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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 9,769
cookie monster 7500+ posts
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OP
cookie monster 7500+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 9,769 |
Yeah, yeah, I know we get a bad rap, but this one was brilliant. Got it in an e-mail and it made me giggle...
Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in
Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be
granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being
offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which
took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to
the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter):"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's
loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title.
While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented
the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
(Actual Letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been
received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194
years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated
person in this country, particularly those working in the property area,
would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in
1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification
of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership
was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from
Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about
titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope
before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as
I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and
God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world
called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His
origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it
AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now,
may we have our loan?"
He got the loan.
 Dear, sweet Harley Kwink...I'm madly in love with you. Marry me! We can go to Canadia. Or Boston or something. It'll be grand...You know the cookies are a given. They are ALWAYS a given. You could dump me tomorrow and you'd still get the cookies. Boston..shit, wherever dyke weddings were legalized. And where better to rub their little piggie noses in how bad they suck than right on their doorstep? What are they gonna do? Be jealous of you? Stare furiously at your tah-tahs? Not willingly give you cookies, but instead begrudgingly give you their cookies? Woman, time to wake up to the powers you wield - Uschi
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,240
Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,240 |
at least he was thorough the second time around....
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
Funny lawyer story!
A lawyer was knocked down by a car!
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 5,305
kung-fu treachery 5000+ posts
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kung-fu treachery 5000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 5,305 |
Yeah, yeah, I know we get a bad rap, but this one was brilliant. Got it in an e-mail and it made me giggle...
Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in
Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be
granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being
offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which
took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to
the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter):"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's
loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title.
While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented
the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
(Actual Letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been
received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194
years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated
person in this country, particularly those working in the property area,
would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in
1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification
of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership
was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from
Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about
titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope
before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as
I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and
God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world
called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His
origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it
AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now,
may we have our loan?"
He got the loan.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854
Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854 |
Funny lawyer story!
A lawyer was knocked down by a car!
and then went gay.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,069
Public Enemy #4 4000+ posts
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Public Enemy #4 4000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,069 |
Yeah, yeah, I know we get a bad rap, but this one was brilliant. Got it in an e-mail and it made me giggle...
Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in
Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be
granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being
offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which
took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to
the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter):"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's
loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of
Title.
While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented
the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
(Actual Letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been
received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194
years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated
person in this country, particularly those working in the property area,
would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in
1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification
of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership
was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from
Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about
titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope
before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as
I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and
God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world
called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His
origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it
AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now,
may we have our loan?"
He got the loan.
Cound't be arsed...
Oderint, dum metuant.
You are a god damned idiot, you know that? You ought to be smacked upside your dumb-fuck head, even after all these years. Shame on you! -USCHI showin' some love
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854
Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854 |
well least you took the time to click quote and type just to increase your post count.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 14,203
1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
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1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 14,203 |
is Harley a real lawyer, or a fake one like G-man?
Bow ties are coool.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,069
Public Enemy #4 4000+ posts
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Public Enemy #4 4000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,069 |
well least you took the time to click quote and type just to increase your post count. exactly
Oderint, dum metuant.
You are a god damned idiot, you know that? You ought to be smacked upside your dumb-fuck head, even after all these years. Shame on you! -USCHI showin' some love
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,069
Public Enemy #4 4000+ posts
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Public Enemy #4 4000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,069 |
is Harley a real lawyer, or a fake one like G-man? The real question is: are Harley's tits real or fake ones like G-Man's?
Oderint, dum metuant.
You are a god damned idiot, you know that? You ought to be smacked upside your dumb-fuck head, even after all these years. Shame on you! -USCHI showin' some love
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 7,025
graemlin protector 6000+ posts
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graemlin protector 6000+ posts
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 7,025 |
why did i see harley's tits and gman's name in the same senteence?
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 24,593
Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 24,593 |
why did i see harley's tits and gman's name in the same senteence? Because you were looking at G-man's tits.
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 7,025
graemlin protector 6000+ posts
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graemlin protector 6000+ posts
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 7,025 |
gobdammit!
people should trick me with a harley boob talk
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 32,001 Likes: 1
We already are 15000+ posts
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We already are 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 32,001 Likes: 1 |
no offense to anyone, but I hate lawyers.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 9,769
cookie monster 7500+ posts
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OP
cookie monster 7500+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 9,769 |
Funny lawyer story!
A lawyer was knocked down by a car!
By a Welshie who drove on the wrong side of the road!
Dear, sweet Harley Kwink...I'm madly in love with you. Marry me! We can go to Canadia. Or Boston or something. It'll be grand...You know the cookies are a given. They are ALWAYS a given. You could dump me tomorrow and you'd still get the cookies. Boston..shit, wherever dyke weddings were legalized. And where better to rub their little piggie noses in how bad they suck than right on their doorstep? What are they gonna do? Be jealous of you? Stare furiously at your tah-tahs? Not willingly give you cookies, but instead begrudgingly give you their cookies? Woman, time to wake up to the powers you wield - Uschi
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
Nothing can distract from the humour of a lawyer laying in a pool of their own blood.
Especially as (unlike roadkill), the car reversed back to make sure they finished the job!
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106 |
oh yeah, I remember that one!
What's the difference between a dead snake on a road and a dead lawyer? Tire-skid marks in front of the snake.
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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