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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900
notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
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OP
notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900 |
I think that most people who post here would agree that the posters at the John Byrne forums are a bit...out of touch with the reality of the modern world. Meaning, specifically, they not only think comic books should be written for 8 year olds, they should be written for 8 year olds of the 1950s who say "shucks" and "golly" a lot while they wear their coonskin caps. I like to lurk over there occasionally to have a little giggle at their expense as they harp on about how Barry Allen should be brought back, or how modern comic book coloring looks worse than the old way or see page after page of praise for whatever drawing he slapped together and is charging one his sad, few remaining fans thousands of dollars for. Once in a while, I'll run across something there so bizarre and so telling of the strange mentality of the posters there it truly amazes me. Here is an example: Someone there started a thread on who people would like to see (DC's) Captain Marvel fight. If you scroll down a bit you'll see a response by one Brian Hague. If you don't wanna click and scroll, here's what he has to say: I want to see Captain Marvel fight his way out of a paper bag. Some bad guy throws Billy into a giant paper bag that Captain Marvel can't punch his way out of. And when he does figure out how to get out of that, he finds that paper bag was inside of a bigger, stronger paper bag.
And then I want to see Captain Marvel take on a bunch of phoney advertisers who've bamboozled the public into believing anything they tell them. When they realize Cap's onto them, they start a campaign against capes and flashy costumes. Trouble ensues...
And then I want to see him investigate a series of missing cats only find the culprit to be an alligator on vacation from the Everglades, walking around town in disguise so he can get proper service in a restaurant. Problem is, the disguise isn't working all that well, so he can't get proper service in a restaurant... And now that Cap shows up to further ruin his holiday, he's plenty mad! Croc fight!!
And then I want him to battle a rubbery, stretchy guy who keeps disappearing before Cap can land a decent punch on him. He turns out to be the Greek god Proteus, mad at Captain Marvel because his wife left him and is now living on Earth sending him letters telling him she's dating Captain Marvel.
And then I want him to go up against a group of college froshes who've made a bet as to how many times they can bean Cap in the head with canned vegatables and get away with it.
And then a ventriloquist is hired by Sivana to imitate Billy's voice and steal his thunder. Unfortunately, he speaks through his dummy when he does it, and it's the dummy who gains the powers, going on a block-headed rampage through the city.
And then I want an evil wizard to show up who had been a foe of Shazam's from the distant past and argue in court that he's the rightful possessor of Captain Marvel's powers since he owned the equivalant of a copyright on the magicks Shazam used to first gain favor with the various pantheons he's gathered to empower his champions. Lots of good courtroom testimony from the likes of Zues, Mercury, Solomon, Hera, and so on...
Maybe an invasion of Venusian Glompers after that, fighting to regain their queen, Beautia Sivana.
Basically, I just want Cap to be fun to read, and accessible to all. Silly to semi-serious set-ups, leading to exciting adventure stories, all done with a straight face and some subtext that actually has something to say. Once we re-establish who Captain Marvel is, then the occasional crossover with the Metal Men or the Fantastic Four would be fun. It don't think Reed would believe in "magic words" and "mystic lightning" at face value. At the very least, a house call from Dr. Strange would be called for. Maybe Ben could get stuck at the Rock of Eternity and gain the ability to change back and forth between forms for the duration of the story. Captain Marvel: Lost in Asgard, battling frost giants and Hela's Army of the Dead.. Again, maintaining the tone of a Captain Marvel story is the key.
At first, I thought it was a sort of funny joke, but this guy's serious. And his fellow posters go on to praise him for his "great" ideas. Now, it wouldn't bother me so much if these were SUPPOSED to be crazy, off the wall goofy stories. But that's not what ol' Brian and his buddies at the Byrne Boards want. They want stupid stories told in a serious way. So, yeah. They're fucking nuts. I'll let you know if there's any more insanity of this scale over there.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
The stupidity of that guy's post just gave me a nosebleed.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,153
Unbreakable 3000+ posts
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Unbreakable 3000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,153 |
I used to be a member. (I registered so I could ask Byrne about why Superman killed the Phantom Zone villains.) But after having lurked for some time and then not visiting for some months, I discovered that I wasn't registered any longer. I hadn't been rude or broken any of the silly rules. I read at another board that that happened to a lot of members of the Byrne boards, so I guess Byrne don't want to keep his ("normal") fans or something.
"Batman is only meaningful as an answer to a world which in its basics is chaotic and in the hands of the wrong people, where no justice can be found. I think it's very suitable to our perception of the world's condition today... Batman embodies the will to resist evil" -Frank Miller
"Conan, what's the meaning of life?"
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!"
-Conan the Barbarian
"Well, yeah."
-Jason E. Perkins
"If I had a dime for every time Pariah was right about something I'd owe twenty cents."
-Ultimate Jaburg53
"Fair enough. I defer to your expertise."
-Prometheus
Rack MisterJLA!
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 19,633
I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
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I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 19,633 |
Pig Iran had once provided the link to Byrne's boards.
I checked it out for a number of hours one night.
His boards smelled of burned meat and oppression, so I left and did not join.
The worst part was how everyone kissed Byrne's ass.. ugh!
They did have a gay forum, where the guys all posted pics of hunky, white, shirtless, 20 something guys... they'd have hated it if I'd gone in and posted pics of Ving Rhames, Paul Winfield, and Bill Cobbs!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok. 
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753
Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
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Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753 |
Matilda Rose Ledger User 0 posts Wed Jan 23 2008 12:30 AM Changing basic profile
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 10,539
I'm just sayin' 10000+ posts
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I'm just sayin' 10000+ posts
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 10,539 |
It's a dog eat dog world & I'm wearing milkbone underwear.
I can get you a toe.
1,999,999+ points.
Damn you and your lemonade!!
Booooooooooooooobs.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,377
6000+ posts
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6000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
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The stupidity of that guy's post just gave me a nosebleed. Golly! Shucks! Sounds like my kind of forum...bring back Barry Allen? I've been saying that forever! Golly Shucks! My coonskin hat just fell off my tallywhacker!
-----once over and twice twisted---------
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,153
Unbreakable 3000+ posts
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Unbreakable 3000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,153 |
"Batman is only meaningful as an answer to a world which in its basics is chaotic and in the hands of the wrong people, where no justice can be found. I think it's very suitable to our perception of the world's condition today... Batman embodies the will to resist evil" -Frank Miller
"Conan, what's the meaning of life?"
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!"
-Conan the Barbarian
"Well, yeah."
-Jason E. Perkins
"If I had a dime for every time Pariah was right about something I'd owe twenty cents."
-Ultimate Jaburg53
"Fair enough. I defer to your expertise."
-Prometheus
Rack MisterJLA!
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900
notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
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OP
notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900 |
I've decided to abuse my power and sticky this. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 |
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,747
I've got more guns than you. 6000+ posts
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I've got more guns than you. 6000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,747 |
You just sticky'd llance's now-coonskin-cap-free tallywhacker!
"Ah good. Now I'm on the internet clearly saying I like tranny cleavage. This shouldn't get me harassed at all." -- Lothar of the Hill People
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Joined: Jan 2008
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500+ posts
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500+ posts
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,793 Likes: 3
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,793 Likes: 3 |
You just sticky'd llance's now-coonskin-cap-free tallywhacker! oh, that's always sticky
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,747
I've got more guns than you. 6000+ posts
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I've got more guns than you. 6000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,747 |
You'd know... how? 
"Ah good. Now I'm on the internet clearly saying I like tranny cleavage. This shouldn't get me harassed at all." -- Lothar of the Hill People
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,793 Likes: 3
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,793 Likes: 3 |
you're young yet. You'll get your turn.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900
notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
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OP
notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900 |
Good ol' JB often posts images of the commissions he draws and his little army of sad fanboys then responds with page after page of praise for his latest work of "art". Just check this little number out. They're going as far as to call this the best drawing of Doom in decades. Usually, you can blame the awkward positioning of characters on him trying to fill the page, but this? The guy's just sitting there and JB can't pull off drawing arms that bend the way human arms are supposed to bend. Let's see if I can directly link the image:  I think the best word to describe it is "Liefeldian"
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 43,951 Likes: 6
Officially "too old for this shit" 15000+ posts
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Officially "too old for this shit" 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 43,951 Likes: 6 |
I'll say. Doom looks like a dwarf in that picture: big head, tiny body, stubby arms and legs. It's like the Victor VonDoom of Munchkinland there.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,810 Likes: 2 |
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 17,853 Likes: 3
Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
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Son of Anarchist 15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 17,853 Likes: 3 |
The thread with that drawing reeks of Byrne Anus and the collective saliva of his fanboys.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 |
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