Stranger: i am so sorry
You: She was dead for three days.
Stranger: what soup was she eating
Stranger: i bet it was that damn CHICkcen soup
You: That's not funny.
You: Why do you have to be so insensitive?
Stranger: bah i'm no good with soup-related deaths
You: You're a bad person

Stranger: Hello
You: sup?
Stranger: P/B?
Stranger: Soap?
Stranger: I like soap
You: i love peanutbutter!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hiya
You: you like cowboys?
Stranger: no
You: me neither!
You: FUCK COWBOYS!
Stranger: \o/
You: that is a cheer!
You: I think
Stranger: oh
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: FUCK COWBOYS!
You: YEAHHH!
Stranger: [drinks beer]
You: Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you, I LOVE TYOU!
You: YOU
You: I also love beer
Stranger: OMG *-*
Stranger: i love you too
You: what beer you drinking?
You: WE LOVE EACHOTHER!
You: I has no beer
You: but I has whiskey
Stranger: i do
Stranger: but u wont know it
You: tell me
Stranger: cause its from brazil
You: you the Brazillian again?
Stranger: dunno
You: prolly not
You: they never wrote anything
Stranger: there are lots of brazilians here i think
Stranger: who are you ?
Stranger:
Stranger: i mean
Stranger: ur name
You: Im a brazillian!
You: Uschio
Stranger: :o
You: Uschi
Stranger: \o/
You: there's a famous porn star
You: Uschi Delelliiogfoudno[i
You: I forget her last name
You: that is not me
Stranger: humm
You: but I am Uschi
You: she has huge boobs
Stranger: huuh
You: I also have huge boobs
Stranger: nice
Stranger: i dont
You: you must be jealous
You: of mah melons
Stranger: i think that is cause im a male
You: that's a good reson for no boobies
Stranger: but im not sure
Stranger: x)
You: :D
You: I also have a large penis
You: and a small one
Stranger: =D
Stranger: =O
Stranger: 2 penis ?
You: the big one is in my butt
You: and one left nut
You: it gets bloody when I'm on the rag
You: how many penis YOU have?
Stranger: humm
Stranger: i have only one
You: I think that is the appropriate number
Stranger: probably
Stranger: well, i think so
You: but I like two
You: or three
You: if the mood is right
Stranger: humm
You: yeah, I give hummers
You: you too then?
You: hard to breathe tho
Stranger: dont know hummers
Stranger: mean, dont know the meaning
You: I like blowing smaller dick
You: is fellatio
Stranger: why that ?
You: it is easier to get the whole thing in
You: a big one I gag too much
You: need a small one, 6 or 7 inch max!
You: LOL!
Stranger: aw, but the fun thing is beeing hard
Stranger:
You: you get hard for bees?
You: wot?
You: do they sting you on the peenor?
Stranger: nah,
You: or did you mean Peeing hard?
Stranger: i dont like bees
You: my vagina houses bees
Stranger: Noo..
Stranger: =O
You: if you no like them
You: do not put your penis in there
You: a good suggestion
Stranger: i put some repelent
You: I like how they tickle
Stranger: =O
You: they tickle my vajayjay
Stranger: may hurt
You: no, I has good bees
Stranger: Humm
Stranger: ah
Stranger: so ok
You: they tickle my butthole too!
Stranger: i dont mind
You: you can give tem bee kisses!
Stranger: for sure
You: on my vag
You: kisses to the bees
You: so they do not feel alone
Stranger: do they like honey ?
You: and get sad
You: they love honey!
You: they is bees!
Stranger: yeah
You: they also like bacon
Stranger: i love honey too
Stranger: humm
You: hmmmm!
You: that wut bees say!
You: no wait
You: that BUZZ
Stranger: honey+bacon+vagina = delicious
You: YUSSS!
You: I knew I loved you
Stranger: + bees
Stranger: i forgot
Stranger: sorry
You: PLUSBEES!
You: yes
You: bees make it magical
Stranger: yes
You: put a bee on your vagina
You: I promis you like
Stranger: i dont have a vagina
You: NO?!
Stranger: can i put one at yours ?
You: ONE peeniz and NO VAGINA!
You: yus
You: you can tickle my vag wit bees!
Stranger: im sure id love to
You: ME TOO!
You: be careful of the testicle tjho
You: it is very sensitive
Stranger: bees dont like testicle ?
You: no they sting!
Stranger: =O
You: OMGUS!
Stranger: even if i put honey on it ?
You: yes
You: they smell boy parts
You: and they get jealous
Stranger: =(
You: they do not have testical big like mine!
You: but they love the girl bits
You: they pussywhipped
You: queen bees and all that
You: they fear the scrot
Stranger: soo, if i get my penis in a girls vagina they would sting me ?
Stranger:
You: that why I say keep peen out!
You: I has bees there!
You: not all girls has bees
You: some has crabs
Stranger: but, but
You: butt is an option
Stranger: yes
You: I can poo furst
Stranger: but dunno
You: and warsh it out
You: so it clean
Stranger: isnt it better for u in vajayjya ?
You: I dunno
Stranger: beside the bees ?
You: clit most important
You: plus I regularly orgasm taking a poo
You: so...
You: I like to poo
Stranger: humm
Stranger: :D
You: make me grunt like pig-dog!
You: sometimes drool
Stranger: no, thats nice
You: so I poo furst
Stranger: i like to see girls pooing
You: get there furst
You: oh,. you wanna watch?
Stranger: if u let me
Stranger:
You: you like seeing the thick
You: browm
Stranger: submarine
You: log stickin out her ass?
You: an her butt clenching it?
Stranger: id prefer to see the thick
You: like a gaping feesh?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: really nice
Stranger: i get hard with it
You: I poot mah hand in my undies jus then
Stranger: humm
You: an clench mah fingers in mah butt
You: they smells like poop
Stranger: hummm
Stranger: delicious
You: LOL
You: 1stranger 1cup!
Stranger: lick it
Stranger: lol
You: dude no
Stranger: XD
You: poo is nasty
Stranger: kidding
Stranger: nah
You: of course
You: perv!
You: :D
Stranger: dont remember me of 1 guy 1 cup
You: HA HA HA!
You: yeah I saw that!
Stranger: disgusting
You: broke the glass in his ass!
Stranger: yes
You: pourin blood
Stranger: ah
Stranger: stop it
Stranger: dont remember me
You: you get to hospital okay/
You: ?
Stranger: k
Stranger: lol
You: I was worried
Stranger: my brother sent me the link
You: so, wut ur name?
Stranger: dammit
You: really?
You: that a nice name
Stranger: Raul, yours ?
You: Uschi
You: f'real
Stranger: oh yes
Stranger:
You: is at efuked dot com
You: they has a LOT of effed up pron
You: Raw-oohl
Stranger: Ohh
Stranger: nice
You: or do it rhyme wif Paul
Stranger: noo
You: yus, good LOL pron
You: rah-uh-L
You: ra-wool
Stranger: its sounds more like someone throwing up
Stranger: RAULRSHRSHRH
You: BLOORRRGH!
You: yeah, I actually know a guy with that name
You: I jus playin
Stranger: =))
You: he some catholic my mum knows from church or some shit
Stranger: aw
Stranger: thats not me for sure
You: you has religion?
Stranger: well..
You: yus, me neither!
Stranger: no
You: raised roman catholic
You: and jewish
You: you?
Stranger: raised catholic
Stranger: but when i got conscience
You: MAWWAIGE!
Stranger: leaved it
You: HAH!
You: yar
Stranger: conscience is right ?
You: yep
Stranger: dunno :\
Stranger: aw.. ok
You: unless you meant drivers liscence
Stranger: lol
You: har har haer
You: you ever read that Wizard Hat and Robe guy?
You: onna innernet sexchats?
Stranger: nope :\
You: NO?!
You: oh god.
Stranger: no
Stranger: what about them ?
Stranger: tell me
You: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja
You: this guy is my hero
You: read later
You: takes a while
You: but you will ROTFLOL
Stranger: ejaowejae
Stranger: ok
You: that
You: was not a pallendrome
You: but I thought it was at first glance
You: racecar
Stranger: Humm
Stranger: lol
Stranger: sexchats in brazil
You: go hang a salami I'm a lasagane hog!
You: SEXORS!
Stranger: most of the girls are gay guys
You: really?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: sad thing
You: I'm a queer girl
You: so
You: *shrug*
You: whomever can get it up
You: OH!
You: hey
Stranger: hi
Stranger: how are you ?
Stranger: lol
You: what the hell does P/B mean
You: ?
Stranger: p/b ? in portuguese ?
You: someone on this thing wrote that?
You: and I said I like peanutbutter!
You: and they logged off
Stranger: p/b in portuguese is like B&W i think oO
You: wait, what portugese>?
You: no they like
You: hi
You: P/B
You: i like soap
You: and I was all WUT?
Stranger: oO
You: okay
Stranger: oh well
You: so you dunno neither
Stranger: i dont know
Stranger: yeah
You: crazy ass bastards
You: mussin wif mah innernettes
Stranger: yeah...
You: FUCK COWBOYS!
Stranger: lol
You: random is random
Stranger: i just started reading blood ninja
You: innit great?!
Stranger: yeah
You: okay
Stranger: lmao
You: I need dinner
You: sos I'm about to peace out
You: BUT
You: you seem pretty cool
You: if you wanna hang out
You: http://www.rkmbs.com
You: I'm still Uschi
You: fun place
Stranger: ok..
You: unless you're one of the guys from there
Stranger: cya later :}
You: then I feel like a retard
You: BYE!
Stranger: lol

I linked a bunch of people here last night but they never showed up.

Stranger: hi!
You: HIYA!
You: i know karate
Stranger: what's the silliest thing you've heard on this site?
You: P/B
You: i don't understand it
You: plus
You: this is the third conversation I ever had
You: WOT ABOOT YOU?!?!?!
Stranger: i hope you've been lucky enough to have an actual cnversation
You: yes
You: one
You: or...
You: were you answerign
You: answering
Stranger: lol someone pretended to be working for the site and said that i was banned lol
You: oh
You: yeah, um
You: you're banned
Stranger: lol
You: IN THE ASS!
Stranger: oh shit!
You: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
Stranger: lmao
You: so...
Stranger: how'd you learn about this site?
You: you know what P/B is?
You: um
Stranger: no
You: some dilweed linked it
Stranger: sry
Stranger: lol kk
You: and it is fun
Stranger: ya
You: you're a girl aintcha
Stranger: maybe
You: you type like a girl
You: it is okay
You: I am also a girl
Stranger: lol cool
You: what is the strangest thing you ever got on here?
You: oh wait
You: you said banned
You: damn
You: um
You: ...
You: I made cookies
Stranger: YAY!
Stranger: what kind?
You: ginger
You: like soft ginger snaps
You: they is liek CRACK
You: I mail them to my friends
Stranger: I liek cookies!!!
You: so they don't hate me
You: cookies is awesome
You: one of my friends
You: I sent her 3 dozen
You: and she did not share even ONE
You: not with her SISTER
You: they are that good
Stranger: she must realllllly like you now!
Stranger: lol
You: Yeah I hope so!
Stranger: I can has recipe???
You: I'm trying to convince her to be a dyke for me.
You: it would be hard to type out here
Stranger: kk
You: it is ginger snaps
You: but with twice the crisco
Stranger: Ohhhh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

SHE JUST WANTED MY GODDAMN COOKIE RECIPE!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: B9
You: YOU SUNK MAH BATTLESHIP!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: hi
You: LOL THATS WHAT SHE SAID!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Long one, so...

Still talking to this guy:

You: hello
Stranger: hi
Stranger: which your country?
You: hello
Stranger: hello
You: i am maury
Stranger: which your country, Japan?
You: no, maury
You: are you japan
Stranger: no
Stranger: I'm from Brazil
You: hi brazil
You: im maury
Stranger: Seu país é grande?
Stranger: Your country is great?
You: yes im great
You: 20 centimeters
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: like football?
You: no smaller than ball
You: not round also
Stranger: sorry the question but q continent is your country?
You: i dont understand continent
You: is like holding water?
Stranger: like rock'n'roll?
You: yes jerry lee lewis
You: buddy hollis
You: elvis pralsey
You: and you?
Stranger: I like Iron Maiden, Oasis, Black Sabbath!
You: i like sabbath, do nothing all day
You: party on wayne
Stranger: is very good
You: what else do you
You: what else you do
Stranger: know something about Brazil?
You: you are brazil
You: like iron maidem oasis sabbath
Stranger: I am a university student, I want to train in psychology!
Stranger: yes
You: very good!
You: I train in gymnasium
Stranger: and you, what is?
You: im maury
You:
Stranger: my English is horrible
You: im pretty
You: i want to run cars
You: cars many doors of speed
You: do you like?
Stranger: what your political view?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: cars
You: like in presidents?
Stranger: what is your car?
You: my father
Stranger: yes
You: red beetl volkswagon
You: very good
You: very fast
Stranger: =O
You: i like negro president
You: osama
Stranger: I have my car yet
You: what is?
Stranger: hahaha
You: what is your car?
Stranger: I would buy a Honda Civic
You: very cool
Stranger: most will take some time
Stranger: here in Brazil are high taxes
You: yes they move fast
You: i am tall too
You: 2 meters
You: i believe in odin and sun jesus, you?
Stranger: Jesus Christ?
You: yes too
Stranger: yes I believe, I'm Catholic
You: im maury
You: one time i eat tree
You: very cool
Stranger: you eat trees?
You: from tree
Stranger: sorry
You: it comes down cut it pieces and eat
You: make chair
You: many things
Stranger: in their country, says a lot about global warming?
You: we invented
You: many things too
You: spectacles
You: for eyes
Stranger: I do not believe it
You: why not
You: you can buy in store very good
You: very strong good for digestion
You: dont think?
Stranger: you understand me wrong!
You: why?
Stranger: I do not believe in global warming!
You: i know some brazil
You: eu som un advogado
Stranger: fala português?
You: only that
Stranger: speak Portuguese?
You: its brazil like you
You:
Stranger: =O
Stranger: você tá entendendo o que to escrevendo agora?
You: i like salsa and kill bulls with sword
Stranger: haha
You: do you some times?
You: do you go?
You: i like dance and fly in the sky
Stranger: do what?
You: go with bull?
Stranger: I like to dance, but never flew
You:
Stranger: with bull, never tried
Stranger: What is your age?
You: i see on tv
You: im 18
You: i can see those bull no problem
You: little kids not
Stranger: I also have 18 years
You: very good
You: slap hands
Stranger: you like any sports?
You: beside kill bulls
You: like small people fighting very much
You: and baseball
Stranger: never understood how to play baseball right
You: dont know to play either
You: but very cool to watch
You: very sport
Stranger: twists to some team? in baseball!
You: yes
You: twists very cool
You: swing too
You: charleston
You: all things
You: dance like maniac
Stranger: here in Brazil, the most familiar Football, Voleyboll and Handboll
You: football with all the family yes
You: it make nice team
You: defeat all the others
Stranger: the time there where you live?
You: april and you?
Stranger: no
Stranger: I mean the time
You: what you mean?
You: its very cold sometimes
Stranger: here is 01:42 in the morning
You: sometimes not
You: oh I see
You: it's 12:24
You: is always maury time here
You: ;o

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyaa
You: hi
You: Have you ever fucked a cat?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Obviously, that wasn't Beardguy.

Bruce Springsteen
The Wrestler

Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free?
If you've ever seen a one trick pony then you've seen me
Have you ever seen a one-legged dog making its way down the street?
If you've ever seen a one-legged dog then you've seen me

Then you've seen me, I come and stand at every door
Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before
Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor
Tell me, fan, can you ask for anything more?
Tell me can you ask for anything more?

Have you ever seen a scarecrow filled with nothing but dust and wheat?
If you've ever seen that scarecrow then you've seen me
Have you ever seen a one-armed man punching at nothing but the breeze?
If you've ever seen a one-armed man then you've seen me

Then you've seen me, I come and stand at every door
Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before
Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor
Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?
Tell me can you ask for anything more?

These things that have comforted me, I drive away
This place that is my home I cannot pay
My only faith's in the broken bones and bruises I display

Have you ever seen a one-legged man trying to dance his way free?
If you've ever seen a one-legged man then you've seen me

frank has the strangest chats.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello.
You: Hold on... taking a shit.
Stranger: oh alright ill wait.
Stranger: eh while your busy ill clean up the cum.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[4 minutes]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hold on, taking a shit.
You: Could you get me a spoon?
Stranger: for what
You: it's stuck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[90 sec]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: jack?
You: Hold on... taking a shit.
Stranger: oh...jack that's tmi
You: Could you get me a spoon?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[90 sec]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hold on! I'm almost there...
You: do you have a book?
Stranger: sure
You: good
You: can I borrow it?
Stranger: how?
You: via the interwebs
Stranger: nah
You: you're a right bastard, Jeannine!
You: I try
You: I try so hard ...
You: but the land lady
You: she... she looks at me, you know?
You: I'm a horrible father
You: and I have to stand there!
You: and ...and
You: and nobody LAUGHS
Stranger: freak
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: hello, clarise
You: I can smell your cunt
Stranger: I'm dont speak english !
Stranger: =p
You: I will raep you with an chainsaw!
Stranger: _l_
Bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: do you listen to Huey lewis and the News?
Stranger: no
You: they're a great new band!
You: they really have these edgy lyrics, you know?
You: not just for yuppies
Stranger: maybe i'll check them out.
You: really challenge the established order
You: what's your name?
Stranger: dee. yours?
You: Patrick
Stranger: age?
You: 32
Stranger: 18 here.
You: I got new business cards today/
You: would you like to see them?
You: How about coming to my place later.
Stranger: hahaha right. i'll be right there.
You: We can listen to some Huey Lewis
Stranger: definitely.
Stranger: wait up for me.
You: I have a new sound system
You: I'm a very successful businessman
You: Tell me, do you take care of yourself?
You: Your skin?
Stranger: of course.
You: I make sure my skin is well cared for.
Stranger: that's always good.
You: Do you ever get the urge to just rip someone's intestines out?
Stranger: nope.
You: And watch them slowly die?
Stranger: nahhh, not into that.
You: I think I would like to try some fun things with you.
Stranger: things like that?
You: You can come over
You: I can pop in a CD
You: on my new sound system
You: we can see what happens
You: I have seven mirrors in my bedroom.
You: I can show you them.
Stranger: nice.
You: I have money.
Stranger: i need money.
You: You are a whore, right?
You: You dress like a whore.
Stranger: hahahahaha.
You: Seriously.
You: $200 now
Stranger: where are you?
You: Patrick Bateman
Stranger: you are full of shit
You: I'm a business executive
You: $500 if you can get me off
Stranger: where? pluto?
You: No
You: I can get reservations at Dorcia
You: at the drop of a FUCKING hat!
You: Who the FUCK ARE YOU?!
Stranger: stop being a creeper, this isn't a movie.
You: You can't insult me like that!
You: I'M PATRICK FUCKING BATEMAN!
Stranger: ontd?
You: look
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi I'm David
You: hi
You: hello Dave
Stranger: DAVID
You: I can't say that, Dave
You: I'm Hal
Stranger: Why don't you take a seat right here then.
Stranger: Here, have some cookies.
You: I do not have the proper functioning mobility for that, Dave.
Stranger: http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1238902732318.jpg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: oi
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: I'm Mister Transex
You: no, that's Superman
You: he's about 60 miles north
Stranger: Vc dar a bunda para Ingleses
You: Como esta?
Stranger: Comendo seu rabo todo dia
You: Que pasa, Calavasa?
You: Yo Batman.
Stranger: I'm Transex
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: I'm the flash is the líder of the Justice League
You: Have you seen Joker?
You: He stole my lunch money.
Stranger: yes, pequenininha mas tenho
You: I see.
You: I will visit the Penguin then.
You: and rape them to justice.
You: anally.
Stranger: e eu como seu rabo até amanhecer
You: No, I'm not jewish.
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: Vai dar tua bunda rapá
Stranger: Vai durmir
You: I rape all the criminals in Gotham.
Stranger: éééééé
You: They are a cowardly and superstitious lot.
You: I am a creature of the night.
Stranger: Yes
You: I strike fear in the hearts of evil men!
You: and anuses!
You: I
You: AM
You: BAT-MAN!
Stranger: OK, OK OK OK OK OK
YOu ser o Batman que da a bunda e chupa rola
You: Goats?
You: no
You: that's Marvel
Stranger: ok
You: and donkeys
Stranger: Marvel >>> chupa vara
You: si
Stranger: Si >>. Stranger ys bixa
You: speak english, Friend.
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: speak >>> chupa cú melado de merda
You: Can you say baby-eating-snake-rapist?
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: vc é o maior Kiter do Dota !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

...what's woth all the fucking Brazilians?!

YOu ser o Batman que da a bunda e chupa rola
You be the Batman what from the ass & honeysuckle rolled

chupa vera
honeysuckle rod

chupa cú melado de merda
honeysuckle asshole molasses of crap


LOL!

Aweshome.

You: http://www.rkmbs.com
Stranger: heads or tails
You: tails
You: http://www.rkmbs.com
You: yeah?
You: http://www.rkmbs.com
You: Don't read the blog at the top
You: You might catch "it"

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello stranger, I'm a horny gay men seeking for a buddy , wanna continue to chat with me?
You: I'm Batman.
Stranger: I'm Robin
You: hold on...
Stranger: sure
You: Batman is taking a shit.
Stranger: on me ?
You: Robin, old chum... can you get me a spoon?
Stranger: I love scato
You: or a pencil?
You: I'm trying to work something out.
Stranger: anything in my butt sir
You: oh, did Al arrive?
Stranger: Al who?
You: Alfred
You: goar, the help!
You: What are you stupid?
You: You retarded or something?!
You: I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN!
Stranger: fucking yeah
You: Joker is on the loose again, chum!
Stranger: have a bat suit ?
You: Robin, are you on the marijuana?
You: Batman is always prepared.
You: Now!
You: TO THE BAT MOBILE!
You: We must stop the Joker before he commits another heinous crime!
You: Like when he kidnapped the commissioner!
Stranger: I just want to suck a cock, BatDick
You: and paralyzed his daughter by raping her!
You: 'CAUSE HE DID!
You: Cock... bird... PENGUIN!
You: You"RE RIGHT!!!
You: HE must be in on this scheme too!
You: Good job, old Chum!
Stranger: he is dead
You: Oswald?
You: or Joker?
You: Joker killed the second Robin, old Chum
You: he is not a joke
You: you must realize the severity of his madness
You: respect it, if not the man himself.
Stranger: omfg the joker is dead!
You: We should stop by Gotham central first.
You: You might think so, Chum.
You: But the Joker has "died" many times
You: only to resurface later.
You: He is more resiliant than you might expect from such a frail man.
Stranger: i suck cocks bu you are insane, bye
You: Do not leave me, Friend!
You: I need you at my back!
You: Behind me.
You: Something to lean on
You: take comfort from...
Stranger: i'm not friend, i'm stranger
You: please Robin!
You: MY PARENTS ARE DEEAAAAD!
Stranger: you shoot them ?
You: I know I've been a poor father to you, old chum!
You: but to say we are strangers?
You: You made the Bat-Man cry a little.
You: Inside.
Stranger: I sucked my father cock
You: Please, Robin!
You: I thought we decided Penguin was not involved!
You: Joker is far too mad to deal with anyone on a real basis!
You: And nobody is mad enough to deal with his vitrol!
You: We must go to Gotham central.
You: Perhaps Gordon has some news for us!
You: have Alfred check the tire pressure.
Stranger: goodbye, unless you have some credit
You: I'm Batman.
You: ...perhaps you are right, Robin.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hi
You: Have you ever had sex with a box of cleenex?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Rich Boy sellin' crack
Fuck niggas wanna jack
Shit tight no slack
Just bought a Cadillac (THROW SOME D'S ON THAT BITCH!)
Just bought a Cadillac
You: Sorry, I don't speak jive
Stranger: come on
Stranger: broseph
Stranger: don't be a square
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: knock knock, Neo
Stranger: Hello. o_o Neo?
You: You are about to enter the real world
You: your eyes will hurt
You: because it will be the first time you use them.
Stranger: what?
You: The choice is yours
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: lets have sex
You: do you take the red pill?
You: or the blue?
Stranger: green
You: That is not an option, Neo.
Stranger: I make it in my basement
You: The red pill will take you further down the rabbit hole.
You: Take the blue pill
You: and you wake up tomorrow
You: and this has all been a dream
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: do you support Prop 17?
Stranger: Is that the gay marriage prop?
You: no
Stranger: Oh,
Stranger: what is it?
You: Prop B is what you thinking of
You: Proposition 17
Stranger: Ah
You: is about date rape
You: are you for it or against it/
You: ?
Stranger: For date rape?
You: It scares me that you aren't up on this information
Stranger: Sorry
You: this is a big issue
You: there is a lot of opposition to Prop17
You: and that scares me
You: what would happen if date rape was revoked?
You: IT IS MY AMERICAN RIGHT!!!
Stranger: Lets hope not.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hi
You: Hi
Stranger: I want to have your children
You: Its gonna be hard pushing that kid through my weiner
Stranger: ... w-... we could try
You: I heard you're pretty good at sucking cock.
You: You could suck the kid out.
Stranger: i have my moments
Stranger: only if i use deodorant as lube
Stranger: by
Stranger: buy
Stranger: bye
You: No, you hang up first
Stranger: NO U
You: I love you
You: See me naked
You: http://www.rkmbs.com
You: This is like a bad staring contest.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: ch0d3zilla
Stranger: aol instant messenger: ch0d3zilla
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I haven't tried it yet

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: ahoy, cap'n!
You: got th scurvy, eh?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: you?
You: tell ya wot
You: ayve got me a noice peach on the nex port
Stranger: coo
Stranger: l
Stranger: where is that?
You: awl shair wif you fo 'eventeen frank, aye?
Stranger: sure
Stranger: sounds fair
You: attl take car o th scurv!
Stranger: alright
You: Avast, Cap'n!
Stranger: are you on acid?
You: issit thar mehr Poirate awf stahbard?
Stranger: yes
You: wot sexz you?
You: ahdar me maytes, Cap'n!
Stranger: male
Stranger: you?
You: WOT SEZ YOU!
Stranger: oh
Stranger: uhh
Stranger: yes
You: oi needs som derekshion!
You: wot to tewl me maites!
You: eff thar be poirate off stahbard!
Stranger: okay
Stranger: you too
You: BLIMEY!
Stranger: yeah
You: COR, me Cap'n been gon blarmy!
You: yeh DO haf th scurvy, aintcha?!
You: ay dooble-toime mates!
Stranger: yes
You: geet this her mahn a shot o th' groipe!
You: BLOODY 'ELL!!
You: thoi bin shot us, sur!
You: wez oonder attakk!
You: th blinkin PIRATES, mate!
Stranger: okay
You: gib me som ordahrs!
You: sez we kin foit!
You: Dude, you fucking SUCK at playing along.
You: Can you type more than one syllable?
You: Christ almighty, you're getting on my tits.
You: Do I have to carry the ENTIRE conversation?
You: you blimey cunt.
Stranger: uhh
You: FUCK OFF!
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: neg cals.. PA?
You: WHAT THE FUCK IS PA?!?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello, Dave.
You: What are you doing, Dave?
Stranger: Hello, James.
You: I can't let you do that, Dave.
You: My name is HAL, Dave.
You: Daisy
You: Daisy
You: give me your answer do
Stranger: cause the heart never lies
Stranger: ):
You: I'm half crazy
You: all for my love of you
Stranger: little joanna?
You: we something-something marriage
You: I can't afford a carriage
Stranger: hey im lookin up for my star boy
You: but won't it be sweet
You: with you on the seat
You: of my bicycle built for two!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Greetings.
Stranger: hello
You: what is your primary function?
Stranger: doing your mom
You: input = joke
You: result = laughter
Stranger: eeeeeeexactly
You: comraddery established
You: I believe your earth-term is "LOL"
You: ASL?
Stranger: you sound unbelievably familiar
You: Improbable.
Stranger: sorry, i dont speak german
You: I am Xeron.
Stranger: hmm
You: From Omega Six.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: isnt that a vitamin you get from eating fish?
You: I was unaware that I was communicating in this "German" you reference.
You: Another joke has been extended.
Stranger: you should do some research then
You: LOL
Stranger: no
Stranger: no, not at all
You: sorry.
You: I am unfamiliar with Earth coloquialisms.
You: Piece of cake!
Stranger: then why the hell are you on the internetz
Stranger: lemming
You: I am a resercher.
Stranger: researcher*
You: I am making a study of this "Earth."
You: My apologies are extended.
Stranger: yeah, we're pretty legit
Stranger: good
You: I hope my mis-spellings do not make you uncomfortable.
You: it is hard to type.
Stranger: is your name lisa
You: I have appendages that are incapable of functioning on this small device.
Stranger: wow you're fucking retarded
You: I do not know this "lisa" you mention.
You: I do not know this "retarded" you mention.
You: But it is interesting that you find me to have an intimate relationship with retarded.
Stranger: kay fuck you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi!
You: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
You: LOLEROUS!
Stranger: what's the fuck?
You: OMGUS
You: did u c teh new movie?
You: !!!OMGLOL!!!1!!!!
You: YOU CAN SEE HIS PENIZ!
Stranger: where are you from?
You: Oryon.
You: It is in Washington
You: where are you?
Stranger: i'm from moscow
You: lolz ;P
Stranger: russia
You: OMGUS!
You: DO YOU HAVE CHEESE-ITS?
Stranger: no)
You: Like, I knew this guy frum russia!
You: he totally took cheeseits backwith him!
You: LOL!!!111!
You: and blue jeans
You: like, i guess russia is, like, third world or something?
Stranger: how old are you?
You: and they had to like get shit from here@!
You: omg 13
You: LOL I WROTE SHIT!!!!
Stranger: i'm 11
You: omg!
You: my mom like TOTALLY harshed my buzz today
You: she walked in when I was, like, kissing ben>?
You: and she was like OMG!
You: and I was all OMG!
Stranger: )
You: and Ben?
You: he was like sooooooooooo embarassed
You: i culd hav DIED!
Stranger: :-)
You: so like, what do ppl DO in russia?
Stranger: OK! BYE!
You: do you, like, wear fur hats and tuff? LOL!
You: i mean, like OMG!
You: those are little animals you brutes!
You: and ur wearing their SKIN!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i'm gonna kill the jonas brothers lol
You: do you want to fuck?
Stranger: fuck what?
You: me
You: right now
Stranger: yeah
You: how old are you?
Stranger: 20 and u?
You: 19
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

for the record, I paused there for about 40 seconds

before writing 19

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey big boy
You: wanna have sum fun?
Stranger: ha um wrong gender there
You: its okay baby
You: i work both sides
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hey, sexy
You: you wanna have sum fun?
Stranger: well who doesnt?
You: hee hee hee!
You: you're witty
You: i like that
Stranger: i do my best!
You: how old are you, sweetie?
Stranger: 22. how old are you?
Stranger: im a girl, how about you?
You: 20
You: i'm also a girl
Stranger: nice
You: but I can be buitch if you want it
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: everything you do is a balloon
You: HELLO
You: DO YOU LIKE NINJA TURTLES?
Stranger: wrong answer!
Stranger: (i do btw)
You: I LIKE TMNT!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: WHAT IS UUUUUUUP
You: do you have crabs?
You: I have crabs.
Stranger: yes.
You: in my eyebrows.
Stranger: that
Stranger: is so sexy
You: I got them at a bachelorette party
You: from the stripper
Stranger: your're a bitch?
You: he was thrusting at my face.
You: and now I have crabs.
You: in my eyebrown
You: s
Stranger: BITCHES AINT SHIT
Stranger: HO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hiya
You: im so weary
Stranger: right?!
You: will you tell me a story?
Stranger: once aupon a time
You: can we skip to the good bit?
Stranger: there was an internet chatting site that allowed you to open up as completely as you wanted to a complete stranger and as soon as you got bored you could skip to the next stranger.... the end
Stranger: or i could go for a dirtier approach
You: There was no good bit
You: yeah
Stranger:
You: you can talk dirty at me
Stranger: m or f?
You: does it matter?
Stranger: i
Stranger: ll
Stranger: know which way to take the story
Stranger:
You: well, I'm game for either
Stranger: hmmmm
Stranger: that means.... gurl?
You: sure!
Stranger: psshhh
Stranger: well 'm a girl and guys are my favorite play things
Stranger:
You: Well that's okay
You: I'm a guy
You: really
Stranger: yay
You: so, um
You: should I start?
Stranger: story time?
You: YES!!!
Stranger: yes please
You: oh
You: um
Stranger: we can even do the 2 word game
You: what are you wearing?
You: 2 word game?
Stranger: that's 4 words
You: I am unfamiliar
Stranger: you say 2 words and then i say two
Stranger: we keep going and it creates a story
You: okay babe
Stranger: like
Stranger: once upon
You: a midnight
Stranger: dream, the
You: biggest penis
Stranger: found his
You: other penis
Stranger: who was
You: a big
Stranger: fat chode
You: dickhead asshole
Stranger: period. --> there also
You: where are
Stranger: the condoms
You: my mouth
You: suck them out
Stranger: likes your
You: pussy lips
Stranger: which LOVE
Stranger: your member
You: more penis
You: this is slow
You: there is little to say in two words
Stranger: and your fingers which trace its soft skin and excite the young girl beyond beleif
You: HURRAH!
You: so you aren't wearing anything!
You: good
You: me neither
Stranger: haaha
Stranger: bra and booty shorts
Stranger: have to leave something to the imagination
You: well, I'm wearing shoes
Stranger: odd
You: and glasses
You: I hope you like nerdy guys
You: but nothing else
Stranger: what's are age diff? that could make it even more exciting...
You: my dick keeps my legs warm
Stranger: i love nerds
Stranger: clark kent is my kinda guy
You: because it is so big
Stranger: screw superman
You: do you like being the little girl
You: or the older woman?
Stranger: mmm a 3rd leg, eh?
You: yes
Stranger: it depends on how old you are
Stranger: my birthday was on thursday which makes me......
You: and my nuts are heavy like a peach
Stranger: i miss the feel of bakks in my mouth
You: that is a strange age!
You: I thought people usually used numbers!
Stranger: you first honey
You: okay sugar pop
You: im 34
Stranger: mmm
Stranger: i had a love affair with a married 36 year old
You: how old are you, punkin pie?
Stranger: nothing physical since he was my teacher but still
Stranger: 19
You: oh a daddy girl!
Stranger: still frsh
Stranger: hahaha
You: sit on uncle nasty's lap, baby!
Stranger: i can't wait to not grow up
Stranger: mmmmkay
Stranger:
You: my little Lolita...
You: describe yourself
Stranger: will you be wearing your glasses and no pants?
You: yes
You: glasses
You: and sneakers
Stranger: dark brown hair
You: how long?
Stranger: quite past my shoulders
You: nice
Stranger: slightly curly
You: and how you keep the carpet?
Stranger: bright but brown eyes
Stranger: trimmed
You: I could eat them up your eyes
You: so pretty
You: I brush your hair from them
Stranger: the underside is smooth and soft
You: MINE TOO!
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: good
Stranger:
You: used to be wrinkled
You: until you sat on it
You: wink wink
Stranger: i like the effect i have on men
Stranger:
You: so does little Uncle nasty
You: or...
Stranger: not so little
You: NOT-SO-LITTLE
You: yes
Stranger: jinx
Stranger: haha
You: you can tell
Stranger: mhm
Stranger: are you alone?
You: oh, don't eat it yet!
You: always
You: my glasses are fogging
Stranger: sorry about that
You: I own my own home
Stranger: but at least i have you all to myself
You: it is okay
You: i don't bring girls here
You: I go to them
Stranger: what kind of glasses?
You: black rimmed
Stranger: mmmm
Stranger: square or round?
You: sort-of square
Stranger: eeeee!
Stranger: good
You: I used to have round
Stranger: i love those
You: oh good!
Stranger: haha
You: look!
Stranger: what kind of chair do i have you in?
You: leather recliner
Stranger: mmmm the bigger the bette
Stranger: r
You: you can sit with me
You: we have room for two
Stranger: we only need room on top
You: if you move the pizza box
Stranger: side to side can wait for later
You: oh, kinky!!
Stranger: i had pizza today too
Stranger:
You: Saturday is a good pizza day
Stranger: mh
Stranger: mmhhmmmm
You: oh
Stranger: any background noise?
You: just some Elvis costello
You: on the record player
Stranger: ooh yeah
Stranger: i adore records
You: i thought you might
You: it plugs into my CPU
Stranger: i have frank sinatra and radiohead and the beatles as well as sooo many others
You: for power
You: nice
Stranger: i just love the sound
You: I have three other record players
You: my hobby is fixing them up
Stranger: i only own the two
Stranger: those and my jukebox
Stranger:
You: do you ever rub on the juke?
You: you could slow-hump it for me
Stranger: it's in the corner of the room but the leather recliner next to it has some dirty memories from me and my ex
You: lets not discuss him
Stranger: i agree
You: lets talk about you
Stranger: let discuss me
Stranger: on you
You: with your long
You: curly
You: brown hair
You: and deep brown eyes
You: looking up at me
Stranger: from where
You: as your naked lips
You: part
You: and exhale softly
You: on my wet clit
You: I MEAN PENIS!
You: FUCK!
Stranger: hahahaha
You: LOL!
Stranger: niiice
You: gotcha there silly!
Stranger: pffff hahahahahhaa
You: hee hee hee!
Stranger: oh you!!!
Stranger: :D
You: oh you!
You: I do fix up record players tho
You: and do have the glasses
You: and shoes
You: and nothing else
Stranger: really? you have shoes?!?!!?
You: YES!
Stranger: hahaah
Stranger: good
You: they help me walk
Stranger: are you still a guy or are we both chicks up inhere
Stranger: haha
You: um...
You: well
You: honestly?
Stranger: shemale?
You: no
You: female
Stranger: dirtygirl
You: panromantic asexual genderqueer
You: I'm just having fun
Stranger: i like fun
You: ME TOO!
You: we should get married!
Stranger: bicuriousness make the world go round
Stranger: totally
You: well
You: less bi-curious
You: more into anyone
You: trans
You: intersexed
You: queer
You: male
You: female
Stranger: except i'm not exactly the marrying type
You: it's okay
You: gay weddings are taboo
Stranger: we'll still play
Stranger: psh
You: we'd get lynched here in TX
Stranger: taboo shmaboo
Stranger: my sister is gay
You: lol!
Stranger: oohhhh
You: my three sisters are married with kids!
Stranger: i live in california in the bay area
Stranger: next year i'm going to school in SF
You: I actually live in CO
You: it's hard to stop lying cold turkey
Stranger: you little big liar, you
Stranger: hahaa
You: yeah
Stranger: that's okay
Stranger: that is what this site is made for
You: I had such a nice character !
Stranger: feel free
You: im 25 btw
Stranger: right?
Stranger: i'm 18
You: oh my!
Stranger: my sis is 30
You: skating on the edge of getting me in trouble!
Stranger: my other sister (stright) is 27
You: Chris Haaaansen
Stranger: hhahahah
You: you naughty little thing!
You: *spanks*
You: with a daddy fetish!
You: hee hee hee!
Stranger: well i'm now officailly legal so it's all good
You: yes
Stranger: my ex is 22
You: not 32?
You: man
Stranger: and we dated just this past summerinto november
You: when you break up?
You: oh
You: I'm sorry
Stranger: like a month ago
Stranger: it's okay
Stranger: he lives in indiana
You: I recently got dumped
You: that's a long distance thing there!
Stranger: so we didn't see each other like ever and we didn't talk much either
Stranger: you got dumped???
You: yeah
Stranger: aww
Stranger: what happened
Stranger: ?
You: she likes sex
You: I don't
You: (asexual)
Stranger: right
You: we couldn't work it out
Stranger: i love sex
Stranger: poor thing
You: the biggest problem though
You: was that she wanted sex with a dude
You: so...
Stranger: mmmmmm
You: *sigh*
Stranger: problemo
Stranger: soory
You: is okay
Stranger: if it is the truth than i really am sorry
You: it mostly is
You: I left some bits out
Stranger: liiike?
You: um
You: well, she was also with this guy
You: when we were together
You: but she dumped him
You: a few months before me
Stranger: was she cheating on you or were you the other woma?
Stranger: ooooh
You: we kinda were open
Stranger: mm
You: I figured she needed sex
You: I really don't like it much
Stranger: why not?
You: but then she got romantically into this guy
You: asexual
You: *shrug*
Stranger: i would love to know why?
You: not something I want
Stranger: i am a psych major so i like hearing reasons
You: some ppl don't like males sexually
You: some ppl don't like females sexually
Stranger: and women?
You: I don't like either
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: hmm
You: it isn't anything big
Stranger: i have a guy friend who is sorta like that
You: just that I feel no sexual attraction
You: sex is... boring to me
You: I mean
You: I can GET there
Stranger: that must be hard for your relationshipd
Stranger: s*
You: yes
You: I try to be considerate
Stranger: sure but why take the uncomfortable journey if you don't want to?
You: that's why I like women
You: it isn't so much to pleasure them
Stranger: because they think with their brain and not their pants?
You: no need to be penetrated
You: no
Stranger: mmmhhmm
You: *I* have less involvement
You: with men
You: sometimes they want and my body isn't... ready?
You: it kinda hurts to fuck dry
You: if you follow
You: lube only does so much
Stranger: right
Stranger: right
You: so ...right now I tend to gravitate to the more feminine people
You: but
You: I'm getting into narcissism!
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: niiice
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

hee hee hee!

playing with people is FUN!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: what gender are you?
Stranger: None
You: cool!
You: do you like sex?
Stranger: Nope
You: oh excellent!
You: okay
You: how many fingers am i holding up?
Stranger: Three
You: no, zero
Stranger: Nuts
You: damn
You: I thought we had something there
Stranger: Lame
You: i ate squirrel once
Stranger: Was it tasty?
You: it was... gamey
You: a bit rancid
Stranger: I prefer pizza
You: for sure
You: not doing that again
You: shark, on the other hand
You: is also gross
Stranger: Do what things do you like?
Stranger: So*
You: I like reading
You: and camping
You: and slaughtering pig-dog americans
You: and crochet
Stranger: Thankfully I'm Canadian
You: that is on the north american continent, yes?
Stranger: Yup
You: AMERICANERIN!
You: no, canada is cool
You: they gave my polish jew great-grand-dad $5 and enterence
You: after america turned his family away
You: because he was a polish jew
You: 5 times
You: Canada is ok by me!
Stranger: Fantastic
You: innit"
You: ?
You: what things do you like?
Stranger: I like..
Stranger: Drugs and Teddy
You: teddy bears or teddies the nightgown that gets whisked to the floor?
You: or rooseveldt?
Stranger: That would be bears
You: Theo was a great guy!
You: the bears, of course, named for him
You: so you like build-a-bear then?
Stranger: I've never been
You: me neither
You: but I don't like teddy bears
Stranger: Well I'm rather old for that
You: got a stuffed monkey from there
You: how old?
Stranger: 21
You: from my nephew
You: im 25
You: so you like teddy but you no go buy teddy?
You: I am confused
Stranger: I do, sometimes
You: ok
You: what drugs then?
Stranger: Opiates
You: ok
Stranger: And Benzos
You: I work with drugs
Stranger: Both
You: I make them
You: and sell them
Stranger: Are very nice together
You: is fully sanctioned by DEA
You: I bet!
You: but you'd get a fuck of a hangover, yes?
Stranger: Hmm.. I don't remember one the last time
You: maybe up to 24 hours post?
You: man, this is boring.
You: tell me something interesting
Stranger: Fucking you people can't wait 3 fucking seconds
Stranger: Interesting?!
You: whatever
Stranger: ILL TELL YOU SOMETHING INTERESTING
You: I just get bored talking to drug ppl
Stranger: I WOULD LIKE TO CHOKE YOU TO DEATH
You: YAY!!!
You: oooh
You: just gave me a boner there
Stranger: LIKE THAT FUCKING SKINHEAD
You: okay
You: tee hee hee!
You: skinhead
Stranger: Choked him with a broomhandle
You: okay I have an interesting thing too!
Stranger: Go ahead
You: the moon is covered entirely in black rock
You: magma
You: the reason it "glows" yellow-white
You: is because ther is no water or wind
You: to round out the dust particals
You: and since the moon is constantly barraged in meteorites
You: the top layer is pummeled into a fine dust
Stranger: I thought the moon was covered in regolith
You: with sharp fractures
You: and anlges
You: that reflect sunlight like a mirror
Stranger: I TOOK EARTH AND SPACE
You: it's liquid rock
You: cooled
You: like magma
You: you ever see the photo of the earth and moon together?
You: the moon is this little brown turd
Stranger: Hahaha
You: gallileo took it
You: google for it
You: it's true
Stranger: Ok
You: I love that phot
You: o
Stranger: Why wouldn't I believe you
You: it's like a family photo album
You: 'cause this is the internet?
You: and I just got done lying to some kid that I was a middle-aged man?
You: because lying is fun?
Stranger: I don't really care since the lies are of no consequence to me
You: you can't believe people online
You: exactly
You: but you asked, I answered
You: so!
Stranger: TRUE
You: anything else interesting
You: ?
You: I got a new tattoo monday
Stranger: Of?
You: it's peeling and itchy now
You: a band I like
You: Skankin' Pickle
Stranger: Which?
You: I got the pickle
Stranger: Never heard
You: yeah
You: 3rd wave ska
You: but the fun bit
You: is that the tattoo artist/
You: SHE IS A GOD!
You: I mean
You: zero scabbing
You: ZERO!
You: UNHEARD OF!
Stranger: I SEE I HAVE NONE
You: she did such an amazing job
You: I am going to her for all my future tattoo needs
You: no tats/
You: ?
Stranger: I'm very plain on the outside
You: oh
You: and a druggie on the inside>
Stranger: To hide you know
You: ?
You: hide what?
Stranger: Druggie Infantilist
You: tee hee hee!
You: don't mind me, i have my own addictions
Stranger: I imagine
You: I just deal with drugs for 40hrs a week
You: it gets boring
Stranger: To be fair I haven't done drugs in 3 months
You: really?
You: I just had a cigarette, like... an hour ago
You: and some whiskey Friday night
Stranger: Well I did have a drink earlier
You: annnnd I been drinking coffee all day
You: and I take venifalaxine every 12 hours
Stranger: OK, so caffeine yes.. and that bloody tegretol I take
You: oooh, whatcha drink?
Stranger: Booze
You: for seizures or for bipolar?
You: what booze?
Stranger: Some say seizures and others bipolar
You: LOL
You: weird people you know!
Stranger: I'm trying to come off it
You: ah
You: I'm stuck on the Ven forever it seems
You: without it I have a severe mistake in natural brain chemical production!
Stranger: Yes, that definitely sucks
You: I like Jameson whiskey
You: (meh, I'm over it)
Stranger: I had some 17% creamy crap
You: oh
You: like
Stranger: Out of whisky
You: Bailey's?
You: *GASP*
You: I would melt.
Stranger: I can't remember the name
You: I buy cigs and whiskey before food
Stranger: Mmm.. I love food too much for that
You: me too
You: but I'm on a diet
You: so
You: *shrug*
You: no carbs no sugars
You: ficking pre-diabeetus!
Stranger: No carbs? Lame; I love pasta
You: I'm not fat enough for diabeetus!
You: I used to love pasta
Stranger: WITH LOTS OF CHEESE
You: I do not avoid cheese
You: cheese is god's gift to me
Stranger: I could make some right now!
You: mmm
Stranger: But it's nearly 4am, haha
You: lasagna
You: HA HA HA!
You: I'm quarter to two
You: so you're east coast!
Stranger: In Canada
You: I'm mountain standard
You: yeah, I remember
You: I'm in the Rocky's
You: rockies
Stranger: Sorry, all the conversations meld into each other, so I can't remember for sure what's been said
You: s'cool
Stranger: I've probably said some foolish things though
You: who cares?
You: it's the internet!
Stranger: YES ITS AWESOME
You: i would marry the internet
Stranger: Even the porno parts?
You: ESPECIALLY
You: internet porn is magnificent
Stranger: Even the endless right/left politics parts?
You: um
You: nobody's perfect
Stranger: Hah
You: :D
You: so, tell me a secret!
You: since I have no idea who you are
You: and will never know
Stranger: A secret?
You: let's trade secrets!
You: yes
You: something nobody else knows!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hello stranger
Stranger: asl
You: 25 female colorado
You: you?
Stranger: 26 male sacromento CA
You: hello
Stranger: hey wanna atlk dirty to me
You: ok
Stranger: really
You: what are you into?
Stranger: im into you
Stranger: on me
Stranger: in the bed room
You: hee hee hee! we just met, silly!
Stranger: so
You: and I like it in the kitchen
Stranger: really
You: not really
You: no
Stranger: oh
You: but I like sofas
You: oh!
Stranger: really
You: lets be in ...
You: um
You: yeah sofas are rad
You: lets be in someplace public
You: !
Stranger: wow
Stranger: no private me and you having sex on my bed
You: oh
You: where's the adventure?
Stranger: you make it up
You: okay ok
You: what kinda sheets you got?
Stranger: green and blue
You: nice!
You: cotton or?
You: forget it
You: um
Stranger: ya baby if you and me were together on those they would be white
You: what are you wearing?
You: (snort! how cliche!)
You: oh how bout this
Stranger: boxer and my hand moving up and down om my penis
You: oh!
You: i like boxers
Stranger: ya
Stranger: yup
You: I'm wearing
You: hi-top sneakers
Stranger: what..
You: and glasses
Stranger: eww
You: and nothing else
You: well, I gotta see!
Stranger: oh in that case ok
You: lemme put in contacts
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

tranger: there's a drink called Pernod, have it with lime cordial and ice!
You: never heard of it
Stranger: 1 shot of pernod with 2 shots of lime cordial with ice, let it stand for a couple of minutes

Stranger: ummm not sure if u get it there
You: i like it
Stranger: but
Stranger: there's a drink called Pernod, have it with lime cordial and ice!
You: never heard of it
Stranger: 1 shot of pernod with 2 shots of lime cordial with ice, let it stand for a couple of minutes
Stranger: best. drink. ever!
You: I'll look it up, promise!
Stranger: i think it's french
Stranger: http://www.pernod.net/

remind me to look this shit up later today. it's bedtime (4:30am)

Dammit, Rex, you just couldn't make the effort with ol' Sikkbones, could ya? You two could've been friends...

Stranger: hee
You: Why couldn't helen keller drive?
You: She was a woman
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hey there stranger
You: Where the hell are you?
You: Over 47 German planes were destroyed with the loss of only 15 of our own aircraft
You: Where the hell are you Simon?
You: Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
You: Remember how she said that
You: We would meet again
You: Some sunny day?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hoooooooooi
You: Where the hell are you?
Stranger: i'm clemelinde
Stranger: in your ass
You: Over 47 German planes were destroyed with the loss of only 15 of our own aircraft
Stranger: cool
You: Where the hell are you Simon?
Stranger: i'm dutch and you?
You: Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
Stranger: yeah
You: Remember how she said that
You: We would meet again
Stranger: yeah it was great
Stranger: oké
Stranger: i like you
You: Some sunny day?
Stranger: yea in the winter
You: Vera! Vera!
Stranger: tetten tetten!
You: What has become of you?
Stranger: nothing
You: Does anybody else in here
Feel the way I do?
Stranger: ik zit in je aars
You: Us, and them
You: And after all we're only ordinary men.
Stranger: are you spatstisch?
You: Me, and you.
Stranger: yeeej
You: God only knows it's noz what we would choose to do.
Stranger: what are you doing at the moment?
You: Forward he cried from the rear
Stranger: batsen?
You: the front rank died.
Stranger: what a beautifull story
You: the general sat and the lines on the map moved from side to side.
Stranger: ik zei opkutten ouwe graftak
You: Black and blue and who knows which is which and who is who.
Stranger: ga nederlands leren
Stranger: en schrijf niet je geschiedenis schrift over
You: Up and down but in the end it's only round and round.
Stranger: sukkel
Stranger: get a life
You: Haven't you heard it's a battle of words the poster bearer cried
Stranger: ja het is goed met je
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: The lunatic is on the grass.
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: qing shuo mu yu
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hi
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: okay (y)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: The lunatic is on the grass.
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: on ground
You: Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
You: Got to keep the loonies on the path.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: hi
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: my name is samara and i see dead people
You: Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
You: Got to keep the loonies on the path.
You: The lunatic is in the hall.
Stranger: HAMBURGER
You: The lunatics are in my hall.
Stranger: RONALDO
You: The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
You: And every day the paper boy brings more.
Stranger: HOT DOG
You: And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
You: And if there is no room upon the hill
Stranger: FISH
You: And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
Stranger: MICHAEL JACKSON
You: I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
You: The lunatic is in my head.
Stranger: PAMELA ANDERSON
You: The lunatic is in my head.
Stranger: THE LUNATIC IS ON YOUR ASS
You: You raise the blade, you make the change
You: You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

im trying to get all the way through the song

You: The lunatic is on the grass.
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: what is going on?
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
You: Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
Stranger: if you see her say hello
Stranger: otf
You: Got to keep the loonies on the path.
Stranger: otf
You: The lunatic is in the hall.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: gay male 17 usa
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.





that was rude of Halo.....

You: The lunatic is on the grass.
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: i know
Stranger: i saw him
You: Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
You: Got to keep the loonies on the path.
Stranger: yeah yeah
Stranger: go fuck your mother
You: The lunatic is in the hall.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: The lunatic is on the grass.
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: he is? omg run!
You: Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
You: Got to keep the loonies on the path.
Stranger: yeah you should
You: The lunatic is in the hall.
Stranger: otherwise things get messy
You: The lunatics are in my hall.
Stranger: that's creepy
You: The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
Stranger: get them out!
You: And every day the paper boy brings more.
You: And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
You: And if there is no room upon the hill
Stranger: then what?
You: And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
You: I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
Stranger: what song is that? :D
You: The lunatic is in my head.
Stranger: yeah i got that part
You: The lunatic is in my head
You: You raise the blade, you make the change
Stranger: maybe you should see like a shrink or something :D
Stranger: b-bye
You: You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

almost got it

You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: hi
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: wtf
You: Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: ezel
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
You: The lunatic is on the grass.
Stranger: what grass?!
You: Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
You: Got to keep the loonies on the path.
Stranger: All the twats and balls
Stranger: Guitars and boobies
You: The lunatic is in the hall.
Stranger: 0o0o boobies!
Stranger: kodrineeeh
You: The lunatics are in my hall.
Stranger: the niggers?!
You: The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
You: And every day the paper boy brings more.
You: And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
You: And if there is no room upon the hill
Stranger: you make it spill off the page
Stranger: So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
You: And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
Stranger: A laughing stock of your own fucking stage
You: I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
Stranger: This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me
You: The lunatic is in my head.
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
You: The lunatic is in my head
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: v
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try meSo God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: So God damn easy to write this
you make it spill off the page
So drunk on yourself, self-righteous
A laughing stock of your own fucking stage

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

Just one time you got a reason
But you had nothing to lose
A blind preacher for the pin-eyed congregation
It must be easy to loathe

Oh but I ain't one to call names
Or throw stones in a house of glass
You try me

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
You try me

You can tell the same lie a thousand times
But it never gets any more true
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you

Just one time
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
The only one you could ever need
This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Just one time

This is a motherfuckin' invitation
Ya' try me

Just one time(ya' try me)
Just one time(ya' try me)

Ya' try me
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: ss
Stranger: h
Stranger: a
Stranger: h
Stranger: ah
Stranger: a
Stranger: h
Stranger: ah
Stranger: a
Stranger: ha
Stranger: h
Stranger: ah
Stranger: a
Stranger: haha
Stranger: ah
Stranger: ah
Stranger: a
Stranger: ha
Stranger: ha
Stranger: h
You: You raise the blade, you make the change
Stranger: a
Stranger: h
Stranger: a
Stranger: ha
Stranger: h
Stranger: a
Stranger: h
Stranger: ah
Stranger: a
Stranger: h
Stranger: ah
Stranger: a
Stranger: h
Stranger: ah
Stranger: a
Stranger: ha
Stranger: h
Stranger: a
Stranger: h
Stranger: ah
Stranger: a
Stranger: hh
Stranger: a
Stranger: ha
Stranger: hah
Stranger: a
Stranger: ha
Stranger: a
Stranger: ha
Stranger: haha
Stranger: haha
Stranger: h
Stranger: aah
Stranger: a
Stranger: ha
Stranger: ha
Stranger: ha
Stranger: ha
Stranger: ha
Stranger: h
Stranger: a
Stranger: ha
Stranger: ha
Stranger: hah
Stranger: a
You: You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
Stranger: a
Stranger: h
Stranger: ah
Stranger: why?
Stranger: WHY?
Stranger: YOU FUCKING SICK
You: You lock the door
Stranger: O
Stranger: DIE
Stranger: COCKSUCKER
Stranger: NO I DIDNT
Stranger: FUCKER
You: And throw away the key
Stranger: 0i
Stranger: WHAT FUCKING KEY?
You: There's someone in my head but it's not me.
Stranger: FUCKING REDNECK
You: And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
Stranger: B=0m
You: You shout and no one seems to hear.
Stranger: twat
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

HA, two to go!

Stranger: hello
You: I hit the road out of nowhere,
You: I had to jump in my car
You: And be a rider in a love game
Stranger: a song?
You: Following the stars,
Dont need no book of wisdom,
I get no money talk at all.
She has a train going downtown,
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

i gave up for the day. that's exhausting.

Stranger: u like Muse?
You: Is this your homework, Larry?
Stranger: EXCUSE ME
You: Is this your homework, Larry?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Is this your homework, Larry?
Stranger: yes
You: Look, man, did you--

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: whats the meaning of life?
You: Is this your homework, Larry?
You: Is this your homework, Larry?
Stranger: nope
You: Look, man, did you--
You: Dude, please!. . . Is this your
homework, Larry?
Stranger: yes it is
You: Just ask him if he--ask him about
the car, man!
Stranger: he says its wrecked
You: Is this yours, Larry? Is this your
homework, Larry?
You: Is the car out front yours?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i can only save the mirror
You: Look, Larry. . . Have you ever heard
of Vietnam?
Stranger: the one on the right
You: Oh, for Christ's sake, Walter!
Stranger: yes it is a chinese food
You: You're going to enter a world of
pain, son. We know that this is
your homework. We know you stole a
car--
You: And the fucking money. And we know
that this is your homework, Larry.
Stranger: it wasnt me
Stranger: i swear
You: You're gonna KILL your FATHER, Larry!
Stranger: no he IS ALREADY DEAD
You: All right, Plan B. You might want
to watch out the front window there,
Larry.
Stranger: jajaja
Stranger: i dont have any
You: This is what happens when you FUCK a
STRANGER in the ASS, Larry.

Stranger: i am in a basement
You: Fucking language problem, Dude.
Stranger: or was it a roof
You: Maybe he'll understand this.
Stranger: i dont remember
You: YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY!
You: YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS?!
Stranger: no i dont
You: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A
STRANGER IN THE ASS!
You: HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY!
Stranger: i didnt
Stranger: unless
You: HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS! FUCK A STRANGER
IN THE ASS!
Stranger: sally is it you????
You: WHAT THE FUCK JOO DOING, MANG?!
Stranger: weird meeting you here
You: I JUS' BAWDEEZ FUCKEEN CAR LASS WEEK!
You: I KILL JOO, MANG! I--I KILL JOR
FUCKEEN CAR!
Stranger: so long time without seeing you
You: No! No! NO! THAT'S NOT--
Stranger: no, it was a lamp
You: I FUCKEEN KILL JOR FUCKEEN CAR!
Stranger: its already dead
You: I KILL JOR FUCKEEN CAR!
Stranger: right mirror remember?
You: I accept your apology. . . No I, I
just want to handle it myself from
now on. . . No. That has nothing to
do with it. . . .Yes, it made it
home, I'm calling from home. No,
Walter, it didn't look like Larry
was about to crack.
Stranger: iam not on crack
Stranger: are you?
You: Well that's your perception. . .
Well you're right, Walter, and the
unspoken Message is FUCK YOU AND
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. . . Yeah,
I'll be at practice.
Stranger: practicing waht?
Stranger: what?
You: You're not dealing with morons here.
Stranger: i didnt think so
You: Hello Dude, thanks for coming. I'm
Jackie Treehorn.
You: This is quite a pad you got here,
man. Completely unspoiled.
Stranger: you are welcome I am james bond
You: What's your drink, Dude?
Stranger: wishky
You: White Russian, thanks. How's the
smut business, Jackie?
You: I wouldn't know, Dude. I deal in
publishing, entertainment, political
advocacy, and--
You: Which one was Logjammin'?
Stranger: john
You: Regrettably, it's true, standards
have fallen in adult entertainment.
It's video, Dude. Now that we're
competing with the amateurs, we can't
afford to invest that little extra
in story, production value, feeling.
Stranger: remeber john?
Stranger: tall guy
Stranger: was with sandra the last time
You: Walter, if you're there, pick up the
fucking phone. Pick it up, Walter,
this is an emergency. I'm not--

Stranger: i am sending police your way
You: Dude?
You: Walter, listen, I'm at my place, I
need you to come pick me up--
Stranger: how do you dial 911 for arizona?
You: I can't drive, Dude, it's erev
shabbas.
Stranger: its international
You: Huh?
Stranger: i dont eat that
You: Erev shabbas. I can't drive. I'm
not even supposed to pick up the
phone, unless it's an emergency.
Stranger: only hamburguers
You: It is a fucking emergency.
You: I understand. That's why I picked
up the phone.
Stranger: what is erev shabbas
You: THEN WHY CAN'T YOU--fuck, never mind,
just call Donny then, and ask him to--
Stranger: to...
You: Dude, I'm not supposed to make calls--
You: WALTER, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, WE GOTTA
GO TO PASADENA! COME PICK ME UP OR
I'M OFF THE FUCKING BOWLING TEAM!
Stranger: cool i will get my beretta
You: Who the fuck are you, man! Come on,
man!
You: Relax, man! No physical harm
intended!
Stranger: i am larry
You: Who the fuck are you? Why've you
been following me? Come on, fuckhead!
You: Hey, relax man, I'm a brother shamus.
Stranger: not with my head
You: Brother Shamus? Like an Irish monk?
Stranger: i mean what kind of sex education did you have
You: Irish m--What the fuck are you talking
about? My name's Da Fino! I'm a
private snoop! Like you, man!
Stranger: unless you mean oral sex
You: Huh?
Stranger: fuckhead= oral sex?
You: A dick, man! And let me tell you
something: I dig your work. Playing
one side against the other--in bed
with everybody--fabulous stuff, man.
Stranger: i would have to think that
You: I'm not a--ah, fuck it, just stay
away from my fucking lady friend,
man.

Stranger: thank you i am pretty proud
You: Hey hey, I'm not messing with your
special lady--
Stranger: i will tell her to go then
You: She's not my special lady, she's my
fucking lady friend. I'm just helping
her conceive, man!
You: Hey, man, I'm not--
Stranger: well she told me she needed a hand
You: Who're you working for? Lebowski?
Jackie Treehorn?
Stranger: eris
You: The Gundersons.
You: The? Who the fff--
Stranger: no, the erisian liberation front
You: The Gundersons. It's a wandering
daughter job. Bunny Lebowski, man.
Her real name is Fawn Gunderson.
Her parents want her back.
You: Crazy, huh? Ran away a year ago.
You: Boy. How ya gonna keep 'em down on
the farm once they seen Karl Hungus.

Stranger: more paranoid than crazy
You: Fuck, man! That's terrible!
Stranger: yes
You: Yeah, it sucks.
You: Well maybe you and me could pool our
resources--trade information--
professional courtesy--compeers, you
know--
Stranger: but they were following him anyway
You: Yeah, I get it. Fuck off, Da Fino.
And stay away from my special la--
from my fucking lady friend.
Stranger: i mean following him just for selling some nuclear lunch codes?
Stranger: thats fucked up?
You: His million bucks was never in it,
man! There was no money in that
briefcase! He was hoping they'd
kill her! You throw out a ringer
for a ringer!
You: Yeah?
Stranger: no
You: Shit yeah!
Stranger: eh no
You: Okay, but how does all this add up
to an emergency?
Stranger: eh no
You: Huh?
Stranger: yep
You: I'm saying, I see what you're getting
at, Dude, he kept the money, but my
point is, here we are, it's shabbas,
the sabbath, which I'm allowed to
break only if it's a matter of life
and death--
Stranger: then take the donkey out of the hole
You: Walter, come off it. You're not
even fucking Jewish, you're--
You: What the fuck are you talking about?
You: You're fucking Polish Catholic--
Stranger: nope
You: What the fuck are you talking about?
I converted when I married Cynthia!
Come on, Dude!
You: Yeah, and you were--
Stranger: did they cut...
You: You know this!
Stranger: well...
Stranger: you know...
You: And you were divorced five fucking
years ago.

You: Yeah? What do you think happens
when you get divorced? You turn in
your library card? Get a new driver's
license? Stop being Jewish?
You: I'm as Jewish as fucking Tevye
You: It's just part of your whole sick
Cynthia thing. Taking care of her
fucking dog. Going to her fucking
synagogue. You're living in the
fucking past.
Stranger: do you have a violin?
You: Three thousand years of beautiful
tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax--
YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I LIVE IN THE
PAST! I--Jesus. What the hell
happened?
Stranger: i mean its hard to play on the roof
You: Who's this gentleman, Dude?

Stranger: and having you daughter marry a catholic
You: Who'm I? I'm a fucking VETERAN!
Stranger: thats hard
You: You shouldn't go in there, Dude!
He's very angry
Stranger: that means you cure people for a living?
You: Where's the money, Lebowski?
Stranger: its a really good profession
You: A MILLION BUCKS FROM FUCKING NEEDY
LITTLE URBAN ACHIEVERS! YOU ARE
SCUM, MAN!

Stranger: in the closet you came out from
You: Who the hell is he?
You: We know the briefcase was empty,
man. We know you kept the million
bucks yourself.
Stranger: no i am not
You: Well, you have your story, I have
mine. I say I entrusted the money
to you, and you stole it.
Stranger: do you think that if i have a million dollars i would be chatting here?
You: AS IF WE WOULD EVER DREAM OF TAKING
YOUR BULLSHIT MONEY!
Stranger: well meaybe i would be
You: You thought Bunny'd been kidnapped
and you could use it as a pretext to
make some money disappear. All you
needed was a sap to pin it on, and
you'd just met me. You thought,
hey, a deadbeat, a loser, someone
the square community won't give a
shit about.
You: Well? Aren't you?
You: Well. . . yeah.
You: All right, get out. Both of you.
You: Look at that fucking phony, Dude!
Pretending to be a fucking
millionaire!
You: I said out. Now.
Stranger: ok
You: Let me tell you something else.
I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude,
and this guy is a fake. A fucking
goldbricker.
Stranger: i am out now what?
You: This guy fucking walks. I've never
been more certain of anything in my
life!
You: Stay away from me, mister!
Stranger: maybe he likes the wheelchair
You: Walk, you fucking phony!
Stranger: you know with a little motor on the back
You: Put me down, you son of a bitch!
You: Walter!
Stranger: you can get to 120 miles per hour on those babys
You: It's all over, man! We call your
fucking bluff!
Stranger: and they are electrical
Stranger: so really green
You: WALTER, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! HE'S
CRIPPLED! PUT HIM DOWN!
You: Sure, I'll put him down, Dude. RAUSS!
ACHTUNG, BABY!!
Stranger: like the million dollars i stole from you
You: Oh, shit.
Stranger: jajaja
You: You're bullies! Cowards, both of
you!
Stranger: go to the bathroom men
You: Oh, shit.
Stranger: stop shitting around the chat room
You: He can't walk, Walter!
Stranger: its getting smelly here
You: Yeah, I can see that, Dude.
You: You monsters!
You: Help me put him back in his chair.
Stranger: aliens actually
You: Shit, sorry man.
Stranger: he has a taser
Stranger: again?
You: Stay away from me! You bullies!
You and these women! You won't leave
a man his fucking balls!
Stranger: what do you have, diarreah
Stranger: ?
You: Walter, you fuck!
You: Shit, Dude, I didn't know. I
wouldn't've done it if I knew he was
a fucking crybaby.
Stranger: i dont want to now
Stranger: to many people
You: We're sorry, man. We're really sorry.
Stranger: i get inhibited
You: Shit. He didn't look like a spinal.
Stranger: you should be
You: Sure you'll see some tank battles.
But fighting in desert is very
different from fighting in canopy
jungle.
You: Uh-huh.
You: I mean 'Nam was a foot soldier's war
whereas, uh, this thing should be a
fucking cakewalk. I mean I had an
M16, Jacko, not an Abrams fucking
tank. Just me and Charlie, man,
eyeball to eyeball.
Stranger: thats why we moved all that people to the desert
Stranger: we didnt want to fight them on the jungle
You: Yeah.
Stranger: who wants another vietnam?
You: That's fuckin' combat. The man in
the black pyjamas, Dude. Worthy
fuckin' adversary.
Stranger: you do dont you?
You: Who's in pyjamas, Walter?
Stranger: ninjas
You: Shut the fuck up, Donny. Not a bunch
of fig-eaters with towels on their
heads tryin' to find reverse on a
Soviet tank. This is not a worthy--
Stranger: or was it pirates
Stranger: i dont remember
You: What's this "day of rest" shit, man?!
Stranger: stop shitting
You: What is this bullshit, man? I don't
fucking care! It don't matter to
Jesus! But you're not fooling me!
You might fool the fucks in the league
office, but you don't fool Jesus!
It's bush league psych-out stuff!
Laughable, man! I would've fucked
you in the ass Saturday, I'll fuck
you in the ass next Wednesday instead!
Stranger: or piss maybe
You: You got a date Wednesday, man!
Stranger: with whom?
You: He's cracking.
You: A tree of life, Dude. To all who
cling to it.
Stranger: you will patch him up afterwards
Stranger: tarot
You: They finally did it. They killed my
fucking car.

You: Vee vant zat money, Lebowski.
Stranger: i can lend you a mirror
You: Ja, uzzervize vee kill ze girl.
Stranger: thats all i have left from mine
You: Ja, it seems you forgot our little
deal, Lebowski.
Stranger: nope
Stranger: you forgot
You: You don't have the fucking girl,
dipshits. We know you never did.
So you've got nothin' on my Johnson.
Stranger: what is a script?
Stranger: and why are you running one on the site
Stranger: ?
You: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
You: They're nihilists, Donny, nothing to
be afraid of.

Stranger: and how did you get all the dialogues
Stranger: ahhh subtitles
You: Vee don't care. Vee still vant zat
money or vee fuck you up.
Stranger: niceeeee
You: Ja, vee still vant ze money. Vee
sreaten you.
Stranger: actually its niiiiiiiice
You: Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
You: Hey, cool it Walter.
Stranger: i dont know why we write niceeeeeee
You: There's no ransom if you don't have
a fucking hostage. That's what ransom
is. Those are the fucking rules.
You: Zere ARE no ROOLZ!
You: NO RULES! YOU CABBAGE-EATING SONS-
OF- BITCHES--
Stranger: i am not from ankh morpork
You: His girlfriend gafe up her toe! She
sought we'd be getting million
dollars! Iss not fair!
Stranger: he is
You: Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST
HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF
FUCKING CRYBABIES?!
Stranger: carrot is his name
You: Hey, cool it Walter. Listen, pal,
there never was any money. The big
Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase,
man, so take it up with him.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hi
Stranger: yvan eht nioj
Stranger: hi!
You: wat man my english no very good
Stranger: oh sorry
Stranger: where are you from?
You: brazil
You: you?
Stranger: washington dc
You: nice
Stranger: my name is barack, how about you?
You: Lula
Stranger: what do you do for a living?
You: I'm president
You: you
Stranger: no way!
Stranger: me too!
You: oh god this is so cool
Stranger: yo, you got good weed in brazil?
You: some, but i prefer cachaça
You: it's a drink here
You: really strong
Stranger: next time i visit south america we'll have to get drunk as s*** on cachaca
You: would blow your mind and bring some change
Stranger: damn homie, you aight
Stranger: let me ask your opinion, should i fuck up hugo chavez?
You: I don't really like him, I just pretend, so everything would look fine
You: actually he's a bitch
You: fuck him
Stranger: hell yeah!
Stranger: let's nuke his bitch ass!
You: now that will be some awesome change
Stranger: lol
Stranger: you're alright lula
You: we should probably team up and nuke mexico to and finish this influenza a bullcrap
Stranger: seriously
You: s*** is fucking my economy
Stranger: man, i feel your pain
You: swine meat sales went down like hell
Stranger: alright, i've got to take off
Stranger: you're a good sport
You: well man, let us blow some mexicans later
You: till then peace out
You: I'll take you some of our finest
You: cachaca
You: next time I pay you a visit
Stranger: i'll see you at the UN, we'll fuck them mexicans up
You: sure mate

Stranger: OMG like hey
You: Ground control to major Tom
You: Ground control to major Tom
Stranger: No

Stranger: whats upp BABY
You: Ground control to major Tom
You: Ground control to major Tom
Stranger: tom here
You: Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
You: (Ten) Ground control (Nine) to major Tom (Eight)
Stranger: paging faggot i reapet we hsve sfsggot

You: Ground control to major Tom
You: Ground control to major Tom
Stranger: bowie
You: Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
Stranger: yr circits dead

DAMMIT!

Stranger: 16, Female, Canada
You: Ground control to major Tom
You: Ground control to major Tom
You: Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Ground control to major Tom
Stranger: bonjour
You: Ground control to major Tom
You: Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
Stranger: right away sir
You: (Ten) Ground control (Nine) to major Tom (Eight)
Stranger: majo tom, what seems to be the problem
You: (Seven, six) Commencing countdown (Five), engines on (Four)
You: (Three, two) Check ignition (One) and may gods (Blastoff) love be with you
Stranger: sir i beleive we forgot to put fuel into the tank
You: This is ground control to major Tom, you've really made the grade
You: And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
You: Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare
You: This is major Tom to ground control, I'm stepping through the door
You: And I'm floating in a most peculiar way
You: And the stars look very different today
Stranger: you high today major tom?
You: Here am I floatin' 'round my tin can far above the world
You: Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do
You: Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles, I'm feeling very still
You: And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
You: Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows
You: Ground control to major Tom, your circuits dead, there's something wrong
You: Can you hear me, major Tom?
You: Can you hear me, major Tom?
You: Can you hear me, major Tom?
You: Can you...
You: Here am I sitting in my tin can far above the Moon
You: Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do
You have disconnected

Stranger: hey
You: This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
Stranger: gahhh something something faith departed?
Stranger: woahhhhhhohhhhh
You: No silent prayer for the faith departed
Stranger: hahaha dang.

DAMMIT!

Stranger: hey
You: This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
You: No silent prayer for the faith departed
You: And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You: You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: or a guy?
You: This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Mountain Diving, or Sky Climbing?
You: This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
You: No silent prayer for the faith departed
Stranger: It's my life. It's now or never.
Stranger: I ain't gonna live for evahh

DAMMIT!

You: This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
You: No silent prayer for the faith departed
Stranger: My number is 911 hit me up
You: And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You: You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud
You: It's my life
You: It's now or never
You: I ain't gonna live forever
You: I just wanna live while I'm alive
You: My heart is like an open highway
You: Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
Stranger: You like bad music don't you?
You: I just wanna live while I'm alive
You: ITS
You: MY
You: LIFE!
Stranger: Lol
You: This is for the ones who stood their ground
You: For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: White man came across the sea
Stranger: 17 F, i'm looking for someone that tell me what they'd do to me sexually, no pictures
You: He brought us pain and misery
You: He killed our tribes, he killed our creed
You: He took our game for his own need
You: We fought him hard we fought him well
You: Out on the plains we gave him hell
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: the notebook?
You: White man came across the sea
You: He brought us pain and misery
You: He killed our tribes, he killed our creed
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: White man came across the sea
You: He brought us pain and misery
Stranger: you are such a douche

You: White man came across the sea
You: He brought us pain and misery
You: He killed our tribes, he killed our creed
Stranger: :|
You: He took our game for his own need
Stranger: indian?
You: We fought him hard we fought him well
You: Out on the plains we gave him hell
You: Oh will we ever be set free?
You: Riding through dustclouds and barren wastes
You: Galloping hard on the plains
You: Chasing the redskins back to their holes
You: Fighting them at their own game
You: Murder for freedom a stab in the back
You: Women and children the cowards attack
Stranger: hurray
Stranger: :[
You: Run to the hills,
You: run for your lives.
You: Soldier blue on the barren wastes
You: Hunting and killing their game
You: Raping the women and wasting the men
You: The only good Indians are tame
You: Selling them whiskey and taking their gold
You: Enslaving the young and destroying the old
You: Run to the hills,
You: run for your lives.
Stranger: :[
Stranger: bye sorry..

Two points, BSAMS:

1) I don't know which I find funnier, the ones who clearly get their panties in a twist and disconnect quickly, the ones who try and talk even as you fuck with them before they give up, or the ones that earn the "DAMMIT!"

2) Iron Maiden...well played, sir.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Will you stand above me?
You: Call my name or walk on by?
Stranger: ?
You: Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling,
You: down
You: down
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hello
You: moo
Stranger: meow?
You: moo?
Stranger: meow meoowww...
You: mooooooo
Stranger: meow.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi m or f?
You: cunt
Stranger: have msn?
You: cunt
You: CUNT
You: ?
You: ?
You: CUNT
You: cunty cunty cunt
You: tits

They just stopped answering after the second cunt, the cunts!

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: Oh we were born within an hour of each other
You: Our mothers said we could be sister and brother
You: Your name is deborah
You: It never suited ya
You: And they said that when we grew up
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Horny boy?
You: We'd get married and never split up
You: Oh we never did it
You: Although I often thought of it
You: But Deborah do you recall
You: Your house was very small
You: With woodchip on the wall
You: and when I came round to call
You: You didn't notice me at all
You: Let's all meet up in the year 2000
You: Won't it be strange when we're all fully grown
You: Be there two o clock by the fountain down the road

Stranger: hey asl?
You: I never knew that you'd get married
You: I would be living down here on my own
You: On that damp and lonely thursday years from now
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: You were the first girl at school to get breasts
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Martin said that you were the best
You: All the boys loved you but I was a mess
You: I had to watch them try and get you undressed
You: We were friends that was as far as it went
Stranger: oh really?
You: I used to walk you home sometimes but it meant
You: Oh it meant nothing to ya
You: Cause you were so popular
You: But Deborah do you recall
You: Your house was very small
You: With woodchip on the wall
You: and when I came round to call
You: You didn't notice me at all
You: So I said
You: Let's all meet up in the year 2000
You: Won't it be strange when we're all fully grown
You: Be there 2 o clock by the fountain down the road
Stranger: whare?
Stranger: *where
You: I never knew that you'd get married
You: I would be living down here on my own
You: On that damp and lonely thursday years ago
Stranger: aww...i´m sorry

Stranger: kenny rogers
You: What are you doing sunday baby?
Stranger: i'm not ur baby..
You: Would you like to come and meet me maybe?
Stranger: grow up
You: You can even bring your baby
You: Oh oh oh oh oh
You: Oh oh oh oh
You: Oh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.