RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Comic Books Pick one/Leave one: The Comic book edition!

Hmmm... Bane and Bruce are brothers.

Jerri Blank comes to Gotham as its newest vigilante.

or

Jerri Blank comes to Gotham as its newest villain.

Hehe. How about she comes to the city to become the newest vigilante, but in the end becomes a villain. Makes alotta since when you think about it.


Batman reboots to the point JUST after NML.

Or

All of the other Bat-books and Bat family books except for Tec, LotDK, and Batman are cancelled.

Cancel all the dead weight.


Batman is rebooted as a 7-11 employee from India?

or

Batman is rebooted as an African tribesman who makes those clicking sounds when he talks?

7-11

Batman is rebooted as crappy american ripoff anime

or

Batman is written by Dr Phil and illustrated by a 36 year old mental retard for the rest of ever?

The anime ripoff was already done with Big O (except it's not all that crappy), so I pick written by Phil. Prolly give me a good larf.


A Batman Christmas special in the spirit of Scrooge.

Or

A really dark Batman annual where a serial killer sends people the recently detached body parts of still living orphans inside boxes enveloped in regal holiday wrapping paper.

The dark Batman annual.


Instead of being found by the Kents, who should discover and raise Kal-El?

Inbreeding hillbillies?

or

Michael Jackson?

Heh! So hard to choose. Inbreeding hicks. While it would be cooled to see a scarred for life and never slouching in showing that being the case Clark Kent, I can't pass up a Superman with a redneck wit.


Wonder Woman porn.

Or

A perfect Batman game that intermixes the GTA and Metal Gear genres using a huge map whilst incorporating sneaker capabilities. Of course it'll have all the other features too.

Perfect Batman game.

A new weakness of Superman is revealed. It's...

Spinach

or

Ugly people


Also: Pariah, on a completely unrelated topic, would you say that Joker is a physical manifestation of that "One Bad Day" that can turn you insane? As in he's one of life's wildcards, like a malfunctioning baby-bottle warmer?

Hehe! Spinach. He's surrounded by too many beautiful people for it to be interesting.

Oh dude! I forgot about that list. Tomorrow ASAP, I swear.

And as for the note: Well......Yeah actually. A bit more in depth response would be this thread. Read prett much all of it. Your time won't be wasted.


Batman and all of his rogues attend a chess match at Arkham.

Or

Superman and and Shazam get piss drunk and play for distance AND accuracy (poor Metropolis).

Superman and Shazam's Pissing Contest. They could do it like the old Bird/Jordan McDonalds commercials:

"Over the building, through the Dailey Planet globe, under the monorail track, bounce off that flock of birds, and onto Lex's big, bald head!"

DC's Marvel Family published by Avatar?

OR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marvel's Dr, Strange published by Jack Chick?

Marvel Family published by Avatar.Jack Chick creeps me out.

Joker goes to "Spider-Man" or Doctor Octopus to "Batman"?

Doctor Octopus goes to Batman.

Ivy goes to her 15-year high school reunion

or

Legally Blonde, only with Harley


BTW, Pariah: Have you seen who's next on the "Gets Crapped On by Hush" list?

Hush is going after the red x now?
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hush is going after the red x now?
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ivy to her fifteen year highschool reunion.

For fuck's sake, I hate Jeph Loeb with a passion born of a thousand suns. Same goes for Leiberman--I wanna beat the shit out of both of them.

*sigh*


Batman vs. Solid Snake. Who would win?

Batman

Or

Solid

Batman would win. I've watched Snake die too many times to vote for him. Snake? SNAAAAAAKKEEE!

Superman movie is made with Lois Lane played by

Terry Hatcher?

or

Vaginaface?

Hehe. Vaginaface. It suits her.

You know who Solid Snake is??? Amazing.


Your favorite artist on your favorite book forever

Or

You doing the art forever (granted you have talent)

My favorite artist on my favorite book.

Final fate of HUsh?

In what will be the last showdown between him and Batman, Hush is defeated in the Batcave and falls to his death. His body is recovered and buried by Bruce in a quiet ceremony.

OR?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Batman's Rogues Gallery, sick of him hogging a spotlight he doesn't deserve, jump him in Arkham Asylum and kill him. There's just enough left to properly identify him. His body is cremated.

Either way, Hush never returns.

Rogues Gallery killing him. Another fight between Batman and Hush... Hush doesn't deserve it. But I would definitely buy an issue that involved the whole of the Rogues Gallery, led by Joker, murdering and mutilating him.


Batman goes to visit Barbara. When he gets there...

she's in her kitchen standing up microwaving a bean burrito. She sees him, gasps, and quickly runs and gets back in her chair.

or

she's watching woman/horse porn.

ha ha ha! Standing at the microwave!

as Carny suggested, the rogues take down Hush. But,

does Joker lead the group and do the corny things the writers have made him do for the last N years?

or

is Joker locked up in a catatonic drugged state, unaware of the happenings, until the riot is well over?

Heh. Corny Joker--And shame on youfor not picking the horse porn!


Harley vs Tankgirl. Who wins?

Harley

Or

Tankgirl

I know this question was directed as Uschi, but...

Probably Tankgirl. It seems like she would play around less.


Realism in comics is taken a step further.



All of the heroines and supervillainesses are given crew cuts

or

All of the heroines and supervillainesses have the bodies of muscular gymnasts

Muscular gymnasts!!? That'd mean no tits! I'll take the hair cuts thankies.


Instead of Yorick being the last man on earth, it's Bruce Wayne.

Or

Joker gets to have a stint as a vampire.

I guess I'd choose B: The Last Batman.


Joker teams up with Charles Manson, then gives up after five minutes, saying "Boy, Manson is really fucked up!"

or

Batman stars in a Stanley Kubrick movie and flips out after being asked to walk through a door for the hundredth time.

Second one.

And as for the one obviously directed at me, definately Tank Girl. She's a deadeye shot, shooting.

Bruce Wayne makes his millions as a TV chef contemporary to Emeril!

or

Batman is really Jeffrey Dahmer?

Dahmer. I got a neat back story for that already: First, he eats his parents after they were shot (and embaulmed), and that's when he develops an insatiable hunger.

Quote:

---

Joker teams up with Charles Manson, then gives up after five minutes, saying "Boy, Manson is really fucked up!"

---

I think that made me laugh for three full minutes.


Charles Schultz's Peanuts is parodied by the JLA (I don't think it'll take too much brainstorming to figure out who Charlie Brown'll be).

Or

The Simpsons is parodied by the JLA.

Charlie Brown parody.

Bruce Wayne buys all of the abandoned warehouses in Gotham and demolishes them, except for the one that slips through their radar. Joker is concocting his latest scheme to kill Batman and laughs maniacally, when he finds that his laughter is joined by three others. He looks out the door, and sees that Two-Face, Riddler, and Poison Ivy are all planning their schemes in the next room, completely unaware of one another's presence.

or

During The Long Halloween when Ivy takes control of Bruce Wayne and takes up residence in Wayne Manor for a few weeks, there was a night where Bruce gets out of bed without Ivy telling him to. The bewildered and curious Ivy follows him through the manor and sees him go into the grandfather clock in the library. A few moments later, Batman comes out. Ivy runs up to Batman and shouts at him, "Hey! What'd you do with Bruce Wayne?!".

Question vs Rorshach, i'd love to see 'Shach beat in his head with a cleaver like he did to those 2 dogs in Watchmen



Batman participates in the reality show Big Brother along with a group of Arkham Inmates. He finds himself constantly masturbating in his anxiety to fight crime [cut to scene of disgusted look on Alfreds face]

OR

Batman participates in a cook off against the Arkham Inmates. Batman and the inmates have to taste eachothers meals afterwards, so they both decide to wack one off in in the meal




[argh, it sucks that my whole location remark doesnt fit into the post ]

Big Brother reality show! Definitely that one.



Who would you rather see translated to the animated DCU?


Lady Shiva

or

Anarchy

Anarky - only 'cause he'd look cool animated.


Cub Scouts use Firestorm's head to roast marshmallows.

or

Batman roasts the marshmallows on the ears of his cowl while he's wearing it.

Cub Scouts use Firestorm's head to roast marshmallows.


A deep dark secret is revealed about a major character. Is it...


Emma Frost is extremely gifted in skateboarding and competes in secret

or

Joker is extremely gifted in knitting mittens, but nothing else

Joker knitting mittens.


Who should appear in porn?

Hector Hammond?

or

Mageddon?

Hector Hammond! Could you imagine that?! You'd be too fixated on his obesely large head to care about the girl [or man] hes fucking.
Come to think of it, has anyone seen that fat guy with the moustache who's in the porn industry? He's really ugly, but i saw a documentry where he was nailing some pretty beatiful women. Enlarge this guys head a little and he'd be the spitting image of Hector Hammond


Riddick does he's pattented "Are you afraid of the dark?!" line and blows out the candles in the room. The lights get turned back on and everyone see's.......


Riddick having sex with warm apple pie


Or


Dancing like those crazy irish guys who smack their heels together in mid air

You mean Ron Jeremy. Supposedly he wasn't bad looking when he started in porn (considering it was the 70's) but now he's a mess.

I assume Riddick is the character Vin Diesel plays, so I'll say I'd rather see him doing Riverdance.

Since we're discussing Ron Jeremy, my next question is:


Ron Jeremy as Darkseid?

or

Ron Jeremy as Galactus?

Galactus. Seeing a giant, fat, ugly porn star about to devour the world would make my life complete

the JLA are about to commence a meeting, they proceed into that big room with the big circular JLA table. Batman opens a cupboard to get out some Bat-coffee, what falls out onto him.....


A dead Lois Lane


OR


A dead Talia


OR

A dead Wonder Woman

A dead Wonder Woman









If you could have one of these wiped from the comic book pages, which one would you erase?




Anything by DC with the word "crisis" attached to it


or


Anything by Marvel having to do with a "Secret War"




















Pick one...




















Leave one!!!

Well, I'll have to go with "Crisis" in DC for two reasons: 1) All crisis storylines are conviluted and 2) I don't read Marvel.


They bring back Ace with a twist reminescent of Cowboy Bebop so he's supersmart.

Or

Talia, in some way, programs her brain algorythms into Batman's computer and becomes its permanent AI.

Talia, in some way, programs her brain algorythms into Batman's computer and becomes its permanent AI.







Black Mast kills Jason Todd

or

Jason Todd kills Black Mask