RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED

11. No one ever steals your chair.

10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

8. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

7. So that -with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your
exaggerated resume.

6. You want to see if it's like the dream.

5. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

3. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources.

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

Get bent, man. I skateboarded naked.

Quotes about Andrew Johnson

The inauguration went off very well except that the Vice President Elect was too drunk to perform his duties and disgraced himself and the Senate by making a drunken foolish speech. I was never so mortified in my life, had I been able to find a hole I would have dropped through it out of sight.
-Senator Zachariah T. Chandler in a letter to his wife, quoted in the US Senate Biography

Civil War Era Humor

FREE WHISKEY... A soldier, who was habitually drunk, publicly announced to all the men in his company and surrounding companies that he was swearing off drinking and that all the other soldiers should give up this foul habit also. The other soldiers would tease him to fall off the wagon by giving him whiskey and get him drunk. Every morning he would be back preaching about the sins of alcohol. One day his tent mate told him he ought to give up preaching about the evils of the jug as he always ends up drunk. With a twinkle in his blood shot eyes he said " what, and give up all that free whiskey?"

Wearing clothes is sooooo twentieth century!

"My girlfriend claims that her last boyfriend was a better kisser than me and I have to admit, he is pretty good." - Dwight York

Tourist:
We're from Wisconsin.
Ford Fairlane:
Yeah, and I'm from my dad's penis. Get outta here.
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Johnny Crunch:
Guys like you, you do grow on trees.
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Ford Fairlane:
Shake me, Jazz.
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Ford Fairlane:
You're just in time to see what I refer to as: solving the case. It's cute. I think you'll like it

1181

It is frequently rumored that the expression "rule of thumb", which is used to indicate a technique for generating a quick estimate, was originally coined from a law allowing a man to beat his wife with a stick, provided it was not thicker than the width of his thumb.[37] In fact, the origin of this phrase remains uncertain, but the false etymology has been broadly reported in media including The Washington Post (1989), CNN (1993), and Time magazine (1983).

Ways To Know You Are In Love
The most common but most important feeling is the indescribable butterflies in your stomach.
When you can’t stop thinking about the person despite all your efforts, you may be in love. When the mention of the name is enough to bring a smile to your face, then you may have fallen in love.
When you start caring for the person more than you even care for yourself. However, there is a very thin line between caring about a person and actually loving a person. So interpret the feelings before you express your love.

Barney Frank's 'Risky Business'

Most people these days know Massachusetts Dem. Barney Frank as one of the most powerful gay politicians in the country. He was an outspoken critic of the Bush administration and helped President Barack Obama campaign to his historic win.

But in 1990, Frank almost lost his seat in the House of Representatives when his bizarre relationship with male prostitute Steve Gobie came to light.

Frank acknowledged that he had paid for Gobie's services several times with private funds, but denied Gobie's more damning accusations that he knew about the Risky Business-like prostitution ring Gobie was running out of the representative's apartment. Frank maintained that he was charmed by Gobie and took the escort into his home in the hopes that he would straighten out his life. He says he didn't know what was going on behind his back. From the Washington Post:
In late 1985, Gobie says, he began to use Frank's apartment and two other locations for prostitution. Frank knew about the prostitution all along, but it was never explicitly discussed, Gobie says.

"He knew exactly what I was doing," Gobie said. "It was pretty obvious. If he had to come home early {from work}, he would call home to be sure the coast was clear . . . . He was living vicariously through me. He said it was kind of a thrill, and if he had been 20 years younger he might be doing the same thing."

Frank denies that he knew, saying he learned from his landlord and kicked Gobie out in August 1987. Gobie supports this part of Frank's story.
It turns out Gobie was something of a fame-whore. The escort tried to sell his story to the Washington Post and speculated that he would "slap together" a book and sell it to the highest bidder. While Gobie's worst accusations were dismissed by by the House Ethics Committee, it was found that Frank had used his position to dismiss 33 of Gobie's outstanding parking tickets. For this, Frank was officially reprimanded by the House and won reelection in 1990.

Everybody Hates John Edwards

2008 was a bad year for John Edwards.

It was one thing when the National Enquirer was speculating that Edwards was carrying on an extramarital affair. It was another thing all together when one of the tabloid's photographers caught him leaving his Rielle Hunter's Los Angeles hotel room at 3 am and Edwards responded by ducking into the nearest men's room and holding the door shut.

That's how it all came crashing down for the smooth-talking young politician with the pearly whites and a truckload of pathos (courtesy his loving, cancer-stricken wife, Elizabeth). One day he was a Democratic rockstar who seemed like a prime candidate for Vice President. The next, he was the most hated man in the party.

On August 7, 2008, John Edwards admitted to Bob Woodruff of ABC News that he had been carrying on an extramarital affair with Rielle Hunter, but he denied being the father of her infant daughter. Hunter left the "Father" portion of the girl's birth certificate blank, and Elizabeth Edwards herself has said she doesn't know who the father is, but the general consensus is that it's probably John.

The revelation was particularly damaging to John, whose wife made a point of campaigning with him. For many voters, Elizabeth, who has suffered from breast cancer since 2004, humanized John, and their romance was something John spoke about publicly.

So when his affair with Rielle Hunter became public knowledge, he didn't just look like a hypocrite. He looked like the biggest asshole on the planet.

"How could he cheat on his poor, cancer-stricken wife?" was the question on millions of voters' lips.

It's important to remember that John Edwards had a shot in the primaries. At one point, he had a chance edge out both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. If he had, there's a good chance John McCain would have been elected president. Edwards wouldn't have just ruined his own political career, like Gary Hart, he would have handed the GOP 4 more years in the White House.

19. "The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last." - Evan Esar

20. "What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us." - Julia Cameron