"Have you every danced with Captain Sammitch in the pale moonlight?"
Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps! Cross-eyed mosquitoes, and bow-legged ants! I come before you to stand behind you. To tell you a story I know nothing about.
One bright morning, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, drew their swords, and shot each other. If you do not belive this lie, it's true! Ask the blind lady on the corner! She saw it, too!
It's a Joker world, baby, you just live in it!
Kaz said: Emperor Joker, you rule.
Quote: Balloonknot said: I hung out with Joe Mama and all I got was Aids
It's your own fault. If you were able to hold your alcohol better, you wouldn't have passed out and given me the chance to drop you in the middle of that Roxbury heroin den. I made $500 pimpin' your ass - literally your ass - to those horny junkies. I'll send you your 10%, though...you gotta buy your AZT somehow.
Uschi said: I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry.
MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost!
"I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
Quote: Balloonknot said: I hung out with Joe Mama and all I got was Aids
It's your own fault. If you were able to hold your alcohol better, you wouldn't have passed out and given me the chance to drop you in the middle of that Roxbury heroin den. I made $500 pimpin' your ass - literally your ass - to those horny junkies. I'll send you your 10%, though...you gotta buy your AZT somehow.
That would be fantastic for Captain Sammitch's profile.
"Captain Sammitch. Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long, long time."
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet."
One story Chewy Walrus told me, the story I believe, was from his days in Chicago. There was a gang of Cubs fans that wanted their own web board. They realized that to be in power, you didn't need computers or money or even posters. You just needed the will to do what the other guy wouldn't. After a while, they come into power and then they come after Sammitch. He was small-time then, just running Red Sox forums, they say. They come to his home in the afternoon, looking for his business. They find his roommate and Meeko in the house and decide to wait for Sammitch. He comes home to find his roommate raped and Meeko screaming. The Cubs fans knew Sammitch was tough, not to be trifled with, so they let him know they meant business.
They tell him they want his message board, all his business. Sammitch looks over the faces of his roommate and girlfriend. Then he showed these men of will what will really was.
He tells him he would rather see his friends dead than live another day after this. He lets the last Cubs fan, waits until his roommate and Meeko are back at school, and then he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids. He kills their wives. He kills their parents and their parents' friends. He burns down the houses they live in, the stores they work in. He kills people that owe them money. And like that, he's gone. Underground. Nobody's ever seen him since. He becomes a myth, a spook story that mods tell their posters at night. "Rat on your pop and Captain Sammitch will get you." But no one ever really believes.
Uschi said: I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry.
MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost!
"I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
"The greatest trick Sammitch ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist."
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet."
Quote: Joe Mama said: One story Chewy Walrus told me, the story I believe, was from his days in Chicago. There was a gang of Cubs fans that wanted their own web board. They realized that to be in power, you didn't need computers or money or even posters. You just needed the will to do what the other guy wouldn't. After a while, they come into power and then they come after Sammitch. He was small-time then, just running Red Sox forums, they say. They come to his home in the afternoon, looking for his business. They find his roommate and Meeko in the house and decide to wait for Sammitch. He comes home to find his roommate raped and Meeko screaming. The Cubs fans knew Sammitch was tough, not to be trifled with, so they let him know they meant business.
They tell him they want his message board, all his business. Sammitch looks over the faces of his roommate and girlfriend. Then he showed these men of will what will really was.
He tells him he would rather see his friends dead than live another day after this. He lets the last Cubs fan, waits until his roommate and Meeko are back at school, and then he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids. He kills their wives. He kills their parents and their parents' friends. He burns down the houses they live in, the stores they work in. He kills people that owe them money. And like that, he's gone. Underground. Nobody's ever seen him since. He becomes a myth, a spook story that mods tell their posters at night. "Rat on your pop and Captain Sammitch will get you." But no one ever really believes.
Quote: thedoctor said: "The greatest trick Sammitch ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist."
These are good. But I have to leave the current ones up at least a week, to give full props to the last bunch of posters. Still, keep 'em coming. I may have my profile booked up for a month in advance!
Some days urg makes me proud to be his friend. Then there are the days that he steals my beer and fucks my woman. Somedays he gets that backwards.-Lothar
"Those were good days. Sitting around the campfires, eating dinosaur meat, and clubbing our wimmens in the head. I dream of those days sometimes. When Urg would make speeches and lead us to victory over the neighboring tribes. Good days, man. Good days." -Grimm
"Let me tell you about Captain Sammitch. Once there was this geezer called Chewy Walrus who worked for Sammitch. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Sammitch invited Chewy 'round for an explanation. Chewy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute Sammitch lost his temper and reached for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a fifteen-inch black rubber cock. He then proceeded to batter poor Chewy to death with this. That was seen as a pleasant way to go . . . Hence, Captain Sammitch is a man you pay if you owe."
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet."
I rotated quotes again. I'm getting around to 'em, guys.
As Doc, JLA and Jaburg have shown you, giving quotes is sorta like buying raffle tickets. - the more you contribute, the greater your chances of winning!
"More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than — I say more Muslims — a lot of Muslims have died — I don't know the exact count — at Istanbul. Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004
"Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004
"Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter." —George W. Bush, advising quail hunter and New Mexico Sen. Pete Domenici, Roswell, N.M., Jan. 22, 2004
![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
Amazing. Is that less than 700 characters?
