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Posts: 342
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Tonight, two of the Dark Lords collide as Darth takes on Pig Iron in a Brimstone Match!
Plus, the Lone She Wolf, Lor defends the Women's Booby Title in a three way dance against Meeko and Harleykwin!
also round two of the T.I.T.s!
Let's get ready for some Havoc!
PenWing / Sammitch (89%, 8 Votes)
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Los Diablos (11%, 1 Votes)
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Team OC (56%, 5 Votes)
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Legbreakerererers 4 Hire (44%, 4 Votes)
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Tuesday Night Rockers (44%, 4 Votes)
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Chewy Walrus / Killconey (56%, 5 Votes)
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Allied Powers (56%, 5 Votes)
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Homeland Security (44%, 4 Votes)
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Lor (C) (44%, 4 Votes)
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Meeko (22%, 2 Votes)
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Harleykwin (33%, 3 Votes)
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Darth (44%, 4 Votes)
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Pig Iron (56%, 5 Votes)
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I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,144
3000+ posts
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3000+ posts
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,144 |
*Backstage...
B: Dis is Bukake, Havoc numbah one annoncah! With me is a foorius Lor, who will be defending the Boobie Belt tonight agianst Meeko and Harleykwin! Lor, how do you prepair to face a former champion and a-
*Lor grabs the mic.*
Lor: Cheap immitation? It's very simple, Bookaki. I've tried playing nice. I've tried "teaming" with Meeko to fight off these Dark Whores. But play time is over, hun! Tonight, the only person getting the Last Laugh, will be me!
*With a big evil grin Lor shoves the mic into Bukaki's mouth, the mic makes a loud screaching and then Lor storms off down the hall.*
B: (Mumbling) Dish ish Moockake, Haboc numbah one annonachah, weporting!
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 507
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"Turning Japanese" plays over the PA as Nuriko enters the ring, wearing a black kimono with a red sash. She steps to the center of the ring and takes the mic.
I have not been around lately, because my old injury has bothered me. But after weeks of rehab and training, I'm back, and I want the Women's Boobie Belt!
I'm ready to take on whoever stands between me and the championship! Come and get me, if you dare!
Nuriko takes a promo poster of Lor out of her kimono, draws a samurai sword, and hacks the poster in half. Then she leaves the ring, to the tune of "Turning Japanese" again.
Bringing a little order to message boards everywhere!
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Joined: Oct 2004
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300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Ecstasy of Gold plays over the Cheesedome PA speakers as Louie Bastardo hits the ring with mic in hand;directly behind him,we can see the Louie's Lounge set with a Mexican flag hanging in one corner, an Alice in Chains poster in another, and an Outcasts T-shirt draped over the bar. Beaming,he starts to address the crowd.
LB:Ladies and gentlemen,welcome to a very special post-Randy Rumble edition of "Louie's Lounge"! Tonight,I'm honored to have as my guests two men who for a long time were valued parts of the Bastardo Family and,last Sunday,became the new RDCW world tag team champions!Give it up for Chris Oakley and the Giant Luchadore El Superbeasto,a.k.a. the Outcasts!
Chris and Superbeasto,each carrying one of the RDCW world tag team belts,walk down the aisle to a decidedly mixed reception from the fans;Louie greets his former proteges with a fond embrace,then invites them to sit in the chairs next to his.
LB:Thanks for stopping by,fellas.(glances briefly at a 3X5 card in his hand)Now,champs,before we start with the Q and A,I understand Chris has an announcement to make.(hands Chris the mic)
Chris turns to Louie.
CHRIS:That I do, Louie. (holds up a clipboard) I've got here in my hand an open contract for any tag team in RDCW,RDLL,or Rob's Damn Puroresu to face me and the Giant Luchadore for the RDCW world tag team titles on next week's Havoc!
LB:Well, that's really something, Chris. Tell me now, how does it feel for you and El Superbeasto, winning the belts in only your second match together as a team? Many teams take a long time to get to the top, yet you two jumped right in and scooped up the titles, in a handicap match against three guys, no less. What are your thoughts and feelings about that?
CHRIS:Greatest night of my life, Louie! And I'm sure the Giant Luchadore feels the same way, right, compadre?(hi-fives Superbeasto)
ES:Si, amigo! Is always being a pleasure to squash maricones like the Tuesday Night Rockers. But all three of them at once? And to win the tag titles, also? Is being like late Christmas!
LB:Well, I think you guys should know that there are rumors of a team out there already gunning for you both. Apparently, they call themselves Team OC and have established quite a violent reputation overseas. Are you worried about the possible challenge of Team OC?
Chris snorts in disdain at the question.
CHRIS:Worried? Screw that! They want to try and take these belts, I say bring 'em on!
ES:The Outcasts rule the tag team division in the RDCW now! No one can stop us! We are going to hold belts a long time, ese!
LB:Well, I see you're very confident right now. What are your plans for the future? You're still involved in the T.I.T.s. How do you feel about the T.I.T.s, boys?
ES: We are enjoying the T.I.T.s very much!
CHRIS:Yes indeed. We've already got one championship to our credit, and we can't wait to add anoth--
At this moment, the arena is filled with the sounds of Powerman 5000, as three very familiar figures emerge on the rampway. Wearing black t-shirts emblazoned with the Team OC logo, and camo pants, they are Brother Joe OC, Faarooq OC, and Christine OC: Team OC! The Outcasts and Louie Bastardo are stunned!
Joe OC:Well, well, well. Look who's back! I guess you thought you'd gotten rid of us, didn't you? What with all your legal actions to prevent us from using your name and all.
Faarooq OC:We've sat back and watched you, Chris. Hoping you would self-destruct on your own. But when you won those tag belts, we couldn't resist the opportunity to beat you down and take them for ourselves!
Joe OC:So we've accepted your open challenge for next week! And we want. . .a tables match!
Christine OC:Got wood, Chris? I do!
A collective "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew" can be heard from the fans in the Cheesedome. Not noticing or caring about this,Chris picks up the mic and gives Team OC his best 'be careful what you wish for' stare.
CHRIS:A tables match, huh? Suits me perfectly...because nothing would make me and the Giant Luchadore happier than to destroy the three of you in one fell swoop.I'm tired of you guys trying to mooch off my good name,and next week on Havoc the Outcasts are putting a stop to it permanently!
ES(raising his fist):Viva Los Outcasts!
The Outcasts and Team OC glare at each other as the camera fades to a promo for No Way Out of the Closet.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Camera cuts to MisterJLA, who is staring at a laptop monitor...
Quote:
JLA: Damn...that G-man is one Hell of a RKMB moderator. Look at how he moves posts! Look at how he manages to get under the skin of his enemies...and Rob lets him do it! Brilliant, simply brilliant!
What he has done for the Deep Thoughts Forum, I simply must do for The Arcade Room!
G-man: Thank you for noticing my efforts, JLA.
A shocked MisterJLA turns around to see G-man and wannabuyamonkey standing in his locker room. Both are wearing black suits with black glasses.
Quote:
JLA: How long have you been listening to me?
G-man: We're Homeland Security, JLA. We've been listening for longer than you can imagine.
JLA: 
G-man: Karl sends his regards. He also wants to know why you weren't at the weekly neocon conspiracy meeting.
JLA: I...uh...had a flat tire. I couldn't make it.
wbam: Thayt's funnie, because are Intel sayz you were at "strippers and Waffles" that knight, for four hours!
JLA: 
G-man: We're very disappointed in you, JLA. But what really disappoints us, is that when you had the chance, you chose to team with a foreigner, instead of joining us!
JLA: He's not a foreigner! He's British!
wbam: ...
G-man: Exactly! And that's where both he, and your British butler Jeeves are going: back to Great Britain!
The G-man pulls two documents out of his suit coat...
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The G-man: That's right, back to Great Britain they go! As you can see, in my hand I'm holding two expired visas, and guess whom they belong to?
JLA: They can't belong to Jeeves and Howdy.
wbam: How can you be so sertain?
JLA: They use MasterCard, dude.
The G-Man: OK, that was bad. Even for you.
JLA: 
The G-man: Tonight, in the tournament, you will have to go it alone...against both of us! Because Captain Howdy, if you are listening: YOU'RE DEPORTED!
JLA: Hang on a second, G-man, let's make a deal. Let me think...I agree to face both of you, but it will still be a tag match. I won't fight two men at once. If I win, Howdy and Jeeves get their visas renewed indefinitely.
The G-man: And if we win?
JLA: Howdy and I, together known as The Allied Powers: the longest reigning RDCW World Tag Team Champions of All Time...
JLA looks into the camera and smiles...
Quote:
JLA: As I was saying, as the...former... champions, we have the right to a rematch for the Championships at any time, with any stipulation. If we lose, Howdy and Jeeves get deported, and you, Team GOP
wbam: Homeland Security!
JLA: You, Homeland Security, get our title shot. We forfeit out right to the rematch, and it becomes yours. What do you say?
Just then, The G-man's cell phone rings.
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The G-man: You'll have to excuse me for a moment.
The G-man answers...
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The G-man: Yes, Mr. Rove. Yes, Mr. Rove. I will sir. Yes, Mr. Rove. At once, sir.
The G-man nods at JLA.
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G-man: We accept your conditions. *We* will see *you* in the ring.
JLA: How did he hear our entire conversation?
The G-man: We are on live T.V. 
Besides, we're Homeland Security. We hear...everything.
Homeland Security exits JLA's locker room, leaving JLA looking over his shoulder...
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
T.I.T.s Matches
PenWing and Captain Sammitch vs. Los Diablos
Los Diablos entered the arena first to heavy booes from the fans. Senor Veneno and El Asesino promise to decimate the SDC members and take the T.I.T.s trophy back to the RDLL in Mexico!
"Let's Get It Started" blasted over the speakers and the Cheesedome witnessed the reunion of the former tag team champions Captain Sammitch and PenWing. As the two SDC members entered the ring and prepared to square off.
"TNT" started to play as Chewy Walrus and Killconey made their way out onto the ramp.
Monroe: What are Chewy and Killconey doing here? They have a match to prepare for later!
Louie: It looks like they still don't trust PenWing, and PenWing looks a little upset about their appearance. This could be good!
*Chewy and Killconey stood watching as PenWing turned to Sammitch and the two quietly spoke for a moment.
Monroe: I don't think Sammitch knew that Chewy was coming out here either.
*Sammitch pat PenWing on the shoulder and told him to the go the corner so he could start the match. From that point on, it looked like a replay from days past as the SDC founders showed Los Diablos and everyone else in the Cheesedome why they were once the tag team champions. Sammitch and PenWing were able to use quick tags to isolate each member of Los Diablos at various moments in the match, and finished things off with a monstrous Sudden Death Connection which brought the crowd to their feet.
*After the match, PenWing looked over to where Chewy and Killconey stood, but they had slipped off into the back during the count.
Monroe: It looks like Chewy doesn't care if the Captain trusts PenWing. How will this play out as the T.I.T.s goes on?
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
T.I.T.s Matches
Team OC vs. Legbreakererses 4 Hire
"Sabotage" played out as the Legbreakerererses made their return to the CheeseDome.
Monroe: A team with a lot of experience here!
Bastardo: That's right! And their time under my tutelage has only made them better!
Monroe: But can they defeat their opponents tonight?
Christine OC lead Team OC down to ringside as their Powerman 5000 theme music blared. The Legbreakererses jumped Team OC as they made their way into the ring and a full scale brawl erupted! Lothar rang the bell and the match was underway!
Using underhanded tactics and several illegal double teams, the Legbreakerererses took control of the match! Stupid Doog held Faarooq OC in a nerve hold, as Faarooq fought to stay conscious!
Christine OC climbed up onto the ring apron and called for Doog's attention. As Doog turned towards her, she turned around and bent over, flashing her rear. As Doog and the fans turned away in disgust, Faarooq hit a low blow and followed up with a hot tag to Joe OC!
Joe hit the ring and cleaned house on the Legbreakererses as Faarooq recovered and the two hit the OC Drop on Doog for the pin! Team OC celebrated their victory!
But the Outcasts hit the ring and nailed them with the World Tag Titles, leaving them lying in their own blood.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
T.I.T.s Matches
Chewy Walrus and Killconey vs. Tuesday Night Rockers
"TNT" played again as Chewy Walrus and Killconey hit the ring for their match. The Tuesday Night Rockers then made their way down, seemingly unfazed by their loss of the tag titles as James Fantastic exuberantly made their usual ring introduction to the delight of the fans!
It was then that PenWing came out onto the rampway, much as Chewy and Killconey did earlier. Sammitch soon followed. PenWing and Sammitch spoke quietly to each other during the match.
Monroe: What's going on now?
Bastardo: Maybe they're just scouting. They want to get a look at the competition!
Chewy and Big T started out with a test of strength that went back and forth before Fantastic tagged in and picked up the pace with his high flying moves. Killconey came in next and the two went back and forth bringing the fans to their feet in appreciation!
Monroe: This is a classic encounter!
Bastardo: I have to admit, I'm not a fan of either of these teams, but they are putting on a helluva show!
Fantastic went for a flying bodypress off the top, but Chewy hit a midair Walrus Tusk slamming him into the mat and getting the pinfall! After the match, Chewy helped Fantastic up as the two teams shook hands.
Monroe: What a match! What a show of sportsmanship from both sides!
Bastardo: Yeah, yeah, get on with it!
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,236 Likes: 15 |
Camera once again cuts to the "IV" locker room.
MisterJLA is pacing around, when Joe Mama walks in...
Quote:
Joe Mama: Hey, I saw what happened! Too bad about Howdy not being able to compete. I'd be willing to take his spot, and so would Mid-Nite, but the contract was signed by "The Allied Powers", and not by "The IV". Looks like you'll have to go it alone inside the ring tonight.
JLA: Yeah...
Joe Mama: But, the contract didn't have any provisions about me being at ringside!
JLA:  Yeah...?
Joe Mama: Look, we are The IV! The greatest, most elite collection of RDCW talent ever, I mean EVAR! I'm not going to let a teammate down! I'll be there to watch your back.
JLA:  Yeah!
Just then, Rob's Damn Killer Instinct Rip Off Theme Music is heard faintly in the background...
Quote:
Joe Mama: You're...check that, we're up! Let's go!
JM: And by the way, that was nice how you made the deal that may allow Howdy and Jeeves to stay here in the U.S. But to offer up your guaranteed Tag Title shot?
JLA: It wasn't much of an offer. If I lose tonight, they get deported anyway. No sense in having a guaranteed Tag Title match if my partner is deported out of the country!
JM: You never know, maybe the RDCW will have a PPV in Great Britain someday. You could go for the belts over there!
JLA: Uh...I don't know if they'd let me in the country.
JM: Why is that?
JLA: Well, I sort of sent Hannah Harper some fan letters that creeped her out a bit. I received an official letter about stalking, and me not coming within a thousand meters of her or something. I'm more or less forbidden from setting foot in the whole country...sort of.
JM: Whoa.
JLA: Eh, what are you going to do? Anyway, we really need this win tonight. If we lose Howdy, we would have to change our name! With you reduced to a manager's role, we'd be down to 2 1/2 members! That just doesn't sound right, you know?
<mock announcer's voice>"Introducing MisterJLA, Doc. Mid-Nite, and their part time manager sometimes when he feels like it, Joe Mama! Together, they are the 2 and 1/2!"</mock announcer's voice>
Can you imagine James White saying that? I can. That would be silly. Also...
JM: Uh, let's not waste all of our energy talking! We've got a match to win! Win it for Howdy!
JLA: And Jeeves!
JM: Whatever.
JLA makes his way to the ring, where Homeland Security is already waiting.
Recap to follow, which features JLA winning, of course!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Women's Booby Title
3 Way Dance
Lor (C) vs. Meeko vs. Harleykwin
Lor defeated both challengers by hitting her patented Punch & Judy move on each of them in succession! Following the match, Nuriko again appeared, challenging Lor and waving around her katana.
But then Princess Elisa appeared on the rampway with Rev. Willie and declared that she should have the next shot at Lor! The two engaged in a brawl as security pulled the Hotties apart.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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OP
300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Brimstone Match
Darth vs. Pig Iron
Hot coals are placed in a pile in the center of the ring. They are smoking as flames can be seen beneath them.
Sirens blared throughout the CheeseDome as the new Hardcore Porn Champion, Pig Iron, entered the arena along with Heidi Schwarz.
Monroe: Well, he fooled us all at last week's Rumble!
Bastardo: He certainly did! I wonder what Darth is thinking.
Monroe: Pig Iron accused Darth of being the weak link in the Dark Lords! Darth responded by accusing Pig Iron of being afraid. He said he would burn the fear right out of Pig Iron in this match!
Then the CheeseDome goes dark as Darth enters the arena, rising up from below the stage. Chesty LeRou accompanies him, as always. Darth makes his way down to ringside as Pig Iron starts trash talking him and holding up the Hardcore Porn belt.
Monroe: He's showing off that belt. Darth said Piggie couldn't win it.
Bastardo: Pig Iron proved him wrong there!
Pig Iron hands off the belt to Schwarz and steps up into Darth's face. Darth is fuming quietly. Piggie hauls off and slaps Darth right in the face! Darth angrily grabs PI by the throat and picks him up in a chokehold!
He tosses PI backfirst into the ring post and goes for a running boot, but PI drops down. Darth narrowly avoids hitting the post and turns as PI tries for a clothesline, but Darth hits an armdrag, sending him into the ringsteps!
Monroe: The stairs go flying!
Bastardo: Both of these men have spent time fighting in the hardcore division, Monroe! This match is gonna get real ugly, real quick!
Darth picks PI up and positions him on the ring apron and goes for a legdrop off of the apron! PI is stunned and rolls over as Darth prepares to inflict more punishment!
Schwarz tries to attack Darth from behind with her nightstick, but it has no effect! Darth glares at the ex-cop, but before he can do anything, Chesty grabs Schwarz by the hair and the two start going at it!
Monroe: CATFIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!
Bastardo: YESSSS!!!!!
Chesty and Schwarz fight around the ring as the two struggle for control. Schwarz takes a shot at Chesty with the nightstick, but Chesty ducks and spits Hellfire into Schwarz' face!
Monroe: Hellfire!!!
Darth goes for a running shoulderblock, but PI steps aside, as Darth smashes into the guardrail! PI dives off of the ring apron, hitting a flying Pig on the Wing, sending both men over and into the crowd! They land direcly on the lap of an old woman in the front row!
Monroe: It's take a wrestler home with you day here in RDCW!
Bastardo: 
Chesty has now handcuffed Schwarz's arms around one of the ringposts, preventing her from further interfering. Chesty starts pounding on the mat, attempting to rally Darth.
Darth and PI brawl back around the ring as both men attempt to force the other into the bed of hot coals! The smoke is filling up the CheeseDome as it becomes difficult for people to breathe!
Monroe: I wish Rob would get us a new air vent!
Bastardo: That cheapskate? We'll be lucky if he springs for pyro next week!
Darth goes for a Sithspawn, but PI escapes and hits an elbow to the gut, causing Darth to inhale a large amount of smoke. Darth staggers for a bit, but PI goes for a Pork U, dropping Darth directly onto the pile of coals!
The bell rings, as Lothar signifies Pig Iron has won the match! Darth quickly rolls off of the coals as Chesty and several EMTs check on his condition!
Grimm's music begins to play as he walks out onto the rampway with a mic.
Grimm: Are you two done now? Are you finished? Because I've had just about enough of all of this! You are going to cooperate with each other if it kills you! That's why I've entered the two of you as a tag team in next week's T.I.T.s matches!
Monroe: Oh my!
Bastardo: These two guys just tried to kill each other! Now they have to work together? They won't be able to do it!
Monroe: We'll find out next week, Louie! Fans, we'll see you then! Goodnight!
I make stars, baby!
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