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cookie monster 7500+ posts
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cookie monster 7500+ posts
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So, my sister got married yesterday and it was the most kick ass party I've ever been to. Seriously, it was the best time I've had a long time. But before we got to the kick ass wedding there was a lot of fuckin things to do to get there and one of the minor, last minute things that I got stuck doing last week was alphabetizing 200+ name cards with the table assignments for each person written on them.
So, as I'm going through the list I start checking out the table numbers of all the people I can't stand - you know they type: cousins that you would never, ever in a million fuckin' years talk to and wouldn't if it weren't for the fact that you are forced to see them at holiday get togethers every year; family friends that annoy the hell out of you for a variety of reasons; etc. - and as I go through the list I realize that they are all at the same table. So, I mention this to my sister (we can't stand many of the same people) and she calmly replies, "Oh, they're all at the 'fuck you' table" - which, of course, promptly made me laugh my ass off. Apparently, the idea was to let all the annoying people deal with each other and not annoy the fuck out of everyone else.
So, here's the thing - any of you see this kinda table at parties/weddings, etc.? Is it obvious to you which table that is? Or worse, have you actually ever been stuck at one?
 Dear, sweet Harley Kwink...I'm madly in love with you. Marry me! We can go to Canadia. Or Boston or something. It'll be grand...You know the cookies are a given. They are ALWAYS a given. You could dump me tomorrow and you'd still get the cookies. Boston..shit, wherever dyke weddings were legalized. And where better to rub their little piggie noses in how bad they suck than right on their doorstep? What are they gonna do? Be jealous of you? Stare furiously at your tah-tahs? Not willingly give you cookies, but instead begrudgingly give you their cookies? Woman, time to wake up to the powers you wield - Uschi
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Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
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My dad was with his second wife when my cousin got married. the four of us, my uncle and two people i didn't know. i quickly moved to the table where everyone was bitching about the crappy bar.
the best part is putting that table near the middle.
Last edited by sneaky bunny; 2007-09-09 7:38 PM.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
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I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
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I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
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My uncle's youngest son had a Bar Mitzfah many years ago.
My Uncle did not want my mom or myself sitting at his table and we ought to have, but he stuck us at a table with a miserable old lady in a wheelchair, a widow who only talked about how much she missed her husband, and a retarded guy with his parents.
I got food poisoning at the party, as did about 20 others.
I used that as an excuse to never go to any more family gatherings cause my family sucks, heh.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok. 
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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cobra kai 15000+ posts
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two of my sisters just got married. ...separately.
both featured fuck you tables.
but, hey, at least i wasn't alone.
giant picture
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faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
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My Uncle ... stuck us at a table with a miserable old lady in a wheelchair, a widow who only talked about how much she missed her husband, and a retarded guy with his parents.
...
I used that as an excuse to never go to any more family gatherings cause my family sucks, heh.
Well, at least the feeling is mutual, eh?
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
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My Uncle ... stuck us at a table with a miserable old lady in a wheelchair, a widow who only talked about how much she missed her husband, and a retarded guy with his parents.
Reax was at the reception?
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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No, if it was me I would have been with your mom.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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I've never been at a fuck you table but I have been stuck in a fuck you car. I once got stuck in a car with two twats that no one else wanted to deal with. Two hour car ride, I faked being asleep the whole time.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
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I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
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I think our planet is actually one ginormous " Fuck you " table...
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Joined: May 2005
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Kneel! 10000+ posts
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Kneel! 10000+ posts
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I got excited when i first saw the title of this thread and who started it... 
big_pimp_tim-made it cool to roll in the first damn place! Mon Jun 11 2007 09:27 PM- harley finally rolled with me "I'm working with him...he's young but, there is much potential. He can apprentice with me and then he's yours for final training. He will remember the face of his father... Some day, Knutreturns just may be the greatest of us all...."-THE bastard
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Joined: May 2003
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cookie monster 7500+ posts
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cookie monster 7500+ posts
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Dear, sweet Harley Kwink...I'm madly in love with you. Marry me! We can go to Canadia. Or Boston or something. It'll be grand...You know the cookies are a given. They are ALWAYS a given. You could dump me tomorrow and you'd still get the cookies. Boston..shit, wherever dyke weddings were legalized. And where better to rub their little piggie noses in how bad they suck than right on their doorstep? What are they gonna do? Be jealous of you? Stare furiously at your tah-tahs? Not willingly give you cookies, but instead begrudgingly give you their cookies? Woman, time to wake up to the powers you wield - Uschi
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Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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He also finished before he had a chance to click the link.
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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cookie monster 7500+ posts
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cookie monster 7500+ posts
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That will go on the TMI list...
Dear, sweet Harley Kwink...I'm madly in love with you. Marry me! We can go to Canadia. Or Boston or something. It'll be grand...You know the cookies are a given. They are ALWAYS a given. You could dump me tomorrow and you'd still get the cookies. Boston..shit, wherever dyke weddings were legalized. And where better to rub their little piggie noses in how bad they suck than right on their doorstep? What are they gonna do? Be jealous of you? Stare furiously at your tah-tahs? Not willingly give you cookies, but instead begrudgingly give you their cookies? Woman, time to wake up to the powers you wield - Uschi
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Joined: Mar 2003
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faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
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fuck you table, tmi list... Kwink is organized
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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Living the dream 15000+ posts
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Living the dream 15000+ posts
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I had a second job for a while doing catering at wedding receptions. Nothing special, just passing out hor' dourves, bringing out the food, and clearing tables. While being tempted by open bars and cake I've seen plenty of 'fuck you' tables. They're a motley crew of the obnoxious, annoying, and demanding. They get on you from the beginning with questions they really don't need to ask and I don't need to answer. "Is this your full time job?", "Do you think they'll last?", "Can't you leave that flask (of wine)?". By mid-evening I dread going by 'that' table. Why couldn't I have the section with all the hot chicks? Then the celebrating ends, the tables are cleared, and it gets close to quitting time. After one last visit to the table that gave me so much grief, one of the couples looks at each other and points to me. "Thanks for putting up with us tonight, we gave you a pretty hard time. Here."
The 'fuck you' tables tip!
Unless they're miserable, old, and stuck up, I ain't complainin'.
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Joined: May 2005
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Kneel! 10000+ posts
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Kneel! 10000+ posts
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big_pimp_tim-made it cool to roll in the first damn place! Mon Jun 11 2007 09:27 PM- harley finally rolled with me "I'm working with him...he's young but, there is much potential. He can apprentice with me and then he's yours for final training. He will remember the face of his father... Some day, Knutreturns just may be the greatest of us all...."-THE bastard
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 12,912
Kneel! 10000+ posts
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Kneel! 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 12,912 |
big_pimp_tim-made it cool to roll in the first damn place! Mon Jun 11 2007 09:27 PM- harley finally rolled with me "I'm working with him...he's young but, there is much potential. He can apprentice with me and then he's yours for final training. He will remember the face of his father... Some day, Knutreturns just may be the greatest of us all...."-THE bastard
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19,432 Likes: 8
brother from another mother 15000+ posts
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brother from another mother 15000+ posts
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I've never been at a fuck you table but I have been stuck in a fuck you car. I once got stuck in a car with two twats that no one else wanted to deal with. Two hour car ride, I faked being asleep the whole time. Did you at least get a handjob from them? It would've made for a more enjoyable trip.
"My friends have always been the best of me." -Doctor Who
"Well,whenever I'm confused,I just check my underwear. It holds most answers to life's questions." Abe Simpson
I can tell by the position of the sun in the sky, that is time for us to go. Until next time, I am Lothar of the Hill People!
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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I probably would have gotten the herpes from them.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Don't look up here for a joke. There's one hanging over your seat. 1000+ posts
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Don't look up here for a joke. There's one hanging over your seat. 1000+ posts
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I wonder if the "fuck you" version of Rob would sit there.
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faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
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fuck you table, tmi list... Kwink is organized
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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