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Charlie / Johnny Evil / Howlerama / El Superbeasto (53%, 8 Votes)
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Dave / LLance / Liberal Conspiracy / Jack Mehoff (47%, 7 Votes)
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Lor (67%, 10 Votes)
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Nuriko (33%, 5 Votes)
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Allied Powers (67%, 10 Votes)
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PJP / Urg (33%, 5 Votes)
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Chris Oakley (53%, 8 Votes)
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"Big T" 2 Ton Tommy (47%, 7 Votes)
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Doc. Mid-Nite (40%, 6 Votes)
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Nowhereman (60%, 9 Votes)
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The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
Kickstart my heart blares out in the arena Nowhereman makes his way to the ringNM:"I'm sure most of you know exactly why I am out here!" Marcum:"To get someone tips on a decent haircut & wardrobe?" Monroe:"I quite like his hair!" Marcum:"..." NM:"Now a lot of you guys saw what happened at Halloween Handjobs,but let me refresh your memories........run the video gaylords!" Highlights from Nowheremans match at HH are played,ending with Doc Mid-Nite twatting him with a chairNM:"As you see,despite the Cocktors best efforts to stop me,I overcame the odds & kept my promise. I defeated Turd & PGayP,plus Crapstain Howdy was too scared to even stay in the same ring as me!" Crowd cheersNM:"But that wasnt enough was it,Cockmuncher had to send his little butt monkey Doc Mediocre out to hit me from behind!" A smirk crosses Nowheremans faceNM:"Now obviously both the Cocksmoker & Doc Mediocre have a lot of experience of coming at people from behind,so I guess I shouldnt be surprised about their actions!" Crowd chants the Doctor is gayNM:"I went to see the Cocktaker before the show started,and he claims he had nothing to do with Mediocre attacking me,but I aint convinced. What I am convinced about though,is that Doc Mediocre has an arse kicking coming his way,so I managed to persaude the Cockstroker to give me a match with his lil "friend" tonight on Havoc!" Huge cheer from the fansNM:"Now of course being as jealous as he is,the Cocklicker said that I had to agree to appear at Anathema Wednesday in a match of his choice. Without a doubt the match will be designed to be as difficult for me as possible,but you all know me,as if I was gonna say no!" More cheersNM:"So Doc Mediocre,tonight I'm gonna be the one handing out a prescription,and that prescription will be a whole lotta pain!" Kickstart my heart kicks in as Nowhereman exits the ring
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After a commercial break, the camera fades in on Nuriko in her locker room. She picks up the yellow jumpsuit she wore at Halloween Handjobs off a chair, then rips it down the middle.
Lor, it hurt to lose to you last week at Halloween Handjobs. I wanted to prove myself as a contender for the Women's belt, and instead I was humiliated in front of the entire Cheesedome.
Well, payback time has come, and it's your turn to be humiliated. Tonight on Havoc, I'll give you all the pain you deserve, and then some.
Nuriko picks up a samurai sword from a rack on the wall and holds it in front of her.
Come and get me, bitch.
Camera fades out.
Bringing a little order to message boards everywhere!
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*Backstage...*
B: This is Bookake, Havoc numbah one anoncah! I am standing with Lor, Women's Boobie Belt champion! Lor, last week you successfully defended the title against both Nuriko and Meeko in bra and panties match. This week, you face Nuriko in non-title match. Nuriko say earlier that she seeks revenge. How do you prepare for this?
*Lor looks at Buckiki funny, then looks around the hall franticly*
Lor: Wha - wheres Crotchie-poo?
B: The Crotch is on temporary leave at the moment. I, Bukakie, Havoc numbah one anoncah is filling in!
*Lor eyes Bakakie up and down and gives him a sweet smile*
Lor: Well hunny, your no Crotch but youll have to do! I'll tell yah how I'm prepared for Norieko Noriki..... That lady!
*Lor grabs Bookaki by the hair and yanks his head backwards, takes out her can of green spray paint. Holds it up real high, gives the camara a sweet evil grin and spray paints Havocs number one announcers hair green too!*
Lor: Dont worry hunny, its not permanent! But for That Lady it will be!
*Lor flings Bekikis head forward with one dramatic jester and storms off down the hall in a huff*
B:<dizzily> This is Havoc numbah one anoncah, whoa, signing off.
*Lor's voice can be heard calling out for Crotchie-poo as the camara fades back to the dome*
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
"Rooster" blares over the Cheesedome PA speakers as Chris Oakley bolts down to the ring.He picks up the mic with the other hand and starts to address the crowd.
To make a short story even shorter, pest removal's been on my mind a lot lately. And there's four pests I'd like to remove from RDCW permanently-- the Tuesday Night Rockers!
Number one on my hit list is that steroid abuse poster boy Two-Ton Tommy!! At Halloween Handjobs, that bastard tried to end Hombre Lagarto's career and I'm not going to let him get away with it!!!
Pops from a number of fans in the Cheesedome crowd,mixed with scattered boos from a group of TNR supporters at ringside.
Next is Tommy Savitz. When I get hold of him... well, let's just say the Surgeon will need a surgeon himself.
MARCUM:Uh oh, Oakley's boiling mad now!
MONROE:Given what happened at Halloween Handjobs, that's not surprising...
Then I'll turn my attention to that little weasel Arnold Judas Rimmer-- Arnie, when I finally catch up to you I'm going to whip your hide just like my ancestors did to yours at Yorktown.
More mingled cheers and boos.
But I'm saving the biggest beating for James Fantastic! If he thinks I wanted to kick his ass before, just imagine how he'll feel after I get finished tearing his hired hands apart like wet paper!
Chris throws down the mic and stalks back to the locker room area as "Rooster" blares over the Cheesedome PA again.
MARCUM:Hasn't he got enough problems on his plate?
MONROE:He's got a score to settle with the Tuesday Night Rockers, and he aims to take out all of James Fantastic's teammates before the final showdown with Fantastic himself!
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Back from commercial. Monroe: Ladies and Gentlemen, it's been a helluva night! Strong comments from Nowhereman. Chris Oakley is more focused than ever. And it's obvious that Lor is as crazy as she's ever been!
Marcum: And we haven't even seen or heard from Grimm or Joe Mama yet! I'm dying to hear their comments about their match at Halloween Handjobs!
Monroe: I've heard from sources that one or both of them are in the building. Hopefully we'll hear from them...
Marcum: I wanna see what they look like! That was one of the most brutal, violent matches I've ever seen! I wanna see the...The Cheese-o-tron comes alive with very familiar music. Theme music from Tombstone? Music from a Clint Eastwood movie? The fans are cheering and chanting. The screen is black except for the caption: They are the greatest wrestlers of all time...Then: Each man a legend in his own right...Then: They have joined together...Then: And they are...Finally:  After a minute or two, The Cheese-o-tron is dark. Marcum: What was THAT???
Monroe: It can't be what I think it is...it can't be them...
Marcum: Aren't they all retired??? They're gone!!! They don't exist anymore!!!
Monroe: It looks like we'll find out soon enough...
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Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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*War Pigs blares over the speakers as The Doctor makes his way to the ring.*The RDCW has always been the leader in fan appreciation and inclusion. Last year we took it a step further with Anathema Wednesday. This year we're bringing it back. Six matches are on the card. You, the loyal RDCW audience, will be responsible for determining stipulations and participants. There will be a World Tag Title match with the current champions, the Allied Powers, defending their belts against Nowhereman and his partner to be chosen by you. Newly crowned Hardcore Porn Champion Charlie will put his title on the line against either Captain Sammitch or Chewy Walrus. The man not chosen for that match will team with the leader of the Sudden Death Connection, Penwing, to face Howlerama in a tag match. That match will either be a Tornado Tag, Table Elimination Tag, or, a little import from south of the border, Parejas Suicidas match. Some of you may not know what a Parejas Suicidas match is. It's a plain ole tag team match, but with one added stipulation. The losing team will have to face each other, friend vs. friend, at Havoc in December. Whoever loses that match will be put on a thirty day suspension without pay. Spandex Monkey Man, Killconey, and Tommy Savitz will enter the ring for the Crazy Bastard Bonanza. You get to decide whether it will be an Ultimate X, Ladder, or Mr. Sledgehammer on a Pole match. Darth will defend his IC title with the opponent to be determined by you. And, probably the match that our bookers had the most fun creating, every RDCW Hottie will enter the Cheesedome with a shot at the Women's Boobie Belt. Now, the choices that they've come up for you are as follows. 1. College Coed Dildoe on a Pole Match (No shit. This is what they come up with when left on their own.)
2. Farmer Jack Food Fight! First to find the belt wins! Anything goes! - This actually would take place in the grocery store. (Whatever happened to a plain ole pool of cream corn?)
3. Cheerleader Mud Wrestling Bra & Panties Match (The merging of two classics.) Most importantly, the RDCW will not allow the Heavyweight Championship match at Halloween Handjobs end the way it did. This match will be picked up at Anathema Wednesday. Whether they will meet in a Hangman's Horror, Thunderdome, will all depend upon your votes. There will be one and only one winner. I will not allow the audience to be robbed of that satisfaction. So go vote for Anathema Wednesday.
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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Assassinist 500+ posts
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(Doc. Mid-Nite sits in the darkness of the boiler room licking his wounds after a dubious loss to Nowhereman when he receives a surprise visit from Bukaki...)
Bukaki - "Dis is Bukaki! Avok's nummah #1 announcah, cummin to you live from da Cheezah-Dome Boilah room! I am a now goin to axe da Mid-a-Nite Doctah to grand me a nummah #1 intah-view!"
(Suddenly, before Bukaki can even speak, Doc. Mid-Nite jumps the camera crew, swinging a lead pipe uncontrollably, causing them all to scatter. The D.O.C. picks up the mic that was left on the floor amid the chaos...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "NOWHERESTOOGE!!!" (...a bloodied D.O.C. bellows from the top of his lungs...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "Do you really think this is over?!! Do you really think that The Late One is finished with your shaggy narrow ass?!! Not by a late night long shot!!!"
(The Mid-Nite Main Event pauses briefly to regain his composure..)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "Y'see Narrowassman, The D.O.C. never starts somethin' he can't finish, so if that means The Mid-Nite Express has to run you down and kick your worthless hide from one end of the Cheesedome to the other, then so be it!!!"
(Doc. Mid-Nite grips his lead pipe tighter...)
Doc. Mid-Nite - "The Doctor has you in a match where the fans get to vote who your partner is... Well you better pray they vote The D.O.C. as your tag team partner, cause that's the only thing that will protect you from another "Hardcore Housecall" (at least until the end of the match anyway...) Protect Yo' Neck!
(The camera fades to black...)
"Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money" - Ice Cube
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The Family Gathering
Charlie, Johnny Evil, Howlerama, and El Superbeasto vs. Dave, LLance, the Liberal Conspiracy, and Jack Mehoff
The Family's opponents awaited them inring, as "Ecstasy of Gold" began to play over the RDCW soundsystem. Louie and Grace headed out onto the rampway first, with big smiles on their faces. They were followed by the Giant Luchadore, El Superbeasto, Howlerama (Howler & Highwayman), Johnny Evil, Ariel, and Big Fat Elvis, and finally, the new Hardcore Porn Champion, The Million Dollar Pitbull, Charlie.
As the Family takes the ring, their opponents attempt to get the upper hand, but are fought off as the Family members each go to work on their opponents. Dave attempts to organize his team members, but their inexperience as a group is no match for a focused and angry Bastardo Family. El Superbeasto works over the rookie Jack Mehoff with several Giant Headbutts, sending him out to the arena floor. He then aids Howlerama in taking down the Conspiracy members, grabbing them by the throat and holding them as Highwayman hits a Stand and Deliver superkick on Jim Jackson and Howler nails a Full Moon on Whomod.
Charlie goes toe to toe with LLance, working him over in the corner. LLance attempts to use his bulk to muscle Charlie in, but the Pitbull slips out and goes for a low blow Million Dollar Pitbull style. LLance drops down and rolls out to the floor where Howlerama and Superbeasto are waiting to inflict further pain on him. Dave tries to lock Johnny Evil into a Typhoid Slam, but Johnny reverses into a WEDWay Peoplemover and hits Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for good measure!
Monroe: Why isn't Lothar sorting this match out? This is chaos!
MarcuM: He knows better than to try and stop a pissed off Family!
A groggy Dave manages to make it to his corner, but the only teammate still standing is the rookie Jack Mehoff. Jack tags in and runs straight into a karate thrust from Johnny Evil. Johnny picks the rookie up and throws him into the ropes where Highwayman hits him with a knee to the back. Jack staggers out as he gets hit with Mr. Toad's Wild Ride! Johnny tags in Charlie who immediately sets up Jack for a Tower of London!
Monroe: They're brutalizing this poor kid!
MarcuM: They're setting an example of what happens when you mess with the Family!
Howler tags in and he and Highwayman pick up Jack and deliver La Cosa Bastardo! Finally El Superbeasto is tagged and he finishes Jack off with a Chokeslam to Oblivion! Superbeasto pins the rookie as the Family prevent any of Jack's teammates from making the save! Lothar counts to three as the Family climbs into the ring to celebrate and "Ecstasy of Gold" begins to play.
Louie's Lounge
Louie Bastardo takes a house mic and climbs into the ring as the Family celebrates their win.
LB: Cut the music! Get this piece of garbage out of our ring! What you've just witnessed is the rebirth of the latest incarnation of greatness! The only symbol of excellence in the RDCW! The Bastardo Family!
And at this moment, I'd like to send out a message to that piece of trailer trash known as Balls Nasty! Balls, how do you like being sent back into the gutter, boy? Oh, it took a little work, more than we initially expected, but the Family's never been afraid of doing hard work! We thrive on it! Can you say the same?
Because what you have to deal with now is a Family united! We've begun the job, and now we're going to step in and finish it! It could be El Superbeasto! He remembers what you did to him. Don't think he hasn't been planning ways to pay you back, son. It could be Howlerama! They'd love to put La Cosa Bastardo on you! It doesn't even have to be in the ring. It could be in a parking lot or an alley somewhere. If I liked you, Balls, I'd tell you to avoid your cheap whores and your crack dealers for the next few months. But I don't like you.
Johnny Evil's also come back like the prodigal son! Did you like his present for you at Halloween Handjobs, Balls?
JE: Trick or treat! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
LB: And least we forget, the Million $ Pitbull, the brand spankin new Hardcore Porn Champion, Charlie! How did it feel, Balls, to be outdone at your own game by the Family? We're not done with you yet, boy. You see, Conniver Series is coming up and Conniver Series has always been a special time for the Family. A Family tradition you might say. This year will be no different! We're challenging you to a match, boy! Elimination style! Four on four!
Now I know that you'll never be able to get three actual wrestlers to join up with you, so go ahead down to Snake's pool hall and round up your drinkin buddies Ugly Bob and Lazy Eyed Steve and whatever other wino you can grab to make it even! Because at Conniver Series, the Family is gonna carve up the biggest turkey in RDCW! A turkey named Balls Nasty!
Johnny Evil steps up to Louie and screams into the mic: "The Loose Cannon is the Big Gun! Evil is back, baby! Yeah!" Johnny steps away to high five BFE (BFE misses) and hugs Ariel.
El Superbeasto grabs the mic, his hand engulfing Louie's. ES: "I'm back, little chihuahuas. Go and run and hide under your master's beds. The Giant Luchadore has returned and all the Family's enemies will know what "True Lucha Style" means when I am done." Superbeasto releases the mic (and Louie's hand) and high fives Howlerama.
Charlie drapes the Hardcore Porn belt over his shoulder and begins to speak into the mic, but is interrupted as. . .
I make stars, baby!
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*The stomping beat of "We Will Rock You" vibrates throughout the Cheesedome. The fans jump to their feet and sing along as PenWing, decked out in his ring gear and holding his Sherwood, walks out onto the stage. He has a mic in his hand.*
PenWing: Cut the music.
Monroe: I don't think PenWing has ever cut his music before. He must be pissed!
PenWing: Louie, you've got a problem, and it's name isn't Balls Nasty. Your problem is called the Sudden Death Connection!
*Pops from the crowd. Louie looks annoyed in the ring.*
PenWing: Now, I understand you've been a little preoccupied lately, what with this Nasty Balls problem of yours - which they do make prescriptions for - but during your breakdown, you seem to have overlooked something. Your boys started a fight, and it's not finished yet.
*Huge pops from the crowd. Louie is fuming in the ring.*
PenWing: You see, Louie, when Howlerama was just targeting me, that meant they were my problem. But when they targeted Meeko, they became our problem, the Sudden Death Connection's problem. You want a four on four match at Conniver Series, don't go begging Balls Nasty to play your game. Balls Nasty is going to have to get in line, because you've got four willing opponents right here, right now!
*More pops from the crowd. Howler takes the mic from Charlie.*
Howler: Well, PenWing, all I see is you up there right now. And if you want a piece of us so bad, why wait?
*PenWing smiles.*
PenWing: Is that an invitation?
Howler: How about coming down here and finding out for yourself?
PenWing: I thought you'd never ask.
*PenWing drops the mic and runs down the ramp. He slides under the ropes and stands in the center of the ring, waiving the Sherwood as the Bastardo Family surround him.*
Marcum: This is the end for the knucklehead!
*The crowd suddenly cheers as Captain Sammitch, Chewy Walrus, Killconey, and Meeko bolt down the ramp.*
Monroe: Maybe not! Here comes the rest of the SDC!
*The Family is momentarily distracted and PenWing delivers a British Columbia Two-hander to Howler, breaking his stick and sending him to the mat. Highwayman starts laying into PenWing, and the two trade blows in the center of the ring. Louie and Grace duck out of the ring as the SDC enters.*
Marcum: This is madness! There are women in the ring!
*Sammitch quickly attacks Big Fat Elvis with a staff meeting, and knocks him out of the ring with a Sammitch Spin. Charlie immediately locks up with the Captain. Chewy goes straight for El Superbeasto, keeping him occupied in one corner of the ring. Killconey heads for Johnny Evil, who is distracted when Meeko hits the Meekocanrana on Arial, sending her hard to the floor outside the ring. This gives Killconey the advantage, and he clotheslines Johnny Evil over the ropes.*
Marcum: That fucked up!
Monroe: But it's perfectly right!
*Killconey races to Sammitch's side, teaming up for a double powerbomb on Charlie, and rolling him out of the ring. Together, they close in on El Superbeasto. Chewy motions for the Walrus Tusk (modified spear), and after he hits it Sammitch and Killconey deliver a double Sammitch Spin to the giant luchador. Chewy follows with the Walrus Wallop (hard clothesline) sending El Superbeasto out of the ring. With space finally available, PenWing hits the Drag 'n' Whip on Highwayman. He yells to Sammitch and slams his right first into his left palm. Sammitch nods and walks over to Highwayman.*
Monroe: What could PenWing be signaling to Sammitch?
*PenWing and Sammitch drag Highwayman to the corner, and Sammitch lifts him for a powerbomb as PenWing climbs the corner ropes on the inside of the ring. Facing the crowd, PenWing reaches back and takes Highwayman's head into the three-quarter facelock. PenWing flips back into the Winged Wheel (Shiranui) as Sammitch hits the Sammitch Slam (Powerbomb).*
Monroe: Buhgawb! That's devastating!
*PenWing picks up the mic that Howler left on the mat.*
PenWing: I hope you were paying attention, Louie! That was the Sudden Death Connection! And that was only the beginning! At Conniver Series, we're going to finish this the way you're asking for it, because, anytime, anywhere, exactly the way you want it! <the crowd joins in> SUDDEN DEATH RULES!
*PenWing throws down the mic as "We Will Rock You" blasts over speakers.*
Last edited by PenWing; 2005-11-16 5:02 PM.
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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300+ posts
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Posts: 374 |
Women's Match
Lor vs. Nuriko
"Turning Japanese" blasts over the speakers as Nuriko makes her way down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Once in the ring, "Revolution" strikes up, and the fans cheer Lor as she walks down the ramp. Seeking sweet revenge against the Boobie Belt champion, Nuriko jumps up the corner ropes and hits Lor with a cross-body. She follows that up with a series of punches to Lor's face, bloodying her up.
Monroe: Nuriko's behavior in this match is sickening!
Marcum: If you were disrobed by someone, you would do the same thing!
Lothar yells for them to get in the ring. Nuriko stands up looks at Lothar, yelling at him to mind his own business. Lor takes advantage, getting to her feet and grabbing Nuriko's arm, Irish Whipping her into the ring apron. Nuriko jumps up before hitting the apron, and slides under the ropes and into the ring. Lor runs after her, sliding in behind her, but Nuriko sends her face first to the mat with a bulldog. Lothar signals the bell.
Monroe: Finally, we have a match!
Nuriko rolls Lor over and covers her, but Lor kicks out at one. Nuriko pulls Lor up, but Lor Irish Whips her into the ropes. Nuriko grabs ahold of the ropes, and Lor runs at her, sending her out of the ring with a clothesline. Lor slips out of the ring and helps Nuriko to her feet before sending her into the ring post. Lor slips into the ring to break the count, and slips back out to continue her vicious counterattack on Nuriko outside the ring.
Marcum: Just when you think we've got a match in the ring, Lor goes crazy!
Monroe: She's just giving Nuriko a taste of her own medicine!
After busting Nuriko open on the ring steps, Lor rolls her back in the ring and climbs the corner turnbuckle. She jumped off for High Comedy, but Nuriko rolls out of the way just in time. Nuriko slowly goes for the cover, but Lor kicks out at two. Nuriko argues with Lothar, allowing Lor time to recover. Lor grabs Nuriko from behind and rolls her into a small package, but Nuriko kicks out at two, sending Lor into the ropes. She then knocks Lor down with a devastating spear, and goes to climb the corner ropes.
Marcum: Nuriko got her second wind, and now she's going to end it with the Hiroshima Mama!
Before Nuriko can leap off the ropes, Lor gets back up. Nuriko improvises, hitting Lor with a missile dropkick. Nuriko goes for the cover, but Lor kicks out at two. Nuriko stands up and yells at Lothar, complaining that it was a slow count.
Marcum: If that count would have been any slower, the match would have gone in reverse!
Monroe: It was a fair count, and Nuriko is about to pay again for turning her back on Lor!
Lor spins Nuriko around, kicks her in the stomach, and dishes out Punch & Judy. Instead of going for the cover, Lor climbs the corner ropes and this time she does hit Nuriko with High Comedy. Lor goes for the cover, but releases Nuriko at two.
Monroe: What could Lor be thinking? The match is won! Is she out of her mind?!
Marcum: Lor's so nuts not even she knows what's going on in her head!
Lor brushes herself off and kneels down over Nuriko. She slaps her face lightly a few times, causing her to stir. Satisfied that she's conscious, Lor quickly locks in La Pagliaccia before Nuriko has a chance realize what's happening. Nuriko screams out in pain as Lor tightens the hold, and is eventually forced to tap out. Surprisingly, Lor releases her hold as the bell rings. Lothar hands her back her title, and raises her arm.
Marcum: That was surprising. Usually Lor has to be torn away after she locks in a hold.
Lor climbs the corner ropes and holds up her title to the cheering crowd as Lothar helps Nuriko to her feet. Suddenly, Lor hops down to the mat, and throws the title down at Nuriko's feet.
Lor: You want that? Go on, honey, take it!
Monroe: Now what is she doing?
Marcum: It looks like she's handing the title over to Nuriko! Go on Nuriko, take the belt!
Nuriko looks down at the title, not sure what to do. Lor quickly glides over to her and kicks her in the stomach. Nuriko bends over, and Lor delivers the Last Laugh, right onto the Boobie Belt. Lor kneels down and yells in Nuriko's ear.
Lor: Honey, next time you want to think about something, remember, I always get the Last Laugh.
Lor takes the title and slips out of the ring, skipping up the ramp as "Revolution" blasts over the speakers.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Cut to The Allied Powers locker room. Jeeves is nervously pacing back and forth. Captain Howdy enters.
Quote:
Jeeves: Well? Any sign of him?
Howdy: Nope! I hit every strip club and porn shop in Roboken...twice! They haven't seen that poof since Halloween Handjobs!
Missing!
Jeeves: And I consulted with the owners and employees of all the local fast food establishments. None of the personnel has seen MisterJLA since he disappeared neither! Where could he have disappeared to?
Howdy: I don't know! It's weird: Just like him!
Jeeves: Captain, I must say that if I didn't know better, you actually sound concerned for the welfare of your partner.
Howdy: Be glad you know better then! I only care that we have a World Tag Team Title defense, against those gibbons who attacked me during the Casket Match: URG and PJP! I, uh...better go back to the strip clubs to look at, I mean look for JLA!
Just then, there's a knock at the door. Jeeves answers it, and sees that RDCW Head of Security Doug Douchelinger, and his army of guards are waiting outside!
Quote:
Howdy: Fuck! I lost track of time! The Title defense is up now. Jeeves, looks like you're subbing for that absent wankhead!
Jeeves: I will do MisterJLA proud!
World Tag Team Titles: (c) Allied Powers (MisterJLA/Captain Howdy) vs. URG/PJP
Captain Howdy did the majority of the work during the match, as he took turns giving PJP and URG a jolly good thrashing! Jeeves however, scored the pinfall, when he hit URG with a "Final Justice" when Lothar was distracted!
After the match, Howdy walked back to the locker room, while Jeeves left through the crowd, looking all over the aisles for JLA!
Last edited by Mike The Mouth Monroe; 2005-11-20 2:21 AM.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
Grudge Match
Chris Oakley vs. "Big T" 2 Ton Tommy
"Sunshine Of Your Love" blasts over the Cheesedome PA system as Two-Ton Tommy and Terri Savitz make their way to the ring. No sooner do they start playing to the crowd than "Rooster" starts up and Chris Oakley strides down the aisle with Ian Bond. Tommy charges at Chris like a runaway train and the two men go at each other like rabid pit bulls outside the ring.
The two men start brawling as the ref calls for the bell, officially starting the match. Then the ref starts counting both men. Terri tries to get Two-Ton Tommy’s attention as Ian Bond screams to Chris to get into the ring. Neither man seems to be paying attention until the ref counts “eight”. Tommy, who has the advantage at this point, gorilla presses Chris and tosses him into the ring and then enters it himself. Once inside, Tommy presses the advantage.
Chris starts to mount a comeback, driving fists and shoulders into Two-Ton Tommy’s knees…
Quote:
MONROE: He’s trying to knock Tommy off his vertical base!
Chris succeeds and, with Tommy down and slow to get back up, assaults him with fists to the head and shoulders. Chris then starts kicking Tommy in the ribs before going back to work on the legs. Somehow, Tommy is able to fend off Chris and shoves him away long enough to get back on his feet. As Chris moves in for another attack Tommy hits him with the Laying the Slam-down and it looks like he's going to come away with the victory. Just as the referee's count reaches two and a half, however, Tommy notices Ian Bond in a shouting match with Terri Savitz. Getting up to possibly intercept Bond, he doesn't notice Chris slowly getting back on his feet....
Quote:
MARCUM: Holy S***! Turn around, Tommy, you dumb ox!
MONROE: The spiritual leader of the Bond Brigade has been given a second chance to pull victory from the jaws of defeat--roundhouse right to Tommy's jaw!
Chris delivers a quick Lock and Load on Tommy, and then signals the crowd that he's ready to apply his most famous finishing maneuver.
Quote:
MARCUM:I think we know what's comin' next, Monroe!
MONROE: That we do....it's Red Alert time!
Chris delivers a picture-perfect Red Alert on Tommy for the 1-2-3. Ian Bond enters the ring to celebrate Chris’ victory and the rest of the Bond Brigade gathers around Chris to carry him back to the locker room, but not before he looks at Terri Savitz and warns her, "Your husband's next!"
Fade to commercial.
Last edited by Mike The Mouth Monroe; 2005-11-18 1:23 AM.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
Heavyweight Match
Nowhereman vs. Doc. Mid-Nite
Heavyweight Division
Nowhereman vs. Doc.Mid-Nite
"Kickstart My Heart" kicks in over the speakers as the fans cheer Nowhereman to the ring. Before he gets to the ring steps, the lights go out all over the Cheesedome. Pyrotechnics go off, and the lights come back on, revealing Doc.Mid-Nite waiting in the ring.
Monroe: Buhgawb! Nowhereman has just been upstaged by the Mid-Nite Doctor!
Marcum: Oh, he's going to pay for that!
Nowhereman looks visibly pissed off as he walks up the steps. He slides into the ring and hits The Hardline (a running clothesline) out of nowhere, sending Mid-Nite to the mat. Mid-Nite quickly gets back to his feet, but Nowhereman sends him down again with The Kik Tracee (a variation on a running insaguri).
Monroe: Nowhereman is striking fast and hard!
Marcum: But Mid-Nite is quickly standing up again!
Nowhereman turns around to see Mid-Nite already on his feet. He mouths "fuck" as Mid-Nite runs to the ropes and springboards off of them, knocking Nowhereman down with a drop kick. Nowhermean gets back to his feet, but Mid-Nite is already standing over him. The two begin trading blows, and Mid-Nite gets the upper hand, Irish Whipping Nowhereman into the corner. He follows that up with a Stinger Splash, and Nowhereman falls forward. Mid-Nite goes for the cover.
Monroe: This can't be over already!
Marcum: It's not! Nowhereman has his foot on the ropes!
Lothar sees Nowhereman's foot on the ropes and signals no pin. Mid-Nite pulls Nowhereman away from the ropes and covers him again, but Nowhereman throws him off at two and quickly gets back to his feet. Mid-Nite dusts himself off as he stands up, seemingly mocking the RDCW's rock star.
Monroe: It looks like Mid-Nite is mocking Nowhereman!
Marcum: The egomaniac has it coming the way he walks around like he owns the place!
The two size each other up, seemingly for the first time, as they circle the ring. Finally, they charge each other and lock up.
Monroe: This match seems to be taking a turn for the technical!
Marcum: <YAWN>
Mid-Nite twists Nowhereman into a series of various roll-ups, but he can't hold him long enough for a pin. Nowhereman manages to twist Mid-Nite so they are standing back to back, he hits him with The Thunder (a strike to the back of an opponents head/neck while standing back to back). Mid-Nite goes down, and Nowhereman quickly locks in The Iron Maiden (crossface). Mid-Nite struggles to break the hold, and tries to pull nowhereman to the ropes. Nowhereman, pulls Mid-Nite into a roll, and they stop in the center of the ring, with the Iron Maiden still locked in.
Monroe: Mid-Nite is weakening! He may not even get the chance to tap before he passes out!
Marcum: It'll take more than the Iron Maiden to knock out the Mid-Nite Marauder!
Lothar raises Mid-Nite's hand, but before he can release it, Mid-Nite twists his grip and grabs a hold of Lothar's arm, pulling him down on top of him. Nowhereman breaks his hold to get out of the way, and rolls out of the ring, visibly pissed. He goes to grab a chair, but when he turns around, Mid-Nite leaps backwards, off the ropes, and takes Nowhereman down with a modified "High Crescent" Moonsault. Mid-Nite stands up, taking the chair in his hands, but Nowhereman gets a boot up and kicks it into his face.
Monroe: Buhgawb! Mid-Nite is busted open outside the ring!
Marcum: And as usual, our senior official is sleeping on the job!
Monroe: Well, he's missing one hell of a fight!
Nowhereman helps Mid-Nite to his feet, and moves to Irish Whip him into the ring post. However, Mid-Nite takes control and dishes out The "Attitude Adjustment" Spinebuster, sending Nowhereman's back onto the steel chair.
Marcum: You think Doc.Mid-Nite is a chiropractor?
Monroe: I don't think Nowhereman cares right now.
Marcum: I'm not talking about Nowhereman. I've been having this pain in my lower back and-
Monroe: Buhgawb! Mid-Nite just hit The "Long Kiss Good night" (flying elbow) from the far ring post!
Marcum: This is insanity!
Mid-Nite gets up and lifts Nowhereman up, rolling him into the ring. He then grabs the steel chair and climbs the corner ropes. Lothar finally gets up and pulls the chair away from Mid-Nite, who falls onto the ropes as Lothar backs away. However, Lothar bumps into Nowhereman, who is in the process of getting back to his feet. Lothar falls backwards over him, and knocks himself out with the chair. Nowhereman manages to get to the corner just as Mid-Nite repositions himself. He grabs Mid-Nite's throat and lifts him off the ropes. Nowhereman turns around and executes The Slammin Gladys (chokeslam). He goes for the cover, but Lothar is still out cold.
Monroe: This match should be over!
Marcum: It looks like it is for Lothar!
Nowhereman wakes Lothar, but it takes him too long, and by the time he gets a count, Mid-Nite is able to kick out after two. Nowhereman is furious. He pulls Mid-Nite to his feet and tries to set up The Black n Blue (last ride), but Mid-Nite flips Nowhereman over him.
Monroe: Where did he get that energy from?
Marcum: Maybe he wrote himself a prescription?
Nowhereman gets back up, but Mid-Nite whips him into the corner and hits another Stinger Splash. Leaving Nowhereman half sitting half standing in the corner, Mid-Nite picks up the chair and climbs the opposite corner. Lothar finally gets back up, but he's too late to stop the Mid-Nite Doctor from executing The "Final Dose" (Van Terminator). Lothar signals for the bell, disqualifying Doc.Mid-Nite. Lothar checks on Nowhereman, whose face is covered in his own blood.
Monroe: Buhgawb! That was sickening!
Marcum: It was just what the Mid-Nite Doctor ordered!
The lights go out, and when they return, Mid-Nite is nowhere to be seen.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 374 |
*As Havoc prepares to draw to an end, the cameras cut to the CheeseDome parking lot.
Monroe: What's this?
MarcuM: Somebody's leaving.
*Louie Bastardo and a man dressed in a black suit step out of the back of the Cheesedome. A limo pulls up and the man opens the door for Louie to get in.
LB: "Thank you, Gustave."
Once the door opens, Louie jolts backwards in shock and covers up his nose. Gustave does the same. Squealing can be heard from inside the limo as pigs begin to pour out from inside the limo. Louie tries to run, but pigs trip him up. As
Gustave goes to help his boss up, Balls Nasty runs into frame and clocks him on the back of the head.
Monroe: It's Balls Nasty!
MarcuM: He's assaulting Louie! That ain't right!
Nasty slams Gustave's head into the side of the limo several times before tossing him on the on the ground. Balls Nasty then walks over and grabs Louie Bastardo and picks him up.
LB: Dammit! Put me down! What the hell are you doing, you maniac?! Let me go!
Louie fights as Balls pushes him into the back of the limo. Bastardo is clawing at the door and frame. Nasty finally shoves Louie in and slams the door closed.
Balls Nasty: Squeal, Louie! Squeal like the little piggy you are!
Nasty runs up to the open driver's side door and pushes the button to lock the doors. As Nasty gets behind the wheel, Louie is slamming his fist against the back door and window while screaming to get out. The limo's tires squeal as they spin on the pavement before it takes off away from the arena.
Monroe: He just kidnapped Louie Bastardo!
MarcuM: That ain't right!
Havoc fades out.
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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