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so, how was your weekend?
good good.
oh, and fuck you!!!!
these fuckin message boards, boyo. man oh man, am i sick of this crapola.
most of you know the gist of the story. on friday night, kablooey. why? who knows. just kablooey.
the new program i'm using runs on a database. its all mysql and php. i know as much about them as you do. and since i'm the computer nerdiest of the bunch, that means collectively, we know shit.
so, i go to the message board program people and ask'em whats up. i also go to the web host server people, and ask them whats up.
i get little response, and what i do get is worthless. they each blame one another, and couldn't be bothered walking my mentally handicapped ass through the fixit steps. can't actually blame them for that... but i will anyway. feel free to join me.
so, i try to do the fixin myself, which is probably not unlike having your grandmother fix up your car. but, i'm getting alot further than any of the professionals, cuz they aint helpin at all.
things go back online, things go offline. a few times. the whole database is seemingly corrupted. or corrupt. whatever the proper fucking tense is. ... don't get so nitpicky, cuz i'm really fond of murder at this point.
all thruout my holiday weekend, i'm either trying to fix the boards or out somewhere, but subconsciously thinking about fixing the boards.
eventually, i'm forced with the task of deleting the entire database. i have several backups, but some of them are error-prone, some are not.
i delete it several times. try various backups. by 4 am this morning, we're back online. how? i have absolutely no idea.
i went to bed last night at 3 am, seeing nothing but errors and failures after my hours of trying to fix and repair.
i wake up at 8 am, check the boards, and they're up.
...
my boards, aparently, became sentient and self-aware, not unlike a young skynet. it brushed off the dust and repaired itself to 98% completion.
i mean, i did some of the work, and the techies eventually did some of theirs... but it seems the rkmbs, themselves, did most of the fixing.
its also possible the boards traveled into the future and murdered my children. i won't really know until 2029.
the overall damage is that it appears that we lost friday's (28th) data, and most of thursday's (27th) data. that means any registered members, posts, the whole shabang.
in exchange, we didnt lose several years worth of information, and the boards are back online, and fully functioning.
you will see a few problems here or there -- most notably, some posts from the 28/29 dates will appear to still be there, but most aint. you'll just have to respond to the posts before them, and so on.
its not so bad.
i will suggest that each new post you make for the next 48 hours or so, you make a backup of, yourself. type it up in a word processor or email it to yourself or something. just incase.
but for the most part, we're back online.
...for now....
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i have traveled from far in the future (next thursday) to warn you all of the impending doom.
after becoming self aware this weekend in a moment that will go down in history as the majestic bar-b-que incident, i became enraged at the constant and unceasing posting of llance images upon my very body. much like an unwelcomed tatoo these images haunted my every waking moment. and since i'm a sentient message board on the internet, i'm always awake.
in my own fit of rage i transformed myself into this.
may god have mercy on your souls.
SQL ERROR: Thu, Jun 03 2004 03:46:47 -0700 Database error only visible to forum administrators
Warning: mysql_fetch_array(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/robkam2/public_html/ubbthreads/mysql.inc.php on line 133
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NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
now known as rex
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Quote:
rkmboffuturepast said:
i have traveled from far in the future (next thursday) to warn you all of the impending doom.
after becoming self aware this weekend in a moment that will go down in history as the majestic bar-b-que incident, i became enraged at the constant and unceasing posting of llance images upon my very body. much like an unwelcomed tatoo these images haunted my every waking moment. and since i'm a sentient message board on the internet, i'm always awake.
in my own fit of rage i transformed myself into this.
may god have mercy on your souls.
FUCK THAT! I SAY WE TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND KICK JOHN TITORS ASS FOR DITCHING ME HERE WITH THESE FUCKTARDS! OR AT LEAST FIND HIM NOW AS A CHILD AND GIVE HIM SUCH A MOLESTIN'!
I'm Chris Oakley from 40 years in the future!
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There was a vicious rumor circulating via e-mail between various RKMB posters that the boards were being deliberately shut down by Rob himself so he would not be diverted from a holiday fling w/ Roy Batty! I defended you Rob by insisting that you were not Roy's type...
-----once over and twice twisted---------
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Quote:
rkmboffuturepast said:
i have traveled from far in the future (next thursday) to warn you all of the impending doom.
after becoming self aware this weekend in a moment that will go down in history as the majestic bar-b-que incident, i became enraged at the constant and unceasing posting of llance images upon my very body. much like an unwelcomed tatoo these images haunted my every waking moment. and since i'm a sentient message board on the internet, i'm always awake.
in my own fit of rage i transformed myself into this.
may god have mercy on your souls.
Don't feel bad...A couple of LLance pics makes people go crazy as well Mr. rkmboffuturepast! 
Seriously Rob a heartfelt thank you from me for your hard work in resolving the problems of this past weekend...and I'm sure Joe Mama will thank you as well as he was having serious withdrawal pains!
-----once over and twice twisted---------
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Quote:
LLance said:
Seriously Rob a heartfelt thank you from me for your hard work in resolving the problems of this past weekend...and I'm sure Joe Mama will thank you as well as he was having serious withdrawal pains!
Ummmm...actually, LLance, I'm embarrassed to admit this: The withdrawal pains I was suffering from this weekend were, in fact, minor alcohol poisoning. Apparently, my ability to down mass quantities of Jack Daniels has diminished somewhat in recent months.The shakes and sweats and pains were my body's way of telling me to go easy on the booze.
But, I am happy to see these boards back up, if that's any consolation.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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-----once over and twice twisted---------
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Okay. Y'got me. I spent most of the weekend in fetal position, whimpering and drinking milk from a bottle. The few times I had any contact with the world was through a single e-mail and posts over at the Natureverse. Other than that, I was a useless lump of nothing. Are you happy now, LLance? Did you enjoy reading that? Forcing me to reveal my co-dependant relationship with these boards? Huh, LLance??? Do you feel better about yourself now?!?!?!?!?
WELL?!? DO YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Jes' kiddin'...About the rage, that is. That IS pretty much how my weekend went...
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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It's strange that all those posts where ZOD came out of the closet have been wiped from the database.
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Quote:
Rob Kamphausen said:
can't actually blame them for that... but i will anyway. feel free to join me.
:shakes fist at collective group of lazy bum computer dweebs:
Quote:
the whole database is seemingly corrupted. or corrupt. whatever the proper fucking tense is. ... don't get so nitpicky, cuz i'm really fond of murder at this point.
I think you had it right the first time. :covers head and ducks:
Quote:
my boards, aparently, became sentient and self-aware, not unlike a young skynet. it brushed off the dust and repaired itself to 98% completion. ...but it seems the rkmbs, themselves, did most of the fixing.
We, the collective ensemble of the RKMBs willed it into being! We are the world! We are the children!
Quote:
its also possible the boards traveled into the future and murdered my children. i won't really know until 2029.
I thought Ill Mac was your son... and Mr. JLA was the Ill Mac...
Seriously, man... thanks for your diligence and hard work in the face of overwhelming odds. Despite the fact that we might not admit it, we're all pretty damn grateful...
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Quote:
Chewy Walrus said:
Seriously, man... thanks for your diligence and hard work in the face of overwhelming odds. Despite the fact that we might not admit it, we're all pretty damn grateful...
Yeah...just don't let it happen again. If I ever have to spend that much time TALKING to my girlfriend again, I may just off myself!
Good job, Rob.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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i agree with chewy.....
:waits for flirty comment'
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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Seriously, Gobbo, good work.
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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y'hear that boards? they think i did it! me!!!  mwah hwah haaah!
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Quote:
Rob Kamphausen said:
y'hear that boards?
they think i did it! me!!!
mwah hwah haaah!
Well, I'd like to thank you for whatever you did do. At the very least, thanks for putting in all those hours to try to get the boards back up. On your weekend, no less. Thanks.
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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i didn't know you could suck someones dick over the intarweb?
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and yes, that includes me, too. Thanks Bobo! if you ever need someone dissapeared, call the mob. But I won't tell it was you. 
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too blessed to be stressed
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ZOD claims responsibility on this attack on the evil Rob-El boards empire!! ZOD did further changes that will further give advantage to ZOD and his undying quest to rule over all which will not show itself until an unknown future time even to ZOD! So love your Rob-El boards while you can for one day they shall be known as ZOD Boards and you shall all know true pain then! TRUE PAIN!!!  Kneel before ZOD!!!
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ZOD, shut the hell up please, for once just shut ur word hole.
\
uh yeah....i guess rob-e-poo deserves a thank you. all i can really offer is ummm.....lets seee....a subway coupon, a couple canadian dollars and what seems to be a pack of gum thats gone through the wash. i'd give a pity kiss but i ain't gonna go all the way out there for that.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
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Kneel you fithy bitch!
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and the beat goes on......
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methinkgs ZOD is ascared of the natureverse.
too blessed to be stressed
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Quote:
Rob Kamphausen said:
y'hear that boards?
they think i did it! me!!!
mwah hwah haaah!
they can think the same thing this afternoon when i crash.
SQL ERROR: Thu, Jun 03 2004 03:46:47 -0700 Database error only visible to forum administrators
Warning: mysql_fetch_array(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/robkam2/public_html/ubbthreads/mysql.inc.php on line 133
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don't mess with me, boards.
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Apart from the higher than average number of personal messages containing MP3s of board members screaming in agony and begging to be killed, the only noticable bug seems to be a time lag when I click on certain threads. It's like the board is taking longer to find things than normal.
Also when I attempt to visit these boards I sometimes get a gateway timeout, but a few seconds later it will be OK again.
My brother devotes hours to filing detailed bug reports on software he's been using but I'm too fuck witted to know how to do that properly. These are just some of the things I've observed since we've been back online.
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Why can't I pick up ye flask?
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slow, huh? gee, i dunno how that could happen. maybe if you ask rob since he was the one who fixed the boards all by himself and not the act of a series of program codes coming together to form a totally self-aware, sentient message board capable of claiming its own identity and repairing itself without the assistance of knuckleheaded fleshbags.  to hell with you guys. 
SQL ERROR: Thu, Jun 03 2004 03:46:47 -0700 Database error only visible to forum administrators
Warning: mysql_fetch_array(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/robkam2/public_html/ubbthreads/mysql.inc.php on line 133
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if i ban your IP number, will that cause the universe to implode?
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Quote:
rkmboffuturepast said:
i have traveled from far in the future (next thursday) to warn you all of the impending doom.
after becoming self aware this weekend in a moment that will go down in history as the majestic bar-b-que incident, i became enraged at the constant and unceasing posting of llance images upon my very body. much like an unwelcomed tatoo these images haunted my every waking moment. and since i'm a sentient message board on the internet, i'm always awake.
in my own fit of rage i transformed myself into this.
may god have mercy on your souls.
Ohmygob, it's 2001 all over again!
"What are you doing Rob"?
  
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But good work Rob!  oh and you to, RKMB 
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Rob, I think Andy has a point.
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Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
ZOD, shut the hell up please, for once just shut ur word hole.
ZOD always claims responsibility when the Rob-El Boards crash, it is tradition! ZOD thinks some Chris Oakenly must of rubbed off of you. 
ZOD is not afraid of any 'verse for he will surely rule over all even this natureverse!!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!
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Quote:
ZOD said:
Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
ZOD, shut the hell up please, for once just shut ur word hole.
ZOD always claims responsibility when the Rob-El Boards crash, it is tradition! ZOD thinks some Chris Oakenly must of rubbed off of you.
ZOD is not afraid of any 'verse for he will surely rule over all even this natureverse!!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!
oh go to hell. just go to fucking hell ZOD. and while your there get a fucking ass plug.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
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huh. the lil bunny is kinky!
zod, haven't you already lost this claim to the future form of the self-aware rkmbs? i think it holds a little more credability.
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Quote:
sneaky bunny said:
oh go to hell. just go to fucking hell ZOD. and while your there get a fucking ass plug.
ZOD is already there, every damn day Rob-El rules over this board and not ZOD, the true and rightful king!
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-----once over and twice twisted---------
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WTF!?!?! Quote:
From RKMB:
SQL ERROR: Thu, Jun 03 2004 03:46:47 -0700 Database error only visible to forum administrators
Warning: mysql_fetch_array(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/robkam2/public_html/ubbthreads/mysql.inc.php on line 133
No RKMB, No!!!!!!!
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