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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,747
I've got more guns than you. 6000+ posts
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OP
I've got more guns than you. 6000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,747 |
So, I walk to work. Most days, at least. Yesterday, I was... er. Blessed. With a unique experience that I wish to never repeat again. I was literally 1/4 mile away from work at about 2:45 PM. Across the road, I noticed a heavy-set older man parking his bicycle and stumbling slightly as he began walking away. Didn't really think anything of it. Then he called over to me and asked if I had a cigarette. Being the charitable person I am, I said yes, and offered to walk over and give him one after the traffic cleared. But he wouldn't have that. No, he had to walk across the street in heavy traffic. I gave him a cigarette, lit it for him (but he stole my lighter anyway, the bastard) and he shook my hand, started talking to me. Immediately, I noticed he stunk of booze. Not a huge surprise, but it didn't make me wanna stick around. He started commenting on how strong I was, which made me want to get the fuck away even more; I thought maybe he was sizing me up, seeing what he could get away with. I just shrugged and said it came from working so damn much. Next, he started telling me the bike across the street was stolen, and it was a $200 Mongoose, he put 15 miles on it, but he stole that bike. Oh, did I mention he stole the bike? He sure did. SIX FUCKING TIMES! Then he told me he was Jesus Christ, and was going to die for our sins. I told him that I'd heard that story once before and it didn't really excite me the first time. Then he asked if I was gonna give him my hat.
"Uh. What, you want it?"
"Well, yeah, sure, I want somethin' to remember you by."
"Yeah, here ya go, I gotta get to work, take care."
When I die, before I get to Hell, I'm gonna kick Jesus in the balls and shout "WHERE'S MY FUCKIN' HAT, YOU PRICK?!"
"Ah good. Now I'm on the internet clearly saying I like tranny cleavage. This shouldn't get me harassed at all." -- Lothar of the Hill People
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308 |
I didn't read any of that. Did you kill yourself again in that post?
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 |
i think pcgay just jumped the pathetic shark.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308 |
Is it worth reading? Anything in there I can use against him?
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 |
i read the title saw it was several paragraphs long, and skipped to the end which was lame so im assuming the middle is as well....
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308 |
I have a bad feeling its some kind of inspirational short story. He used to spam AIM chats with that kind of crap.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854
Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854 |
all i read is that he'll teabag jesus.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 33,385 Likes: 1
Regenerated 15000+ posts
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Regenerated 15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 33,385 Likes: 1 |
He nearly got raped by a drunk claiming to be Jesus. And, as it appears, a cunning bike, hat, and lighter thief. He commented on how strong PC looked, and wanted the hat to remember him by.
Yeah.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854
Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854 |
devon's jealous he didn't pick 'Jesus' as his stage name.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308 |
He nearly got raped by a drunk claiming to be Jesus. And, as it appears, a cunning bike, hat, and lighter thief. He commented on how strong PC looked, and wanted the hat to remember him by.
Yeah. ugh. That was bad enough. Thanks for taking one for the team.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 33,385 Likes: 1
Regenerated 15000+ posts
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Regenerated 15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 33,385 Likes: 1 |
 It was my turn in the rotation...
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854
Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854 |
We don't care about your circle jerk
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,427
Don't look up here for a joke. There's one hanging over your seat. 1000+ posts
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Don't look up here for a joke. There's one hanging over your seat. 1000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,427 |
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 33,385 Likes: 1
Regenerated 15000+ posts
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Regenerated 15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 33,385 Likes: 1 |
We don't care about your circle jerk Okay, let's talk about yours then...
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753
Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
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Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753 |
Lothar of The Hill People cool User Don't make fun of my hat!
10000+ posts Tue Jul 22 2008 12:31 AM Reading a post
Forum: PJP's Random Chat and Insurgency Roast
Thread: My hat was stolen by Jesus Christ
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19,432 Likes: 8
brother from another mother 15000+ posts
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brother from another mother 15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 19,432 Likes: 8 |
Circle jerks should be an Olympic event.
"My friends have always been the best of me." -Doctor Who
"Well,whenever I'm confused,I just check my underwear. It holds most answers to life's questions." Abe Simpson
I can tell by the position of the sun in the sky, that is time for us to go. Until next time, I am Lothar of the Hill People!
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753
Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
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Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753 |
Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk love Moderator SPLURT!
15000+ posts Tue Jul 22 2008 12:33 AM Reading a post
Forum: PJP's Random Chat and Insurgency Roast
Thread: My hat was stolen by Jesus Christ
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753
Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
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Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753 |
sneaky bunny crying Moderator Pooter-cooter
15000+ posts Tue Jul 22 2008 12:32 AM Reading a post
Forum: PJP's Random Chat and Insurgency Roast
Thread: My hat was stolen by Jesus Christ
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854
Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854 |
We don't care about your circle jerk Okay, let's talk about yours then... Ah yes, the proverbial high school masturbation stories. Everybody's got one, in my case I have several. My first JO story centers around my three boarding school roomates. These three jokers were all from mexico city and they liked to lay in bed whacking off by holding the bases of their dick in their left hand and taking the palm of thier right and squishing the tip and moving the hand in a circular pattern all the while chanting MOLANIO MOLANIO! Which is spanish for stir. after they got good and hard they'd size each other up, like any of those three was going to miraculously grow overnight. In addtion to this major pecadillo was the situation with the underwear. You see, they showered in them. They were so interested in showing thier cocks to each other but they would wear their sergio valentes into the shower. After these three jokers got done sudsing thier shit catchers they would leave them on the bedposts to dry. So one day I tied them all together and hung them out the window. Two days later my fruit of the loom tighty whiteys were on the end of the newly dubbed Molinio flag. Damn I wished I'd gone commando back then or at least bought some bikini briefs. But I made it through and the great underwear flag has survived to this day. a tribute to multi-cultural jacking and designer briefs.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753
Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
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Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753 |
sneaky bunny crying Moderator Pooter-cooter
15000+ posts Tue Jul 22 2008 12:50 AM Reading a post
Forum: PJP's Random Chat and Insurgency Roast
Thread: My hat was stolen by Jesus Christ
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753
Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
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Ignored by 3 users and 2 moderators 4000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,753 |
Im Not Mister Mxyzptlk love Moderator SPLURT!
15000+ posts Tue Jul 22 2008 12:55 AM Reading a post
Forum: PJP's Random Chat and Insurgency Roast
Thread: My hat was stolen by Jesus Christ
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