RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Fortress of Awesome Chat -((Random Interview #12))- : Pig Iron

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Pig Iron

1) What is your full name?

David Barker. Yes, like many serial killers I have the same middle name. And my initials spell DWeeB kinda… I’m named after my Uncle, and my middle name is the same as my Dad.

2) Where do you currently reside?

I live in a crappy part of EDITED BY REQUEST...but I own, and my house is now like a Fortress of Solitude due to recent security upgrades. Basically, I live a bit north of Cincinnati.

3) So, I know where the name "Pig Iron" comes from. But, for our more less-than-enlightened posters (namely, most of them) explain the origin of this self-imposed label and why you would choose such a title.

Hmmm, about 6 or 7 years ago I ventured onto the DC Boreds. So I wanted to choose a comic style name. My first thought was Pig Iron, and luckily it wasn’t taken. For anyone that doesn’t know Pig Iron is the super hero form of Peter Porkchops who appeared waay, waayyy back in Leading Comics. As Pig Iron he became a member of The Amazing Zoo-Crew after being struck by a fragment of a comet and falling into a vat of iron in his hometown of Piggsburg. Being a fan of the New Teen Titans I followed his adventures in Captain Carrot, and His Amazing Zoo-Crew after I read his debut in New Teen Titans #16. By the way issue 12 of Captain Carrot features the first published art of Arthur Adams…FYI. Various years of inane posts later here I am—same name, same pig. Plus I didn’t use the name Dave or David because there was already a Typhoid/Typhoon Dave on the DC Boreds. Basically, it was my enjoyment of the character. So, that is the story of the porcine powerhouse.

4) Art Adams kicks ass. And the other stuff, too. Anyway, what does a metallic swine do for a living? Is it what you want to be doing? If not, what is the dream job?

Oh, man. Right now I am living off of my savings, loans, and lack of many bills and going back to school. The story gets complicated, but let’s just say I already have a degree, I’m working on another degree, but will probably end up going to grad school. It’s weird, but it was under doctor’s orders. I graduated from Ohio State University in 1996 with a BA in English lit. Originally I wanted to be in graphic design, but after working in the field and taking classes I knew it wasn’t for me. So, I wanted to be an editor or proof-reader. My uncle passed away about the same time that I graduated, and from the time I was 10 it was basically my Dad, my Uncle, and I all living together and taking care of each other. My Uncle was important to both of us and I decided that going home after college would be best because my Dad was drinking himself into oblivion. At the same time my Mother was very sick and the doctor gave her 1 to 2 years to live—if my Uncle wasn’t enough…I’ve been here ever since. I’ve been a bartender, in insurance, a Pepsi man, I worked at Wal-Mart, and I was a caseworker/social worker. The social work really got to me, and my doctor told me to go back to college, and find something else to do with my life before I die--so I did. I really enjoyed bartending and working for Pepsi. Honestly, my dream job is writing and drawing my own comic...not for vanity, but because people would want me too. Drawing is a love...probably THE love I have as far as work goes. So, I think I’m going the route of art education or something similar. But, then I also always wanted to be a park ranger at Glacier National Park—who knows. Sorry, that was long-winded.

5) You're a movie waiting to happen, aren't you? Got any hobbies?

Hobbies? Hobbies is what I do really I guess. I have too many hobbies I collect Ohio State player and Cincinnati Bengal Football cards, Football in general, I read, I am a movie lunatic, I collect guns, silver, Farscape stuff, listen to Coast To Coast AM nightly, and anything Stormtrooper (Star Wars that is...not NAZI). I suppose I collect these things to fill a void of singleness, or maybe because I simply like all those things—I couldn’t tell you for sure. But, that said, two things I utterly could not live without unless I was homeless and starving are comic books and G.I. Joe. I will cover comic books later, but I’m kind of a GI Joe nut—the 3 ¾ inch ones that started in 1982.

When my Mother passed away 2 ½ years ago I was, obviously, crushed and in pain, etc. While I was away at her house and watching at her side for some three weeks right up until she died—I was robbed. I came back to my house the night she passed only to discover half of my comics, almost all of my Joes, half of my clothes, all of my art, and many other personal items were stolen off of me. Well, at the time I wasn’t too worried as my Mother had just passed. I was in a “well, physical things aren’t important” mood. Which really is true and I still believe that as Pro, you know all too well--fire, hurricane, flood, thievery—any of these things can destroy possessions. But later, upon introspection, I realized I had to rebuild my GI Joe collection. I think reclaiming that piece of what I was in youth brings me closer to my Mother –in a way. I lived with my father and uncle from the time I was 10 or so, and on weekends my Mom would take me around to hunt for comics and GI Joe stuff. She was always happy and interested in my hunts, and we bonded more closely in those times, because it was usually just her and I. Looking back I just remember GI Joes as being a small tangible piece of the overall healing process for our Mother/Son relationship. I think reclaiming my collection is a way of me reclaiming a history I can never get back, but every time I get a Joe from ebay or from a flea Market I always think of my Mom. I know it sounds kind of goofy, and I have pictures of her hanging up and I have a boatload of memories, but it just feels important to me. I have a rather extensive collection of GI Joes.

6) Yeah, old Trek episodes are my parental connections. Every Sunday of my childhood, me, Dad, Kirk, and Spock. Good times. Memories like that keep me going. How about you? What gets you out of the bed each morning? In other words, what makes your day? What do you look forward to the most each day, and why?

Hmmm, at this point not much honestly. I was mired for the past 4 months as I was becoming less enthused about my path to become a zoologist/environmental scientist. I really wanted to go into a field doing conservation or something along those lines, but I was becoming tired of the taxonomy stuff and all of the stupid scientific papers. I enjoy going to classes and seeing all of the hot, young women at college.

...is there any other reason to go?

That sometimes makes me feel even older than I am though, because I just cannot relate with many people under the age of 30-there are exceptions of course. I am coming out of my funk, as it were, and I think I’m re-inspired by my rediscovery of art. I have only doodled since all (the vast majority) of my art got stolen. I honestly think I was destined to do something creative rather than sit at a paper-filled desk doing bureaucratic BS. Being uninspired is honestly the worst feeling in the world. I think working in a job you don’t like or enjoy is only possible or acceptable if you have a family that you need to support. I mean, I would do whatever it took to make my children’s lives better if I had any, but I don’t so I don’t have to worry about it. It seems kind of sad, but really events are the only things that get me out of bed right now…class, new comic day, new DVD day, sometimes I have to drive my Dad around, sometimes I’m doing remodeling work on my other house, and sometimes I just get up because I just want to have a productive day like doing dishes and laundry or studying. Recently I have really looked forward to going to art class.

7) Fight Club time: If you could get into a fist-fight with anyone on these boards, who would it be?

Me? Fight with someone on the RKMBS? There are plenty of people that can annoy me at times, but I never can get too upset because it is mostly fun or lunacy. I’ve been upset at Animalman, Sneaky, Nowhereman, BSAMS, Mxy—hell, lots of people, but it usually lasts about an hour and then I realize its just shenanigans, and I either try to come up with something witty in response or just go on. Some people annoy me in the Deep Thoughts section like G-Man, Magic, R3x, Pariah, et al. That is mostly because they seem to always tow the party line and end up sounding like political tools. I think the truth usually lies somewhere in between, but some people just can’t see that.

Honestly, it’s a cliché by now, but I’d have to say Pariah. Being the only person I’ve ever put on ignore should tell you something. The goofy hentai trannie pictures never annoyed me much on their own, because anyone and everyone on the RKMBS has seen some sick, sick stuff. It’s not the silly Fight Club buffoonery. The goofy opinions in the Deep Thoughts forum never annoyed me either, because everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how inane. It really is all of that taken into context—and the context is religion. I would really like to deliver a serious beat down to anyone that places himself on a pulpit of a faith, and makes the religion seem worse or unworthy because of their representation.

I hate when people wear crosses, I hate the Jesus fish on cars, I hate the bumper stickers, and I dislike the people at work that try to convert people and then act all hypocritical. I am a horrible Christian and I do not represent my faith well. I have so many faults I can’t name them, but I love my faith. I am simply a bad example I believe, and that is why I would never ever represent my faith unless directly questioned. Pariah does this, and it annoys the piss out of me. That little bastard will talk shit, show trannie pics, sick photos, act like an ass, and then talk about how gay people are going to hell or whatever…fuck him. I know Catholics, and that guy is no Catholic. To try and represent and spread knowledge about your faith after being such a ridiculous example and overall ass is just ludicrous. To be such a horrible example and representative of your faith and then to declare his type of attitude towards others just makes me want give him a fight club style beat down. I just can’t tolerate that, and I find it infinitely more evil than any of the various things he attributes to sin in one of his sermons.

So, while it is cliché I’d still have to say Pariah.

8) Wow. That's the most hostile, and yet, rational, explanation I've heard so far. And, I've noticed Pariah tends to have that effect. But, I think you both need to get laid. Not with each other, though. ....anyway...what's the female scene like for you? Anyone special in your life? Wife? Girlfriend? Fuck-buddy? .......boyfriend?

There is no female scene for me right now. Some of that is self-imposed and some of it is me not putting myself out there. I haven’t had much luck in the realm of women, and the relationships generally don’t last long so I’m not a guy to get relationship advice from I suppose.

Klinton accused me recently of lingering on an ex of mine way too much, and I think I do that some. I’m sort of jaded I guess…a lot of that has to do with 2 ex’s cheating on me with my best friends at the time, and then my last serious girlfriend got pregnant—not by me. So, apparently I’m not good at the whole relationship thing. I’ve dated a bit, gotten some drunken sexors, and played the field somewhat, but I really am just not looking—I honestly like being alone right now. I’m trying to get my career path, fix my houses, etc and I just don’t want to be bothered with it really. That said I would welcome someone to come along that I couldn’t deny my attraction for and upend my life. I believe in love, I don’t know that there is pre-destined love or any of that stuff, but I do think it is quick and magnetic—there is something that draws you to a particular person, and you can deny it or accept it.

I do not want the American dream…I don’t want a suburban house that takes 30 years to pay off...I don’t want that indebted lifestyle. I think that just creates more problems than anything. I will not get into a relationship with a woman with kids. I know that sounds rude, but I have never seen it work for more than 10 years. I’m sure there are many examples of it working, but far and away I have seen it fail more often. I could get into the rational for it, but I don’t think I need to.

I want to find love, who doesn’t? I want the type of woman who doesn’t like Sex in the City, can put up with a couple of my hobbies-not all mind you even I don’t expect that, intelligent, someone that wants to find reasons to be happy instead of reasons to fight. I don’t have an ideal per se, but I like strong willed women (not dominating), and there has to be a physical attraction, obviously. There is no body type, hair color, etc that I have to have. I really am not a good person to ask this question to, hah.

9) And yet, you have a good answer. Give me another good one for this: Who is your hero/idol, and why?

My hero is my brother.

He is my half-brother technically. He is my best friend. He is 7 years older than me, but always treated me as an equal if that makes sense. I always looked up to him. He went to the Marines at 18, because he never had the advantages I had. He didn’t have a father pushing him like I did or providing the financial support (my Dad always helped, but his father died when he was 4). He came back from his stint in the military and he was pretty messed up emotionally. His life was a wreck to say the least. But one day he just got up started job hunting, and found a good job, started saving and boom his life was so much better within two years. He did everything on his own. There were some things going on I’m not going to discuss, but his life went from depression to having his life together within two years. Now he is married and has 2 kids, and is the best father I’ve ever seen. I always told him he’d make a great father, and he is. He is one of those dads that takes his kids to the park, plays, disciplines, works 60 hours a week (so his wife can stay at home), sleeps 4-5 hours a day...he is amazing. And he is the funniest person I know, he’s smart (too smart for what he does), and I don’t think I’d be the person I am without his guidance and his time as my role model. He is the best person I know. Typing this makes me wanna cry actually.

10) asks: Snake-Eyes or Batman?

Ok, back to more serious stuff…Snake Eyes or Batman?

Hah, The Batman didn’t train with the Arashikage ninja clan did he? So, Batman hasn’t trained with the best martial artists in the world as he claims. No, I think this is quite easy really it only depends if you mean beat in a fight or kill in a fight. Snake Eyes could easily kill Batman in a fight because he uses an Uzi and isn’t a crappy aim like Gotham street thugs. In a fight that wasn’t to the death Batman would probably win just because he is so intelligent, and so knowledgeable in various forms of martial arts and fighting styles. As we know Batman is also pretty good in a sword fight so that trumps Snake Eyes’ sword. Batman also has more gadgets than Snake Eyes that are meant to incapacitate a foe and not kill them. Batman is set up to incapacitate an enemy…Snake Eyes is set up to kill them. You can use the lame argument that Batman could get prep time to know his enemy as well, and knowing is half the battle. Snake Eyes does win the war of pets: Timber may be gone, but one of Timber’s grown pups could make doggie chow out of Ace, the Bat-Hound (sorry, Franta).

_{Post-Crisis Pig Iron: "A man who has no hat, takes no sh--!"}

11) What do you consider to be the greatest social problems in our nation today? What about the world? Why? Any ideas how you would improve the situation, given a chance?

Wheww, ask some hard questions why don’t you. Man, the US first.

• First, I would have to say the legacy of slavery, segregation, and racism is still too prevalent. It has many causes, which I won’t get into (and most of us know them), but I think it is mostly perpetuation of stereotypes and there are some people on both sides that just won’t let go. People like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton wouldn’t have a job if racial problems were cleaned up would they? Then again Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh types always come off as simpletons for their simple solutions to complex problems, and frankly come off with a racist undertone. I don’t think organizations like the KKK or any legacy groups of the Black Panthers hamper unity in any way really. I think most people realize that they are extremists. I think much of it does have to do with failed public school systems and bumbling welfare policies, and now there is a PC unwillingness to discuss the issues. It really is too complex an issue for me to discuss here, and I don’t claim to know the answers or all of the issues within the topic, but I think most of it still comes down to the average person, black and white, seeing each other as “others.”
  
• Second, I think drugs are still way too rampant in our culture. Alcohol, smokes, and weed are bad enough but the cycle never seems to end. Crack, meth, pills, Oxycontin, coke, and heroin—how are theses things still legitimate options for people? It is too rampant, and I honestly don’t know why people do it …it is a major problem.
  
• Third, open borders lead to open economic warfare, and possible terrorist doorways. I know people across the border depend on jobs for their livelihoods, but there should be other options. My solution is to close the border, but offer more work visas and many more applications for citizenship. My whole thinking is if you wanna be Mexican then stay in Mexico and don’t leech off of the US. If you want to be a US citizen then come on over we need the workers to help pay for our social security system and to strengthen our nation. We should allow many more legal immigrants to our country. Hey, I agree that the US basically stole the southwest from Mexico, but really I don’t think the US government is gonna give it back.
  
• Fourth, the federal government has gotten too big for its britches and really needs to be streamlined, and give more power back to the individual states. They have been bungling things for the past 40 years, and it’s only getting worse. As the divide between Republican and Democrat gets wider the problems will only get greater.
  
• The world: Africa is just a mess. The ex-colonial powers and Russia need to accept responsibility collectively and work to help things on that continent. Money, manpower, and diplomacy are all needed. The UN is proving they are a bunch of idiots and scumbags, because this problem should never have gotten to this point. I’d bypass the UN and just decide to help. A certain percent of each country’s GNP/GDP should be donated to the cause so everyone pays an equal percentage share yearly. Everyone needs to donate volunteers, troops, money, food, medicine, doctors, businessmen/economists, and anthropologist/sociologists. There will need to be governments toppled, leaders ousted, and borders redrawn probably, but there has to be a better way and life. Money isn’t going to solve the problem it will take unity of the nations that are most to blame.
  
• Fundamentalist Islam. How is a group of people and nations that want to exterminate entire races of people, and forcibly convert everyone to their religion not a problem? If they can change the world with a couple of planes think of what they can do with a couple of nukes. Everyone wants to dance around the issue and PC their way through, but honestly there is only one way to deal with the problem: kill them mercilessly and with such overwhelming force that those desiring peace will kill or hand over the fundamentalist clerics and terrorists themselves instead of harboring them. Superior violence is the only way to end that problem.
  
• China. Really, what isn’t there to be worried about?

12) Yeah, well, all very impressive. But, this outline for your next Presidential campaign has ignored one very important threat: Canada. Be wary.

Okay...enough politics...it's time for Comic books! (Yay!) What's the deal? What is it about comics that you love so much? What's the attraction? Favorite titles? Artists? Writers? Characters? Where does this hobby come from?

Wow, back to something I know about and shouldn’t get skewered for discussing honestly: Comic books. I love art and I love literature…Bamm! Comic books are a harmony of those two mediums like no other. Sure there were illuminated manuscripts in the medieval days, but really, four color, sequential storytelling of modern mythology and fantasy is so much better. My initiation into the world of comic books came from my brother. I used to look at and rip up his as a toddler. By the time I was five I was getting my parents to buy my own. My favorites at the time were Avengers, The Fantastic Four, Star Wars, the Micronauts, and the huge Treasury sized comics.

The first comic I remember reading and completely understanding was Marvel Treasury #11: the Fantastic Four. It had a reprint of “This Man, This Monster”. Even at that age it touched me, and I’ve loved comics since then. I also remember that my Brother and our friends used to draw our own comics from about the time I was five. They were funny, not serious and it was a blast. I was solidified at the age of 8 into the big boys club when I drew a classic comic featuring some borrowed heroes my brother created fighting Godzilla, and Godzilla was attacking Ronald Reagan in air force one. Godzilla ended up catching Ronnie and shitting on the plane. Hah, aahh 8 year olds.

Who knew Godzilla was a Dem?

I left comics for a couple of years (baseball cards-hey it was the mattingly, sandberg, boggs, gwynn era), with the occasional book purchase only in the early to mid 80s. I went into an actual comic book store one day and 2 books caught my eye Elementals #4 and Longshot #1…Boom, I’ve been deeply entrenched in weekly purchases of comics ever since I think this was in early 1985. This was about the same time as Crisis and Secret Wars so there were plenty of back issues for me to buy—not to mention the back issues of New Teen Titans I had to get. The comic book store had solidified my comic book catch-up needs, I mean I usually just bought them at grocery store or convenience stores before that, but a comic store was a deadly place apparently. This is where my Mom comes back in, every Saturday she would take me to the comic store and then I might go pick up some GI Joes at the department store, and we would go eat—it was a whole ritual. Eventually I quit buying GI Joes (for a while)…because they were toys, and I was turning teenager, but I never quit buying comics from that point on. I was never a fan of DC Comics, with the exception of Teen Titans and Captain Carrot, until Crisis. From then on I was mainly a DC guy. I love comics for the sake of the comics themselves, but I also remember all the goods times and bonding I had while collecting them. Comics have always been a part of my life.

I could go into why I like particular artists or characters (usually there is an event or something that I connect with), but instead I think I’ll just list them with maybe a little info. Marvel: The Avengers and the Fantastic Four, I was never a huge mutant fan with the exception of Beast and Scarlet Witch. I only got caught up on the Byrne/Claremont X-Men years later. The Avengers and FF are the only 2 Marvel Books I read anymore on a semi-regular basis. And they’ve been pretty god-awful for years. DC: I’ll try almost anything with DC, but I will forever love them mostly because of the post-crisis era: Perez’s Wonder Woman, Byrne’s Superman and Action, JLI, Flash, Suicide Squad—the list goes on.

My favorite writers were/are Grant Morrison, Alan Moore, Peter David, Roger Stern, David Michelinie, and Geoff Johns. My favorite artists were/are Arthur Adams, Michael Golden, Alex Toth, Kurt Schaffenberger, Alan Davis, Carlos Pacheco, George Perez, John Romita Jr, and Kevin Maguire. My favorite writer/artists are/were Mike Mignola, Stan Sakai, Bill Willingham, Darwyn Cooke, Masamune Shirow, Kusuke Fujishima, and John Byrne—notice I am using are/were, hah. Flash and Wonder Woman (blame Lynda Carter and Perez) are my two favorite DC Characters. My favorite Marvel characters are the Fantastic Four as a whole, Captain America, and the Scarlet Witch. There really are so many artists, writers, runs, arcs, and books I could get into that I like, but those are some of my favorites.

I don’t get that many new comics anymore, quite frankly, I am really into past stuff, but there is some damn fine stuff out there right now. I get most of the DC Archives and Marvel Masterworks, and I get back issues of Superman’s Girlfriend: Lois Lane whenever I can locate them (seriously, I love that book). I think some of the newer and continuing books that are just excellent are Usagi Yojimbo, Age of Bronze, Planetary, Invincible, Oh! My Goddess, Hellboy, and anything done by Grant Morrison or Darwyn Cooke. I think Darwyn Cooke is a perfect blend of old and new and I have loved every single book he has done. New Frontier, all of the Catwoman stuff, and his Spider-Man work has just blown me away.

You shouldn’t ask me about comics Pro….hah.

13) Hey, New Frontier kicked ass, and so does your taste in comics. Well done. Let's check your taste in women.

Sneaky Bunny. Harleykwin. Rob. Lor. Cowgirl Jack. Stareena. Rex. The RKMBS has a wide range of females to ogle over. Given the chance, which one would you like to share a pint with naked?

What a question. Well, so far I have never created a sock dedicated to any of them, but there are many fine wimmens here. What was the question? This will come off as pandering, but I like (mostly) all of them for different reasons.

Harley is smart, professional, funny, and hot—plus she reads comics.

Sneaky is funny as shit, hot, and drinks—plus she reads comics.

Uschi is smart, cute, has an enormous rack, funny, fun, and has something mysterious in her pants—plus she reads comics.

Lor is hot, seems loyal, funny—plus she plays video games.

Stareena is, hmmm, if you don’t have anything nice to say…

Butter is old school—hall of fame, rack her, I can honestly say I haven’t talked to her much though…so I don’t really know her—she’s hot though.

Cowgirl Jack, hmmm, what’s not to like? She’s hot, racktacular, smart, talented and she reads comics and plays video games, but I don’t really talk to her or know her….and I wouldn’t want to upset any of the guys like I dunno, Grimm or Chewy—for instance.

Ha!

So, the answer here is it would be easy to say CJ if I knew her but I don’t. Princess Elisa, hah…if she would actually drink some pints I might say her, but she wouldn’t so I won’t. Think of the bonuses to sharing a few pints. She would get easily drunk, and I could finally find out the answer to the question that is on everyone’s mind...hahahaha, But no, PE, would be too much of a challenge anyway—minus copious amounts of beer.

So, I guess I’d say a Sneaky/Uschi 3 way full of toys, heaping amounts of Astroglide, glow in the dark condoms, swings, dominatrix gear, cuffs, blindfolds, Schmirnoff, Bacardi, Jager, beer, a black light, assorted adult beverages, bongs, poles, pool sticks, pool tables, costumes, pizza, various demented acts of sexors, swings, feathers, circus animals, a 6 disc CD player on random play, a magic 8 ball, quesadillas, Uschi having Sneaky, Sneaky having Piggie, Piggie having Sneaky, Uschi having Piggie, Sneaky having Uschi, and Piggie having Uschi.

And by god, if that doesn’t make you quit reading this interview nothing will.

So, I guess that’s my answer.

14) Dude, that should be your new sig. Seriously. That last paragraph should be quoted for many years to come on these boards. Bless you.

Now, to swing to the other end of the spectrum: It is said that 'God is watching us'. If so, which one, if any, watches you?

What a wonderful segue into a discussion of religion—only at the RKMBS, folks.

I wouldn’t normally talk about this (going back to the Pariah discussion), but I was asked. So, here it is. I definitely think that I am a horrible Christian. I claim no denomination, but I do believe in the Christian/Hebrew Bible. I think God is very real, and I think Jesus Christ is very real. I think the Sermon on the Mount and the Beatitudes from Matthew, and the original Ten Commandments are the only things you need to follow to have a good life. I try to live my life by these ideals. I don’t always succeed and I knowingly sin everyday, but that is the standard I hold myself too—I’m just not hypocritical about it. I don’t expect any eternal rewards because of my current behavior, but I think there is an afterlife. I don’t think people will be angels or anything, but there will be a heavenly place where those of the spirit will have dominion. I don’t think that the world will end, but there will be an apocalypse at some time in the future—probably sooner than I think.

I think we are all sinners, and we all have faults. I think sex out of marriage is a sin, I think homosexuality is a sin, I think drinking to drunkenness is a sin; I think being selfish is sin, etc. There are so many sins that most people take them for granted they just focus on some. People like to focus on homosexuality and abortion, because they are easily categorized and labeled. They don’t really look at themselves though. Why would anyone think someone else’s sin is worse than their own—I don’t get it? I think trying to forgive people, understand people, have compassion for people, and love people is nobler than protesting an abortion clinic. I’m not saying there aren’t issues that can be discussed or laws that don’t need to be changed. Look, take abortion for example. Abortion is legal, and God says to render unto Caesar. We live a secular nation now and we have to allow the govt to do as it chooses and votes, allow for court decisions, and what the people vote to do. A person should try to change a law if they don’t like it, because it could possibly be voted on--by the people, but I think they are so many other things out there to worry about. Why not focus on the Pedophilia that is running rampant? Why not focus on the corrupt politicians? Why not focus on trying to make criminal sentencing stricter? Why not focus on yourself and your own family and friends? I think people can throw all the stones they want, but it won’t change anything or make the world a better place.

I believe because I have faith. Validated IMO by study, things I have seen and felt in my life, and the lives of others. I think a person’s faith should be an important part of their life—if not the most important. But unless you are a good witness and a good example I think you should keep it to yourself unless asked. Make sure your soul is OK before you try to fix things out of your control.

15) Fair enough and well spoken. Who is the hottest celebrity female out there?

Hah, check my location—it’s been the same for years.


Salma Hayek—plain and simple.

Back in the day, and pretty much still, I thought Lynda carter was/is just gorgeous. Lynda was the reason I discovered that I had testosterone I think. I also had a huge thing for Jane Seymour before the Dr Quinn period…she was amazingly beautiful—absolutely stunning. I think Jessica Alba is very hot with dark hair, but I really hate the highlighted blonde hair. Second to Salma is probably Gretchen Mol—whewww.


Gretchen Mol makes me catatonic...

...and I think I own all of her movies. But Salma is Salma…smoldering and oozing sex appeal.

16) Beer battle! You versus Grimm: Who's sleeping under the table by the end?

We will find out in 2006—stay tuned. You said beer battle. If you added shots I would give it to Grimm, but strictly beer I’ll give him a run for his money. As I said we’ll find out. I’m not going to claim any premature victory, but I will arrive ready and willing to do gloriousss battle, or drink glorious bottles. I will be a Whooayyaaahhh of Beeeeerrrrr.

17) Sounds like you're already there. Anyway, here's a paragraph for you to rant. Your choice of subjects: Marvel's 'House of M', or, DC's 'Infinite Crisis'. Annnnnnd....GO!

I liked House of M. That said it took 7 or 8 issues to tell 3 issues worth of story…Benndddiiissssss!!! Anything that gets rid of hundreds of mutants can’t be all bad. Bendis didn’t kill Wanda either, but he did depower her; but Wanda is also an accomplished sorceress so she’ll be back, and as a true witch. Infinite Crisis is pure, unadulterated fanboy wank. It is fun to read and I like many things they are doing with this book. Your average or new reader might have next to no idea what is going on though...hah. If Infinite Crisis even partly lives up to its hype I think infinite Crisis will be one of the best things to happen to DC in a long time. I have hope that it will clear up all the things that went wrong after the original Crisis. I think it will also give direction to many characters that have had a muddled voice—like Wonder Woman, Batman, and Superman. I’m not sold on the entire One Year Later thing and 52 though. There have also been too many “unofficial” tie-ins as I expected. So many things are happening I dropped almost every DC title I get though. I’ll come back when the OYL thing happens—it seems like a waste of time now. I really, really, really hope they finally graduate some ex-Titans like Nightwing, or something truly lasting happens. If they simply kill a couple of characters, tell a story, and then just go on in 2007 I will be mightily disturbed. And give Gail Simone a high profile book already, mannnnn.

18) Yeah, on hear you on Nightwing. He should have graduated into the big League years ago. Anyway, what is your favorite movie of all time? Favorite book?

Waahhhh. One movie? One? I have guilty pleasure movies like Flash Gordon, geeky loves like Superman and Empire Strikes Back, and comedies I can watch endlessly like Groundhog Day. My favorite, single, movie? I guess I would have to say My Man Godfrey. William Powell is one of the most underrated actors of any generation IMO. The 1936 version of this film is absolutely frenetic and it’s so fast paced you can barely keep up. Carole Lombard is fabulous as is Powell. Alice Brady is unbelievably hilarious. The jokes, gags, and one-liners are non-stop. All that said this movie still has a social message that is timeless. I can watch it over and over and I never get tired of it. If I am ever having a bad day I can always put this movie in and forget about everything. If you haven’t seen it I highly recommend it. There are better movies, of course, but it is my favorite since I have to choose.

My favorite book? That one is easy (not counting the Bible) it is The Canterbury Tales, by Geoffrey Chaucer. Medieval literature was what I studied at Ohio State. I also studied medieval manuscripts, and other related fields. I can speak Middle English, even though I’m out of practice, and while I like many of Chaucer’s works and the works of Spenser this is my favorite. Chaucer doesn’t get the praise the Elizabethan era Shakespeare does, but Chaucer basically created the English language as we know it. He was a genius, and the Canterbury Tales was such a gigantic undertaking it really wasn’t finished-per se. It has action, morality, bawdiness, humor, social commentary, religion and religious critique, and frankly it was a work centuries ahead of its time. Each Tale or Fragment follows a personalized story from a member of a pilgrimage—each one is different and unique and has an individual tone. It is just a beautiful piece of Narrative Literature, and not only is it my favorite I think it is arguably the greatest and most important, surely to the English language.

19) See, I'm playing the Beowulf card here. Bluddvye trumps any mancy-nancy monks. So there. Now, for a very important question:

Why do you come here? Any favorite posters you wish to mention?

Blame, Dave Stewart, the poo eater that he is. I was at the DC boreds for awhile, and I think it was Dave that invited me to Athanon. Several Natureboyz (that do not exist) and “we blew it ups” later I landed at Kampy headquarters. I had some damn good times in a two year period with my webtv, hah...yes, I had a webtv. It took me 10 minutes to post anything at the RKMBS, really. So, I didn’t hang here often while I had a webtv. I eventually got a PC and started posting regularly, but I mostly just lingered for the first year or so because it took too long to post…I could read just not post which spared many of you some serious inane posting pain. Athanon blew up, I couldn’t go to Rob’s except to gaze and read threads, and I rarely saw people at the DC boreds, but I eventually got a PC, and here I am like a permanent fixture. I missed chatting with guys like Franta, LLance, Theo, Basti, Dave, HK, etc...I missed the comedic stylings of BSAMS and Mxy while I was on a webtv fried/no PC hiatus, but I eventually found my way back here. Much to your dismay I’m sure. I come here to recapture any of the hilarity that surrounded those days when I first came online, God, it was funny. This place is a great place to vent, you can talk about serious stuff, but honestly there are those occasional bits of comedic genius that keep you coming back.

Sure I guess I’ll mention some people. Rob (grumble, return my modship you jerk), Franta, LLance, Theo, Basti, BSAMS, Mxy, HK, Nowhereman (cunt that he is)….Animalman, GayLA, Disco Steve, Speedy, the Smackhead , Batwoman, and Carrina Winters, wait was this people I like, alts, or just people you wanted me to mention? I really have to thank Kurt Angle though, whooooo, thanks, Kurt.

Favorite posters? Most of the above mentioned deserve some sort of hall of fame recognition and I would add First Amongst Daves and his various alts. I have come to enjoy Jaburg (or BSAMS Lite), Grimm, Doc, PJP, Joe, Sneaky, Uschi, Klinton, TK (get on those pics, now), Wednesday...I dunno, there are plenty of choices really. There are still many people that I don’t really know, or don’t know well. I would say Pro, but I wouldn’t wanna be accused of anything, and I’m sure I forgot someone.

Oh, yeah I’d also like to mention everyone on Rue’s Gay List:

So Nitpicking He'd Nitpick the Merits Of Boobies List:
1) Animalman

Bunny Fucker List:
1) Chris Oakley
2) Zod

B.A. In Bunny Luvin' List:
1) Chris Oakley
2) Zod

So Fucking Gay He Unleashes Gaydiation:
1) Rob Kamphausen
2) Winged Creature
_{Gaydiation copyright @ thedoctor}

Gay List:
1) Pariah
2) MisterJLA
3) Ultimate Jaburg 53
4) PJP
5) Kristogar Velo
6) Wednesday
7) G-Man

So Fucking Annoying He Could Be Rex List:
1) Glacier 16
2) r3x29yz4a

Very, Gay List:
1) Nowhereman
2) Stupid Dogg

Fellatio Rex List:
1) Rex
2) Rexstardust
3) Brian J..whatever

Chris Oakley, TK-069, And Rob Love Her, But She's Still A Lesbian List:
1) Sneaky Bunny

So Lesbian Even Her Family Calls Her "Butch" List:
1) Uschi

20) In the legendary novels The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, author Douglas Adams states the answer to life, the universe, and everything is, simply, "42". What's your answer?

I don’t think there is an answer. I do think that if a person is lucky enough to have a few years of living, and maybe a death bed that one could look back on their life and smile--knowing they led a good life, didn’t hurt anyone, had a few laughs and good times, had a few moments of happiness, and tried to help a few people along the way. I think trying to live your life the best way you know how is really all you need.

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Bravo Sir Pig! Bravo!

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Prometheus said:
Finally. Here we are again, with a very special Christmas present to you all. Especially Pariah.

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I hate when people wear crosses, I hate the Jesus fish on cars, I hate the bumper stickers, and I dislike the people at work that try to convert people and then act all hypocritical. I am a horrible Christian and I do not represent my faith well. I have so many faults I can’t name them, but I love my faith. I am simply a bad example I believe, and that is why I would never ever represent my faith unless directly questioned. Pariah does this, and it annoys the piss out of me. That little bastard will talk shit, show trannie pics, sick photos, act like an ass, and then talk about how gay people are going to hell or whatever…fuck him. I know Catholics, and that guy is no Catholic. To try and represent and spread knowledge about your faith after being such a ridiculous example and overall ass is just ludicrous. To be such a horrible example and representative of your faith and then to declare his type of attitude towards others just makes me want give him a fight club style beat down. I just can’t tolerate that, and I find it infinitely more evil than any of the various things he attributes to sin in one of his sermons.

So, while it is cliché I’d still have to say Pariah.

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sneaky bunny said:
figure it as if you were to watch the complete series of mash four times.

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Pigsy said: and I could finally find out the answer to the question that is on everyone’s mind.

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Ask away......you know I'll answer anything honestly! As for me on alcohol....heh scary thought :P

Anyway, have an awesome Christmas, David Wayne Barker! I stand amazed once again

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sneaky bunny said:
Hurm, Harley meet me in Texas, we have work to do.

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Nowhereman said:
Sorry,who's interview was this again?

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Joe Mama said:
This interview vaulted Pig Iron high into my list of "posters I'd love to meet and hang out with". Great interview, both of you. A coupl'a questions for Pig Iron:

Given your love of Stormtrooper collectibles and all things Stormtrooper...ish, have you considered joining the 501st Legion? I saw them at Dragon*Con and have to admit how impressed I was.

HeroesCon or Dragon*Con?

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harleykwin said:

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sneaky bunny said:
Hurm, Harley meet me in Texas, we have work to do.

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Name the time and place...I'll bring alcohol...

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PrincessElisa said:
Hey no corruption unless Pigsy comes along :P

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Joe Mama said:

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harleykwin said:

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sneaky bunny said:
Hurm, Harley meet me in Texas, we have work to do.

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Name the time and place...I'll bring alcohol...

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I'll fund this as long as I get a DVD copy of the wonderful goings-on...minus PIg Iron.

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harleykwin said:

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Joe Mama said:

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harleykwin said:

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sneaky bunny said:
Hurm, Harley meet me in Texas, we have work to do.

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Name the time and place...I'll bring alcohol...

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I'll fund this as long as I get a DVD copy of the wonderful goings-on...minus PIg Iron.

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Sweet! Bunny, we just got ourselves a free trip to Texas!

(Though, how I'm getting the handcuffs through airport security, I don't know...)

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...Favorite posters? Most of the above mentioned deserve some sort of hall of fame recognition and I would add First Amongst Daves and his various alts. I have come to enjoy Jaburg (or BSAMS Lite), Grimm, Doc, PJP, Joe, Sneaky, Uschi, Klinton, TK (get on those pics, now), Wednesday...I dunno, there are plenty of choices really. There are still many people that I don’t really know, or don’t know well. I would say Pro, but I wouldn’t wanna be accused of anything, and I’m sure I forgot someone...

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PrincessElisa said:
Hey, he forgot me too Sams

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PrincessElisa said:
Hey, he forgot me too Sams

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