Pariah, are you alright? Do you hear voices telling you to kill yourself? If so, you should probably listen to them. Sounds like they've got it all figured out for you.
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet."
Pariah, are you alright? Do you hear voices telling you to kill yourself? If so, you should probably listen to them. Sounds like they've got it all figured out for you.
Aren't you listening? It's people who are going to do that for me!
C'mon. You don't want to give them the satisfaction, do you? Be a man.
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet."
I've left my wife and I'm living with my parents. She's a manic depressive hard core alcoholic who has basically quit working and has wiped out the bank account that was supposed to buy the house that I'm contractually obligated to buy. she tried to kill herself a month ago after a fight with me and wound up in a few hospitals under detox and suicide watch for a week. Then 4 days later i found her polishing off a bottle of vodka and she attacked me when i grabbed it. Then i woke up from a nap the next day and she was wasted again. We started arguing and she took a knife and split her leg open, so I packed up and ran out. She has utterly destroyed my life but acts like I'm the asshole husband who deserted her when she needed me most even though I've tried for a year to get her help, but was I foolishly believed she'd stop like she said she would. I even bought her a new car because she promised me she'd start working again. I've literally prayed to God to take my life because I'm too weak to take it myself. I fucking hate living and really wish it was over.
Let's split the difference. Why don't you go kill Pariah?
Seriously, though, Doog, I feel for you. My brother was married to the lazy/crazy combo at one time too. Sounds like you tried, but in the end you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Time to focus on yourself for a change. Hope all goes well for you from here on out.
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet."
I've left my wife and I'm living with my parents. She's a manic depressive hard core alcoholic who has basically quit working and has wiped out the bank account that was supposed to buy the house that I'm contractually obligated to buy. she tried to kill herself a month ago after a fight with me and wound up in a few hospitals under detox and suicide watch for a week. Then 4 days later i found her polishing off a bottle of vodka and she attacked me when i grabbed it. Then i woke up from a nap the next day and she was wasted again. We started arguing and she took a knife and split her leg open, so I packed up and ran out. She has utterly destroyed my life but acts like I'm the asshole husband who deserted her when she needed me most even though I've tried for a year to get her help, but was I foolishly believed she'd stop like she said she would. I even bought her a new car because she promised me she'd start working again. I've literally prayed to God to take my life because I'm too weak to take it myself. I fucking hate living and really wish it was over.
You're definitely worse off than me since it sounds like all of your options are dried up. I have a lot of options at the moment, but little time to make a decision, and every option leads to suffering and life changing events.
Certain.....things have happened to my family as well. And my job. And to me. I have been unable to confide in anyone with regards to what my situation is, and so I'm just totally lost.
I'm sorry she's made you feel the way you do. She's a consummate parasite.
It might not seem like it now Stupid Dog but things will get a whole lot better for you because you made the decision not to let your wife take you down with her.
I've left my wife and I'm living with my parents. She's a manic depressive hard core alcoholic who has basically quit working and has wiped out the bank account that was supposed to buy the house that I'm contractually obligated to buy. she tried to kill herself a month ago after a fight with me and wound up in a few hospitals under detox and suicide watch for a week. Then 4 days later i found her polishing off a bottle of vodka and she attacked me when i grabbed it. Then i woke up from a nap the next day and she was wasted again. We started arguing and she took a knife and split her leg open, so I packed up and ran out. She has utterly destroyed my life but acts like I'm the asshole husband who deserted her when she needed me most even though I've tried for a year to get her help, but was I foolishly believed she'd stop like she said she would. I even bought her a new car because she promised me she'd start working again. I've literally prayed to God to take my life because I'm too weak to take it myself. I fucking hate living and really wish it was over.
This is a rare occasion where Doc, MEM and I are all in agreement on every point.
This seems like it sucks but leaving was the best and only decision you could make.
She'd either have killed, seriously injured you or she'd have fabricated some abuse and had you in jail on trumped up "dv" charges.
Doog: I had a girlfriend once (1998) who was on medication. When she didn't take it, she became a banshee and I really worried about her. I had another girlfriend (1991) who was a nasty drunk, and another one (2008) who was depressed over her ex, and passive-aggressive angry about it, and I worried about her self-harming. (All three were nice girls otherwise.) And my ex, who is a really good person, was stressing me to health problems. Sometimes you have to know when to fold, and I repeatedly folded for a lot less extreme reasons than those confronting you.
Its not your fault. Sounds like you did the best you could.
Next: relax. I said this to a friend the other day who is depressed because she is gorgeous and in a shitty casual relationship with an arsehole. I assume you have no kids? With no responsibilities, you can wander the globe. Fucking come down here and crash on my couch for a week while you do what Herbert Hoover did and get a job working in a Western Australian mine and make some real cash. See the world. Breathe some air. Help some people. Do some good. Sit on the beach and watch the sun set. Do whatever you want. If I had no kids I'd be having a year off and just wandering around with my wife looking at stuff and meeting people.
One of my happiest memories is sitting on a beach in Lagos, Portugal, looking at my toes. The water and the sky were the same colour. I felt like I was floating. It was 4 weeks into a 7 week holiday and I realised I'd not thought about work for a fortnight (my job is and has always been pretty stressful). I wiggled my toes and felt euphoric from the freedom.
Thanks but I have enough responsibilities to keep me local. I've been out of the house for over a month now and I think that's shaken things up a lot. I close on the house I've been trying to buy on Wednesday and my wife has been drinking significantly less, but not enough to bring me home. I visit her and my dogs a couple days a week but we still argue at least once on every visit. I'm going to see how the next few weeks go and take it slow, I also hope that closing on this house will remove a huge amount of pressure off us.
Doog: I had a girlfriend once (1998) who was on medication. When she didn't take it, she became a banshee and I really worried about her. I had another girlfriend (1991) who was a nasty drunk, and another one (2008) who was depressed over her ex, and passive-aggressive angry about it, and I worried about her self-harming. (All three were nice girls otherwise.) And my ex, who is a really good person, was stressing me to health problems. Sometimes you have to know when to fold, and I repeatedly folded for a lot less extreme reasons than those confronting you.
Its not your fault. Sounds like you did the best you could.
Next: relax. I said this to a friend the other day who is depressed because she is gorgeous and in a shitty casual relationship with an arsehole. I assume you have no kids? With no responsibilities, you can wander the globe. Fucking come down here and crash on my couch for a week while you do what Herbert Hoover did and get a job working in a Western Australian mine and make some real cash. See the world. Breathe some air. Help some people. Do some good. Sit on the beach and watch the sun set. Do whatever you want. If I had no kids I'd be having a year off and just wandering around with my wife looking at stuff and meeting people.
One of my happiest memories is sitting on a beach in Lagos, Portugal, looking at my toes. The water and the sky were the same colour. I felt like I was floating. It was 4 weeks into a 7 week holiday and I realised I'd not thought about work for a fortnight (my job is and has always been pretty stressful). I wiggled my toes and felt euphoric from the freedom.
Go wiggle your toes somewhere.
What about the one who was built like Kerri Kendall? I want to know about her.
Thanks but I have enough responsibilities to keep me local. I've been out of the house for over a month now and I think that's shaken things up a lot. I close on the house I've been trying to buy on Wednesday and my wife has been drinking significantly less, but not enough to bring me home. I visit her and my dogs a couple days a week but we still argue at least once on every visit. I'm going to see how the next few weeks go and take it slow, I also hope that closing on this house will remove a huge amount of pressure off us.
Did you officially divorce her? Good fuck, man, don't make any kind of a purchase while you are still married to that one.
My dads unexpected death in 2015 along with all the stress from going through the divorce caused a severe mental breakdown. I made some bad choices, payed for them, and then woke up and started cleaning up my life. I got the divorce finalized in 2017. It was super messy and she made the divorce, and me being alive, as difficult as possible for as long as she could. I lost the house in foreclosure because she refused to pay the mortgage, allow it to be sold, or move out so I stopped paying on it. I walked away for my sanity and it cost me everything I’ve ever owned. Good news is because she refused to show to court I got out of it with no alimony.
I rescued my dog back from her. He was severely neglected and missing chunks of hair from his body. I don’t believe it was physical abuse, he was just stressed and eating poorly because she was such a disaster. I left him in my moms care and moved away. I met a new woman and she treats me so well and kindly I almost can’t believe how fortunate I am! We got married last year and for the first time in my life, I have peace in my home.
I found out through contacts that my ex was going through liver failure. I made contact with her to try and make peace with her but it’s impossible. She has made such a hash of her life and she blames me and her parents for all of it. She tried tearing me apart one last time but I just wished her the best and blocked her for the last time.
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