RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Politics and Current Events I lost my Mother...

...early Friday morning.

I know everybody kids me about being the "old man" of the board and I enjoy this role immensely but the downside of it is that I'm at that age where my loved ones begin to pass away around me. My Father will be gone three years next month, my Brother just this past November, and now my Mother. I can't imagine a world without her in it yet. I was extrememly concerned that she wasn't going to survive this hospital stay. She was up and down in her battle and had actually been sent to rehab for a few days when she took another downturn and was sent back to the hospital. My Sister called me early Thursday morning and when I got there that day they had just hooked her up to a ventilator and her kidney functions were beginning to rapidly deteriate. My other Sister was with me and Mom couldn't speak but she wanted to tell us something and wanted to hold our hands. Sadly our visiting time was limited and we thought we were doing her more harm than good by being there. I think she already knew she was dying then and wanted to keep loved ones close by. My wife and I went to work that night planning on visiting her the next day. About three a.m. we got a message from my Brother...Mom had passed away. The family had left about 11:30 p.m. and Mom left us sometime before 2:00 a.m. I rushed to the hospital with my wife and we got to say good bye before she was taken away. She looked so peaceful, almost happy that all of the wires and tubes had been taken away. I kissed her several times on her forehead and contiuously rubbed her shoulder and said my goodbyes. God rest her soul and may heaven have a bingo hall where she can win all of the time.

sorry to hear of your loss Llance....

Good Lord above, Llance!

I'm sorry. It's been a rough couple of months for you and yours, and now this.

My deepest condolences.

Thanks guys. Yes it has been a couple of months for the family. Everybody seems to be taking Mom's death "pretty well" in the sense that we've all been through this so recently that we already know our parts. We have the funeral and burial on Tuesday and everybody over to our house afterwards. It's going to be so damn cold that day too-some 20 odd degrees. I really wish it would be a beautiful springlike day to send Mom on her way.

sorry llance

I'm sorry to hear this LLance, especially so soon after your brother. You're very brave man for continuing to share stuff like this online over the years, most of us keep to ourselves.

My condolences,Llance.

I'm sorry to hear about this, Llance. I'll be praying for you.

Thank you Captain.

sorry to hear of your loss Llance, may she rest in peace!

I hope she did not suffer

My sincerest condolences, LLance.

Sorry to hear about your loss, LLance.

Thanks everybody.

Man, I am so so sorry. Losing loved ones is always hard, especially when it happens so closely together.

...yes it is Grimm. I never ever want to go through a 2 month + period like the one I just went through.

My deepest, and most heart-felt, condolences on your loss, LLance. I'll say a prayer for her.

Thanks Joe...

Hey Llance:

I lost my mother to cancer back in August. What made this difficult for me is that I NEED to call her on the phone, and I can't anymore.

So two weeks ago I did the best thing I could. I drove from Palm Beach to Hollywood to visit her memorial, taking 441, passing by places that reminded me of her. When I got to her memorial, I excpected a few decorations here and there, and a photo. I didn't expect to see a Christmas card taped there for her family. I may not have the wording remembered exactly, but here's what about half of the card said:

"So when you look into what the past used to be, or when you look into the future to see what it holds, don't forget to look inside you, because that's where I'll be."

I needed that, more than anything. Yes, I grieved, I cried, and I spoke to her a bit. It was a tough thing for me to do, but I'm glad I went. It felt somehow different after that, but in a good way.

So if it helps any, best I can say is that as you move on with your life the best you can, give yourself time to mourn her and be sad if you need to, talk to someone, anyone.

While my situation doesn't fully match yours, in the sense that I still have my father and siblings, your mother played a large part in what made you what you are now, and part of why we're glad to have you here.

LLance,I truly feel for you. I wouldn't know how to handle losing two loved ones within such a short period of time. I also think its great that you can still come here and joke around in other forums with us. I always felf once you lose your sense of humor, you lose part of yourself. I've been praying for you as well.

My condolences to you McGurk.

wow...i'm so sorry

Sorry, Llance.

Me too.

Thanks everybody...the funeral is tomorrow...probably the hardest day of my life.

I don't know what to say, man. I'm so sorry...

sorry boyo

Hang in there Lancers...we're all praying for you! My grandmother was just diagnosed with cancer last week and we were told she has three months to live so I sorta understand a lil' bit of what you're going through!

My mom shared this quote with me at my grandfather's funeral a few years ago and its always helped me, "God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."

Don't know why I didn't think of this before. Later the night of my mother's funeral, I started this thread out of confusion and desperation, and the replies I got were very helpful, so I hope they're helpful to you as well.

LLance--

I know this don't mean shit in the real world, but my Dad died this July (the reason why I wasn't at the 'con) and it sucks, and I know (approximately) how you feel. At least you got to say goodbye--not everyone gets that chance.

PS. LLance rocks.

I'm sorry for your loss Llance. I lost my Mom not too long ago, and I can't imagine losing so many people that close together.

Sorry to hear buddy

I'm so sorry to hear this, Llance. I lost 2 loved ones, including my dad, in 2002, and I still think about both of them every day..............nothing we can say and nothing we can do for you, but to offer out support.

My prayers and best thoughts go out to you and yours, Llance.

My condolences to Theory9. Your Father raised a most special son. God rest his soul.

Thanks to everybody for their condolences and thank you for the link McGurk...a thread worth saving and sharing with anybody going through the loss of a loved one.

We buried Mom today. She looked so peaceful and she actually looked about 15 years younger. Two of my cousins helped my wife with the floral arrangements, as they had with my Brother's funeral, and they outdid themselves once again with their work. (My Mother and quite a few of her relatives all used to work at a floral business.) My Mother's name was Violet and a stream of violents was draped around her casket. White roses tinted w/ purple aerosol paint made the spray that draped the lower half of the casket. Five or six other arrangements were made by them as well plus those that had been sent by others.

My wife read the eulogy which everybody complemented her on. She captured the spirit of my Mother so exactly and concisely there was nary a dry eye in the gathering. I truly count my blessings for having married such a fine woman. She broke down herself after giving the eulogy. Her love for my Mother was so evident and overwelming it was all I could do to give her some small comfort.

Most amazing of all...everybody got along. After we left the cemetary the wake was at my home and I was expecting everyone with previous hurt feelings to be staunch and put-off, but everybody behaved like a mourning family should. Certainly a tribute to my Mother that I pray we all adopt into our lives until our own eventual departing. I'm sure Mom was smiling on all of us. Thanks to my family here at the RKMBs for all of their support. Every word meant so much to me. I wish I could spare everyone here any similar pain but knowing that is impossible I can only hope that I can offer words of comfort when you may have need of them. God bless all of you.

Sounds beautiful, Llance. And I'm glad that everyone seemed to pull together, or at least put things aside at this time. I bet your Mom was smiling.

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."

What a beautiful sentiment. Thank you PrincessElisa and God bless your family and Grandmother in the next few months.

My sincere condoernces to Pig Iron and Captain Cranky as well.

I'm very sure my Mom was smiling down on us yesterday. I can only hope we all give her a reason to continue smiling as well.

I am so proud of you Lance!!! Your survived everything life has thrown at you the past few weeks w/out becoming bitter, frustrated, or even angry! You are definately an inspiration to us all!

And of course your mother was smiling down at you! How could she not? My mom felt her dad around quite a bit after he died...it was as if he wanted to make sure she'd be okay. So hang in there Lance and always remember, "To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go."

Llance, I'm genuinely sorry for your loss. I'm glad the funeral went as well as it apparently did. Those sort of details have a way of making the mourning periods easier.